a missing heart

“Dammit, Rin!”

Rin sighed and hung his head. He didn’t need Yukio to scold him for this. He knew he’d fucked up, and he was freaking out enough as it was. The last thing he needed was for his brother to go on and on about this and make him feel even worse.

“What are we supposed to do now, huh? How are we supposed to get that back?” Yukio groaned and began to pace back and forth. “The Illuminati has Kurikara! The one thing Dad told you to do was protect that sword, and you’ve lost it!”

“It’s not like I meant for it to happen!” Rin’s tail began to lash in agitation. Of course he fucking hadn’t! Yukio was right, Fujimoto had told him to keep it safe, to never let it go, keep it by his side. So of course he’d gone and lost it. Of course he had, because he couldn’t do anything without fucking it up!

He’d just had to be stupid enough to get bashed upside the head during that skirmish and gone down for a few moments before his healing took care of whatever head injury had existed and caused him to fall unconscious. He’d come to fairly quickly, but by then the other ExWires had grabbed him and in all the commotion and panic, no one thought to get Kurikara.

Well, no one except that Illuminati, that was.

And now they just had it.

God, what the fuck was he going to do!? He hadn’t been without the sword since he’d originally drawn it, and it felt…

Well, he felt weird. His heart was racing, and chills were breaking out over his entire body, but that was probably just the anxiety, right? He’d never been so anxious in his life. What was the Illuminati going to do with his sword? Why would they even want it? Would it do weird things to Rin if he didn’t have it? Shit, probably. Why else would Fujimoto have stressed so hard about him not losing it?

Oh god, what if the Illuminati broke it? What then!?

He fell back against the wall, one hand held to his head and the other to his chest. “Oh god, what am I gonna do, Yukio?”

His brother helplessly shook his head. “Rin… how am I supposed to know? We’ll have to figure something out and just hope nothing they do to the Koma sword has…” He grimaced. “Side effects.”

Side effects. Right. Well, that was a terrifying thought, but unfortunately wasn’t anything anyone could do something about until they at least found out the location of whatever Illuminati base his sword had been taken to.

So there truly was nothing better to do than wait.

As much as Rin fucking hated it.

Yukio rolled over with a groan, blearily rubbing at his eyes. “Rin…? What are you doing…?” He fumbled for his glasses, not that they would do much to help him see in the pitch black room.

But he could certainly hear his brother pacing the bedroom, muttering to himself. Yukio wasn’t a heavy sleeper, it didn’t take much to rouse him, which normally wasn’t a problem when it came to rooming with Rin, because it took everything Yukio had to get him awake; he slept like a goddamn rock.

So then why the hell was he up, pacing around the dorm like some kind of caged animal?

“Go to bed,” Yukio groaned as he wrapped his blanket tighter around his shoulders and rolled over. “We have to be up in the morning.”

Rin froze, like he hadn’t heard it the first time Yukio spoke, his eerie eyes reflecting in the darkness. “Can’t sleep,” he muttered as his tail lashed. “Just…I can’t sleep.”

“Well try. Or at least quiet down.” Yukio buried his head beneath his pillow, deciding to let Rin decide to crawl back into bed on his own.

He was too tired to be dealing with this.

“Whoa Okumura, are you good, man?”

Rin readjusted his hood as he turned towards Ryuji, pulling it tighter to prevent what little heat there was from escaping. “Fine, it’s just so goddamned cold."

The other boy frowned in confusion. “It’s like, seventy degrees outside?”

“Yeah, well, it’s fucking freezing," Rin huffed. Ever since he’d woken up in the middle of the night last night, after barely getting a couple hours, he’d just been getting colder and colder, and the winter clothes he’d bundled himself up in were doing very little to help.

Ryuji hummed and reached over to press his hand against Rin’s forehead. Normally he would have ducked away and demanded to know what the hell he was doing, only he didn’t have the energy. Not to mention that his hand was nice and warm.

“You feel hot,"  Ryuji said, pulling away much too soon for Rin’s liking. “Maybe you’re comin’ down with something.”

“I don’t get sick,” he protested. Rin had never been sick in his life! Not even as a kid! Looking back on it, it was probably some demon thing, his healing factor preventing it or something. “I’ve never been sick before.”

“Well…” His classmate pulled out his chair and sat down, beginning to rifle through his bag for his books. “Hope you’re looking forward to it, because you’ve definitely got a fever. You look like shit, too.”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Yeah, definitely sick. It’s probably just a cold or something.” He shrugged. “Give it a few days and you’ll be fine. Hey, how’s your head, by the way?”

“Fine. It healed in a few minutes, you know that.” His fingers curled, nails digging into his palms. “I just want my sword."  He wanted it, needed it, so, so badly. How could his friends have just left it there? Why hadn’t they grabbed it?

Need it, need Kurikara, need my sword…

Ryuji winced. “Look, you went down hard. God, I think I’ll have nightmares about the sound your skull made when you got hit. We just grabbed ya and got the hell out of there, I assumed someone else would think to grab it, and just…no one did. But we’ll get it back, alright? Just pester the location out of Shima.”

Rin worried his lip with his fangs, slicing through the skin, letting it heal, slicing through the skin, letting it heal, slicing through the skin—

“Hey—” Ryuji reached over to jostle him. “Seriously, are you good? You, uh, you just seem a bit… off."

"Fine,"  Rin growled. “I just want class to get over with.”

“Alright!” Ryuji raised his hands in surrender. “There’s no need to bite my damn head off.”

Rin kept glancing towards the door. Quick, almost frantic looks, as if he were trapped and trying to plan some sort of escape.

“Nii-san, just finish up that assignment, and you can go do whatever the hell it is you’re so anxious to do,” Yukio said. “If you would actually focus, it probably wouldn’t have taken anymore than an hour.” And yet, Rin had been sitting at the desk for almost three hours, squirming and fidgeting and whining.

“I’m not—” Rin shook his head with a frustrated growl. “I can’t focus, Yukio.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, supposedly you never can.”

“I need to move,"  Rin insisted. “I need to find—”

Yukio walked over and placed his hands firmly on Rin’s shoulders, stilling his ridiculous fidgeting. “You need to finish this assignment, and that’s it.”

"How are you expecting me to work on this—this useless school shit when Kurikara is missing?” he demanded as he bared his teeth.

“Because there’s nothing we can do about it right now! Not until we can figure out some way to get the location of whatever base it was taken to!” Yukio snapped. “And if you’re so worked up about it, you shouldn’t have lost it in the first place!”

Rin slammed his hand against the desk and shot to his feet, some deep, unfathomable emotion swirling in too-blue eyes. “You think it’s my fault? You think I ever would have abandoned my heart like that?” he hissed.

His heart…? Of course, Yukio knew that Rin’s demon heart resided in the blade, that wasn’t new information to him, but he’d never heard his brother refer to his sword in such a way.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “Look, I know you were unconscious, but you still should have been careful enough not to get hit so hard in the first place. We’re working to find a location, alright? The Vatican is looking for more Illuminati bases anyways. The best thing you can do is keep on like normal.”

“Whatever.” Rin turned back to his assignment with a low growl, already tapping his pencil on the desk and cracking his knuckles against his thigh.

Yukio shook his head, but gave up trying to get him to focus. If Rin wanted to take five hours to do his homework, he could take five hours to do his homework.

Rin shoved himself onto his side, his blanket tangling around his legs as he tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable, unable to relax, unable to fall asleep. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been trying, but it felt like hours. He’d never had trouble sleeping before. Quite the opposite, actually, with everyone he knew complaining that he slept far too much.

But his body, his head, his heart…

None of it felt right.

With a soft, pathetic whine, he pawed at his chest, swearing he could feel the chill spreading out from it, sinking into his muscles, his bones, leaving him shivering and shaking. Why was he so cold? Why did he feel so empty?

A great, gaping chasm in his chest, awful, swirling nothingness.

Find it, find it, have to find it—

Rin threw the blankets back, jumping out of bed. He couldn’t just lay here. How could he? He needed to look, to search for what had been taken from him.

Though he didn’t bother to put any shoes on, he snatched his jacket from the hook by the door, despite it supposedly being a warm night.

He didn’t know where he was going, what he could actually do, because Yukio was right, but Rin just couldn’t ignore the instincts telling him to search.

He had to find his heart.

"Eat, Rin,” Yukio commanded, shoving the breakfast dish Ukobach had made towards his brother. Normally, he hated having to babysit his brother, reminding him to eat and take care of himself and his responsibilities, as if Yukio was his mother and not his younger brother. But now…

Well, it distracted Yukio from his worry.

He’d been woken up by Kuro’s incessant meowing at about two in the morning, which in of itself had been strange. The cat sidhe had never done something like that, and confusion had offset any irritation or anger, but then the familiar had kept tugging at his sleeve and nipping at his hand, before rushing towards Rin’s side of the room, and as soon as Yukio’s eyes had adjusted to the darkness he’d realized his brother was gone.

At first he hadn’t been too worried, assuming Rin was still somewhere in the dorm. Maybe he’d gotten hungry. After all, he hadn’t eaten much at all the night before. But considering how…antsy he’d seemed the past day, and Kuro’s odd behavior, Yukio decided to get up and check.

He hadn’t found Rin anywhere.

Reasonably concerned at that point, he’d tugged on his boots and rushed out to find his brother, Kuro bounding after him.

Half an hour later, he’d found Rin wandering on the other side of the campus, almost as if he were in a daze. His eyes were hazy, despite their eerie glow in the darkness, and Yukio swore his pupils and iris weren’t quite… round, an unevenness marring the edges.

“Rin?” When he stepped closer to his brother, Kuro hung back, the fur along his spine beginning to bristle. “What the hell are you doing out here?” He was still in his pajamas, though he’d thrown on his coat, and that didn’t make sense either considering how warm it was. He hadn’t put any damn shoes on either!

“I’m looking.” He’d said it like it was perfectly obvious. “Can’t sleep, so I’m looking.”

“Wha—” Yukio had shaken his head. “Whatever, we’ll talk about this in the morning. Let’s go back to the dorm, Nii-san.”

Though Rin hadn’t fought him when Yukio took his hand and basically dragged him back to the dorm, a low growl had begun to thrum from his chest.

Yukio hadn’t really gone back to sleep, worried Rin would take off again the second he wasn’t watching him, but he had ended up nodding off a few times.

Rin hadn’t slept at all. And looking at him in the harsh morning light, it was obvious. He was a sickish type of pale, save for the dark circles smudged beneath his eyes, and his entire body was trembling.

He looked ill.

And he needed to eat.

Rin leaned down to sniff at the plate of breakfast, but nudged it away. “Not hungry.”

Yukio bit his tongue to keep from groaning. “Nii-san, you have to eat. And you need to tell me what’s going on with you!” Were it any normal person, Yukio would assume it was some type of sickness that had gotten so severe it’d made him mildly delirious. Why else would he be wandering around campus in the middle of the night without even putting shoes on?

But Rin didn’t get sick. He never had, and certainly not since he’d Awakened!

“I have to look, I have to find it,” Rin insisted, rather than obeying either of Yukio’s commands. “Why won’t you let me look?"

“I don’t even know what you mean."  All night, that was pretty much the only thing he’d managed to get out of his brother. That he was looking for something. “And no, I’m not letting you walk around in the middle of the night when you’re clearly not thinking straight!”

Rin just stared at him, and shit, were his ears sharper than usual? Like they were edging closer to the way they appeared when his brother unsheathed the sword. And his eyes were still looking a little strange…

Yukio shook his head. “Classes start in half an hour, so we need to get ready to go. But afterwards, I’m giving you a physical exam, alright? It’s almost like you’re sick…” Perhaps it was a demon-only illness? There were rumors of that type of thing…

Whatever the case, something needed to be done about Rin, and that was the best Yukio could do without getting Mephisto involved, which he would really rather not do.

Rin grunted and stood up from the table to head back towards their bedroom, and he still didn’t touch his breakfast.

Renzō liked to think he was an observant person. Hell, he kind of had to be, considering his main career and all that. What was the point of a spy if they were too dense not to notice the things around them?

So Rin must have been pretty fucking stealthy considering he managed to completely blindside Renzō.

He hadn’t even realized what was happening, not until Rin had pounced, grabbing him and shoving him against the nearest wall, sharpened teeth bared and breath coming out in frantic pants. “Where is it!?” he hissed.

His heart practically leapt into his throat, because he hadn’t even known that Rin was in this hallway, let alone close enough to pin him against the wall! And why the hell did he look so cracked out? Like he hadn’t slept in a week, eyes hazy with panic, hair sticking up in all directions. Renzō very much felt like he’d just been cornered by a wild animal. “Wha— huh!?"

“My sword!” Rin’s clawed fingers curled tighter into Renzō jacket. “I need it, I need it! Shima, you have to tell me where it is!”

Oh, shit. Honestly, he’d been expecting that question—well, demand—sooner or later. Everyone knew he was a spy now, of course Rin or Yukio or someone would ask if he knew where the Illuminati had taken Kurikara, and he’d been dreading that conversation.

Even moreso now that Rin was clearly pissed the fuck off and anxious as hell. Renzō didn’t want to deal with anyone like that, but someone as powerful and impulsive as Rin?

Hell-fucking-no!

“Look, Rin…” Slowly, gently, Renzō raised his hand and grabbed Rin’s wrist. “I don’t know where it’s at, alright? I don’t, I swear.”

A terrifying, rumbling snarl burst from the demon’s chest. "Where is it!?"

“I don’t know!” he yelped. “I’ve been here ever since it got taken! How would I even know where they’d taken it?” God, he hadn’t actually been scared of Rin since Amaimon had attacked them at that training camp. He knew they were friends, and that was good enough for him.

But right now? This was a scared demon lashing out. The more pronounced demonic features made it pretty clear which side of Rin was calling the shots at the moment. While his ears and fangs and claws weren’t quite as pronounced as they were when the sword was drawn, they were worryingly close to that. 

And only a fucking idiot wouldn’t be at least a little frightened.

Rin shoved against him harder, and his body was so warm, but Renzō swore he could see him shivering. “Then find it."

“I—” Renzō swallowed thickly, tilting his head up and looking towards the ceiling as a slight heat spread across his cheeks. Now really wasn’t the time, but he was only human and he wasn’t blind. Rin was attractive, dammit! And had thrown him up against a wall, pinned him down, and was barking orders at him! He wasn’t sure if his racing heart was due to some twisted excitement or a slight fear. “Rin, I can’t just go to an Illuminati base without a summoning and demand to know where they took the sword of Satan’s spawn. They’ll know I’m feeding that information back to you!” This whole process of playing both sides was dangerous enough as it was, he couldn’t do something like that. He’d end up dead in a ditch!

And as pretty as Rin could be, Renzō really wasn’t in the mood to die for him. He wasn’t that hopeless.

Rin leaned closer, the spiral in his eyes twisting further. Renzō could feel his hot breath on his face. “But I need it,” he whimpered, the snarl fading away, replaced with an almost pathetic keening that caused Renzō’s stomach to clench with sympathy.

He sounded so sad, so scared.

“I need it, Renzō. I need my heart…”

“Look, as soon as I get summoned back, I’ll see what I can do, poke around a bit and get a location,” he promised. “But I can’t—I’m sorry, I just can’t do more than that. Not right now.”

Rin stared at him for a few more seconds, before letting go of him and taking off down the hallway, disappearing almost as quickly as he’d appeared.

“Jesus Christ…” Renzō held a hand to his chest and slid down the wall, still unsure of if he’d been freaked the fuck out or exhilerated by that confrontation.

But that didn’t change that something was clearly off with Rin.

And Renzō got the unfortunate feeling that it was only going to get worse.

“I’d stay away from Rin for today,” Shima said as he took a seat next to Izumo. “He’s in a…really weird mood.”

Izumo raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Are you sure about that? Or did you just annoy him?”

“I was just walking to class and he grabbed me and threw me against a wall! Wanted to know where his damn sword was!” Shima exclaimed as he threw his arms in the air. “I was almost late! And I cannot afford anymore tardies right now.”

“Frankly that’s the last thing you need to be worried about in your life right now, Shima…” Konekomaru said.

“Oh.” Suguro flipped idly through his notes. “I told Okumura to ask you about it yesterday. He seemed pretty worked up about his sword going missing, so I told him to ask you.”

“Dammit, Bon! I’m pretty sure my life just flashed before my eyes!” He groaned and flopped down against the desk. “He looks like he hasn’t slept in a week. Also, I don’t know where his sword is. If I did, I would have told him by now.”

“Yeah, well, considering everything, I wasn’t so sure if you would,” Suguro said.

Shima winced, but his over the top, teasing persona wasn’t gone for long. “You wound me, Bon. Truly. I’m not that much of an asshole. But speaking of his sword…do you think if the Illuminati had it unsheathed, it would affect Rin here?”

“What do you mean?” Izumo asked, leaning closer. She might not know much about all the reasons that sword was so important to Rin, but it was clearly a seal for his demonic powers, and she worried that it being so far away from him could be dangerous.

“Well he just looks very, uh…” He bared his teeth and curled his fingers like claws. “Demonic. Like when he takes the sword out of its sheath.”

Izumo shrugged. “How would any of us know that, Shima?”

“I mean, it could make sense,” Konekomaru said. “Kurikara is drawn, and he becomes a demon. Why would distance make any difference?”

“I don’t know…” Shima rubbed the back of his neck. “He just…he just felt weird, okay? Keep an eye on him.”

“You just told us to stay away from him,” Izumo reminded him as she rolled her eyes.

“Keep your distance but keep an eye on him!” he exclaimed. “That’s obvious."

“Maybe for a spy.”

“God, when are you gonna let that go?”

“You kidnapped me!” Izumo didn’t really hold a grudge, Shima wasn’t worth the effort. But it could be entertaining to watch him squirm and get worked up. “But whatever, fine.”

Just before class was supposed to begin, Shiemi walked in with Rin, and she was chattering his ear off, like normal. However, Rin wasn’t responding to her at all, barely even gave any indication that he was listening, when normally he was just as animated and excited as Shiemi was.

And yeah, Shima was right. Rin very much looked like he did when his sword was drawn, save for the hellish blue flames. But his eyes, his ears, his teeth, his claws…they were far more noticeable than usual. To say nothing of how exhausted and frantic he appeared. Body trembling, eyes darting around the classroom, tail lashing.

Maybe Shima was actually onto something…

Yukio tried not to panic when the thermometer read a hundred and fifteen degrees. If it was a normal human, they’d have been long dead at that point. But Rin was different. Rin was a fire demon. A higher body temperature was normal! Even if…it wasn’t normally that high. But a fever made sense, considering Rin’s insistence of how cold he was.

“You have a fever,” he informed his brother.

Rin completely ignored his statement. “I need to go look.” He tried getting up, already looking towards the door.

"No." Yukio shoved him back into his seat. “You’re sick, and I think it’s messing with your head.” Rin had been making less and less sense as the day had gone on, only insisting on going out to search, needing to find his sword. Whatever this illness was had clearly had a mental affect, and Rin had been worked up about losing Kurikara, so for some reason his mind had latched onto that.

That must be what was going on.

Rin growled and bared his teeth when Yukio refused to let him leave, and that was yet another concerning thing. He was looking more and more like a full demon, reverting to demonic noises and forms of communication rather than actual words, and, for the life of him, Yukio could not figure out why. Did the Illuminati have the sword unsheathed? It was the only explanation he could think of, even if it was a flimsy one.

That combined with whatever sickness this was had transformed Rin into a delirious mess.

“I know you have a fever now, but I need to finish checking you over.” Perhaps once he got enough information, he could go speak to a more experienced exorcist and see if they knew what was wrong with his brother, if they’d ever seen anything like this before.

He tilted Rin’s head back, reaching for a small flashlight to shine into his eyes, and surprisingly, his brother didn’t fight the motion.

His warped pupils didn’t react to the light at all, remained small pinpricks despite the light shining directly into them.

Yukio worried his lip. “Rin, I need you to follow the light with your eyes, okay?”

No matter how slowly Yukio shifted the flashlight, Rin’s focus always seemed to lag, his eyes clumsily following the light, if he even bothered to attempt to follow it at all! 

A concussion would normally be Yukio’s diagnosis. Especially considering the fact that Rin had suffered a head wound just before this had all started. But his healing factor wouldn’t allow such a thing, and that didn’t explain the demonic features. 

What the hell was wrong with him? 

“Alright…” Yukio switched the penlight off and set it on the counter. “I’m going to check your heart rate now, so sit still.” 

Rin did not oblige, none of his fidgeting stilling at all, but Yukio just sighed, not even bothering to request again. Rin had never been prone to listening to him anyways, but right now, something was clearly… 

Well, just off in his head. It was almost as if Yukio wasn’t speaking to him at all.

He did his best to tune out Rin’s chattering teeth, and his breath that was coming out in frantic pants as he pressed the stethoscope against his brother’s chest. 

A thundering heartbeat assaulted his ears, far too fast and far too strong, as if Rin had just finished sprinting a marathon, and wasn’t just sitting there. Yukio’s stomach twisted itself in knots as he glanced at Rin, who wasn’t paying him the slightest bit of attention at all! 

Just before he could pull back, something even more horrifying happened: Rin’s heartbeat slowed. Drastically. To barely a single beat every five seconds or so. 

His heart rate was fluctuating. Fluctuating between a dangerous high and a dangerous low. 

If he was human he would probably be dead.  

But he seemed…fine. 

Well, not fine obviously. But he wasn’t dying. Frankly, the delirium was what scared Yukio the most. He trusted Rin’s body and healing abilities to deal with whatever physical symptoms there were, even if they would be damning to a normal human. 

Taking a deep breath, Yukio stepped back from his brother. “Alright, Rin. You’re definitely sick. But I…I think you’ll be fine enough for tonight. But tomorrow I’m taking you to talk to Mephisto.” 

“I need to look for my sword, Yukio!” he protested. “I don’t have time for that! I need Kurikara!”

“No! You need to eat something, you need to sleep.” It’d been nearly two days since he’d done either of those things, which likely wasn’t helping with the hysteria. “So come on.” Yukio grabbed his hand and dragged him towards their bedroom. “You’re going to eat something and then go to bed.” 

Rin snarled, and struggled against Yukio for a few moments, before quickly giving up and letting himself be dragged along. 

“This isn’t a study hall. You just want help babysitting him.” Izumo pointed her pen towards Rin, her expression twisting in distaste, though she couldn’t completely disguise the worry in her eyes. 

“Damn right, I do,” Shura said. “He finally fuckin’ cracked. Actually…maybe he’s on some kinda crack. Certainly looks like an addict needin’ a fix.” 

“That’s not funny, Ms. Kirigakure,” Shiemi said softly. “He’s—he’s really, really sick!” 

“I’m not sure I’m jokin’...” Shura glanced towards Rin, unable to quell her own concern. Of course, she didn’t actually believe Rin had somehow gotten hooked on some kind of drug without anyone knowing, but she’d seen her fair share of addicts, people who just needed something to survive, and that was exactly what she was looking at, even if it had a heavy demonic edge. 

She’d thought Yukio was being ridiculous when he’d asked her to come keep an eye on his brother while he went to talk to Mephisto. “I was planning on taking Rin,” he’d said. “But the second I let him out of the dorm he’s going to bolt, and he’s much faster than I am, so please go stay with him.” 

Then she’d actually seen Rin. Pacing back and forth like a caged animal, tail lashing, shoulders hunched. He was pale, covered in a sickly sheen of sweat, but despite that, his entire body trembled as if he were freezing. Sharp, uneven breaths were hissed between clenched teeth, fangs bared in an almost permanent snarl. 

A scared, trapped, feral demon. Something very, very dangerous. 

Shura had almost gone for her sword on instinct before she’d realized what she was doing, realized she was about to draw her blade against her student. 

“Kid?” she’d cautioned. “Yer brother sent me ta keep an eye on ya. You uh, you alright?” 

He hadn’t offered her an actual answer, instead babbling something about a missing heart and needing to search, intermingled with growls and chirps and snarls that Shura could never hope to decipher. 

She’d had plans to help the other students study tonight, teaching shit and all, but maybe Yukio had had a point, and she hadn’t wanted to bring Rin with her, so she’d had the students come back to the dorm. 

Not that anyone could actually focus on their homework or school, given the frantic, jittery demon in the corner of the room. 

Rin had pressed himself into the corner, as if he wanted as far away from all of them as possible, repeatedly clawing at his chest and murmuring more nonsense about his missing heart. Shura hadn’t seen him look quite so much like a demon since he’d lost it while fighting Amaimon. 

Shiemi and Suguro had both attempted to approach him at different points, but all they’d gotten for their efforts was an angry hiss and demands of where Rin’s supposed heart was, so despite everyone constantly watching him, no one dared to get close to the demon. 

No one ever worried that Rin might hurt them. No one here believed he meant them any harm or would ever do such a thing. 

But right now… 

Something clearly wasn’t right in his head, and it was common fucking sense to be wary. Like with a familiar, or even a pet dog or cat, as much as you might trust that creature, if they were injured or sick, if they were scared, it was in their instincts to lash out, and that could override the trust they had in you. 

As a demon, Rin was no different. 

Shura didn’t like it, but it was the truth. 

Truly, she had no guesses for what might be wrong with him. She’d never seen anything like this amongst nephilim or demons, so she could do little more than wait for Yukio to return and tell her what he’d learned from Mephisto. 

She could only hope that Rin didn’t do something drastic before then. 

Yukio hated Mephisto’s office. He’d always hated it, even as a kid when he’d accompanied his father here for occasional meetings with the man. It was simultaneously stuffy and gaudy, a type of awful professional unprofessionalism that irked him. 

But given Mephisto’s eccentric personality, could one really expect anything any different? 

“Why would you assume I know anything about your dear brother’s supposed illness?” Mephisto crooned as he rested his elbows on his desk and interlocked his fingers together. “Especially when he’s not even here!” 

Yukio grit his teeth, already frustrated and losing his patience. “Don’t act like you don’t know what’s going on. You always do! It’s like he’s losing his mind!” 

Mephisto rolled his eyes. “And here I thought you were the smart twin. He’s not lost his mind. He’s told you what he’s lost, you’re just not listening.” 

“Huh? What the hell are you—” 

Yukio cut himself off, his eyes going wide. 

Rin’s heart. 

Rin’s heart. 

That’s what he’d been going on about, what he kept saying he needed to look for. His heart, or his sword, but his sword merely contained his heart, didn’t it? And for the first time since he’d drawn Kurikara and broken the seal, Rin was separated from the sword. From his heart. 

“Ah! I can see you putting the pieces together.” Mephisto clicked his tongue and shook his head. “It’s tragic, really, to see a demon go through this. The heart is not meant to be separated from the body, who knows the reactions this could cause!” 

“He’s going fucking crazy!” Yukio snapped. “He won’t eat, won’t sleep, if he was human he would be dead.” 

“But he’s not human! And such a thing certainly won’t kill him. Well… not unless such a massive distance remained for a long period of time,” Mephisto mused. 

“What!?” 

“Now, now.” Mephisto waved him off. “You don’t need to worry about that. Rin will hunt down his sword far before then, and I highly doubt anyone would be able to stop him at that point.” 

Ice shot down Yukio’s spine at Mephisto’s malicious smile. “What… What do you mean?” 

He threw his head back with harsh laughter. “A demon’s heart isn’t meant to be separated from their body. Their heart is their essence, who they are, the closest term a human would have would be soul. As the connection weakens with prolonged distance, less and less of Rin’s essence is present in his body. And his body will react on instinct, doing whatever it takes to reconnect with its missing heart.” 

Yukio swallowed thickly. “So the reason it’s like he’s losing his mind, it’s—Rin’s disappearing? It’s just his body now?” 

“Ah, in a sense. He’s still Rin. Still his body, still his mind, he’s just lost his heart, the spark that most would recognize as Rin himself. It’s complicated. But as I said, he’ll reach a point where there will be nothing left to reason with, he’ll just be a rampaging demon that will stop at nothing to get back what he’s lost.” Mephisto’s grin widened. “I, for one, think it will be very entertaining.” 

“Dammit, Mephisto!” Yukio slammed his hand against the desk. “This isn’t a game! We don’t know where Kurikara is! And if we can’t get it back to Rin—” 

“He’ll be able to find it, I assure you. Already I’m sure he can sense his heart’s vague location, and once that feeling becomes strong enough, he’ll head straight for it. In fact…” Mephisto hummed. “This might work out in our favor. He’ll hunt us down an Illuminati base.” 

Yukio had to bite his tongue to keep from accusing Mephisto of somehow orchestrating all of this. Despite being unable to come up with a plausible way how, he wouldn’t put it past the cunning bastard. “Whatever. We’ll find the base Kurikara is at before Rin hits that point. I’m not letting him become something like that for your sick little games.” It was dangerous. Both for Rin, and from the sound of it, literally anyone around him. 

He turned on his heel and stormed out of Mephisto’s office, desperately ignoring his smug, knowing chuckle. 

“You have a location of the base they took Kurikara to?” Suguro demanded. “Let us come, too! We can help!” 

Yukio shook his head. “No, we don’t have a location. That’s what we’re going to go find before this can get any worse.” He grabbed another pistol and slid it into his holster. “You guys are going to stay here with Rin and keep an eye on him until we get back. I’m putting you in charge because I trust you to be responsible.” 

“Great…” Suguro awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Do not let Rin leave the dorm,” he instructed. “It’s dangerous. If you can, get him to eat something and get some sleep.” Yukio wasn’t too hopeful when it came to that, but maybe his students would have more success in coaxing his brother to take care of himself. 

“And if he tries to hurt any of us?” Suguro questioned, though his voice was strained, as if he didn’t even want to consider the possibility. 

Yukio took a deep, calming breath. “Defend yourselves, obviously. If you can, lock him in a secure place without anyone else.” 

“Right.” 

“Come on, four-eyes!” Shura barked from the doorway. “Y’er already makin’ me pull an all nighter with you for the brat, and now y’er just wastin’ time. Let’s get goin’.” 

“I’m coming!” he snapped. He was already stressed enough, he didn’t need Shura’s hounding! 

“Hey.” Suguro smiled, though it seemed rather forced. “It’s gonna be alright, man. We’ll take care of Rin. Don’t worry about it.” 

Yukio grimaced. “Yeah, hopefully.” 

But he got the sinking feeling this wasn’t going to end well. 

“Alright, Yukio said he’s not really been sleeping, so we’ll take turns watching him through the night,” Bon said. 

“God, I feel like we’re babysitting,” Izumo complained. “Can’t we just lock him in a random room and be done with it?” 

“Izumo, that’s not very nice,” Shiemi scolded softly. “Rin is scared, and hurting, and—and imagine how you would feel without a heart!” 

“You say that like she has one in the first place,” Renzō snickered. 

Izumo lunged over to pinch his ear. “Fuck off, Shima.” 

Bon sighed and pressed a hand against his temple. “Listen, we’ve just gotta keep him contained until Yukio and Kirigakure get back, hopefully with his sword. It shouldn’t be too hard. Like I said, we’ll just take it in shifts once it gets late.” 

Renzō glanced towards the demon in question, a little relieved that he was too far gone to care or remember that he was a spy for the Illuminati. Their confrontation in the hallway right after Rin had begun to slip had been weird and terrifying enough. The last thing Renzō wanted was for the demon to pounce on him in this state. He might really get his throat torn out! 

He didn’t want to be scared of Rin, and well, with the guy’s personality it’s not like being afraid of him made much sense anyways, but the way Yukio had described what was going on with him… Yeah, it left Renzō concerned, because apparently that wasn’t exactly Rin at this point, and was sort of just a soulless body. 

God, that had to be terrifying. Did Rin know what he was doing? Would he remember it? Or were things clearer for him wherever the sword was at, because that’s where his heart was? How separated was he really? 

“Shiemi, do you think you could coax him upstairs?” Bon asked. “He seems better with you, and the more distance we can put between him and the door the better, just in case something does happen and he tries to run.” 

“Sure, I’ll try!” Shiemi got up from her chair, and ever so slowly approached Rin, who was crouched in the corner, watching them all with an intense wariness. “Hey, Rin…” She held her hand out, but didn’t touch him, letting him lean forward to sniff at her. It was almost as if she were approaching a stray cat, not their friend. 

“I know you’re not feeling great right now,” she continued as he sniffed at her fingers, but at least he wasn’t hissing at her anymore. “But do you think you could come upstairs with me? We’re gonna make dinner. You’ve gotta be hungry by now, I think.” 

He stared at her, and his eyes went almost hazy, like he was looking through her, like she wasn’t there at all! 

“Come on,” Shiemi coaxed again with a bright smile. “For me, Rin?” 

Renzō shook his head. “This isn’t gonna go anywhere. If you really want him to move, you’re gonna have to drag him.” 

“Give her a minute,” Bon chided. “Besides, you wanna lose a finger when he decides to bite? I sure as hell don’t. A demon’s bite force is terrifying.” 

Okay, maybe he had a point. 

“I'll tell you what!” Shiemi exclaimed. “You come upstairs with me for a while, and then I’ll help you look for Kurikara? Your heart?” 

Renzō winced, and Bon tensed up next to him. Promising something like that probably wasn’t the best idea, and knowing Shiemi, she wholeheartedly meant it. She wouldn’t say something like that just to trick Rin into doing what they wanted. 

She wasn’t like Renzō in that regard.

Rin straightened up. “My heart?” His voice was thick, a slight rumbling growl accompanying the words, but they were words, and they hadn’t been getting many of those from him the past couple hours. 

Shiemi nodded. “Uh-huh. I promise. Because I’m your friend and I want you to feel better. So as soon as I can, I’ll help you look for it.” 

“How much of this is actually getting through to him?” Konkomaru leaned over to whisper. “I mean… If Yukio was right and he’s really, well, losing it, how do we know he didn’t just hear heart and missed all the rest of it?” 

Bon shook his head. “We don’t know. But this is the best we can really do.” 

Tentatively, Rin stood to his full height, though the movements were different, unusual. Not unbalanced or anything like that, but it just… it wasn’t the way Rin normally moved. It was sharper, more deliberate, more… 

More like a predator stalking prey, as if Rin had put a conscious effort into the way he moved previously, made himself less threatening, less demonic, so as not to come off as dangerous.  

And now that he wasn’t thinking about it… 

Renzō shivered. 

This was so damn creepy.  

Not that Shiemi seemed to mind. She only smiled brighter. “There we go!” She took Rin’s hand, and Izumo let out a small, worried gasp as her body tensed up. 

God, they were all assholes, weren’t they? All Rin had ever wanted was to not scare them, to prove he wasn’t a threat and that he’d earned their trust, and then this had happened, and they were all on their toes around him again. 

It felt bad, but Renzō swore it was some deep instinct within him, warning him that this was a dangerous situation and he should be running as far away from it as humanly possible. That this was unnatural.

Or maybe it was just his cowardly tendencies, but considering everyone else was just as tense, he really didn’t think so… 

Gently, Shiemi led Rin towards the stairs, still chattering away, though she wasn’t getting a response in the least.  

Bon let out a breath of relief. “Alright, that’s one thing handled. Koneko? Can you go check all the doors? Make sure they’re locked.” 

“Sure thing, Bon.” 

Renzō sighed. It was gonna be a long fucking night. 

“I don’t know what y’er expectin’ from this, Yukio,” Shura said. “We ain’t gonna find an Illuminati base all on our lonesome. If it was that easy, the Vatican woulda done it already.” 

“Well then what are you suggesting I do, Shura?” Yukio snapped, his composure rapidly disappearing now that he didn’t have his students to perform for. “Just go back and watch my brother slowly go insane!?” 

Shura raised her hands in mock surrender. “I mean, if what Mephisto said was true, you could just set ‘im loose and let him do this part for ya. At this point, he’d probably make a b-line fer the place.” 

“I’m not using Rin as some kind of Illuminati tracker,” he argued as he continued his march down the hallway. 

“And why not? It ain’t like y’er just lettin’ him go and leavin’ him to fend fer himself! We can get a decent group of exorcists to follow him and take out a base while we’re at it! It’s a great idea, and the easiest way to go about this. You really want him goin’ longer than he has to like this? It’s just gonna get worse with time.” Really, Yukio was being ridiculous. There was no way in hell the two of them were going to just be able to find an Illuminati base, let alone the right one. Even with Shura’s familiars. 

“And prove to the Vatican and the Grigori that they can use Rin like that? Like some kind of demonic hunting dog?” he demanded. “They’ll use him like that all the time!” 

Shura sighed and shook her head. “They’re gonna use ‘im like that anyways, ya know that, right? The older he gets, the more powerful he gets, the tighter the leash is gonna be. They yank on that leash, and Rin’s gonna do what they say. That’s the only reason they’re keepin’ him alive. Settin’ him loose to hunt down and raze an Illuminati base ain’t gonna change that, ‘cause it’s gonna happen regardless.” 

It was awful. Of course it was. Rin was following in Shiro’s footsteps in the worst possible way. 

But the Vatican would be out for his head if he didn’t comply with that treatment. 

“Shut up, Shura,” Yukio growled. “Just help me find the damn base.” 

Izumo stared at Rin. 

Rin stared at Izumo.

She was up with the sun anyways most days, so she’d offered to take the last watch of the night, since it meant she could wake up at her normal time. Konekomaru had gently shaken her awake around five a.m., and then shuffled off to catch a few more hours of sleep himself. 

Rin, much to everyone’s chagrin, hadn’t slept a wink. 

“You’re gonna kill yourself, you know that, right?” she asked, daring to scoot a few inches closer to her friend. “Going so long without eating or sleeping. Hell, if you weren’t a demon, you’d be miserable. Actually, you probably would have passed out a long time ago.” 

Rin continued to stare right through her, no part of him acknowledging her presence or her words. 

“You look like shit.” 

And it was the truth. If anyone thought he’d looked awful the day before, it was nothing compared to now. His claws were longer and more jagged than they’d ever been before. Fur was permanently fluffed up and wild along his tail, and his hair was so messy and greasy it looked as if it had somehow puffed up as well. That damned, frantic panting from between bared fangs seemed to be the only breathing he was capable of at this point, and his body trembled so fiercely Izumo almost feared he would just fall over. To say nothing of the haunting emptiness of his eyes, like there was nothing behind them except desperation and anxiety. 

This was not a person crouched on the floor across from her, one clawed hand digging into the floorboards. This was a feral animal, ready to flee or attack the second he was given the chance. 

Yukio better get his ass back here with Kurikara soon, because Rin wasn’t going to last much longer. Anyone with a brain could figure that out. He was going to snap, and then there wouldn’t be a damn thing anyone could do, despite Ryuji’s attempted precautions. 

Because Rin was letting them keep him here, there was no mistake about that. Loathe as Izumo was to admit it (and she never would to Rin’s face), but he could easily overpower all of them, if he so desired. So as soon as he decided he wasn’t going to accept them keeping him here (or fell so deep into this awful wildness that he didn’t even realize what he was doing), he wouldn’t be here. 

He would run, desperate to return to his heart, and Izumo wasn’t going to be stupid enough to make herself an obstacle at that point. Not only did she not want to put up with the pain, but Rin would never forgive himself if he genuinely hurt one of them once he was thinking clearly again. 

It would be better for everyone if they just got the hell out of his way when that inevitably happened. 

“Are you gonna remember this when you’re back to normal?” she asked. “Or will it be like a fever dream, you can sort of remember it, but not quite? Or maybe it’ll all just be a blank…” She shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me, but for your sake, maybe it would be better if you didn’t remember it.” This whole situation he was in had to be absolute hell. Terrifying and painful and disorienting, and if he couldn’t recall those feelings… 

He would be better off. 

“Well.” She crossed her arms. “At least someone will definitely remember to snatch up your sword next time. Like hell we’re letting something like this happen again.” 

No part of Rin acknowledged her existence, and Izumo sighed. 

Shiemi sensed it the second Rin completely lost himself. 

They’d been doing so well all day. Okay, maybe not well, but as well as they could be doing. Rin hadn’t tried to run, and he rarely acknowledged any of them unless it was to growl at them for getting too close, which was honestly the best anyone could hope for. He still hadn’t slept or eaten, despite everyone trying to get him to eat breakfast, then lunch, and then dinner, but he ignored any food that was given to him. 

Shiemi had kept close to him throughout the day, talking about anything and everything, hoping that some part of Rin knew she was here, knew she wasn’t going anywhere, even if he was no longer able to acknowledge it. 

There had been no good news from Yukio or Shura. No location of a base, let alone news that they’d actually managed to get Kurikara back, and when Shura had called, Shiemi had been able to tell that the older woman wasn’t hopeful at all that they were going to find what they were looking for. 

Shima was already whining about another long night of watching Rin. 

But it was almost exactly five days since Rin had been separated from Kurikara that Shiemi felt her friend snap. 

She sat about two feet away from him, prattling on about her plans for her garden this summer when he gasped, his entire body locking up as his spiral pupils blew wide. A wave of cold embalmed her entire body as a guttural snarl ripped itself from Rin’s throat. He scrambled to his feet, wild eyes shooting to the door. 

Oh no. 

Shiemi shot to her feet and sprinted for the door, and luckily everyone else seemed to have the same idea, because Shima was already over the threshold, and Izumo and Bon were hot on her heels. 

Rin bounded after them, his snarl only deepening, and Shiemi could feel him right behind her, hear his feet pounding against the floor, his breath in the air—

“Out, out, out!” Bon shouted as he shoved Shiemi into the hall, leaving her to skid into the opposite wall with a yelp. 

Shima shoved the door closed, just in time for Rin to slam into it, the frame practically shaking from the force of the weight and his strength. 

“Shit,” Bon hissed. “I knew this was going too smoothly—” 

With a horrifying thud, the door trembled, an enraged, inhuman howl following. 

“Uh…” The color drained from Shima’s face. “Do you think that can hold him?” 

“Absolutely not.” Bon shoved himself against the door, just in time for Rin to slam into it again, and Shiemi swore she could hear the wood start to groan. “Shima! Help me hold the fucking door! Izumo! Go find Koneko and call Yukio!” 

“I mean, he might calm down—” Shiemi attempted. 

Rin roared and rammed himself against the door again, causing one of the hinges to screech and dislodge with a horrifying pop.

“Shima!” Bon yelped, panic taking over as he realized the door’s integrity wasn’t going to last more than a few more blows from Rin’s enhanced strength. 

Shima let out an unintelligible whine, but braced himself against the door, crying out as Rin slammed into it again. 

As Izumo dashed off to do as Bon said, Shiemi joined the two boys in trying to hold the door closed. She doubted her strength would help much, but she needed to do something. “Rin!” 

Thud! 

“Stop talking to him!” Bon hissed through gritted teeth. “It’ll probably just make it worse!” 

“Maybe I can get through to him!” she argued. She’d been able to do it in the forest after Amaimon, surely she could do it now! 

The door shuddered with the force of another blow, this one so violent Shima’s head whacked against the wood. “Ow. What the hell, Rin!?” 

“I don’t understand, he was doing okay!” Shiemi fretted as her muscles began to burn due to exertion. 

“He kept deteriorating, and he must have just snapped,” Bon said. “Or maybe something happened. Maybe they unsheathed Kurikara, or something?” 

“I don’t care what happened! Either we need to let him go or knock him out somehow!” Shima shouted. “If not, he’s just gonna go through us!” 

“But Yukio—” Bon began to argue. 

“Yukio’s not here, and the thing Rin needs right now is his damn sword, so maybe we should let him go get it!” 

Shiemi’s eyes widened as she jerked back from the door. “He’s not hitting it anymore.” In fact, it was quiet, even the frantic, angry snarling having ceased. 

Shima let out a breath of relief and let his forehead fall to rest against the door. “Thank fucking Christ.” 

Bon’s frown deepened. “Why would he stop? From the way Yukio was talking, Rin’s only going to deteriorate. Once he snapped like this, he wasn’t going to calm down again.” 

Shiemi bit at her lip, a deep anxiety welling up within her. “Maybe he gave up on the door, at least? On getting out that way?” 

“Yeah, who cares? Whatever happened, it’s a good thing, because uh…” Shima examined the hinges. “I think we’re down to one.” 

“Fuck! There was a window in there!” Bon exclaimed. 

“Dude, we’re on the third fucking floor!” Shima protested. “There’s no way he would—” 

Shattering glass interrupted him, and Shiemi felt as if the shards had embedded themselves in her skin, a horrible panic taking her over. 

Bon helplessly shook his head. “Shima, he’s so far gone right now I don’t think he—” He didn’t bother to finish, instead lunging for the doorknob. 

Nausea joined the cacophony of awful feelings racing through Shiemi’s body. Because Rin healed quickly, he was practically invincible, so a fall like that wouldn’t kill him, but… 

There would still be a brief moment where he would be a broken, bloody splatter on the ground below. 

Tears pooled in Shiemi’s eyes. 

Rin really had been driven to madness, hadn’t he? 

“Forget it!” Shima grabbed Bon’s wrist and yanked him down the hallway. “You’re right, he probably already fucking jumped. And now he’s gonna run, so unless we want him to put too much distance between us, we need to go.” 

“Go where?” Bon demanded, though he didn’t fight his friend. “You’ve said it yourself! What can we really do at this point? He’s going after his heart!” 

“Yep, and he’s gonna find it. At an Illuminati base. You really want him going somewhere like that alone?” he asked. “At least I know my way around those places.” 

Shiemi hurried after them, because Shima was right. There would be no stopping Rin at this point, but she would be damned if she left him to face something like this alone! Especially after she’d promised him to help look for his heart! 

They had to help him. 

Disgusting, horrible cracking did little to deter Rin as he forced himself to his feet and limped as quickly as he could force his injured body to. At some point during the fall to the ground, some instinct had kicked in, warning him to twist so that he landed on his shoulder and hip while protecting his head, because those wounds would heal a hell of a lot faster than if he cracked his skull open. 

He could feel every pop as his bones shifted back to their proper places, his left shoulder jerking back into its socket, his hip and spine cracking as they repaired themselves. The soft winding of tendons and muscles as they knitted themselves back together. 

His body protested heavily as he moved, a plea to stay down until the healing ran its course, but he just couldn’t do that.

The emptiness inside him was growing, expanding and swelling, a great dark pit that would overtake him if he didn’t do something about it. 

His heart.

Heart, heart, heart, heart, heart—

He could feel it, calling out to him like a beacon, only highlighting the gaping nothingness within him. 

He needed his heart. 

And he would do anything to get it back. 

Following Rin proved to be an impossible, miserable task. They’d gotten outside the dorm just in time to watch him peel himself off the pavement and stumble away, hear the sickening snaps of his body repairing itself. Shiemi had gagged upon seeing all the blood splattered on the ground. 

While he’d been limping and barely able to drag himself across campus, his healing abilities likely delayed by his lack of nutrition and sleep, it hadn’t been hard at all to follow him, and he didn’t seem to even notice they were doing so. 

But as soon as he healed? 

He sprinted. And Rin could run a lot fucking faster than any of them, and it wasn’t long before they lost him. 

Izumo had tried summoning her familiars to track him, but they’d staunchly refused such a command, claiming they were getting nowhere near a demon’s rampaging body in search of its heart. 

Renzō collapsed against the nearest wall, panting for breath. God, he wasn’t even out of shape and he thought he was about to die. Damn demons and their stupid stamina. Why had he thought they’d be able to keep up with Rin? 

Bon and Izumo were on the phone with Shura and Yukio, trying to come up with some desperate plan to find him so he didn’t end up trying to storm an Illuminati base all on his own, and Renzō swore he could hear Yukio’s shouting over the speaker from here. 

“You really don’t know what base they took it to?” Konekomaru asked between his own labored breaths. 

Renzō shook his head. “No! Can’t you just believe me on that?” The Illuminati was secretive. Renzō didn’t even know all the bases that existed, there was no way he could know something like that! Sure, there were research divisions that existed, and that was probably where Kurikara had been taken, but that still didn't narrow it down by much. 

Konekomaru shook his head. “Alright, fine.” 

“I mean, I doubt they would take it far from the location we got in that skirmish,” he said. “Something as valuable as that? The higher ups would want to see it for themselves before any decisions were made about what to do with it, but coordinating for them to come see it would take days, weeks, maybe. So…I mean, if I really had to guess, I’d say one of the closer bases?” 

“Well, that’s good, I guess. There’s less distance for Rin to cover then,” he said. “Can you give Kirigakure and Yukio the locations of the closest bases?” 

“I—” Renzō swallowed thickly. It was no secret that he was playing both sides, and both sides knew it. But leaking the location of multiple bases probably wasn’t something he was going to be able to worm his way out of. 

But Rin was… 

Konekomaru grit his teeth. “Nothing has really changed for you, has it? You’re still nothing but a coward. You’ll do whatever it takes to save your own skin and make your life easier.” 

“Well yeah, I’ve never tried to hide that, Koneko. No, I don’t wanna die, and I don’t particularly enjoy risking myself for others.” He raised his palms. “No matter how many times you yell at me for it, it ain’t gonna change.” He took a deep breath and shook his head. “But Rin, well…” 

God, what the hell was wrong with him? Why was he doing this? 

He pushed off the wall and marched over to Bon, snatching the phone from his hand and ignoring his indignant yelp. “Yo, Yukio. I’m gonna give you some locations, but you gotta swear not to share them with anyone else? After we get Rin and his sword back, you forget them, understand me?” 

“Shima—” 

“No, promise me, or I’m not telling.” He was risking enough as it was, putting far more trust in Yukio than he ever wanted to. Oh, why the hell did he have to get so attached to Rin fucking Okumura? “Rin will find the place on his own, and figure it out himself.” 

He wouldn’t, because Renzō would go just to see what was going on, get his friend the hell out of there if it was plausible, but… 

“Fine,” Yukio relented. “Give me locations.” 

Renzō took a deep breath, and swore he felt his stomach tying itself in knots, as he prepared to spill more information on the Illuminati than he had ever intended. 

The second base Shima guessed was the one where they found Rin. There had been absolutely nothing going on at the first one, not that Shima had been cooperative enough to go inside and actually check, he just insisted that if Rin had stormed the place, they would be able to tell.  

Which…admittedly, Yukio could kind of agree with that, though not based on Illuminati movements, but because he was certain Rin would be making a commotion wherever the hell he was at. 

Shima had been adamant that they meet up and go to the bases together, he would give the location of one at a time, so as not to expose more locations than necessary. 

It irked Yukio. Of course it did! They were wasting valuable time like this. But he understood Shima’s hesitation and wariness, as much as he didn’t want to. Because he was risking a lot by doing this, trusting not only Yukio, but Shura and the other students as well. 

All for Rin’s sake. 

As angry as Yukio wanted to be, he couldn’t find it in himself. 

“This would be so much damn easier if we could jus’ get a familiar to track ‘im,” Shura complained as they hiked through the woods. “I’m tired of drivin’ and runnin’ around in circles.”

“We tried that already,” Izumo said. “But no familiar is willing to even track him.” 

“I mean, can you really blame them?” Suguro asked. “It’s freaky enough being near him for us, and we’re not demons. Imagine how disturbing being near a soulless human would be.” 

Yukio grit his teeth, fighting the urge to snap that Rin wasn’t soulless, but… it wasn’t exactly true. As humans, despite the research that had been done on them, no one could truly grasp what a demon heart was, it might very well be the closest thing to a tangible soul.

Shura’s rough hand gripped the back of Yukio’s coat, halting him in his tracks. “The hell is that…?” she breathed. 

Shiemi gasped and covered her mouth with her hands, and Suguro breathed out a string of curses. 

“Well…” Shima laughed nervously. “Think we found him.” 

An unearthly blue glow lit up the forest, bursting to life between the trees, leaving the world so bright one would almost believe it was day time. The stench of smoke grew thick in the air, unholy blue flames exploding to life ahead of them in a brilliant explosion. 

Izumo shook her head. “He hasn’t used the flames once since he lost the sword… What’s—What is he—?” 

“I don’t think he could…” Yukio supplied dumbly. “I-I mean, it makes sense. His flames come from his demon side, which is in the sword, so if his heart was taken from him, he wouldn’t be able to access the flames.” 

And if his hypothesis was correct, then for Rin to be using his flames now—

Shura broke off into a sprint, already pulling her blade from its seal on her chest. “It doesn’t matter how he’s usin’ ‘em! That fire’s proof that he’s there, and the hell was the point of trekkin’ out here if we ain’t gonna help him!?” 

Yukio chased after her, grabbing one of his pistols, because she was right. Just because Rin had gotten to the sword, or at least gotten to a close enough proximity he could access his fire again, didn’t mean he was out of danger or had handled every Illuminati agent that was here. 

Renzō lagged behind the rest of the group as they raced for the burning base. Just like in Kyoto, the blue flames in the air, eating up the world around them, didn’t burn. Only offered a soothing crackle and soft warmth. 

But it wasn’t the flames that scared Renzō. 

It was what the Illuminati would do to him if they saw him here with a group of exorcists. Because yeah, there would be no smooth-talking his way out of that one. A silver tongue could only get you so far when there was visible proof of a betrayal. He supposed he could try and sell that they’d followed Rin or gotten a familiar to track him, but he didn’t trust those chances. 

So he lingered, wanting to be sure it was safe and that he could stay out of sight should it prove necessary. 

But the closer he got to the base, he realized it wasn’t a necessary precaution. 

Most of the building was already crumbling, unable to remain structurally sound beneath the hellfire. Flickers of blue clung to what little of it remained, but within a few more moments, all that would be left was a smoking husk. 

It had burned so quickly.

Which meant… 

Renzō swallowed back the bile rising in his throat. In Rin’s addled state of mind, he was surprised that his friends and allies had been spared from the fire, there was no way in hell the Illuminati members had been, especially if they’d been dumb enough to try and keep Kurikara away from the nephilim. 

Renzō was no stranger to death, and he didn’t mourn the Illuminati members either; it wasn’t like he was close with them, or even knew anything about most of them. But finding a bunch of charred, smoking husks was not a pleasurable experience. It looked awful, blackened, necrotic skin peeling off of too-white bones, and the stench of burnt flesh left him needing to gag. 

To say nothing of the corpses that had been ripped apart before they’d been burned. Random limbs strewn about the destruction, torsos clawed to pieces, he swore he even saw a severed head buried beneath a pile of smoldering planks. 

Renzō shuddered. He knew Rin was powerful. He knew Rin could realistically kill anyone if he decided he really wanted to, but…

But it was like he’d never believed he would ever see that side of Rin, even if he had to acknowledge that it existed. 

Rin had never wanted to hurt anyone, but Rin had been so far gone that he’d killed god knew how many people. 

God, Renzō hoped the demon didn’t remember this once he was back to his normal self. 

After creeping through the rubble and an uncomfortable amount of corpses, he found his friends. 

And Rin. 

“Took you long enough,” Bon grumbled as Renzō wedged himself in between him and Konekomaru to get a better look at what was going on. 

“Yeah, well… I risked my ass tonight, could you lay off for a bit?” Did his friend really not understand that? If Yukio didn’t keep his end of the deal and keep his mouth shut, Renzō’s body was going to be discovered by the end of the fucking week. 

Bon grunted, but relaxed a little. “Whatever. We need to figure out what we’re gonna do with him.” He nodded towards Rin. 

Renzō opened his mouth to suggest just picking up him and getting the hell out of here before the Illuminati sent any reinforcements, because there was no way in hell some kind of distress call hadn’t been sent before the place was destroyed and everyone was brutally murdered by an enraged Rin, but… 

He stared down at his friend, who was curled up on the ground, clutching Kurikara to his chest. Relieved purrs rumbled from his chest, along with the occasionally shaky chirp. Tears brimmed in his eyes, as if he were going to cry, but after being reunited with his heart, he very well might be. Small, pathetic flames smoldered over his body, sputtering, like they were about to go out, but given the impressive explosion that had happened earlier, he was probably drained.  

The blood was what got to Renzō though. Of course, he should have expected it, considering the destruction he’d seen on the way here, but… 

It was all over his face, stark red and glaring, smeared across his lips, dripping from his fangs, because he’d torn into those people with his teeth. His clothes were slathered in it. Not just the blood, but strips of flesh, little shards of bone, hunks of muscle and organ. It was stuck beneath his claws, splattered across any visible skin, matted in his hair and the fur of his tail. 

“Why isn’t he snapping out of it?” Izumo demanded. “He has Kurikara, he should be back to normal!” 

Shura crept forward to nudge at Rin’s thigh with her foot. 

He didn’t react at all, merely clutched the sword tighter to his chest, causing the blade to slice into his own arms. 

“Maybe his heart will take time to like… resettle?” Konekomaru suggested timidly. “He deteriorated with time. His heart might not just snap back to how it’s supposed to be.” 

“Well…” Renzō laughed nervously. “We don’t have time to wait. Backup will be getting here soon, so we need to get the hell out of here.” 

“We could carry him,” Shiemi said, though her voice was muffled, as she was hiding her face in Yukio’s shoulder. Not surprising. She’d never been great with gore, and seeing Rin like this was probably… hard. 

“Yeah, we’re gonna have to…” Bon kneeled down next to him. “I’ll just—” He reached out, like he was going to touch Kurikara’s hilt. 

“Wait!” Yukio shouted. 

The second his fingers grazed the sword, Rin jerked, shoving himself up and lunging, bloodied teeth sinking into Bon’s wrist. 

“Fuck!” Bon jerked back on instinct, which only resulted in the sickening sound of tearing flesh and a crunch of bone. 

“Rin!” Yukio grabbed his shoulder with one hand, and used his other to apply pressure to the back of his jaw to force him to let go. 

Bon yanked his arm back and cradled it against his chest, using his other hand to try and hold the gaping tears together, blood dribbling from between his fingers. “Shit, yeah, okay…” He clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut. “No one try taking the sword.” 

“Coulda told ya that, dumbass,” Shura said as she rolled her eyes. “He break it?” 

“Maybe,” he forced out between clenched teeth. “Felt something crack. Someone else is gonna have to grab him.” 

Yukio sighed, but gathered his brother up in his arms, very careful not to touch Kurikara, which Rin held in a death grip. “Come on. Shima’s right, we need to get the hell out of here.” 

Shura let Suguro ride shotgun, considering his fractured wrist, she figured everyone could be nice enough to let him do that. She’d helped him wrap the injury once they got back to the car, considering the blood loss and all, but he would need stitches and maybe a cast once they were able to get him to an actual hospital. Her first aid could only go so far, and Shiemi’s herbs couldn’t do much for a fracture. 

Yukio shoved Rin into the middle seat, the nephilim almost completely limp, his eyes fluttering. God, Shura hoped he passed out. Lord knew the kid needed the sleep, and now that his heart was closer, maybe he’d actually be able to manage it. Shiemi, Izumo, and Konekomaru had crammed into the very backseat, all three of them deathly silent, but considering the death and destruction they had just witnessed, it wasn’t all that surprising… 

Shima crawled into the car next to Rin, looking rather blank and shell shocked himself, but he was probably just worried about being skinned alive by the Illuminati. 

Not that Shura could blame him, and she sure as hell wasn’t gonna rat the kid out for anything, not after what he’d done for Rin tonight. 

God, she was getting too soft for this stupid brats. 

Rin slumped over onto Shima, finally losing his hold on consciousness. The other boy squeaked, his eyes going wide, before he winced as the blood and gore was smeared across him. 

Yukio let his head thump against the back of the seat and closed his eyes, exhaustion and relief taking him over. “You guys can just stay at the dorm tonight. We’ll be getting back late, and Rin is… I’m sure he’ll appreciate you being around.” 

“Can I go get my wrist fixed first?” Suguro moaned. 

“I’ll take ya,” Shura said as she threw the car into drive. “Don’t worry about it.” 

Yukio wrestled a t-shirt over Rin’s head, working around his brother’s squirming and soft noises of protest. “Your clothes were disgusting, and you’re not going around not wearing a shirt when we have people over!” It’d been awful enough shoving Rin into the shower and watching all the blood pool in the bottom of it, scrubbing it out of his hair, off his skin, all while working around Kurikara, which Rin still refused to let go of. 

“Is he doing okay?” Shiemi asked softly as she leaned into their bedroom. 

“Well, he’s clean now. Doesn’t look like he just committed a massacre,” Yukio said. He wasn’t looking any less demonic, or talking, or really even acknowledging them, but… all he could do was hope that would improve with time. “He’s exhausted, so I’m just gonna try getting him to sleep now, but I don’t think it will be hard.” 

Shiemi smiled and shuffled in, sitting down next to Rin and reaching over the pat his head. “I’m glad you’re doing better, Rin. Get some sleep, okay?” 

He leaned into her touch, a soft purr rumbling from him. 

It was a far cry from a human reaction, but at least he was no longer aggressive. 

“Did you guys get set up in the other rooms?” Yukio asked. 

“Mmhm. Bon just got back, and the boys took one, and me and Izumo took another one.” She stood back up. “Yuki’s right, Rin. You need to get some sleep, alright? I hope you feel better in the morning.” 

Rin chirped, but quickly lost interest in her, instead getting up and shuffling to his side of the bedroom, and poking at his bed with his free hand. 

“You can go to bed, Shiemi,” Yukio said. “I’ll take care of him.” He needed to convince Rin to at least wear his sword on his back if he wasn’t going to let go of it. “It’s been a long day, and I’m sure you’re tired.” 

“I just want him to be okay,” she said. 

“I’m sure he will be, it just…” He sighed. “It might take some time.” But at least he had his heart back now, so he wouldn’t be getting worse.  

There was a soft thud as Rin tugged his mattress off the bed frame, then shoved it beneath the bed. 

“Um, what’s he doing?” Shiemi asked as she tilted her head. 

“His brain is obviously still in demon mode,” Yukio said. “Demons hide when they’re… hurt, or healing. Because they’re vulnerable.” 

Just barely, Rin managed to squeeze himself beneath the bed and on top of the mattress with a content sigh, curling up around his sword and his glowing eyes slipping closed. 

“It’s a behavioral thing that most of them don’t even think about.” He shook his head. “I guess Rin’s no different. But maybe this is a good sign. If he’s hiding, he knows he’s not right in the head right now, that he’s not himself, and if he’s acknowledging it…” 

“He’s getting better,” Shiemi said with a bright smile. 

Renzō rolled over with a frustrated groan. What the hell was that noise? It sounded like someone shuffling around, moving things—

He shot up, blankets tumbling off of him, a bolt of panic shooting through him. The Illuminati. Shit, did they already figure out it was me?

He blinked and shook his head with a frustrated groan. He was fucking losing it. Rin had destroyed the base, killed everyone there, and Yukio and Shura weren’t going to rat him out. How would they even know? And even if they did, they weren’t going to just send someone to kill him like this. 

Why the hell did he have to do something good? It was going to haunt him for the rest of his damn life. 

But there was definitely something making noise, and he should probably go see what it was. He rolled out of bed, feet slapping against the floor. 

“Shima…?” Konekomaru sat up and rubbed his eyes. “What’re you doing?” 

“Heard a noise,” he said. “I mean, it’s probably just this old, creepy-ass dorm, but…” It was better to go check, right? Just in case. 

In case of what? Nothing, but just… 

Just in case. 

Shit, when the hell had he gotten so paranoid? 

Konekomaru frowned. “Uh… Okay. Guess I’m coming, too.” 

Renzō grunted. He could do whatever he wanted. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Bon asked. “Can you two shut up?” 

“Just go back to bed,” Renzō said as he wrapped his blanket around his shoulders and shuffled towards the door. “Why are you even awake?” 

“My wrist is killing me.” He held up his arm, showing off his new cast. “Painkillers wore off a while ago. I’m gonna punch Rin the second he’s straight again.” 

Rernzō rolled his eyes. “Shouldn’t have touched his sword. That was you being a dumbass.” 

“Fuck off, Shima.” 

He barely noticed his friends following him as he trudged down the hallway. Maybe the girls were up for some reason? Doing sleepover things? Girls did that, right? 

Granted, probably not girls like Izumo and Shiemi, but he was grasping at straws here. 

Scrunching plastic broke him out of his thoughts as he walked into the kitchen, freezing in the doorway. 

Illuminated by the dim light of the fridge, it took Renzō a moment to actually realize what he was looking at. A person, Rin, digging claws into a package of some kind of meat. Chicken, maybe? Not that it mattered. His eyes practically glowed, ripped up, empty food packages scattered about on the floor—

Was that a fucking egg carton!? Had he fucking eaten raw eggs? Because he certainly wasn’t cooking anything! What the fuck? 

Rin tore into the package with his teeth, barely even chewing the meat, chomping down on it like some kind of feral animal. Pieces of raw food squished beneath his horrifying teeth, shearing through it with too much ease, just like everyone he had killed at the Illuminati base—

It was too much. Just too damn much. The exhausting day, the anxiety over giving up classified information, watching one of his best friends devolve into a demonic mess. 

Renzō’s eyes rolled back and he collapsed. 

“Shima!” Ryuji yelped, lunging for his friend, but not quickly enough to catch him before he collapsed onto the floor, his head smacking against the floor. “What the hell!?” 

Konekomaru kneeled next to him. “Should I go wake up Mr. Okumura?” 

Ryuji pressed his fingers against Shima’s neck, finding a normal pulse. “No, I think he just—It’s been a long day, and… Well, he’s always had some weird responses to things. He’s fainted over bugs before.” 

“You’re right, I guess,” Konekomaru said. “But we should probably get him back to bed.” 

A concerned noise right next to Ryuji nearly caused him to jump out of his skin. He hadn’t heard or sensed Rin walk over and crouch down next to Shima! He’d thought the demon was still over there eating quick enough to choke! Which… given the fact that it’d been literal days since he’d eaten it was a fair response, but… 

Rin leaned down to sniff at Shima, nosing at his face, a worried whine building in his throat. 

“He’s okay,” Ryuji assured him. “Dumbass just fainted. Are you okay? I need you to be okay, so I can kick your ass for breaking my wrist.” 

Rin ignored him, instead opting to grab the collar of Shima’s shirt as he stood up, and proceeded to drag him out of the kitchen. 

“Uh…” Konekomaru leaned over to whisper in Ryuji’s ear. “You don’t think he’s gonna try and eat him, do you?” 

“What?” He shook his head. “Come on, Koneko! That’s ridiculous!” 

“I mean, yeah, but… is it?” He leaned around Ryuji to look at the open fridge. The mostly empty fridge, and scraps of food and trash scattered on the floor. “He’s obviously starving, and he’s not quite right in the head, a lot of demons eat humans… He wouldn’t, but… What if?”  

“God, I feel like a dick, but maybe you have a point.” He shot to his feet. “Rin! You’re not gonna try and take a bite out of Shima, are you? What uh—What are you planning on doing with him?” 

Rin glanced towards him, and hey, that was a better response than the past day, as he hefted Shima’s limp body up with ease and stalked down the hallway. 

“Taking him to bed?” he needled. 

Rin walked past the spare room they had claimed. 

“Taking him to your bed?” he reiterated. Weird, but considering the fact that Rin’s brain had practically been put through a blender, what point was there in questioning it? So long as he wasn’t stashing him somewhere for an even later midnight snack. 

Sure enough, Rin stopped at his and Yukio’s bedroom, nudged the door open, and carried Shima inside. 

Ryuji and Konekomaru peered around the door frame to watch Rin nestle Shima onto the mattress that had been placed on the floor and halfway shoved beneath the bed, carefully arranging the blankets around him, before laying down himself, on top of Shima. 

“Well, that’s weird,” Ryuji whispered. “But Yukio’s asleep over there and I ain’t sticking around to wake him up. Feel like he’s an absolute dick if he gets woken up. And obviously Rin’s not gonna eat him. It’s like he’s… I dunno, taking care of him.” 

“Demon thing?” Konekomaru suggested. 

Ryuji shrugged. “Probably. Only way to explain anything he’s doing right now. Let’s just go back to bed, and hope he’s better in the morning.” 

“Rin, or Shima?” 

“I honestly don’t know. I’m tired, and my arm hurts and somehow the stitches and cast are already itchy.” Quietly, he closed the door to the twins’ room, and returned to his own. 

Yukio fumbled for his buzzing phone and his glasses. Who was texting him so early in the morning? He shoved his glasses on, squinting at the bright screen. 

Mephisto, of course it was fucking Mephisto! Why the hell was he texting him? It was weird as hell.

Dear Okumura, just letting you know that the Vatican is pursuing no disciplinary action for Rin. They’re more than thrilled with the way the Illuminati base was taken care of. 

Yukio groaned and dropped his phone onto his mattress, not even bothering to read the rest of the messages. While it was a relief in a way, that Rin wasn’t going to go through anything else due to this, he dreaded the Vatican deciding to use his brother like this over and over again. 

But, there wasn’t anything he could do about it, and he was awake, so he might as well get the day started. “Rin…?” 

“Mm…?” 

“Rin!?” Yukio shot up, not actually expecting a response from his brother at this point. 

Rin was curled up on his mattress (which was still on the floor, but at least it wasn’t completely under his bed now), tail flicking in contentment, and sword returned to the sheath on his back. He still looked like a full demon, but his eyes weren’t so hazy.  

But the weirdest part was Shima curled up next to his brother, sound asleep. 

He shook his head, deciding he didn’t have the mental effort to dwell on that and he could ask about it later. 

“Are you… feeling okay?” he asked. 

Rin blinked, and shifted so he could rest his head on Shima’s chest. “Mm…” 

“Alright…” So no words yet, but this was better than growling, sounded closer to something human. And he was actually responding to Yukio when it was appropriate. 

It wasn’t the improvement he wanted at the speed he wanted, but perhaps he shouldn’t be too picky. 

“I guess I’m gonna go make breakfast,” he said as he got out of bed. Or maybe Ukobach would, now that Rin wasn’t quite so… volatile. Maybe Kuro would finally come out of hiding, too. 

Rin hummed again, his eyes sliding shut. 

Deciding to just let him sleep, and not wanting to risk waking Shima up and having to initiate an awkward conversation Yukio really didn’t want to waste energy on, he quietly crept out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen. 

“Dammit, Rin,” he hissed upon seeing the sorry state of the kitchen. Trash and scraps of food strewn about the floor, the refrigerator door hanging open. There were a few random vegetables on the floor that had one bite taken out of them. “I’m gonna kill you.” He closed the fridge. “After I go get more groceries, I guess.” 

But at least Rin was eating again. 

Renzō didn’t think he’d ever woken up so cozy and warm. He didn’t want to open his eyes, or move, or do anything to risk this changing. The warm weight across his torso was so pleasant—

Wait, what? 

Renzō forced his eyes open, immediately being met with the glowing, spiral-shaped eyes of a demon barely a few inches away from his face. 

He shoved himself up and back with a disgraceful yelp, just to collide with a bed frame. Why the hell were they on the floor? Why was he in bed with Rin to begin with!? 

Rin just continued to stare at him, his head tilted slightly. 

Renzō took a deep breath, trying to calm his jittery nerves. It was just Rin. Rin had been laying on top of him and watching him sleep, and a quick glance around the room proved that he was in the other boy’s room, not the one he’d set up in the night before. 

“Shit, right…” He pressed a hand to his forehead. He’d passed out, hadn’t he? He’d found Rin practically crawling into the fridge and tearing through raw meat in the middle of the night like some kind of goddamn cryptid and he’d passed out. What the hell was wrong with him? Dozens of brutalized corpses was fine, but the idea of someone eating a raw egg was apparently not.  

Maybe it was just the stress. Yeah, he was gonna blame it on that. 

“Renzō.” 

He blinked, taking a second to realize that Rin had actually said his name. That Rin had said anything.

“Yeah? You doing alright now, buddy? I assume you dragged me in here after I passed out, which uh… thanks, I guess?” Sleeping on the kitchen floor probably wouldn’t have been very comfortable, and if Rin had taken him, that meant that Bon and Konekomaru were probably just going to leave him, the pricks. 

Rin hummed and laid back down, curling up and drifting back off. 

“Okay…” Based on the light filtering in through the blinds, it was plenty late enough to get up and start the day, and as comfortable as this was, it felt… weird to just lay down with Rin knowingly, even if he kind of wanted to. 

Besides, if Rin was thinking straight, he probably wouldn’t be doing this, would he? Sure, he was a touchy guy, but not to this extent. 

With a tired yawn, Renzō got up, tugging a blanket over Rin before he left, and headed to the kitchen, really hoping someone had gotten there first to clean up the mess from the night before. 

Izumo took a slow sip from her coffee as she watched Shima shuffle into the kitchen, still looking half asleep. Of course he slept to such a late hour. 

“Breakfast?” he mumbled as he pulled out a chair and sat down. 

“Yuki went to go get some more groceries,” Shiemi said. “When he gets back, we’ll make something. He said Rin ate most of what they had last night.” 

“Yeah, he definitely did,” Shima said. 

“Yeah, he passed out when he found Rin,” Konekomaru chuckled. “I mean, it was kind of weird and gross, but why did you pass out?” 

“I was stressed, it’d been a long day. And thanks for just leaving me there, by the way!” he accused. “Because you assholes did, didn’t you? And then Rin felt bad so he dragged me back to his room!” 

Ryuji shrugged. “We weren’t gonna leave you. Rin just beat us to picking you up. Koneko thought he was gonna eat you.” 

“I did not!” he protested. “I just—I thought we should consider that it might be a possibility!” 

“You thought he was gonna eat me and you just let him run off with me!?” Shima demanded. 

Izumo rolled her eyes and tuned out their bickering. Oh, how she missed how quiet it had been before the three of them were awake. “How’s Rin?” she asked. “I mean, if you were with him this morning?” 

“Oh.” Shima rested an elbow on the table. “He’s… better, I think? He still looks pretty demonic, but he said my name, and kind of responded when I talked to him? He fell back asleep though.” 

Shiemi let out a sigh of relief. “That’s good. At least he’s getting better.” 

“My guess is his heart is taking time to resettle,” Izumo said. “It will probably take about the same amount of time that it was separated from him, based on the speed he’s been recovering so far.” 

“Yeah, and at least he’s eating and sleeping again,” Ryuji added. “That alone will probably help.” 

“Yeah…” Izumo set her coffee mug down and tapped her fingers against the counter. “Are we gonna tell him what he did at the Illuminati base?” 

Shima tensed up, while Konekomaru asked, “What do you mean?” 

“Well, you know Rin. He finds out he killed so many people, even if they were enemies, and he’s gonna be eaten alive by guilt,” she said. “And I’m willing to bet he’s not going to have clear memories of all of this. So… do we try and keep it hidden?” 

“I mean, realistically, how could we?” Ryuji grimaced. “He destroyed a whole base. The Vatican knows about it, because obviously Yukio and Shura had to report something like that.” 

Shima laughed nervously. 

“Please, they didn’t say anything about you,” Izumo said. “Yukio said he wouldn’t, and Shura doesn’t care enough.”

“Listen, you’re not gonna be the one that gets skinned alive when the Illuminati finds out I leaked locations,” he argued. “And no, I actually don’t trust Yukio or Shura that much.” 

“Then why’d you do it?” She glared at him, fighting back a smirk as he began to squirm uncomfortably. “For Rin?”  

“Obviously! And to get you guys off my ass! Listening to all your hounding was really annoying.” He crossed his arms and turned his head away. 

“Uh-huh…” It definitely had nothing to do with how much he liked Rin, even if he wouldn’t admit to himself yet. “But whatever. I guess you’re right, Ryuji. It’s gonna come out eventually anyways.” 

“We just have to assure him it wasn’t his fault,” Shiemi said. “He couldn’t control himself!” 

“I doubt that’ll make him feel much better…” Ryuji said darkly. 

It wouldn’t, but it was the best reassurance they would have. 

“Dammit, Rin.” Yukio lightly shoved at his brother. “I can’t—get off me.” 

“Aw, come on, man, he just wants some attention,” Shima snickered. “Give him some!” 

Yukio grit his teeth. “I have papers to grade.” Which would normally be a fairly easy job, but not with a heavy, fidgety demon trying to climb into his lap. 

“Yeah, and I wish you would hurry up with it,” Izumo said without looking up from the book she was reading. “I want to know my grade.” 

“I’m trying. Rin!” 

Rin leaned back, staring at Yukio with wide eyes. “Hm?” 

He took a deep, calming breath. Rin still wasn’t thinking straight, even if he’d been slowly improving throughout the day. Right now, he was still a healing, anxious demon. He knew he was healing, which meant he wasn’t at full strength, meaning he depended on others to keep him safe for now. Or at least, that was likely what was going through his head. So of course he was latching onto the people he trusted right now. 

It was understandable, if you knew how demons worked. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t damn annoying. 

“I need you to get off me,” Yukio told him, slowly, calmly. “Go bother someone else.” He could not handle Rin being practically glued to his side, draping himself across his lap, falling asleep on top of him. “Please.” 

Rin whined, but pulled back from Yukio and clambered off the couch. “Okay…” 

“You can come over here, Rin!” Shiemi offered as she patted the floor next to her. “Me and Koneko are just gonna play a card game, if you wanna watch.” 

With a bright smile, Rin bounded over and plopped down on the floor next to her, leaning over to rest his head on her shoulder. 

It was odd, having his students sort of… take up residence in the dorm temporarily, being around them so much. But he could admit that the help with Rin was nice, and he wasn’t antisocial enough to tell them all to leave when they were clearly all worried about his brother, and Rin was so attached to them right now. What were a few more days of this weird, extended sleepover, anyways? 

At this rate, Rin should be back to normal by the end of the week anyways. 

And it couldn’t come fast enough. 

Shura marched up the stairs of the Okumura twins’ dorm. Yukio had left her to deal with all the fucking reports and paperwork thanks to Rin’s little rampage, which she didn’t appreciate. Sure, she knew he was worried about his brother, and needed to keep an eye on him, but a little help would have been nice! 

She passed by one of the open rooms, before halting and twisting back around. “Yo, didn’t know y’all were still here.” 

Izumo glanced up at her, before turning her attention back to her book and delicately flipped a page. It rested on Rin’s back, who had sprawled across the girl’s lap and most of the couch, a soft purr thrumming from his chest as he dozed. “Yeah, well… He’s being clingy.” She gestured vaguely to Rin with her free hand. 

Shura snorted. She never would have guessed that these kids would end up so close at the beginning of the school year. She definitely never would have expected someone like Izumo to let Rin sleep on top of her. 

“He doin’ better?” Shura asked as she leaned against the door frame. 

Izumo shrugged. “He’s getting there. Slowly. He’s talking more today, even if it’s still not much and… doesn’t always make perfect sense. I’m always up early, and I guess he was too because of how weird his sleep schedule is now, and he asked me to help him make breakfast. Soon as we were done, he got tired again and fell asleep though.” 

Shura hummed. Now that she was looking, the demonic features were receding ever so slowly. His claws weren’t as noticeable, ears were shorter. It’d been two days since they’d gotten Kurikara back, and it was a relief to see signs of improvement. “Well, me ‘n Yukio have got stuff to do today. Mephisto ain’t lettin’ him hang around here anymore. So y’er gonna be stuck with him again today.” 

“Yeah, whatever.” Izumo turned another page. “We were all gonna be here anyways.” 

Shura pushed off the doorframe and continued down the hallway again, before Izumo could see her smile. 

“Sorry about your wrist,” Rin mumbled. “It was just instinct.” 

Ryuji sighed and shrugged. “It’s whatever, man. It’s not that bad of a fracture, and I’ll get over it.” 

Rin hummed and nestled further into his pile of blankets. “You tried to take my heart.” 

“I wasn’t gonna take it,” he argued. “You were just clinging to that sword so tightly you were cutting yourself. But yeah, my own dumbass fault for trying to grab it while you were in that state.” 

“Oh. I don’t want anyone to touch it.” 

“Trust me, no one’s gonna touch it,” Ryuji assured him. He certainly knew better than to try that now, and so did all their other friends. And like hell they were letting anyone else take Rin’s sword from him again. “Okay?” 

He nodded. “Okay.” He yawned, fangs glinting as he did so, but thankfully they were back down to their normal size, rather than the freakish teeth of his more demonic form. “Wouldn’t kill you like I would those other people, because you’re my friends, but I might bite again…” 

Ryuji nearly choked on his spit as he actually realized what Rin had just said, how he had so casually brought up murdering multiple people. “Wh-What?” 

Everyone else in the room fell deathly silent, all attention focused on Rin. After three days, he was getting pretty close to his old self, able to have actual conversations, take care of himself normally, even if he was still tired and his demonic instincts were still at the forefront, but he hadn’t really addressed anything that had happened, so they’d all just assumed they were right and he couldn’t really remember it, but if he knew… 

“What?” Rin tilted his head. “I said I wouldn’t kill you. Come on, thought you guys trusted me?” He chuckled. “I ain’t gonna kill you.” 

“You—You remember that?” Izumo demanded. 

“Yeah?” His eyes narrowed. “Why wouldn’t I?” 

“You remember all of it? Everything you did?” 

“Yes…” He sat up straight, some of the sleepiness disappearing now that everyone was paying attention to him and an important conversation was happening. “It’s not—Again, why wouldn’t I?” 

“You remember trying to bulldoze through a door?” Shima asked. “Jumping out the window and turning yourself into a bloody pancake? Incinerating an Illuminati base and butchering everyone inside? Eating raw fucking eggs and then taking me to bed with you?” 

“I don’t think those last two are that important, Shima,” Konekomaru interjected. 

“They are to me!” he refuted. 

Rin nodded. “Uh-huh. My brain was working just fine, I wouldn’t forget things like that.” 

“Ha!” Shima pressed his hand to his face, hysterical laughter shaking his shoulders. “Just fine? Your brain was working just fine when you launched yourself off the third floor and killed god knows how many people in the same night? Goddamn, I always knew you were batshit, but honestly, Rin?” 

Though that certainly wasn’t how Ryuji would have phrased it considering the delicate situation, he couldn’t help but agree with his friend. How could Rin insist that he’d been of sound mind when he’d done those things? 

“I needed to get to my heart,” he said, as if it were perfectly obvious. “I had to do whatever it took. Anybody else would’ve done the same.” 

“Rin, you killed people,” Izumo reiterated, and yeah, maybe they should stop saying that, because either Rin was putting on some kind of act to cope and he was going to crack, or he really didn’t care about what he’d done, which frankly… 

Was a terrifying option, in Ryuji’s opinion. 

“Yeah, and they were keeping my heart from me,” he snarled, flickers of flame igniting over his body. “They got what they deserved. That’s—They—” He shook his head, tail flicking in frustration. “They took my heart.” 

His heart… It all came back to that. When his heart was involved, it was like Rin couldn’t think clearly, even when he had it back. Some obsessive instinct, so deep and powerful and ancient that it couldn’t be reasoned with, despite Rin’s human genetics and upbringing. 

Or maybe… maybe he thought too clearly when it came to his heart. Everything was clear cut, obvious, no complicated thoughts were needed when it came to it. Protect it, covet it, keep it, and if anyone dared to keep him from doing that… 

Ryuji shuddered. 

Rin would feel absolutely no remorse over what he did to them. 

Hell, he might not even feel any kind of guilt over the bite he’d given Ryuji, but had merely apologized out of obligation or because they did have a pre-existing relationship. 

“It’s okay, Rin.” Shiemi came to sit next to him and wrap her arm around his shoulders. “They took your heart, so you had to get it back. I understand. We all do, don’t we?” She glanced around the room, locking eyes with each person, a silent plea and a clear warning to quit pushing the subject. 

“Yeah, whatever.” Izumo rolled her eyes and went back to what she’d previously been doing. “Fair enough, I guess.” 

“Yeah…” Though he was looking a little pale, Konekomaru managed to nod. “It’s… I understand. It’s a demon thing.” 

“It’s fine…” Ryuji said. “Really.” He was just going to have to make sure a mistake like this never got made again, that Rin was never separated from Kurikara, not just for his sake… 

But everyone else’s. 

“Yeah, it’s cool, I guess.” Shima rubbed the back of his head. “Honestly, all the destruction you caused is probably gonna be what saves my ass. I’m kinda relieved you killed everyone there.” 

“Shima!” Konekomaru scolded. 

“What? It’s true! No one’s gonna think twice about how that base got found if a demon rampaging over their heart is what destroyed it!” he argued. 

Rin hummed, his body relaxing once more as he leaned against Shiemi and pulled his blanket tighter. “Thanks for taking care of me though, making me feel safer…” His eyes drooped closed. “I’d trust you guys to watch my heart, even if you can’t touch it…” 

Shiemi smiled and carded her fingers through his hair, eliciting a soft purr as he fell asleep. 

“Fuck! That was adorable!” Shima exclaimed. 

Shiemi hushed him with a fierce glare. “He needs the sleep, don’t wake him up.” 

“We’re never letting anyone else touch his sword again,” Ryuji decided. “I don’t care that Rin could take care of it himself. He trusts us, and we’re not letting him go through this again.” 

“Agreed,” Izumo said. “I never want to see him like that again.” 

No one did. And until the day that Rin didn’t need them to watch his heart, they would all make sure it was never taken or harmed ever again.