All the Things He Said

At five years old, there were only a few things Apollo Justice knew for certain: the bracelet on his wrist was from his mother, Dhurke was not his real dad, and he was never safe.

For as long as he could remember, he had never known peace. It was inevitable, of course. His foster father was the founder of the Defiant Dragons, a rebel group that was hated all throughout Khura’in. Apollo had been told daily that they were in hiding. He and his foster brother couldn’t just go out and play like normal kids. Most all of the country wanted their father, and by extension them, dead. Apollo couldn’t count the number of times he and Nahyuta had to hide themselves somewhere in the house, the sound of gunfire and shouting outside.

In fact, about a week ago, some of the Queen’s soldiers had nearly found their little shack. Apollo and Nahyuta hadn’t been allowed to leave the house the entire time, and for the first three days they had been instructed to hide underneath the floorboards in the living room and were told not to come out until it was safe. Dhurke had looked a little worse for wear, but he promised them it was safe and they flew into his arms and hugged him, both knowing it would only be a matter of time until they had to hide again, terrified of what lay outside their doorstep.

But it wasn’t all bad. Living high up in the mountains could be fun sometimes. There was a clear, rushing river just a few yards away from the shack that Apollo and Nahyuta liked to play in together on days in which Dhurke insisted they were safe enough to. It was fun aside from the leeches that would attach themselves to their legs during the summer.

Today, at least, they could have fun. Spring was slowly turning to summer and it was gorgeous and sunny outside without being too hot. They were playing in the river today, actually. Apollo was standing by a tree, his eyes shut and his forehead pressed against it as he counted from one to one hundred. There weren’t a ton of places to hide outside by the woods, but they didn’t care; their game would turn to tag and splashing one another with river water sooner or later.

“Ninety-eight, ninety-nine… one hundred!” Apollo declared, finally turning around. “Ready or not, here I come!”

He ran through the grass on bare feet, happily searching for any sign of his foster brother. It never took too long to find him. There were only so many rocks he could hide behind or trees he could climb, plus his bright silver hair really stood out in the colorful scenery.

“Found you!” Apollo exclaimed. He was standing on a ridge just above the river where, a few feet below, he found Nahyuta standing on a rock in the middle of the rushing water. “C’mon, are you even trying?”

“Of course I am! I just…” Nahyuta hesitated, glancing at the rushing water all around him, then back up at Apollo. Even from where he was standing Apollo could tell he was nervous.

“…Are you stuck?” He finally asked. “How did you even get down here?”

“I jumped.” Nahyuta replied. “I-I thought that you’d be too scared to follow me…”

“Should I get Dhurke?”

“No! He’s going to make fun of me!”

“Ok. Want me to help then?”

“…Yes.”

Apollo knelt down on the ledge he was standing on and stretched his hand out as far as it would go. Nahyuta followed suit, standing on his tiptoes on the edge of the rock, reaching out for Apollo’s hand.

“You’re too short to reach me!” Nahyuta said.

“Well can’t you come a little closer?”

“No!”

“C’mon, just a little? You're really close!”

Nahyuta hesitantly did as told, and their fingertips brushed, and –

Nahyuta screamed as he fell into the river, his small body quickly rushed away by the heavy currents.

“Nahyuta!!” Apollo screamed. He was scared too, but he didn’t hesitate in jumping in after him.

It was only when he hit the water did Apollo remember that he didn’t actually know how to swim. Not only that, but he was much smaller than Nahyuta, and he stood no chance against the frigid, swift current of the river.

He drowned out the sounds of Nahyuta’s screams with his own as the water briskly carried him away too. He reached out desperately for anything to grab on to – a rock, some driftwood, anything that would keep him afloat - but he could never hang on to anything for too long. His head kept dipping below the surface of the water, and no matter how much he coughed and choked more kept getting in, burning his throat. He soon found himself growing weak, his muscles aching from how desperately he was paddling, his mind numb from the panic. Just as he felt himself beginning to lose consciousness, he heard a loud voice bellow:

“Hold on! I’m coming!!”

He soon heard more splashing, then felt something strong and warm wrap itself around him, lifting him out of the water. Apollo was too busy coughing up the water in his lungs to realize that he and Nahyuta were being held firmly in Dhurke’s arms as he carried them to safety. Dhurke made sure they were all quite a few yards away from the river before putting them back on their feet. Apollo and Nahyuta immediately fell to the ground, their shaking legs betraying them.

“Are you boys all right?” Dhurke asked, kneeling down before them. He looked worried too, but he smiled at them anyways.

Nahyuta was the first one to break, tears streaming down his face as he cried, flinging himself into Dhurke’s arms again. Apollo soon followed suit, scared off his wits and so, so thankful that Dhurke had rescued them both. Dhurke just laughed, and hugged them both close.

“That was a close one! Thought I’d lost you two!” Despite his attempts to cheer them up, it didn’t work much and they continued to sob heavily.

“You risked your life… so save us…” Nahyuta wept. “Why?”

“What father wouldn’t risk his life to save his own children?”

Apollo couldn’t help but notice that he said children as opposed to child. It made him feel a bit better, but the tears kept falling.

“Nahyuta, Apollo…” Dhurke continued, “Don’t you ever hesitate to call when you need me. Understand?” The two of them nodded and he finally let them go, but not before ruffling their hair. They all headed back inside the shack, for the most part in silence. While they had calmed down substantially, both of them were still terrified and reeling from the incident. It didn’t help that they were freezing from the cold water, too. After Dhurke got the two of them some towels and put some tea brewing, he finally asked them:

“So… either of you mind telling me what happened?”

“We were playing hide and seek by the river.” Apollo began. “I counted to one-hundred, then-”

“It was Apollo’s fault.” Nahyuta interrupted.

“Huh?” Apollo snapped. “Hey, how’s it my fault?!”

“If you hadn’t told me to get closer, I wouldn’t have fallen in!”

“I was just trying to reach you!”

“I said you were too short!”

“Boys, calm down-" Dhurke said.

“You’re bad luck!” Nahyuta exclaimed, pointing accusingly at Apollo. “Nothing good ever happens when you’re around!”

“That’s not true!” 

“Then how come you’re even here? No one wants you; not even your parents!”

Instead of arguing in return, Apollo leapt at Nahyuta, knocking him down. He pinned him to the ground and hit him.

“Take that back! Take that back right now!” Apollo shouted, hot tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he continued hitting Nahyuta.

“That’s enough!” Dhurke shouted, scooping Apollo up once more.

“Lemme go, Dhurke!” He struggled in Dhurke’s grip, but to little avail. He was still mad; furious, even, but Dhurke was much stronger than he was and he had no choice but to give up.

“Apollo, no hitting your brother!” Dhurke scolded. He put Apollo down, and held his hand out to help Nahyuta up.

“Thank you, father-”

“And as for you, Nahyuta,” Dhurke interrupted, “apologize to your brother this instant!”

“He’s not even my real brother!”

“That’s no excuse to talk to him that way. Do you want me to send you to your room? Well?”

Nahyuta said nothing, instead just glaring at the ground.

“Nahyuta, I’m going to count to three. You better apologize to Apollo before I hit three. One…”

But before he could even say two, Apollo had already rushed to his and Nahyuta’s shared bedroom, slamming the door loudly behind him. He curled up on his bed and began weeping into his hands. He was still mad, still very, very, mad… but a part of him deep down was terrified. What if Nahyuta was right? What if he really was bad luck and did cause bad things to happen? What if it was his fault that Nahyuta had almost drowned in the river? What if he was so unlikable that even his own parents didn’t even want him? Was that why he was living with Dhurke right now? Did he just take pity on this poor, unwanted kid and take him in? Why in the world would he do that if he was so much trouble?

He wasn’t sure how long he had been crying, but soon enough he heard the bedroom door creak open and heavy footsteps approached him.

“Hey, Apollo.” Dhurke said. Apollo made no effort to roll over and face him. “I brought you some tea. Come on… it’ll warm you up. I don’t want you catching a cold.”

Begrudgingly, Apollo rolled over from the ball he was curled up in and sat up, quickly wiping his wet eyes on his arm. Dhurke sat besides Apollo and handed him his teacup. Apollo took a sip; the tea was a little too hot and a little too bland, but he wasn’t in the mood to ask for any sugar.

“You want to talk, son?” Dhurke asked in a gentler voice than usual. Apollo shook his head. “Oh, don’t be like that. It’ll make you feel better.”

“Am I really bad luck, Dhurke?” Apollo finally asked.

“What? No, no, of course you’re not! No one’s inherently unlucky!” Dhurke replied, patting Apollo on the back gently. “Don’t dwell on it too much; Nahyuta was just mad from falling in the river and wanted someone to blame it on. He didn’t mean it.”

“B-but it really was my fault!” Apollo exclaimed. “He was right, if I hadn’t told him to come closer, he wouldn’t have fallen in!”

“It was an accident, Apollo. Nahyuta even admitted it, eventually.”

“But what about my real parents?” Apollo asked. “You said it yourself: a parent would do anything for their kids! So why isn’t it the same for me? Why didn’t my parents want me? I-”

“Apollo!” Dhurke exclaimed, the loudness of his voice startled Apollo into silence. “That is not true.”

“How do you know?”

“Listen…” He sighed, then gently gripped Apollo’s shoulder. “I wanted to wait until you were a bit older to tell you this, but I think it’s something you need to know. Apollo… you’re here with me and Nahyuta because your father died.”

“He’s… dead?” Just saying the word itself sent a shiver down his spine. “But you always said he had gone off somewhere.”

“I know I said that, and I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to upset you. But your father, Jove, died when you were just a baby. The two of you were in a burning building, and… he gave his life to protect you.”

“H-he did?”

“Yes. Even in his dying moments he did anything he could to save your life. I’m sure he wanted you more than anything in the world. So don’t you ever say that again, you hear?”

“O-okay…” Apollo sniffled, wiping his eyes once more. “But what about my mom…?”

“Well…” Dhurke looked hesitant for a moment. “I’m afraid I don’t know where she is, son. I never met her. From what I heard, she disappeared after your father died, and no one’s heard from her since.”

“Oh…” Apollo, averting his gaze away.

“I’m sure she’s looking desperately for you, Apollo.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really! If she didn’t care about you, why would she give you such a nice bracelet?”

Apollo gazed down at this bracelet with a newfound appreciation.

However, before he could say anything else, Nahyuta entered the room, looking rather remorseful. He looked a little disheveled but thankfully he wasn’t bruising anywhere. Now that he was standing before him, Apollo felt terrible for attacking him like that.

“Nahyuta, I’m-”

“I’m sorry, Apollo.” Nahyuta said first. “I was just upset from earlier. I… I didn’t mean it.”

For some reason, his bracelet felt like it was tightening up. Apollo ignored it; he must have been imagining things.

“It’s okay, Nahyuta, I’m sorry for hitting you.” Apollo said. “Besides, Dhurke says no one’s born with bad luck.”

He got up to give Nahyuta a hug, and the moment he did so, he accidentally dropped the teacup in his hand, spilling the scalding liquid all over Dhurke’s bare feet. As he watched Dhurke curse and Nahyuta rush out of the room to grab some ice, Apollo began to realize that maybe Nahyuta’s words held some merit after all.

At eight years old, Apollo was leaving the only home he had ever known.

It was actually Dhurke’s idea; starting a rebellion without getting caught and executed was hard enough, but trying to raise two sons at the same time was damn near impossible. Nahyuta had refused to leave; Khura'in was his home, and he was tied to the land despite everything that had happened. Apollo, however… Dhurke insisted he should leave. He wasn’t his real father, and there was still the mystery of his real mother. While he didn’t know much about Jove or his wife, he knew that they were originally from Los Angeles. There, Apollo could live normally, where he wasn’t surrounded by political corruption and the threat of execution. And maybe he’d be able to find his real family again.

“This isn’t forever, right? You’ll bring me back from America someday, right?”

“Of course,” Dhurke said, ruffling Apollo’s hair, “I’ll come pick you up as soon as things settle down here. Promise.”

Apollo felt his bracelet squeeze him for some reason. He ignored it and just nodded.

“Okay! You promised!”

“Khura’in just isn’t safe for you anymore.” He continued. “But you’ll be safe there, and maybe you’ll be able to find your real mother, okay?”

“Okay.” Apollo replied.

“Good. I’ll see you real soon, son.” Dhurke said.

Once again, Apollo’s bracelet tightened. He had gotten up early for the flight and was exhausted; he was probably just imagining things. He shoved his hand into his pocket and ignored it again. 

Dhurke waved goodbye as Apollo entered the plane and he waved back from his seat by the window until the plane took off and gazing at the scenery far down below him became too nauseating for him. Despite Dhurke’s reassurances, he was terrified. Growing up in Khura’in, Apollo really only knew how to speak English. Most everyone knew it as a second language, but it was rarely used in texts. He hardly knew how to read or write in English and he was sure he had a heavy accent. That, and… he didn’t know anyone in the U.S. Even the friend of Dhurke’s that he’d be staying with, Kah’ren Fore’yuh, he only knew from a couple of phone calls.

“It’ll only be a little while,” he whispered to himself in Khura’inese, “he’ll be back soon, it’ll be okay.”

But he was still terrified of the uncertainty that lay before him, and he wound up crying so much on the flight over that both the ladies in the two seats in his row offered him their pretzels.

When he landed at the airport, he felt drained. He had spent much of the flight over weeping, and it had been impossible for him to fall asleep sitting uncomfortably on the plane. He clutched his bag to him closely. All things considered, he didn’t have much, but it was all he had and he kept it pressed to him as if it were some sort of shield. He looked around nervously. Tons of people he didn’t recognize walked past and all of the signs around him he couldn’t read. He soon began to worry. What if Kah’ren was in a different terminal? What if Apollo had gone to the wrong place? What if he never found him? What if he didn’t show up at all, leaving him truly stranded in this strange, large, unfamiliar country?

However, he calmed substantially when he reached the end of the large, terminal hallway. There were many people standing there, holding up signs for friends and loved ones, joyously hugging them once they were reunited. Among the crowd, Apollo noticed an old man; he stood out from the rest of the group in their jeans and T-shirts as he was wearing traditional Khura’inese garb. Like many of the monks in Khura’in, he was bald; but his face lacked the traditional tattoos and symbols most of the older folk had. In his weathered hands was a large sign; upon it was one of the few English words he knew how to read: Apollo. He straightened his back and headed towards the man, albeit cautiously. He had talked to him a little on the phone, but all things considered he didn’t know much about him aside from his name and that he lived in the United States. Apollo gulped. He really hoped he was nice, and not strict and mean like so many of the monks in Khura’in were.

“Um, excuse me…” Apollo said, as confidently as he could. Unfortunately for him, it came out sounding more like a shout. “Are you Kah’ren Fore’yuh?”

“Ah…” Kah’ren smiled, and knelt down to Apollo’s height. “You must be Apollo, right?” He said it in Khura’inese. Apollo smiled at the familiarity of the language.

“Yes, sir!” Apollo exclaimed loudly.

“Well, it’s great to finally meet you! Dhurke told me all about you, and I must say, your voice is just as loud as he said it’d be.” Apollo wanted to take offense to that, but based on the way he was laughing, he could assume that he meant it in good nature. “Well, Apollo, it must have been a long flight over. Are you hungry?”

“Yeah.” Apollo said, with a nod.

“All right, well, what are you in the mood for?” He took Apollo’s bag and lead him out of the terminal by the hand. Apollo felt a little old to be doing something like that, but in this crowded airport in such an unfamiliar country, he greatly appreciated the gesture. “On my walk over here, there was a place that sold cinnamon rolls.”

“What’s a cinnamon roll?” Apollo asked.

“Oh… right, I suppose they still don’t make those back home, do they? Well they’re really good! They’re… really sweet pastries, with cinnamon filling and frosting on top.”

“Dhurke said not to eat sweets for breakfast.”

“It’s one-thirty in the afternoon.” Kah’ren responded. “Besides, Dhurke isn’t here, is he?”

“I guess not.”

Seeing how he had no other complaints, Kah’ren got him a cinnamon roll with extra frosting on top. He had never tasted something so wonderful before.

Kah’ren drove Apollo to his home as soon as they had finished eating. It was about an hour away by car, but despite how tired Apollo was, he couldn’t sleep the whole time. There was too much to look at! He had never seen the ocean before, and the numerous palm trees were astounding to him. The city was so big, too. Aside from the palace and the large temples, most all of the buildings in Khura’in were two stories, tops. Apollo audibly gasped the first time he saw a skyscraper, and as they drove through the city, he just saw more and more glamorous looking buildings. The U.S. truly was nothing like Khura’in at all.

Kah’ren lived on the outskirts of town, in a small house similar to the cabin Apollo had lived in with Dhurke and Nahyuta. In fact, now that Apollo thought about it, Kah’ren’s place was probably smaller. Not that it mattered much to him. There was still plenty of space to live, and he even got his own room, and through the window he could see the dazzling city lights just a few miles away. The first night there, Apollo slept like a rock. He was exhausted from the long trip over, and had no problem promptly sleeping the night - and part of the next day - away. However, from that day onward, Apollo found himself having a harder and harder time getting used to things. Sleeping at night was difficult. Jet lag aside, he just couldn’t get used to how silent it was at night. Apollo had grown used to getting up at random times in the night, being told to hide, to keep quiet, to prepare to run should anything go wrong. He got used to spending nights hidden away, too scared and too cramped to sleep, gently holding Nahyuta’s hand as the two of them feared for the worst. There was nothing like that here. Occasionally, he could hear sirens in the distance, but that was about it. It was so strange to him, and each night when he went to bed, he found himself laying in bed, unable to sleep, too scared of what might happen to rest. And the few times he did manage to fall asleep, he often woke himself up, dreaming of soldiers outside the window and Dhurke’s shouts to keep quiet and hide.

Finally, about a week and a half after he came to America, Apollo couldn’t take it anymore and got out of bed. Back in Khura’in, when he couldn’t sleep for whatever reason, it helped to talk to Nahyuta or Dhurke. Perhaps Kah’ren would be able to help him?

He found him in the living room, drinking some tea and watching television. He had the volume turned down, likely for Apollo’s sake. He heard the door creak open and smiled at him.

“You’re up late, Apollo. Is something wrong?”

“Well…” Apollo shut the door behind him. “Kah’ren, I-”

“Grandpa.”

“Huh?”

“You should call me Grandpa, Apollo.”

“Why?”

“My name’s a bit hard to pronounce, and lord knows I’m old enough to be your grandpa.” He said. “Besides, we’re family now, right?”

“Uh.” Apollo paused. “I-I guess so.”

“You don’t have to call me that if you don’t want to.” He replied, seeming to notice his hesitance.

“No, it’s fine. It’s just, um…” Apollo sat down beside him. “I’ve never really referred to anyone as my family before.”

“You haven’t? What about Dhurke?”

“Not even him. I always called him by name.”

“That’s odd. I guess he had you do it in respect of your old man.”

“Did you know him?”

“I’m afraid not, Apollo. Dhurke just happened to tell me about your whole situation before you came here. But I’m rambling. What is it you came here for?”

“Oh, right.” Apollo sighed, idly playing with the bracelet on his wrist. “I can’t sleep.”

“Well, Khura’in is worlds away. I’m sure you’ll get used to the time zone soon enough.

“It’s not that. I’m just, um… scared, I guess.” Apollo could already feel his face heating up from embarrassment. What was he, a little kid?

“Scared? Of what?”

Apollo didn’t hear any judgment in his voice, so he continued.

“I’m not really sure. I guess I’m not used to all this? I mean… Back home, we were always in danger. There were always people after us and… we had to hide a lot, and there were tons of nights where I was too worried about something happening to sleep. I know it’s safe here, but I guess I’m still kind of worried something will go wrong.”

There was silence for a moment, where Apollo returned his attention back to his bracelet.

“Hmm… that is quite a sticky situation.” Kah’ren finally responded. “You want to know what I do when I feel upset?”

“What?”

“I just reassure myself that I’m fine. Soon enough, I actually believe it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Repeat after me.” He cleared his throat. “I’m Apollo Justice, and I’m fine.”

“I’m Apollo Justice, and I’m fine.” Apollo repeated.

“You’ll be fine!” He said again, a bit louder this time while clenching his fist.

“I’ll be fine!” Apollo bellowed, copying his gesture. For some reason it brought a smile to his face. “I’ll be fine!”

“Now you’re getting the hang of it!” He laughed. “Do you feel any better?”

“A little.”

“Good! And it that doesn’t work, remember I’ll always be a room away. Don’t ever hesitate if you need me.”

“Okay…!” He really did feel better, but those words saddened him, a bit. Dhurke had said that to him and Nahyuta when they had fallen into the river all those years ago. He missed him, and if they were literally worlds away, Dhurke really couldn’t keep that promise, could he?

“What is it?”

Shoot. He must have noticed.

“It’s nothing! I’m fine!” Apollo quickly got to his feet, and headed back towards the door. “I’m just really tired. I think I’m gonna try to sleep again.”

“Well, all right. Good night, Apollo.”

“Goodnight... Grandpa.” Apollo smiled to himself as he walked down the hall. There was something nice about calling him grandpa. He had never had anyone to call a familial name before. No mom or dad, Dhurke wasn’t his real dad… now that he thought about it, he had never referred to Nahyuta as his brother either, seeing how Nahyuta constantly insisted that they weren't actually related. He kinda liked the feeling of having someone to refer to as his family. As soon as he saw Dhurke again, maybe he’d consider calling him dad.

Apollo was thankful that he arrived in America during the summer; he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he was immediately sent to school. He still hardly knew how to read or write in English, and he didn’t know much about the country he was in, too. During the two months before school, Grandpa helped as best as he could.

Apollo was slowly getting used to his surroundings. While it was a process, he found himself recognizing more and more of the signs when he and Grandpa went out in public. Apollo liked going out in public, actually. It was way different from the rare occasions he and Nahyuta came down from the mountain to do some shopping, or help deliver information to rebels in disguise. They were young, and very few people recognized them as Dhurke’s children, but they always had to be careful. They were never to talk to too many people, they often walked in shadows, and more often than not they had to go to the Defiant Dragon’s base, which was only accessible through the sewers. Here, things were different. He couldn’t count the number of times Grandpa stopped to talk with a friend while the two of them were at the groceries or running errands. Sometimes, they even got to go out for fun. He took Apollo to the playground near their house multiple times, and once they even went to the amusement park together. It was astounding to Apollo, and while the view on the ferris wheel made him a bit queasy and some of the rides were far too intimidating for him to even try, he still had a lot of fun. There was nothing like this in Khura’in. He really enjoyed the carousel, and an intrusive thought in his mind made him wonder if Nahyuta would like it, too.

But Apollo knew he shouldn’t dwell on the past too much. Soon enough, Dhurke would come back, and he would get to see Nahyuta again and tell him all about the things he got to see while he was away. For now, he should just enjoy his time with Grandpa.

He liked him. A lot, actually. It was a little intimidating to live with someone new at first, but he was really nice, and it didn’t take long for Apollo to pick up on calling him grandpa. Referring to him like that really did make him seem like family, and Apollo liked it. He was finally starting to live like a normal kid; being allowed to go out in the sun and play all day, having a nice, safe home to return to, not having to worry about what the next day had in store for him… yes, living here was great. He wasn’t sure why he had been so scared.

However, once school came back in session, it didn’t take long for Apollo to realize he still was far from normal.

The kids at his grade school already mostly knew each other from being in the same class for years, so Apollo already felt like a stranger. It wasn’t like they were mean to him; it was just hard to make new friends when all of them already seemed to be friends with each other. It didn’t help that Apollo had such a thick accent, or sometimes the other kids in his class talked too quickly for him to understand them.

Along with that, his reading and writing skills were still lacking. He found himself accidentally slipping into Khura’inese when he wrote long essays for class, and there were multiple times he took too long on quizzes, simply staring at the text before him in complete confusion as he tried to figure out what the unfamiliar words could possibly mean. At eight, he was perfectly suited to be in third grade in Khura’in… but here he was likely a grade or two behind. He knew that, and was too scared that the teachers would find out and hold him back a year or two if they found out. He refused to ask for help; he was going to live as a normal kid, no matter how much he struggled!

However, the first day he came back home with an F on a test, he nearly cried.

F meant failure. Even he knew that. And as he slowly walked back to his and Grandpa’s house, he couldn’t help but be disappointed in himself. He could overhear his classmates talking about how easy the test had been. Maybe he was just dumb?

“Good afternoon, Apollo,” Grandpa greeted as soon as Apollo walked through the door, “how was school today?”

Apollo noticed that there were already two steaming teacups set on the table before him. It lifted his mood, at least slightly.

“Bad.” Apollo replied, sitting down at the table.

“Oh? What happened?”

Apollo hesitated, his hand curled tightly around the English test with its angry red F in the top right corner. He had never brought home a failing grade before. What if he got mad?

“Grandpa…” Apollo asked nervously. “Do you think I’m stupid?”

“What?” He looked offended at the very notion. “Did someone tell you that? Is someone picking on you?”

“No, nothing like that.” Apollo sighed, and finally placed the test on the table before him. He quickly picked up his tea and drank it, looking anywhere but at Grandpa.

“Hmm…” He mumbled, reading the test intently. “Apollo, most of these are blank.”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“I… don’t know a lot of the words.”

“Apollo, if you were struggling so much, why didn’t you ask me?”

“I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You’re not bothering me. And you’re not stupid, all right? You’re just a little behind. In fact,” he said, clapping a hand on Apollo’s shoulder, “you’re not even behind. The fact that you can speak two languages already puts you way ahead of most of your classmates. That takes real smarts.”

“I-I guess.” That brought a smile to Apollo’s face.

“But lord knows learning to read a new language isn’t easy. I was just a foreigner here once too, you know. If you want, I can help teach you how to read.”

“You’ll do that for me?”

“Of course! I’m going to make sure you get an A on in English, even if it’s the last thing I do!”

True to his word, Grandpa bought a bunch of books the very next day to help teach Apollo with. He felt very childish reading fairytales and storybooks at his age, but he had to admit they were good practice, and he couldn’t remember the last time he had read stories with someone. In recent years, Dhurke was often too busy to sit down and read a book to him and Nahyuta. There was something refreshing about sitting with Grandpa, following his finger along the text on the page as he slowly got the hang of recognizing the individual characters.

It could be difficult at times, but Apollo was able to get through school with enough hard work, determination, and of course some extra tutoring on the side from Grandpa. As the months melted into years, Apollo became proud of all that he had learned. By the time he was nine years old, he could recognize most all of the signs and the labels on the packaging when he went to the groceries. Reading books for book reports took a bit longer for him than some of the other students, but at the very least he could understand what the book was telling him by the time he was ten. 

With each passing year, he began to feel more and more normal. Being able to understand the words and sights all around him, being able to play outside with friends, being able to sleep at night without worrying about something bad happening, having someone to call family and a place to call home… yes, this is what normality felt like. He was enjoying it greatly, but he couldn’t help but worry for Nahyuta and Dhurke’s sake, anyways. Were the two of them all right? Would either of them ever be able to experience a normal life like the one he was living here? He seriously hoped so. But he wished he could know for sure. He had written Dhurke and Nahyuta on a near biweekly basis since he had arrived in America, but he hadn’t gotten a single response. It… probably had to do with the fact that they were perpetually busy and on the run. At least that’s what Grandpa had told him, and he wanted to believe that, despite the nagging feeling in his stomach and the tightening of his bracelet.

However, all this normality made him feel all the more abnormal when, near the end of sixth grade, he received one of the final writing assignments for the year. The prompt read: Where do you see yourself in fifteen years? Now that you’re about to graduate elementary school, it’s time to start thinking about your future! What profession do you foresee yourself having? Will you be living in Los Angeles, or do you plan on moving somewhere else? In a one to two paragraphs, describe your ideal future!

Apollo reread the prompt over and over again. He knew what it was asking him, but he had no idea how to respond. Until he had moved in with Grandpa nearly three years ago, his life and his future had been uncertain. It was hard to think about what job he’d want to have when he wasn’t even sure if he would live that long under Ga’ran’s regime. Now that he was in America, living a seemingly normal life, it was more feasible to be thinking about a possible career. But what in the world would he do?

By the time the bell rang to dismiss class, he hadn’t written a single word down and would have to do it as homework.

“Hey, Grandpa?” Apollo asked, once he arrived home and took his backpack off.

“Yes, Apollo?” Grandpa replied from his spot at the table. As usual, he had prepared tea for the two of them. Back in Khura’in, Apollo wasn’t a big fan of the tea Dhurke usually made. Grandpa put sugar in his, and it was way better that way.

“What was your job back in Khura’in?”

“Oh. I was a lawyer, just like a Dhurke.”

“You were?!” Apollo exclaimed.

“Yes. That’s how I met him, in fact.”

“Then… then how come you’re still alive?”

“Oh, Apollo.” He chuckled. “The DC Act wasn’t enacted until years after I had retired and moved here.”

“Oh. Well, how come you didn’t come back to join the Dragons with Dhurke? You’re friends with him, right?”

“I am, but…” He sighed. “I agree that the DC Act and everything Ga’ran is doing is despicable. But I’m far too old to be of any help in a revolution. It would take me a week tops to get arrested with the shape my knees are in.”

Apollo wanted to argue, but he knew he was probably right. Apollo had met quite a few members of the Defiant Dragons when he was growing up, and he noticed a vast majority of them were young and in good health like Datz or Dhurke. The older ones who weren’t usually had airtight religious personas so they didn’t have any suspicion cast upon them. Grandpa was neither of those things. And if a retired lawyer moved back to Khura’in out of the blue, it would certainly look suspicious. Plus, he did have really bad knees. Around the time Apollo turned nine, he had started using a cane. Apollo worried it was his fault, but Grandpa just told him that his being eighty-three was to blame.

“I guess that makes sense.” Apollo said, taking a sip of his tea.

“What brings up the subject of jobs, anyways?”

“For school I have to write a paper on what I wanna be when I grow up.” Apollo replied. “I got nothing.”

“You don’t have any ideas at all?”

“Not really. Nahyuta always said he was gonna work in law like Dhurke did and help fix everything. It made me wonder if I should follow in my real parents’ footsteps too.”

“What did your parents do?”

“I’m not sure. Dhurke said my dad was a musician. He doesn’t know what my mom did, though. Maybe she was a performer too.”

“Do you want to do that?”

“Not really. Singing in front of people makes me nervous.”

“That’s not the only form of performance, you know.”

“Well, I guess I am getting the hang of the recorder.”

“…Did you have any other ideas?”

“Not really. I guess being a lawyer could be cool, but if I did that Nahyuta would probably say I’m copying him.”

“Well, with how few lawyers are left in Khura’in, I’d say we could use a few copies.”

“Hmm…” Apollo replied, tapping his pencil against the still blank paper. “What’s it take to be a lawyer?”

“Well, for one,” Grandpa started, “you have to be loud, so you’ll fit right in. In my experience, the judge is always some old geezer like me. Best to make sure you’ve been heard.”

“What else?”

“You have to be a bit stubborn. Being a lawyer is essentially being paid to argue with someone. The prosecution will try their hardest to prove their way, but if you know your client’s innocent, you have to keep going.”

Apollo jotted some of that down.

“That being said, you shouldn’t focus on winning like it’s a game or competition or something. What matters most of all is the truth.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… sometimes things will go differently than planned. Sometimes people you think are innocent aren’t and people the prosecution believes to be guilty are innocent. What matters most is making sure the truth of the case comes out, regardless of who was ultimately right. The prosecution isn’t your enemy, even if they seem like it sometimes.”

“Do you think I’d be good at it?”

“Hmm…” Grandpa paused and gazed at Apollo for a moment. “Yes, I believe so. You’re very passionate, Apollo. You seem to fight for what’s right. I think with enough time and training, you could be a great lawyer.”

“Lawyer it is, then!” Apollo exclaimed.

“No, no, wait. Only write that down if that’s truly what you want to do. Take it all with a grain of salt.”

“Why?”

“Because when I was your age, I wanted to be a marine biologist. Things change sometimes.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

For now, Apollo went with lawyer. The prompt said to write about his ideal future and for now, that did seem like the most ideal job for him. He was eleven years old now, almost twelve. Fifteen years from now… that would make him just around twenty-six or twenty-seven. By then, he would surely be back in Khura’in with Dhurke and Nahyuta. Maybe by then Ga’ran’s regime will have ended. Nahyuta will be a prosecutor, and Dhurke will be able to be a lawyer again, and if Apollo were to become one too, then maybe both of them could work on cases together. That’d be a lot of fun. Maybe he could convince Grandpa to move back to Khura’in with them. If things were as bad as Dhurke had told him, then they could use some more good lawyers. And even if he didn’t want to return to work, Apollo hoped he’d come along. He was family too, just like Dhurke and Nahyuta were. In fifteen years, when he was twenty-seven, Apollo decided that he would be a lawyer. He’d work side by side with Dhurke and Nahyuta, Grandpa would live with them too, and maybe he’d finally find his real mom and all of them could live together as a big, real family. He’d like that.

A few days later, he turned the paper in confident of the future it promised. He also turned it in with his and Grandpa’s address, so in fifteen years time it’d be sent back to him as a time capsule of sorts. He couldn’t wait for the sunny future he had planned.

Summer rolled around and Apollo graduated grade school. Well… calling it graduation was a bit of an overstatement. It really wasn’t that great of a feat, and while there was a party with cupcakes and soda for the sixth grade class, it didn’t hold as much grandeur as Apollo was sure graduating high school or college did. But regardless, he was happy. He had managed to scrape by despite his initial illiteracy with English, and he never once had been held back. He was proud of himself, and ready for whatever middle school would throw at him. No matter what, he’d be fine.

Finally, the moment of reckoning came. His teacher handed everyone an envelope: the final report card of elementary school. Apollo was nervous; while he had managed to stay afloat grade-wise, he still hadn’t fulfilled Grandpa’s promise of getting an A in English. Sure, he still had time considering middle school onwards… but he really wanted to reach that goal sooner rather than later.

He took a deep breath when the envelope was placed on the desk before him. Slowly, he opened it and unfolded the single slip of paper.

Social Studies/History: B+

He liked history. It was easy and more about memorization than anything else. Besides, U.S. history was actually based on historical events while history in Khura’in was based solely on their religious texts. He liked this one better.

Art: A

Music: A+

P.E.: B-

Music came to him naturally, even if he was a bit shy when it came to performing. He wondered if it had anything to do with his parents both being performers. Art was easy, too. Mostly because it was coloring and painting; messy but fun to work with. P.E. was… all right. It was kind of hard to fail a class based on running and playing kickball, but Apollo supposed he got overtired and found excuses to ditch a little too often.

Math: C+

Numbers seemed to be universal but that didn’t make them any easier. Apollo didn’t feel too bad; Grandpa said he was really bad at math, too.

English Comprehension/Literature: A

Apollo gasped at the sight of that single letter. Had he… had he really done it? Three years of struggling, staying up late with Grandpa as he read the same books over and over again, four years of being nervous with every book report and essay assignment had all lead up to this very moment. He grinned ear to ear as he quickly stuffed the paper back into the envelope and headed out the door. He usually grew tired quickly from running but today he couldn’t help it and ran all the way home. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Grandpa's face when he saw that A that he had finally, painstakingly gotten in English.

When he arrived home, the first thing he noticed was the high-pitched sound of the kettle on the stove. That was unusual. By the time Apollo got home, usually Grandpa had long since finished making tea and was sitting by the table, idly watching some daytime television. Apollo took off his shoes and put them down by the door. All the while, the screeching of the kettle remained consistent.

“Grandpa?” Apollo called out. “Grandpa, I’m home!” He heard no response. Huh. Maybe he had gone to the bathroom or something while making tea? He decided to investigate. Grandpa had always told him he wasn’t allowed to go near the stove, but he was eleven years old now. He was plenty grown up! Besides, that noise was really starting to get to him.

Apollo headed to the kitchen where inside, he found two teacups set up on the counter, and the kettle was screaming on the stove, as expected. What he hadn’t expected was to see was Grandpa, unmoving, collapsed on the ground before the stove.

“Grandpa!” Apollo shouted, tossing his bag to the side and rushing over to him. “Grandpa, what’s wrong?” He rolled him over so he was on his back and shook him desperately, but to no avail. He didn’t open his eyes. Apollo began to panic, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. What was happening? What was going on? Sure, Grandpa had started walking slower and was in need of a cane in recent years, but... he wasn’t that old or ill was he? Apollo finally got up and picked up the phone in the living room, calling 911 as quickly as he could. He couldn’t just sit around and cry; he had to do something to help! He had to!

The next hour or so flew by in a blur. An ambulance came by pretty quickly after Apollo called, and he and Grandpa were swiftly taken to the hospital. Some doctors questioned him on array of things. What was his relation to the patient? Did he notice any difference in his health recently? Did he have a history of health conditions? Despite living with Grandpa for three years, Apollo didn’t know the answer to most of these questions. All he knew for sure was that he was scared out of his wits while he waited alone in the hospital waiting room.

After what felt like ages, a doctor approached him. Despite her smile, Apollo’s bracelet tightened just at the sight of her.

“Hello, you’re Mr. Fore’yuh, right?” She asked.

“No.” Apollo replied. “My last name’s Justice.”

“Okay, Mr. Justice, Mr. Kah’ren Fore’yuh is your grandpa, right?”

“Yup!” Apollo exclaimed, smiling at that. “How is he? Can I see him now?”

“Mr. Justice, where are your parents?”

“Why?”

“Well…” She sighed, gently placing her hand on his shoulder. “Your grandpa suffered from a stroke, and if he’s not able to take care of you anymore, then we’ll need to find someone else…”

“Stroke?” Apollo asked. “That’s not that bad. I had that once when I was seven! I just coughed a lot and my throat really hurt for a while. I took some medicine and was fine in no time!”

“Sweetie, you’re thinking of strep. That’s not the same thing.”

“Oh. Well… he’ll be fine, right?”

“I’m not going to lie to you; we’re not sure right now. So please, Mr. Justice, do you have any family members that I can contact?”

“Um…” Apollo shook his head sadly. “No.”

“What happened to your parents?”

“My dad’s dead. I dunno where my mom is; I’ve never met her.”

“Oh…” Even she looked greatly saddened by this. “Do you have anyone else… at all?”

Apollo thought for a moment, but he couldn’t think of anyone. He had a couple of acquaintances at school, but none of them he was close enough with to just… move in with. Besides, he didn’t know any of their parents’ phone numbers. His thoughts then popped to Dhurke and Nahyuta, but… how in the world would he manage to go back to them? For all he knew, Dhurke was still a wanted terrorist in Khura’in. There was no way the hospital could just call someone like that and ask him to come pick Apollo up.

Thick tears began rolling down Apollo’s cheeks as he realized that he truly had no one.

“It’s all right, sweetie.” The doctor replied, pulling a pack of tissues out of her pocket and handing them to him. “If you can’t think of anything we’ll figure something out, okay?”

Apollo just nodded, hastily wiping his eyes with the tissues.

“I’ll come get you as soon as anything’s changed, all right? For now…” She pointed down the hall. “If you go down the hall, then a bit a ways to the left, you’ll find the cafeteria. If you tell the nice lady working there that Violet sent you, she’ll give you a hot chocolate, on me. Would that make you feel a bit better?”

Apollo just nodded again.

“Okay. I’ll see you soon, Mr. Justice.”

As promised, the lady at the cafeteria gave him a hot chocolate. It was sweet and warm and it helped calm his nerves, at least a little. By the time he returned to the waiting room, the doctor, Violet, was waiting for him, the gentle smile on her face never faltering. She led Apollo to Grandpa’s room, where she told him that he could stay for now. Apollo pulled up a chair beside Grandpa’s bed and, for a moment, he just stared at him. Grandpa looked… bad. He looked like the actors in hospital dramas that Apollo would find him watching some days. They were always unconscious in bed, connected to all sorts of beeping machines and wires while their loved ones wept over them. In those dramas, a miracle always happened. After crying hard and holding their hand for a while, the sick person would miraculously open their eyes and be fine. It… always seemed to work in those cheesy T.V. shows. Maybe it’d work now?

“H-hey, Grandpa…” Apollo muttered. No response, of course. But he wasn’t really expecting one. The comatose person never spoke until the moment was just right. “Um… I hope you’re feeling okay.”

He couldn’t really think of anything else to say. The weepy actors always made it look so natural on T.V. But Apollo didn’t feel like making any drawn out speeches. He was just scared, and upset, and very, very tired. He moved his chair a little closer, and grabbed ahold of Grandpa’s hand. It was really cold, but Apollo didn’t let go. He rested his head on the mattress and shut his weary eyes.

“Don’t leave, okay?”

Apollo wasn’t sure how long he was asleep, but by the time he woke up the sun was just barely rising and the room was silent. Apollo knew that to be a bad sign. There was supposed to be beeping, right? That was the surefire sign that he was alive, right? Before Apollo had the chance to investigate, he heard people talking and squeezed his eyes shut, pretending he was still asleep.

“Time of death,” he recognized the voice to be the doctor from earlier, “approximately five-thirty am.”

Apollo bit his lip hard to stifle a gasp but continued listening, even as tears threatened to fall.

“If only he had been found just a few minutes earlier…” A voice Apollo didn’t recognize replied. Whoever it was, their voice sounded much younger. “Doctor, what should we do about the boy? Why is he even in here?”

“I talked to him last night; he doesn’t have anywhere else to go. It seemed the patient was his sole caretaker… He wanted to see him, and I couldn’t just kick him out.”

“Poor thing…”

“Yes…” He heard footsteps approaching, and the doctor’s voice grew louder. Apollo held his breath, scared of what they’d do if they knew he was eavesdropping. Instead, he felt a blanket being draped over his shoulders. “We’ll let him rest for now and move the patient out. This isn’t something he should have to wake up to. After he’s awake, we’ll call social services and see if we can find something for him.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Apollo remained still as he felt movement around him, but he couldn’t help but let out a whimper when Grandpa’s cold, lifeless hand was pulled from his own. Thankfully, the nurse and the doctor didn’t hear him, and soon enough he finally found himself alone.

He finally opened his eyes and sat up, ignoring the pain in his lower back from sleeping like that. He gazed at the empty bed before him. He knew it was going to be empty. He knew it, and yet he couldn’t ignore the overwhelming twist in his stomach and finally he began to sob into his hands.

Why? Why in the world was this happening? Grandpa had been the most stable thing in his life. With him around he knew to expect a nice warm home to return to each day, a friendly face that would hold his hand and take him to the park on sunny afternoons, a patient man who would sit with him and gladly reread the section of the book that had confused Apollo. And he always knew that after a long day at school, he’d find Grandpa sitting at the small table in the living room, with two cups of nice warm tea already set up for the both of them.

So, why? Why was he gone now? It didn’t make any sense. How could someone so consistent, so stable, so reassuring be erased in a single instant like this? There must have been something that could’ve been changed, something that could’ve changed this…

Apollo let out a shuddering breath when he realized that there was. Just moments ago, the nurse had said it herself: If only he had been found just a few minutes earlier… He felt a sudden wave a guilt pass over him at that thought. This was… this was his fault, wasn’t it? Why hadn’t he rushed home quicker? Why had he wasted his time taking his shoes off when he had gotten home? Why did he take so long entering the kitchen? Why hadn’t he called 911 immediately instead of just sitting there, fruitlessly shaking him like some pathetic child?

In the back of his mind, he suddenly remembered something he hadn't thought about in a long, long time. He could perfectly hear Nahyuta's accusing voice from all those years ago.

You’re bad luck! Nothing good ever happens when you’re around!

Dhurke had been full of it when he had assured him that there was no such thing as an unlucky person. This was all his fault. There were so many opportunities in which he could have saved Grandpa… but he hadn’t. If that didn’t validate Nahyuta’s words, then what did?

“I’m bad luck…” Apollo muttered to himself, his voice barely above a whisper. ”Nothing good ever happens… when I’m around.” He thought of Grandpa; kind, friendly and dependable, who could have been so easily saved. He wondered how long he had been on that floor, collapsed as the teakettle screeched above him, desperately waiting for help that would come far too late.

His stream of depressing thought was interrupted when the door opened and the doctor walked in once more. She smiled sadly at Apollo once she noticed he was awake.

“Good morning, Mr. Justice.” She said sweetly. “How are you feeling?”

“Bad.” He replied, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “Grandpa’s gone, isn’t he?”

“I’m afraid he is, sweetie.”

Apollo wasn’t sure why he had asked; he already knew what the truth was. But he couldn’t help but tear up a bit at her response.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Justice. This must be horrible for you.” She said, pulling yet another pack of tissues out of her pocket for him. Apollo wondered just how many of those the staff here had on hand. “But I’m sure your grandpa would want to make sure that you’re in good hands. Can you come with me?”

Apollo just nodded, and stood up to follow her. He had been crying long enough and honestly, she was right. Grandpa probably wouldn’t want him to sit in one spot crying all day. Violet put her arm around his shoulder and lead him down a long, sterile hospital hallway.

“Where are we going?” Apollo finally asked.

“I’ve called Social Services to come down and meet with you. Since you have no other legal guardians at the moment, they’ll surely find a place for you.”

Apollo knew she was trying to be reassuring, but he still felt very nervous.

“Does that mean I’ll be put in an orphanage?”

“I think that’s a last resort. They will probably try to find some sort of relative – maybe someone you hadn’t even thought of – first. Besides, I’m sure foster care isn’t as horrible as what storybooks about orphanages make you think.”

Maybe she was right, Apollo thought. But the thought still scared him. Where would he go? He didn’t really want to move someplace new and leave everything behind… again. And what would happen if he was adopted? Where would he be taken if that happened? And how in the world would Dhurke manage to find him then?

“Doctor, before I meet them, can I go to the bathroom?”

“Of course. It’s just a few doors down. I’ll wait for you outside.”

Apollo was relieved that the bathroom had a window in it. Otherwise, he wasn’t sure how he’d escape. The window was very small and very high up, but thankfully when he stood on the back of the toilet, he could reach it. He opened the window and while it was a bit of a tight fit, he managed to wriggle his way through out onto the bushes below. He was thankful that they had been on the first floor; any higher and he might’ve been too scared to go through with it. He got up and brushed the leaves off of his clothes, took a deep breath…

And then he ran.

He ran and ran and kept running even when his throat grew hoarse and his legs began to ache and his back was coated in sweat. He kept running and running, hoping he remembered enough of the landmarks on the ambulance ride over to remember his way home. After what felt like hours of running, he finally found some familiar sights: the grocery store he and Grandpa usually stopped at, the playground they’d visit, Apollo’s elementary school… or should he say, old elementary school… yes, he was getting close, and once he ran up the grassy hill that lead to his and Grandpa’s house, he finally slowed down, allowing himself to catch his breath.

He opened the door; it had been left unlocked during the commotion just about a day ago. When Apollo stepped into the living room he collapsed, nearly hacking up a lung at how hard and how long he had been running. He… was home. Finally, he was home. He wasn’t going to let anyone take him away. He wasn’t going to let himself get stuck in some random orphanage, waiting his days away for some random strangers to pick him out and take him someplace else. This was his home. This was his and Grandpa’s home, and it was where Dhurke knew to find him.

“Dhurke…” Apollo choked out, his voice hoarse and weak. “I’m not leaving… I’ll stay right here, so you can find me, okay…?”

Apollo rolled over onto his back when he felt something crinkle below him. He reached behind him and picked it up curiously: it was his report card from the day before. When he had thrown his bag down yesterday in a panic, its contents had spread all over the floor. His eyes immediately darted to the A printed next to English. Yesterday, it had brought him so much joy and pride; it was a sign that he could do anything he set his mind to. But today, he could hardly stand to look at it. He couldn’t help but think about the promise Grandpa had made all those years ago, that he’d see Apollo get an A in English, even if it was the last thing he did. Apollo had been so eager to show him, to make that promise come true, but then…

Apollo crumpled the paper in his fist, and threw it as far away from him as he could.

At twelve years old, Apollo was perpetually hungry.

He supposed it couldn’t be helped. He was essentially living on his own now, and a twelve year old in middle school couldn’t just get a job or anything like that. But he’d get by. He was twelve years old now; it had been about half a year since Grandpa died, and nearly four years since Dhurke had sent him here. Surely, Dhurke had heard about what happened somehow. He and Grandpa had been friends, right? Apollo had even written him a letter telling him what had happened. Like all the letters he had sent, he didn’t get a response… that must be because Dhurke was so often on the run, right? Surely he had read it and was working his hardest to find a way to bring Apollo home. He was certain of it. At the very least, that thought as well as repeating the mantra of telling himself that he was fine helped him get through the dark nights after the electricity was cut off.

Living here alone without anyone to take care of him wasn’t easy, but he managed to make do. If there was anything Dhurke had taught him during the eight years they had lived together, it was how to lay low. About a day after running off from the hospital, some people came to Grandpa’s house. He wasn’t sure who it was, but he was sure it had something to do with his disappearance at the hospital. Maybe it was the police, or some social service members like the doctor had called. Whoever it was, Apollo made sure they never found him. Living with Dhurke had made him a master at keeping hidden, and his small stature certainly helped. After about a week, whoever it was stopped coming back to search, and his house was silent again.

Things got a bit easier once school started. Because at least then, he had somewhere to go all day. Thankfully, Grandpa had enrolled him in middle school a few weeks before his death, so all he had to do was show up and hope his supplies lasted for the two years he’d be there. Thankfully the school provided free lunches. Dinner, too, if he asked the lunch lady nicely at the end of the day if there were any leftovers. One look at Apollo’s bony hands and stunted height was enough to know that he needed the extra help. She even voiced her concerns to him multiple times, but he just lied and said that his family was really broke. If she knew the truth, he’d probably be sent away to a foster home soon enough and he couldn’t have that. As enticing as it was to go somewhere in which his next meal was guaranteed, he knew he couldn’t leave. Dhurke would be coming for him any day now; how in the world would he find him if he left? He’d deal with how hungry he was and how cold it could be in the empty house for now; after all, he knew that it was only a matter of time until Dhurke showed up.

It had to be.

One night, about a month before winter break was to begin, Apollo was at school very, very late. He didn’t have a choice; an essay was due in a few days, and Grandpa didn’t have a computer. Even if he did, there was no electricity after it had been shut off a few months back, and the teachers were only accepting it typed and double-spaced. Thankfully, he had finished it in the nick of time. It was a little past nine o’clock, long after nightfall, and he knew from experience that if the janitors caught him hanging around he’d get in trouble. He tucked the essay into his bag, ignored his aching stomach, and then headed outside into the courtyard.

However, he soon found he wasn’t alone. Usually this late at night, the school grounds were deserted. But sitting alone on a bench in the middle of the chilly courtyard was another student. Based on the fact that they were still wearing their uniform, he could assume that they had never left. Upon closer inspection, he recognized this kid: it was his classmate, Clay Terran. The two hadn’t spoken much aside from brief greetings in passing, but he seemed nice enough. Apollo immediately grew concerned when, as he drew nearer, he realized Clay was crying. No, not just crying, he was sobbing, his face buried in his hands as his body trembled.

“Mom…” Clay wept, his usually booming voice eerily soft as he cried. “Mom…”

Oh, that’s right. Apollo remembered hearing about this through his other classmate’s gossiping. About a week ago, Clay’s mom had died in a car accident. That’s why he had missed class a couple times. However, when he came back, he seemed just as loud and chipper as ever. A couple of the kids started rumors about him because of it; after all, why was Clay so happy when his own mother had just died? What kind of heartless freak was he? As Apollo gazed at Clay weeping before him, he had the sudden desire to punch all those kids in the face. Clay was clearly acting happy because he didn’t want to bother anyone; how in the world could they call him heartless?

Apollo approached him quietly, but when a dead leaf crunched beneath his foot, Clay finally looked up, a glare on his face as he quickly wiped his still-flowing tears away.

“Go away, Apollo!” He shouted. “Don’t come over here!” Despite his angry façade, he did little to stop Apollo from drawing nearer, and he couldn’t stop himself from crying, either. Apollo sat down beside him, feeling a tad bit awkward. Now that he thought about it, aside from Nahyuta, he had never really been around someone who was upset before. And usually when Nahyuta was upset, Dhurke was there to cheer him up and did a way better job than he ever could. But… he had to do something! He may not know Clay that well, but he felt horrible watching him cry like this.

“Clay, listen to me.” Apollo said gently. “I don’t have a mother, either…”

“Huh?” That seemed to stir something in him, and Clay looked up at him curiously.

“I always think… everybody else has a mom. So why am I the only one…?” He sighed. He tried not to think about his mother if he could avoid it, but sometimes he had no choice. After coming to the U.S. he had sat through countless occasions in which his class made mother’s day cards and he was the only one not doing anything, and back in Khura’in a small, a petty part of him couldn’t help but be jealous when Nahyuta cried over his lost mother. After all, at least he had a mother to lose.

Another choked sob from Clay tore him from his thoughts. Dwelling on what he was missing likely wouldn’t do much to cheer Clay up. Apollo tried to think… when he was sad or scared about something, what made him feel better? He remembered that time when he was eight, and too scared to sleep after moving to the U.S.… god, it felt so long ago now. But that night, Grandpa had smiled at him, and told him that when he was feeling down, all he had to do was…

“But you know, when I start to feel that way, I yell at the top of my lungs.” Apollo continued, mustering a confident grin for Clay’s sake. “I holler ‘I’m fine!’ and then, you know what? I start to feel like maybe I really will be fine.”

Clay said nothing, but he wasn’t telling Apollo to leave, either, so he assumed this was working.

“Apollo Justice is fine!” He bellowed, squeezing his hands into fists. “…Okay, Clay. Now it’s your turn.”

“Um, okay…” Clay mumbled in response. He sat up straighter and wiped his eyes once more. “Clay Terran is… is fine!”

“There you go! Now we’re both fine!” Apollo laughed.

“We’re fine!” Clay chuckled through his tears. “We’re fine!”

“What are you laughing about?” Apollo asked, despite laughing himself. Still, it was nice to see Clay finally smiling. “See? We’re fine!”

“You laughed first!” Clay replied, though the smile on his face remained consistent. “I’m fine! You’re fine! We’re both fine!”

Clay laughed through his tears and Apollo laughed with him, until they found themselves laughing at their own laughter and soon enough Clay’s sobs subsided entirely and all that was left was laughter. As soon as they finally settled down, Clay straightened his back and wiped his eyes for the last time.

“Thanks, Apollo.” He finally said.

“Huh? Oh, it’s no biggie!” Apollo replied.

“Really, I mean it.” Clay said. “I… really needed that.”

“Well… I’m just happy to help.”

There was silence for a moment. Clay rolled his head back, gazing up at the sky. It was almost December yet it was clear tonight, allowing a perfect view of the gorgeous, starry sky above them.

“They’re beautiful, don’t you think?” Clay asked.

“What, the stars?” Apollo replied. “I guess so.” Honestly he didn’t care either way about the stars right now; he was more focused on how cold it was despite the clear weather.

“My mom really liked astronomy. I do too.” He said with a sigh. “I’m gonna be an astronaut one day.”

Apollo knew this already. If there was anything everyone seemed to know about Clay Terran, it was that he never grew out of his “I’m-gonna-be-an-astronaut” phase and found any excuse to talk about it.

“What about you?”

“What about me?” Apollo replied.

“Like… what are you gonna do when you grow up?”

“Oh.” Honestly, Apollo hadn’t thought about that in awhile. The past few months he had been so busy focusing on getting through the day at hand that he hadn’t really thought about what he’d be doing in the future anymore. He remembered the letter he had written for his sixth grade writing assignment for his ideal future. He said he’d be back in Khura’in, and that he’d be living there with Dhurke and Nahyuta again like old times. He’d be a lawyer, and serve side by side with them… and Grandpa would live with them too, like some big happy family. He sighed when he realized how quickly an ideal future could be shattered.

“Apollo?”

“Oh! Sorry! I was just… zoning out.” Apollo replied hastily. “Um… I guess I’m gonna be a lawyer?”

“What do you mean ‘I guess’? If you have a dream you need to stick to it, right?”

“I guess…” He repeated, much to the annoyance of Clay. “I mean- I’m just worried that I won’t have what it takes.”

“Of course you have what it takes!” Clay exclaimed.

“You think so? Do you know anything about being a lawyer?”

“Well… no. But I do know that you can do anything as long as you work hard and don’t give up. If it’ll work for me being an astronaut, then it’ll work for you being a lawyer.”

“That makes sense.” Clay was going to say something else when he noticed Apollo shivering.

“I guess it’s a bit cold. Jeez, how late is it right now?”

“Last time I checked, a little past nine.” Apollo replied. “I’m guessing that was half an hour ago at least.”

“Whoops.” Clay paused. “Say, Apollo, what are you doing out this late anyways?”

“Oh… I was writing the essay for Thursday.”

“Right… I need to start on that. Wait, why were you writing it here? In the middle of the night?”

“Grandpa doesn’t own a computer.”

“You live with your grandpa?”

“Yeah.” He quickly changed the subject. “Clay, what are you doing out here so late?”

“Um…” Clay looked visibly saddened by this. “I… wasn’t really ready to come home today. We’ve had relatives over since my mom… y’know. But tonight will be the first time I have to come home and it’s only me and dad.”

At least you have a dad, Apollo thought bitterly.

“I’m sorry.” He said, silently berating himself for that petty thought.

“It’s okay. I feel a lot better now.” Clay said, standing up and stretching. “And my dad must be super worried about me.”

“Ok. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Apollo turned to leave, but before he could, Clay quickly reached out and grabbed ahold of his wrist.

“Wait, don’t go yet!” He exclaimed. “Come home with me.”

“Why?”

“Well... I mean… I probably owe you a hot cocoa, right?”

Apollo couldn’t help but notice his bracelet mysteriously tightening, and the way that Clay started fidgeting with his visor when he said that.

“Clay…” Apollo smirked. “You’re not afraid of walking alone in the dark, are you?”

“N-no!!” Clay shouted, a sure fire sign he had hit a bulls eye. “I mean… it’s safer together anyways, isn’t it? Aren’t you scared walking alone too?”

He couldn’t deny that it was a bit scary, even if Grandpa’s house was only about a five-minute walk away from school.

“I guess you’re right. Sure, I’ll come with you.”

The two of them walked to Clay’s apartment together, their voices carrying in the empty, dark streets. He lived in a large apartment complex about fifteen minutes away from school. Most all the apartments had their lights out, making Apollo wonder how late it really was. Not that it mattered, of course; it wasn’t like he had anyone waiting up on him. Clay’s apartment was on the third floor, and it was one of the few apartments that had a light on. Clay pulled the key out of his bag, and let himself in.

“Dad, I’m home!” Clay shouted, once he entered the apartment. Clay bent over and took his shoes off while Apollo stood awkwardly in the foyer. “Well, don’t just stand there. Come in already!”

“But shouldn’t I…”

He trailed off at the sound of footsteps approaching them. A large man – just a bit smaller than Dhurke, Apollo noticed – approached them. Like Clay, he had thick, fluffy black hair, and he looked positively worried.

“Clay!” He demanded. His voice was booming, too. Apollo supposed he knew where Clay got it now. “Where in the world have you been? Do you know what time it is?!”

“Sorry, Dad.” Clay replied.

“I was so worried about you! What have you been up to? How come you didn't pick up any of my calls? What happened?”

“Well, dad, I… Um…” Clay hesitated. Apollo could assume that saying he was out all night crying wasn’t a good enough reason to come home over five hours after school had ended.

“He was helping me, sir!” Apollo interjected. Both Clay and his father turned their attention to him. Apollo wasn’t sure if his dad had even noticed him up until now. “We… we were working on a project at my house together. I didn’t realize how long we were taking… I’m sorry!”

“A project? What was it on?”

“Space!” Apollo said.

“Lawyers!” Clay said at the same time.

They looked at each other.

“Space lawyers.” Apollo finally determined. “We have to write about our ideal job. We couldn’t decide, so we mashed our favorites together.”

“Huh.” Clay’s father said. He looked a little skeptical, but he smiled anyways. “That sounds very interesting, boys. But you shouldn’t be out this late.”

“I know, sir.”

“Sorry, dad.”

“It’s all right. Just call me next time you’re at someone’s house, okay? …What’s your name anyways? I don’t think I’ve met you before.”

“Oh, r-right.” Clay stammered. “Dad, this is Apollo Justice. He’s my…” The word classmate was on the tip of his tongue, and Apollo knew it too, but he decided against it. “Friend.”

“Well, Apollo, it’s nice to meet you.” He held his hand out for Apollo to shake, and he did so. “Yikes, your hand is cold as ice! Did you boys walk here?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you have a ride home?”

“No. M-my Grandpa doesn’t drive.” Apollo quickly lied. “I’ll walk back, it’s no big-”

“Apollo, I can’t in good conscious let a twelve year old walk home at…” He checked his watch. “God, it’s nearly ten.”

“But-”

“If your folks can’t give you a ride home, call them and tell them you’ll be staying the night here, all right? It’s about time for you kids to head to bed anyways.”

Apollo wanted to argue and go. He… had never slept at anyone else’s house before. He had never really been close enough to anyone his age to have a sleepover. And despite how nice Clay’s dad was thus far, he was still wary around adults. What if he found out about the situation he was in? But… he couldn’t deny that this nice, warm apartment was much more inviting than walking home in the cold and dark, only to huddle himself under as many comforters he could find in his now empty home.

“Okay.”

Apollo fake called his home while Clay set up a futon in his bedroom. He also leant him a large T-shirt and some shorts for pajamas. They were a little too big on him, but Apollo supposed that was better than the other way around. The moment Apollo laid down on the futon, he almost immediately fell asleep. Even if it was just a futon hastily placed on the floor of Clay’s bedroom, it was really soft and warm, too. It was always so cold in Grandpa’s house recently. It was cozy like this. He laid back and gazed at the faint glow in the plastic stars that Clay had placed on his ceiling and realized he couldn’t remember the last time he had gone to bed feeling so warm and comfortable.

“Apollo?” Clay said abruptly. “You still awake?”

“Yeah.”

Only because you started talking, Apollo thought bitterly.

“What… happened to your mom?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I don’t know. I’ve… never met her. She went missing when I was a baby. I don’t even know her name, or what she looks like, or anything like that.”

“Oh. Wait, so she might be alive?”

“Maybe. I’m starting to think that she’s not, though.”

“What?” He sounded appalled. “Why?”

“Because… she hasn’t tried to find me yet. If she’s alive then why doesn’t she care?”

“Apollo… don’t say that. I’m sure she’s trying her hardest to come find you.”

“How do you know that?”

“Well, how do you know she’s not trying?”

“I don’t know.” He supposed that maybe that could be true. But pessimism had become more natural to him with age. Maybe it really could be like Clay had said. In fact, he remembered Dhurke telling him something similar when he was in Khura’in. But if she was looking so hard… how come she hadn’t found him yet? Now that he was living in the U.S. he wasn’t going under any aliases. Surely she would’ve been able to discover that Apollo Justice was here now somehow, right?

“Still… I’m sorry about that, Apollo. I had no idea that you went through something so awful.”

“It’s ok. I never knew you were so upset by what happened to your mom. You know that people are starting rumors about you because of it, right?”

“They are?”

“Yeah. People are calling you heartless.”

“Oh. That’s funny.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yeah, it’s not. But… I don’t really care that much. I dunno if you’ve noticed but people think I’m kinda annoying.”

“Eh… I’m not popular either.” People liked to call Clay the obnoxious astronaut. Meanwhile, people referred to him as a demon because of his horn hair. At this point he couldn’t care less about it.

“We have a lot in common, I think.”

“Yeah.” Apollo said with a yawn.

“Maybe we can actually work together the next time there is a group project?”

“Yeah, that could be fun…”

“But we can do that later, I guess.” Clay seemed to finally notice just how weak and sluggish Apollo’s voice was becoming. “Goodnight, Apollo.”

Apollo’s eyes opened at that. God… he knew it had only been about half a year, but it felt like it had been so long since someone had wished him goodnight. He didn’t realize how much he had missed it.

“G-goodnight, Clay.”

Apollo soon drifted off to sleep, and slept better than he had in a very long time.

After that very first encounter, Apollo and Clay found themselves hanging out together more and more often. Up until this point, neither of them had that many friends, so the company was very welcome for the both of them. Apollo enjoyed his presence greatly; now that Grandpa was gone, it felt like ages since he had someone to go over homework or eat lunch with. It made school much more fun now that he had someone to talk to.

And that made it all the more harder when weeks passed and he had to return home for a week and a half for winter break. As something of an early Christmas present, the nice lunch lady got Apollo a very large gift basket, filled with chocolates and crackers and all sorts of fruits. Apollo thanked her profusely, but she seemed to think nothing of it; she was just worried about what Apollo would be doing for the holidays. He lied through his teeth and said that he’d be spending time with family, so it’d be okay.

Despite her gracious gift, the winter break was still incredibly hard for him. Most all of the food in it was snack food that left him feeling pretty hungry still. And aside from that… it was really lonely. This would be the first Christmas and New Year’s Apollo spent alone, and it was… depressing, to say the least. Khura’in didn’t have anything like that. All of the holidays were devoted solely to the Holy Mother or other religious figures. Aside from birthdays, the only gift giving that ever happened in Khura’in was for the gods or the royal family. So when he came to America, he discovered that he liked the holidays; he liked the lights that sprung up on all the houses and shops and the snowmen that people would build in their yards and the fact that people gave one another gifts just in the spirit of friendship and joy. He liked that holiday, and it made it all the more worse that he was spending it alone this year. He just closed his eyes and rolled over in bed, hoping that by this time next year, Dhurke would come and take him home, and maybe he could introduce the holiday to him and Nahyuta, too.

After what felt like an eternity, winter break finally ended and Apollo thankfully got to return to school. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so happy to return to school before, but now he anticipated it eagerly. School meant he had at least one meal guaranteed, he had something to do all day, and most of all, it meant he got to see Clay again. Spending nearly two weeks in solitude was eating away at him, and just having anyone to talk to would be a huge relief.

Or, it would have been, if only the first class they had together wasn’t gym. But it was, and today they would be running laps as warm up seeing how the weather had cleared up just a little and most all the snow had melted. The moment those words left the teacher’s lips, Apollo was filled with dread. Honestly, he hated P.E. He might even say that he hated it more than he hated math, which was saying something. It was just so tedious and for him, difficult. It was exhausting and annoying for him in grade school, but now it felt near impossible. He just got so tired so quickly. His legs always felt weak and shaky, he grew out of breath after maybe a minute or two, and he would frequently ask the teacher for a bathroom break and ditch to avoid participating, but it seemed that he was catching on.

A few minutes after class began, Apollo was immediately regretting showing up at all. He had quickly fallen into last place and was panting heavily as he forced his legs to carry him further. He didn’t even care that he was losing; all he could think about was how tired he was, how hungry he was, and how desperately he wished they had gym after lunch instead of before.

“Apollo!” It was Clay. He ran up beside him, and then slowed his pace so they were going at the same rate.

“H-hey… Clay…” Apollo choked out between heavy pants. “You don’t have to… slow down… for me.”

“Nah, it’s fine. This is just warm up anyways.” Clay said. “Besides, I’ve already lapped you. Twice. I’m not that worried.”

God, he had? This was just sad.

“So how was break, Apollo? Did you get anything cool for Christmas? My grandma got me a telescope, isn’t that neat? Hey, next time you come over, we should look at the stars together…”

Apollo quickly tuned him out, finding it hard to focus on anything aside from his hoarse throat, his heart pounding in his ears and how utterly weak he felt. How in the world did Clay have enough stamina to be able to run and hold up a conversation like normal?

“Hey, did you hear me?”

God, he was tired.

“Are you all right?”

When was lunch? When was the last time he had even eaten, anyways?

“Apollo…”

Apollo’s running slowed until he was just barely walking at a snail’s pace. Clay stopped and stood next to him, gently placing his hand on his back.

“H-hey, are you okay? You look a little pale, and-”

But before he could finish his sentence, exhaustion finally overtook Apollo and he collapsed onto the gravel without a single word of warning. The last thing he recalled was Clay frantically calling his name before everything went black.

When he woke up, he found himself lying in a bed in the school’s infirmary. He recognized it immediately; he had gone here once before a few months ago when he had cut his finger in class and his homeroom teacher was out of bandages. He tried to sit up, but upon doing so felt tremendously dizzy. He laid back and sighed; he’d just wait until the school nurse came around. Or maybe he’d take another nap; surely he’d feel better then. However, before he could shut his eyes and fall asleep again, the door slid open and Clay walked in holding a tray in his hands.

“Apollo!” He exclaimed, rushing over to him. “Oh my god, are you okay? You scared the crap out of me!”

“I’m fine, Clay…” Apollo replied, slowly sitting up. “I guess I was just a little tired.”

“Ok…” Clay looked a little skeptical but decided not to press him for now. “Well, the nurse said you looked really weak, so I got lunch for you.”

“Thank you.” Apollo said as Clay placed the tray on his lap. It was a basic school lunch; there was a little cup of grapes, a small carton of chocolate milk, some chicken nuggets and a roll. Honestly Apollo felt like he might cry at the sight of it. “T-thank you.” He said again, popping a few grapes into his mouth. There was silence for a moment as Apollo ate greedily and Clay just sat in a plastic chair beside him, looking rather uneasy.

“Um… Apollo?” Clay finally asked. “Is there… something going on with you?”

“What do you mean?” Apollo asked, before nearly chugging the chocolate milk in one go.

“I mean… when was the last time you ate?”

“Oh.” Apollo paused, trying to remember. He had tried to make the lunch lady’s gift basket last for as long as he could, but it was inevitable that it would run out before break ended. That was two… no, three days ago? Probably? Not that he could tell Clay that, of course. “Last night.” He lied. “I skipped breakfast this morning and that’s probably why I felt so bad.”

“…Hmm.” That skeptical expression on Clay’s face never faltered. “Apollo, you’re lying to me. No one faints from missing one meal.”

“Maybe I do.”

“No, you don’t. This has been going on for a really long time, hasn’t it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“…Remember that night you found me crying, and my dad made you stay the night?”

“What about it?”

“When you were putting on the pjs I lent you I could practically count your ribs.”

“It’s not a big deal.” Apollo replied curtly. “I’m just a little small for my age. Grandpa says I’ll have a growth spurt any day now.”

Well, he had said that about a year ago. Repeating it technically wasn’t a lie.

“Apollo, stop lying to me!” Clay shouted, his booming voice nearly making Apollo drop the roll in his hand. “You’re starving, aren’t you? Why? Is someone starving you at home?”

“What? N-no, it’s nothing like that…”

“Please… just tell me the truth…” Clay’s voice grew significantly softer and Apollo realized he was beginning to tear up. “Apollo, I’m really scared. I know we haven’t known each other that long, but… I really like you. I don’t wanna lose you, too.”

Apollo stared at him with a newfound appreciation. Clay… he didn’t realize that he cared and worried for him this much already. He felt guilty. If Clay could open up to him when he was at his lowest… then perhaps he could do the same.

It’s what friends would do, right?

“Clay…” Apollo finally said, reaching out and putting his hand on Clay’s. “I’m sorry. I’ll tell you the truth. You just have to promise you won’t tell anyone, okay?”

“O-okay.”

So Apollo told him. He told him about how his dad died before he ever got to know him, how his mom went missing and no one knew who or where she was, how he had been taken in by someone who was deemed a terrorist and had to live in hiding, how Dhurke had to give him up but promised to come back for him, how he had lived happily with Grandpa in the meantime until he had died, how he couldn’t leave home now lest he run the risk of being sent someplace else, never to see Dhurke or Nahyuta again, and how that meant he had no choice but to live alone and wait.

When he finally finished talking, Apollo noticed that Clay was still crying, and he looked wretchedly worried.

“Oh my god, Apollo…” Clay sniffled, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “That’s what you’ve been going through? All by yourself?”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Shut up, yes it is!”

“Still… I’ll be okay.” Apollo said, patting Clay gently on the back. “I’ll be fine, remember?”

“Are you sure? I mean… just look at you.” He grabbed Apollo’s hand and pressed his palm flat against it. Apollo never noticed it before, but seeing his bony hand against Clay’s soft one made him realize that maybe things were indeed getting a bit worrisome.

“Maybe…” He sighed. “Maybe I do need help. But what am I supposed to do? If I ask any of the adults for help I’m sure I’ll be taken away. I don’t want to miss Dhurke when he finally comes back for me.”

“Hmm…” Clay leaned back in his chair, bringing a hand up to his chin in thought. “So there’s no way for Dhurke to call you or anything?”

“Probably not. Whenever we made phone calls in Khura’in it usually had to be pay phone. He’s never replied to any of my letters either, so he might’ve moved, too.”

“And he knows to meet you at your grandpa’s house, right?”

“Yeah. That’s where he’ll probably go to find me.”

“Well that’s easy then. Just leave a letter in the house saying where you went. That way he’ll know where to go!”

“But I don’t wanna be adopted by someone else. What if they don’t give me enough time to leave a letter for him? And if I get adopted how will Dhurke convince them to let me come back home with him?”

“You don’t have to worry about that because you won’t be going anywhere.” Clay grinned. “You’ll live with me!”

“…What?”

“You heard me! It’ll be fun! It’ll be like a sleepover but all the time!”

“Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean I’ll be living with you?”

“I mean… we have enough space for you. And it’s close to the school so we can check on your old house all the time so we don’t miss Dhurke! I just have to ask my dad if you can stay with us. Once he knows your situation I’m sure he’ll let you stay!”

“But what if he doesn’t?”

“Well… it’s worth a shot, right?”

“I dunno…”

”Please, Apollo,” Clay said desperately, squeezing his hand once more, “anything is better than what you’re going through right now.”

Apollo found he couldn’t say no to someone who was so upset.

Apollo was sent home early that day by the nurse, and told to rest and get plenty to eat so something like this wouldn’t happen again. He could at least promise to do one of those things. He went home, curled up under the heavy comforters and went to sleep. Thankfully, it was the last night he ever had to sleep in that cold, lonely house. By that time the very next day, he and Clay were sitting side by side, packing all his things into a duffle bag as he quickly left a note for Dhurke telling him where he’d be staying now.

Moving in with Clay was… intimidating at first. As he entered the apartment that cold afternoon, he couldn’t help but feel like he was eight and terrified again as he searched the airport desperately for a familiar face. Now that he thought about it, Apollo still had the same bag as he did back then. And like then, he was clutching it close to him in nervousness as he stared up at Clay’s dad. Mr. Terran had been pretty nice and hospitable the last time he had been over, but still he worried. Was it really this simple? Was he really going to let him stay with them for an indefinite time? This wasn’t all a guise so that he could call social services, was it?

“Apollo.” He said firmly. Apollo squeezed the strap of his bag so hard he was sure it would leave a pattern on his palm. “Is that all you have?”

“Yes, sir!” Apollo replied loudly but nervously. “I promise I won’t take up too much space. I’ll clean up after myself too, and-”

“Whoa, slow down, Apollo.” Mr. Terran said calmly. “I’m not mad, I just want to confirm something with you. Is what my son was saying about your situation true?”

“Hey, I wouldn’t lie about that!” Clay protested.

“Yes sir, it’s true.” Apollo said. “…You’re not going to call social services on me, right?”

“No, I won’t. Apollo, you can relax. You can stay with us as long as you need. Lord knows I’m used to cooking for three anyways.”

“Y-you mean it?”

“Of course. I just wanted to make sure Clay wasn’t making all this up. Khura’in, huh? I’ve never even heard of it.”

Apollo shot Clay a look, wondering just how much he had told his father.

“It’s not a very big country. It’s way different from here, too.”

“Well, I’d love to hear about it. But first thing’s first, we should all have dinner. You look… hungry, Apollo.”

That was an understatement, Apollo thought.

“Go put your things away. I’ll call you boys when it’s ready.”

Apollo did as told, putting his belongings away in Clay’s room. When Mr. Terran finally called them down for dinner, Apollo gasped at the sight before him. True to his word, Mr. Terran had made dinner for all of them. There was a plate of spaghetti and meatballs just for him, and there was even a bowl of extra pasta on the stove in case anyone wanted seconds. Apollo knew that it was just a normal family dinner, but from what he had been used to over the past couple months, it might as well have been a feast fit for a king.

“C’mon, Apollo,” Clay said, having already sat down and eaten half a meatball, “aren’t you gonna eat?”

“You’re not allergic to tomatoes or something, are you?” Mr. Terran asked.

“No, I’m not.” Apollo said, shaking his head. He sat down beside Clay and had a bite. It was warm and delicious and Apollo had to put his fork down for a moment to wipe away the tears that were welling up in his eyes. Clay took notice of this and wrapped his arm around Apollo’s shoulders.

“It’ll be fine now, right, Apollo?” Clay asked.

Apollo said nothing and just nodded, for the first time in ages believing his luck might actually be turning around. 

At twenty-two years old, Apollo knew it was time to give up on Dhurke.

“Dhurke’s never coming back, is he?” Apollo asked.

It was late at night, and he and Clay were sitting on the grassy hill besides Grandpa’s old home, just like they did nearly every weekend for the past ten years. After he had moved in with Clay, it had become routine for them to go to Grandpa’s old house on the weekends, to check for any sign of Dhurke. They never found it boring and honestly used it as an excuse to hang out. It seemed he and Clay always had a surplus of things to talk about, and when night fell, the spot was a perfect location for them to go stargazing. In fact, by the time they were done with middle school, Clay had stowed away his favorite telescope in Grandpa’s home. After all, it was far easier to use it here than it was at his apartment.

“Oh, don’t say that.” Clay replied from his spot by the telescope. “Revolution takes time. I’m sure he’s just been busy.”

Years ago, Apollo would’ve accepted that answer. But now he wasn’t so sure anymore. It had been a decade since he had moved in with Clay, and fourteen years since Dhurke had sent him here, and he was starting to think that maybe Dhurke had absolutely no intention of bringing him home.

“It’s okay.” Apollo insisted. “Honestly, I’m not even sad about it anymore.”

“You’re not?”

“Nah. I think I’ve decided I like it here more, anyways.”

“So you’re just going to give up on him like that?”

“He gave up on me.” Apollo scoffed. “Honestly, who just abandons an eight year old and disappears like that?”

“Oh, c’mon! I mean… he’s your sorta-dad!”

“Clay. Your dad’s been my sorta-dad longer than Dhurke was.”

“That’s different. You call dad Mr. Terran. And Dhurke saved you from the river as a kid, right?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s common decency to save a drowning kid.”

“Well, whatever.” Clay sighed, stepping away from his telescope and laying down beside Apollo in the grass. “So… what now?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you’re giving up on Dhurke… then what’s the plan now?”

“Same as it was before. This doesn’t change anything.”

It was true. Despite the having the thought of returning to Khura’in perpetually on the back of his mind, he still had to prepare for a future in the U.S. should Dhurke never come through. And so he did. While Clay pursued his dreams of being an astronaut, Apollo worked hard at studying law and becoming a lawyer. Initially, it had just been a dream he had come up with to fill out an essay, but he found that he liked law quite a bit. Soon enough, he and Clay were attending the same university following their individual dreams. They had a dorm room together, and then eventually an apartment in the city that was closer to their individual places of work. Apollo had passed the bar exam and was working for a law office in the city, while Clay had finally gotten a job at the fancy space center. It was only a matter of time before Apollo would be defending in court and Clay would be up among the stars.

“I guess this changes one thing. Now we don’t have to come back here every weekend anymore.”

“Aww, but I like coming out here! You can see the stars way better here than you can downtown. Besides, my dad appreciates us coming to visit so often.”

“Fine, we can keep coming here. But just because we like it; not because I’m waiting anymore.”

“Works for me.”

There was a pause again, as the two of them stared at the stars together in silence.

“…What would you do if Dhurke came back, anyways?” Clay finally asked.

“Oh, I dunno.” Apollo replied. “Ignore him, I guess. Maybe give him a piece of my mind. I don’t know. Honestly, I’m just gonna try to forget about him.”

“What about Nahyuta?”

“Hmm…” Honestly, Apollo hadn’t thought about him in a long time. Every once in awhile, especially while growing up, he’d think of him. When he got new toys for Christmas he’d wonder if Nahyuta had anyone to play with now that he was gone, and when he tried red velvet cake for the first time he thought about Nahyuta and wondered if he’d like it, too. Apollo was absolutely furious at Dhurke for abandoning him for over a decade, but as for Nahyuta… well, he was honestly worried about him. Nahyuta was young too, and unlike Apollo he wasn’t given the chance to go someplace else. Apollo was going to try to forget about Khura’in entirely… but he couldn’t help but spare a thought for Nahyuta.

Before Apollo could reply, however, a bright, beautiful, shooting star shot across the sky.

“Whoa! Did you see that, Apollo?!” Clay exclaimed, pointing up at it. “Make a wish! Quick!”

Apollo closed his eyes and did so, just like he had done many times before. Honestly, his wishes varied throughout the years. Sometimes he wished for simple things, like going to his favorite spot for dinner sometime soon or wishing for a good grade on an upcoming test. After he had gotten into college, pretty much every star he wished on he wished to be able to pass the bar exam. But now…

I wish that no matter what he’s up to, Nahyuta’s doing okay.

“Welp,” Clay said, hopping to his feet, “we should probably get going. Wouldn’t wanna miss your big day tomorrow.”

“Ugh, I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Oh come on!” Clay exclaimed, holding his hand out for Apollo. “It’s your first case! You should be excited!”

“I’m too nervous to be excited.” Apollo said with a grimace. He took Clay’s hand anyways, and helped him put his telescope away.

“Well, how about this. If you win tomorrow, I’ll take you out to your favorite restaurant!”

“And if I lose?” Apollo asked bitterly.

“Then… you know what, I’ll take you out either way so it’ll cheer you up.”

“That works with me.”

The two of them headed back to Clay’s car, and though Apollo was still nervous for his first case to come, he was still a little excited. Dhurke was not coming back. He would never see him again, and that was fine with him. All that meant now was he had a sunny future with a promising career to look forward to; one that he had forged by himself. He’d be fine. He’d prove to Dhurke that he’d be fine without him too, and all those years he wasted in wait would be nothing but sad memories to be laughed about later.

His luck was turning around, and he would be fine!

Or so he thought, until his very first case came to a close and it couldn’t have possibly gone any worse. His boss, Kristoph Gavin, was found to be the true culprit and was now behind bars. The defendant, Phoenix Wright, had nearly caused him to get disbarred by using forged evidence. Again. And as Kristoph was being hauled off to prison, Apollo realized that this meant he was out of a job. He could practically hear Nahyuta’s taunting voice in the back of his mind claiming:

You’re bad luck!

“Shut up, Nahyuta.” Apollo muttered to himself as he biked home.

When he arrived at his and Clay’s shared apartment, he was immediately met with an explosion of confetti once he opened the door.

“Congratulations!” Clay shouted. He popped yet another confetti canon, most all of its contents landing on Apollo’s head and shoulders. “How did your case go, Apollo?!”

“Why are you congratulating me if you don’t even know what happened?” Apollo asked, brushing the excess confetti off of him.

“Because if you won… then that means you won,” Clay explained, “but if you lost, you still have tons of cases to look forward to, right?”

“No.”

“No?”

“Clay, I lost my job.”

“Wait, what?!” He gasped. “How? Why?! What happened?!”

“I found my client not guilty, but… it turned out my boss was the one who did it.”

“Mr. Gavin? Why?”

“I don’t know.” Apollo sighed, collapsing into a chair. “I don’t know why he did it but we were able to prove it was him.”

“We?”

“Yeah. Mr. Wright, the defendant of all people, seemed to know it from the start and actually joined me in proving it.”

“That’s weird. But hey, at least you got to work with your old idol, right? That’s cool.”

“He’s not my idol.”

“What? He totally is. You used to gush on and on about how cool ‘The Legendary Phoenix Wright’ was.”

“Well he’s not anymore.” Apollo replied curtly. “Did you know he was disbarred for forging evidence? He nearly got me disbarred, too!”

“Jeez… that sounds terrible.” Clay said. He began to massage Apollo’s shoulders, and as usual, his grip was stronger than he thought and it hurt a little. Apollo appreciated the gesture at least.

“Just my luck.” Apollo sighed heavily.

“W-well… my promise still holds. You still wanna go to dinner? I’ll pay.”

“…Sure, Clay. That sounds nice. I could really use the distraction.”

“Cheer up, Apollo! It’ll be fine.” Clay said. “I’m sure something better will come along soon enough.”

“If you say so.”

Thankfully, something better did come around. In two forms, in fact.

The first was Trucy. Kind, intelligent, charming Trucy Wright. Apollo didn’t know what to think of her at first. He didn’t trust Mr. Wright anymore; that was for sure. But Trucy? Trucy he quickly grew to like. At first he found her to be strange; a child magician wandering around Mr. Wright’s law office turned talent agency, claiming to be his “sugar daddy” who was in charge of all the financial decisions… she was strange all right, but she was helpful while he investigated cases, and often noticed things that he didn’t. She was also just a cheerful, fun person to be around, and he enjoyed her company greatly. It didn’t take him long to care deeply about her. When she had fake kidnapped herself to make the trial run longer during the Kitaki case, Apollo couldn’t bring himself to stop crying, even when she proved nothing had really happened.

She was also far more insightful than she let on. Somehow, she knew about Apollo’s keen ability to perceive. And soon enough, he was able to understand the reason behind his bracelet mysteriously squeezing him. Finally, after years of dealing with that strange sensation, he finally knew the truth behind it.

It was helpful, in a way, to be able to tell when people were lying; getting through court cases was so much easier when he could catch culprits in a lie. It could also be funny sometimes, too. He soon discovered that Clay’s nervous tick was messing with the visor that he never took off, and now he could determine for sure whether or not Clay was telling the truth when he claimed a broken dish was the cat’s fault.

However, knowing what the bracelet meant made him a bit somber, too. He recalled that day, ages ago now, when Dhurke had dropped him off at the airport, promising to come get him soon. Apollo remembered it squeezing him then, hard. Dhurke… really wasn’t coming back, was he? Maybe he knew that things wouldn’t settle down soon enough for Apollo to return.

Or maybe he just didn’t want Apollo at all.

No one wants you; not even your parents!

Shut up, Nahyuta, Apollo thought.

Well… whatever. He had long since decided to give up on Dhurke, too. He didn’t need him anymore. He had grown up just fine. He had a home to return to that didn’t involve him living in hiding, he had studied hard and gotten himself an attorney’s badge fresh out of school, he had Clay, the greatest friend he could ever ask for, and he also had Trucy… Mr. Wright too, maybe, but it was taking a bit for Apollo to warm up to him. At the very least, he didn’t really want to punch him anymore.

Besides, the guy might be made of metal, seeing how he survived a head-on hit and run with only a twisted ankle.

The second was Klavier Gavin of all people. Just like Trucy, Apollo initially didn’t know what to think of him, either. When he found out that his now ex-boss had a prosecutor brother, Apollo had been a bit nervous. While working under Kristoph, he had been told to expect the worst from the prosecution. He had told him that prosecutors worked tirelessly for a guilty verdict; there had been many cases of prosecutors berating defense attorneys and in some more extreme instances, throwing things at them. After his arrest, Apollo figured that Kristoph had just made that up to mess with him. However, Mr. Wright was able to vouch for it, and even claimed that he had dealt with a prosecutor once who had repeatedly whipped him.

So when he finally met Klavier Gavin, the last thing he had expected was for him to smile at him gently and invite him to investigate the crime scene without any qualms. And once they actually faced off in court, he was nothing like those other prosecutors Mr. Wright had described. He was friendly, and he worked with him to find the truth rather than against him for a guilty verdict. There were even some instances in which he helped Apollo figure things out by giving him hints while they were in a trial. It was strange, to say the least. Why was he so willing to change his views? Why was he so eager to help? And why, above all else, was he so kind? Apollo put his brother in jail! Wouldn’t most people be at least a little upset about that? Yet here he was, giving him and Trucy backstage passes to his sold-out concert and letting them join him with pointing out who made the mistakes in his recording.

By the second time they were facing off, they were easily finishing one another’s sentences and working together to find the truth.

But despite how quickly they hit it off, Apollo still couldn’t help but feel like there was something… off about him. Klavier was kind. So kind it often came off as a bit aloof. His brother had gone to jail; as did his band mate all thanks to Apollo, yet he treated him with nothing but hospitality. Along with that, Apollo’s bracelet would squeeze him when Klavier mentioned the strangest things. It squeezed him when he talked about his reason for getting into music, it squeezed him anytime he brushed off the subject of Daryan or his brother, and sometimes it even squeezed him when he asked Klavier how he was doing. He was definitely hiding something, and it was beginning to worry him.

It worried him even further during the Vera Misham case.

He had never seen Klavier – cool, confident, calm Klavier – act like this before. When his brother took the stand, he became terrified. Anxious to the point of silence as Kristoph berated him from the witness stand. Why did he look to be in physical pain at the sight of his very own brother? That… couldn’t be normal. Apollo didn’t have any actual siblings, but Nahyuta had been the closest thing to one. They had argued and fought countless times, but Apollo was never scared of him. This was nothing short of abnormal, and even when Klavier had managed to swallow his fear and stand up to Kristoph, Apollo’s worries still lingered.

There had to be something more to this, something that was still eating away at Klavier even as Kristoph’s haunting laughter subsided and he was hauled off to prison for the second time, and Apollo determined he was going to find out what. The courtroom was a flurry of excitement after the case had come to a close, and Apollo decided to miss out on getting post-case noodles with Mr. Wright and Trucy. He waited on a bench in the front of the courthouse until, after what felt like hours, Klavier finally emerged.

“Herr Forehead?” Klavier asked. He had looked uneasy since the conclusion of the trial, but once he noticed Apollo he smiled gently. “What are you still doing here?”

“Uh…” Apollo noticed it again; that nervousness Klavier seemed to have over absolutely nothing. Klavier hadn’t even said anything that would warrant a lie yet Apollo could still tell something was plaguing him. “I was waiting up for you, actually.”

“Ah, that’s sweet.” Klavier chuckled. “But it is getting rather late, don’t you think? I’m sure we’ll have many opportunities to see one another in the future, ja?”

“Yes, but… I just wanted to make sure you were okay, I guess.”

“As if I have ever been anything but fine. Right, Herr Forehead?” Klavier responded, running his hand through his hair, a sure-fire sign that he was full of it. This was going to be difficult; it seemed Klavier was a master of dodging questions and turning them into flirtatious remarks.

“Prosecutor Gavin, I’m being serious.” Apollo argued. “I’ve never seen you look so scared before. Are you really okay?”

“Ja, ja, just fine.” Klavier replied. The circulation to Apollo’s hand was nearly cut off by how hard his bracelet was squeezing him. Even Klavier could tell Apollo was not convinced by his answer. “Kristoph is my brother, Herr Forehead. Even if it’s for the greater good, it’s not easy to prosecute against him. I’m sure you wouldn’t enjoy it if you had to prove Fräulein Trucy was guilty of murder, now would you?”

“Yeah, but Trucy’s not my sister.” Apollo said.

“My point still stands. No one can keep cool when prosecuting against someone that close to them.”

“You seemed fine when it was Daryan, though.” Apollo replied. Klavier’s casual snapping of his fingers stopped abruptly the moment he said it, and Apollo knew he had struck a nerve.

“Herr Forehead,” Klavier said quietly, “the case has been closed. Both of them have. So what are you questioning me for?”

“The fact that they’re closed is exactly why I’m questioning you, Prosecutor Gavin. You’re really nice. And you were nice to me still even when I know these cases must have hurt you. I guess I’d like to be there for you outside of court, if I can?” Apollo knew that while Mr. Wright had had many run ins with rude and often violent prosecutors, at the end of the day he usually had a positive relationship with them. Especially Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth. They had faced off against one another many a time in the past yet, despite that, they were thick as thieves outside of court. Trucy even mentioned that many times Edgeworth would come over to their place and just hang out with them. And there were multiple occasions in which he had invited the two of them abroad to help him with some legal work. If Mr. Wright could be so close with his “rival”, then he could certainly do the same. “I guess I’m saying let’s be friends.”

“I thought we already were. Do you really think I give backstage passes to just anyone?”

“Honestly? Yeah, I do.”

That got a laugh out of Klavier. Apollo was beginning to feel embarrassed. As usual, Klavier was being cool and confident and this conversation was going nowhere.

“W-well,” Apollo stammered, “I just wanted to say that I’m here if you ever need to like, talk or anything-“

“Herr Forehead.” Klavier interrupted. “Would you like to go get a drink together? Consider it a congratulations for Fraülien Vera’s not guilty verdict.”

“Um…” This wasn’t the first time Klavier had offered to take him out someplace, and he was sure it wouldn’t be the last, either. “Sure, why not?”

Klavier drove the two of them to a small bar a few miles away from the courthouse. Honestly, Apollo was beginning to hope that Klavier would drink enough to require them calling a taxi; riding a motorcycle had been terrifying and he really didn’t want to do it again. The two of them sat down at a table in the far back corner of the bar, near where a small stage was set up. No one was preforming tonight; but it seemed they had quite a few prominent guest stars here before. Apollo even noticed a picture of Klavier hung up among the signed photographs of people who had performed here in the past. He looked much younger than he did now, and a large pair of dark sunglasses obscured his eyes. Of course, Apollo thought, leave it to the fop to wear sunglasses indoors. Klavier ordered himself a pina colada. Apollo wasn’t surprised in his choice of drink, honestly. He could practically visualize Klavier strumming away at his guitar, obnoxiously singing along to if you like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain…

For a while they just talked about… whatever came to mind, really. Like Clay, Klavier was a relatively easy guy to talk to, and he enjoyed just sort of hanging out together like this. Klavier talked about having preformed here once right as his band was just taking off. They had only been teenagers at time, so they hadn’t been allowed to have anything here aside from water or soda. Daryan had tried to convince the barkeeper that the whole band had just turned twenty-one, but she told them that no one over the age of thirteen would wear gaudy sunglasses like that in all seriousness. Klavier had been so offended at the time. He was seventeen and very grown up, thank you very much.

Apollo didn’t have as many wild tales to tell about himself, but… he certainly had plenty with Clay. Apollo told Klavier that one time just when they had just started high school, Clay’s dad had had some friends over for a party. After the party was over, there were a ton of leftover beer bottles in the fridge. Clay dared Apollo to have one, but he turned it down; taking the safety videos about underage drinking they had been forced to watch in health and biology class to heart. Clay wound up drinking a couple of them, then accidentally dropped one of the bottles and shattered it on the floor. In his drunken state he had figured the best way to clean it up without being caught would be to pick it up with his bare hands. He cut his hand so badly he needed stitches on his right palm and since then Mr. Terran made sure there was never any alcohol left in the house.

They continued talking for a while as they finished their drinks. Well, Apollo only had one. He was a lightweight and he knew it, and he figured getting completely plastered probably wasn’t the best idea on a Tuesday night. Klavier, however, had a multitude of drinks. It seemed he was dead set on getting at least a little drunk, but after the trial they had just gone through, Apollo couldn’t really blame him. By the time it was fifteen minutes before close, Klavier had quite a few empty glasses on the table before them and he looked very tired, leaning forward and resting his head in his hand as he talked with Apollo. There were a few occasions during their conversation where he would shut his eyes for a moment, looking as if he were deep in thought, only for Apollo to realize that he had actually been nodding off a little.

Like right now.

“Um… hey.” Apollo said, leaning forward and shaking Klavier’s arm a little bit. “Prosecutor Gavin, we-”

“Klavier.” He interrupted, still not opening his eyes. “We’re hanging out as friends right now, so you can just call me Klavier.”

“Does that mean you’ll call me something other than Herr Forehead?” Apollo asked.

“I’ll think about it, Mein Forehead.”

“Well, Klavier,” Apollo continued, “they said they’re closing in a few minutes, so we should probably-”

“Say, do you believe in curses?” Klavier asked abruptly.

“Um… what?”

“Curses. Like… karma. Being naturally unlucky. That kind of thing.”

Apollo had no idea what he was talking about, but that last one certainly struck a chord with him.

“I don’t know if I believe in them or anything, but… yeah, sometimes it feels like I’m cursed.”

“Hmm…” Klavier mumbled.

“Klavier, um-”

“Have you heard of the dark age of the law?”

“Uh… no. I mean, I don’t think so? I feel like I heard Mr. Wright say something about it before, but I’m not sure.”

“It’s what people are calling the state of the legal system right now. Corrupt prosecutors committing crimes, defense attorneys presenting forged evidence… it’s a vicious cycle of lawyers doing whatever they can on both sides to get their desired verdicts.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I’m the one who started it.”

“You… what?”

“You know what case people are citing as the cause of this? The Gramarye case. The case where Herr Wright presented forged evidence.”

“Forged evidence he didn’t even know about.” Apollo added. “How is that your fault?”

“I was the prosecutor on that case. I knew in advance that Herr Wright would present forged evidence. But instead of telling anyone or trying to stop him ahead of time… I let the case play out. I just waited for him to do it. Just like that I single-handedly caused the public to lose faith in all defense attorneys.“

“Wait-”

“Why did I do that? Why didn’t I stop him, or think to tell anyone, why did I just accept what Kristoph had said and gone with it? I didn’t even question why he’d know that! I could’ve prevented all of it, yet I was just as useless as he said I was!”

“Klavier-”

“This is all my fault. I completely screwed over everyone. God, I ruined Herr Wright’s life, too! And if I hadn’t made everything fall into corruption, maybe Kristoph would’ve thought twice about doing the things he did, and maybe he wouldn’t have-”

“Klavier!” Apollo shouted, slamming his fist down upon the little table. The few other patrons in the bar immediately turned to look at them and Apollo quickly lowered his voice. “L-look, none of that’s true, okay?”

“What makes you so sure?”

“It’s only been a few hours since the trial ended.” Apollo explained. “But soon enough everyone and their mother will know that Kristoph was behind it. The forged evidence, Mr. Wright’s disbarment, the murders of Drew Misham and Zak Gramarye… they were all his doing! None of this was your fault.”

“But I didn’t do anything to stop him. I knew something was going on but I didn’t even try to look into it! I just…” Klavier groaned and clutched at his hair nervously.

“Hey… That’s not true, okay?” Apollo reached forward, placing his hand on Klavier’s. “You’re not useless. You’ve helped me with every single case we’ve had together thus far. And that’s how things are supposed to be: the prosecution and the defense, working together to reach the truth. That’s how you’ve always done things; how in the world could you possibly think you’re part of the problem?”

“I…”

“Besides, you took a break from prosecuting after Mr. Wright got disbarred. For nearly seven years! If you didn’t feel any remorse, you wouldn’t have done that.”

“I was just busy with my band…” Klavier ran his fingers through his hair, so Apollo decided to ignore that comment.

“Klavier, you’re a good person. You came back to help fix everything, right?”

“J-ja, partially.”

“See? There’s no way this is your fault. You’ve only had good intentions, even from the start.”

“I… suppose so.”

“You’re not cursed. This isn’t punishment for doing something wrong. Bad things happen to everyone. Just… some people more than others.”

“Apollo…” He trailed off when he noticed one of the employees pulling out a broom. “They’re closing. We should probably head out now.”

If Klavier hadn’t just spilled his heart to him, he would’ve told him that he had been trying to tell him that for the past ten minutes.

The two of them took a cab back to Apollo’s apartment. He would’ve liked to drop Klavier off at his own place, but… pretty much the moment the two of them got into the cab, Klavier dozed off, letting his head rest on Apollo’s shoulder. It didn’t matter how many times Apollo shook him and asked him what his address was. Aside from a few blank, tired looks, he got no response. He’d have to remember that Klavier was a sleepy drunk if they ever went out for drinks again.

By the time the two of them arrived at Apollo and Clay’s apartment, it was well past midnight. Clay had likely been asleep for at least an hour by now. Apollo was thankful for that; he wasn’t quite sure how he’d explain to him why he was coming in so late at night with a drunken Rock Star Prosecutor Klavier Gavin leaning heavily against his shoulders. As soon as they got inside, Apollo helped Klavier onto the couch.

“I know this probably isn’t the cushy life you’re used to, but…”

“It’s fine, Herr Forehead.” Klavier said, laying back and resting his head against the couch cushions.

“Well if you’re going to stay here for the night, you can have my bed if you want…” Klavier had long since shut his eyes and didn’t respond. “Prosecutor Gavin? Uh… Klavier?”

Nothing. Klavier was clearly asleep. Apollo just sighed and took Klavier’s shoes off for him, then rolled him onto his side, just in case. He was exhausted too, and considered leaving it at that… but he couldn’t in good conscious go to bed without putting a blanket on him first. He did so, and finally headed to his room. The day had significantly worn him out, but he still couldn’t help but worry over Klavier as he drifted off to sleep. Klavier had been feeling guilty over what had happened to Mr. Wright for seven years now… yet all he’d ever say about it to anyone was that he took a break to pursue music. What in the world had caused him to be such a closed off person and run off like that? Regardless, Apollo was content that Klavier was able to open up to him a little.

Like friends.

Apollo woke up to the next morning to someone shaking him.

“Dude. Apollo.” It was Clay. He shook him some more. “Apollo, wake up.”

Despite his incessant shaking, he was keeping his loud voice down for once.

“Mmm… Clay?” Apollo grumbled. “What is it?”

“Apollo, there’s a celebrity in our house right now.”

“…Huh?”

“The lead singer of the Gavinners is passed out on our couch right now!”

Apollo sat up, rubbing his eyes groggily. Based on the light filtering through the window, the sun hadn’t risen that long ago. Clay was always early to wake, and usually Apollo didn’t mind, seeing it as a chance to join him and practice his voice exercises. But yesterday had been tiring, plus he didn’t have a case to work on today, so he just wanted to go back to sleep.

“Do you think he’d give me an autograph?”

“He gave the judge one once in a murder trial.” Apollo said with a yawn. “I’m pretty sure he looks for the chance to give people those.”

“Sweet! What should I ask him to sign? Do you think a poster’s too overused?”

“I don’t think he cares, just… actually, I’ll ask him for you later.”

“Awww, what?”

“You really shouldn’t wake him. He had a rough time last night and could really use the sleep. …Also he’s probably going to be a bit hung over.”

“Wait, you seriously got drunk with a rock star last night?”

“He’s more of a prosecutor to me, but yeah.” He paused. “I mean no. I didn’t get drunk. Someone has to be responsible.”

“Awww, you’re no fun.”

“I know I’m not, but at least I don’t do anything bad. How’s your hand, Clay?”

Clay looked confused for a second, then glanced at the faded scar on his hand. He blushed and quickly shoved his hand into his pocket.

“At least I know how to live.”

“It’s not living if you’re going to die before you’re thirty.”

“Whatever!” Clay snapped. “But… I gotta head to work. Make sure he autographs something of mine, ok?”

“I’ll have him autograph your space center coat, got it.”

“He can sign anything but that!” Despite the threat, he laughed. “But I’ll see you later, Apollo.”

“Mmm… bye.” Apollo replied, already rolling back over in bed.

By the time he got up for real, the sun was already high in the sky. Apollo slowly got out of bed, and noticed the house smelled like… something. Something burnt. He went to the kitchen to investigate, where he found a pan soaking in the sink and a piece of paper sitting on the table. It read:

Mein Forehead,

Sorry to leave you without saying goodbye, but I have work today. Also I had to go pick up my bike from the bar. You know how it is. Thanks for letting me stay the night. And sorry for getting like that. It was a long day, and I had a few too many. I tried to make you some breakfast as thanks but I’m afraid I burnt the eggs. My apologies. I left you some money to get a new carton. Your cute friend let me take the last of the painkillers, too. Hope that’s all right! I’ll see you around, ja?

-Klavier

Apollo rolled his eyes at the letter. Leave it to Klavier Gavin to pass out on his couch, burn his eggs, then call his roommate cute. He could already picture the look of disdain on Ema’s face at being told that story. Apollo flipped over the paper where, sure enough, he found a twenty-dollar bill on the table. He eyed it curiously; where the hell did Klavier go where they sold eggs for twenty dollars? However, he couldn’t think about it too long, because he noticed some more writing and some numbers written on the back of the paper, though the text had been crossed out. Apollo groaned; could Klavier just not be straightforward about anything? Ever? He looked at the words carefully; thankfully Klavier hadn’t crossed out enough to make it illegible.

Also, thanks for spending time with me last night. I really appreciate it. I’m sure I was difficult to deal with, but I really needed someone. And you were there for me, as always. Thank you. If you ever need something, I’d like to be there for you, too.

And if not, that’s fine. Regardless, I’d like to hang out again sometime. Here’s my number if you ever want to get coffee or something.

Apollo could feel himself blushing as he scanned the words a second time. Despite that, he couldn’t help but smile. Yeah… he would like to hang out with Klavier again sometime. Preferably not after an emotionally draining trial in which his brother was found guilty of murder. Again. Apollo pulled out his phone and added Klavier’s number to it. His thumb hovered over the P for a moment, ready to type out Prosecutor Gavin, but he ultimately decided against it and entered Klavier.

From that day onward, Apollo and Klavier hung out with each other more and more. They worked on a couple more cases together; Klavier made sure of it. He even went so far as to disband the Gavinner’s for good, claiming that he wanted to dedicate himself to law full time. Apollo looked forward to it. Facing off against Klavier in court was… exciting, honestly. He knew not to be intimidated by him, and no matter which witnesses and evidence he presented, he knew at the end of the day the two of them would be working together regardless of who was really right.

They soon found the simplest reasons to hang out with one another. They’d grab a coffee after a particularly tiring investigation, or get dinner together once a long trial finally came to an end. Sometimes, they didn’t even need a reason. Sometimes do you want to come to my place and watch some movies? was reason enough for Klavier to drop everything and hang out with Apollo late into the night.

Clay was ecstatic about it, of course. Apollo didn’t even realize that he was such a big fan of The Gavinners until he was star struck to the point of silence when Klavier walked in. If this was how Clay acted when he had been here the first time, then it was no wonder that Klavier had called him cute. He was eventually able to overcome his star struck shyness, and soon he had his arm slung around Klavier’s shoulders just like they were old friends. Somehow, Clay seemed to have a way with people like that. Apollo began to wonder just how quickly it’d take for him to befriend Trucy and Mr. Wright. He really should introduce them sometime. 

One night, early that December, the two of them were hanging out on Klavier’s couch, watching a movie. Today they were watching a romcom of some sort. Apollo vastly preferred horror, or fantasy, or pretty much anything but romcoms but after having Klavier sit through a ton of horror movies at his place he determined it was only fair that he should have to sit through a cheesy love story or two. At least this movie probably wouldn’t cause anyone to jump in fear, like Klavier had multiple times during some of the horror movies Apollo had shown him.

“Say, Klavier?” Apollo asked abruptly. If he was being honest, he really wasn’t paying that much attention to the movie and would rather be talking. “How did Mr. Gavin get that scar on his hand?”

“…Oh, that.” Klavier said, after a brief pause. “Why do you ask?”

“I was just curious. It was… a very unique scar.”

“Because it looked like a skull?”

“Yeah. It was kinda creepy to look at up close.”

“Well, as creepy as my brother may have been, that certainly wasn’t intentional.”

“It wasn’t?”

“Nein.” He didn’t say anything else. So Apollo just stared at him, expectantly, waiting for an answer. “…Did Kristoph ever mention me when you worked together?”

“No, he didn’t.”

“Ah, figures. Kristoph only ever talked to people about things he deemed important.”

Apollo couldn’t ignore the bitterness in Klavier’s tone.

“He did have a picture of you, though.”

“…Really?” Klavier looked genuinely surprised at this.

“Yeah. I found it in his drawer one time when I was looking for something. It was a picture of you and him with your parents, I think. He looked like he was probably in high school, but you were really little.”

“I think I know the picture you’re talking about.” Klavier replied. “Did Kristoph and I happen to be in unfortunate matching suits?”

“With matching baby blue ties?” Apollo smirked. “Yes.”

“God, we looked terrible.” Klavier laughed. “But our parents forced us to wear that. Had to look nice for the family Christmas photo, after all.”

Apollo wanted to laugh too, but there was something else about that photo that bothered him.

“…Neither of you were smiling in that photo.”

“Oh, we weren’t? It can’t be helped. No one really enjoys taking family Christmas photos.”

A lie, and Apollo could tell.

“I do. I mean, I did… hold up a second.” Apollo got his wallet out of his pocket, and pulled out a photograph tucked away beneath his ID. It was taken about twelve years ago; it was an image of him and Grandpa, the two of them standing in front of his old house. They were both standing triumphantly beside a very large snowman the two of them had built together. With Grandpa’s help, it stood even taller than Apollo. “This is one of the only Christmas photos I ever got to take, but I really liked it.”

“Hmm…” Klavier took the photo from him and got a better look. “You were a really cute kid, Herr Forehead.”

“Oh. Uh…” He hadn’t been expecting that answer. “Thank you?”

“That’s not your father, is it?”

“No, that’s my grandpa.” Apollo replied. “I lived with him for a while when I was younger.”

“Why? Were there problems at home?”

Apollo thought about everything that happened with his living situation from birth until now, and summed it up in one concise statement:

“Yeah, you could say that.”

“Well, that makes two of us.” Klavier sighed, handing the picture back.

“Really? What happened?”

“I could ask you the same.”

Apollo glared. There he was dodging questions again… Well, at least he was getting somewhere.

“…Did you notice anything else about the picture of me and Kristoph?” Klavier asked, before Apollo could press him further.

“I... don’t think so?” Apollo replied. “I mean, I never got that close of a look at it. I think Kristoph had the cut on his hand already, but-”

“Ja, he did. He got that when he was thirteen.”

Thirteen. Skull scar. Kristoph being likened to the devil. Of course it happened when he was thirteen.

“Well, what happened?”

“I don’t remember it that clearly, I was only about… five, I think? I was playing in the front yard, when I accidentally kicked a ball into the street. I went to go get it back and I didn’t even notice the car that was coming. Kristoph pulled me back in time but he tripped on the curb and when he fell back, his hand got caught on a spike in the fence behind him.

“Ew, that sounds awful.” Apollo grimaced, unconsciously squeezing his own hand.

“Yeah, it was terrible. His hand bled so much I actually thought he was going to die!”

“Still, I had no idea that’s how he got it. Knowing what I do now, I thought he had gotten it in a knife fight.”

“Kristoph?” Klavier laughed. “In a knife fight?”

“Oh, come on! Is it that hard to imagine?”

“Ja!”

“Well, still! I didn’t think it’d be from something so… heroic.” Apollo mused.

“Ja, heroic.” Klavier repeated.

There it was again. The way Klavier moved his fingers through his pretty long hair immediately caught Apollo’s attention.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Did you know you run your fingers through your hair when you’re nervous about something?”

“…Ach, your eyes never miss a thing.” Klavier put his hand down and clutched it with his other one in a far too clear attempt to stop the habit. “I hated that scar. Honestly, I think it caused me more trouble than it did him.”

“What do you mean?”

“When Kristoph got that scar, he had to get stitches. Vater was furious with me for being so careless and grounded me for like a month. He made me apologize to Kristoph for hurting him like that. …And Kristoph was quick to use this to his advantage. It was his way of making me do whatever he wanted. If I ever said no to him, he’d just remind me that I’d be dead if it weren’t for him, so I wasn’t in any position to refuse. I felt so terrible about it that I complied. It went on for years, and soon enough I couldn’t imagine saying no to him. Ever.”

Apollo noticed Klavier’s hands shaking, so he placed his on top of them, silently urging him to continue.

“I tried to tell my parents about it, but why would they believe me? I was the dumb kid who always kept causing trouble! Kristoph was the smart one, they’d never believe a word I said.” Klavier laughed bitterly. “He was the reason I became a prosecutor, you know? He told me it’d be great; two brothers working on opposite sides of the courtroom to bring justice. Seeing how the Gramarye case went, I can probably guess what he really wanted me there for.” He sighed, noticing Apollo’s concerned look. “I’m sorry, Herr Forehead, I’m not sure why I’m telling you all this. All you asked was how he got one scar, I shouldn’t have-”

“It’s fine!” Apollo interrupted. “It’s fine, Klavier. You’re fine. I don’t mind listening.”

“Well there’s not really much more to it. He manipulated me, then I was too much of a coward to do anything about it when I grew up.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes it is. I ran off for seven years using my band as an excuse to never return to the courtroom and see him again. If that’s not cowardice, than what is?”

“You stood up against him with me, remember? You called him to the stand even though I’m sure it was painful to do so, and together we put an end to all the trouble he caused. Klav, none of that would’ve happened if it weren’t for your bravery.”

“I suppose so.”

”Besides, was your band really just an excuse? You seem to really care about music.”

“Well, kinda. I do like music. But it’s always been a way to escape.” Klavier smiled. “Music was liberating, I guess. No one can control what comes from your heart, ja? Not even Kristoph. Don’t be fooled by the violin in his office; he couldn’t play a single note. When I was on stage no one could touch me. …Or so I thought. But I suppose some things just aren’t meant to last.”

“I guess it is hard to keep up a band when your second guitarist kills someone. I’ve never seen you more pissed off than you were at Daryan for messing up a cue.”

“I suppose that’s true. He… has a way of upsetting me.” Klavier laughed, twisting his thumb through a long strand of hair. “But he was only one of the reasons I gave up the band.”

“Really? What else happened?”

“Hmm…” Klavier thought for a moment, then squeezed Apollo’s hands. “I often wonder that myself.”

Apollo just stared at him, and suddenly his face felt very warm.

“But, let’s return to the movie, shall we?” Klavier said before Apollo could say anything else.

“Yeah… sure.” Apollo said, bringing his attention back to the movie, too. However, he wasn’t able to focus that hard on it. How could he when he couldn’t help but notice that Klavier was still holding his hand the entire time, and didn’t make any effort to move it? He… liked it. He liked the feeling of Klavier’s hand in his as they hung out together like this. He could grow used to this.

He could grow used to those coffee dates after investigations, to clinging to Klavier’s waist as he drove them somewhere on his motorcycle (though Apollo could never get used to the dizziness once they reached their destination). He could grow used to Klavier’s flirtatious invitations to dinner, to sitting beside him as they watched movies together, to talking with him and holding his hand and…

“Hey, are you all right?” Klavier asked.

“Y-yes, I’m fine!” Apollo shouted far too loudly, averting his gaze away from Klavier.

“You’re squeezing my hand rather hard.”

“O-oh, sorry! I’ll stop, so-"

“It’s fine.” Klavier smiled at him, still not letting go of his hand.

God, he was so pretty.

“I just wanted to make sure you weren’t scared.”

“Oh.” Apollo finally registered what was happening on the screen. The leading lady was running desperately in the snow to catch up to her boyfriend, likely realizing that he was the one for her or something cheesy like that. “Klav, why the hell would I be scared by this?”

“She’s running in high heels; terrifying, ja?”

“It’s not scary, just stupid.”

“If you say so, Herr Forehead.”

He turned his attention back to the movie, but never let go of his hand. Apollo spent the duration of the film thinking about it.

By the time Apollo returned back to his apartment late that night, his heart was still pounding heavily in his chest. When he walked through the door, he noticed Clay was still awake, typing away at his laptop. This wasn’t that surprising; now that he had a job at the space center and had loads of training to do before he became an official astronaut, he had lots of work to do, even at home. Clay could be silly at times, but when he cared about something he never half-assed it.

“Young man, do you have any idea what time it is?” Clay asked, not even looking up from his laptop.

“Do you?” Apollo replied. Clay’s typing stopped abruptly.

“…Oh, wow. It’s already one am.” He said. Apollo said nothing and joined him on the couch. He kept gazing at his hand, imagining Klavier’s wrapped around it, and thinking about what he had said to him. Was he implying that he gave up everything just for him? No, that couldn’t be, right? There’s no way someone like Klavier would give up everything for someone like him! …Right?

“Oy, Apollo?” Clay asked, apparently for the second time. Apollo wasn’t sure; he had been too lost in his thoughts.

“Huh? What?”

“Did you and Klavier go out drinking again?”

“No, why?”

“You’re zoning out. Something happen?”

The word no was on the tip of his tongue, but he held back for now. If there was anyone he could talk to about this kind of thing, it’d be Clay. He had had to sit through a multitude of crushes Clay had gushed on and on about over the years, it was only fair that he returned the favor.

“Hey, Clay? Do you think…” He paused. No, this was a stupid idea. Hey Clay, I think I have a crush on a platinum album selling child prodigy rock star prosecutor! Think he likes me, a plain attorney who doesn’t even know how to swim or drive, back? How the hell would that be met with anything aside from laughter? “You know what? Never mind.”

“Well now I’m curious. What were you gonna say?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh come on! You can’t just leave me hanging like this!”

“It’s nothing!”

“Sure it is, Mr. I-Scratch-the-Back-of-My-Neck-When-Nervous.”

“What?” Apollo pulled his hand away from his neck in shock. Since when had Clay become so perceptive?

“You really didn’t know you did that?” Clay asked.

“No!”

“Well, that’s what happens when you tell me about everyone else’s nervous ticks all the time. Now I start looking for them!”

“I need to stop telling you everything that happens at work.”

“So you going to tell me what happened now?” Clay asked. Apollo just sighed, seeing that he had little choice.

“Do you… god, this is stupid.”

“Just tell me already.”

“Do you think... do you think I have a chance with Klavier?”

“Obviously.”

The immediate response hit him like a ton of bricks.

“What? Seriously? What makes you so sure?”

“You guys spend all your time together. He asks you out to dinner or coffee like, three times a week at least! Besides, have you seen the way he acts around you? He always has his arm around your shoulders.”

“You do that. You do all of that.”

“Yeah, but we’ve lived together since we were like twelve.” Clay replied, messing with his visor. “He’s known you for… what? Six months? Why else would he be doing all that?”

“Maybe that’s just how he acts around everyone. He’s really friendly.”

“I think he likes you. Didn’t he say that he’s 'never felt this way around a man before' when he first met you?”

“He… did, didn’t he?” Apollo groaned, running his hand through his hair. “He’s an enigma.”

“Well, it’s clear that he likes you at least. It wouldn’t hurt to try. At worst you two will still stay friends.”

“Ok but do I even have a chance? I mean, really? He had both a prosecuting and music career by the time he was seventeen!”

“Well, so what? That’s nothing.” Clay said, shutting his laptop so he could look Apollo in the eye. “You moved here as a little kid and had to learn English from scratch, yet you were never held back and managed to get better grades than I did.”

“Except in math.”

“Yeah, well, at least you tried. I never read a single book in English class and barely got a passing grade.”

“…True.”

“You survived all on your own for half a year when you were twelve!”

“That’s not really an achievement. And I nearly starved to death, too.”

“But you managed to survive. I think most kids in that situation wouldn’t be able to. And despite all that shit you went through, you’re still so sweet, and kind, and hard working and really, really strong. That’s an achievement. Who cares if you’re not a singer in a rock band? You’re capable of so much and honestly I can’t think of a single reason to dislike you. If Klavier doesn’t adore you then he doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

“Clay…” Honestly, Apollo felt like he might cry. “Thanks.”

“Of course. Now go ask him out! You’ll be fine!!”

Despite Clay’s motivating words, Apollo waited until the middle of January to come clean to Klavier. Part of it had to do with schedule. Klavier kept turning down invitations to hang out. Apollo couldn’t fault him for it; it was the holiday season and he was certain that Klavier was likely very busy. However, part of his postponing it was due to his nerves. He knew that Clay was right, that Klavier seemed to like him a lot already and worse come to worse they’d probably just have an awkward patch for a while but still remain friends. But… Apollo was still terrified. He had never dated anyone before; most all of his life he spent thinking that living here was temporary, that he’d be back in Khura’in soon enough, so it’d be best to wait before forming any important relationships. So here he was, nearly twenty-three, attempting to ask someone out on a date for the very first time. And this person just so happened to be a famous rock star prosecutor.

So, no pressure. None at all.

Apollo was sweating bullets by the time Clay dropped him off at the prosecutor’s office. He took the elevator to Klavier’s office on the fourteenth floor, and stayed far away from the windows as to not gaze at the nauseating view. Klavier’s door was cracked open a little, and from the hall Apollo could hear the sound of acoustic guitar coming from inside the room. He also noticed a piece of paper taped hastily to his door, which read:

Gavin,

If you’re going to play your guitar during work hours shut the door and keep it down, will you? The last time you did this it shook the building so much it knocked over one of my bookshelves. There’s no point in having a sound proof office if you’re going to keep the door open! Everyone in the building can hear you, you know! This is your last warning before your guitars are confiscated.

Sincerely,

Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth

And by extension the rest of the office.

Edgeworth’s normally clear and concise handwriting was rushed and messy; he must have been very angry when he wrote it. Apollo noticed that the last line was crossed out in different colored ink, and written just below it in the same color was:

Not all of us, I really like your music

-Sebastian

Apollo smiled at the letter. Somehow, he got the feeling that the prosecutors could be more fun than their stiff courtroom personas let on. He knocked on Klavier’s door and let himself in. Klavier looked distracted; he was multitasking by reading a letter from the stack of mail on his desk while idly strumming the strings of his guitar.

“Didn’t you read the sign?” Apollo asked abruptly.

“H-herr Forehead!” It seemed he had startled him, and he dropped the letter he was holding in surprise. Apollo just smirked.

“Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth told you to stop playing.”

“Nein, he told me to keep it down.” Klavier replied. “Even with the door open, I doubt he can hear acoustic from his office.”

“Well don’t blame me if he takes your guitars away. Also, who’s Sebastian?”

“He’s a coworker. We went to high school together, too.” Klavier said, putting his guitar back in its fancy case. “You’d like him. He’s really sweet. He cries a lot, too.”

Apollo wondered what the hell that was supposed to mean. He stooped over to pick up the letter Klavier had dropped but just as his fingers brushed the paper, Klavier swiped it away from him.

“What was that for?”

“It’s rude to snoop, Herr Forehead.”

“I was just trying to help.” He said nothing and shoved the letter into one of his drawers and shut it. “What was that about, anyways?”

“Angry fanmail.” Klavier sighed. “Turns out disbanding The Gavinners out of the blue left a lot of fans jaded. Who would have guessed?”

Apollo would’ve believed that if Klavier wasn’t touching his hair again.

“Anyways, what brings you to my office today?” Klavier asked before Apollo could say anything.

“O-oh, right!” Apollo straightened his back and cleared his throat. He could question Klavier about strange letters later. “I was wondering if you’d like to go to dinner with me? I figured, since it’s Friday, that maybe you’d be free…”

“It’s unusual for you to be the one to ask. What’s the occasion?”

“N-nothing! I just… missed you, I guess? Happy New Year, by the way.”

Klavier, who had looked a little uneasy since he had entered the room, smiled at that.

“Happy New Year, Herr Forehead.” He said with a smile. “And yes, I’d be happy to go.”

Instead of the fancy restaurants Klavier usually took them to, Apollo took them to a simple, family restaurant not too far from where he had grown up. It was the first restaurant Grandpa had taken him to in the U.S., and by extension the first restaurant he had ever been to. It was also the first place he had ever tried a burger; they didn’t have anything like it in Khura’in, and he really liked it. At the time, he couldn’t help but wonder if Nahyuta would like it too. Probably, Nahyuta wasn’t a picky eater; but he could also imagine him spilling barbecue sauce on himself and being absolutely appalled.

But right now, he couldn’t think about Nahyuta; he was too busy sweating bullets and gazing at Klavier from across the table as they talked, worrying that maybe this place was too informal for someone as cool as him and also he couldn’t stop marveling at how pretty Klavier’s long blonde hair was and he wondered if it was as soft as it looked and maybe he’d like to run his fingers through it sometime and no, no, he was staring at him now, and he’s smiling, and Apollo quickly took a swig from his beer to try and calm himself before he wound up screaming at him from across the table.

By the time Klavier drove them back to his apartment, Apollo had confessed nothing and he could practically hear Clay berating him for not going through with it later. Thankfully, Klavier offered to hang out with him for a bit after dinner. Apollo took a deep breath as he entered the apartment; it was now or never. Well… no, he’d probably have plenty of other chances in the future, but he had promised Clay and he wouldn’t hear the end of it if he didn’t at least try tonight.

“Thanks for taking me out.” Klavier said, sitting down on the couch. “It was nice.”

“Y-yeah, no prob.” Apollo replied, taking a seat beside him. “I know it wasn’t super fancy or anything, but my grandpa used to take me there all the time when I was little. I kinda like it.”

“Mmm… Forehead, you never did tell me why you lived with your grandpa.”

“Oh… that?” Apollo replied, running his hand over his bracelet. “It’s nothing huge. I didn’t have anywhere to go, so he took me in.”

“Didn’t have anywhere… why? What happened?”

“I was abandoned.”

Apollo noticed the look of horror on Klavier’s face and immediately regretting saying it. But… it was the truth. And Klavier did ask, so…

“…What?”

“When I was eight…” He decided to spare Klavier the extra-complicated details for now, “my, er, dad abandoned me here. He said he was gonna come back and get me as soon as he could. That was fourteen years ago.”

“I’m so sorry, Apollo.” Klavier said gently, wrapping his arm around Apollo’s shoulders. “I can’t imagine why anyone would do something like that to you.”

There it was: one of the rare occasions where Klavier actually called him by name. It sounded nice. Apollo found himself leaning against him; his touch was firm and reassuring, and he loved it.

“Eh, it’s in the past. I’m fine now…” He paused, and smiled up at Klavier. “Things have definitely gotten better. I’m not alone anymore. I’ve got Trucy, and Mr. Wright kinda, and Clay of course and… and…” God, he felt dizzy. Clay made it sound so easy when he had given him advice earlier. But it was now or never and Klavier, sweet, kind-hearted Klavier, was staring back at him, his pretty face looking wretchedly concerned and god, he really didn’t want to mess this up but he really wanted to say it too, so... “And you.”

Before Klavier could respond, Apollo placed his hand on Klavier’s and squeezed it gently.

“I like you. Mr. Gavin and Mr. Wright told me tons of stories about prosecutors being awful to the defense but… you worked with me, every time. You always do what’s right, no matter how painful it is and… I think I admire that. I admire you, Klavier. And I think I’d… um...” Was it always this hot in here? He still felt dizzy; how many beers did he have earlier to ‘calm himself down’? Ugh, that hadn’t worked. That hadn’t worked at all. But he had already said it so he might as well continue. “I think I’d like to stay by your side and be there for you, if you’ll let me, and… um…”

“Calm down, it’s okay.” Klavier finally said, squeezing Apollo’s hand in return. “I admire you too, Apollo.”

“You… you do?”

“Ja, of course.”

Klavier was smiling at him now, and Apollo felt his heart skip a beat. God, he was so pretty, and if he didn’t know any better, he’d say he noticed Klavier blushing a little bit. Could it really be this easy? Could a rock star prosecutor really care for him in turn? But as he gazed at Klavier’s lovely smile, those words kept repeating in his mind:

I admire you too, Apollo.

Klavier looked like he was about to say something else, but before he could Apollo kissed him. It caught Klavier by surprise and he slowly fell back onto the couch cushions as Apollo pressed against him. He kissed Apollo back though, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him closer. Apollo almost couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He was kissing Klavier, who was holding him in turn, and it was wonderful.

But just as quickly as it had begun, it ended.

“Wait.” Klavier said, puling away from him.

“What is it?” Apollo immediately backed off and looked at him, confused.

Klavier was staring back up at him, though his gaze seemed to be far off and unfocused, as if he were staring right through him. Klavier looked uneasy, and Apollo immediately felt guilty.

“Um, did I go too far? I-”

“S-sorry, Herr Forehead,” Klavier finally said, his voice a bit quiet, “it’s fine. I’m fine.”

Apollo’s bracelet clenched his hand so tightly he thought it might cut it off.

“Are you really okay?” He asked.

“…Look. Apollo, I like you. But we shouldn’t do this.”

Apollo didn’t even need the damn bracelet to see just how uneasy Klavier was. Apollo let go of him, shame washing over him. This was all wrong. He felt disgusting; what was wrong with him? Klavier clearly wasn’t interested; why did he kiss him like that?

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Nein, never. Just…” Klavier looked unsure of what to say and it made Apollo feel all the more guilty. Since when was the suave Klavier at a loss for words?

Apollo could only think of one other occasion; it had been when Kristoph was on the stand during the Misham case. And the thought of him being yet another person in Klavier’s life to hurt him that badly made his blood run cold. Oh, god, what had he done? Klavier said he admired him; he didn’t say anything about loving or even liking him! What was wrong with him?! He should’ve been more considerate of Klavier’s feelings; he should’ve known better, he should’ve realized that…

That he was bad luck.

That nothing good ever happened when he was around.

That no one wanted him, not even his own parents.

Why would Klavier be any different?

“I’m sorry.” Apollo stood up abruptly and backed away. Klavier didn’t like him back, and never would. And he was foolish for thinking he would, and disgusting for acting upon it. “I… I think I know what’s going on here.”

“You do?” Klavier replied nervously. There he was again, running his fingers through his hair, an uncertain smile on his face. God, why did he always have to smile, even when he was feeling his worst? Honestly, at the point Apollo would've preferred being yelled at; at least that way it was straight forward. 

“Yeah. I’m no good for you. I mean, we’re… coworkers. It’d be unprofessional…” Honestly, he was coming up with excuses more for himself than for Klavier.

“Ja... unprofessional.”

If the fact that Klavier’s uncertain look hadn’t changed at all was any indication, Apollo could assume that he still had yet to say the true reason. But whatever that reason was, Apollo figured that he didn’t want to hear it. Gee, what one of his many glaring flaws was the deal breaker? Was it how loud he was? Was it his hot-headedness? No, Klavier wasn’t that petty. Klavier was sweet; but realistically, just how sweet could one person be? Everyone had a breaking point. Apollo thought about what he had just told Klavier before kissing him, that he had been abandoned… god, who would want to hear that? Who the hell would want to be with a person with that much baggage?

No one wants you; not even your parents!

“I’m sorry, Herr Forehead.” Klavier said, pulling Apollo out of his thoughts.

“Stop. Don’t… don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong; you never have.” Apollo said. Klavier still looked so wretchedly uneasy, and all Apollo wanted to do was hug him. But no, he shouldn’t. Hadn’t he already hurt him enough? What was he even still doing here? “I shouldn’t have… Look, I’m gonna go. Just… forget what I did, okay? I’m… I’m sorry!”

Before Klavier could say anything else, Apollo turned and swiftly headed towards the door. As soon as he was outside, he ran. And with each heavy step he took, he could hear Nahyuta’s young accusing voice repeating itself in his mind, like the relentless pounding of a gavel declaring his guilt.

At twenty-three years old, Apollo buried himself in as much work as he could.

It was inevitable that he would have a little more to do now; Mr. Wright had just hired a new recruit for his law firm as well as gotten his own badge back, so for once the Wright Anything Agency had things to do. Not a lot, of course, but Apollo managed to make the most of it. Anything to take up his time. Any excuse that he could use whenever Klavier… er, Prosecutor Gavin, asked him if he wanted to get coffee.

It didn’t matter how many months had passed, Apollo still felt terribly guilty for what had happened. He had hurt Klavier; he had forced his feelings upon him and upset him and ruined any possibility of having a relationship with him. He wouldn’t be surprised if Klavier hated him by now! He’d hate him too, if he were in his shoes.

Yet despite what he had done, the few times they had seen one another since then, Klavier was still as kind and friendly as always. He even made it his business to help Apollo and Athena during the murder at Themis Academy. Apollo could tell he was nervous; he could always sense that, but Klavier was still kind nonetheless. Why? Shouldn’t he think he's horrible? Shouldn’t he hate him? Why would he still treat him like a friend, and ask him how he was doing, and ask if he needed any assistance on his various cases? What was wrong with him?

Despite the progress they had made just last year, Apollo felt like he understood him even less. His smile was so similar to his brother’s; it was more genuine than Kristoph’s, but just as unreadable. Apollo wished he could figure it out, but he just couldn’t. His heart still yearned for Klavier, and each time he saw him it’d skip a beat… but a horrible pit in his stomach prevented him from accepting any of Klavier’s invitations to hang out. He just felt so disgusting for what he had done. Klavier didn’t like him back, he never would, and to top things off Apollo had gone and hurt him like that. He sincerely hoped that Klavier would just forget about him, for his own sake.

He just wished he could forget about him, too. But try as he might, his thoughts kept popping back to that night. Klavier’s reaction… was that what most people did when someone they weren’t in to kissed them? He had kissed back for a little bit there. Was that just him playing along for his sake, or something else? And the way he had become so unresponsive, and his startled expression… god, Apollo hated thinking about it. He never wanted to see Klavier look that frightened ever again. After all he had been through, with all the trouble the past year had certainly caused him and his history of being manipulated courtesy of Kristoph, he really deserved the best.

And Apollo certainly wasn’t the best. In fact, he might just be the farthest thing from it.

Nothing good ever happens when you’re around!

Apollo couldn’t even bring himself to tell the stupid voice of Nahyuta’s that popped up in his mind to shut up anymore.

He was just thankful that he had Clay during all of this. After running quite a distance from Klavier’s apartment that night, Apollo had called him for a ride back home. And when he showed up, Clay – naïve, optimistic Clay – had asked him how it went Apollo wound up breaking down and sobbing the whole way back as he told him what happened. Clay had said nothing and just listened to what he had to say without judgment until his sobs turned into whimpers and they finally arrived back home.

Once they got inside, Apollo collapsed on the couch, drained but not exactly tired. Clay joined him soon after, with a tub of ice cream and two spoons in hand.

“Mr. Terran doesn’t like it when you do that.” Apollo grumbled. “He says it’s gross and you need to get a bowl.”

“Well, dad’s not here, is he? And I didn’t feel like doing any dishes.” Clay argued. “C’mon, have some. It’ll make you feel better.”

Apollo finally complied, and shoved a spoonful of strawberry ice cream into his mouth. Clay flipped on the T.V. and the two of them sat there for a while, staring at it but not exactly watching it as they ate their ice cream.

"Does this mean I have to delete The Guitar's Serenade off my phone?" Clay finally asked.

"...Why would you do that?"

"Klavier broke your heart. I'm not gonna play that song anymore if it reminds you-"

"It's fine, Clay. It's not even Klavier who's singing. Besides, I was the one who screwed it up."

“No you didn’t.”

“Yeah, I did. What was I thinking? No way in hell that someone like him would…”

“He’s an idiot.”

“No, he’s not. I’m an idiot. He was totally uninterested yet I still… god, what’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing. He wasn’t angry at you, right?”

“No, but he was pretty upset. My bracelet felt like it was going to break my wrist.”

“Still. You said he kissed you back.”

“Yeah, he did. For awhile, but… god, I fucked it up so bad.”

“No you didn’t. The only thing you did wrong was drinking so much. No offense, but you smell like shit.”

“I’m sure I do. I ran like a mile before calling you. I probably look like shit too.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair anxiously. “Hey, Clay?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think I’m bad luck?”

“Of course not. Why would you think that?”

“Nahyuta always used to say I was.”

“Well no offense but Nahyuta sounds like a dick.”

“He was six.”

“Even less of a reason to believe what he said.”

“I guess.”

Apollo could feel himself tearing up again. He tried to hide it by eating more ice cream, but Clay couldn't ignore the way his shoulders trembled. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“H-he also said that no one wanted me. And... Klavier just proved that-”

“Well Klavier doesn’t know what he’s missing out on!”

“It’s not just him! Dhurke, my own mom, they both-”

“Apollo, stop.” Clay hugged him, pulling him close to his chest. “Mr. Wright wanted you, didn’t he? He chose you specifically when you were out of a job.”

“I guess.”

“And Trucy? Trucy loves you! She wouldn’t invite you to all her magic shows if she didn’t want you around!”

“Yeah…”

“…I want you, too.” Clay said, idly stroking Apollo’s hair.

“I know. You’ve always been there for me. You’re my best friend.”

“Yeah... I am.”

Apollo could sense the slightest bit of tension when he said that, but he was far too tired to question him on it now. He nuzzled against Clay’s chest a little closer and shut his eyes, feeling comfortable.

“So,” Clay continued, “if you ever worry that any of those shitty things Nahyuta said to you are true, just remember that I’m here, okay? And I think everything he said was bullshit.”

“What if I piss you off?”

“I piss you off all the time, too. At this point I don’t think you could do anything that would make me hate you.”

“Thanks, Clay.”

Apollo still felt horrendously guilty, but with Clay’s help, he tried to stay happy and optimistic, and look on the bright side. Things would… certainly get better from here on out. He just needed to stop dwelling on things that wouldn’t happen and focus on what good things were to come. Mr. Wright had just hired Athena, and she seemed really cool thus far; Apollo was looking forward to working on more cases with her. Mr. Wright had just gotten his badge back too, and he couldn’t wait to see the Legendary Phoenix Wright in action… without jumping the witness stand for once. Trucy’s magic career was soaring, and there were even rumors that she may be getting a T.V. deal sometime soon. Trucy wouldn’t give him the details but if the smug grin on her face was any indication, the chances were high.

And of course, he was excited for Clay.

After years of hard work and rigorous training, it had all finally paid of. At the end of this year, Clay was to finally be in a launch of his own, and Apollo couldn’t be happier for him. Clay had had this dream of being an astronaut far longer than Apollo could remember. Clay deserved this, and he loved the way his eyes would sparkle as he talked on and on about how cool it would be, how this was finally happening, and holy shit, Apollo, it’s really happening isn’t it, this is amazing! No matter how down in the dumps Apollo got about the events of the past year and his failed relationship with Klavier, seeing Clay’s optimism easily lifted his mood.

He was so thankful that he had Clay. Sweet, wonderfully optimistic Clay always seemed to know exactly what to do to cheer him up. Honestly, as nearly a year passed since his screw up with Klavier, he was starting to feel a bit better about things. He knew things would be all right eventually. So long as he had Clay by his side, he was sure he could bounce back from anything.

On one chilly December night, Clay drove Apollo out to Grandpa’s old home. It had honestly been awhile since the two of them had gone here. Clay had just gotten busier and busier at the space center and now that Apollo’s job was fairly stable at the Wright Anything Agency, he found himself getting busy for once too. But Clay made it his business to come out here tonight. It would be the last night the two of them would see each other for a while, after all. Tomorrow, Clay was set to finally, finally touch the stars, just like he had dreamt of for all these years. But he was sure that he’d be gone for a while, so he wanted to make the most of his last night on Earth. 

“Are you sure we should be out this late?” Apollo asked, lying back in the cold grass.

“Probably not,” Clay replied, laying down beside him, “but I don’t care. I wanted to watch the stars with you one last time before I go.”

“You won’t be gone that long.”

“Six months is a really long time, though! We’ve never spent that much time apart!”

“Yeah, I know…” He was happy for Clay, really, but he was going to really miss him when he left. He couldn’t even begin to imagine just how quiet the apartment would be without Clay's booming voice. At least it would only be temporary. 

“I’m gonna miss you.”

“Me too, Clay.”

There was silence for a moment while the two just gazed at the beautiful starry sky above them, as they had done many times before in the past. There was something bittersweet knowing it would be the last time for quite a while.

“We’ve come a long way, haven’t we?”

“Yeah, I guess we have.”

The first time he had come out here with Clay, he was twelve and still severely underweight and he had spent most of their time searching for any sign that Dhurke had been there. He had checked the living room table many times since leaving that note there in middle school, but aside from removing the dust that caked on it as the years passed, nothing ever changed. By the time he was in high school, he stopped checking inside entirely.

He remembered lying beside Clay like this the night before his very first trial. Despite reaching his goals, he had been nervous as hell, and spent the whole night thinking about every possible way things could go wrong. Yet somehow, what really happened that day was a different sort of wrong he couldn’t even begin to imagine. Honestly, Apollo couldn’t believe that had only been about a year ago. In a single year, he had managed to prove his boss guilty of murder twice, he had learned to hate his former idol before helping him return to his former glory, he befriended his new boss' daughter who became like a sister to him, he became friends with his old boss’ younger brother… then he fell in love with him, and completely screwed that up.

He shook his head; he didn’t want to think about Klavier right now. He should be happy; tomorrow was Clay’s big day, and he was happy for him! Happy, Justice, be happy!

“Hey, Apollo? I was wondering…” Clay trailed off when a shooting star crossed the sky. “Wait, make a wish!”

This had happened many times in the past, too. Last time, Apollo remembered on that night about a year ago, he had wished that Nahyuta was okay. Despite his bitterness towards Dhurke and his old home, he didn’t want anything bad happening to him. But today, his mind wasn’t on Nahyuta. It was on…

I wish that Klavier will live a happy life.

Honestly, he did. Despite the fact that he had been rather cold towards him this past year, he still cared about him, greatly. He just… didn’t want to hurt him ever again, and he knew keeping his distance was the best way to do that. He wished for nothing but happiness for Klavier, even if that happiness was without him.

“What’d you wish for, Apollo?”

“I’m not telling you.” Apollo heard Clay grumble a little. “If I tell you, it won’t come true. You’re the one who told me that.”

“I guess that’s true. But the thing I always wished for came true, so now I can tell you about it.”

“Did you wish to become an astronaut?”

“Yeah. On every shooting star I saw, I wished to finally go to space myself.” Clay stretched his hand out, as if he were really grasping the stars in it. “And tomorrow, it’s finally happening.“

“You shouldn’t have told me that.” Apollo replied. “I mean, the launch isn’t until tomorrow. There’s still time for something to go wrong now that I know.”

“Oh c’mon, don’t even say that! It’ll be fine. I’ve trained super hard and I know what I’m doing. So does Mr. Starbuck. We’ll be fine. I’m not worried, and you shouldn’t be either.”

“I’m just messing with you.” Apollo replied. “You’re gonna do great; I’m sure of it.”

“…I wished for something different today.” Clay said, after a brief pause.

“If you tell me what it is, it won’t come true.” Apollo said again.

“Maybe.” Clay sat up. “But you know, wishing is only half of it. If you work towards it you can make any of your wishes come true.”

“I guess.” Apollo thought about the wish he had just made, realizing bitterly that Klavier would be far happier without his involvement.

“Hey, Apollo?” Clay asked. “…You wanna know what I wished for tonight?”

“To meet aliens during your trip tomorrow?”

”That’s a really close second, but no.”

“What was it then?”

“Um…” Clay looked uncharacteristically nervous.

“Clay?” Apollo asked, sitting up too. Clay took both of Apollo’s hands in his, and he noticed he was shaking. Apollo also noticed he was blushing a little, too. “Look, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t-”

“I... um... I love you!” Clay shouted, effectively silencing him.

There was silence for a moment as the two of them just stared at each other, equally perplexed. Even in the darkness Apollo could see how flushed he had become.

“I… um…” Clay continued, awkwardly messing with his visor. “I have for a really long time now and I’ve wanted to say it but it never seemed like the right time and I always got too nervous but… um… I really like you, you’re like one of the strongest people I’ve ever met and no matter what you go through you always hold your head up high and I really admire that and you always care so much about others, like, all the time, even in middle school when you were nearly starving to death you took the time to talk to me and make me feel better even though you were going through so much yourself and I appreciate it so much you’ve always been there for me and I wanna be there for you too if I can and I’m sorry for telling you now you’re probably still upset about Klavier but I’ve been holding this back for years now and I figured now was the best time to finally tell you because I might not see you for a while because of the launch and… and…!”

“Clay, relax!” Apollo finally said as Clay caught his breath. “It’s fine.”

“Y-you’re not mad?”

“No, I’m not mad. I’m just… surprised.” Apollo said, blushing himself. “How… long have you felt like this?”

“A while… Like, since middle school, I think.”

“Since middle school?!” Apollo exclaimed. “You waited that long to tell me?”

“Yeah, well… I kinda assumed you were gonna go to Khura’in any day now. I didn’t wanna force my feelings on you and make it more difficult for you to go. And after you decided to stay… well, I figured you wouldn’t like me back, so… “

“But haven’t you had a crush on like, a million other people?”

“I get crushes on people easily, alright?! But the one on you has never gone away!” He paused, averting his gaze away. “I kinda figured, now or never, right? …Uh. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“N-no, it’s fine!” Apollo replied. “I just never thought you’d care about me like that.”

“Of course I would! Remember that time in middle school when you passed out? I was so scared of losing you that I started crying, and I only knew you for like a month!” Clay grabbed his hands again, gentler this time. “Apollo… I love you. You’re my best friend, and I’ve loved every second we’ve spent together. I want to be by your side for the rest of my life if… if I can…” He glanced away again, his face red from embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I’m messing this up, I’m…”

“Clay, it’s all right.” Apollo replied, squeezing his hands gently.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, of course. I mean...” Apollo cared about him deeply. He wasn’t quite sure if it was love yet. But… he knew it certainly could be. He loved Clay a lot, in his own way. Honestly, he was the most consistent person in his entire life. He had been with him longer than Grandpa, or Mr. Wright, or Klavier or even Dhurke and Nahyuta… Honestly, he couldn’t imagine life without him. They knew everything about each other; thus far, Clay was the only one who knew about Dhurke and Khura’in, he was the only one who knew about Grandpa and Apollo’s situation after his death and he was the only one who knew about his mistakes with Klavier. And for every single one of those instances, Clay had been there for him, to listen to him, to reassure him, to give him advice or simply just hold him, if he needed it. He was a wonderful, optimistic ray of light that was there for him, even during the darkest of times, and he loved him for it. “I like you too, Clay.”

Before he could say anything else, Clay tilted Apollo’s chin up slowly and kissed him. The kiss was gentle, and Apollo could tell he was still nervous. Clay’s hand was still shaking heavily as it cupped his face. Honestly, it was cute; he had never seen Clay so nervous before. Apollo reached out and ran his fingers through Clay’s fluffy soft hair. It was nice. This was nice.

“My wish,” Clay said, after finally pulling away, “was to go on a date with you once I come back.”

“That’s it?” Apollo chuckled. “I thought that was to be expected. You promised the same for me after my very first case.”

“Yeah, well, I mean an actual date. Not just two friends getting dinner. I want it to be romantic, we’re gonna dress up all nice, I’m gonna hold your hand the whole time-”

“How are you going to eat, then?”

“We’ve got two hands for a reason, Apollo.” As if to prove his point, he held Apollo’s hand again. “So… what do you say?”

Apollo just smiled, pressing his forehead against Clay’s.

“I say that wish will definitely come true.”

They headed home shortly after that; it had gotten too cold out for the two of them to stay much longer. Clay held Apollo’s hand the entire drive back, even though Apollo told him it was dangerous. Clay didn’t seem to care; it seemed he wanted to be as affectionate as he could in what little time he had left before the launch.

Like right now.

The moment they got inside the apartment Clay began kissing his cheek and his neck, hugging him from behind as Apollo fumbled with his keys so he could lock the door behind them.

“Clay-” Apollo laughed, Clay’s lips on his neck tickled a little. “Clay, come on. You have to get up early tomorrow.”

“I’m not gonna see you for a long time. I want to make the most of it.” Clay said, kissing his forehead again. “Unless… you want me to stop? ‘Cause I will, if you want me to.”

“Hmm…” He would love to spend more time kissing his best friend - no, his boyfriend - but he knew it would be irresponsible to keep Clay up all night. Especially since he had such a big day ahead of him. “Let's go to bed for now. You're gonna need your rest for tomorrow.”

"I can rest when I'm in space."

"With that attitude and you won't even make it out of the space center tomorrow."

Clay pouted, so Apollo grabbed his hand and kissed his cheek.

"C'mon. We'll have all the time in the world once you get back."

"I guess you're right." 

Apollo was about to say something else but before he could, Clay kissed him again and hoisted him into his arms. His astronaut training had clearly paid off; he carried Apollo easily and didn’t break the kiss as he headed to their bedroom. 

He fell asleep in Clay’s arms that night, and while he knew that he would miss him greatly while he was in space, he relaxed easily knowing he had plenty of nights like this look forward to once Clay came back. He just wished he had realized earlier just how enamored Clay was with him. Suddenly Clay placing his arm around his shoulders whenever they talked made a little more sense to him. He supposed he should've realized that Clay would be a super affectionate person as well because of it. It would have been nice to have known a bit sooner. Apollo kinda liked the affection Clay had showered him in. Even now, as Clay slept away beside him, he still had his arm wrapped around him and was holding him close. Apollo loved it. For the first in a long while, he felt wanted. Maybe he could let himself actually believe that Nahyuta's words didn't hold any merit to them. 

And even if he didn't believe it yet, he was certain that there would be many opportunities to come for Clay to prove him wrong. 

“Apollo?”

Apollo stirred, cracking an eye open. He and Clay didn’t get home until late the night before, and honestly he was exhausted. That, and it was incredibly early. He noticed it was still dark outside. Despite that, Clay was already completely dressed and looked ready to go.

“Hey… um… sorry to wake you up,” Clay said, rubbing his shoulder gently, “I just wanted to say goodbye before I go.”

“Mmm… okay…” Apollo mumbled, shutting his eyes again.

“Alright, well… I’m gonna go. I’ll see you at the launch, yeah? Well… probably not… I’m gonna be on a rocket, so…”

Apollo just yawned in his groggy state.

“Oh wait, before I go.” Clay leaned down, kissing Apollo’s forehead gently. “I love you.”

“Mmkay…”

“God, you’re so cute.” Clay kissed him one last time. “All right! Going now! I love you and I’ll see you soon!”

Apollo said nothing in response, drifting off to sleep again as Clay shut the door behind him for the very last time. Apollo rolled over, instinctually reaching for Clay in his half-asleep mindset, but he found nothing. 

When Apollo woke up a couple hours later, he realized that the launch was in about twenty minutes, and he was running late. He quickly got dressed and rushed out the door, hoping he could bike fast enough to reach the space center in time. He knew Clay wouldn’t let him hear the end of it if he missed the launch; besides, what sort of boyfriend would he be should he let that happen? He pushed onwards, no matter how much his legs ached as he hurried. By the time he arrived at the space station, he was quite a bit behind schedule. But if the large crowd standing before the building was any indication, he hadn’t missed it.

Or... had he?

As he drew closer, he realized that there were police cars and an ambulance parked outside of the building. Not only that, but the crowd seemed to be running away from the building, not going in. And, to his horror, Apollo noticed that large, thick clouds of black smoke were billowing out of the space center building. What…. What the hell happened?

“H-hey!!” Apollo exclaimed, trying to get someone’s attention. “Hey, what happened?!”

No one paid him any mind. Too many people were frantically heading the other way. But as he pushed through the crowd, bits and pieces of the story began to fall into place as he listened to the panicked whispers and gossip around him.

A bomb went off!

Was someone trying to sabotage the launch?

Who would do that?

I heard it was one of the astronauts. I saw him getting handcuffed!

What happened to the other one, then?

Apollo parted from the crowd when he saw someone being lead towards a police car. He would recognize that pointy red hair anywhere.

“Mr. Starbuck! Mr. Starbuck!” Apollo shouted. He noticed that Mr. Starbuck looked rather pale and groggy, but the sight of Apollo frantically running towards him seemed to wake him up a little.

“Apollo? Hey!” He exclaimed. As Apollo drew closer, he noticed Mr. Starbuck’s hands were indeed in cuffs.

“Mr. Starbuck, what happened? Where’s Clay?!” Apollo asked desperately. “What’s going on?!”

“Apollo, I-” The cops leading him away shoved him to go faster. “Apollo, I don’t know what happened, but I didn’t… I would never hurt him…!”

Apollo was forced to stay back by a couple of officers, and before Mr. Starbuck could elaborate further he was forced into the back of the police car, and it drove away. Apollo was now on the verge of panicking. Why was Mr. Starbuck arrested? Did that have something to do with the bombing? He couldn’t be behind it, could he? No, of course not! Apollo knew him well; he was nice. He could be a little stressed out and gloomy at times, but he meant well. He would never do something like bomb the space center! But that just left him with even more questions than answers. Why had he been arrested? Who actually set up the bombs? And where the hell was Clay? Shouldn’t the two of them have been together?

“Clay?” Apollo cried, running through the crowd again. “Clay, where are you?!”

The entrance was barricaded off, and more people were still being evacuated out. However, for the most part the crowd was thinning. Clay had to be among them. Clay had to be here somewhere, he just knew it! But all of the faces in the crowd were unfamiliar, and he couldn’t find any signs of poofy black hair or his trademark visor anywhere.

Just when he considered going back out towards the street to check again, he noticed the crowd before him parting as a couple of paramedics exited the building, pulling out someone on a stretcher. Apollo grimaced at the sight of it. It seemed someone had been hurt, and hurt bad. As they grew closer, however, Apollo noticed that the body being transported had a white sheet draped over it. It made Apollo’s blood run cold. This… was worse than it looked, wasn’t it? Someone here had actually died!

And that’s when Apollo slowly began to put the pieces together. This hadn’t just been an accident. Mr. Starbuck had been arrested, claiming that he would never hurt him. Mr. Starbuck and Clay were supposed to be together during the launch today. If Mr. Starbuck was alone, and accused of the crime to boot, then that meant that Clay was…

No.

No, it had to be something else.

Someone else had been unlucky enough to get caught up in the explosion.

Clay had to have been lost in the crowd somewhere.

There was no way that… that…

Despite his attempts to reassure himself otherwise, Apollo found himself following the paramedics and their stretcher. Just like the police, they wouldn’t let him get very close. But he had to know for sure. He just had to.

“Please,” Apollo said desperately, “who is that? Tell me!”

Of course, he was ignored; with all of the panic and confusion in the crowd they didn’t have time to listen to some random stranger desperately asking them questions. Apollo persisted nonetheless, following the paramedics as best as he could while police officials held him back. He gazed at the stretcher and as it was loaded into the ambulance, the white sheet moved aside just a little, revealing a thick tuft of fluffy black hair.

And just like that, everything seemed to go blank for him.

Apollo felt as if some sort of weight was holding him down, dulling his thoughts and senses as he simply drifted through the events that followed. He didn't cry like he had in the past when he had lost people, nor did he scream like he had when he had encountered bodies at rather grisly crime scenes. Unlike those past incidents, this didn't feel real. It couldn't be real. He had been in Clay's arms just a few hours ago, lulled to sleep by the gentle staccato of his heartbeat. How could he be gone, just like that? It had happened all too quickly and Apollo simply shut down; he couldn't process it. It was like he was working on autopilot, his body pulling him forward as his mind still tried understand what had just happened. 

He didn’t remember leaving the space center, and biking tirelessly after the ambulance for miles upon miles on end.

He didn’t remember telling the police to let him through, informing them that yes, he had the right to see the victim and no, he wasn’t his brother but please, please, just let me through, I’m his boyfriend, all right? That’s enough, isn’t it? Isn’t that enough?!

He didn’t remember pacing around in one of the drab waiting rooms waiting for Mr. Terran to arrive, feeling as though he was eleven and helpless and frightened off his wits again as the only stable person in his life slipped away for good.

He didn’t remember joining Mr. Terran as he was told to identify the body of his own child and he didn’t remember taking Mr. Terran’s hand for both their sakes as they gazed at Clay’s pale face, his eyes shut in permanent sleep, and Mr. Terran had to admit that yes, this was his son, his own son that he had raised on his own for years, dead before him on a cold metal table.

He didn’t remember coming back home that night, or eating anything or falling asleep and honestly he wasn’t sure if he had even done any of those things.

He didn’t remember showing up for work the next day, pretending he was fine, dragging Athena with him to the investigation, forcing himself to swallow his doubts and wrap his face up in bandages as he noticed the way his bracelet tightened when he talked about the case with her because god, no, after losing Clay he couldn’t stand to lose yet another friend to this damn case and it couldn’t have been her behind it right that couldn't be it there had to be another reason there had to be it can't be her that would be too cruel it would be too much soon and he was overwhelmed and his head hurt and his heart ached thinking about it and he wanted to scream because this was too much it was too much this was all too damn much!

But nonetheless he pushed himself further and harder and didn't let himself stop to rest or mourn or think or process anything because he owed Clay that much to keep going and if he stopped he might actually have to think about what had happened. 

Apollo was forced to come back down to reality when he awoke in the hospital for the second time a few days later feeling groggy, sore, and utterly exhausted. When he had woken up in the hospital for the first time after the explosion, he had discharged himself pretty quickly. Honestly, he wasn’t sure why he had done it at first; he had still been going on autopilot, not stopping, never resting, just simply going and going and doing everything he possibly could to find the truth of all of this and determine what had happened to Clay. Determining the truth and finding the monster that had done something so horrible to his sweet, beloved Clay was all that mattered.

But now that Apollo was laying on a hospital bed, gazing up at the ceiling with his one un-bandaged eye, his head pounding from when he had been bludgeoned, his body weak and aching still from the aftermath of the explosion, he found he had no choice but to lay there and finally slow down and think about… everything.

Clay was gone.

That, he knew for certain. He had known it for days now. He had been there with Mr. Terran to identify the body days earlier so he wouldn’t have to do it alone. He had been there, staring as his best friend - no, his boyfriend - lay motionless in a chilly, sterile room. He had stared at the cold, stiff hands that had been warm and soft in his own when he had held them a day beforehand. He had stared at Clay's lifeless, pale face when just hours earlier it had been flushed red as he nervously told him that he loved him. He had stared and stared and stared until Mr. Terran gave the somber affirmation that this was indeed Clay Terran deceased in front of them and the sheet was pulled over Clay's face for the final time. 

Clay was gone. Clay was gone, he was gone, he was gone, and yet…

It still felt like he was here. While Apollo had worked tirelessly these past few days to find the truth of the case, he had kept expecting for Clay to show up, for Clay to scold him for working himself to the bone without any breaks, he expected Clay to laugh at him when he saw the makeshift eye patch he had, telling him that he should just talk to Athena rather than dress himself up like a pirate. Even now, as he lay here aching in the empty hospital room, he thought Clay would come in at any instant, completely distraught with worry like he had been when Apollo collapsed in middle school.

It didn’t matter how long Apollo stared at the door; Clay never came in.

And Apollo wasn’t twelve and starving anymore, he was twenty-three and absolutely pathetic. How could he be so careless as to let himself get assaulted like that? In fact, why had he listened to Athena and let her take over the case today? It should’ve been him there defending Juniper like he had promised! He should be in that courtroom right now, solving Clay’s murder! What the hell was he doing here laying around uselessly? He needed to do this! For Clay’s sake!

Apollo groaned loudly as he attempted to sit up, but the pain in his reopened wounds was overwhelming and he found himself collapsing back down onto the mattress. He was beginning to grow agitated. Clay needed him. He needed to solve Clay’s murder. He needed to. It was the least he could do for the only consistent person he had ever had in his life. So, why? Why couldn’t he even move? Why was he so pathetic that he couldn’t even do the bare minimum for someone who had done him so much?

Clay…

Clay had been there for him ever since he was in middle school. If it weren’t for Clay, he probably wouldn’t even be alive right now. He would’ve starved to death or gotten sick and died; he would’ve wasted away as some pathetic, forgotten kid that no one had wanted in the empty home of someone he hadn't been able to save. Clay had saved him again and again, honestly. After that horrible first case, Clay had cheered him up; giving him a back rub and taking him out to dinner and reassuring him that better would come along until it finally had. Clay had ignored his own feelings and given Apollo advice when he had gotten a crush on Klavier, and Clay had been with him when he had utterly screwed that up, offering him ice cream and holding him as he wept onto his shoulder. He had grown up with Clay, and the two of them would talk the nights away, gazing at the starry sky and wishing on comets that flew past, ready for anything that the future threw at them because they knew, no matter what, that they’d always have each other.

Clay was so kind, so caring, so wonderful… and for what? All of that for him to die; stabbed in cold blood on the day his dreams were supposed to be coming true.

And Apollo hadn’t even been there on time for the damn launch.

The more he thought about it the more upset he became. Apollo couldn’t help but think back to the night just before the launch, the night Clay had finally confessed to him, his face flushed and his hands shaking as he kissed him under the starlight. He thought about the very next morning, when Clay had awoken him to wish him one final goodbye. He had kissed him and told him he loved him then too, hadn’t he? Apollo’s head was pounding as he tried to remember.

God, what was wrong with him? Clay had told him he loved him; he had woken him up just to tell him that, and he had kissed him, telling him that he loved him again and again. And what did he do in response? He had groaned and gone back to bed. …Why? What the hell was wrong with him? Why didn’t he say he loved him in turn? Why didn’t he say anything to him? It was the last time he would ever talk with Clay and all he did was ignore him and sleep!

Apollo knew it was foolish, but he couldn’t help but wonder that if he had said something… maybe things would have turned out differently. If he had said something instead of letting him go, if he had woken up and kissed him back and told him, I’ll see you later, Clay, I love you, I’ll miss you, come home soon… maybe… just maybe… he would have. But he didn’t, he said nothing, he gave him no reason to return and Clay had gone off and died, proving once again that…

You’re bad luck!

Shut up, Nahyuta, Apollo thought, squeezing his eyes shut.

Nothing good ever happens when you’re around!

Apollo brought his hands up to his ears, as if he could block out the intrusive thoughts that way.

No one wants you; not even your parents!

That’s not true, Apollo thought frantically, stop it, stop it, that’s not true, Clay wanted me, Clay loved me, he wanted me for sure!

…Yeah, and look what happened to him.

Apollo slammed his fist into the mattress, his thoughts overwhelming him. He winced at the pain that shot through his arm at the action, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Why should he care that he was in pain? At least he was alive to feel it. Besides, it was a distraction. Anything to get him away from his thoughts, from the realization that all the things he said that day were true, anything to stop the tears welling up in his eyes as the weight of everything that had been piling upon on his shoulders threatened to crush him.

Just as Apollo was about to cry out, he heard footsteps just outside of his room, as well as people talking.

“So you’re a friend of Mr. Justice’s?”

Apollo recognized that to be the friendly nurse he had met the last time he was hospitalized here. She had looked curiously at the bandage on his clearly uninjured eye, but he didn’t tell her, and she didn’t ask.

“Ja, I am.”

Apollo would recognize that voice anywhere. Even now, it made his heart flutter a little.

“Wow, I never would’ve guessed he was friends with a famous rock star!”

“You flatter me, fräulein.” Klavier chuckled. “But I’m afraid I’m just a simple prosecutor now.”

As if anything about him was simple, Apollo thought.

Apollo heard the handle on his door rattle, but it stopped abruptly.

“…How is he?” Klavier asked nervously.

“He’s holding up all right. But he’d be doing better if he hadn’t left the hospital so quickly after the explosion.” Even from here Apollo could detect the bitterness in her usually chipper voice. “Honestly, what kind of person rips their IV out and leaves only hours after surviving a bombing?”

“I’m sure he had his reasons. Herr For- I mean, Herr Justice can be quite the passionate guy, ja?”

“Passionate or not you can’t just do that.” She sighed. “Listen, last time I checked, Mr. Justice was still resting. If he tries to get up and leave again, can you stop him?”

“Anything for you.”

The door opened and Apollo quickly shut his eyes, feigning sleep. He didn’t want to talk to Klavier. Not right now, at least. Not when he still felt so conflicted and confused about him, not when he was still so worried about hurting him again, and not when he knew, deep down, that he still loved him… which made him feel all the more guilty for poor Clay, who had spent over half of his life loving him, only to die without ever hearing him say, I love you, too.

“Good afternoon, Herr Forehead.” Klavier said gently. Apollo didn’t reply, breathing deeply as he pretended to sleep. “…Ach, you’re asleep. Perhaps I should have stopped by a little later…” He heard Klavier place something down on the table beside him. “I brought you flowers. I hope you like roses. That beautiful, passionate red has always reminded me of you.”

Apollo wondered if Klavier ever considered taking up a career in writing greeting cards.

He heard the sound of a chair being dragged across the floor towards the bed. Klavier sat down, his chain belt jangling as it hit the chair. Even while visiting the hospital he hadn’t taken the bling off. Apollo could already visualize Ema’s heavy sigh at that bit of information.

“Herr Wright and Fräulein Athena were able to solve the case, you know. I’m sure they’ll tell you all about it themselves when they get here, though. But they’re getting noodles first. You know how the Wright Anything Agency works. Besides, they wanted you to rest, so…” Klavier explained. “Fräulein Juniper was innocent, of course. And that monster who did this to you will swiftly be put away.”

Apollo couldn’t help but notice the biting tone in his usually calm voice when he said monster.

“Apollo…” Klavier reached forward, gently brushing some loose strands of hair off of his face. His fingers lingered for a moment just above Apollo’s makeshift bandage. “Why would anyone ever want to hurt you?”

Klavier’s hand was trembling. It was almost enough to make Apollo open his eyes. Was… Klavier really this upset for him? Why? He of all people should have a reason to dislike him. Yet here he was, worrying over him as if they were anything more than awkward acquaintances.

“…I should go. Wouldn’t want to wake you with my all my talking, ja?” It sounded like Klavier left something else on the table, but he couldn’t quite make out what. He didn’t have time to think about it however, because Klavier soon grabbed his hand, and squeezed it gently. “Auf wiedersehen, schatzi.”

Apollo waited until a few minutes had passed before opening his eyes again. Klavier was long gone so he finally, slowly sat up and checked the bedside table next to him. As promised, Klavier had dropped off roses. What Apollo wasn’t expecting was the sheer size of them. The pretty vase they were in nearly took over the entire table, and there were easily more than fifty roses.

Glimmerous fop, part of him thought.

I love him, thought another.

Yeah, but he doesn’t love you.

No one wants you!

With that intrusive thought courtesy of Nahyuta, he shook his head and looked at the other thing Klavier left on the table. It was a small note, folded in half. The text on the top said Apollo instead of his usual Herr Forehead. Inside it read:

Mein dearest forehead,

I hope you feel better soon. Fräulein Trucy informed me of what happened and I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I know you and Herr Terran were very close. The few times I met him he seemed very lovely.

Listen, I understand why you broke out of the hospital. I understand that you’re adamant to find your best friend’s killer. But please… don’t overdo it. Everyone’s really worried about you, and we’re afraid you’re going to push yourself too hard. Please… if you need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to call me. And if you don’t want to talk to me, I understand. I’m sure Herr Wright or Fräulein Athena or even Fräulein Trucy would be more than happy to listen to you.

Take care of yourself, schatzi, please.

-Klavier

There was that word again: schatzi. Apollo wondered what it meant, but was too lazy to look it up. Knowing him, it was probably the German word for forehead or something.

Regardless, he reread the letter many times. Klavier’s words were sweet, but… he knew them to be untrue. Why would he want to hear about his problems when he had hurt him so badly in the past? And why would any of his friends at the agency want to hear about this either? Mr. Wright had just gotten his badge back; he had enough to worry about as it was. Athena… she was his friend, maybe, but his bracelet tightened whenever she talked about anything regarding this case and… god, he hated to admit it, but he couldn’t trust her. Not yet, anyways. And Trucy… sweet Trucy, of course she’d want to hear about his problems; she had offered to before, after all. But she was a child; he couldn't put all of this on her shoulders. That and he didn’t want to worry her, or any of them. Besides, a nagging thought in the back of his mind prevented him from doing so.

He was bad luck, nothing good ever happened when he was around, no one wanted him…

Surely they would come to realize this should he share his little sob story with them. What would they even do when they heard what he had done? His best friend had died, and he hadn’t even been there on time to see him off, he hadn’t gone in the building with him where he maybe could’ve done something, he… he hadn’t even said goodbye to him, or that he loved him.

No, he couldn’t tell them. They’d think he was pathetic.

Which he was.

“I’m sorry, Prosecutor Gavin.” Apollo said, placing the note back on the table. Clay had loved him, and he had let him down. This was his battle to fight on his own. He’d find Clay’s killer on his own, no matter what it took. He owed him that much at least.

Apollo bit back a pained groan as he ripped the IV chord from his arm for the second time this week. He was sure his injuries would reopen again soon enough, but he’d cross that bridge when he came to it. Finding Clay’s killer was of the most importance. He quickly changed back into his normal clothes and slipped Clay’s tattered jacket on. He pushed through his grogginess and headed into the hallway. The stairwell wasn’t far from here, and he knew where one of the lesser-used exits was. Perhaps one day he’d leave the hospital after being discharged properly instead of sneaking out, but at least this time he wasn’t a little kid escaping through a window.

Apollo thought he’d feel better once Clay’s killer was found, and maybe he did, a little.

He was happy that the Phantom was put away, that the person who had caused so much grief to so many, who had severely traumatized Athena, who had nearly caused Blackquill to be executed and who had killed Clay in cold blood was gone and couldn’t hurt another soul. But… there was still something missing.

Once the truth came out and the case was closed, Apollo had celebrated along with everyone else. His wounds had managed to heal a little, and as he joined Athena, Trucy and Mr. Wright for noodles, the mood was jovial, just like it had been for every other successful case at the Wright Anything Agency. Everyone had hugged Trucy the moment she returned to them safe and sound, and she just laughed, telling them that it had been fun and she had spent the whole time entertaining other hostages. Apollo had hugged Athena, apologizing for suspecting her, and she had squeezed him tight in return, apologizing for lying herself. They determined that as a whole, everyone at the agency needed to get better about telling the truth and not hiding their feelings. Apollo had agreed with her, his bracelet nearly breaking his wrist as he said so.

It had been a joyous night; and that just made it all the more dismal when he returned to what used to be his and Clay’s apartment and found it empty.

“Hey Clay, I’m…” The word home died on his lips as the afterglow of the not guilty verdict and spending time with his friends had suddenly and abruptly worn off. Apollo shut the door behind him, finding himself all alone here for what felt like the first time in ages.

Apollo knew he had been home sometime in the past couple of days… right? He had to have slept or eaten something here at some point… probably? He wasn’t sure. But regardless, this felt like the first time since Clay’s death that he had actually been home.

But it certainly didn’t feel like home, at least not anymore.

Usually when he came home this late, he would find Clay still awake, working away on his computer on the couch, maybe while watching some old cartoon reruns. Apollo’s eyes immediately darted to the couch, expecting to find Clay sitting there, greeting him with a smile and a do you know what time it is, young man, it is way past your bedtime!

The couch was empty of course, and it looked like it hadn’t been sat on in days.

As Apollo continued through the apartment, he kept expecting to see Clay wherever he looked. He expected to find him standing in the kitchen, eating ice cream directly from the carton after a long day, offering Apollo a spoon and asking him if he wanted some and hey, Apollo, don’t give me that look, it’s not like dad can get mad at me for not getting myself a bowl anymore!

As he walked past the bathroom, he could practically hear the sound of Clay’s muffled voice as he sang along in the shower to whichever Gavinner’s song was stuck in his head and no, Apollo, I can’t keep it down, you’re jealous of my singing voice and sugar, sugar… oh that night in your embrace…

He reached his and Clay’s shared bedroom. Even with their combined income, their apartment wasn’t huge, but they didn’t mind. They had shared a bedroom ever since Apollo moved in with him when they were in middle school. Apollo remembered that Clay decorated the celling with plastic, glow in the dark stars back then. That way I can stargaze, even when I’m inside!

Apollo lay down on his own bed, and gazed up at the ceiling. Clay had kept those plastic stars, though they had long since lost their glow. He always swore he’d go get some new ones, but he kept putting off buying them. Now that Apollo was staring up at those dull, unlit stars, it was beginning to bother him.

He checked the clock: it was almost eleven. Most everything would be closed now, but there was a 24/7 grocery store not too far away. And based on how he was feeling and how much his body still ached, Apollo doubted he was going to get any sleep anytime soon. As if on autopilot once again, he headed back out the door and hopped onto his bike and returned home about a half an hour later with a brand new package of glow-in-the-dark stars in hand. He pulled out a stepladder and ignored the pain in his body as well as his fear of heights and replaced the old stars on the ceiling with the new ones exactly as Clay had had them. 

Once all was said and done he collapsed onto the bed again and gazed up at the stars once more. He hadn’t seen them glow this brightly since he and Clay were children, sharing a bedroom in Mr. Terran’s apartment. After living there for a while, Mr. Terran bought the two of them a bunk bed so Apollo didn’t have to sleep on a futon anymore. Clay took top bunk so he could be closer to his stars while Apollo was happy with bottom bunk, too scared of heights to argue with him.

Clay, he remembered asking him, how can you sleep with those stars right above your head? Aren’t they distracting?

Not really, he had replied, reaching his arm out and running his fingers against the glowing plastic, they motivate me.

How?

They remind me of what I’m gonna do one day.

He had leaned over the edge of the bunk bed in a way that always scared the crap out of Apollo, and smiled down at him.

One day I’m gonna be among the stars just like this!

Apollo wasn’t sure how long he had been staring at those plastic stars above him, but soon he found himself crying. All of the emotion he had been holding back since Clay’s death - all of the rage, the sorrow, the despair – it all suddenly came out once he gazed at those cheap, plastic little stars. All this time he had kept his emotions at bay, not letting himself have the time to truly acknowledge them as he worked tirelessly to find Clay’s killer, figuring that once he had done that, it would all be solved, Clay would be avenged and he would soon feel better.

Why in the world did he think that would change anything?

The Phantom had been caught. The ruthless, evil monster that had hurt so many and had killed sweet, innocent Clay was gone. He would spend his years rotting in prison or maybe with all the trouble he had caused and lives he had ruined, he would even get executed. But what did that really change? Clay was still gone.

Bringing him justice wasn’t going to bring him back.

Somehow, in the back of his pathetic mind, he must have thought that’s what would happen and that’s why he worked so hard for it. But now that all was said in done, he felt just as empty as he had the day he saw Clay’s corpse carried away on a stretcher. He would never see Clay again. Never again would he sit on the couch and joke away with him or watch T.V. with him, never again would he get to eat ice cream directly from the carton with him because they were upset or just because they felt like it, never again would he hear him singing along terribly to one of the many Gavinner's songs, never again would he get to put his arm around his shoulders or hear him laugh or hold his hand or kiss him and never again would he be able to lay in the grass, gazing at the stars and talking the night away with him by his side.

He must have known that, from the start.

He had to have known that Clay wouldn’t come back regardless of how hard he worked to find out what happened to him. But he had pretended and ignored that unavoidable truth so he had something to do, something to put his mind on, anything to avoid facing the cruel, cold reality that his best and most beloved friend was gone and he would never see him again.

He knew that. Clay was gone, and he knew that would never change. But as he stood up and wiped his tears away on his sleeves, he decided to ignore it. Not forever, of course. But just for tonight. Just one last night where he could pretend that the world wasn’t so cruel and that things weren’t so unfair and that he wasn’t a beacon of bad luck that brought misfortune upon all those he touched. One more night where he could pretend that tomorrow he’d be awoken at the crack of dawn to Clay’s loud voice and his beautiful smile and he’d kiss him on the forehead again and rest his hand upon his shoulder and tell him, I love you, Apollo, and Apollo would do things right for once and he would wake up this time and he’d squeeze his hand and he’d smile at him in return and he’d finally tell him, I love you too, Clay, like he should have said on that fateful morning, and they would spend the day together talking and laughing and Apollo would be able to make Clay’s wish for a date come true like he had promised and things would be fine like the two of them had screamed it would be when they had first met all those years ago in the chilly school courtyard. 

Apollo laid down on Clay’s bed, the exhaustion of the days prior finally catching up to him. But he found that the stars he had just placed on the ceiling were a little distracting as they shined down upon him.

Of course they were bright, he figured. Just as Clay had said all those years ago, he would join those stars. And Apollo knew he would be the brightest, most dazzling one to ever grace the night sky.

He just wished it hadn’t happened so soon.

As Apollo rolled over, he realized the pillow still smelled like Clay. His hair was so thick that he tended to use nearly half the bottle of shampoo every time he washed it so of course the fruity scent he favored had lingered on the pillow. When Apollo pulled up the sheets and tugged them tighter around him, he could pretend he was back in that blissful night, laying in Clay’s arms after he had kissed him sheepishly beneath the stars. At least for tonight he could pretend that.

“Goodnight, Clay.” Apollo said, drifting off to sleep in what he could only wish was Clay’s warm embrace.

At twenty-six years old, Apollo had finally returned home.

Well… not necessarily home. Even after all these years he still didn’t know where he had really come from. But Khura’in was the first home he had remembered, and after sixteen years of absence, now that he had returned he realized that he did miss it, at least a little.

Okay, he missed it a lot.

Despite how unpleasant growing up here had been, he couldn’t help but miss his first home from time to time. He missed how much it rained here in comparison to the usually constant weather overseas, he missed the traditional food and the familiarity of the first language he ever knew and he missed how clear and crisp the air was and how many more stars he could see at night in comparison to the city.

Clay would love it, he thought.

Don’t think about Clay, he thought as well.

He missed the people, too. Well… he missed the ones that weren’t trying to hunt and kill Dhurke. He missed the members of the Defiant Dragons that he had gotten to know like Datz, and he was happy to see that he hadn’t changed that much.

Honestly… he still wasn’t sure how he felt about Dhurke, though. When he had finally gotten his attorney’s badge fourteen years after being abandoned, he had decided to move on and forget about him and Khura'in for good. And honestly he wouldn’t say that he regretted that decision. What choice did he have, really? He had a new life just beginning in the U.S., and if fourteen years of no letters, phone calls, or any sort of contact was any indication, it was safe to assume that Dhurke wouldn’t be coming back at all. It was easier for him to hate him. It was easier to hate the man that had lied to an eight-year old about bringing him back and never once tried to contact him, even when he had needed him the most. For his own sake, he had forgotten all about him and tried to live life to the fullest without looking back.

But if Apollo had learned anything in life, it was that things never went as planned, especially for him. The man that was supposed to look after him until Dhurke returned died of a stroke not even four years after taking him in. Apollo himself had nearly starved to death at twelve, too stubborn to accept help and risk going someplace else. He got his attorney’s badge then immediately found his boss guilty of murder and didn’t have a job for months because of it. He had fallen in love with a dreamy rock star prosecutor then completely fucked it up and ruined that relationship. He had the best friend anyone could ever ask for grow up with him then fall in love with him, only for him to be stabbed in cold blood the day his dreams were to finally come true. Not to mention he had survived an explosion and had been bludgeoned all within hours of each other. With all the horrible things that had happened to Apollo while he was gone, could he really blame Dhurke for breaking his promise and waiting until he had literally died to come and visit him?

Maybe a little. Apollo tended to hold grudges after all.

But for the most part, no. He couldn’t. And Dhurke’s boisterous personality and his saving his life again made him remember why he had missed him so much in the first place. He remembered telling Clay that if he ever saw Dhurke again, he wouldn't hesitate to give him a piece of his mind. But when it finally happened... well, he had tried to do that, but he found that he couldn't stay mad at him. Being with Dhurke, even after so much time, was familiar. He was easy to talk to, easy to spend time with... he really did feel like home.

Too bad he died just when Apollo was beginning to warm up to him again.

So when Nahyuta had asked Apollo to stay with him, to stay here in Khura’in and help fix everything for his and Dhurke’s sake… he found that he couldn’t refuse. They were family... or the closest thing he'd ever have to one, and he couldn't just say no to that. 

Part of it was obligation. He remembered years ago promising to help Dhurke fix everything when he was a little kid. Even with how many promises Dhurke had broken, Apollo still felt the need to go through with it on his end. Along with that, anyone could see that the justice system in Khura’in was in shambles, and if Mr. Wright believed he was a strong enough attorney to help out on his own, then he’d be happy to do so.

But aside from that… Apollo couldn’t deny that part of the reason he had stayed was due to his own selfishness.

He had simply been hurt too many times in too short of a period of time back in the U.S., and it had been catching up to him. Losing Grandpa was sad, but he came to terms with it soon enough. It had happened such a long time ago now; even if he had managed to save him in time, he would likely be dead by now anyways. But his strained relationship with Klavier was enough to put him on edge anytime he started a case, silently begging that please, let the prosecutor be anyone aside from him, I don’t want to look at that pretty face and think about how badly I screwed it up.

But it was Clay’s death that had truly put the final nail in the coffin, so to speak. Being with Clay had come to him as naturally as breathing. Clay had been with him longer than anyone else in his life, and now that he was gone there was a gaping hole in Apollo’s heart. He couldn’t stand returning to an empty apartment and greeting Clay out of habit, only to realize that he had been dead for months now and he would be met with silence. The silence was agonizing. He hated being at home alone, eating alone, working alone and going to bed alone without anyone to say goodnight to. He found any reason he possibly could to not go home; he’d go to work early and leave late, sometimes even staying behind and helping clean up the office to do so. And while being Trucy’s magic assistant was still terrifying, he now jumped at the opportunity to help her with building props and sewing costumes; he’d much rather spend two hours painting a wooden dragon at the agency while Trucy practiced than spend it at home violently aware of how quiet it was.

So being asked to stay in Khura’in honestly seemed like a bit of a blessing. That long lost childhood dream of coming back home had finally been realized. And while Dhurke was gone, he still had Nahyuta. And Datz, and now Rayfa and Amara, too. And his return was even better than he could have possibly imagined it. When he was a kid, he figured that even when things had settled down, he’d still have to live a life on edge and on alert. But now… things were different. Sure, there were people who still, despite Ga’ran’s dethronement, believed that all she had said was true and that defense attorneys and the Defiant Dragons were all evil, but they were few and far in between. For the most part, he and Nahyuta were treated like heroes. Well, more so Nahyuta than himself. That wasn’t surprising; despite Nahyuta’s disliked lineage, he had made quite a name for himself during Ga’ran’s regime, and the people seemed to favor him. Now that the populous knew the truth, they loved him. As they should. After all, he had certainly worked hard for it.

It had been nearly three years since Apollo had decided to stay back in Khura’in, and thus far things were going pretty well. By day he ran the Sahdmadhi Law Firm and by night he stayed in the palace with Nahyuta, Rayfa and Amara. It was… nice, honestly. Incredibly busy, but nice.

With the justice system in such a bad state, Apollo had his work cut out for him. He didn’t realize the sheer amount of people that needed defending. He found himself taking on multiple cases a week; far more than he could ever imagine the Wright Anything Agency ever doing. But with a mass of people in need of help, there was also an uprising of people willing to help out as well. Ever since the DC Act had been enacted, anyone who was a defense attorney had either moved away or resigned, and anyone who had a dream of doing so kept quiet or did something else to avoid persecution. Now that the law was gone, far more people were jumping at the opportunity to join in and help. After a year and a half, Apollo wasn’t the only attorney anymore as there were a number of other law firms opening up in Khura’in. The justice system in Khura’in was no longer in shambles, but it would still be an uphill battle, one that Apollo was ready to face head on.

With Nahyuta by his side, of course.

He had missed Nahyuta so, so much. And now that Nahyuta could drop the holier-than-thou persona he had been living under, Apollo realized that despite their rocky first reunion, he was still the boy he had once known growing up. A bit more grown up and pessimistic, but mostly the same. When the two of them weren’t busy with legal – or in Nahyuta’s case, royal – obligations, they spent most of their time together. Even after all these years, it still felt like Nahyuta was his brother, even though Nahyuta still didn't refer to him as such. And sixteen years of separation meant they had quite a bit to catch up on.

On the rare occasions in which the two of them had free time, they would often go on a bit of a hike together. Apollo was still not athletic in the slightest, but he liked the fresh air and the destination was far more important than the journey, anyways. The old little shack that the three of them used to live in was still there: high up in the mountains and hidden from most of Khura’in. A couple years after Apollo had left Khura’in, their home had been found by some of the Queen’s soldiers, who had promptly attacked Dhurke on sight. Thankfully, he had managed to escape with Nahyuta and since then, they had never returned and had found other, more hidden places to live in.

It had been Apollo’s suggestion to come back here. About four months after he had decided to stay Khura’in, he asked Nahyuta about it. It was his… their first home, after all. Nahyuta told him he hadn’t been there in years. Much to their surprise, they found it hadn’t been completely destroyed. It had been trashed, sure, and the entire place had been searched top to bottom likely for any information on the Defiant Dragons, but based on the heavy layer of dust that covered everything, it was safe to assume that it had long since been abandoned.

Apollo made it his business to clean the old place up. If he was going to stay in Khura’in, he figured he wasn’t going to stay in the palace forever. Besides it was… rather lavish for someone like him. He kind of felt like a stranger living amongst the royal family when he was wearing red slacks and was shorter than Rayfa after her growth spurt a couple months ago. If they could get the old shack habitable again, Apollo figured he’d like to live there. Thus far they were making some progress. They had cleaned most of the living room and replaced a couple of the shattered windows.

Today, they were finally going to start on his and Nahyuta’s old bedroom. When Apollo opened the door, he found a gruesome sight before him. The mattresses on both of the beds had been slashed multiple times, and most of the furniture had been tossed to the side. Apollo noticed there was a substantial amount of dried blood on the floor, too.

“Holy shit…” Apollo brought a hand up to his mouth in horror.

“Calm down.” Nahyuta said. “I’m sure you’ve seen crime scenes worse than this.”

“Y-yeah, but… this was our bedroom, Nahyuta!” Apollo replied. “What happened in here?”

“You know the drill.” Nahyuta said calmly, running his hand gently against the wall Apollo only just noticed had slash marks in it as well. “When people were near by, Father had us hide, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“Well, this time he had been a bit careless. People found us. He told me to hide again, but it was too late. Someone had already gotten inside. I tried to hide, but…” Apollo noticed a troubled look on his usually unreadable face. “I was followed. Someone grabbed me. I thought I was going to die, but then… Father saved me.”

“He didn’t…” Apollo muttered, glancing at the blood on the floor.

“No, he didn’t kill him. You know just as well as I do that he wouldn’t act violently. He managed to scare the solider away… but not before losing an eye himself.”

“Oh… god.” Apollo gasped. “That’s horrible.”

“…Yes, it was.” Nahyuta replied, calm as ever. “But you know how Father worked.”

“A dragon never yields.” Apollo recited. “Still. That’s terrible!”

“Yes, but it’s in the past.” Nahyuta moved one of the shredded mattresses off of the cot and onto the floor, conveniently covering the bloodstain. “Both of us have work to get back to tomorrow morning. So let’s not waste our time.”

“You’re right… sorry, Nahyuta.”

The two of them cleaned and chatted idly for a while. There was… a lot to take care of. That, and Apollo kept getting distracted. When Dhurke had sent him away, he hadn’t really brought all that much with him. After all, he had gone under the assumption that he’d be coming back soon. Several of his old belongings he found scattered about on the floor or covered in dust in the drawer. He found a wooden doll hiding beneath the bed, an old Khura’inese board game was on top of the chest of drawers, its pieces scattered all around the bedroom, and Apollo even found an old, faded picture of himself and Nahyuta standing beside the river with Dhurke behind them, his hands on their shoulders.

“Hey, Nahyuta,” Apollo said, showing him the photo, “can I keep this?”

Nahyuta paused in his work, taking a closer look at the photograph. He didn’t say anything and just gazed at it for a while, looking rather morose.

“I-if you wanna keep it, that’s fine too.” Apollo immediately added. “I mean, you are his actual son, and…”

“I have plenty of memories with him.” Nahyuta finally said. “Far more than you do. It’s yours, Apollo.”

“Thanks.”

It didn’t matter that it had nearly been three years since Dhurke’s death; the subject still seemed a bit touchy for Nahyuta. Not that he could judge him, of course. To this day, any mentions of Clay put a pit in Apollo’s stomach. Hell, his aversion towards being reminded of what he had lost was part of the reason he was even here in the first place. Losing Dhurke had been hard for him too, of course, but he tried not to think too much about it. After all, he was absent in his life for so long that when he came back, it really didn’t feel real. And in it’s own way, it wasn’t, seeing how Dhurke had been long dead when he had finally turned up to see him again.

Ugh, he didn’t like thinking about it. He tucked the photograph into his pocket and continued working.

They tidied up the place until around twelve-thirty, then decided it was time to stop for lunch. Nahyuta had brought food with him like he had many times before, and the two of them decided to take a hike up a little further for a picnic. The climb was a bit steep for Apollo’s liking and he certainly didn't like the view below him of the river he had nearly drowned in years ago, but otherwise it was nice. From their spot on top of the mountain they could see a vast majority of Khura’in’s capital on the horizon.

Well, usually they could, but about halfway through lunch thick, dark storm clouds had rolled in and it began to rain, hard. Thankfully the two of them were able to find a small cave on the side of the mountain to sit in and wait it out for a while.

“Do you think it’s going to stop anytime soon?” Apollo asked, sticking his hand out experimentally to feel the rain.

“How long have you been living here now, Apollo?” Nahyuta's tone was condescending, as usual.

“Oh, don’t give me that.” Apollo pouted. “I lived in L.A. for almost twenty years. It pretty much never rains there so I don’t remember how long it usually lasts.”

“Fine.” Nahyuta sighed, gazing out at the gray sky. “It’s almost January. It snows or rains pretty frequently until May. So I would say… nightfall, at least.”

“Nightfall?!” Apollo exclaimed. “Ugh.”

“Do you have plans later?”

“Datz promised to get me dinner tonight as thanks for defending him the other day.”

“How many times have you defended him now?”

“Honestly, I dunno. But the guy could give Maya Fey a run for her money with how many times he’s been arrested.”

“Well, what should we do, then?”

“Hmm…” Apollo pulled his phone out of his pocket. They had been sitting here for awhile, seeing how it was almost two o’clock. It took about an hour and a half to get to Dhurke’s old cabin from the capital. Datz wanted to meet around four-thirty. And if he was late, chances were he’d get bored and blow up something for fun and get arrested again. “If we go now…”

“That’s fine.” Nahyuta said, getting to his feet.

“Wait, really? You’re going to get wet…”

“And?”

“Well… y’know.” Apollo gestured to the excessive jewelry and beads that adorned Nahyuta's already expensive-looking clothing.

“We used to travel through the sewers together.” Nahyuta replied. “I think I’ll live.”

“A-Alright.”

The two of them headed out, and Apollo was immediately pelted by the rain. He considered turning back a couple of times but decided against it, knowing that Datz would never let him hear the end of it if he was late. Besides, seeing how calmly Nahyuta was walking before him made him push on. If Nahyuta could walk through the pelting rain easily in golden knee-high boots then Apollo didn’t have any excuse. He picked up the pace, and then nearly tripped when his foot slid against a slick rock.

“Careful.” Nahyuta said, firmly grabbing ahold of Apollo’s arm before he could fall. “You don’t want to fall in again.”

Apollo gazed over where, quite a few yards away, the ledge dropped off into the rushing river below.

“I wasn’t gonna fall in.” Apollo said with a glare. “We’re not even close to the river anyways!”

“Considering your track record we can’t be too careful.”

Apollo wanted to say something to argue, but decided against it. He shook his arm out of Nahyuta’s grip and they walked in silence for a little while. Apollo kept gazing over at the drop off; even with the heavy rain the sound of the river's rushing waters remained consistent. He found himself dwelling on it a little. The sound took him back to that day when he was five, when he and Nahyuta had fallen in and nearly drowned. Apollo never forgot about all the things he had said to him that day. And now that he thought about it, he had never talked about it with him, had he? He remembered Nahyuta apologizing to him for it that day. But he also remembered that his bracelet had tightened on his wrist when he had done so. Back then, Apollo figured he had just been imagining things. But now that he knew what that meant...

“…Say, Nahyuta,” Apollo said finally, “are you still mad at me about that?”

“About what?” Nahyuta replied. 

“Remember when we played hide-and-seek when we were younger, and we both fell in the river? That.”

“No, of course not.”

Apollo’s bracelet didn’t react to his words… but Nahytua had told him himself that he could render his bracelet useless if he so wanted.

“Are you sure? I mean… you were really mad at me.”

“As were you. If I recall correctly, you punched me in the face at least four times.”

“…Sorry.”

I wouldn’t have punched you if you didn’t insult me, Apollo thought bitterly.

But then again, was it really an insult if what he had said was true?

“No, it’s all right. I suppose I should apologize, too. What I said about you was completely uncalled for.”

The phrase it’s okay was on the tip of his tongue, but Apollo couldn’t bring himself to say it quite yet. What Nahyuta had said to him had haunted him for nearly twenty years now. And now that they had reunited, after all this time, all Nahyuta had to say about it was that it was uncalled for?

“You really think so?”

“Hm?”

“What you said… you really think it was uncalled for?”

“We fell into a river and I told you that your parents didn’t want you. It was immature of me.”

“Well…”Apollo wasn’t sure why he was still thinking about this. Nahyuta constantly preached to let it go and move on; he would just think he was stupid for dwelling on it. But it seemed he was determined to dig himself a hole. “What if it’s true?”

“What?”

“Y’know. Me being bad luck. Nothing good ever happening when I’m around. No one wanting me. What if all that’s true?”

“Apollo…” Nahyuta almost looked amused. “Don’t be silly. It’s ridiculous to think that-”

“But what if it’s true, huh?” Apollo exclaimed. “Y’know, ever since you said that to me, I couldn’t stop thinking about it!”

Nahyuta just stared at him, looking actually perplexed for once.

“I know you meant it back then. A-and I think it’s actually true! Did you know that all the people who have ever liked me had something bad happen to them? All of them! And don’t even get me started on the bad luck thing! Did you know I nearly starved to death when I was twelve? Did you know that in my first case it turned out my boss did it and I didn’t have a job for months? And, also, I got caught up in an explosion while investigating my own boyfriend’s murder, only to get bludgeoned the very next day! Oh, and that last part, about my parents? Yeah, it’s been twenty-six years and I still don’t know who my mother is. Turns out she never tried to find me! Or she’s dead, who knows at this point, might as well join the party seeing how Dhurke didn’t even come back for me until he was already-”

“Satorha!” Nahyuta shouted, effectively silencing him. Apollo instinctually backed off for a moment; worried that Nahyuta might toss those beads on him again. “Apollo… do you really think that’s true?”

“Well, kinda…” Apollo replied nervously, Nahyuta’s piercing glare making him realize just how silly that outburst must have sounded. “I-I mean, based on all that has happened…”

“I’d say your life is pretty balanced.”

“Uh, what?”

“With every terrible thing that has happened, something good has happened, right? That’s balance. I lost all free will when I found that Rayfa was my sister. But in exchange I got a sister that I never even knew I had. It is the same for you, is it not?”

“I… I dunno.”

“Well, look at it this way: you told me you nearly starved when you were twelve. Why didn’t you?”

“Oh. Uh… my friend Clay found out about it and let me move in with him.”

“See? That’s balance. For every bad occurrence in our lives, there’s a good one to equal it out.”

Apollo said nothing and just walked along the trail with him for a moment. He thought back on his own life, trying to determine whether or not that was true. For a while, it seemed to be, at least a little bit. He lost his real family, but got Dhurke and Nahyuta instead. He was abandoned in the U.S., but then had Grandpa take care of him. But he had died and then Apollo nearly died himself, but then he got sweet, wonderful Clay. He lost his job but then he found a new one with Mr. Wright and Trucy. His old boss had been a frightening murderer, but his brother was nothing short of an angel. He screwed up his chances with Klavier, but then Clay had fallen for him instead...

It seemed like Nahyuta’s words may have held some merit but thus far, nothing made up for Clay’s horrendously cruel murder or Dhurke’s untimely death. Even staying in Khura’in and rebuilding the legal system didn’t make up for those two things quite yet. And Apollo wasn’t sure if anything ever would.

“Of course,” Nahyuta continued abruptly, “if thinking like that doesn’t work, you can always do that mantra you like to chant.”

“Mantra?”

“You know, that… ‘I’m fine’ business.”

“Oh… that.”

That used to work when Grandpa had taught him it and it worked even better when he had Clay to chant it with, but now it sort of left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“If you save that solely for the courtroom, I understand. Just… remember that no one’s unlucky. You're fine. You can say it yourself if it would make you feel better.”

“You know me too well.” Apollo chuckled. He took a deep breath.

But before he could say anything, the ground beneath their feet began to quake violently. Apollo knew what this was; he had felt in many times before both here and overseas: an earthquake. Growing up he didn’t mind them so bad. It was a little scary, but he had never been in someplace dangerous when one struck and so long as he had something to hold on to, he’d be fine.

But now, he didn’t. He was outside and it was still raining incredibly hard and the ground was slick and there was nothing for him to hold on to. Nothing, except…

He quickly reached out to grab ahold of Nahyuta’s hand and their fingertips brushed, and –

The ground collapsed beneath him and he tumbled along with it into the icy rushing water below. It went all too quickly for him to process what had happened, his body paralyzed by the swiftness of the current and the frigid water. He struggled to keep himself afloat, barely catching a glimpse of the landslide he had fallen in with.

“Apollo!” He could hear Nahyuta shouting from – from somewhere. Apollo couldn’t see him as his head bobbed in and out of the water and he was swept away. He tried desperately to grab ahold of anything that would keep him stable or afloat, but he found nothing, accidentally slamming his wrist hard against the slick rocks and he was unable to find any large pieces of driftwood.

Soon enough he found himself growing weary. His limbs became numb from the icy water and with his slowed movements and the throbbing in his arm; he found it harder and harder to keep his head above the surface. He couldn’t hear Nahyuta’s voice anymore; he couldn’t hear anything aside from the rushing water and his ragged gasps and coughing fits. He began to feel himself losing consciousness and as he did, a fleeting, pathetic thought passed in his mind that maybe Dhurke would come and save him.

When Apollo awoke, he nearly hacked up a lung, choking on the river water that had gotten into his mouth, burning his throat. He slowly became aware of his surroundings. Based on the dull ache in his side, he had somehow managed to wash up on a very rocky bank. His feet were still in the water and he could still feel the rain pelting him. His right wrist was still in a tremendous amount of pain and he seriously hoped it wasn’t broken. He opened his eyes only to find that his face was inches away from Nahyuta’s chest. Nahyuta’s arm was draped around his waist, too.

Ah. So that’s why he wasn’t dead yet. Nahyuta must have saved him. Apollo smiled; like father, like son, he supposed.

“Nahyuta?” Apollo asked, his voice weak and ragged. There was no response. He slowly sat up, Nahyuta’s arm sliding off of him when he did so. Apollo noticed that Nahyuta’s eyes were shut tight; it seemed he had passed out. “Nahyuta?” He gripped Nahyuta’s shoulder, shaking him a little. It was only then he noticed a large, deep gash on the back of Nahyuta’s head, staining his pretty silver hair a deep scarlet. There was also a significant amount of blood on the rocks beneath him. Apollo would have screamed if his throat wasn’t burning so much.

“Nahyuta?! Nahyuta, wake up!” Apollo shouted, shaking him desperately. He looked around frantically, trying to figure out who – or what – could have done this. There… there wasn’t anyone else on the mountain with them, was there? Surely he would’ve noticed them, wouldn’t he? And if there was, why hadn’t they hurt him too?!

Despite the noise, Nahyuta still didn’t open his eyes. Apollo took a few deep breaths, attempting to calm himself. He needed to think of something to do. It was freezing out here; it was still the dead of winter, and both of them were soaked to the bone. It often went below freezing at night in Khura’in and if they stayed out here much longer, neither of them would make it. He couldn’t just sit here and panic and let someone close to him die.

Not again.

Apollo quickly took off his tie, wrapping it firmly around Nahyuta’s head to stop the bleeding as best as he could. As soon as he was satisfied, he wrapped Nahyuta’s arm around his shoulders and hoisted him up into an almost standing position. It hurt. Apollo didn’t realize how battered he had become from his trip down the river, but he could feel it now. He bit his lip and started moving. It didn’t matter how much he hurt. What mattered was getting Nahyuta back to safety as quickly as possible.

Apollo found that the river had carried them quite a ways downstream, but it would still be a long walk back to town. Especially considering how weak he felt from the swift trip down the river. He was freezing; he wasn’t sure how long he had been unconscious, but he noticed the sun beginning to set behind the mountains. Just as Nahyuta had predicted, the rain finally began to let up as the sky grew dark. Apollo would be grateful for it, but as the sun dropped in the sky so did the temperature. He couldn’t stop shaking in his waterlogged clothes as he trudged forward, but at least his skin growing numb from the cold alleviated the pain a little. He kept going. How could he stop when he could feel Nahyuta’s damp body pressed against him? He had a head wound and with how cold his soaked clothes were, who knew how long he had left in this frigid weather?

“We’ll be fine, Nahyuta.” Apollo muttered, more for his own sake than Nahyuta’s. He couldn’t lose Nahyuta, too. Not after Dhurke and certainly not after Clay.

He trekked onwards with Nahyuta draped heavily over his shoulders for what felt like hours. Finally, Apollo could see lights on the horizon. He sighed in relief. He was close, really close, just about half a mile and they’d be all right, they'd be fine. Thank god, because Apollo’s legs felt like they were going to give out any second now and he couldn’t stop the chattering of his teeth. He continued through the high grass and soon enough, he heard footsteps approaching them and he could see some flashlights ahead of him. Had someone been searching for them? How late had they been out, anyways? Nahyuta was basically a prince in Khura’in; perhaps someone had sent out a search party for him?

Well regardless of who it was, Apollo was thankful for their arrival. And, unable to keep himself up any longer, he collapsed, Nahyuta’s body falling down along with him as whoever had the lights rushed towards them. The last thing he remembered was a flashlight shining upon him as he passed out.

When Apollo awoke next, he found himself in the Khura’inese Detention Center; he had been arrested for the murder of Nahyuta Sahdmadhi.

Apollo was only given the barest details on the case. Cause of death: head trauma. Victim was apparently struck on the head with some sharp, blunt object. It was impossible to determine time of death due to how cold his soaked body had become that chilly evening and it didn’t help that Apollo had moved him from the crime scene.

That night, when Apollo never showed up for his dinner date with Datz, he began to grow worried. Even in the capital, the earthquake and the rain had hit pretty hard, and he knew about Apollo and Nahyuta’s frequent trips to their old home. When nightfall came and there was still no sign of either of them, he decided to get some people together and go search for them. But they didn’t have to look too far. They were found in a field just outside of town. Nahyuta had long since died from the wound on the back of his head and honestly Datz would’ve assumed Apollo was dead too if it weren’t for his ragged breathing. Both of them looked terrible; they were covered in dirt and scratches and both of them were soaked to the bone.

Datz knew immediately that Apollo hadn’t done it. One look at Apollo’s equally battered appearance was proof enough that he was lucky to have even been alive in the first place! He had argued vehemently for him, claiming that arresting him just after losing his brother was nothing short of cruel. But no one would listen to him. It didn’t matter that the Defiant Dragons were no longer seen as terrorists; Datz had a long history of being a troublemaker and frankly no one cared about what he had to say. Besides, everyone knew that Apollo wasn’t Nahyuta’s real brother. He had no relation to the royal family or even the nation as a whole. That, and there were neither witnesses nor other suspects aside from him, and the people of Khura’in wanted justice for their treasured, royal prosecutor. It seemed Apollo was the only person to blame.

And he blamed himself, too. How could he not when he had been the only one there that day? He had never attacked Nahyuta. He couldn’t even dream of it! But there was still blame on his shoulders. After all… he had been right there. He could have – no, he should have – protected him! At the very least he should've known what happened! But here he was, sitting in the Khura'inese detention and the only thing he knew was that he had lost his brother.

“Hey, Apollo.” Datz said, sitting down on the chair across from him. This was not the first time he had come to visit him since his arrest; as silly as Datz could be, it seemed he knew when to be serious and wanted to keep him company during such a tense time. Apollo stared back at him through the bars of the visiting room window. Never in his life did he think he’d ever be on this side of the detention center window, but he supposed his life was full of surprises.

“Hey, Datz.” Apollo finally replied.

“How are you holding up?”

“I’m… fine.” Apollo replied. His bracelet had been confiscated upon arrest but if he was wearing it right now he was certain it’d be squeezing him hard. “I guess I’m a little cold, though.”

“I’m sure you are. I tried to bring you a change of clothes, but… they wouldn’t let me give it to you. They think you’re too dangerous to be trusted.” He laughed, but there was no humor to it. “Like you could hurt anyone, let alone with a piece of cloth.”

“So you really don’t think I did it?”

“Of course not! You wouldn’t hurt a fly, kid. And just… look at you.” He gestured to Apollo who, admittedly, still looked like shit. He was still in the torn, dirty clothing he had worn the day he fell in the river, his hair was messy and hung loose around his face, and he was covered in small cuts and bruises. Apollo crossed his arms, covering the large bruising on his right wrist from Datz's view.

“I’m fine.” Apollo said again. Datz was not convinced in the slightest.

“Hey, are you sure you're-”

“I don’t want to talk about me, okay? Finding out what happened to Nahyuta matters way more now. Were you able to find out anything from the investigation?”

“Nah, not really. The cops told me to stay out. Man, I miss that detective from the states who brought snacks with her. Where is she?”

“Ema went back home like half a year ago.” Apollo sighed. He could really use her assistance right about now.

“I hung around though. And from the sound of it, there wasn’t a lot of evidence left behind. Didn’t help that they couldn’t find the original crime scene. Did they find anyone to defend you yet?”

“No. Why would anyone wanna defend me? Everyone thinks I killed the prince of Khura’in and it was something like this that had caused the DC act to be enacted in the first place. No one’s gonna touch this case.”

“I figured as much. Look, I’ll call PW, I’m sure he’ll-”

“Don’t you dare call him.” Apollo snapped. “Don’t call any of them. I’ll deal with it myself.”

“But-”

“No. Mr. Wright almost died defending people here. I’m not gonna make him do that again.”

“He’d do that for you.”

“Well, I don’t want him to.”

“You need help from somebody. Look, you’re in no condition to-”

“I’m fine!” He said again, slamming his fist against the counter. He must have been shouting pretty loudly because Datz looked a little startled. “...Listen, Datz. I was stuck in an explosion once and showed up to court the very next day anyways. I can handle this on my own, all right?”

“Nahyuta would want you to take care of yourself.”

“No he wouldn’t. He’d want me to find the truth, no matter what. Just like we did for Dhurke.”

“Oh, c’mon. He cared about you. He was like your brother-”

“Oh yeah? Then what kind of brother does that make me, huh?! Datz, I was right there and I didn’t do anything! I don’t even know what happened to him! I’m not his brother, all right?! I never was! It's over!!”

“Apollo…” Datz looked like he wanted to say more but he seemed pretty defeated. “I’m sorry. But… I know you. You'll be all right. You always are.”

“I… guess. But even if I do get a not guilty verdict – what then? He… He’s gone, Datz! This isn’t like Dhurke. His death isn’t gonna spark a revolution or anything like that. What good can possibly come from this?”

It seemed Datz didn't have an answer to that question either. 

A day later, the investigation ended and as expected Apollo was his own defense. It seemed no attorney in town wanted to be anywhere near this case considering how high the stakes were. It had only been a couple years since the DC act had been written away. But now that another defense attorney was accused of killing a member of the royal family, things were incredibly tense. If he was found guilty, who knew what would happen to the already fragile state of the law? That, and he wasn’t about to subject any of the fresh new defense attorneys in town to defend someone accused of murdering the prince of Khura’in, especially since his story was… unconvincing, at best. The last time anyone had seen Nahyuta was with Apollo. The two of them had gone missing for about half a day. And when they finally turned up again, Nahyuta had been bludgeoned to death and was with the person he was last seen around? It didn’t leave much room for doubt, especially considering that Apollo’s only response to what had happened was an honest, heartfelt, but utterly unconvincing, I don’t know, he was like that when I woke up!

The trial went by in a heartbeat, however. As part of the new legal system Apollo and Nahyuta had set in place, it was customary for both the prosecution and the defense to witness Princess Rayfa’s divination séance before the trial started so they could both prepare their opening arguments accordingly, with no unfair advantage to either side. Apollo almost couldn’t watch the performance. It had been heartbreaking enough to see her attempt it again and again on her own father’s death three years ago. But now, for her very own brother? It was devastating, and anyone could tell that the princess, despite becoming more mature in attitude over the years, was still deeply affected by what had happened. It took her two tries, but she pushed through the overwhelming despair and an image was brought before them.

Nahyuta had just barely missed falling in with the landslide that had swept up Apollo. The ground had thankfully just finished its shaking, so he followed the path of the landslide quickly and didn’t even hesitate in jumping in after him. It seemed that unlike him, he actually knew how to swim. As the séance continued, soon enough Apollo himself could be seen in the vision. He was unconscious and looked pretty worse for wear, but his head had thankfully managed to stay above the surface of the water long enough to prevent him from drowning, for now. Nahyuta quickly rushed forward and grabbed ahold of him, pulling him close to his chest as he kept him afloat. Then he looked around, searching for an opening as the current continued to quickly pull the two of them downstream. He saw a riverbank not too far away, but just as he began to head towards it…

He suddenly felt a tremendous amount of pain from the back of his head. Despite the pain he tried to hold on to Apollo, and as he continued to drift downstream, he shot a glance back at what had struck him, and everyone could clearly see the sharp, jagged rock that the current had slammed him into, stained with his own blood. His movements became rather sluggish and he kept looking down at Apollo as his consciousness began to fade away, trying his hardest to keep a firm grasp on him. In his final moments, he made an effort to get a little closer to that rocky riverbank. Then everything faded to black.

The room was silent for a moment as it became clear what had happened. This was no murder; it was simply an accident. A horrible, horrible accident. Apollo hadn’t attacked him. No one had. His very last moments showed a selfless sacrifice, not a cold-blooded murder. He had been so focused on making sure Apollo stayed safe that he hadn’t even noticed what he had been heading towards. Apollo found himself tearing up at the sight of it. Just like everyone else, he had believed that someone had attacked Nahyuta. And a cruel, petty part of him still sort of wished that had been the case – after all, that meant someone could be brought to justice for what had happened to him. That way he could just treat this like he had treated Clay’s murder. Back then, when it had been too much to handle, he had just shut himself down and made himself keep going so he could ignore what had happened, at least for a little while, and force himself to work tirelessly to find his killer. But, no. This time he couldn’t do that. There was no killer. There was nothing. Nothing that he, nor anyone, could do aside from adjourn court and go home.

That night, after he was released from the detention center and given back his belongings, Apollo didn’t go back to the palace. Not immediately, at least. He couldn’t bring himself to walk back to the palace without Nahyuta by his side; he didn’t want to go there and have to look Amara and Rayfa in the eyes, knowing that their son and brother was gone, and that he had died to save… him, of all people. The night of the trial he wound up sleeping on the couch of the Sahdmadhi Law Firm so he wouldn’t have to face either of them.

Of course, he couldn’t avoid it for long. Datz found out that he had stayed the night at the office and pretty much forced him to go back to the palace. He desperately needed a bath, and a change of clothes. He was still in what he had been wearing when Nahyuta had died and he was still cold, sore, and covered in scratches and dirt. Along with that, Datz insisted that he needed time to rest, recover, and mourn. Apollo appreciated his concern for him, of course, but… he didn't want to go back to his empty room back at the palace. There was nothing he hated more than being alone with his thoughts, especially after something like this.

When he finally did return to the palace, a day or so later, he thankfully didn’t pass anyone on the way back to his guest room. He could hear Rayfa crying from her own room, but he didn’t bother to go in and console her. He could already hear Amara doing just that, and he knew nothing he had to say could possibly help her. It didn’t matter that he was innocent; he was still there. He was alive when Nahyuta was not. Why would she possibly want to talk to him about any of this? He kept going.

When he arrived in his bedroom and shut the door, he finally changed out of his disgusting, dirty clothes. His vest looked pretty bad; it had a couple holes in it and he’d likely have to get a new one. However, when he flipped it over to get a better look, he noticed something fall out of the pocket. A small, sad, wet lump lay at his feet. Apollo picked it up, trying his best to determine what exactly it was. It looked like… paper of some kind. Perhaps he had forgotten a grocery list in there or something? He unfolded it and, to his horror, he realized it was the photograph of him, Dhurke and Nahyuta that he had found in their old cabin. Except the wear and tear from trip downstream as well as the water permeating his clothes had eroded it so badly that the only face he could make out was his own.

Of course.

Apollo clenched the ruined photo in his fist and threw it as far away from him as he possibly could. And that’s when finally, the tears began to fall.

Of course.

Of course he was the only one left in the photo. Of course he was the only one left from the three of them! This is how things always happened! People far greater than he was - people who were kinder, smarter, far more important than he could ever dream of being - were always the ones to die when he, selfishly, was allowed to survive. Why? Why in the world was he, a pathetic, green horn attorney that no one really wanted here, doing sitting in a palace bedroom and breathing when Nahyuta, the prince of Khura’in itself was not? Why had Nahyuta protected him like that when he was so undeserving? He wasn’t worth it!

And it seemed the people of Khura’in didn’t hesitate to remind him of that fact.

The months after Nahyuta’s death were increasingly difficult. Nahyuta’s funeral was held about a week after the incident and it seemed nearly everyone in Khura’in was there. He was essentially royalty after all, and most all of the nation cited him as the reason for the positive change in the Khura’inese justice system. Apollo had been told to give a speech, mostly at Datz’s insistence. He kept insisting that Apollo was his brother; and the two of them grew up together. And aside from Dhurke and himself, Apollo was the only one who had really known Nahyuta when he was a little kid. So he had gone up there, right after Amara and Rayfa had delivered their tearful speeches about their son and brother, and stood before the entire country of Khura’in.

He had been expected to say something –a speech, an eulogy, a charming story from their childhood – he was supposed to be his brother! But when Apollo stood before the large crowd that had gathered to mourn for Nahyuta, he found his chords of steel clamming up. He couldn’t think of anything to say. When it came down to it the time he had spent with Nahyuta was incredibly short. He had grown up with him for only eight years of his life. Yet here he was, supposed to give a speech as if he actually deserved to call himself his family. He stood there for a moment, trying very, very hard to think of some sort of anecdote to tell. But for some reason, the only event that stood out in his mind was the time he and Nahyuta had fallen into the river when they were children. Looking back on it now, Nahyuta had been right: it really had been his fault that day.

Datz seemed to notice Apollo’s hesitance and quickly rushed beside him and began to rattle off a story about Apollo and Nahyuta when they were younger. It was something about how the two of them outsmarted some of Queen Ga’ran’s guards by pulling some pranks on them. The story wasn’t true, but Datz was a good storyteller and was great at making it sound convincing. Apollo just nodded along as he spoke, laughed when the crowd did and gave an affirmative yeah or uh-huh every so often. He wasn’t listening very closely. He felt like he was paralyzed to the ground as he stared forward at the crowd and it seemed like every single person in the audience was staring right at him, their eyes drilling holes into his head, their fierce expressions seeming to ask:

Why couldn’t it have been you?

And honestly, Apollo wished he knew the answer to that. What the fuck was he to the people of Khura’in? He was just some traveling musician’s son that should have died in the fire that killed him all those years ago. He was just Dhurke’s kid, but not his real one; he wasn’t even close enough to him to even call him Dad! And even upon his return, he was just some random attorney that had turned the entire political system upside down. Not that it mattered, of course; the people of Khura’in always saw that victory as Nahyuta’s. To them, Nahyuta was a brave, selfless spirit who had accepted persecution from the people of Khura’in due to his lineage and had let himself be manipulated by the queen to protect his unknowing sister. He was the strong, intelligent prosecutor who spent his years keeping up a painful façade only to bring justice to the entire kingdom once the time was right. He was everything to the people of Khura’in. He was the face of faith, of patience, of freedom and justice.

Apollo was nobody; he was just that random attorney who should’ve died instead.

He knew it, too. And it just became all the more clearer as the weeks melted into months since Nahyuta’s passing. Work at the Sahdmadhi Law Firm declined as Apollo found that less and less people were seeking him out for help. More and more clients would typically ask one of the other attorneys in town and some even sought out another law firm once they locked eyes with Apollo. He didn’t mind, necessarily. He couldn’t hog all of the cases, of course, but he couldn’t help but notice just how many potential clients would go out of their way to avoid him. But he wished he had something to do. He didn’t want to be back at the palace, doing nothing all day aside from avoiding Amara and Rayfa, and he certainly didn’t want to be here with absolute silence aside from Datz’s chatter whenever he decided to stop by and keep him company. When Clay had died, he had been able to move past it. …No, actually, he hadn’t. But he had become very good at pretending he had moved past it, burying himself in work, helping Trucy with her props, running errands for Mr. Wright… anything, anything to avoid the oppressive silence of his empty apartment. But here, he found no such luck. People were avoiding him, and he felt more and more isolated with each passing day.

And it wasn’t just limited to work. He noticed how differently people were treating him when he walked the streets, too. When he went to the bazaar to get groceries, he often noticed many people staring at him, the look of disdain on their eyes unmistakable. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d walk past people in town only to hear them whisper something about him to one another. In fact, many people would gossip about him openly in Khura’inese, thinking he couldn’t understand what they were saying since he was a foreigner.

Isn’t that the boy that was with Prosecutor Sahdmadhi when he…?

They say he’s the reason Queen Ga’ran was dethroned.

Do you think Prosecutor Sahdmadhi’s death was really an accident?

Should he really be trusted living with the queen and princess?

Have you ever seen him pray? Maybe the Holy Mother cursed him!

Apollo never said anything to them, and kept his eyes on the street as he walked onwards, feigning ignorance as he tried to pretend that their words weren’t getting to him.

But he wasn’t free of scrutiny even back at the palace. Queen Amara didn’t talk to him much; she never had, seeing how the two of them might as well have been strangers. But she had been friendly and cordial enough initially. However, now that she had lost Dhurke and Nahyuta in such a short period of time, she had become far more cold and distant towards him. All of it had clearly taken a toll on her, and now she hardly even looked at him when they passed one another. He couldn’t blame her. She had lost a husband and a son. Apollo was not family to her, and she owed him nothing, not even her time.

Rayfa was a different story entirely. A few nights after Nahyuta’s death, she and Apollo had crossed paths in the palace and, in tears, she had shouted at him. She had demanded to know why he hadn’t even tried to save her brother, why Nahyuta would ever think of giving his life for someone like him, why he was here when her brother was not. Apollo didn’t even say anything back. He didn’t try to answer her questions, nor defend himself. He just stood there, and listened to what she had to say. She was crying the whole time she yelled at him; she was still a child, a child who had lost so much and was hurting quite a bit. It wasn’t his place to try to argue with her. Especially when he agreed with every word that had come out of her mouth.

She knocked on his door a few days later and apologized for what she had said. She did seem truly remorseful, and maybe she was, but Apollo’s bracelet never lied. Like brother, like sister he supposed.

About four months after Nahyuta’s death, Apollo determined that he couldn’t stay in Khura’in any longer. He simply… didn’t have a place here anymore. The legal system was well on its way to being restored; with the other law firms that had popped up, Apollo wasn’t the only attorney here anymore; he certainly wasn’t needed, and if the lack of any cases since Nahyuta’s death was any indication, he wasn’t wanted, either. The only reason he had stayed here to begin with was gone, so what was the point in staying?

And it wasn’t just the lack of work that made staying in Khura’in unbearable. He couldn’t stand walking the streets anymore and hearing the frequent gossip about him. Everywhere he seemed to go the relentless whispers of people blaming him for Nahyuta’s death and wondering if it really had been an accident to straight up insulting him in Khura’inese had become too much for him. He already felt guilty enough for what had happened to Nahyuta; he didn’t need every single person in the kingdom to remind him. Apollo wondered how Nahyuta had managed to do it; how had he managed to live for years under the looming weight of a whole society turned against him. Apollo just figured that like most everyone else he knew, Nahyuta was just a lot stronger than him.

But what really did it for him was his living situation. He hated coming home; things were always tense at the palace. He knew he didn’t belong there, as did Amara and Rayfa. It was through Nahyuta’s generosity that he had even been allowed to stay there in the first place. With him gone, Apollo felt even more like a stranger. Why did he get to live with the literal royal family of Khura’in when he was the reason their prince was dead? He couldn’t in good conscious stay here any longer.

Partway through spring, April nineteenth to be exact, Apollo decided to write a letter to Mr. Wright and the rest of the agency to announce his return. He hadn’t kept in touch in awhile; in fact, now that he thought about it, the last time he had sent any word to them was near the end of November, just a few weeks before Nahyuta had died. He had gotten a letter or two from Mr. Wright since then, but he himself hadn’t written any in return. He was sure that didn’t bother his old boss. He knew that Apollo was so often busy in Khura’in that he often didn’t respond for months at a time. And based on the lack of frantic letters and phone calls, he could assume that Datz had kept his promise and hadn't told anyone overseas about what had happened. Apollo absent-mindedly began to wonder what Mr. Wright and the rest of the agency would do if they knew. Until now, he had been the only one of them to have never been accused of murder, so he supposed there was always a first time for everything. What would they do if they had known who had died, though? Would they be like Datz, and find it cruel that he was even accused in the first place? Or would they be like everyone else and look down on him because even though he had been innocent, he hadn’t even tried to save Nahyuta. Somehow, he knew the former was more likely. But his pessimism prevented him from believing it for long.

He pulled out a piece of paper and a pen from his desk and began to write. He was thankful that he was left-handed; the pain in his right arm hadn’t gone away no matter how long it had been since Nahyuta’s death. He supposed he should actually get it looked at sometime. But he could save that for when he was back in the U.S., when he would be able to travel the streets again without hearing frequent gossip about him. It had become so bad recently that he didn't go out much, even though the weather had begun to warm up. He liked the springtime in Khura'in. It was still a little too cold for his liking but the plants that sprouted up during the season were beautiful; it was far more colorful than anything that grew back in L.A.

He remembered when he was growing up here, Dhurke had had a garden near their old cabin for growing vegetables. Apollo liked helping out, especially since it was way less scary than going into town or trying to fish, but Nahyuta complained about it a lot because he thought a flower garden was much prettier. Once Ga'ran had been dethroned and Nahyuta had returned to his rightful place at the palace, he had helped Rayfa plant their own garden in one of the many palace courtyards. Like he did with everything, Nahyuta was a perfectionist and could rattle off all the names of the flowers and where they had come from and so on and so forth. Rayfa didn't seem to care that much about the technical parts of it but she had seemed happy to sit there while he talked, undoing his hair then braiding it again with flowers twisted in. It was one of the few instances Apollo remembered her not being irritated about something. Nahyuta made her pretty happy, and he had honestly been a really great older brother to her.

Looking back on it now, he had been a great older brother to them both, if the fact that he was still here was any indication. He thought about Nahyuta's séance a lot and he couldn't stop thinking about how in his very last moments, the only thing he had cared about was holding him close and making sure he stayed afloat. It made him think of his own father's séance, seeing how he had spent his last waking moments reaching out selflessly in a fruitless attempt to pull Apollo close to him. Apollo shuddered at the thought of it. Wasn't one person dying in an attempt to save his life more than enough? Now Nahyuta had also...

Apollo shook his head. He needed to stop thinking about Nahyuta and what had happened to him. He was leaving. He'd go back to the U.S. and leave it all behind and lock all these negative, dwelling feelings deep away by burying himself in work and companionship like he had done with Clay all those years ago and he'd be just fine. But first he needed to talk to Mr. Wright. It would be rude to come back without any warning. That, and he was sure he would rehire him on the spot and he’d like to have a job upon returning.

Dear Mr. Wright,

First off, I’m sorry I haven’t written in so long. Things have been rather hectic here, and I haven’t found the time to sit down and write you guys. I just wanted to tell you that I think it’s finally over. The Khura’inese Justice System is getting back on its feet and honestly I don’t think I’m wanted needed here anymore. There are a bunch of new defense attorneys in town, and lately they’ve been getting more work than I have. I think that’s a sign that it’s finally time for me to close up shop and come back

Home.

That was what he was going to write, but for some reason his pen hovered just above the paper and he couldn’t put it down. Home. Was… was that what the Wright Anything Agency was to him? Honestly, was that even what L.A. or the U.S. was to him? He wasn’t sure anymore. It had been twenty-six – no, it was twenty-seven now, wasn't it? – years and Apollo still had no idea where he had really come from. He had spent his whole life waiting to find a place to belong and a home he could truly return to. He had waited in Khura’in for his mom, he had waited in the U.S. for Dhurke, he had given up on both entirely and tried to forge his own path… so what, in his life, was home?

Home was with Grandpa, where there was fresh tea on the table after school and lessons on English by nightfall and mantras of I’m fine when he couldn’t sleep. Home was with Clay, where they always had a hand wrapped around each other’s shoulders and there was laughter and star gazing late into the night talking about anything and everything so long as they were together. And, for a while there, home had been here, in Khura’in with Nahyuta, where passionate trials focused on the truth and fixing the Khura’inese Justice System preceded quiet evenings of reminiscing on years lost with his foster brother.

He supposed, in a way, the Wright Anything Agency was like a home to him too. He missed it frequently ever since he had come to Khura’in. He missed Trucy practicing her magic tricks while the attorneys worked away, occasionally stealing his badge and making it disappear in her magic panties as a distraction when he got too worked up about something. He missed the way Athena would make fun of him for leaving manga out on his desk or for shouting so loudly that it scared the neighbors. And he missed Mr. Wright, a mysterious but reassuring figure in the office, laughing gently at all of their antics and jokingly telling them to get back to work. But, aside from the Wright Anything Agency, what did all of his homes have in common?

They had all ended.

Grandpa had died on what was supposed to be one of the most joyous occasions in Apollo’s young life, and he had come home too late to save him. Clay had been murdered in cold blood only hours after confessing to and kissing him, on the very day he was supposed to be fulfilling his dreams, and he hadn’t even said goodbye to him, let alone said he loved him too. And Nahyuta… he had spent his whole life living in hiding, in fear, in persecution… and now that he had just gotten the taste of freedom and love and family that he so deserved, he had thrown it away just to save him?

He wasn’t worth it. He had never been worth it. All of these people, not to mention Dhurke and his own father and his mother, wherever she was, deserved far better than him. Yet here he was, the cause of all of their misfortune, the reason for their bitter ends, still alive and breathing.

Apollo’s hand began to shake as he gripped the pen, still unable to write another word down. Just… what the fuck was he doing? Why did he think it would be a good idea to go back to his friends at the Wright Anything Agency when he was nothing but a ticking time bomb waiting to explode?

You’re bad luck!

If he returned, it would only be a matter of time before one of the set pieces he had made for Trucy would fall down and crush her.

Nothing good ever happens when you’re around!

If he returned, how long would it take before he did something else to hurt Athena? He had stormed the courtroom, relentlessly blaming her for murdering his best friend just as she was about to be acquitted. What kind of friend was he?

No one wants you; not even your parents!

Would Mr. Wright even want him back? Would any of them even want him back? They could all take care of themselves just fine without him! If anything, their lives had just become worse once he had reared his head around. Trucy had been accused of murder and his set piece had been one of many things used to frame her. Athena had been forced to relive her old traumas and Apollo himself had accused her for a crime she didn’t commit in the midst of it all. And not even an hour after meeting him, Apollo had punched poor Mr. Wright in the face!

He couldn’t hide from it or deny it any longer; he was cursed. Those words Nahyuta had told him all those years ago still rung true, even today. He was bad luck. Nothing good ever happened when he was around. Nobody wanted him; not even his parents. It had been proven again and again and again. With so many mistakes, misfortunes and tragedies all by his hand, there was no way he could pretend he wasn’t anymore. It didn’t matter that Dhurke had told him that no one was unlucky, it didn’t matter that Clay had insisted that everything Nahyuta had said back then was bullshit, it didn’t matter that Nahyuta himself had told him that his life was balanced and believing he was cursed was ridiculous. What did any of that matter when all of them had been victims to the misfortune he seemed to bring with him with each step he took?

Apollo crumpled up the letter to Mr. Wright and tossed it into the trashcan. It seemed that the most he could do for anyone at this point was disappear.

At twenty-seven years old, Apollo vanished off the face of the earth.

Now, Apollo Justice was not a Gramayre. Not even close. Despite the numerous times he had been Trucy’s magician’s assistant, he still couldn’t make heads or tails of how she pulled off her tricks. He wasn’t magical; couldn’t disappear without a trace in a cloud of smoke like Zak had done all those years ago during that fateful case with Mr. Wright, even if he wanted to. But still, nonetheless, he decided to disappear.

That night, he left Khura’in under the cover of nightfall and hadn’t told a soul about it. Not any of the remaining royal family, or Datz, or even Ahlbi. He didn't bring much with him and he left his bedroom back at the palace and the Sahdmahdi Law Firm just the way they were. That way, it’d take awhile for anyone to notice that he had even left. Considering how few people liked him here, he figured that by the time anyone noticed something was up, he would already be long gone. He didn’t leave a note for anyone indicating where he had gone, either. He didn’t want to be found. The less people that knew about where he was or what he was doing, the better. He couldn’t hurt anyone else if no one could find him.

He locked up the Sahmadhi Law Firm for the very last time stared back up it for a moment in silence. He remembered just about three years ago he had worked himself to the bone to clean this place up and make it the kind of law firm Dhurke would’ve been proud of. That had worked for a couple years, he supposed. But looking upon the building now just made him feel somber. How long had it been since anyone aside from himself had opened that door? Even now he could see the paint he had applied a few years back beginning to fade. How long would it take for this place to fall into obscurity once again? How long would it take for it to become a dusty, forgotten relic, belonging to someone the whole nation despised? This wasn’t the legacy Dhurke deserved. He had trusted Apollo to make things better; so had Nahyuta! But now it seemed that everything he had worked for was going to be tarnished once again. Apollo was about to place the key back in his pocket, but he hesitated. Did he really deserve to hold on to the one thing that Dhurke had left behind?

No, he didn’t.

“I’m sorry, Dhurke.” Apollo said, placing the key on the windowsill. “I'm sure someone else will take care of this place. Someone better. I promise.” His fingers lingered on the windowsill for a moment longer and he took a deep, shuddering breath. “…Bye, Dhurke. And thank you for taking care of me.”

He walked away from the old building for the last time, and forced himself not to look back.

When he arrived at the airport halfway across the world in the U.S., no one was waiting for him, as expected. He remembered that the last time he had flown here he was eight years old and he was lost and confused and he was terrified out of his wits at the possibility of being alone and forgotten. Today, he wanted nothing more than just that. He felt nothing as he carried himself through the airport terminal and further and further away from Khura’in.

He hadn’t told anyone he was coming back here. Hopefully, it would take a few days or even a week or so for anyone to notice he was even gone. No one at the palace talked to him anymore and business at the Sahdmahdi Law Firm had been next to nonexistent as of late. But knowing Datz, it would only be a matter of time before he noticed something was up and, with no other leads, would call the Wright Anything Agency asking if any of them knew what happened to him. He didn’t want that, really. He didn’t want to worry poor Datz or any of his friends here more than he already had in the past. Everyone would be happier if he was gone. He took solace knowing that by the time Datz would likely be searching for him, he would already have vanished. After all, he knew the perfect place to go and disappear.

There was one place… one place in L.A. that he could go where he knew no one would find him. After all, every single person who knew about this place was long since dead and gone. Apollo took a cab from the airport to Grandpa’s old house on the outskirts of town. He was thankful to see that it hadn’t been torn down; he figured that sooner or later someone would do something with the patch of land and that sad little cabin; but for now it stood resilient, surrounded by long, unkempt grass. It saddened him a little to see how undisturbed the grass looked. He and Clay used to come here so frequently to stargaze after looking for any sign of Dhurke that oftentimes they’d leave matted patches in the grass from where they had been laying all night until it had either gotten to cold or they had gotten too tired to stay out any longer. Of course, that had been years ago now, and the grass clearly hadn’t been walked in for years.

The last time he had been here, he remembered, was when Clay had told him he loved him. Thinking back on that night always made his heart feel heavy. Something like that should have been one of his fondest memories… but it had all been over far too quickly. He wished he had kissed him more, and held him more, and above all else he wished he had said something.

Before he could dwell on Clay for too long, however, he noticed something out of place. The old rusty mailbox had a white envelope jutting out of it. Strange. Grandpa had been dead for over a decade now. Who could possibly still be sending him mail? Apollo curiously pulled the letter out of the box and to his surprise, found his own name written on it. Inside, he found not a letter, but an all too familiar essay:

Apollo Justice

5/21/16

In fifteen years, when I’m twenty-seven years old, I’m going to be a lawyer. By then, I won’t be living in the U.S. anymore. I’ll be back home, in Khura’in!

Khura’in is way different from the U.S. Right now, it’s illegal to be a defense attorney. Things are so scary over there that I live here, with my grandpa now. But it won’t be that way forever. Dhurke My father has been working hard to fix things for when I come back. He’s going to bring me back as soon as he’s done, and that’s any day now. I’m so excited for him to come back! I miss him and my sorta stepbrother a lot!

Anyways, in fifteen years, that law will be gone, and I’m going to be living in Khura’in with my father, my stepbrother, and my grandpa, too. He used to be a lawyer, and so was my dad. Along with that, my stepbrother wants to be a prosecutor when he grows up, that way he and father can work together in court. I want to be a lawyer too, that way I can spend everyday with them! In fifteen years my grandpa might be too old to be a lawyer, but he’ll still live with us anyways. So will my mom! And we’ll all be a big family and spend every day together.

I’m really looking forward to the future ahead of me!

Apollo’s hand shook as he read the essay over and over again. He had honestly completely forgotten all about this silly time capsule of a final paper. Had it really been fifteen years? Already? It felt like just yesterday he had been sitting at Grandpa’s table, asking him about what being a lawyer was like as they sipped tea and he paused in his writing to let him check his spelling. Back then he had been so excited. As he wrote the paper, the future he was describing felt all the more real with each word he put down on the paper. Fifteen years seemed like an eternity when he was a little kid; he knew that by then things certainly would change. In a way, that young, naïve child hadn’t been completely wrong. Fifteen years later the DC Act had indeed been erased from Khura’in’s law books.

But nothing else on this paper had been correct. He wasn’t even close! He thought he’d be in Khura’in, living with Dhurke and Nahyuta again, and Grandpa would be there too and somehow he would’ve been able to find his mother and she would’ve wanted to be in his life again and they would all be some big, happy family together.

Oh, how naïve had he been.

He felt so silly for ever thinking that way. Why had he ever thought that there was any semblance of a happy future in store for him? Someone like him, who had been cursed seemingly from the day he was born! Aside from his mother, every single person mentioned in the letter was dead. All of which he had witnessed or in some way contributed to. Despite the tears Apollo could feel welling up in his eyes, he was thankful for the letter. It just made his resolve stronger; he would stay here, alone, and ensure that he never ruined anyone else’s life ever again. He would never be able to delude himself into believing that there was some happy future with friends and family in store for him. What good was it to hope for that when it was his fault it always fell apart?

Not that it mattered anymore. None of it mattered anymore. All that mattered now was finishing his disappearing act. And he was already part of the way there. All he had to do now was wait.

He had had so many opportunities in the past to vanish, but he hadn’t taken up a single one of them. He should have burned away as an infant in the fire that had taken his father’s life. He should have drowned when he was eight, or again when he was twenty-four and he and Dhurke got lost in that cave near Kurain Village, or again at twenty-six when Nahyuta had died protecting him. He should’ve starved alone in Grandpa’s empty old home when he was twelve. He should’ve died at twenty-three in the explosion or the assault immediately after Clay’s death. He supposed at least now he could accept one of those fates.

And so, Apollo waited to vanish.

As the days since his return bled into weeks, then into months it made no difference to him. It was almost as if time itself had vanished along with him. He didn’t do much, and if he did, he didn’t recall much. He vaguely remembered eating every once in awhile though it was far from a priority. He felt like he had gotten up and tidied up Grandpa’s house at some point or another. He remembered finding that old letter he had written for Dhurke when he was twelve, covered in so much dust that the words were no longer visible. He tore it to shreds and threw it away. Maybe he had gone outside for some fresh air on a couple of occasions, though he never went very far. He slept a lot too, probably, but he wasn’t entirely sure; time seemed to stop, and all he did or didn’t do seemed to blur into nothing.

The only thing he was certain of was that he had gotten sick at some point when the weather began to grow chilly. It felt like a cold, but it kept getting worse. He was weak, and dizzy when he stood up, and he coughed a lot and he didn’t need a thermometer to know that he was feverish. Regardless, he didn’t do anything to remedy it. He’d either get over it on his own time or he’d succumb to it. Either worked, really. Though it was a little annoying that his chest ached anytime he inhaled.

However, the constant blur of meaningless, tedious time seemed to stop abruptly one cold, December day. When Apollo woke up that morning – or was it afternoon? – he still felt terrible. His fever still hadn’t broken – how long had it been since it had even started? – and a violent coughing fit had woken him up. He got up and pulled open the curtains. It was cold today, if the thick fog was any indication. In fact, based on how gray and cloudy it was outside, it might even snow. Something about today felt… off. His heart felt heavy, and he wasn’t sure how he knew, but he felt like today must be December 15^th, or close to it. He knew it must be December at least, if the holiday lights he could see in town from the window were any indication. All he wanted to do was go back to sleep again, but he ultimately decided against it. There was one last thing he needed to do; something he hadn’t been able to do in the years prior, something he owed Clay at least this much to do now. His entire body ached, but Apollo forced himself to get up, to put on Clay’s tattered old jacket, and leave the house.

He gazed at the grass surrounding the house as he walked through it. It was very cold out today and the ground was currently covered in a light dusting of powdered snow. He gulped when he realized that four years ago to this exact day he and Clay had sat in this very spot and star gazed, talking about their futures as if they had any clue of what was to come, blissfully unaware that the time they had left together was quickly coming to a close. He thought about that night a lot actually, but now that he was in the same spot, it felt all the more real that it had actually happened… and that it had been taken from him so quickly. He shut his eyes and thought back to that night for a moment, to when Clay had nervously told him that loved him beneath the starlight. It had been four years already, yet even now he could still feel Clay’s shaky hand on his cheek as he kissed him that night. It was the last time in… forever, really, that he felt as if he was really wanted. Even if he had been confused back then, even if he had still been trying to sort out how exactly he felt about Clay, he still couldn’t forget just how… happy he had felt that night. The way Clay had kept kissing him when they had gotten back to the apartment, the way Clay had held him close when they went to bed that night. It had made him feel like he was something worth cherishing. It really had been so nice.

Apollo was pulled from the memories of that blissful night by yet another coughing fit. Right. He needed to stop thinking about the past right now. It had been four years, Clay was dead, and he had been standing here and dwelling long enough. He headed the other way, towards the city.

Apollo didn’t talk to anyone as he made his way through the busy streets. No one paid him any mind, either. Honestly, he was kind of thankful for that. He didn’t want to draw any attention to himself. And when he glanced at himself when he passed by a store window, he figured he kind of knew the reason why people were avoiding him.

To put it simply, he looked like shit. He looked disheveled; he couldn’t remember the last time he had slicked his hair up the way he usually had it and he looked messy with it hanging down his face like this. He had grown rather skinny as well but at least he didn’t look too filthy since he rarely went out. Honestly, he hardly looked like himself anymore, especially without his usual red suit. But his appearance reminded him of how he must have looked in middle school, right around the time when Clay had befriended him and saved his life and…

No, no, he needed to stop thinking about Clay! He had something he needed to do. He looked away from the window and kept walking, trying to keep his thoughts off the past for once.

There was no one here who would have any interest in talking to him, but he did enjoy watching people as they went shopping. He nearly forgot that the holiday season was coming up, but if the decorated storefronts and colorful lights were any indication, they were upon them now. He remembered every year around New Years, Mr. Wright would hold a party at the Wright Anything Agency. He always enjoyed those parties, and was always surprised by the turnout. Friends of the attorneys, people they had defended in the past, sometimes even some of the detectives and prosecutors would turn up too. It had always been a lot of fun, and he missed it. He wondered if right now, Mr. Wright and Athena were making plans for that party themselves. Trucy would probably be in charge of decorations like she usually was; no one ever felt the need to tell her that most people didn’t decorate their homes for New Year’s with scarves and playing cards but she always found a way to make it look nice. He had half a mind to stop by and see for himself when New Year’s rolled around but… no; he didn’t really belong there. In retrospect, he had only worked for Mr. Wright for about two and a half years. He didn’t really belong there anymore, and he was sure enough people would show up that his absence wouldn’t even be noticed.

Apollo stopped into a florist’s, and picked out a lovely bouquet of chrysanthemums in purple and white. Apollo didn’t know much about flowers, but he remembered overhearing Juniper excitedly talking about flowers and their meanings with Athena one time when she had been visiting the agency. She said that chrysanthemums represented lamentation and mourning and were often used in funeral services. Now that he thought about it, he had seen them at Clay’s funeral, as well as Nahyuta’s. Not that Clay would likely know or care about the flower’s meaning. But somehow, they seemed appropriate. He thankfully still had some money for the flowers; after all, it’s not like he had been spending much on taking care of himself. He headed out into the cold once more.

By the time he reached the cemetery, the sun had already set and it was freezing outside. He meant to get there quicker, but it’s not like he had his bike with him anymore and he was just too weak to run or jog there. Thankfully, the gates weren’t locked and he wasn’t even the only person visiting the cemetery that night. A purple convertible and a black truck were the only signs that someone else was here, though he didn’t see either of their owners as he made his way to Clay’s grave.

“Hey, Clay.” Apollo said. The dark gravestone said nothing in return. Apollo knelt down before it, dusting some of the snow that had coated the top of it off with his arm. “I’m sorry I haven’t visited in… ever, I guess. I just wasn’t able to.” The last time he had been here had been during Clay’s funeral. He had watched in silence as Clay was buried right beside his mother, both taken far too young. Apollo had been expected to give a speech then, too. Just like Nahyuta’s funeral, he hadn’t been able to say much. He had tried to recall some funny story from their childhood, something that could possibly lighten the mood. But what could possibly lift the spirits of a funeral being held for a twenty-three year old that had been moments away from achieving his dreams? He couldn’t think of anything. No funny anecdotes about pranking a teacher they didn’t like in high school or going on the tea cups so many times they threw up when they were thirteen or accidentally hitting Mr. Terran in the face when they threw their caps at college graduation could possibly do much to change the heavy mood that weighed down upon them all that day.

That, and the sight of his boyfriend, his best friend, and his closest and longest consistent family being lowered into the ground had rendered his chords of steel silent. There was no way he could have properly conveyed how much Clay had meant to him, how he had saved his life, cheered him up when he was down, kept him company when he had no one, made him feel like he was worth something. Besides, what good would saying any of that do? What sort of inspiration was he, or anyone supposed to take from that? Clay wasn't just gone, he had been taken; and nothing he could say would possibly derive any inspiration from that bitter truth. So he had stood there, unable to say a word as the weight of everything he had lost threatened to crush him. He left the cemetery that day and buried himself in work the very next morning, and the next day and the day after that and again and again, selfishly finding any reason to not come back and visit. Anything to pretend that Clay’s absence hadn’t left a huge hole in his heart.

“It was selfish of me to wait so long. And I’m sorry for that. But, um… I brought you flowers.” Apollo said, placing the bouquet in a vase beside the headstone. There were other flowers already placed inside; based on their decay, they were about a week or so old. Apollo assumed they were likely from Mr. Terran, as there was a matching vase by Mrs. Terran’s grave, too.

Mr. Terran… he hadn’t seen him in years, either. Now that he thought about it, the last time he had seen him in person was at Clay’s funeral. Things had been strained between them since Clay’s passing. Apollo was not his son, nor was he his father. It had always been that way; after all, Apollo had gone to live at his place under the guise of leaving any day now. Of course they had gotten fairly close and friendly during the years they had spent together, but it just couldn’t be the same without Clay there, too. He was what had brought them together in the first place, and him being gone made it all the more obvious that something was missing. It didn’t feel right visiting Mr. Terran without having Clay there too, boasting proudly about the last exam he had aced in college or complaining about how much he missed his dad’s cooking now that he and Apollo lived on their own. The two of them had written back and forth a few times before Apollo had gone off and ran away to Khura’in, and their letters were always cordial and friendly enough, but it was always painfully clear that it just couldn’t be the same.

“It’s been four years already, huh? I can’t believe that. It never really felt like you were gone, y’know? I kept expecting you to be there when I came back home at night, watching cartoons and judging me for staying out so late. As if you were any better, always up until one in the morning on your computer.” He said with a smile. “…It was really quiet without you. That’s… kinda why I ended up leaving for Khura’in. I hope you’re not too mad about that.”

Silence.

“Dhurke, can you believe it, he finally came back for me. Of course, he was already dead by the time he did so.” He laughed, bitterly. “It’s really complicated. I’ll spare you the details for now; it’d probably bore you like my gushing about Mr. Wright in college did. …But Dhurke, he came back, he really did, so I, um, I kinda jumped on the opportunity to go with him. I know I told you that I wouldn’t. That I’d give him a piece of my mind if he ever bothered to show up, that kinda thing. But… I didn’t. It didn’t matter how mad I was. I guess deep down I always wanted to see him again, I wanted the closest thing I had ever had to a father actually want me back. That’s pretty sad, huh? But it’s true. That… and I guess it was a reason to not have to come home to an empty apartment every night.”

Apollo coughed into his arm a couple times before continuing.

“But you wanna know what happened when I got there? I fucked it up. I fucked it up big time. Dhurke died. I lived with Nahyuta for a while. And it… it actually felt like it could’ve been home again, y’know? It actually felt like… I dunno… like I might have actually belonged there. But… you want to know why I’m even back here, Clay? Because I wound up killing Nahyuta, too. Remember how I told you that one time when I was younger, the two of us nearly drowned in a river? Well, it happened again. I fell into the river… the same fucking one, and Nahyuta saved me. At the cost of his own life. He bashed his head against a rock really hard. He had been so focused on saving me that he hadn’t even noticed…” Apollo gazed at his hands and for a moment he saw Nahyuta’s instead, during his séance. Apollo couldn’t stop thinking about how the only thing he had focused on, even while dying was keeping him safe… He shook his head, trying to get rid of the intrusive thoughts and return to the here and now in the cold of the cemetary. Nahyuta was gone. He was gone, and Apollo would have to deal with the fact that he was standing in his place for however long he should have left. “The people of Khura’in… they blamed me, too. They said it was a mistake for him to save me at all. They said that if I wasn’t around, Nahyuta would still be here. They… they said I’m cursed.”

Apollo could feel tears welling up in his eyes.

“I know I sound like a broken record when I talk about this… but I think I may actually be cursed. Remember when, that same time when I was little, Nahyuta got really mad at me? He said it was because I was bad luck, that nothing good ever happened while I was around, that nobody wanted me, not even my parents. I know you said that it was all bullshit. I tried to believe you, honestly, I did. But… I’m sorry, I just can’t. I think he might’ve been right. Most people don’t want me around. I killed the prince of Khura’in, I’ve done nothing for Mr. Wright and Trucy, I hurt poor Athena… oh, and that thing with Prosecutor Gavin? Yeah, I still haven’t been able clear that up. I haven’t talked to him in years! And those few people that did want me? They all died! Every single one of them! My dad, Grandpa, Dhurke, Nahyuta… even you, Clay! Honestly, I don’t know why you fell in love with me. Was I ever really worth it? I mean… I never even noticed! And by the time I did, it was too late and you… you…”

He was cut off by another violent coughing fit. Ugh, his chest hurt. And despite the chilly weather he still felt feverish and sweaty.

“Clay, thank you for saving me when I was twelve. I appreciate it, really. But… you shouldn’t have done that. Things would’ve been way better for you… for everyone if I had just died back then!”

He felt too light headed to stand much longer and slowly sat down before the grave.

“I know you’d be pissed at me if you heard me say that but… you’re dead. You’re not actually hearing any of this, you’re not even here at all, and I’m talking to a grave right now, not you. It doesn’t matter. None of it does.”

He gazed up at the dark night sky, and found that it had started snowing, lightly.

“Ha… and here I was kinda hoping we could watch the stars together one last time, but I guess not.”

God, he was tired. And his chest hurt and it hurt to breathe and he still felt so unbearably feverish and light headed. He knew that he should probably get up and walk back home. He was out way later than he had meant to be anyways, but he was too exhausted to get up. Apollo scooted back so he was side by side with the grave and leaned heavily against it.

“I hope you don’t mind if I lean against you for a little bit, Clay. I’m… really tired.”

There was no response, and the cool headstone felt nice against his feverish skin. Apollo had planned to disappear completely in Grandpa’s old house, but he determined this spot wasn’t too bad, either. It was peaceful, and quiet, and when he finally vanished he wouldn’t need to be moved too far.

He let his eyes slip shut.

Apollo wasn’t sure how long he had been resting there in the dark, drifting in and out of consciousness as his body became numb from the cold, when he heard footsteps approaching him. He was too weary to open his eyes, let alone try to get up and move. He just hoped that whoever was passing by would do just that: pass by and leave him be. Clay’s tattered old jacket was a dark color anyways; perhaps he wouldn’t even be noticed.

“…Excuse me?” The stranger asked. Whoever it was, their voice was growing closer.

Apollo made no effort to move or reply to them. Not that he could, even if he wanted to. His limbs felt heavy from the cold and he felt far too exhausted to move and all he wanted to do was sleep. 

“It’s really late. And cold. You should get going. I can walk you out if you want?”

Whoever it was, it sounded like a man’s voice. Apollo still didn’t respond; he was on the brink of consciousness and just listening to this person was a struggle in of itself. The stranger knelt down beside him and for some reason, he sounded familiar.

“Hey, can you even hear me?”

The stranger put his hand on Apollo's shoulder gently. In his delirious state, he could’ve sworn it was Dhurke. The stranger’s grip on his shoulder reminded him of Dhurke; he’d always do that when he was trying to comfort him or cheer him up when he was a kid. Back then it had felt so firm, so reassuring… it always worked. Even though he had never called him dad, Apollo missed having such a reliable foster father while growing up. 

“Are you all right?”

The stranger started shaking him gently, trying to get some sort of reaction out of him. Now he imagined him to be Clay, who had shaken him awake like that many times before when he got up early and he couldn’t contain his excitement about something. He remembered Clay had done that the morning after Klavier had gotten drunk and passed out on their couch. It seemed so long ago now. Even if he hadn't been able to determine his feelings in time, Apollo missed the excitable best friend turned boyfriend he had spent most his life with. 

“H-hey, wake up.”

The stranger pulled him away from the grave and, with nothing left keeping him up, Apollo collapsed onto his back in the cold grass. He still couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes, but now he imagined that the stranger kneeling beside him was Nahyuta. When they were growing up together, sometimes Nahyuta would get antsy and wake Apollo up by tugging at his quilt so hard that he fell off the bed with it. He stopped when Apollo started doing that back to him. Even though they weren't actually related, Apollo missed the intelligent brother he had grown up with. 

“A-Apollo?!” He heard the stranger gasp suddenly. 

Oh, he must be hallucinating. Didn’t that happen sometimes when people froze to death? There was no way some stranger in the cemetery would recognize him of all people. He was hearing things, or maybe this person didn’t even exist at all and this was some last-ditch effort by his imagination to have someone keep him company before he died. Yes, that’s what this must be.

“What happened to you?! You’re so cold, you-” The stranger pulled Apollo up into his arms and started shaking him more rigorously now, clearly growing desperate. “Come on, wake up! Please, wake up!”

Apollo began to feel himself losing consciousness and everything the stranger was saying sounded a bit muffled. At least it felt kind of nice to be held like this.

Wake up, come on, I know you’re stronger than this!

The stranger’s voice was growing more faint now but the more he listened to it, the prettier it sounded to him. With how repetitive his dialogue was becoming, it almost sounded like a song.

Please, please, stay with me! I’m calling for help so stay with me, okay? Please!

Apollo was certain that he must have been hallucinating now. After all, the last thing he heard the stranger say before finally passing out was:

Stay with me, Herr Forehead!

At five years old, Apollo was running through the damp grass surrounding Dhurke’s old cabin. He was playing hide and seek with Nahyuta and his throat was hoarse as he desperately searched the woods around the river for any sign of his foster brother.

He found Nahyuta standing on rock in the middle of the rushing river, looking scared as he realized that he was stuck. Apollo knelt down, tried to reach his hand out and pull him up… but he was too short and when their fingers brushed they tumbled in together. He held onto Nahyuta tightly and shut his eyes as he fell into the frigid water.

But when he opened them, he wasn’t five anymore but twenty-six and Nahyuta wasn’t a frightened child splashing around desperately but a grown adult petrified with fear as blood streamed from the wound on the back of his head. Apollo screamed and tried to pull him closer, to do something to stop the bleeding, but it didn’t matter how hard he tried, Nahyuta kept drifting further and further away from his grasp.

Strong arms wrapped around his waist and he was pulled away from Nahyuta’s corpse, and suddenly he was a child again, and Dhurke was carrying him away from the river in his firm grasp, then away from Khura’in as a whole and now Apollo wasn’t five, but eight, and he was scared out of his wits as Dhurke took him to the airport and waved him goodbye but Apollo didn’t want him to go and please, no, don’t leave me alone, I’m scared, Dhurke, I’m really scared! But for some reason the words wouldn’t leave his sore throat and Dhurke went away.

Dhurke’s firm hand left his and was soon replaced by Grandpa’s and the two walked together but with each passing step Grandpa’s grip grew weaker and weaker until he disappeared entirely and Apollo was twelve and completely alone again feeling weak and shaky as his skinny legs threatened to give out beneath him. But he continued walking.

He was twenty-one and there was Kristoph Gavin, proudly presenting him his attorney’s badge after his long internship but as Apollo passed him the scar on his hand became all the more noticeable and his hair because unkempt and haunting laughter followed him as Apollo quickened his pace and kept going.

He was twenty-two and for a brief, fleeting moment he stopped as he passed Klavier Gavin and he grabbed his hand but when he looked into that beautiful face he saw that blank, uneasy expression that he had tried so hard to forget about and as much as he wanted to keep holding onto that warm hand guilt and shame pushed him to run even faster without looking back at him even once.

He was twenty-three and twenty-four and as he kept running Mr. Wright’s hand brushed against his shoulder and Trucy grabbed his hand for a moment before he shook her grip off and Athena gave him a pat on the back but he kept going, kept running away from those reassuring figures in his life before his presence inevitably did something cause them to disappear as well.

And just when he felt like he was going to pass out from exhaustion, he was twelve again, and Clay stood before him, a bright, reassuring smile on his face as he spread his arms, welcoming Apollo into a hug. Apollo took it and collapsed into his embrace and held him tight but suddenly he wasn’t twelve anymore but twenty-three and the hug was fleeting when a loud, horrible explosion rang through his ears and when he pulled away the only thing he found in his bandaged-up arms was Clay’s tattered jacket and there was nothing else, there was nothing left and Apollo was twenty-six or was it twenty-seven now and his body was cold and numb and his chest hurt every time he inhaled and the only thing he was conscious of is Nahyuta’s young, childish voice cursing him again and again with each and every mistake he ever made.

You’re bad luck!

The words rang in his ears so loudly that for a moment Apollo worried that it would shatter his eardrums.

Nothing good ever happens when you’re around!

Apollo pressed his hands against his ears so hard that he felt as if his head might burst.

No one wants you; not even your parents!

The voice was so loud and it was making his head pound and he couldn’t stop the horrible ringing in his ears and it was all too much and it wouldn’t go away it wouldn’t stop it wouldn’t stop it wouldn’t stop and he started screaming and screaming until his eyes flew open and he realized his hoarse throat was making no noise at all.

Apollo’s heart was pounding in his chest as he took short, shallow breaths; breathing any deeper hurt far too much. He tried to calm himself. It was a dream, it was a dream, it had just been an awful dream… He kept silently repeating that to himself as he tried to focus on his surroundings and become grounded in reality.

For a moment, he was completely lost when his senses caught up to him. Much to his surprise, he wasn’t in the cemetery anymore, sitting alone in the snow with his body pressed against Clay’s cold headstone. He was propped up in a hospital bed, and while chills still ran through his body he was warmer than he had been in quite some time. But he was sick of hospitals. This was the third time he had awoken in a hospital in the last five years, and he hated the unnaturally sterile smell of the room and the general weariness he felt from laying there, and the dull ache in his arm from the IV needle. It reminded him all too much of when he had awoken from the explosion after Clay had…

Apollo shook his head. He needed to stop thinking about Clay. He gazed down at his hand, for a moment considering ripping the IV out and leaving just as he had the past two times he had been hospitalized. But that train of thought crashed and burned when he noticed someone else’s hand in his own.

Klavier Gavin of all people was holding Apollo’s hand firmly. Apollo gasped at the sight of him. So... it really had been Klavier that had found him last night? Honestly, he was so certain that he had been hallucinating. Even now, he would have believed that this was some sort of dream if it weren’t for the dull pain he felt all over reminding him that he was indeed conscious. Despite Apollo’s staring, Klavier didn’t notice that he had awoken yet. He was looking ahead of him seemingly at nothing and to say he seemed anxious was an understatement. He had his drill braid wrapped around his other hand as he nervously twisted and untwisted it around his fingers. His eyes were wide and frightened and even from where he was laying, Apollo could see the tears running down his cheeks.

It made Apollo feel sick. Klavier did not strike him as someone who would cry easily. He always acted so cool and confident and even on the few occasions he had been scared or upset, he had simply gone silent or hidden it all beneath a gentle smile. But here he was, the picture of distraught, crying softly in the quiet hospital room as he held Apollo’s hand in his trembling one. Apollo didn’t realize how upsetting it’d be to see him cry and now that he was witnessing it himself, he wanted nothing more than to reach out, to cheer him up, to do something, anything to wipe those tears away.

“Prosecu-” The name died on his lips as he was interrupted by yet another violent coughing fit, but it was enough to catch Klavier’s attention.

“A-Apollo?” He gasped, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth. Apollo’s throat still hurt far too much to respond, so he just nodded. And when he did so, Klavier let out another choked sob. “Thank goodness…!”

Klavier rushed out of his chair and embraced him. Despite how panicked he was he held Apollo gently, as if squeezing him too hard would break him. Not that Apollo minded. All he could think about was the sensation of Klavier’s arms wrapped around him and how warm he felt and how he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had been hugged like this. Nahyuta’s funeral, maybe? He felt like Datz had his arm around his shoulder, but that was it. Maybe when Clay had confessed to him? But even that had been four years ago. It felt nice, but he felt far too exhausted to hug him back and just lay there in Klavier’s embrace as he cried on his shoulder.

“Sorry,” Klavier said when he finally pulled away, “I didn’t hurt you, did I? I was just so relieved that I…”

“Don’t worry about me.” Apollo replied, after clearing his throat. “I mean it’s just a cold, I’m fine-”

“You do not get to ‘I’m fine’ your way out of this one, Apollo!” Klavier snapped. Apollo was going to argue something in return but he noticed that Klavier was still crying a little and he had never seen him this upset or unguarded before so he held his tongue and let him speak. “Just a cold - really? I find you passed out in a cemetery, cold as ice and unmoving and you tell me not to worry about you?! You weren’t waking up, Apollo! You were barely even breathing! I thought you had actually died!” He anxiously ran a hand through his hair and let out a shaky breath. “Do you have any idea how worried we’ve all been about you? You’ve been missing for nearly a year now! We had no idea what happened to you! We had no idea where you might be, if someone had hurt you, if you had been kidnapped… Apollo, we thought you might be dead! Of course I’m going to worry about you!”

He paused, seemingly to catch his breath, running his hand through his long hair so anxiously that he managed to unfurl it from its trademark drill.

“…I’m sorry.” Apollo finally said, his voice sounding all the more weak in the heavy atmosphere of the room.

“…Nein. I should apologize, Herr Forehead, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. It’s... just overwhelming to see you here. I’m so happy you’re finally awake. I really, truly thought that you might be…” He trailed off; gazing at Apollo nervously, as if saying the word dead would make it so.

“I’m…” The word fine was on the tip of his tongue but it seemed that Klavier didn’t need a magic bracelet to see through that lie. “I’m here, Prosecutor Gavin. It’s okay.”

“Well… How are you feeling?” Klavier pressed the back of his hand against Apollo’s forehead. “Ach, you feel feverish. At least you’re not freezing anymore, I suppose.”

“Honestly? I feel awful.” Apollo paused to cough. “I’ve had this cold for… I don’t even know how long. It’s really annoying.”

“That’s probably because it’s not a cold. Herr Forehead, you have pneumonia.”

“Oh.” No wonder his chest hurt so much. “Still! I should be over it by now.”

“Ja, you would be over it by now if you weren’t severely underweight and freezing to death in the cold.”

Apollo just looked away at that, feeling rather guilty.

“What happened to your arm?”

Apollo glanced at his right arm where, lo and behold, it was done up in a cast around his wrist. Oh. Right. So he really had broken it all those months ago in the river? He had meant to get it checked after Nahyuta’s death but he kept putting it off. It didn’t matter how much it hurt, he just hadn’t had the motivation to do anything about it.

“I broke it, I guess.” He answered, idly running his fingers along the cast.

“What do you mean ‘I guess’? Most people know when they’ve broken something!”

Apollo didn’t respond to that. Maybe he had known deep down that it was broken but why should he care? What did a broken wrist matter when his foster brother had lost his life the very same day?

“…Herr Forehead, what happened to you?”

“Well… Um…” Apollo wasn’t quite sure how to describe any of this in a way that would make any sense and wouldn’t upset him. Klavier seemed to notice his hesitancy and gently placed his hand on Apollo’s shoulder.

“Don’t be afraid. You’re safe now. You can talk to me… I’m a prosecutor, remember? I will make sure that whoever did this to you will be properly punished. So… please tell me.”

Oh. So that’s what Klavier thought had happened to him. He supposed it was plausible. He had gone missing for nearly a year and turned up in a cemetery looking as if he had been attacked and left for dead. Apollo almost wished that was what had happened. At least that would have been easier to explain.

“No, no, it was nothing like that, I swear.” Apollo replied, choosing his words carefully. “I was, um, visiting Clay last night. I was sick and it was really cold and I guess I passed out? I meant to go earlier but I just didn’t want to leave Clay yet. Sorry… I don’t know if that makes any sense.”

“…I see.” Klavier’s piercing gaze softened a little. “And ja, that does make sense. I know how much he meant to you. I'm sorry.”

“It’s okay. I mean it’s been four years, so…” He trailed off, not wanting to think or talk about Clay. It didn’t matter that he said it had been four years; it still hurt to think about him.

“That still doesn’t explain what happened to you, though.”

“Um…” Yeah, there was no way he could sugar coat that without blatantly lying. But he was a lawyer. He was a lawyer, and it was his job to get around things without lying. But if he was being honest he hadn't stood in a courtroom in ages now and he couldn't think of anything to say aside from, “I choose the right to remain silent.”

“Apollo, I’m being serious here!”

“Well, so am I.”

“But-”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, okay?” Apollo replied sternly. “I’m here now, and that’s what matters. Besides, I have some questions of my own for you, Prosecutor Gavin.”

“…All right.” Klavier sighed heavily and returned to his chair by the bed. “Go ahead.”

“You were the one who found me at the cemetery, right? What were you doing there so late?”

“Saving everyone’s favorite missing defense attorney. What else?”

Klavier’s hand ran through his now undone hair as he dodged the question. Apollo supposed old habits died hard. Whatever; he was far too tired to press him on that right now and it wasn’t like he was being entirely honest either.

“Why do you keep saying I was missing?”

“Because you were missing, Herr Forehead! You’ve been reported missing for months now; people have been looking all over for you, both here and in Khura’in! It was as if you had disappeared off the face of the earth; no one had any idea where you had gone!”

“Sorry…” Apollo felt a little ashamed, but he supposed disappearing was what he had been going for. He just didn’t think so many people – let alone anyone – would have actually gone searching for him. “Wait, you knew I was in Khura’in?”

“Ja, I did. Fräulein Cykes was the one to tell me, months after the fact.” The bitterness in his voice was unmistakable and Apollo immediately felt guilty about it. Bitterness really didn’t suit someone so sweet.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It was kinda a spur of the moment thing.”

“Apparently, so was your return. Herr Wright told me that no one had seen heads or tails of you in months; in both countries!”

“Mr. Wright?”

“Ja, he’s worried sick about you! Everyone is! Fräulein Trucy was in tears when she called me asking if I had heard from you at all!”

Apollo didn’t say anything, feeling even guiltier than he had before. Trucy was strong; he had only seen her cry once and even then she had hidden it for as long as she could despite the overwhelmingly stressful circumstances. The thought of her crying over him of all people put a pit in his stomach.

“Ach, speaking of them, I really need to tell them you’ve been found.”

“You haven’t yet?”

“Nein. Apollo… you were freezing. Like I said, you weren’t waking up, no matter what I did. I was even told that had I waited a few minutes more you would have likely succumbed to hypothermia. I wanted to be certain that you were okay before raising or dashing their hopes, ja? I wasn’t going to call them and tell them you were all right if you might not be alive when they arrived.”

“Oh.” Apollo gulped. He knew that… ultimately, dying had sort of been his goal. But knowing how close he had been to death was sobering to say the least. Especially considering who had found him. Klavier had calmed down substantially but his eyes were still pretty red from a long night likely spent crying in worry. And the nervous tension never left the room as his bracelet kept a firm grip on his wrist. Now that he knew he hadn’t been hallucinating back then, Apollo could easily picture Klavier, finding him slumped over on a gravestone, becoming distraught with panic and worry as he tried fruitlessly to get some sort of reaction out of him. He hadn't meant to cause so much worry especially to someone who meant so much to him. Apollo scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I’m just happy you’re awake.” He pulled out his cell phone. “I’ll be right back, ja?”

“Wait, hold on!” Apollo reached forward, firmly grabbing ahold of Klavier’s wrist. “Don’t tell them yet.”

“Why not?”

“I just… I don’t want them to know I’m here yet, okay?” It didn’t matter how long he had been awake, Nahyuta’s accusing words were still ringing in the back of his mind. The fact he had been found didn’t change anything; what if he still managed to hurt them? “Look, I have some things I need to, uh, figure out. That’s why I didn’t tell anyone where I was.”

“What exactly are you trying to figure out?”

“It’s not something you should have to worry about.” Klavier didn’t look convinced. “…Please, Prosecutor Gavin. I really don’t want them to see me yet. I didn’t even mean for you to see me yet. Please.”

“I…” He sighed at the desperate look Apollo was sure he was giving him. “Fine. You're going to have to tell them sooner or later, and I still think they deserve to know, but I’ll wait for now. But only because you asked so nicely. And also on one condition.”

“What?”

“Call me Klavier. We’re still friends, aren’t we?”

“…Yeah.”

Despite his skeptical answer, Apollo’s bracelet showed no reaction. Either way, his reply seemed to satisfy Klavier enough, but he still hesitated before putting his cellphone away.

“Actually, I lied. I won’t tell them on two conditions.”

“What is it now?”

“You’re not allowed to leave the hospital until the doctor says you can, ja?”

“Fine.”

“I mean it, Herr Forehead. With what you did last time I don’t know if I trust that answer.”

“Oh yeah? Then what are you gonna do about it?”

“I’m not going to leave your side until you’re completely well.”

That wasn’t the answer he had expected, and he wasn’t sure if it was Klavier’s words or his relentless fever that caused his face to heat up.

“You can’t do that!”

“Oh? Why not?”

”Don’t you have work?”

“This is more important.”

“Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth won’t be happy.”

“Herr Edgeworth will be more than happy that he won’t have to hear my guitar playing in the office for awhile.”

“You’re just gonna stay here overnight?”

“I just did, didn’t I?”

“W-well…” Apollo was running out of excuses. “You’re going to have to eat or go to the bathroom at some point!”

Klavier looked like he was about to argue something else but genuinely seemed stumped as he realized Apollo had a point there. But it was short lived as he quickly snatched Apollo’s bracelet off his wrist and put it on himself.

“H-hey! Give that back!”

“You’re getting this back once you’re formally discharged.” He smirked. “Sound good, Herr Forehead?”

“That’s so immature.” Apollo groaned.

“Biting words coming from someone who broke out of a hospital twice.”

Despite his irritation, Apollo chuckled.

“Three times.”

“Hm?”

“I’ve broken out of a hospital three times now.”

“Are you serious? When was the third time?”

“Before we met. I was eleven, I think. I asked to go to the bathroom then I climbed through a window and ran away.”

“Why in the world would you do that?”

“Well…” Apollo wasn’t sure why he was telling Klavier all this, but not breathing a word to anyone for… wow, had it really almost a year? It was starting to get to him. “My grandpa just died and I didn’t want to go to an orphanage or something like that. So I ran.”

“…Oh.” Klavier looked deeply saddened by this information. “Where did you go?”

“Back home, where else?”

“And you were all alone?”

“For awhile, yeah. It was awful; I almost starved.” Apollo regretted saying that when he noticed the horrified expression on Klavier’s face. “It’s fine, Clay and his dad took me in soon enough. This isn’t the first time I’ve been through something like this.”

“Well hopefully it’s the last.” Klavier said, gently running his fingers over Apollo’s bony hand. “Speaking of, when was the last time you ate?”

“Um…” Apollo’s voice caught in his throat when for a moment, he saw twelve-year-old Clay sitting beside him, asking him the very same question with the same fearful look in his eyes. He shook his head. “Honestly, I don’t remember.”

“...Right. I’m going to call a nurse for you then.” Klavier stood up and took off his coat, then draped it over Apollo’s shoulders. “Hang tight, ja?”

“…Okay.” Apollo pulled the coat tighter around himself, reveling in how warm it felt. “Hey, Prose - er, Klavier?”

“Ja?”

“Your hair.” Apollo muttered. “I’ve never seen it down before. It looks really nice.”

Klavier just smiled; and for a moment Apollo’s heart skipped a beat as he gazed at that beautiful expression he had fallen in love with nearly five years ago now.

“I’ll be right back, Apollo.”

True to his word, Klavier never left his side. Apollo spent much of his time in the hospital resting, and every single time he woke up, Klavier was still there, playing with his undone hair or looking at something on his phone or gazing out the window or reading a book or changing the water in the vase of roses he had gotten for him at some point while he was asleep. He had gotten red roses again, though not as many as there had been when he had survived the explosion or in Trucy’s dressing room during her big debut. Apollo remembered calling him pretentious back then when Athena pointed them out, but she had seen right through him and told him he got all prickly when the subject of Klavier came up. He supposed that was sort of true. He had been trying to push Klavier away from him, still feeling so guilty about drunkenly kissing him when he clearly had no interest. He still felt bad about it, honestly. He had done something to upset him; and honestly Klavier should hate him.

But for some reason, Klavier didn’t seem to hate him. Maybe it was because he was exhausted and didn’t have his bracelet on, but Apollo couldn’t sense any disdain from him whatsoever. In fact, he seemed incredibly enthusiastic to spend time with him. He talked to him seemingly from the moment he got up to the moment he fell asleep again and didn’t even mind when Apollo dozed off every once in awhile mid-conversation. Apollo couldn’t wrap his head around it. Honestly, the two of them hadn’t talked in years yet here he was, acting like the past five years had never happened at all and they were thick as thieves and spending all their time together like they had been near the end of 2025. Why? Was Klavier really that forgiving? Or maybe it really hadn’t been as big of a deal for him in the long run? It wouldn’t be the first time Apollo had dwelled on something that someone else hadn’t cared all that much about. He spent years feeling guilt over what Nahyuta had said to him as a kid, when all he had to say for it himself was that it was immature.

Not that it mattered; all the things he said that day had been true, anyways. And his subconscious didn’t hesitate to remind him of that as he found himself startled awake by the same nightmare again a couple days later. He could hear Nahyuta screaming at him as his eyes shot open and he sat up with a start. It took him a moment to calm down enough to realize that he was not burning from the aftermath of an explosion or freezing after plummeting down a river. It wasn’t real. At least… this time it wasn’t.

“Apollo?” Klavier asked, putting down the book he was reading. “Are you all right?”

Apollo didn’t respond, trying to even out his breathing. Right. He was in the present. He was warm and safe in a hospital bed and Klavier was beside him still, just like he had promised. He needed to get better about remembering that. Klavier placed his hand on Apollo’s, looking worried.

“S-sorry, Klavier,” Apollo finally stammered, “I’m fine. It was just a bad dream.”

“Well… would you like to tell me about it?”

“Are you serious?”

“Ja, I am. Telling my mama always helped when I was a kid, and-”

“Yeah, but I’m not a kid.” Apollo interrupted. He couldn’t think of anything he’d like to do less than share his little sob story of a fever dream with Klavier. “So don’t worry about it. I don’t even remember what happened anyways, so-”

Klavier retracted his hand away, as if he had touched a hot stove.

“Ach, what is that?!”

“Uh… what?”

“That.” He sighed, and stroked the bracelet on his wrist. “Sorry to change the subject, Herr Forehead. I must be imagining things but I swear it feels like-”

“Let me guess: it feels like the bracelet’s squeezing you, right?”

“…Ja, actually, it does.”

Klavier’s confusion gave Apollo an idea. He put his hand on the bracelet as well and smirked.

“Do you wanna see something cool?” Klavier just nodded and Apollo looked him dead in the eye and cleared his throat. “I’m taller than Prosecutor Blackquill.”

The bracelet tightened on his wrist once again and Klavier drew his hand back with a startled gasp.

“What… Herr Forehead, what-”

“I didn’t have my first soda until I was eight.”

Apollo could see the bracelet loosening on Klavier’s wrist. Klavier stared at it in awe, then back at Apollo, seemingly demanding an explanation.

“Herr Forehead, are you secretly a Gramayre?”

“No, no, I’m nothing like that.” Apollo replied. “I don’t think, at least. Anyways, my mom gave me that bracelet as a baby. It can sense tension, I guess? It does that whenever people lie, or get nervous about something. I’m really perceptive on my own but this helps indicate that I should be looking for something, like a nervous tick.”

“So that’s how you’re able to notice such small details, like the way I touch my hair?”

“Yeah. Though no offense, but you’re pretty obvious about it. You look away, too.”

“I guess. Still… this is very fascinating. How does it work?”

“Wish I knew. Maybe it really is magic.”

“How come you never asked your mother?”

“Because I don’t know her.” Apollo replied curtly. “Abandoned, remember?”

“…Ach, Herr Forehead, I’m really sorry. It must have slipped my-”

“I have my driver’s license.”

The bracelet tightened and once again it caught Klavier by surprise, effectively silencing him. Good. Apollo didn’t want to talk about his family or lack thereof right now.

“Will you stop doing that?” He seemed to be growing agitated.

“My best subject in school was math.”

“Apollo!”

Apollo grinned at him.

“My favorite color is green.”

Klavier glared at him and Apollo began to laugh. He hadn’t seen Klavier this agitated since the time Daryan messed up a cue, and frankly it was kind of funny.

“Two of us can play at that game, you know.” Klavier grabbed Apollo’s hand, and slid the bracelet up so it was wrapped around both of their hands. “I had my first drink before I turned twenty-one.”

As expected, the bracelet tightened.

“Clay would’ve called you a loser if he knew that.” Apollo laughed. “He hated your music, by the way. He called it trash.”

It tightened again.

“Oh yeah? Well, I don’t enjoy Fraülein Trucy’s magic shows at all. They’re boring and predictable.”

“Speaking of Trucy, I didn’t mind being her magical assistant. It never scared me once!”

“Horror films don’t scare me in the slightest. I’ve never screamed in a theatre.“

“Well, I know how to swim. I’m not scared of rivers at all.”

“I absolutely hate going to the beach, the ocean’s so boring to me!”

“I’m really good at those boardwalk games, I win prizes all the time!”

“I’m fantastic at ice skating! I never fall and did you know I can do a triple axel?”

“I loved how cold it was in Khura’in! I love that it snows there until May!”

“And I never missed you while you were there!” Klavier blurted out suddenly. Apollo stopped laughing when he finally processed what Klavier had said and noticed just how tightly the bracelet was squeezing him. He kept going. “I didn’t miss you and I didn’t think about you. Not once. I didn’t worry about you a single time or miss your presence in court and I never accidentally showed up to the Agency thinking you were still there and I was never disappointed when I was reminded that you weren’t and I was so happy that you were gone!”

Apollo just stared at him for a moment, the bracelet holding their hands together in vice grip. Klavier immediately looked guilty from his sudden outburst and looked away nervously.

“I’m sorry, that was uncalled for-”

“I didn’t miss you either.” Apollo interrupted. “I never thought about you when I was in Khura’in, or before that. I didn’t miss you a single time, or worry about you, or wonder how you were doing. All of the prosecutors in Khura’in were so nice and fair, unlike you, and I never once wished I was facing off against you instead. When I saw a shooting star, I never wished that you would live a happy life or anything like that!” He felt his cheeks heating up but when he stared back at Klavier, he looked… relieved, a beautiful smile crossing his face. Apollo smiled back at him, only now realizing the weight of what both of them had said. Klavier… he really didn’t hate him, did he?

“Apollo, this hurts a little.” Klavier finally said.

“Yeah, you’re right.” He laughed, the bracelet was squeezing their hands together so hard that he could already see the red indents on his skin. “One of us should probably say something honest so it stops.”

“Well…” Klavier reached out with his free hand and gently stroked Apollo’s cheek. “You have a beautiful laugh. And it’s so nice to see your smile again.”

The bracelet finally began to ease up, but their hands lingered together for a few moments longer.  

Apollo was released from the hospital a couple days later. He felt immensely better; his fever had finally subsided and his chest didn’t hurt as badly and he was let go with some antibiotics and a warning to not mess with his right arm too much as well as to drink plenty of water, eat well and get lots of rest.

“A deal’s a deal.” Klavier said once Apollo climbed into his car. He grabbed Apollo’s left hand and slid the bracelet back onto his wrist.

“Thanks, Klavier.” Apollo replied, running his fingers over the intricate pattern on the bracelet. It didn’t matter if it had only been a few days; he felt uneasy without it on.

“Nein; thank you for not running off again.”

“You’re not gonna let me live that down, are you?”

“It’s not something most people would do. Especially not twice.”

“Three times.”

“Right.” He started up the car. “So… where am I taking you?”

Oh. Right. Shit, he hadn’t thought this far in advance. During his hospitalization Klavier had chatted with him about anything and everything but after that first day he didn’t try to force Apollo to tell him about what had happened to him. It seemed he had accepted that was not something he wanted to talk about quite yet and had just focused on cheering him up as he got healthy again. How in the world was he supposed to tell him that he had spent the past year living in an abandoned house with the intent of dying there?

“Um…” Apollo hesitated, scratching the back of his neck.

“Herr forehead. Were you by chance homeless?”

“…Kind of.” Apollo replied, thankful that Klavier wasn’t wearing the bracelet anymore.

“All right. Looks like I finally found a reason to use my guest room, then.”

“What? No. I’ve troubled you enough already.”

“Nothing you could ever do would be troublesome for me.”

“But…”

“I insist. If you have any other suggestions, I’m all ears; but I’m not leaving you out in the cold again.”

Apollo couldn’t think of anything, so off he was taken to Klavier’s fancy apartment. The first thing Apollo noticed when Klavier opened the door was Mikeko running towards him. Apollo immediately dropped to his knees as his old cat hopped into his lap and licked his face affectionately.

“Mikeko!” Apollo exclaimed, petting him gently. “Aaawww, I missed you!”

“He missed you quite a bit too.” Klavier replied, kneeling down with him. “He wakes me up at four am nearly everyday and meows sadly until the sun rises.”

“Yeah that makes sense. Clay told me he did that whenever I stayed out too late.” Mikeko curled up on his lap and purred happily. “Why do you even have him?”

“Well… you left for Khura’in rather suddenly. And with how busy you were once you got there, taking care of everything you left behind was rather difficult. At least that’s what Herr Wright told me. He couldn’t take him because Herr Edgeworth’s dog wouldn’t get along with him and Fraülein Cykes said her girlfriend’s allergic, so apparently I was the next best option.”

“Well I’m glad he found someone reliable to take care of him.” Apollo said, scratching Mikeko under the chin. “I probably should’ve thought that whole Khura’in thing through a bit more. The first two weeks I was there I had to mooch off of Nahyuta for a change of clothes. And he’s taller than you are! Honestly, even after Mr. Wright sent my things over I never really got settled in.”

“Well, at least you’re home now, ja?” Klavier stood up and took what few belongings Apollo had with him to the guest room, leaving him alone with his cat and his thoughts. 

Home...

Apollo got up, cradling Mikeko in his arms. He supposed this was home, at least for now. He never thought he’d be back in Klavier’s life, let alone his home, but here he was anyways.

Klavier’s apartment hadn’t changed all that much since the last time he was here close to five years ago. His T.V. was a bit bigger, and Apollo noticed there was a stack of DVDs piled next to it. As expected, most of which were sappy looking romantic comedies. He had a different couch, too. If anything, the biggest difference Apollo noticed was how messy everything had become. He remembered a few years ago Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth had claimed that the prosecutor’s office was overworked seeing how he weeded out any corrupt prosecutors. Perhaps Klavier brought his work home with him? That was the only reason he could think of for the massive stack of binders, case files and documents that covered a vast majority of his dining table.

Klavier let him stay in the guest room. Based on how dusty everything was in there Apollo could assume that Klavier hadn’t had any guests stay over in... ever, probably. Not that Apollo minded in the slightest. He didn’t feel out of place here like he had back at the palace in Khura’in. In fact, living here felt a little like living with Clay did, all those years ago. Sure, the place was quite a bit bigger than his old apartment but it was cozy enough here and he had forgotten how nice it was to fall asleep with his cat curled up against his side and to have someone to say goodnight and good morning to.

Apollo spent a lot of his time here resting as well, mostly upon Klavier’s insistence. Not that he ever argued with him. He was still a little sick and weak and it wasn’t like he had anything better to do aside from just… taking up space here.

He quickly started to feel much better… physically, at least. Soon enough his chest didn’t hurt anymore but he couldn’t seem to get rid of the wretched pit of guilt in his stomach. He felt utterly pampered here, and it was making him self-conscious. Why should he get to stay in such a nice place like this when he had done nothing to deserve it? He was doing absolutely nothing for Klavier aside from take up his space, yet he was being so unbelievably kind to him. Apollo started helping out in any way he could. Once he started feeling well again he found the clutter of Klavier’s apartment to be obnoxious and cleaned the place until it was near spotless. He supposed his old habit of cleaning up after others never truly left him.

But it still didn’t feel like he was doing enough for Klavier in return. And with each passing day his guilt and paranoia only grew more and more. Things were just so... normal here. He couldn't remember how long it had been since he had shared a meal with another person or spent a lazy afternoon watching T.V. with someone. It was all so normal, so warm, so comforting… How long would this last? How long before he screwed this one up, too? He had already hurt Klavier once in the past; how much longer before he did it again? And what if he did something even worse to him this time?

It didn’t help that he started having nightmares about it. That fever dream he had when he had woken up in the hospital kept coming back. Sometimes it was different; sometimes he’d watch Klavier die. Or Mr. Wright, or Athena, or even Trucy and it never failed to violently wake him. He was thankful that Klavier’s apartment was soundproof or surely he’d hear his screams when he awoke. Whenever Apollo had that dream he’d dwell on it for a moment, his head pounding and his body covered in a cold sweat as he heard those accusing words of Nahyuta’s in the back of his mind. He thought about all the misfortune he had brought upon his friends, upon the people closest to him like Clay and Nahyuta, and he couldn’t help but wonder how long it would take for Klavier to fall victim to his misfortune, too. That was why he had run away in the first place! So what was he still doing here?

Apollo considered running away on multiple occasions, figuring it’d be best to leave before his presence inevitably caused something horrible to happen again. But he was never able to go through with it. Whenever Klavier left for work in the morning he never said goodbye; he always said I’ll see you soon. An intrusive thought reminded him that that was the last thing Clay had ever said to him, and he found he couldn’t just up and leave after agreeing to that statement. He knew just how awful it felt to have someone leave for good when there had been a promised reunion.

He attempted leaving at night, but was never able to find the opportunity. Klavier stayed up late. Really late. Late enough that it would have even impressed Clay. He tried at one am, at three... and every single time when he cracked his door open he would hear the muffled audio of the T.V. or the gentle plucking of a guitar. At first Apollo thought Klavier was staying up just to make sure he didn’t leave, but he quickly found that wasn’t the case. Whenever he noticed Apollo up at those hours he’d invite him to join him on the couch for whatever show he was watching, or he’d ask if his guitar playing had awoken him and he never once noticed any tension from his words. Apollo was beginning to wonder if Klavier got any sleep at all, and while it was concerning it really wasn’t his place to ask seeing how he was up this late too.

On New Year’s Eve, Apollo’s guilt finally overwhelmed him.

He had forgotten about the holidays entirely. It didn’t matter that he was living with Klavier now; the days still seemed to blur together as nothing meaningful ever seemed to happen. So when he woke up that morning he expected it to be just another normal, meaningless day.

“Frohes neues Jahr!” Klavier exclaimed when Apollo finally strolled into the living room. He handed him a mug of hot chocolate and motioned for him to join him on the couch.

“Uh…” Apollo mumbled, still groggy from an unsatisfying amount of sleep. “Is today a holiday or something?

“It’s New Year’s Eve, Apollo.”

“Oh, okay.” He paused. “Wait, already?!”

“Ja.”

“But… that means the holidays already passed!”

“So?”

“So, you didn’t do anything for them! Aren’t you supposed to… I dunno, go visit family or something?”

“Ja, probably. But it turns out that helping put your own brother in prison and ensuring he doesn’t get acquitted puts a strain on the whole family gathering thing. If I’m being honest, it’s been awhile since I last did anything special.”

“Oh. Um… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It was the right thing to do. Besides, I was happy to spend time with you this time around, anyways.”

“I guess…” Apollo trailed off, taking a sip of his hot chocolate. He turned his attention away for a moment and noticed a small stack of presents right beside the large window. “What are the presents for, though? Are you having people over or something?”

“Nein. I’m afraid it’s a little late, but those are for you, Herr Forehead.”

“Wh-what?!” He nearly spilled his mug on the floor. “I… I can’t accept all that!!”

“Why not?”

“I didn’t get you anything!”

“I’ll live.”

“But… this is all too much, I mean…”

“Don’t worry so much.” Klavier replied, patting his back gently. “When I brought you back here, the only things you had were the clothes on your back. I just want to help you get back on your feet, ja?”

“O-okay.”

There were lots of fun gifts. He gave him a bottle of hair spray because even Apollo himself couldn't remember how long it had been since he had his usual hairstyle; there was a bag of chocolate-covered peppermints, a new phone and a collection of all of Lamiroir ’s albums.

“I know you hate my music,” Klavier said, “but if I recall correctly, you really admired hers.”

“I never said I hated yours.” Apollo replied. “It’s just a little loud. You have a really petty voice when you’re not screaming.“

“I could say the same to you.”

A great deal of the gifts contained clothes, seeing how he had been borrowing Klavier's for the past couple of weeks. A heavy winter pea coat, a matching set of gloves and a scarf, some casual clothes… he even got Apollo a brand new three-piece suit, though the tie actually matched this time and it was more maroon in color than the ketchup-red he used to wear.

“In case you ever return to the courtroom, ja?”

“Yeah…” Apollo muttered, running his hand along the crisp material. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had worn his old vest. It was probably still back in his office in Khura’in, collecting dust.

“When was the last time you were in court, anyways?”

Now that he thought about it, he had been wearing that vest the day Nahyuta had died. He had worn it for the next couple of days too, when he had been incarcerated and put on trial for the crime.

“Herr Forehead?”

He took it off eventually when he had finally been released and sent back home. It had become pretty banged up from the whole ordeal. He noticed there were a couple holes in it back then. A rock must have scraped against it at some point. Not that he had initially noticed in the franticness of it all.

“Apollo?”

But Apollo couldn’t hear Klavier as he kept staring at the vest and suddenly he wasn’t in Klavier’s apartment anymore but his old room back in the palace in Khura’in and he was cold and soggy and his body ached all over and he was covered in scratches and dirt and the vest in his lap was just as torn up and worn out as he was and the waterlogged photograph of Nahyuta and Dhurke lay on the floor beneath him, ruined, and all he could possibly think about was the fact that he was selfishly allowed to live when Nahyuta, intelligent prosecutor, faithful prince, beloved older brother to Rayfa and beacon of hope to all of Khura’in had died in his place. Why had he been allowed to live when so many far more deserving people had not? He didn’t deserve to be here right now. It should be Nahyuta sitting here, mourning in silence over his lost foster brother whom he’d soon move on from and let go. He was good at that. Apollo wasn’t. He dwelled and lamented and never changed or moved on and continued to exist and let bad things happen to those he cared most about. It was what always happened!

He was bad luck.

Apollo.

Nothing good ever happened when he was around.

Apollo.

No one wanted him; not even his parents.

“Schatzi?”

The pet name as well as Klavier’s hand on his shoulder brought him back to the present.

Right.

He was in Klavier’s living room and it was New Year’s Eve and it was warm and cozy and he had a half-full mug of hot chocolate next to him and there was a stack of presents just for him and the brand new maroon vest was draped over his lap and for some reason he was crying over it. He blinked once and looked over at Klavier, his heart sinking as he recognized that frightened, worried expression on his pretty face he had seen far too many times before.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” Klavier asked gently. “Does something hurt?”

“Why are you doing all of this for me?” Apollo asked desperately, not even trying to stop the tears now. “Klavier, I don’t deserve any of this. I haven’t done a single thing for you! All I ever do is hurt anyone who dares to get close to me and you of all people should know this! So… so why…? What could I have possibly done to deserve any of this?!”

“Shh…” Klavier whispered. He wrapped his arms around Apollo and pulled him closer. For a moment Klavier just held him like that, letting him cry onto his shoulder. It made Apollo feel all the more guilty. Why was Klavier taking the time to console him like this? How could he have possibly earned his sympathy?

“Why are you comforting me?”

“That’s what you do when someone is crying, ja?”

“Yeah, but…”

“Shh.” Klavier interrupted, pulling away. “Apollo, I don’t know what you’re talking about. You would never hurt me, or anyone. I know that for a fact.”

“B-but… but I already did! Remember, the January like five years ago, when I forced you to kiss me and-”

“Force? You didn’t force anything. I was more than happy to kiss you, Herr Forehead.”

“…What? But you looked so scared! I was so sure I had upset you!”

“You didn’t. I just…” He sighed. “Herr Forehead, when you first met me I was in a very bad place.”

“You were?”

“Ja. Did you ever find it strange that I was absent from the courtroom for nearly seven years until the Kitaki case? Didn’t you ever wonder what pushed me to come back?”

“You wanted to find out what really happened in the Gramarye case, right?”

“True, I wanted that for seven long years. But there was something in particular that drove me to come back.”

Klavier took both of Apollo’s hands in his own.

“You, Apollo! You were the reason I came back! I spent seven years running… hiding behind my band. I knew Kristoph had done something, but I was too scared of what else he might do if I questioned him! I couldn’t stop him; I was too weak! But then you showed up and you found him guilty and I had to come back and see the one who had finally stood up to my brother with my own two eyes and… I found you. You never ceased to take my breath away. It was thrilling to watch you find your way out of seemingly hopeless situations and as you sought out the truth no matter what it took, you never gave up no matter what! You were able to prove that Kristoph had nearly killed four people, and ended a case that had gone cold for seven long years. Not only that, but you were still so kind to me. When Daryan was harassing me, when Kristoph was berating me… we were supposed to be rivals, but you stood up for me each and every time! I love you, Apollo. I’ve loved you since I first laid eyes on you and... every moment after.”

Apollo just stared at him for a moment. If it weren’t for Klavier’s hands in his, he would have assumed that he was dreaming. I love you… He kept hearing it again and again in his mind. After Clay’s death, those were words he had figured he would never hear again; from… anyone, really. Not from any family or friends and especially not from someone like Klavier. He didn’t have any real family, he didn’t let himself stay around friends very long and of course it would be foolish to think that anyone could actually love him. Yet Klavier looked dead serious as he stared at him and his bracelet hung loose around his wrist.

“Y-you don’t mean that.”

“Ja, I do.”

“All this time you… really?”

“Of course. You saved my life, Apollo. How could I not fall for someone like that?”

“Okay, saying I saved your life is a little extreme, don’t you think?”

“Nein. ...I wouldn’t call it extreme at all.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I just said… did nothing strike you as odd?”

“Well…” Now that he mentioned it, there was something out of place. “Yeah. You said that Kristoph had nearly killed four people.”

“Correct. Just what I expected from the brightest member of the Wright Anything Agency.”

“Whatever.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyways… Shadi Enigmar, Drew and Vera Misham… who’s the last person?”

“Well… you’re looking at him.”

“Wait, what?” Apollo gasped. “Kristoph… tried to kill you?”

“Ja.”

“Wait… when? How?” Apollo could feel rage boiling up inside him. “What the hell did he do to you?!”

“Relax, Apollo. I’m perfectly safe now, ja? Besides, this happened before we even met.”

“What happened?”

“It was shortly after the Gramarye Case. Kristoph surprised me with a cake he bought for me. Congratulates me on winning my first case, ja? I was glad he was there, actually. That case made me feel a bit uneasy. But he told me he was just here to drop off the gift and go. Busy as always, you know. Kristoph wasn’t one to give gifts like that but I didn’t question it. I thought maybe I was special because I was his brother and after a messy trial like that I figured I deserved a treat.” Klavier paused, running a shaky hand through his hair at the memory. “Fifteen minutes later, I don’t feel so good. I can’t stop shaking, my back hurts, my throat’s on fire and I collapse. Sound familiar?”

“Atroquinine.” Apollo answered, growing pale. “Holy shit, you survived atroquinine poisoning?”

“Indeed.”

“But… how? I thought Vera was the only known survivor!”

“Exactly. Only known survivor. Back then, atroquinine wasn’t actively known as a weapon yet. If people barely knew of its existence how would they be able to identify it in a person who had survived? When I woke up a few days later I was in the hospital. Kristoph said he had found me. He told me I had gotten really bad food poisoning and should be more careful about which seedy bars I go to with my band. I was so weak and delirious and I couldn’t remember what had happened so I just accepted what he said and went home. Everything was fine, I thought, but then a couple months later I was going through some of the case files at work and found something interesting: unrelated to Kristoph, but there was a murder that happened to be committed via atroquinine. I read the symptoms and realized someone tried to kill me. But… I didn’t have proof. I told Kirstoph about it because I figured if anyone could help me it’d be him. But he told me that I was just being paranoid and delusional. And that’s when I remembered that night, when Kristoph had visited me. And how Kristoph was the one that found me and apparently saved me. Convenient way to clean up the crime scene and make himself look like a saint, ja? It was a win-win situation; whether I lived or died, people would sympathize with him.”

His hand started shaking, so Apollo grabbed it.

“It had to be him. I knew it had to be him. That entire Gramarye Case put a sour taste in my mouth because as much as I figured Kristoph was right I still didn’t know how he could have possibly known about the forgery. Unless… he had something to do with it. Why else would he want to kill me? He needed to silence me; I was the only one aside from the Mishams who knew he was connected to that case in any way! But… what in the world was I supposed to do? There was no way anyone would believe me. I nearly died and Kristoph was the one who saved me. Any evidence was gone and Herr Wright had already been disbarred because of what I had done and all I had was my word. As Kristoph liked to say: evidence is everything in court, and I had nothing! So… I ran. I became too paranoid to stay around any longer; if Kristoph tried to kill me once, why wouldn’t he try to do it again? I made the band a full time gig and didn’t look back. If I’m always on tour he can’t do anything to me, right?”

“Klavier…” No wonder Klavier was such a closed off person. To this day, Apollo could still see Vera, sheet-white and unmoving as she collapsed to the ground from the poisoning. It had been horrifying. He had honestly thought she was dead and now he couldn’t help but imagine Klavier like that too. He imagined Klavier – only seventeen and a little bit cocky but overall naïve and with so much ahead of him – sickly and unconscious as he balanced on a very thin line between life and death. He imagined Kristoph standing over him, getting rid of the evidence and smirking; calling for help and knowing that whether his own damn brother lives or dies, he will never be seen as the villain. The thought made him sick, and he realized now that this must have been what Klavier was so afraid of, this is why he had needed reassurance that Kristoph wouldn't be able to get away with it when he was called to the stand, this is why he had threatened to run away again should the truth never come to light. Kristoph had proved how relentless he was, how he could use simple objects could be used to bring one to a hellish end. Klavier had been through that hell himself so no wonder he worried that it might happen again. “So when you said I had ‘saved your life…’”

“Ja, I wasn’t just being dramatic. Apollo, you really saved me. If Kristoph was never arrested, then I might not be here today.”

“Still, I’m so sorry… that must have been horrible.”

“Normally I’d argue with you but… ja, it was horrible. The pain was so excruciating that it inspired me to write a song about it. Funny, no one ever seemed to question why I have a single song with atroquinine in the title. Now you know.”

“That’s terrible… are you sure you’re all right?”

“I’m still here, aren’t I?”

Apollo could still sense the nervousness behind his tone. Even if he had recovered, that wasn't something you could just walk away from. 

“Klavier… I’m really glad you’re alive.”

“I could say the same for you, Apollo. But do you believe me now? You’ve never hurt me. Not even once. I just… had a very hard time trusting people. I’m sorry for being so distant for so long.”

“No, it’s fine.” Apollo replied, the weight of five years worth of guilt feeling just the slightest bit lighter. “I mean, I was the one who avoided you like the plague for the next… what, almost five years? I even pretended I was asleep when you visited me in the hospital!”

“You did? Why?”

“I felt ashamed. I thought you had no interest in me and with how freaked out you looked I just felt terrible. I was so certain I had hurt you and I was too ashamed to talk to you again.”

“I’m sorry, I should have-”

“No, don’t apologize. I’m the one who overreacted and ran away.”

“Is that why you ran off to Khura’in?”

“Well, I really did want to help Nahyuta save the legal system over there. But yeah, that’s part of the reason. I didn’t want to hurt anyone else like I did with you or with Clay.” He sighed. “…It didn’t work.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re gonna think it’s silly, but… I think I’m cursed. That’s why I disappeared, I guess. I didn’t want to see Athena or Mr. Wright or Trucy or anyone else again and run the risk of getting them killed.”

“Killed? What in the world are you talking about?”

Apollo said nothing and rubbed the back of his neck anxiously.

“Apollo, please.” Klavier reached out to him once more, gently squeezing Apollo’s hands. “What happened to you?”

Apollo didn’t want to say anything. If he told Klavier what had happened to him, all it would do is make him look even more pathetic. But Klavier’s worried expression… his soft hands on Apollo’s bony ones… he reminded him of Clay, staring at him desperately from his plastic chair in the middle school infirmary what felt like centuries ago. Apollo gulped and found that he could not bring himself to look away. It had been easy to open up to Clay back then. They were both so young, so naïve, they knew very little of how cruel the world could be and Apollo didn’t know yet just how detrimental his existence was on those he held dear.

And yet…

When he looked back at Klavier the urge to spill his soul to him was overwhelming. Klavier, sweet Klavier – this man was the kindest prosecutor he had ever worked with, he had invited him to his concert after one case together and wanted to be friends from the get go and he… he had loved him the whole time. No, he loves him, he still did, he had just said it himself and now all the constant invitations for dinner and the oversized vase of roses and the note begging him to take care of yourself, shatzi, please, despite their falling out all made sense now. Hell, Klavier had saved his life and stayed by his side every day as he recovered. At the very least, he owed him an explanation.

“Klavier… I’m sorry, I’ll tell you.”

Where to begin? He told Klaiver about Jove, his biological father who died protecting him, his missing mother who still had yet to be found… Then there was Dhurke and Nahyuta, living in fearful hiding and that fateful day they had fallen in the river and Dhurke had saved them but Nahyuta, rightfully upset, had told him those angry words that he could never bring himself to forget. Then he was left in America and Dhurke had absolutely no intention of looking back until he had literally died and Apollo had a relatively normal childhood with Grandpa for a solid three years until he had died and Apollo hadn’t been quick enough to save him and then there was Clay, sweet, wonderful Clay, who had taken him in when he could not have possibly been lower, who stayed by his side during the aftermath of his first case and had held him tight when he thought he had fucked it all up with Klavier and had kissed him softly beneath the moonlight and had been part of his life longer than Dhurke or Nahyuta or anyone in his goddamn life only to be taken away so cruelly when things could not possibly be going better for him. Then, feeling like he had nothing left, Dhurke came back out of the blue, but was already long dead and too late for Apollo to save him and he had tried to save Khura’in’s legal system and he had, for awhile, but only due to Nahyuta’s tenacity and intelligence and just when things finally seemed to be looking up… that earthquake happened and Nahyuta had perished… all for him. And that had been the last straw. 

“When I came back… I’ll be honest, I don’t really know what I was doing.” Apollo said. “I kinda wanted to… disappear, I guess. The people of Khura’in didn’t want me around anymore. No one wanted me taking any cases anymore, and everyone said I was cursed. I was gonna go back to the Wright Anything Agency, but… I got scared. What if what happened to Nahyuta happened to Trucy? Or Mr. Wright or Athena? I could never forgive myself if I did something to hurt any of them. So... I ran.” He couldn’t bring himself to meet Klavier’s gaze. “I’m sorry, Klavier. You must think I’m pathetic.”

“Apollo.” Klavier gently stroked Apollo’s cheek, then tilted his chin upwards.

Like Clay had done, an intrusive thought told him.

But he couldn’t focus on that for long because when his eyes finally met Klavier’s he realized that he was tearing up.

“Oh, schatzi.” Klavier said, and embraced him. He held him close and Apollo froze, honestly not expecting a reaction so… kind. “I’m so sorry. Life has been cruel to you.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Yes it is!”

Apollo remembered Clay having the exact same tearful reaction when he had fessed up to him back in middle school. They really were similar, weren’t they? His embrace was like Clay’s, too. Gentle but reassuring, he felt enveloped in its warmth and he was willing to drown in it. Honestly, he missed Klavier. He wouldn’t let himself admit it for years because he felt too ashamed, but it was true. He missed him, he missed those coffee dates, the late nights spent talking with one another, he missed how close they had been and he hated himself for giving it up so easily.

He missed Clay, too. He missed him all the time though and ever since his death he tried to mention him and think about him as little as he possibly could but now that he had just brought him up to Klavier he couldn’t ignore it any longer and he missed him, he missed him so, so much and it didn’t matter that it had been four years already it didn’t hurt any less and he still hated himself for not saying he loved him too or even saying goodbye. He missed Nahyuta, the brother he thought he’d never see again, who took him in as if he were his real family with no qualms, who felt like home after it had been so cruelly ripped away from him with Clay. He missed Dhurke, too. And Grandpa, and Mr. Wright, and Athena and Trucy and god, explaining all of this to Klavier made him keenly aware of just how much he had left behind and lost and maybe, just maybe, he could acknowledge that life had indeed been a little cruel to him.

Apollo wrapped his arms around Klavier and sobbed into his soft purple sweater, letting the weight of everything that had been stacked upon his shoulders finally break him down with each heavy sob. Klavier said nothing and let him cry away, rubbing gentle circles into his trembling back. He missed it. He hadn't realized just how much he had missed companionship, having someone to talk to, someone to hold... and now that he had someone in his arms, Apollo treasured it and didn't want to let go. 

“Schatzi, what happened to you was awful.” Klavier whispered. “But you’re not cursed. You’re not bad luck or unlovable or anything like that. You’re just a victim of far too many tragedies.”

“What makes you so sure?” Apollo sniffled.

“Bad things happen to everyone. Just… some people more than others.” Klavier recited. “You told me that yourself, remember?”

“Yeah, but… I told you that because you honestly thought you started the dark age of the law. I’ve actually hurt people!”

“When, exactly? You’ve lost more than I can possibly imagine and not a single one of those was your fault!”

“I mean-”

“Stop it. Do you need proof? Because the proof is all around you. How many defendants would be wrongly imprisoned if not for you? Every single member at the Wright Anything Agency would be in jail if it weren’t for your involvement! Herr Terran’s killer would have gotten away, Herr Blackquill would have been executed, the entire kingdom of Khura’in would still be a dictatorship and…” He pulled away, cupping Apollo’s tear-stained face in his hands. “Me, Apollo! You saved me! If you hadn’t put Kristoph away, I would have never come back. Nothing would have ever changed. But you put him away and brought all his crimes to light and… you saved my life, Apollo!”

Apollo gazed up at him in awe. He really… hadn’t thought about it like that. Up until this moment he had spent the last five years believing he had hurt Klavier, and that he was on the long, long list of people he had wronged. Yet here he was, claiming that he had saved him. Honestly, he had just been doing his job back then; putting Kristoph away was the truth and he had simply sought it out. He never could have possibly imagined that doing so would save the man he would grow to love so dearly.

“You’ve saved me in more ways than I can count. And I could never thank you enough for it.” Klavier leaned forward and pressed a kiss against Apollo’s forehead. “I love you, Apollo Justice. And if you ever think again that all you ever do is hurt those who love you… remember that I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

Apollo could feel more tears welling up in his eyes. But from relief, not despair. If Klavier was here… if Klavier still cared for him and wanted him and loved him despite everything that had happened in the past five years then maybe… Maybe this once, he could acknowledge that he had actually done right for once and that his presence had actually helped somebody.

Overwhelmed, he pulled Klavier into a kiss. And unlike last time, Klavier didn’t freeze up or stop but kissed him lovingly back, gently cupping his cheek in his hand to keep him close. Apollo loved every second of it.

By the time he had finished crying and they had pulled away from the embrace, Apollo’s mug of hot chocolate had long since become lukewarm and he realized, to his embarrassment, that a great deal of his tears had fallen from his face onto the vest in his lap. He laughed.

“What is it?” Klavier asked gently.

“The vest,” Apollo replied, his voice weak from sobbing, “I haven’t even worn it yet and I already got it dirty.”

“It’s not that bad,” Klavier said, picking up the vest and placing it to the side, “I’ll pay for the dry cleaning if it is.”

“I can do that. I mean… I owe you, don’t I?”

“If you’re so determined to pay me back, can you promise me something else?”

“Sure?”

“Please.” Klavier squeezed Apollo’s shoulder. “Please don’t ever try to disappear again, all right? People care about you, Apollo. And I know I’m not the only one.”

“I won’t. I... I promise.”

His bracelet remained loose around his wrist for both of those statements, and Klavier kissed him again.

The rest of the holiday was spent relatively cheerfully. Once night fell, Klavier took him out to go watch one of the many fireworks displays that would be set off at midnight. Apollo argued it was too cold to go out but Klavier reminded him that he had just got him a new coat and no offense, Herr Forehead, but you need to get out more often, ja? So they went and Klavier made sure to choose a park that was pretty far from the Wright Anything Agency; Apollo didn’t even need to ask him.

“They invited me to their New Year’s party again this year, you know?” Klavier said abruptly.

“Really?”

“Well, not Herr Wright. Even after the Gramarye case was settled I still don’t think he likes me that much and I can't blame him. But Fräulein Trucy invites me every year.”

“She really liked you. I remember she was hoping she could do a magic trick in one of your shows like Lamiroir did. But then you broke up your band.”

“Ja, well, I still release singles every once in awhile. I will see to it that she gets the chance sometime.”

“I thought you gave up music entirely.”

“I did. But music became appealing again when the reason I gave it up vanished himself.”

“Oh.” So it was true; Klavier did give up music just for him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, what I do with my time is entirely up to me. Besides, I like music.” Klavier replied. “But…”

“Yeah?”

“You really should tell them you’re okay. I’ve visited them many times since your disappearance and they’re… distraught. I won’t break my promise; you have my word. But won’t you please just… consider it?”

“Klav… I dunno if I can yet.” Apollo replied. He felt guilty staying away but he could only imagine how worse his guilt would be should he come close and hurt any of them.

“I see.” Klavier looked up at the sky, though the fireworks hadn’t started quite yet. The disappointment in his voice was obvious, so Apollo reached out and grabbed his hand.

“I said yet. So…” Apollo hesitated. “Give me three months. Besides, I need to put the suit you got me to good use at some point, right?”

Klavier just smiled and squeezed his hand. He looked like he was going to say something else, but the crowd around them began their countdown so he remained silent.

Five!

For some reason, hearing the countdown made it all the more real that it actually was New Year’s. The year honestly felt as though it had gone by so quickly. It probably felt like that because he hadn’t done much this year except wait to die.

Four!

He had left Khura’in in the middle of April, with the intention of dying before the new year even came. It felt strange to be here right now. He had just felt so hopeless when he left Khura’in. He felt like there was absolutely no future ahead of him. So to be sitting here, seconds away from 2032… it felt strange, especially when he didn’t think he’d live that long.

Three!

Strange but not unpleasant. It would be a lie to say that he wasn’t scared anymore. He was still terrified. He knew from experience that things could go horribly, horribly wrong without so much as a warning. And it didn’t matter that Klavier had taken the time to hold and comfort him; he couldn’t control fate.

Two!

But… he supposed he didn't control fate, either. He had spent years now honestly believing that his presence somehow caused bad things to happen. …He still believed it, a little at least. He indeed had an unreasonable amount of tragedies occur in his lifetime. It was safe to say that he himself was an unlucky person and he couldn't deny that he had made quite a few mistakes that could have been prevented. But as Klavier had told him, he didn’t cause that misfortune himself. And as Clay and Dhurke and even Nahyuta had said before him: there was no way he could control that himself.

One!

He’d like to believe that. Or at least… he’d like to try. Maybe for once he could attempt to swallow his doubts and just try to accept that he was just a person. A person who, as Klavier had said, had simply been through too much. No curses, no omens, nothing like that. Just a person who had made a lot of mistakes, and been through many events he couldn't control, just like anyone else. But a person who had done some good, too, he thought, leaning against Klavier’s side. Klavier wrapped his arm around Apollo’s waist and silently pulled him closer.

Happy New Year!

Yes, he was still terrified. He knew that things could still very well go wrong, but… He’d try to take things one day at a time, if he could. Right now, currently, on January 1^st, 2032, he was leaning against Klavier Gavin as the two of them watched the sky light up with dazzling fireworks. Right now, he was thinking about how he had saved this man's life and how he was living, breathing proof that Apollo Justice wasn't just some unwanted curse that no one wanted around. And right now... right now, he felt happy.

Apollo leaned up and gave Klavier a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you, Klav."

Klavier still said nothing as the fireworks burst up above them, their sparks illuminating his face bright shades of pink, purple and red as they went off, but his beautiful smile said enough. The New Year was upon them now and for the first time in a very, very long time Apollo could actually imagine himself with some sort of future in it. 

Apollo turned in early that night. He and Klavier didn’t return to the apartment until around one in the morning, and it had been a long, emotionally draining day. Yet despite how tiring it had been and how exhausted he was, he couldn’t bring himself to sleep very long. As usual, a half-remembered nightmare startled him awake only about an hour after he dozed off and with how badly he was shaking he determined he probably wasn’t going to get much sleep anytime soon. He headed out into the living room and, as usual, found Klavier still awake, strumming away at his guitar. Once he noticed Apollo strolling in, he stopped abruptly.

“Sorry, schatzi.” Klavier said gently. “Did I wake you?”

“No, it’s fine.” Apollo replied, sitting down beside him on the couch. “I’ve been meaning to ask, though. What’s that word mean?”

“You mean schatzi?”

“Yeah. Is that German for forehead or something?”

“Close, but no.” He strummed another chord again, as if for effect. “It means sweetheart.”

“O-oh.”

“I can stop if you’d like?”

“No, it’s fine. It’s just…” He scratched the back of his head. “You’ve been calling me that for awhile now. I remember you writing that on the letter you left me.”

“Ja, I did.”

“Why? I was so awful to you.”

“I already told you: I love you. Besides, awful is a bit of a stretch. You were just a little standoffish.”

“I guess.”

There was a pause for a moment. Klavier tapped his fingers against the guitar a little, anxious to play but not wanting to end the conversation quite yet.

“Say, Klav?”

“Ja?”

“You still haven’t really told me why you pushed me away all those years ago.”

“Oh. Simple. No offense, but I didn’t trust you yet.”

“Hair.”

“What?”

“You run your hand through your hair when you lie, or when you’re nervous. I told you this before and you just did it again. You’re really good at dodging questions but it won’t work on me.”

”We’re lawyers; we learn from the best.” He pulled the guitar off and placed it against the wall. “Do you remember what I said earlier about my brush with death?”

“Yeah.” He grimaced. “What about it?”

“Because of that incident, I became very paranoid. I had to get rid of any possibility that Kristoph could get to me again. From remodeling my entire office to making sure even my shoes were custom made, I ensured that everything in my life was under my control.”

“Oh.”

“What?”

“Back then I thought you were kinda a diva for all the personalized stuff.”

“That’s fine. That was the image I was going for; being called a diva when I had a meltdown over a missing keychain was better than having to tell anyone the truth. Anyways, after you put Kristoph away, I figured I could relax a little and returned to the courtroom. He was in jail; what could he possibly do to me now? I was safe.” He sighed. “But then the Misham case happened and I realized he could still hurt people, even while locked up. It made my paranoia even worse. It made me wonder if he had any other traps laid out or if there was anyone else he had tried to hurt.”

“He… didn’t try to kill you again, did he?” Apollo asked nervously.

“Nein, he did not. He monitored everyone involved in that case for seven years. I never confronted him about the poison; I didn’t have enough proof. But surely he must have known I was on to him. I changed all the furniture in my home and even wrote a damn song about it. He must have known I would catch him if he tried again. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t threaten it.”

“Why didn’t you just tell the police about it?”

“It wasn’t that simple. Every letter he sent out was checked beforehand. My brother was smart and knew better than to write anything blatantly malicious. Anyways, just after the holidays that year, Kristoph sent me a letter. Basic stuff, asking me how I was doing, that kind of thing. Small talk. I knew he wanted something and was going to throw it away... But then he started talking about you.”

“M-me?”

“Ja. He was just telling me an anecdote from when you were his intern. Something about how nervous you were, and how you basically kept a law book on your person at all times so you didn’t mess anything up. It was a cute story. Or it would’ve been, if Kristoph hadn’t ended it so strangely. I still remember what he had written: did you know that Justice has a tendency to lick his finger before turning the pages of a book?”

“I don’t do that. At least I don’t think I do?” Apollo said. “But… Did he really-”

“Nein, I don’t think he did. At least, I don’t think he could have had the chance to. At that point the Gavin Law Offices was long since closed; I seriously doubt he had the time between your first case until then to do something. But he knew me well and he knew how little it took to set my paranoia off. He was very good at that, you know? I became scared; I thought about what I had been through, how much it had hurt, how even with the survival of me and Fraülein Vera, the chances of another miracle were still very slim. I thought about something like that happening to you… and I was terrified. But what in the world could I do? If I suddenly went to your place and threw out all your furniture, you’d think I had lost it. I tried to calm myself down; I figured if we just stayed friends, then nothing would happen. You would never get close enough to me for something bad to happen. But then you kissed me, and I…”

“Okay, I think I get it now.” Now that he thought about it, Apollo did remember that night when he had asked Klavier out to dinner, the way he had been so engrossed in a letter when Apollo went to his office, the way he had snatched it away before Apollo could read it, how he had quickly brushed it off as angry fan mail… Apollo hadn’t questioned it back then, too antsy about asking him out to question him on an affair that probably wasn’t his business. Now he wished he had.

“I’m sorry, Herr Forehead. I should have told you what had happened. I just… I didn’t think you’d believe me. Evidence is everything in court, you know. And once again, I found myself with nothing but my own words. By the time I realized how foolishly I had acted, I had already torn a rift between us. Apollo, I'm so sorry.” 

Apollo couldn’t help it; he began to laugh.

“What?”

“I can’t believe it. We avoided each other for years for the same stupid reason.”

“…Ah. Now that you mention it, I guess that is true. Still, I wish I hadn’t done that. Maybe if I had just been honest with you, all of the bad things that you-”

“Stop. Don’t go there. Even if we had started dating back then, all that horrible shit would’ve happened anyways.”

“Ja, but I would’ve liked to have been there for you.”

“Yeah… I would’ve liked that too.”

“Well, we can make up for that now, can’t we?”

Klavier wrapped an arm around Apollo’s shoulders and pulled him closer and he complied, resting his head upon his shoulder. They sat like that for a moment, and Apollo shut his eyes. It was comfortable, and he loved it.

“Hey, Klav?”

“Yeah?”

“How come you’re not afraid of me being with you anymore? You pushed me away because you thought Kristoph might hurt me, even from jail. So… what changed?”

“Dead men can’t hurt anyone.”

Apollo froze.

“D-dead?”

“Ja. He was executed.”

“Wait, when?”

“Last October, five years after the Misham case.”

“Oh. Um… is it bad that I don’t know whether to say I’m sorry or I’m glad?”

“Nein, I understand. It’s all very convoluted. He was my only brother; I grew up with him. He saved my life when I was little, once upon a time. But then he had to go and hold that against me until I felt powerless to say no to him. Not to mention the whole he attempted to murder me thing.” Klavier laughed. “Makes it hard to determine whether I should leave flowers or spit on his grave.”

“Wait, so that’s why you were in the cemetery that night?”

“Correct. Who knew that Kristoph would once again lead me to you? I guess I’m glad I chose flowers.”

“I’m glad you did too.” Apollo said, squeezing Klavier’s arm. “Um-”

“What is it?”

“I don’t think I ever properly thanked you for saving me back then. So… thanks. If you hadn’t been there, I think I would have actually died that night.”

“Don’t thank me. I’m sure you would have done the same for me.”

“I don’t think you’d ever be dumb enough to wind up in a place like that.”

“Not dumb, Apollo. Rash and impulsive, ja, but not dumb.”

“If you say so.”

“I do say so.”

Apollo was going to say something else but yawned instead.

“Apollo, why are you always visiting me at three am?”

“I don’t know, why are you always up at three am?”

“I find I’m most inspired to write and play late at night and I never broke the habit. That’s why I sleep in so late.”

His answer seemed skeptical, but Apollo’s bracelet hung loose around his wrist. Huh. Maybe rock star prosecutor Klavier Gavin really did have shit sleeping habits.

“Now, why are you up so late?”

“Oh. Uh. It’s nothing. I mean, it’s really silly, so…”

“I won’t judge.”

“Well… I’ve been having nightmares. Frequently. That’s it.”

“Ah.” He looked deeply saddened. “About what, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“About… everything, I guess. Especially what happened to Clay and Nahyuta. Sometimes Mr. Wright’s there. Or Trucy, or Athena. And really bad things happen to them, too. Because of me.” He paused, scratching the back of his neck. He felt embarrassed; he sounded like a child, explaining a silly nightmare to a tired adult. Except Klavier only looked tired because it was three in the morning and he was listening to Apollo with the utmost patience and didn’t show any signs of being irritated or angry so he continued. “Um… sometimes you’re there, too. And you… um… You usually die. Because of something I did, or-”

“Apollo, that’s enough.” The way he said it was gentle, not condescending. “Come here.” He wrapped his arms around him then laid back on the couch, pulling Apollo down on top of him.

“What… what are you doing?”

“When I had nightmares as a little kid, sometimes my mama used to invite me back to her and my Vater's room to sleep for the rest of the night. I remember it helping.”

“You’re not my dad.”

“Ja, I’m not. But this is nice, right?”

“This can’t possibly be comfortable for you.”

“You’re light as a feather, I promise.”

“Well…” Apollo couldn’t deny that the offer was enticing. Plus, he was exhausted, and couldn't think of anything he wanted to do less than get up out of Klavier's arms and walk away. He certainly wouldn’t mind falling asleep like this. “What about you?”

“I’ll fall asleep eventually. I always do. Besides, having you here helps.”

“But…” Apollo was going to argue further but wound up yawning again.

“We can talk about this later. For now, rest.” Klavier said, stroking Apollo’s hair. “I’ll be right here in case you wake up.”

“Mmm... all right.”

“I love you, Apollo.”

In his exhausted daze he was suddenly reminded of Clay saying the exact same thing to him that sleepy morning the day of his launch. He didn’t want to make the same mistake twice.

“I love you too, Klav.”

Apollo startled himself awake again a couple hours later. But when he opened his eyes he quickly realized that he was still warm in Klavier’s embrace and his face was buried in the soft material of his silky pajama shirt and above all else he could hear his gentle snoring and the muffled sound of his heartbeat. Klavier was here. He was all right. He was alive. And Apollo was resting in the arms of someone he had actually saved.

He dozed off again and slept peacefully until the sun was high in the sky. When he woke up, Klavier had draped a blanket over him and was in the kitchen, humming along to one of his own songs as he cooked breakfast. From the smell of it, the eggs weren’t burnt this time. 

Apollo and Klavier decided to take their relationship slow. After all, this was the first relationship Apollo had that lasted for more than… well, one day. A single evening if he wanted to be technical. He was still nervous that he’d do something wrong, something that would hurt Klaiver or maybe even get him killed. But Klavier was kind and patient and knew that falling in love wouldn't simply solve all the problems in Apollo's life. He would let Apollo work through his issues as long as he needed to. Besides, dating Klavier wasn’t all that different from being his friend. Going out for coffee, holding his hand, staying up late and watching movies with him on the couch… they had done all of this before, and maybe if both of them had worked through their insecurities quicker, they wouldn’t have needed to wait five years. Better late than never, Apollo figured.

One day however, about a week and a half after New Year’s, Klavier returned to the apartment with a guest.

“Welcome back…” Apollo trailed off when he noticed Lamiroir of all people standing behind his boyfriend.

“Apollo!” She exclaimed. She rushed past Klavier and pulled Apollo into a hug.

“Um… what…” Apollo awkwardly accepted the hug, and stared back at Klavier. “Klavier, what’s going on?”

“Herr Forehead, I’m sorry.” Klavier said. “I know I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone about you, but she saw right through me.”

“How did the subject of me even come up?” Apollo asked when Lamiroir finally pulled away. “Why are you two hanging out in the first place? …Also hi, Lamiroir, it’s nice to see you again.”

“It’s wonderful to see you too.” Lamiroir responded, and something about the way she said wonderful made Apollo feel flustered.

“We’re not just hanging out.” Klavier said. “We were actually working on another song together. I told you that I’ve released a couple of singles while you were away, ja? Well why not do another together?”

“Because you hate the Guitar’s Serenade. Remember people kept sending you rude calls about it? You even said you’d never play it again!”

“Ja, I did, but you loved it.”

“So what?”

“So…” He looked a little embarrassed all of a sudden. “So we thought that maybe if we released another song together you might come back.”

“…Really?”

“It was a bit of a stretch, but yes.” Lamiroir said. “It was Mr. Wright’s idea, actually.”

“Why would he suggest that?”

"I have no idea." Klavier replied. 

"I can think of a few reasons." Was all Lamiroir said. 

“Mr. Wright’s ideas never make sense.” Apollo sighed. “Wait, why were you even talking to him the first place?”

Lamiroir said nothing for a moment and just stared at him. She looked just as beautiful as before, and even with a sweater instead of the fancy star-patterned cloak she still had an air of majesty about her. Based on the way she looked at him and the intensity of her gaze, he could tell that she had gone through with the operation she had been so nervous to try all those years ago and she certainly wasn’t blind anymore. It sent a shiver down his spine.

“Why are you here with Mr. Gavin when everyone else has been worried sick about you?” She asked, and her tone was so intense that Apollo didn’t even care that she had just dodged his question. “Trucy has a right to know! They all do!”

Apollo wanted to argue with her and tell her that she was wrong, that she couldn’t possibly understand his reasoning, and he wanted to ask her why she even cared so much, but he couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eye. When most people tried to pry themselves into his life he tended to get defensive or irritated but with Lamiroir he only felt shame. It was like he’d been caught in a lie by a parent and now he was being scolded for it. He looked away and said nothing.

“Um…” Klavier interjected.

“And you, Mr. Gavin!” Lamiroir interrupted. “How long have you known he’s all right and not told anyone? If I hadn’t met you in person I would have never found out! The Agency was relying on you to tell them if something came up!”

Calm, confident Klavier actually looked a little startled.

“Don’t be mad at him.” Apollo answered for him. “I’m the one who made him promise not to tell anyone. And he broke the promise anyways, so it’s fine, right?”

“I did not break the promise!” Klavier sounded a bit offended at the notion. “She’s just… very perceptive.”

“It’s really not that hard to read you, Klav.”

“You play with your hair when you’re nervous.”

Both Apollo and Lamiroir said it at the same time. Klavier, who had been running a hand through his hair, stopped abruptly, looking embarrassed.

“Lamiroir.” Klavier said. “Would you like to stay for dinner? It seems you and Herr Forehead have a lot to talk about.”

“Yes, that sounds lovely.”

“Ja, cool. I’ll be right back then.” He turned around and headed out the door without another word.

“Where is he going?” Lamiroir asked.

“My guess is he’s getting take out.” Apollo replied. “I think you scared him a little.”

“My apologies. I suppose I was a little overbearing.”

“Yeah. …Lamiroir, I’m gonna go change. I’ll be right back.”

“I don’t mind.”

“I do.” He only wearing a sweatshirt and a pair of boxers, covered in the Gavinner’s G symbol, courtesy of Klavier. She simply nodded and let him go. He changed into something decent, all the while trying to think of something to say to her. When he returned she had already made herself completely at home and was sitting on the couch with a soda in hand. She had another one for Apollo. It was one of those diet ones he hated but he wasn’t about to complain to her. He sat down beside her and for a moment they just drank in silence as Apollo felt more and more uneasy with each passing second. Thankfully that silence was interrupted by Mikeko trotting towards them. He hopped up onto the couch then crawled onto Lamiroir’s lap.

“Mikeko,” Apollo sighed, reaching out to him, “don’t jump on her.”

“Oh, he’s not bothering me.” Lamiroir replied, scratching him under the chin. Mikeko purred happily. “Aww, hello sweetie.”

“That’s... weird.”

“What is?”

“He’s not usually this friendly to strangers. It took him forever to warm up to Klavier yet he’s already acting like your best friend.”

“Well, I’m happy to have gotten his approval.” Mikeko had now curled up into a ball on her lap. “I’ve always wanted a cat, you know?”

“Why didn’t you get one?”

“Lots of reasons. My first husband and I could barely make ends meet to begin with so getting a cat was out of the picture. He would’ve loved a cat though, I’m certain of it.”

“I didn’t know you had a husband.”

“I had two. But… they’re both gone now.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, Lamiroir.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Well… what were they like?”

“My first husband…” She smiled. “He was wonderful. He was a traveling musician. He never went anywhere without his guitar and would play all day if you let him. He didn’t talk to me for a whole day when I first met him. I honestly thought he didn’t like me or something. But I was wrong. He spent the whole day trying to write a love song for me and wanted to make sure I didn’t overhear any of it until it was done. I can still remember how much his hands were shaking when he played it for me late that night. It was really sweet of him. I was so flattered that I didn't even mind that he pronounced my name incorrectly.”

Apollo hadn’t expected Lamiroir to be the type to gush but… he had to admit it was endearing to see her talk like this and couldn’t help but smile as she continued.

“He was the kind of person who would surprise me with flowers just because he felt like it. We couldn’t afford a lot but he always doted upon me when he had the chance. The two of us travelled the world together and it was just… it was thrilling. I spent my whole life in one place so being able to get out and experience something new was simply wonderful. Some of those times were stressful but I wouldn’t trade those experiences for the world.”

“Well, he sounds like a wonderful person.”

“Yes… he was.” She sighed. “I miss him.”

“I’m sorry, Lamiroir.”

“It wasn't your fault, Apollo.”

For some reason she was looking directly at him when she said it. 

“W-well, what about your other husband? What was he like?”

“Oh.” She paused, suddenly not looking so nostalgic. “He was fine, I guess.”

“Uh… okay.”

It was clear she didn’t have anything else to say about her second husband and went silent for a moment, looking away and taking another sip of her soda. Apollo continued to drink his too, wondering how much longer Klavier would be gone. He felt like he was saying all the wrong things to Lamiroir and he still didn’t understand why she was even here.

“I’m sorry for my outburst earlier.” Lamiroir finally said. “You can understand why I would be frustrated, right?”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Apollo replied. “I was just surprised you were so worried about me. I mean, being friends with Klavier is one thing, but all I was to you was Machi’s attorney.”

She didn’t reply. Apollo felt himself grow sweatier.

“Uh… speaking of, how is Machi?”

“He’s all right. He still has about a year left in his sentence. I still think that's far too harsh for a minor but seeing how the alternative in Borginia is execution… he’s doing all right.”

“Well… that’s good. I remember he was like a son to you.”

“Yes… like a son.”

The silence was heavy. Apollo took another swig from his soda.

“I, uh, didn’t know you were friends with Mr. Wright.”

“Yes, he’s very kind, isn’t he? He was the one who recommended I get the eye surgery.” She looked at Apollo. “I’m glad I did.”

“Yeah he’s… pretty nice, I guess.”

“I guess?”

“Well… he was pretty aloof when I first met him. But he grew on me, eventually.”

“He’s been in contact with me ever since Machi’s case. It was nice having someone I knew here when I moved back.”

“You live here now?”

“Yes. I’d like to be here for Machi when he’s released, among... other reasons.” She smiled. “You can visit whenever you like.”

“Okay…” God, this was weird. Why was she inviting him over and being so friendly? He didn’t mind it but it was… weird. Really weird. He was her sorta-son’s attorney. Really, that was it. “No offense, Lamiroir, but why do you care so much about me? I mean… I didn’t even think you’d remember me. It’s been what, five years?”

“Well…” She looked hesitant. “When Mr. Wright told me you had gone missing, I was worried.”

“You don’t really know me.”

“I wish I did.”

He couldn’t meet her gaze. Her eyes were intense when she couldn’t use them, but now that she could see they seemed to be drilling holes into his forehead. He didn’t understand this at all. Why would a famous, wonderful international star like her have any interest in someone like him?

Well... Klavier did. But that was different. Klavier had already explained his reason for caring so much. From what he could tell he was just Lamiroir’s lawyer.

“You really don’t, though. Has Mr. Wright told you anything about me?”

“Yes. He said you’re reliable, and incredibly cunning, and far stronger than you look. He speaks very admirably about you.”

“Are you sure this is the right Mr. Wright we’re talking about here?”

“Yes, I’m sure. He’s told me so many wonderful things about you, Apollo.”

There it was again; the way she said wonderful sent a chill up his spine.

“Well, he doesn’t know me that well. If he knew-”

“If he knew what? If I recall correctly, he was in a pretty low spot when you met him. I doubt there’s anything he’d judge you too harshly for.”

”I can think of a few things. He wasn’t too happy that I broke out of the hospital twice.”

“…You were hospitalized?”

“Yeah, I was in an explosion. Then I got bludgeoned.”

“He didn’t tell me that.” Lamiroir sounded horrified. “You broke out of the hospital in that condition?”

“Yeah, I did.” Why was she so concerned? “It was fine, though. I wasn’t hurt that badly and I had things I needed to do anyways.”

“What could possibly be more important than your health?”

“My friends. I was trying to solve my…” He glanced at Lamiroir. “My boyfriend’s murder.”

“Oh. Apollo, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” It wasn’t. “It was four years ago anyways. And I... y’know.”

“What?”

“I’m not really known for having the best of luck. I’m sure Mr. Wright could tell you that. Hell, I had to solve my foster father’s murder by watching my actual father’s murder. It’s… complicated.”

Lamiroir looked rather pale. But she nodded at him to keep going.

“I was in a fire when I was a baby and my dad spent his last moments trying to save me. I mean, I knew that, growing up, my foster father told me about it, but actually seeing it for myself was rather. Uh. Sobering, I guess.” He laughed, nervously. “Watching it myself… I kinda began to wonder if I should’ve died in that fire along with him. I-I mean…”

He wasn’t sure why he was still going. He didn’t mean anything to Lamiroir, she was just an artist who apparently cared a little too much. But the look she was giving him was sympathetic and patient; she seemed to be listening. And something about her seemed so trustworthy; he... he honestly felt like he could tell her anything.

“I haven’t really done much, y’know? I’ve moved from place to place, I’ve left so many people behind… My foster brother used to tell me that nothing good ever happened when I was around. Turns out he was right; he died saving my life about a year ago now. I began to realize that he was probably right. All I’ve done is hurt anyone who gets close to me, and watching what happened to my dad made me realize that if I hadn’t been born at all, maybe he would’ve been okay. He spent his final moments trying to protect me… And for what? If I had never been there in the first place, maybe he would’ve lived, and he and my mom would’ve stayed together and been so much happier and-”

“Don’t say that.” Lamiroir interrupted. “Don’t you ever say that again, you hear me?”

Lamiroir looked distraught; her eyes glimmering with tears. Before Apollo could say anything else, she pulled him into a hug. She held him tight, caressing his hair as if he were an upset child.

“Apollo, you were a miracle. And I was… no, we were so happy to have you.”

“L-Lamiroir? What are you talking about?”

She pulled away from the hug, sliding her hand down his arm, letting her fingers trace the intricate design on his well-loved bracelet. She grabbed his hand and placed it on her wrist. Through the plush of her sweater, he could tell that she was wearing jewelry too. He pulled her sweater sleeve down a little and found his bracelet’s twin resting on her wrist.

“Y-you…” He gasped, bringing his hand to his mouth. “You’re my…?”

“Yes, Apollo. I’m your mom.”

“But I… what…” He scratched the back of his neck anxiously. “Where were you? How come you never tried to find me? I… I waited years for you! I thought you had completely given up on me! Where have you been?!”

“Apollo, I’m so sorry. After Jove died in Khura’in, I thought you had died, too. I searched as hard as I could, but after the queen’s assassination, things were in complete disarray and the police had no time for me. They told me that everyone in that building had perished. I… I didn’t have any reason to doubt that. So, thinking I had lost everything… I went back to the U.S.”

“B-but… I was here! I came back here when I was eight!”

“Oh, sweetheart… I wish I had known that. But I thought you had died. I went back to my old life, back to the troupe, thinking it was the only place left for me after losing my son and husband. I stayed here and had a family with a man I did not love, never knowing that my son was alive. If I had known you were still out there… I’m so sorry, Apollo. I know nothing I could say would ever make up for leaving you behind.”

“It…” Apollo replied, trying to process everything she was saying. “It’s okay. I mean, I gave up on you too.”

“You had every right to. I wasn’t there. Ever. I’ve been a horrible mother to you.”

“No, it’s okay. I honestly thought that I had just been… abandoned by you. You didn’t know I was alive. That’s completely different, and I can understand why you left. I… pretty much did the same thing Nahyuta died.”

“Nahyuta?”

“Yeah. He was the foster brother I mentioned earlier.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry about that, sweetheart. I know how hard it can be to lose a family member.”

“It’s okay.” He was about to tell her that it really wasn’t the same, seeing how Nahyuta always liked to explain that they weren’t actually family, but he decided to hold his tongue for now. “W-wait, speaking of family… you said you had another family back here. Do I… have any siblings?”

“Yes.” Despite her tears, she smiled. “You have a sister. And no matter how awful those years after Jove’s death were, I am so thankful for her, too.”

“A sister? Wow… I can’t wait to meet her.” Apollo said, a small smile crossing his lips. A sister, huh? The closest thing to a sibling he had ever had was Nahyuta. But this was different. This time, he’d be the older brother. It was a lot to take in, and he could only hope that he’d do half as good a job as Nahyuta had done for him and Rayfa. “I hope she likes me.”

“Oh, Apollo; she already loves you. If what Mr. Wright told me is correct, she says that you’re the best magician’s assistant she could ever ask for.”

“Magician’s assistant…?” He gasped. “Wait, Trucy?! Trucy’s my sister?!”

“Yes.”

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Here he had been dwelling for years that he had had no real family no matter where he went and had left for Khura’in because Nahyuta was the closest thing he ever had to one when all this time Trucy had been by his side. He felt like an idiot for leaving her behind so quickly.

“Oh my god, Trucy…” He muttered. “This whole time… she was right here…?”

“I’m so sorry, I know this must be a lot to take in. It certainly was for me.”

“Wait, that’s right… if your Trucy’s mom then that means you’re actually Thalassa Gramarye! So your eyesight… your memories…” He gulped, remembering that case he had had to study all those years ago, the one that had lead to Mr. Wright's disbarment... Thalassa Gramarye, shot in the head by the other two troupe members, the accident being covered up by her greedy father and used to blackmail his students… “You didn’t recognize me or Trucy because of that accident.”

“Correct. When Mr. Wright convinced me to get the eye surgery, I got both my eyes and my memories back.”

“But wasn’t that back in 2025? How come you didn’t tell me or Trucy?”

“Well…” She gulped; Apollo immediately remembered this to be her nervous tell. “I felt like I had no place in your life.”

“That’s not true. I would’ve loved to get to know you! And Trucy, she missed you so much-”

“I know, Apollo, I know. But…” She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “I saw how grown up you two had become… how happy, and I thought you two would be better off without me. You never got to know me, Trucy lost me when she was only eight and was raised well by Mr. Wright… what could I possibly do for the two of you now? It’s shameful of me, but I waited, and kept in contact with Mr. Wright so I could hear about you two from a far. I suppose I was worried… that you might hate me. Or I might do something to ruin your lives even further. Or that it had been so long that neither of you would even want to meet me. I already had such a great track record as a mother as is.” She looked at him firmly. “It was the biggest mistake I had ever made. If I had known what would happen to you… If I told you the truth, maybe you wouldn’t have…”

“No, it’s okay. That… me running off, what happened to Clay, and Nahyuta… none of that was your fault.”

“It wasn’t yours, either.”

“Well…” He scratched the back of his head. “You’re right, I guess.”

“I mean it, Apollo. I know I haven’t done a good job as a mother, not in the slightest. But I love you. And I don’t want to hear you say that we would have been better off without you. No matter what happened to me, or to Jove… I never once thought you were a mistake. Ever. I just wish I could have known you for longer.”

Apollo could feel himself tearing up, but before he could say anything else, Thalassa cupped his face in her hands and smiled.

“And I’m so thankful Mr. Wright convinced me to get that eye surgery. You’ve grown up so beautifully, Apollo.”

“Thanks…” It was too late now; he had started crying. He took a deep, shuddering breath, and said something he never thought he’d get the chance to: “Mom.”

Apollo hugged his mother tightly and cried on her shoulder. It took him fourteen years to give up on ever seeing Dhurke again and sometime during that time, he had accepted that he would never get to meet his mother. Whether she was dead like Jove or just didn’t want him, he had figured deep down he would never get the chance to know. But now she was here, holding him in her arms, shuddering and crying from the sheer joy of meeting the son she had truly believed was dead and from the despair of never getting to see him grow up and the complete and utter relief that they were finally reunited after all these year. Despite his sobs, Apollo couldn’t help but smile. In his mind, over and over again, he had heard Nahyuta scream at him that his parents had never wanted him. But now, as his mother held him close, he finally knew for a fact that that was not true.

For the first time in years he felt... wanted. 

Apollo and Thalassa were interrupted by what sounded like the door being kicked open.

“Hey-” It was Klavier, his hands full with a rather large bag of Chinese take out. “Hey, can one of you hold the…” He finally looked up and noticed Apollo and Thalassa sitting on the couch in each other’s arms with tears staining both of their faces. “Ach, sorry!” He stepped back and let the door slam shut in front of him. Apollo just laughed and got up from the couch to help him out. 

When the three of them ate dinner together that night and Apollo realized just how long it had been since he had had a family dinner, surrounded by people he loved and who loved him in turn. He knew it would take a long time to make up for the years they had spent apart, but just sitting here beside her, having her ask him if he was eating enough and insisting he have more, listening as she talked away with Klavier about music, talking with her about what they might do together, for mother's day, for birthdays, for the sake of just spending time together... it was all something he had never realized just how much he wanted until it was his to enjoy. Simply hearing her say I'll see you soon after he and Klavier had dropped her off at her home that night felt like nothing short of a miracle. 

He had spent his whole life thinking that he had no future and that Nahyuta had been right and that Apollo Justice was some unwanted kid that his own parents hadn't wanted. As each year passed and he felt more and more isolated, he had begun to agree with all the things he said that day.

He was so thankful that they had both been wrong. 

About a week after Thalassa’s visit, Apollo decided to finally return to the Wright Anything Agency. He was still nervous about what his presence might do, but with Klavier and his mother supporting him, he felt like he could at the very least muster up the courage to do this.

He had Klavier drop him off at the agency on his way to work. He had asked him and Thalassa if he could do this alone. It just seemed… better to return here by himself. He took a deep breath, and checked his reflection in the window of the building. He looked… nice. Well, nicer than he had in nearly a year, at least. He was wearing the brand new suit Klavier had given him and had his hair back in its usual hairstyle. He looked the same… mostly. Except, upon closer inspection, he realized his face looked a little different. He looked older. More tired, maybe. Well, whatever. To say the years between the last time he had been here and now had been exhausting was an understatement. He fixed his tie and headed up the stairs.

He didn’t bother to knock; when he had left the agency, Mr. Wright had let him keep his copy of the key, telling him that he could come back whenever he wanted to. He… really hadn’t done that. When in Khura’in he had been so busy with the workload that he hadn’t had the time. That, and he had been selfish; being away from home meant he could ignore all the bad things that had happened here; he could ignore what had happened with Klavier, and to Clay… Yeah, that had seemed like a perfect reason to leave and never look back in the past, but now he felt a little pathetic for doing so. But… whatever. The fact of the matter was that he was back now. He unlocked the door and let himself in.

The office was dark. Apollo checked his phone; it was only a few minutes from ten. Usually the office was open by now, but maybe everyone was out for… breakfast, or something. The agency was never very busy and he remembered quite a few times in the past where Mr. Wright would close up shop and go to lunch or run errands or sometimes just do go out and do something else. That was probably what happened today.

Apollo flipped on the lights and gasped at what he saw.

The office was… trashed, though this wasn’t unusual. It was what was cluttering everything that made it so unique. There were posters everywhere: on the table, on every desk except for his, and stacked on some of Trucy’s lesser-used magical props and Mr. Wright's dusty piano. Apollo noticed they were all the same and he grabbed one to get a better look. He really hoped this wasn’t a repeat of the office nearly being taken from them like when Trucy had been accused of murder. He was surprised to find his own face staring back at him and in large, bolded text, it read:

MISSING

Name: Apollo Justice / Age: 27 / Height: 5’5 / Weight: 135lbs

Last seen in the Kingdom of Khura’in but it is very likely he is in Los Angeles. If you have any information on his whereabouts, please, please, PLEASE call The Wright Anything Agency at…

Apollo gulped as he read the words over and over again. Mr. Wright must have been truly desperate. No, not just Mr. Wright. The way it was written made him think Trucy had been the one to type it up, and on Athena’s desk was a brand new printer; she was probably the reason for the sheer number of copies. He immediately felt guilty. When he had vanished he figured that Mr. Wright and everyone else would just move on with their lives. The cluttered nature of the office just screamed desperation and it didn’t matter that it had been nearly a year; they clearly hadn’t given up yet and had been searching non-stop ever since they heard the news.

Aside from the clutter of the posters, the office was much the same. At least his part of the office was. It had been nearly four years, yet his desk remained the same as it had been since he had left. The only difference was that it was unnaturally clean. Someone had been keeping it clean and tidy for his return. However, in the middle of his desk, he noticed one thing out of place. There was a single envelope on his desk, and based on the amount of stamps and postage, it had been sent all the way from Khura’in. Inside, he recognized the crumpled up letter he had neglected to send to Mr. Wright nearly a year ago. There was also a note from Datz tucked away inside.

P.W.,

I found this in Apollo’s office and I was wondering… did he go back home? I haven’t seen heads or tails of him in a few days and I don’t know where else he’d go. Please let me know if he’s with you. I’m sure he is but he didn’t tell anyone he left and I’m really worried about him, y’know? I’ll keep it brief because he made me promise not to tell you the details, but… the kid’s been through a lot lately and I can tell it’s really taking a toll on him. It’s not like him to just disappear without telling anyone. He even left all his things behind, including his badge! I dunno. I’m probably worrying over nothing. But… just let me know if he’s okay. And if he is, tell him to keep better track of this.

-Datz

The envelope had some weight to it and when he flipped it over, his attorney’s badge came tumbling out and landed on his desk with a small clatter. He picked it up and knew for certain it was his; there was a scratch in the center from the bombing after Clay’s murder that he could never get out. Datz… he must have been the one to tell Mr. Wright and everyone else that he had gone missing. And of course he had; after all it was Datz who he had spent the most time with during those hopelessly miserable weeks after Nahyuta’s death. Apollo felt horrible; he had really taken him for granted, hadn’t he? He recalled Klavier telling him that people had been searching for him both here and in Khura’in, but the gravity of those words didn’t hit him until now. He honestly thought Datz might hate him for what he had done; disappearing in the middle of the night without a single word to anyone, abandoning Dhurke’s law firm and the Defiant Dragon’s dream… but no, Datz was out there, looking for him just like everyone at the agency was. He’d really have to apologize to him sometime.

He put the letter back on the table but pocketed his attorney's badge. He headed over to Athena’s desk, which he noticed had become a cluttered mess. Case files, what was likely old or unneeded evidence and countless pencils and paper and candy bar wrappers were scattered all about its surface. He also noticed quite a few pictures that hadn’t been there before. There was one of her with Blackquill at the soba shop with Bucky and Uendo. It seemed Blackquill still wore his black clothing but with a colorful friend group like that he stood out like a sore thumb. She also had quite a few pictures of her with various clients over the years; based on the lack of people around her, Apollo could guess that she had taken multiple cases on herself without anyone to assist her. He was glad; Mr. Wright and Blackquill had babied her enough. Lastly, she had gotten most of the pictures from the various New Year's parties framed. She had one for each year since her employment. He noticed he was only in one of them; the 2026 one. He felt bad, though. He was smiling in it, sure, but he could see the remains of angry burns crisscrossing up his arms from the explosion and he didn’t need hypersensitive hearing to tell that he was upset. That was the same year Clay had died, and this had been taken only a few weeks after the fact. He hadn’t been up for holiday cheer. During the years since he was gone, for the most part it looked jovial. There were faces he recognized and quite a few he didn’t… but he noticed there was not one for this last year. Part of him wanted to hope that it was because it had been so recent and they hadn’t gotten around to getting it printed, but… somehow he knew that that wasn’t the reason why.

He picked up the photo from last year’s party. Pictured was Mr. Wright, who had his arm wrapped around the Chief Prosecutor’s shoulder, Maya and Pearl were in front of them, and Trucy had her hand on Pearl’s shoulder. Juniper and Athena were arm in arm, but Athena was on her tiptoes, trying to give Blackquill bunny ears, which he either didn’t notice or didn’t care. A detective Apollo didn’t know by name but recognized by his bulky appearance was there, and seemed to have Mr. Wright’s obnoxious friend who always dressed in orange in a vice grip as the flash from the camera startled him. He sighed as he glanced at the picture. He... missed these people. He really hoped he would still have a place here in the future... should they let him. 

He put the picture down and headed over to Mr. Wright’s desk. Somehow he had managed to keep it cleaner than Athena’s. Maybe in recent years he finally decided to tidy up more than just the toilet. Just like Athena’s there were some case files, a legal book here and there, a mug that said world’s greatest dad that was being used to hold pens instead of coffee. However, on the side of the desk, Apollo noticed quite a few letters that didn't look like bills for once. Curiosity got the best of him, and he got a closer look at them.

Mr. Wright,

Asked around and haven’t seen any sign of Justice. We’ll keep an eye out but hey, if none of my old friends have seen him, what danger could he be in?

Still, I’m worried about the kid. I’ll never forget what he did for Wocky and our family. We’ll let you know if we see him. But in the meantime, enjoy some cookies – on the house.

-P. Kitaki

Based on how crumpled the note was it had likely been tied to a bag of goodies.

Dear Mr. Wright,

I know I am unlikely to be of much help based on my… social skills, but I would like to help, if I can. Apollo and Trucy did so much for me. If it weren’t for them I might not even be alive right now. I’ve already contacted that reporter about his disappearance, but if there’s anything I can do to help, don’t hesitate to ask.

Perhaps I could paint an image of what he might look like today? The image you’re using on the poster is quite a few years old, I think. Please let me know if I can help!

Sincerely,

Vera Misham

He didn’t even need to read the name to know it was from her. He could see the paint splatters on the corner of the paper.

Mr. Wright,

Hearing that Apollo had moved on out to Khura’ien Kuh’rain Khura’in was not exactly what I expected to come home to after the launch but I figured, oh well. But now he’s gone missing, right? He was kinda like a little brother, y’know, he and Clay both. I can’t help but wonder if part of the reason he left is cause… y’know…

I should’ve done more, I guess. But… Apollo wouldn’t want me thinking like that, probably. I owe him so much for helping me and Clay. Director Cosmos let me put up a couple of posters in the space center. I know that’s not much, but… let me know if I can do something else, okay?

-Solomon Starbuck

There were several letters to the same caliber on Mr. Wright’s desk. He saw one from Jinxie Tenma and her father, there was one from Juniper, Bonnie… Apollo suddenly remembered what Klavier had said to him on New Years:

People care about you, Apollo. And I know I’m not the only one.

Back then they had been comforting words, and nothing more. But now that he saw the missing posters splayed all over the room and the letters offering assistance from so many past defendants, witnesses and friends... those words finally rung true. There were so many people... that were willing to help, that were worried about him, people Apollo never would've guessed would even remember him offering their assistance and wishing the agency luck in their search.He suddenly felt like an idiot for thinking he had been alone all this time. 

Soon enough he could hear the sound of people heading up the stairs and he put Mr. Starbuck’s letter down. He took a deep breath, straightened his tie again, and wiped the tears that had welled up in his eyes from reading the letters on his sleeve.

“That was way too early to be up.” He could hear Mr. Wright’s muffled voice through the closed door.

“Oh c’mon, Daddy,” Trucy replied, “I needed someone to set up my props for the show. Besides, I used to get up way earlier for grade school.”

“Thank god you’re done with that.”

“Mr. Wright, no offense, but I used to get up this early for a run everyday.” Athena added.

“My back hurts just from thinking about it.”

Apollo could hear the door rattling and gulped.

“Well maybe if you jogged in college instead of hanging around in the courtroom library you would…”

The door opened and she trailed off. There was a heavy silence for a moment as the three of them noticed Apollo standing before them in the office. Apollo stared back at them, nervously, and he could feel himself sweating. He had thought about how this reunion would go many times in his mind but now that it was here he couldn’t bring himself to say any of the pre prepared lines he had thought of.

“U-um…” He began.

“Apollo!”

The three of them rushed over to him and engulfed him in a tight group hug.

“Apollo, are you all right?!”

“We’ve been so worried about you!!”

“Thank god you’re okay!”

Despite how worried everyone was and how much they were fussing over him, their worried questions and exclaims of relief went over his head and all he could think about was how warm they all were. Honestly, he thought Mr. Wright might be disappointed in him. Maybe Athena would have punched him. And Trucy… honestly he wasn’t sure what she might do. But they were all embracing him, with tears in their eyes, holding him tight as if letting him go would make him vanish again. When they finally parted, it was Mr. Wright that spoke first:

“It’s good to see you again, Apollo.” He said. He put his hand on his shoulder and, of all things, smiled at him.

“It’s nice to see you too, Mr. Wright.” Apollo replied, taking in a shuddering breath.

“Hey, don’t forget about us!” Trucy exclaimed.

“Yeah, we’ve been worried sick about you!” Athena said, smacking him hard on the back before wrapping her arm around his shoulders. It hurt. She was a lot stronger than she seemed to realize. But he noticed she was tearing up, and after the stress he must have put them all under, he figured he couldn’t complain about a smack.

“I’m really sorry, you guys.”

“It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re safe.” Mr. Wright said. "Now we can-"

"Polly, where have you been?!" Trucy interrupted. She stared at him intensely. He supposed he knew where she got it from now. “Why didn't you call us? Why didn't you ever contact us? We… we thought you might have…”

Apollo noticed she was shaking. Poor thing… he hadn’t seen her cry since the time she was accused of murder herself. He never wanted to see her cry again, especially not over someone like him.

“Trucy…” He stepped closer towards her and realized that she wasn’t a child anymore, was she? She was going to be twenty-one this year. She had even grown taller than him; up close like this he could tell that she stood about an inch or so above him. For some reason, it made him the slightest bit somber. He had accepted that most people in his life would grow to be taller than him; his stunted height wasn’t going to change anytime soon. But this was his little sister, and she had grown up without him. He had only been present in her life for what? Two years? Maybe three? He was her family, and he wasn’t about to make that mistake again.

He hugged her again.

“I’m sorry, Trucy.” He said. “I promise I won’t ever do something like that again, all right? I swear!”

Trucy looked up at him, her eyes dark and focused, seemingly searching for any uncertainty in his statement. She seemed to find nothing, and finally smiled.

“I believe you.” Trucy hugged him back.

Mr. Wright closed up the Agency for the day; they didn’t have any cases at current time, and he determined that Apollo’s return warranted a celebration. Which, for the Wright Anything Agency, meant getting noodles. The noodles were still far saltier than Apollo liked but he hadn’t had them in nearly four years and it was nostalgic, to say the least. He missed getting noodles after a successful trial but above all else he missed the company.

Mr. Wright seemed to have mellowed out after Apollo’s departure. He served in court occasionally, of course, but for the most part he served as mentor and assistant to Athena. Apollo moving on to create a law firm of his own had taught him something: his employees were far more capable than he tended to give them credit for. In two years, Apollo had gone from a green horn rookie to the only defense attorney in Khura’in. He realized he had been underestimating him and Athena for far too long and let her take on more cases herself. She was smart and capable and she could do it and – on the off chance that she needed assistance – well, he’d be right there too. Beside, he added, now that Trucy had graduated and was taking her magic performances more seriously, he wanted to be present for more of her shows.

“I’ll be honest, I considered hiring a new attorney.” Mr. Wright told him. “But… I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of your things.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I wasn’t gonna be the one to clean them up.” He laughed, but his eyes darting to the side was a clear sign that that wasn’t the truth. Apollo just rolled his eyes.

“Speaking of… can I, uh, have my job back?”

“You disappear for a year and that’s the first thing you ask me?” He laughed again, and clapped a hand on Apollo’s shoulder, not as hard as Athena, thankfully. “Of course. I told you that you always have a place here. Welcome home, Apollo.”

Home, huh?

He had spent years trying to figure out where home really was, and now that he thought about it, slurping noodles with his friends at the agency had a homely feel to it.

Athena had grown more confident with the passing years. After Apollo left, her workload had essentially doubled, but she had been able to take care of it just fine. She had a great handful of victories beneath her belt now, and many of which had no involvement from Mr. Wright or Blackquill. Of course they were allowed to help out if they really wanted to, but she could hold her own just fine. She had also grown taller than Apollo and was close to Mr. Wright’s size now, which was something she did not hesitate to comment on.

“Junie has to stand on her tip toes to kiss me now.” She said proudly. “It’s really cute!”

“You’re dating Juniper now?”

“Yup! It’ll be two years come March.” She sighed. “I can’t wait til she graduates this May. Of course she had to choose a university abroad. As if we hadn’t spent enough time apart already!”

“Like you have the right to talk, Miss I-Disappeared-to-Europe.”

“Hey, don’t give me that! Besides, I’m not the only one who’s done it.” She smiled at him, mischievously. “A certain glimmerous prosecutor did the same thing if I recall correctly.”

“Yeah, he did.” Apollo replied, nearly choking on a noodle at the mention of Klavier.

“Well, tell him I say hi, okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’ll let him know.” He knew she’d figure it out sooner or later with that incredible hearing of hers. At least she wasn’t mad that Klavier had kept his return a secret. If she was, he could only imagine the number of autographed posters he’d owe her.

Trucy had grown up the most out of them all. She had graduated high school, and went on to college – Edgey insisted on it, she explained – all the while keeping up her magical act. If she was a professional in high school then she was a certified professional now. She had multiple televised magic acts and there were rumors going around that she might bring her act on the road. Apollo wasn’t sure how she did it; his workload in Khura’in had been extensive and exhausting and he came back home each day tired and disheveled. Trucy was a professional in all meanings of the word. Just by looking at her, he wouldn’t guess that she was performing as well as taking on classes. She looked older, sure, but she had an air of elegance about her instead of exhaustion. She had grown her hair out, too, and kept it in a braid with a shiny metal clasp at the end. The resemblance to Thalassa was uncanny.

“I considered it, y’know.” She said, twirling a noodle around her chopsticks absent-mindedly.

“What?”

“Going on tour. That’s what a troupe does. And that’s what Troupe Gramarye did, too.”

“Oh. Well, why didn’t you?”

“Daddy’s completely helpless on his own!” She laughed. “But also a troupe requires multiple people. It’s still just me.”

“Well, did you have any other magicians in mind?”

“Not really. Bonnie, maybe. But I still dunno if Betty would want to, and they’re kind of a pair. Besides, no one makes a better assistant than you, Polly.”

“Gee, thanks.” But even she could tell that that wasn’t serious. And honestly, after what he had been through, he would gladly take getting sawed in half again.

“Also if I were on the road… it’d make sense to have a musical act, right?” She continued. “I considered asking Prosecutor Gavin, or maybe even Lamiroir, but I dunno if either of them would do it.”

Hearing her say Lamiroir’s name sent a shiver down his spine. If she was still calling her that… then she didn’t know, did she?

“When was the last time you saw Lamiroir?”

“Not since Machi’s trial.” She replied sadly. “But she does send me a bouquet before every show, so she must have a little interest, right?”

“I’m sure she’d be more than happy to, Trucy.” Apollo smiled at her, making a mental note to invite her to meet up with Thalassa later.

Apollo waited until they had all gone back to the agency to tell them what had happened to him. He knew he owed them an explanation but figured that wasn’t the best thing to talk about while eating at a noodle stand. When he told them the truth, they waited patiently and listened without interruption, just like Klavier had. And when he was done, he kept his head hung down, too ashamed to make eye contact with anyone else. This was the third time he had had to repeat this story, and with each passing time it seemed more and more pathetic. Especially since he found himself on the couch, seated across from the three people he had figured he would never see again and would never want to see him again. He had been so close to returning to them as planned but he had thrown it all away and worried them to death. There was silence for a moment as his heart pounded in his ears; if they didn't hate him back then, they would certainly hate him now.

It was Mr. Wright who spoke first.

“So,” he said, his voice had a hint of humor to it, like it always did when he was uneasy, “I have a friend who tried to do something similar, once."

“You do?” Apollo asked, still not looking up at him.

“Yeah. It was a while ago. We were only twenty-five back then, I think? God, I’m old. But anyways, something bad happened to him. And the pressure of it all was too much for him so he just… took off. Left a note saying that he “chose death” so no one would come looking and disappeared off the face of the planet. I, uh… I still dunno if he was planning on going through with it or not. Either way, he didn’t get as far as you did. Came back after about a year, he scared the hell out of me, too. I really thought he had done it.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I dunno. I guess I thought it’d make you feel a little better, maybe? I mean… you’re not even looking at us right now, Apollo. Doesn’t take a fancy bracelet to know you’re not feeling great.” He reached forward and patted Apollo’s head, like he had seen him to do Trucy many times in the past. “I guess I just want to say that you’ll be fine. I mean… I'm sure it was rough for him, but my friend has come really far since then. You’ll be all right, even if you’re not right now.”

“Thanks, Mr. Wright.” Apollo said, finally looking up. Mr. Wright was tearing up. He had never really seen him do that before and was going to comment on it when he thought about what Mr. Wright had just told him. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he had been talking about Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth. And when Mr. Wright had heard about Apollo’s disappearance in the wake of Nahyuta’s death, well, it didn’t take much for his worried mind to fill in the blanks of what might have happened to him, especially after what he had gone through all those years ago with Edgeworth. Suddenly Mr. Wright’s calls to the Chief Prosecutor whenever he had a trip planned made way more sense with the sheer amount of times he said be careful, Miles, I love you, stay safe, call me when you get there… Apollo felt guilty for reigniting that worry, especially since he had actually been serious. “And… I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“Eh, it’s my job to worry.” Mr. Wright laughed, as did Apollo, but Athena didn’t look very convinced. She seemed to be deep in thought as she listened which Apollo knew to mean that she was listening to his feelings instead of his words.

“You still feel uneasy.” She finally said. “I can hear it.”

“I know.”

“Are you still worried that something might happen to us? Because of you?”

“Yeah.” He said, averting his gaze away. Saying it out loud to her made it seem even sillier.

“Well, I can’t make that worry go away overnight, but… chin up, Apollo, you’ve got nothing to worry about. I mean… you’ve never done anything to hurt any of us.”

“I punched Mr. Wright.” Mr. Wright just shrugged. “I accused you of murder, Athena.”

“Yeah, well, if you hadn’t done that, Simon wouldn’t have been cleared of his charges. So, no hard feelings.”

“But-”

“No offense, but why are you so determined to make yourself the bad guy here? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Well…”

“Listen. When something bad happens, it’s natural for people to find something to blame it on and lash out. So when there’s no one to blame… people tend to blame themselves. I guess what I’m trying to say is that sometimes bad things happen and there’s no reason for them. Natural disasters, accidents, illness, that kind of thing… When that happens, the best we can do is mourn, cry when we need to and ultimately… move on.”

Apollo laughed.

“What is it?”

“You sound like Nahyuta.”

“Oh shit, do I?” She looked disgusted, then immediately backtracked. “No offense!”

“It’s ok, I know how insufferable he acted towards you during the trial with Prosecutor Blackquill. But that moving on thing? Yeah, he said that a lot.”

“And it’s not bad advice, no matter how obnoxiously he said it. Anyways, he probably wouldn’t want you blaming yourself for all of this.”

“I know.”

“Well, knowing that is a step in the right direction, at least. But if you need any more help, I could give you a quick therapy session.”

“Eh, not right now.” He didn’t want to do that in front of Trucy and Mr. Wright. He was also tempted to say that he’d rather see a professional, but if the shiny framed degree that sat on the wall behind her desk was any indication, she already was, and had been for a long, long time. God, Athena was still so young. It made him wonder what the hell he had been doing with his own life.

No, he shouldn’t dwell on it like that. He remembered dwelling on something similar in the past, thinking Klavier was far too accomplished to even think about dating someone like him. Back then, Clay had reminded him of all the things he had lived through and accomplished and it had made him feel much better. Besides, Klavier did care about him, despite how simple he thought he was. As did Athena, if her worried look was any indication.

“Thanks, Athena.”

Trucy, who had been silent this whole time, cleared her throat and stared at him intently.

“Polly?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m a professional, you know.”

“I know.”

“A professional wouldn’t let themselves get crushed by a prop, no matter who made it.”

“I know.”

“…Hey, do you remember when I snuck into Edgey’s suitcase so I could come to Khura’in with everyone?”

“Thank god you’re not small enough to do that anymore.” Mr. Wright said.

“I’m flexible, daddy, I can still do it if I want to.” Trucy argued. “Anyways, I watched the entire trial from the gallery, and it was amazing! I mean, you took down a corrupt government all on your own!”

“Mr. Wright was there-”

“No, I agree with her; that was mostly you.” Mr. Wright added.

“Yeah! You overthrew a terrible government and made it better. You got me a not guilty verdict and saved daddy’s agency. You’re the reason he got his badge back in the first place! I don’t understand how you could possibly think that you’re bad when you’ve done so much good for everyone!”

You’re bad luck, he thought, as Trucy strolled over to him, and gave him a tight hug, burying his face in the silky material of her cape. He didn’t even mind that her diamond brooch was digging into his cheek.

Nothing good ever happens when you’re around, he thought, as Athena joined in the hug, her arm wrapped tightly on his side, squeezing him a little too firm but reassuring nonetheless.

No one wants you; not even your parents, he thought, as Mr. Wright stood behind the couch, placed a hand on his shoulder as well as Trucy’s and stroked them, gently, like a parent or mentor would.

“We love you, Polly.”

Nahyuta’s young, childish voice faded away at her words and he smiled against the embrace, knowing that he was home.

As the months passed, Apollo found himself finally returning to normality.

Just as promised, Mr. Wright gave Apollo his job back. He and Athena told him he could take it slow but honestly, after nearly a year of doing absolutely nothing, he wanted to bury himself in work. He was good at being an attorney, he liked it, and the last thing he wanted now was more pity from those he loved. After a month he had already taken on two cases (which for the agency was nothing short of a miracle), and was happy to find that he hadn’t lost his touch. When was the last time he had served in court? It felt like it had been ages ago. It was probably that time he had to defend Datz of a misdemeanor which, to be fair, he had committed plenty of. But this time he really hadn’t done it, and Apollo’s bracelet didn’t say otherwise. Honestly, he missed serving in court, and he soon found that he missed the court system back here far more than he did in Khura’in. Here there were no confusing séances to pick through and while the crowd’s attitude had gotten better, everyone was more predisposed to hate him Khura’in. Back home, it was a little more relaxed. Especially when he had Mr. Wright, Trucy, or Athena by his side as co-counsel. Back in Khura’in, he had had no one. Being the only defense attorney for quite some time, he often showed up to court alone. Occasionally, Datz joined him. But… he really wasn’t that helpful, and often did something that got him thrown out before the cross examinations even began. Ahlbi had volunteered to be his assistant quite a few times as well but Apollo really didn’t want to bring someone so young with him along during particularly grisly investigations.

When he returned to the courtroom, he was surprised by just how many people seemed to have missed him. During his first case against him, Prosecutor Blackquill had actually said it was nice to see him again. And when he found himself investigating alongside Ema again, she had bought him his very own bag of snackoos, though that didn’t stop her from throwing them at him. Even the judge had asked him where he had gone, which was the most shocking of all.

People missed him outside of work, too. The Kitaki family sent the agency a huge platter of cookies. Vera Misham had come to wish him well and had even drawn a sketch of him; and this time it was more than just the top of his hair. Mr. Starbuck had invited him to hang out at the space center, but he had to decline; he really didn’t want to go back there since what had happened to Clay, but the sentiment was still nice.

He had lots of people in his life now – acquaintances and friends and family that all seemed to care quite a deal about him and cherished his presence. It couldn’t make all of the negative intrusive thoughts go away, but he found it was much easier to tell Nahyuta’s young voice to shut up now.

He had Klavier, too, and with each passing day he felt more and more ridiculous for thinking he had hated him.

To say that Klavier was enamored with him was an understatement. He doted upon him relentlessly, from making him breakfast each morning after Apollo finally managed to get him out of bed (in a minute, do you really need to scream this early?) to getting gifts for him at random (why not, Apollo, do I need a reason to buy the man I love a sweater?), to writing cheesy love songs for him (I spent the past four years writing singles about loneliness, Herr Forehead, let me have this, ja?) to giving him a kiss on the forehead every night before they went to bed (sleep well, schatzi).

Apollo liked dating Klavier. Honestly, he wasn’t sure what to expect out of a relationship with him. It wasn’t all that different from being his friend back when the two of them hung out frequently back in 2025. They went out together, held hands and stayed up late watching movies or simply just talking the night away, making up for all the lost time they had spent apart. Really the only difference was that they were more affectionate and lived together now. He liked it. It was nice having a place to go home to every night that was warm and inviting, having someone to laugh with and talk to and hold when was upset, or overjoyed… it was nice.

It reminded him of that one-day romance he had with Clay. That could have blossomed into something more and his heart ached when he thought about it, but… no. It had been over four years now, and he should move on, like Athena said he should and like Nahyuta had always been preaching. He was with Klavier now. He tried to think about that whenever he got lost in thoughts of the past. He was with Klavier now. He was with Klavier Gavin, the child prodigy rock star who cared more about the courtroom, the benevolent angel in the rather harsh prosecutor’s office, the man who had given up his rock star lifestyle, his best friend and even his brother all for him. He was the first person he had ever saved. He was the first person he had ever done right by and he didn’t even know it; he just thought he was doing his job. But the fact still remained that he had saved him. He saved him from living life in fear, keeping a secret that he couldn’t tell anyone – that no one would believe – all the while hiding it beneath feigned confidence and glimmer.

Knowing that made him feel better when he awoke from nightmares he couldn’t quite remember but were frequent enough that he could probably guess what had happened. Sometimes he’d unintentionally wake up Klavier. He hated when that happened; Klavier didn’t get enough sleep as is. Klavier was never mad, however. Just worried. He’d pull him closer, and stroke his hair soothingly and whisper, tired but sweetly, Apollo, are you all right? You’re shaking; do you want to tell me about it? Shhh, shhh, it’s okay. I’m right here, I love you… until Apollo felt drowsy and dozed off once again.

Sometimes he was quiet enough that he wouldn’t disturb Klavier. He’d wake up, his heart pounding and his mind reeling, only to find that he wasn’t drowning in a river or caught in an explosion or freezing in a graveyard or utterly alone with child Nahyuta screaming at him. He’d soon realize that he was back home in Los Angeles and he was in Klavier’s apartment (our apartment, Herr Forehead ) and the curtains were drawn so he could see the glittering city lights painting the horizon and his head was resting on Klavier’s chest as he slept away and if he shut his eyes and focused he could hear Klavier’s heartbeat and yes, he was here right now, he was real, this was all real, he loves him and he's home.

And Nahyuta was wrong.

Apollo spent quite a bit of time with his family, too. The day after he returned to the agency, he invited Thalassa over to talk with Trucy. Without her veil on, Trucy recognized her in a heartbeat and ran to her arms so quickly that her hat flew off. Trucy, sweet Trucy, she wasn’t mad at all that Thalassa had been gone for so long. She was just thankful that she survived the accident all those years ago and was back in her life. She had absolutely no idea about Apollo, though. She would have never guessed that she had a brother, let alone that she was already so close to him. When she found out the truth she nearly tackled him in an embrace. Not that he could blame her. Both of them had spent a majority of their lives thinking that they had been abandoned. And while Trucy loved her adoptive father greatly, it was nice to know that she had been wrong.

The three of them spent a great deal of time together. On Trucy’s twenty-first birthday, they had all gotten drinks together. Unsurprisingly, Trucy could hold her liquor better than he could. While Thalassa wasn’t too fond of the magic scene anymore, she did help Apollo set up props for Trucy’s many shows and made it her business to show up to each and every once of them. She seemed thrilled to watch Trucy preform on her own, without the oppressive rules of the troupe on her shoulders. She also followed Apollo’s cases closely, and would treat him to ice cream whenever he got his client a not guilty verdict. The things they all did together were... mundane, really. They were typical, normal… and Apollo cherished every moment of it. Getting ice cream with his mother as a treat for a job well done, helping her set up his sister’s big show, simply talking with the two of them… it was more than he could have ever imagined. This was the normality he had been dreaming of when he was five years old and living in frightened hiding with Nahyuta and Dhurke. This was the normality that seemed so out of reach when he saw classmates making their moms mother’s day cards when he had moved to the U.S. and had no one. It was the normality he had accepted he would never have by the time he turned his back on Dhurke and Khura’in and everything and tried to focus on work. And now that he finally had it he embraced it with all he had. Even something as simple as running to the store to get his mother a gallon of milk or helping her cover one of Trucy’s props in glitter while she practiced were events he held dear to his heart.

Thalassa would often hang out at the agency, too. Mr. Wright didn’t mind, seeing how they were already friends and it wasn’t like they got that many visitors anyways. Athena seemed to like her a lot too, and just as she had with Klavier, she asked Thalassa for an autograph despite never hearing any of her music before.

Thalassa was hanging out on one of the agency’s couches, flipping through one of the many scrapbooks Trucy had made when she abruptly asked Apollo:

“Apollo, what’s your favorite kind of cake?”

It had been nearly four months since his return to the Agency and he had been filing away evidence from old cases that had been piling up and he didn’t really need anymore, and he wasn’t paying that much attention to the conversation at hand so when she said it, it certainly caught him off guard.

“Uh… I don’t know. I’m not that picky.” He replied.

“Oh, come on. You have to have some kind of preference. Vanilla? Chocolate? Carrot?”

“Carrot cake’s disgusting.” He said, shoving the last of the evidence into a drawer he determined he’d clean out later. “I guess I like vanilla. Red velvet’s pretty good, too.”

“Just like your suit.” Athena laughed from her spot across the room.

“Your favorite is yellow cake so I really don’t want to hear it.”

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes and stuck her feet on her desk in defiance.

“Why do you ask, anyways?”

“Did you forget? Sweet pea, your birthday’s next week.”

He gaped at her.

“It… it is?”

“Of course it is!” She seemed to notice how perplexed Apollo looked and paused. “Did you not know your own birthday?”

“No. I mean… Jove never told Dhurke when it was, so I’ve had no clue.”

“What did you do for the past twenty-seven years, then?”

“Dhurke didn’t have a lot to give, so he just celebrated my birthday at the same time as Nahyuta’s, which was January eighteenth. It made it easy to remember how old I was because if January passed then I was a year older.”

“You poor thing… your birthday is April nineteenth.”

“You sure?”

“Of course I’m sure! I know I’ve had memory issues but I will never forget my own son’s birthday.”

“Sorry mom. Still… April nineteenth…” Apollo repeated to himself. “So, Clay was right. I’m an Aries, then.” Well, technically he was an Aries-Taurus cusp, but he didn’t want to bore them with his astrology knowledge.

“I guess?” Thalassa replied. “I was never big on astrology.”

“Clay was, that’s why I know so much about it. He always tried to guess when my actual birthday was based on the way I acted. He narrowed it down to Aries or Virgo but of course we were never sure. Either way he said there’s no way I could be a Capricorn like Nahyuta.”

“Why not?”

“He said I wasn’t mean enough. That’s also why he ruled out Scorpio and Gemini too.”

“Simon’s a Scorpio…” Athena muttered.

“Don’t tell him I said that, then.”

“Anyways,” Thalassa interjected, “I think I’ll be making red velvet, then. If you happen to think of a gift you’d want, or something you’d like to do, please tell me.”

“Something to do? I’m a little old for a birthday party, don’t you think?”

“Apollo.” She glared at him. “I only got to celebrate your very first birthday. I’ll be damned if I don’t do something special for you to make up for it. Understood?”

“Yeah, mom. I’ll, uh… think of something.”

As the week dragged on Apollo tried to think of what he could possibly want, but nothing was really coming to him. Klavier had essentially bought him a new wardrobe on New Year’s and he was still trying to get through all the chocolate he had given him for Valentine’s Day. When he was a little kid and living with Dhurke and Nahyuta he had learned to live on very little so he tended not to ask for much, even after he had moved back to the U.S.

But as for what to do he had even less ideas. What did someone even do for their birthday? He remembered Clay asked to go to the planetarium for his thirteenth birthday. For his fifteenth he had asked if he could go to space camp over the summer. Whenever Apollo celebrated his birthday as a kid he didn’t really ask for anything super extravagant. He’d ask to go see a movie if something good was playing, simple things like that. But Thalassa seemed determined to do something wonderful for him, so he’d really need to think of something.

Honestly, all he really wanted was to spend it with the people he loved. There were so many occasions throughout his life where he had been isolated and alone so now that he had people with him, he wanted to cherish every moment he could with them. His mother and sister, his friends at the Agency, his wonderful boyfriend… They could be doing pretty much anything and he’d be satisfied so long as it was with them. Maybe they could just go to dinner together. He remembered there was this one sushi place that he had gone to for Clay’s twentieth birthday that was pretty good.

Clay…

As usual his mood dampened when he thought of his late first boyfriend. He had people now; he knew that, and he wasn’t going to take that for granted ever again. But that didn’t change the bitter feeling he got when he remembered just how many people had been taken so unfairly, people that he would never see again. He had made peace with Grandpa, and eventually Dhurke, but Clay? Nahyuta? Those were both so wretchedly unfair. That was something he wanted, he supposed. To see either of them again, to talk to them one last time, to apologize for what had happened, to have a chance to actually say goodbye…

Honestly, he couldn’t think of anything he’d want more.

On Apollo’s twenty-eighth birthday, he got up early, incredibly early; early enough that the sun hadn’t risen yet and the moon was only just beginning to sink down the skyline. He did it just to be careful. Knowing Klavier he’d want to do something sweet and wake him up with a kiss or a brand new song or something romantic like that. Apollo slid out of Klavier’s arms as gently as he could and gave him a soft kiss on the forehead. Maybe next year, Klav.

He headed out, leaving a note on the bedside table so Klavier didn’t freak out and think he ran away again. Even if he did panic, which was likely, he had already told his mother and sister what he’d be doing today and they’d be sure to give him the heads up. He got on the train just as the sun began to rise.

It had been years since he had last been here in Kurain Village. Now that he thought about it, the last time had been with Dhurke, when Datz had been accused of stealing the Founder’s Orb, then of murdering the archeologist who had it. It was nice to be coming here under better circumstances. He was pretty sure today would go peacefully without him nearly drowning or being summoned to court seemingly out of nowhere by his boss. 

Maya Fey was up early, as she always was, and based on her soaking appearance she had spent the morning standing under a waterfall. Pearls had told him about this particular method of training, and honestly he couldn’t think of anything that sounded more unpleasant. But she was still chipper as ever when she saw him and gave him a tight hug, seemingly ignorant to the fact that her clothes were waterlogged and she was freezing to the touch.

“Good morning, Apollo!” She exclaimed, as she parted from the hug.

“Good morning, Ms. Fey.”

“Nah, don’t do that. Call me Maya. We’re friends, right?”

“I-I guess so.” Would they be? The first time he had met her it was after she had been channeling his dead adoptive father for nearly a week and they hadn’t really gotten to know each other all that well seeing how he had stayed in Khura’in for good after that. But… she was incredibly friendly, and Mr. Wright had told him that she could befriend anyone, so he supposed they were friends. Especially since she was willing to do such a huge favor for him.

She changed into a proper robe and told him to meet her in the Kurain channeling chamber. Apollo knew exactly where it was; back when he was in college and idolized Mr. Wright, he had read about the closed-room case in which the victim seemed to have been murdered by the channeled spirit. Through Mr. Wright’s smart deductions and with a little help from his friends, he had been able to find the truth, as usual. Either way it was a little eerie sitting in this room, right where that incident had occurred. He found himself checking behind the folding screen just in case.

“So,” she said, kneeling across for him, “you requested my services, correct?”

“U-uh, yeah.” He replied. “If it’s too much trouble, you don’t have to-”

“It’s no trouble at all. I’m the head of Kurain village; if it was hard for me now then I’d be in huge trouble.”

“I guess that’s true.”

“Anyways, what’s the occasion?”

“Occasion?”

“Yeah people… usually have a reason for channeling someone.”

“Right. Well. Okay. So, this is going to sound really selfish, but it’s my birthday and I-”

“Happy birthday!” She interrupted.

“Thanks. Anyways I-”

“How old are you turning?”

“Twenty-eight.” He paused, just to make sure she had no more interruptions. She seemed satisfied. “Anyways, I know this sounds weird, but… well… I dunno how much Mr. Wright has told you about me, but… there’s a lot of people I’ve lost. People who I really cared about and never got to say goodbye to. So… I guess I’m asking…”

“It’s okay, Apollo, I understand.”

“Y-you do?”

“Yes. This isn’t the first request I’ve had like this. And… the first time Pearls channeled Mia… I totally cried. I didn’t realize how much I had to say to her until she was gone, y’know?” She smiled sadly. “It’s not a selfish request.”

“If you say so.”

“I mean it. The first proper channeling request I ever had the guy wanted a victim of a car accident to come back and talk about how negligent she was in writing so he wouldn’t be in trouble anymore. She was his old employee and he didn’t care that it was him working her so hard that caused it all! That’s selfish. Plus, he was really rude.”

“Wow, that is pretty bad.” Apollo replied, not wanting to admit that he had poured over that case religiously while in college.

“Anyways, who will I be channeling today?”

“Well actually… there’s three people. I-if that’s too much, then-”

“Apollo, it’s fine. Relax.”

“Okay, well. There’s one person I wanted to spend the whole day with. Well, not the whole day. I’d have you back in time for dinner and cake with Mr. Wright and everyone, of course. That’s not too much, is it?”

“As if.” She laughed. “I channeled Dhurke for what? Four days and from what I heard from Nick he did all sorts of things while I was gone. As long as you don’t plan on swimming out to the ocean and back, I think I’ll be okay.”

“I’m sure he won’t. At least, I hope he won’t.”

“Good. Also this person is going to have to live with wearing my robes. Unless…”

“I brought clothes for him.”

“Do I get to keep them once you’re done?”

“I mean…” He thought about the mustard colored turtleneck packed away in his backpack. “If you really want to?”

“All right!” She clapped her hands together. “Let’s get started then!”

He gave her the three photographs with each person’s name written on the back, and she began.

The channeling process never ceased to amaze him. In mere moments she vanished entirely and the only trace of Maya Fey was her purple robes and her signature hairstyle; otherwise she looked entirely different. The person before him was nearly a foot taller than her and he stretched out her clothes quite a bit. Along with that, Apollo couldn’t ignore the tattoo that suddenly appeared on her palm. Soft blue eyes had been replaced with piercing sea-green ones and they stared at him intently. Apollo almost wanted to laugh at how natural Nahyuta seemed to look in Maya’s hairstyle but he held his tongue as he stared back at his deceased foster brother nervously.

“...I’m being channeled.” It wasn’t a question. Apollo remembered during Dhurke’s trial being told that channeled spirits’ memories were cut off from the moment they die. The last thing Nahyuta would have remembered was struggling to keep Apollo alive while being swept down a river yet here he was, calm as always, awaking from that violent memory and seemingly accepting his death without any reaction.

“Y-yeah, you are.” Apollo finally said. “What do you remember?”

“There was an earthquake. You got caught in a landslide and fell into the river. I went after you, and…” Nahyuta cringed for a moment as he idly reached up to stroke the back of his head. “Something struck me…”

“It was a rock. We were able to figure that out eventually in court.”

“Court? Why was this being discussed in court?”

“Well… Everyone sort of thought I murdered you.”

“…What?” He actually looked surprised.

“I mean, I can’t blame them. You had a gash in your head, and I was the only one with you. So…”

“So they sent someone who should have been in the hospital to the detention center.”

“I wasn’t hurt that bad.”

“Hm.” Nahyuta clearly didn’t believe that, and his eyes darted to Apollo’s wrist. It was still in a cast, but he’d be getting it removed in about a week or so. Everyone at the agency had signed it, though Trucy’s signature was the biggest and she had drawn Mr. Hat along with it. Apollo folded his arms to conceal it.

“Like I said, I was fine, and-”

“You were not fine!” Nahyuta interrupted. “You almost drowned! If I hadn’t gone in that day you would have…”

There was a heavy silence for a moment. Nahyuta rarely got this worked up. Was he really that worried about him? Why in the world would he be?

“Apollo.” He finally said. “Why exactly am I being channeled? If not to find out what happened to me, then why?”

“Well… this is going to sound really selfish but… I wanted to talk to you one last time.”

“That is selfish. Spirits are meant to stay at rest unless desperately needed by the realm of the living.”

Typical Nahyuta. Apollo couldn’t think of anyone who could still be so cold after being brought back from the dead.

“Nahyuta, please. I just… I wanted to apologize to you.”

“For what?”

“For what?” Apollo repeated, growing frustrated. “For this! For… for everything! I’ve caused you nothing but trouble ever since we were kids! And if I hadn’t fallen into the river… if you hadn’t gone in after me… you’d still be alive!”

“Do you really think it’d be better that way?”

“Yes! Of course it would be! You mean so much to your family, and Datz, and to the people of Khura’in! You’re the reason it’s gotten so much better there! And if you had lived instead of me, you would have-”

“I would have been a failure.”

“H-huh?”

“Listen, I spent a great deal of my life living under Ga’ran’s thumb, acting cruelly, treating people horribly, going against all I believed in just to keep my sister safe. I’d do anything to keep her safe. What sort of brother would I be if I didn’t do the same for you?”

“What? But… no, that doesn’t make any sense. I mean… You were always so fed up with me! You were always so insistent on reminding people we weren’t actually related. Not to mention calling me putrid this and sinner that…”

“It’s hard to change a personality I’ve built up for over a decade.”

“Still! I thought you only kept me around because of Dhurke.”

“Of course not. Apollo, I invited you to stay with me because you’re family, too. I’m sorry… I should have made that more clear.”

Apollo’s bracelet showed no reaction. He was serious, just as he always was.

“It’s… okay. I mean, I’m not even your real brother, so you don’t have to-”

Nahyuta did something he had never done before and hugged him.

“You’re real enough for me.”

Apollo just sat there in Nahyuta’s arms for a moment. Nahyuta, all things considered, wasn’t all that affectionate. Proper and conservative, the most Apollo had seen him do was hold Amara's hand at Dhurke’s funeral and tolerate hugs from Rayfa every now and again. Now that he thought about it, Nahyuta hadn’t even hugged him when he left for America as an eight year old. Apollo wasn’t going to take this for granted and hugged him back.

“I’m so thankful you’re all right.” Nahyuta finally said when he pulled away. "When I died, I wasn’t certain if I actually made it to the shore…” Nahyuta’s hand rested on Apollo’s cast for a moment. “I just wish I could have done more.”

“It’s fine. I mean, I’m fine, so-”

“How long has it been?” Nahyuta asked. “Since I…”

“A little over a year. It’s April now. Today’s… my birthday. My actual one.” Apollo added.

“How in the world did you find that out?”

“Well…” He smiled. “You’ll never believe it, but I actually found my mother.”

Apollo told him about what had transpired in the past year, how he had been accused of Nahyuta’s murder and, seeing how the population of Khura’in hated him and there was nothing left for him, he ran away. But back in the U.S., just when he thought there was no escaping the pit of despair he had fallen into, he found hope. He had friends, a lovely boyfriend, and of course he had family now; a wonderful mother he thought had given up on him, and a sister he never even knew he had.

“I guess you were right after all.” Apollo said. “About my life being balanced, or whatever. I just wish it hadn’t taken losing you to find them.”

“Do you still think it’s your fault?”

“Honestly? A little.”

“Hm.” He shook his head. “You need to let go, and move on.”

“I know. And I’m trying to. I just wanted to apologize, and actually get a chance to say goodbye.”

“…Um…” Nahyuta looked a little hesitant for some reason. "Since I’m here, can I ask one request of you?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“I don’t expect you to return to Khura’in. Your family is here now, and it was selfish of me to take that away from you.”

“Eh, not really. I mean, I didn’t even know they were here either.”

“Regardless, it’s clear that this is where you belong. But… would you be willing to visit Khura'in one last time? In my room back at the temple, there’s a chest in the closet. Do you know if it’s been opened?”

“Um…" Of all the things he expected Nahyuta to ask, this wasn't one of them. "No, I don’t think so? I haven’t been there in nearly a year, but I remember Rayfa was pretty adamant about preserving your room just the way it was.”

“All right. I want you to open it. The key is hidden in a vase. There’s a lot of things in there, but there should be a cloak folded up near the top. I want you to give it to Rayfa. It's... something I made. It was supposed to be a present for her birthday but I died just before I could give it to her. Can you do that for me?”

“Sure, Nahyuta. I promise.”

“All right.” He sighed. “Well, I’ve spent enough time here. I should go.” Despite that, he looked hesitant about leaving.

“What is it?”

“May I ask one more thing?”

“Anything.”

“Tell Rayfa I love her. Tell my mother, too.”

“I’ll let them know, I swear.”

“Thank you. Also, Apollo?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t regret saving you, not even in the slightest. So I hope you don’t regret being saved, either.”

“I’m getting there.” Apollo said firmly.

“Good. And I’m sorry that all the things I said about you when I was little haunted you for so long. But I’m glad I was wrong about you.”

“That… means a lot to me, actually. Thank you, Nahyuta.” He grabbed Nahyuta’s hand and squeezed it tight. “And… goodbye.”

“Goodbye, brother.”

Apollo kept his brother’s hand in his until the tattoo faded from Maya’s palm entirely.

Maya’s hair was incredibly long yet it still seemed lacking in place of Clay’s huge mop of hair. But Apollo didn’t get to laugh at how strange his best friend looked in the getup when he noticed just how frightened he was. The moment he was channeled Clay gasped and grabbed at his own chest, trying to put pressure on a wound that wasn’t there anymore. Apollo tried to think about how Clay had died as little as possible, but spirits’ memories were cut off at death, he knew, and the last thing Clay would have remembered was being stabbed in cold blood and bleeding out on the space center floor. Clay didn’t notice Apollo for a moment as he clutched at Maya’s robe, seemingly puzzled as to where the knife and the blood had gone.

“Clay… Clay…!” Apollo grabbed ahold of his shoulders in an attempt to calm him. “Look at me, please…” He was shaking, and while he did look up at Apollo, his eyes were wide and fearful.

“A-apollo?” He stammered. “Where… where am I? What happened? I… I don’t understand…”

“Shh… it’s all right.” Apollo said, pulling his friend into a gentle hug. “It’s okay. You’re… fine, Clay.”

Apollo couldn’t ignore the tightening of his bracelet when he said it, but it broke his heart to see Clay like this. 

“I’m fine…” Clay muttered against his shoulder. “I-I’m fine…” Apollo couldn’t bring himself to lie to his friend again so he just rubbed his back gently until he slowly stopped shaking and grew a little less pale.

“Are you feeling better?” Apollo finally asked, pulling away.

“Y-yeah… I am.” Clay replied. “I’m sorry, I dunno what happened, I could’ve sworn that I…” He locked eyes with him again but it seemed like the first time he actually looked at him. “Hey, did something happen to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you look… different.” Clay reached forward and cupped his face in his hand. Apollo was still completely amazed by Maya’s ability to channel as he could feel the scar on Clay’s palm against his cheek.

“D-do I?”

“Mm-hmm. You look… older, I guess?”

“Really?” Nahyuta hadn’t said anything. But he supposed it had only been a year for him while for Clay it had been five. Looking up at him now made that gap in time all the more prominent. Clay was… young. It really hadn’t hit Apollo back then, when he was twenty-three as well, just how young Clay was. But he was. He was young; he had been taken far too soon, and as Apollo stared at him now he realized that he would forever be stuck in that youth while Apollo, and the rest of the world, got to move forward.

Apollo bit his lip as tears began to well up in his eyes. He was happy to see Clay again. Really, he was. But… it was still so unfair.

“H-hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Apollo replied, shaking his head quickly. “I’m just really happy to see you.”

“That’s not really something to cry over. I mean, we saw each other just this morning!” That just made the tears spill down Apollo’s cheeks. “H-hey, baby-”

And that’s it; Apollo let out a sob because now he knew what kind of pet name Clay would’ve used with him and the time they had spent together as a couple was so short that he hadn’t even gotten the chance to. Clay was clearly confused, but worried above all else and hugged him again, tight and reassuring like he always did whenever Apollo got upset while they were growing up.

God, he missed it.

“I’m sorry…” Apollo finally choked out once he finally managed to compose himself.

“It’s fine. Are you feeling better?”

Apollo couldn’t believe that even while deceased Clay would still worry over him.

“I’m fine, I swear.”

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine, okay?"

“Well... okay." There was a pause. "Um... can you tell me what’s going on, exactly? Like… where are we? And why am I in a dress?”

“So you finally noticed. Looks good on you, by the way.” Apollo chuckled.

“It would if it actually matched my visor…” He reached up to touch said visor but found nothing. “Where is it anyways? And what’s... all this?” He asked, running his hand through Maya’s long straight hair.

“Clay…” How the hell was he supposed to explain something like this to someone like him? Nahyuta had been easy; he lived in a kingdom that chose its rulers based on the ability to channel. This was going to sound like a fairy tale to Clay. “Do you remember, back in college, when I first heard about Mr. Wright?”

“Of course.” Clay laughed. “You’d go on and on about all his cases and talk about how cool he was.”

“Anyways,” Apollo replied, a little embarrassed, “do you remember the case revolving around the murder of Misty Fey?”

“Okay so don’t hate me, but I wasn’t always paying total attention when you talked about Mr. Wright. Besides, I was usually working on homework too, and that was like three years ago, so…”

Eight years ago, Apollo thought bitterly.

“It’s fine. Anyways, that case was a really weird one because. Well. There were like four instances of spirit channeling throughout the duration of that trial.”

“Oh, wait, I remember that! Some of Mr. Wright’s friends were psychics who could wake up the dead, and be, like, possessed by them, right? ”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Did you ever discover if that was true or not?”

“Yeah.” Apollo placed his hand on Clay’s. “It is true.”

Clay looked excited, and like he was going to ask Apollo to tell him more, but he paused when he noticed Apollo’s somber expression.

“…Ah.” Clay said, gently. “I… didn’t make it out of the space station, did I?”

“No, you didn’t.”

“So… being stabbed… that had all been real…” Clay nervously reached up to once again touch the place where he had been stabbed.

“Clay, I’m sorry. I know this must be so hard to-”

“What happened to Mr. Starbuck? He was in the same room and he was unconscious! Was he-”

“He’s fine. The killer framed him for your murder but I was able to prove his innocence.”

“You were his lawyer?! Apollo, why would you do that?!”

“Because I knew he was innocent. Besides, I had to find out what happened to you-”

“You shouldn’t have put yourself through something like that! God, Apollo, that must have been so horrible for you!”

“It’s not that big of a deal.” He lied. “Besides, I wasn’t even the one to solve your murder. Mr. Wright took over after I was hospitalized-”

“You were hospitalized?! For what?!” He placed his hand on Apollo’s wrist nervously. “Is that what this is?!”

“No, no, don’t worry about it, this is something else.” Apollo said, quickly pulling his arm away. “The killer set off a bomb during your trial to try and cover up what had happened, and I got caught up in it.” Clay looked absolutely mortified. “I-it’s fine, though. I recovered completely, I’m fine, so-”

“How long?” Clay interrupted. “How long have I been gone?”

“It’ll be five years this December.”

“Oh… god.” Clay shuddered, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Clay…” He was beginning to feel tremendously guilty. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought him back if all he was going to do was upset him. “I can have Maya let you rest again, if this is too much-”

“No!” He exclaimed. “No, Apollo. I’m here now so please tell me everything that’s happened to you, okay? Please!”

“All right.”

Apollo told him about everything that had happened to him during the five years since Clay had died. It was easier telling him about what had happened; with Nahyuta, he always had to be cautious and pick his words wisely or else he’d get a spiel on how the Holy Mother does things for a reason and feeling sorry for himself would just hold him back, that kind of thing. With Clay he could be completely honest. They had shared more than enough secrets growing up to know better than to hold anything back. But he still felt a twinge of guilt at Clay’s heartbroken expression when he had admitted to nearly letting himself die on his grave.

“Apollo…” Clay sniffled, after Apollo was done speaking, “I’m so sorry. I should have been there for you.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. It wasn’t your fault-”

“I should have protected you!”

“Clay…” Apollo took his hands and rubbed gentle circles upon them. “You have protected me. I wouldn’t even be here now if it weren’t for you, remember? You were always there for me when something bad happened. You treated me to dinner after my disaster of a first case. And when I screwed it up with Klav you were able to cheer me up. You always did so much for me.”

“B-but… You went through so much since I…”

“I know. But I made it through, didn’t I? And I’m fine now. I got my job back, Klavier and I have been together for a couple months now, I even found my actual family! I’ll be all right.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well… I can’t know for sure, really. But I want to believe I will. Nahyuta used to say that life is balanced and with every bad thing something good will happen to even it out.”

“With how much bad you’ve been through you better have nothing but good for the rest of your life.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

“Still… I wish I could have been there with you.”

“You were, kinda. I… kept your jacket. And I wore it whenever I was at my lowest. I guess it kinda made me feel like you were there. Like you were hugging me, or something?”

Clay just laughed.

“Don’t laugh!” Apollo snapped.

“I’m sorry it’s just… that’s cute.” He flicked Apollo’s forehead. “You’re cute.”

“Whatever. I’d like to apologize, though. I know how much that coat meant to you but I kinda… ruined it, so I don’t wear it much anymore.”

“Ruined?”

“Well… yeah. It got all tattered from the explosion. And that half a year when I came back from Khura’in I wasn’t super worried about doing laundry. Besides, it upsets Klav when he sees it.”

“It does?”

“Yeah. He doesn’t say it does, but I can tell.” Apollo replied, tapping his bracelet. “I think it’s because that’s what he found me in at the graveyard.”

“Please don’t ever do that again.”

“I won’t.”

His bracelet didn’t move.

“Still… Klavier, huh?”

“Yeah… never thought that would happen.”

“No, I could tell he had a thing for you. I mean, who wouldn’t?”

“Shut up.” Apollo laughed, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

“He’s treating you well, right?” Clay looked hesitant.

“He’s wonderful. I wouldn’t be here without him, either. He sorta dotes upon me a lot, too. I offhandedly mentioned once that I like carnations more than roses, so come Valentine’s day he gets me a vase of carnations so big it bumps into me while I work at my desk.” Thinking about Klavier made him smile. “I love him.”

“Well, that’s good. You deserve the best.”

Apollo was about to gush some more but paused when he realized that it might not be a good idea to bring up Klavier around him. When Clay had died, he was Apollo’s boyfriend and he had no reason to believe that that would change anytime soon instead of blossoming into a long, wonderful relationship like they thought it would have. It must have been disappointing at the very least to come back to news like this.

“I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t be talking about this.”

“What? No. It’s fine!” Clay exclaimed.

“You’re not mad?”

“Not really. I’m just a little sad, I guess? Okay yeah, I might be a little jealous. But it’d be kinda fucked up if I expected you to spend your whole life alone because of me. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks.”

“I am a little pissed that you found your mom though.”

“What?” He could tell based on his grin that he wasn’t serious. “Why?”

“Our entire friendship is based around not having moms. Way to ditch me.”

“Hey, it’s because of her that I finally know what my zodiac is.”

“You do?!” Clay exclaimed. “What is it?”

“April nineteenth. I’m an Aries-Taurus cusp.”

“Well, I was really close. I knew there was no way you were a Capricorn.”

“That’s true.” Apollo replied. “Today is my birthday, actually…”

“It is?”

“Yeah. I’m turning twenty-eight.”

“Oh… wow, really?”

“Yeah. We’re old.”

“No, you’re old.”

Apollo couldn’t bring himself to laugh at Clay’s joke.

“Is that why you had me channeled?”

“Yeah. It’s selfish as hell but… I really wanted to see you again.”

”It’s not selfish.”

“Nahyuta said it was.”

“Well no offense but I think Nahyuta’s kind of a jackass.”

“Oh, he’s not that bad. He just gets irritated with me for being too clingy, I guess. Keeps telling me that the only way I can be happy is to ‘let go and move on’.”

“Yeah but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with people. Refusing to get close to anyone and isolating yourself nearly killed you. I think you’re allowed to hold on to people, at least a little.”

“I guess.”

“Besides, I’m glad you called me back. Um… can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“How’s my dad doing?”

“Oh… uh… Honestly I haven’t seen him in years. We… sorta lost contact after your death. We had to identify your body together and uh. I think him seeing me without you… kinda just reminded him that you were gone. Plus I went to Khura’in, so…”

“He cares about you too, you know.”

“Yeah, but I’m not his real son.”

“Still. Could you try to reach out to him again? For me? He lost my mom and me so… I really don’t want him to be alone.”

“I’ll do it.”

“I don’t want you to be alone, either.”

“I’m not. I promise. But, uh, Clay?"

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to say... I'm sorry that we never got to go on that date."

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad I got to see you one last time. I mean, you're not as cool as space, but I'll take it."

"Gee, thanks."

Clay laughed again, but Apollo could tell there was still something bothering him.

"Hey... Apollo?"

“Yeah?”

“When I um... leave again… will I remember any of this? Or will I be right back to when I…”

“You’ll remember this. I’m pretty sure, at least. When Dhurke was channeled like three times during the Inga case he seemed to remember the events of the past couple days.”

“Okay, good. I wanna go remembering something nice this time.” He leaned forward and kissed Apollo on the cheek. “I love you, Apollo.”

Apollo could feel him shaking and said something he should have told him years ago:

“I love you too, Clay.” He reached up and wiped a tear away with his thumb. “And… goodbye.”

Clay looked like he was about to sob again, but instead he just pulled him into a tight hug and didn’t let go until Apollo found himself in Maya’s arms instead.

The man before him was silent. So was Apollo. He had known that this was going to be much harder than Clay or Nahyuta, but now that he was sitting before him, staring at him with a piercing gaze, Apollo’s chords of steel shriveled up. He knew next to nothing about this man. He didn’t know what he’d act like or what he’d say. Would he even like him? What if he didn’t? What if he didn’t even want to be here? But Apollo had people waiting for him at home and he had promised he was going to bring someone special along with him and this man was here right now, so he had to say something.

“Um...” Apollo stammered, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. “So, you might not recognize me, but-”

“Apollo!” Jove exclaimed, rushing forward to pull his son into an embrace. He didn’t stop there; he slowly got to his feet, all the while never letting go of him. Apollo realized that Jove wasn’t really much taller than him, and he could tell that he was struggling quite a bit to hold him up if the vice grip on his ribs was any indication.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Apollo choked out.

“I haven’t gotten to hold you in twenty years; let me have this.”

“Okay.”

Jove couldn’t hold him for long and finally put him back on his feet. Not that it mattered because he quickly hugged him again.

“As if I wouldn’t be able to recognize my own son.” He laughed. “Thank goodness you’re alive! When I died I was so worried that you wouldn’t make it out either.”

“So… you know then? That you’re… uh…”

“There was no way I was making it out of that fire after being hit like that.” Jove replied, rubbing the back of his head. “But you lived, didn’t you? Wow, just look at you!” He grinned and ruffled Apollo’s hair. “My little man’s all grown up.”

“Little man?”

“Yeah. That’s what I used to call you.” Jove was only taller than him by an inch or two. “I guess you’re not so little anymore.”

“Nah, you can call me that if you want. I mean… I’m the shortest member at the agency.”

“Agency?”

“Yeah. I work at a law firm.”

“You’re a lawyer? That’s wonderful, Apollo!”

“It is? I kinda figured you’d want me to be a performer like you and mom.”

“No. Thalassa and I ran away from Troupe Gramarye to ensure that you weren’t forced into that life. You could be a janitor for all I care so long as it was your own choice.”

“Well, I’m glad I’m a lawyer then.”

“I’m just glad you and Thalassa managed to stay together even after I died.”

“Yeah…” Apollo could feel his bracelet tensing up on his wrist. “Look, I’m going to be honest with you; when you died, Dhurke saved me from the fire. And… he wasn’t able to find mom.”

“What?” Jove asked, his wide grin fading. “Then…”

“Dhurke raised me in Khura’in. And mom went home back to Troupe Gramarye, thinking I died.”

“No…”

To say he looked devastated was an understatement.

“She can tell you her side of the story. But… yeah. Dhurke raised me for a while. But then he couldn’t take care of me anymore and wound up going from place to place in the U.S. I, uh, didn’t find out who my mom even was until about three months ago.”

“Oh, Apollo… What happened to you?”

“That’s a really long story, believe me. But there’s a reason why I asked to channel you today. Um… today’s my birthday. You never told Dhurke so… I didn’t know when it really was until I finally met mom and she told me. She said she wanted to do something special since I was never able to celebrate it, I guess. And I realized… that really the only thing I wanted was to spend it with my family. I have my mom now. And my half sister, Trucy, you’ll love her, I just know it! I guess the only thing that was missing was you. I had a lot of people who took care of me over the years, people who I loved greatly, but… I could never bring myself to call any of them my dad. Not when I knew that my real dad was gone, and had died trying to save me. I... um... I really wanted to meet you… dad.” Apollo looked away, feeling embarrassed. He sincerely hoped that what he did today didn’t come off as too immature or needy.

“Happy birthday, son.” Jove smiled. “How old are you turning?”

“Twenty-eight.”

“Oh.” His face fell.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just can’t believe we were apart for that long.” He scratched the back of his head. Apollo supposed that nervous tick was a familial thing. “And, uh… you’re older than me now.”

“I am?”

“Yeah. When I died, I had just barely turned twenty.”

“Oh. I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be sorry. What sort of dad would I be if I was upset that you outlived me? It’s okay.”

“Okay. I just hope calling you back like this wasn’t selfish of me. I mean-”

“Selfish? Ha! I’d give anything to get to know my son.” Jove put his hands on Apollo’s shoulders. “Thanks for giving me that chance.”

The two of them soon headed out; they didn’t want to keep the rest of their family waiting. With the clothes Apollo had brought for him, Jove looked more or less the same; really the only difference was the long black hair he had now courtesy of Maya.

“Hmm…” Jove muttered, looking back at his reflection on the train’s window.

“What is it?”

“Be honest with me kiddo, do you think I look too much like Valant?”

“Uh. No. Why?”

“He had hair like this.”

“He also dressed like a magician and wore canary yellow at all times.”

“True, but… I want Thalassa to know it’s me. And I definitely don’t want to remind her of anyone in that troupe.”

“She’ll know it’s you, I promise.” Jove still didn’t look convinced. “But if it bothers you that much, my sister usually has a hair tie on her.”

“What’s your sister like, anyways?”

“Oh, uh… her name’s Trucy. I met her through work, actually…”

Apollo told Jove all about his life on the train ride back from Kurain Village. For the most part, he tried to keep it happy. Today was supposed to be fun. He didn’t want to call Jove here only to upset him with all the horrible things he had gone through during his absence. He talked about growing up in Khura’in with Dhurke and Nahyuta and living as a rebel. He told him about coming to the U.S. and living with Grandpa and learning English from scratch but still managing to get an A in the subject by the time he finished grade school. Then there was Clay, the greatest friend he could’ve asked for, and they grew up and went to college together and he became a lawyer and then he found Mr. Wright and Trucy and then he met Klavier…

He was thankful that they arrived at the station before he could explain the events of 2027. Honestly, aside from meeting Athena, he wanted to pretend that time in his life hadn’t happened at all. That and he had no idea how he could possibly explain his return home from Khura’in the second time in a positive manner.

As planned, Thalassa and Trucy were at the station waiting for them. Apollo had told them he would be bringing a guest, but he hadn’t said who it would be. Trucy didn’t recognize Jove as he and Apollo walked towards them but the moment he locked eyes with Thalassa he broke into a sprint and embraced her.

“Thalassa!” He exclaimed, holding her tight.

“J-jove?” Thalassa stammered. She cupped his face in her hands so she could get a better look at him.

“It’s me, darling,” he replied, placing his hand on hers, “it’s me.”

“Jove!” She cried, hugging him again.

The two of them just stood there, holding each other tightly, weeping at being reunited after so long. Apollo gave them their space, not wanting to interrupt their reunion. But he couldn’t help but smile as he watched the two of them. After all, seeing his parents together was something he had figured he’d never get the chance to witness.

“Psst, Polly.” Trucy whispered, stepping up beside him. “Who… is that?”

“That’s Jove Justice. He’s my dad. My real one.”

“Oh, I remember him from the trial in Khura’in.” She paused. “I like his hair.”

“That’s not what he usually looks like. Maya’s channeling him, so…”

Before he had the chance to elaborate, his parents approached him and he went silent. They were holding hands.

“Apollo…” Thalassa said, wiping her eyes. “How… How in the world did you…?”

“It’s a long story. Mr. Wright has some friends with the ability to channel… uh, bring back people from the dead for a short period of time. Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Anyways, you told me you wanted to do something special for my birthday, but all I really wanted was to spend a day with my family. I have a lot of people now. And I love them all, but… I guess I just wanted to experience what it’s like to have a normal day out with my sister, and… both of my parents.” He looked away. “Kinda weird, I guess.”

“Oh, sweet pea.” She hugged him. “It’s not weird at all.”

“You gave me the chance to see you and Thalassa again. It’s not weird of you to want to spend time with us.”

“If you say so.”

“Speaking of… what did you want to do today, Apollo?”

“Oh. Uh. I dunno.” Apollo shrugged.

“Polly, are you serious?” Trucy exclaimed. “You went to all this trouble and you have no plans?”

“Well… no. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure if Maya would agree to this, so… uh…”

“The amusement park.” Thalassa said abruptly. “How about we go to the amusement park? I took Trucy there for her sixth birthday.”

“Oooh, right, you did! I remember that!”

“Darling, y’know I don’t do well on roller coasters.” Jove said.

“Then you’ll fit right in with Polly! He’s really scared of heights!”

“Thanks, Trucy.”

“Well, what do you say, Apollo?”

“Sure, sounds fun.”

The four of them headed to the amusement park. Seeing how it was the middle of April, it wasn’t very crowded. But Trucy said that was a good thing; one time, she had gone here during the summer with Mr. Wright, and the wait for the roller coaster had been so long that she had gotten a sunburn on the back of her neck. Now that he thought about it, he had visited this very theme park with Grandpa when he was nine, though he had been too short and too scared to go on most of the bigger rides. He had also gone here a couple times with Clay when they were teenagers, but one time when they were fifteen, Clay had fainted from heat exhaustion and they wound up going home early. Still, he had a lot of nostalgic memories here and it was nice to be coming back here again.

As expected, Apollo didn’t go on many of the bigger rides; it didn’t matter how old he was now, the sight of those tall roller coasters still intimidated the hell out of him. But that was okay, because Jove tended to sit out the bigger rides too and that gave them the chance to just hang out and talk to one another while Trucy and Thalassa eagerly went on the more extreme rides. Not that they sat out for everything. They could handle the teacups and the water ride and the haunted house though Jove couldn’t stop shaking and wouldn’t let go of Thalassa’s arm throughout the entire thing. And of course Trucy forced Apollo to go on the Ferris wheel. It was a miracle he didn’t faint but with his mom’s arm on his shoulder, it made him a bit calmer.

As the day wore on, Apollo couldn’t help but marvel at the sight before him. Currently, Trucy was pointing at a cotton candy stand, begging Thalassa for one. Thalassa and Jove were holding hands, like they had been all day, as they complied. No, not Thalassa and Jove. Mom and Dad. These were his parents standing before him, urging Trucy on as she debated between whether she wanted pink, purple or blue cotton candy. It was all so… normal.

“You want one too, son?” Jove asked.

It was all so normal, wasn’t it? This was what normal families did. Normal families spent birthdays and holidays together and the parents would hold hands and ask simple things like how was your day, sweet pea, and do you want some cotton candy, and what should we go on next? It was all so simple, so normal, so mundane, but Apollo loved every second of it. He felt like a kid again. No, he felt even better than that; after all, this was something that he figured could only exist in day dreams as he doodled in the margins of his paper, visualizing what his mother might look like, what his father might have looked like, drawing them together as he desperately tried to ignore the fact that it would never be reality. But it was real, at least for today. He was here, spending time at the theme park with his beautiful mother and his wonderful sister and his father, his real one, was looking at him expectantly, wondering why his son seemed to be so lost when it came to choosing a flavor of cotton candy.

Apollo went with the pink cotton candy and quickly wiped his teary eyes on his sleeve before Thalassa handed one to him.

Of course, the sun had to set and the day had to come to a close eventually. And Apollo had promised Maya that she’d be back in time for cake with everyone else. It hurt, of course, but he knew that he couldn’t selfishly keep Jove here with him forever. Nahyuta would have been appalled at his behavior; he always claimed that the departed needed to be kept at peace. And of course, he couldn’t help but worry about how much of a toll this all would take on Maya… But despite that, when he faced Jove for what he knew would be the very last time, he found himself at a loss of what to say to him again.

“…It’s time for me to go, isn’t it?” Jove asked gently.

“Y-yeah…” Apollo replied. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. After all, it just means that you have to carry this now.” Jove handed Apollo the oversized stuffed alien plush he had won at the ring toss. “Happy birthday, son. Sorry I couldn’t get you a better present. They… don’t really pay you in the afterlife, y’know?”

“I get it.” Apollo laughed. He hugged the plush toy closer to him, offhandedly wondering if Mr. Wright would let him keep this in the office.

“Besides, it’s a great present!” Trucy interjected. “No way Apollo could’ve won one of these on his own.”

“Gee, thanks. …Still, I’m sorry you have to go so soon-”

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for, son. I didn’t think I was just gonna start living life in your friend’s body. Wouldn’t be fair to her.”

“Still… Was this, I don’t know, a selfish thing of me to do? I mean… I called you back with absolutely no warning. That’s disturbing your peace, right? And then when you got here you didn’t even get to stay that long and-”

“Apollo. Shh.” Jove interrupted, placing a firm hand on his son’s shoulder. “I already told you; I’m happy to be here. I got to meet Trucy, I got to see my beautiful wife again, and… I got to meet you again. So thank you, Apollo, for making that happen.”

“Y-you’re welcome, I guess…”

Jove said his goodbyes to everyone. He hugged Trucy; honestly, Apollo was a little worried that he might not like her. Based off the things his mother had told him, it sounded like her situation in Troupe Gramarye had been awful, and Jove had helped save her from all that by eloping with her. So to find out that she had been forced to return and had another child with one of its members… It must have been devastating. But no, Jove immediately took a liking to Trucy. She had a way with people; Apollo could hardly think of a single person aside from Mr. Retinz that disliked her, and by the time it was mid afternoon Trucy and Jove had been competing to see who could spin their tea cup the fastest while Apollo and Thalassa looked on with horror from their own tea cup.

It took awhile for him to say goodbye to Thalassa. After all, a single day couldn’t possibly make up for over twenty-five years of separation. Honestly, it broke Apollo’s heart to see them have what would likely be their last conversation. Thalassa, for the most part, was pretty reserved. She didn’t show her emotions as openly as he or even Trucy did. He had never seen her look as upset as she had been when she reunited with Jove, nor had he seen her smile as brightly as she had when she chatted with him and held his hand. It was like she was a smitten teenager again, blissfully laughing along with her crush. But all things considered, she didn’t look too horribly distraught as she said her final goodbyes to him. Because at least this time, she got to tell him that she loved him and she got to have a proper goodbye.

Apollo was last. Birthday boy privilege, he assumed.

“Well. It’s been fun, Apollo.”

“Y-yeah…” Apollo gulped. This was… really it, wasn’t it? His first and last goodbye, ever, to his very own father. Before he could say anything else, Jove hugged him tight.

“My little man’s all grown up.” He laughed. “I’m so happy that I got to see it for myself.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.” He pulled away, and gave Apollo a kiss on the forehead. “I love you, Apollo. And I’m so proud of the person you’ve become.”

“Th-thanks.” Apollo replied. “And… I love you too, Dad.”

“Ah…” For the first time all day, Jove looked like he might cry. “God… I must be the luckiest dad in the world to have a son like you.”

It was the last thing he said before hugging his family for the final time.

When Apollo returned to the apartment that night, he felt utterly exhausted and he collapsed on the couch. He was never in the best of shape, and it was rare for him to spend an entire day out and about like that. And after he had left the amusement park with Thalassa, Trucy and Maya, he had joined Klavier, Mr. Wright and Athena for dinner and cake. It didn’t help that he had had a few celebratory drinks at his friends’ insistence. But honestly, the exhaustion had been worth it. Being able to spend the entire day with friends and family - both those he had and those he had lost – had felt like a dream come true.

“Tired, schatzi?” Klavier asked, putting the gifts Apollo had gotten on the coffee table, to be dealt with later.

“I’m exhausted.” Apollo groaned in response. “Some of those rides hurt my back.”

“You sound more and more like Herr Wright with each passing day.”

“Ugh, don’t say that.”

“Mein forehead, do you plan on sleeping on the couch like that?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, aren’t you at least going to take off your shoes?”

“Mmm… fine.” He mumbled, kicking his shoes off lazily. “Happy?”

“With you? Always.” He said, kissing his forehead. “Now, wrap your arms around my neck, ja?”

Apollo did as told, and Klavier scooped him up into his arms, then headed towards their bedroom.

“I can walk, y’know…” Apollo said, though he made no effort to prove it.

“Ja, I know, I know. But it’s your birthday, and you’re exhausted, so you get special treatment.”

“You’d do this any day.”

“That’s true, too.”

Klavier set him down on their bed, and soon enough he forced himself to actually get up and put on some pajamas. When he finally came back to bed, Apollo lay curled up against Klavier's chest just like he always did, with his arm wrapped around him. It was warm, and reassuring, and he loved it. But despite that comfort, he didn’t fall asleep immediately.

“Hey, Klav?” He whispered.

“Ja?”

“I had fun today. So… thanks.”

“What are you thanking me for? You spent most the day with your family and-”

“I’m thanking you because I wouldn’t have even gotten the chance if it weren’t for you saving me.”

“You’re still worried about that?”

“No, not worried. Just… grateful, I guess. I’ve spent a lot of my life feeling lonely. And just a year ago I had leapt at the chance to disappear forever, figuring there was no one left who’d want me around. But… I was wrong.” He lazily laced his fingers with Klavier's. “I have a lot of people in my life. And… I have a lot to look forward to. I’m just glad I’m still here to realize that.”

“I’m glad too. I love you, schatzi.” Klavier gave him another kiss on the forehead. “And I’m certainly not the only one.”  

“I love you too, Klav. And I know.”

His bracelet showed no reaction.

It was true. Sometimes it could be hard to accept. Sometimes those biting words of Nahyuta’s and his overwhelming pessimism got the better of him, and he couldn’t help but wallow in doubt. But… at the end of the day, he knew those words to be false.

"My dad..."

"Ja? What about him?"

"He told me he was lucky for having me."

"Well, obviously. Anyone would be lucky to have you." 

Apollo just smiled to himself. 

He... really wasn’t bad luck. His father had just said so himself. And with so many wonderful friends and family… how could he possibly be unlucky?

Bad things didn’t happen when he was around. Bad things happened to everyone; he had told that to Klavier years ago and Klavier had recited it back to him. It was about time he practiced what he preached and realized that a lot of good had happened while he was around, too.

He wasn’t unwanted. From the missing posters littering the Agency, to his friends tears at just seeing him safe again, to Klavier dropping everything to get him help when he needed it most, to his own parents telling him so… he knew better than to think that anymore.

He had lost a lot. More in such a short period of time than could possibly be fair. But he was getting better at trying to follow what Nahyuta said and moving on. Maybe he didn’t let go. Maybe he wouldn’t ever be able to let go entirely and maybe he’d still hold on to all that he had lost close to his heart, but he was getting better about that moving on part. After all, he had so much to look forward to now. He needed to return to Khura’in again and apologize to Datz as well as fulfill his promise to Nahyuta. He still needed to catch up with Mr. Terran again. He had plenty of wild cases to look forward to with his dear friends at the agency; he had countless dates to plan for with his lovely boyfriend, and of course he had all the time in the world to spend with his wonderful mother and his little sister.

And to think, a year ago to this very day, he thought he had absolutely nothing.

It was easy to get caught up in the darkness of the past, but he just needed to remember that there was a sunny future awaiting him. And if he ever were to forget that, if his doubts ever again became too much for him and he found himself in that darkness once more… well, he knew that he had plenty of people who would be more than happy lend him a hand.

At twenty-eight years old, Apollo fell asleep in the safety of Klavier’s arms, and he slept peacefully, feeling like he might just be the luckiest person in the world.