Butterfly Flight

“Jeongguk, come on, we’re just waiting for you now!”

Jeongguk sighed as he read his older brother’s lips where he stood in his bedroom door, a frown on his forehead but a smile still on his face. Jeongguk wasn’t quite ready to move, sat on his bed and staring at the four walls surrounding him. He couldn’t believe the day had finally come. The whole summer, he’d been so excited to finally be flying the nest and heading over to University, excited to be spending more time with his brother who he’d barely seen in years. Junghyun was going into his Senior year, whereas Jeongguk was only just starting his Freshman year. It sucked that now he was starting, Junghyun was in his last year and they’d go back to never seeing each other for another 3 years, but he couldn’t help the age difference between them.

But now the day was finally here, now he was about to leave his home in Busan to go to Seoul, and his chest had turned tight with anxiety.

What if he made no friends? What if something happened to his parents? What if his psychology skills weren’t as good as he thought they were and he failed his major? What if people ignored him because they thought he wouldn’t be able to communicate with them?

Jeongguk shook his head to get the thoughts out of his head, placing his hearing aids in his ears. He couldn’t afford to think that way, he couldn’t afford to stress himself out when there was no going back now. After all, he was packed, his room was now barren, and his brother had left and was waiting downstairs for him to get into the car so they could start the long journey to their dorm rooms.

All he knew about who he was rooming with was that it wasn’t his brother despite the request being put in that it would be, and that was enough to set off alarm bells in his brain.

Park Jimin.

Kim Taehyung.

Jung Hoseok.

And Kwon Jiyong.

He wouldn’t know anyone he lived with. He was going to have to meet four brand new people and live with them for at least the next year.

What if he hated them? What if they hated him? What if they were horrible people? What if they did drugs in the room? What if they constantly stayed up late partying in their dorm and not letting him sleep? His dorm mates were going to make him fail Uni and they were going to make him fail his major and he’d be a disappointment to his family and-

“Are you spiralling up here, Jeongguk?”

Whipping his head around, blinking back the tears already in his eyes, Jeongguk wasn’t surprised to see his brother stood in the doorway, just as tall as he’d been since the beginning of summer. He’d had a growth spurt while away at Uni, and his brother’s figure was still a stranger to him even months later.

“Maybe a little.”

Junghyun gave a small smile and huffed air out of his nose in a laugh as he walked over, sitting next to Jeongguk on his bare bed and placing a large hand on his back, rubbing up and down soothingly.

“There’s no need to spiral, I’m going to be there if you need anything at all, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know…”

Jeongguk gave a sigh, before standing and grabbing the last thing in his room. A backpack filled with snacks and grinks for the upcoming journey, as well as a few books and a sketch pad. He knew he’d be singing and having a fun time with his brother, but there was only so long he could do that without getting bored and overwhelmed with all the noise after all.

Once the bag had been slung over his back, Junghyun reached forward and pulled Jeongguk into another hug, tight and warm.

“You’re going to be fine. If you want me to walk with you 24/7 until you get friends and feel more comfortable on your own, I will. You know Byeol and I will be at your every beck and call if you need anything. Byeol is so excited too by the way, he misses you.”

Jeongguk gave a little laugh, pulling away from the hug.

“Let’s go then, Hyung, the later we leave, the later we get there.”

Junghyun then rolled his eyes, grabbing Jeongguk back and rubbing his knuckled hard into his head, making the younger cry out and try to escape. “What? Like I’ve not been waiting for you for the past half hour while you were up here taking your dear sweet time? Now you want to go fast? Right,make me out to be the slow one.”

Once Jeongguk had escaped his brother’s hold and fixed his dark hair ack into place, he simply smiled and headed out of the room, making an active effort to not look back. He’d be back in a few months for Christmas, there was no reason to get upset. It’s not like he was never going to see his room ever again after all. It wouldn’t be too long before he was back and in his own bed again.

Heading down the stairs, his heart gave a little flip at seeing his parents stood at the bottom, his father’s arm around his mother’s shoulders in a comforting gesture. This had happened a few years ago too, when Hyun was leaving for University for the first time. His mother had gotten upset, his father had done his best to comfort her, and then they’d both cried and called Hyun every half hour to make sure he was safe.

This year was different though. Last year, Jeongguk was there with his parents, upset and immediately missing his brother, but able to support them. The same as the years before. They’d still had their youngest after all, Jeongguk was still with them. But this year, both children were flying the nest, away on their own without their parents’ support.

It was hurting Jeongguk, so he could only imagine how much it was hurting his parents.

Hyun hadn’t gotten upset his first year, at least, they hadn’t seen if it he had. But Hyun was stronger than he was, Hyun had been leaving with his best friend, Byeol, too, so he was more excited while leaving than anything.

“Mom, Dad…” Jeongguk started as he got down the stairs, looking over his parents with a teary gaze.

Immediately, this mother pulled away from his father, reaching forward and pulling Jeongguk into a tight hug.

“You be good, okay? Do what Hyun and Byeol say, stay out of trouble and focus on your studies. If you need anything, please let us know. We don’t want you to be scared and alone. If you get overwhelmed and need to take your aids out, do it, forget what other people think about it. If you change your mind you can come home in an instant, we don’t judge you. University isn’t for everyone, and you’re going to be so far away. We’ll understand if you need to come home. We’ll understand if you need to drop out. We’ll support you through that. Please, don’t worry so much. We’ll always be here for you, Ggukie.”

His father laughed lightly, pulling his mother off Jeongguk gently.

“Okay, dear, don’t smother him. He’s an adult now after all, he can survive. He knows we’ll always be here if he needs us to be after all.”

Giving a small nod, Jeongguk reached forward, kissing his mother on the cheek.

“I’ll be good, I promise.”

Jeongguk’s mother smiled, giving him a kiss back before stepping back, back into her husband’s arms.

“You two better be off, then. You’re definitely coming home for Christmas, right?”

At her two sons’ nods, Jeongguk’s mother let her face relax into a soft smile, doing noting to hide the tears that were starting to fall down her cheeks.

“Okay, off you go then.”

At his mother’s permission, Jeongguk stepped forward, giving his father a hug and watching Hyun do the same and kiss their mother, before walking towards the door, tightening his grip on the bag strap over his shoulder.

Once he stepped out of the door, it was real. Once he got into the car, there was no going back.

Taking a breath to steel himself, Jeongguk took that step, blinking back his own tears as he walked towards the car. He could hear Junghyun’s heavy steps behind him while the car unlocked and Jeongguk let himself in to the passenger’s side and sat down, placing his backpack down in the foot-well.

Junghyun joined him moments later, getting in the driver’s side and strapping himself in, stretching and flexing his hands ready.

“It’s about a three and a half hour drive, once we’ve picked Byeol up, longer if we take toilet and food breaks. Are you ready to go?” His older brother asked, looking at Jeongguk from the corner of his eye.

Junghyun had always been very protective, it was no surprise to Jeongguk that he was worried about how his brother would take pulling away from the house.

“I’m ready, let’s go.”

With permission from the younger, Junghyun started the car and began reversing it out of the driveway, honking his horn to get his parent’s attention and waving goodbye as he did.

Within seconds, they were on the main street, and their house was out of sight.

Jeongguk allowed himself a sigh as he slumped back into the chair, staring at his hands as he tried to process everything happening that day so far. It was only going to get more overwhelming. More people to meet, new environments to discover… it was going to be a lot, but Jeongguk could do it. He could get through whatever this day threw at him. He knew he could. He just had to be patient with himself.

“You doing alright?” Hyun asked, not taking hsi eyes off the road. “We’ll be at Byeol’s place in the next 10 minutes, then we’ll be heading off to Seoul.”

“I’m alright,” Jeongguk tried to convince both his brother and himself, giving the other a smile despite the fact he couldn’t look at him. “I’m excited to see Byeol again.”

“You literally saw him last week.”

“Yeah but he’s a better brother than you.”

Still without taking his eyes off the road, only taking a single hand from the wheel, Junghyun reached over and lightly slapped Jeongguk’s leg.

“Yah, don’t say that. I’m the best brother you’ve ever had.

“Byeol is nicer to me.”

“Byeol has to be, he’s not actually related to you.”

“May as well be, I’ve known him since the day I was born.”

“Yeah, the worst day of my life.”

They shared a small laugh, before the two fell into silence again.

As much as it had been a joke, Byeol was practically Jeongguk’s older brother too. Byeol and Hyun had been born days apart at the same hospital, their parents had been friends beforehand too. They’d gone to the same pre-school, the same elementary, the same middle school, the same high school, and now the same University. They’d been together their whole lives, been best friends their whole lives.

When Jeongguk had been born, Byeol and Hyun had only been 3, nearly 4 years old. Byeol had been introduced to Jeongguk the second he’d gotten home from the hospital, and the toddler had vowed to look after his new friend for his whole life.

And he had. Junghyun had been there when Jeongguk had lost his first tooth, and Byeol had been there too, calming the scared child down and telling him it was normal, everyone went through it.

Both Junghyun and Byeol had been there when Jungkook had started his first day of Pre-school, telling him it was okay to be nervous, that he’d make friends in a heartbeat.

Both Junghyun and Byeol had been there when Jeongguk had been hit by a car. They’d been there when he’d woken up in the hospital, days later, with the sudden inability to hear properly anymore.

Junghyun and Byeol had both been there for it all, Junghyun supporting his younger brother, and Byeol supporting his younger brother too.

It kinda felt like when you were a child, and your mom’s best friend was your auntie and you always saw her as your auntie despite the fact she wasn’t related to you at all. That was Byeol. Byeol was Jeongguk’s brother by soul if not by blood.

When Jeongguk had realised he was gay, Byeol was the first person he’d come out to.

It wasn’t that he was worried that Junghyun wouldn’t take it well, it wasn’t that at all. He knew his brother wouldn’t judge him for it, after all, Junghyun was gay too. It must have just ran in the family.

No, what he was worried about was his parents finding out.

They had taken it badly. Not too bad, but still badly. Blamed themselves, thought they’d failed somewhere along the line, etc. They still loved Junghyun, but something had changed for a few years after Hyun had come out quite young.

Jeongguk hadn’t told Hyun at first, because he didn’t want something being leaked to his parents. He didn’t want to hurt them.

Byeol had held him as he’d cried, Byeol had wiped his tears, rubbed his arms, told him that he was okay. That he was valid. That he wasn’t bad or wrong for finding the boy in his class cute. Byeol had supported him when he’d told his brother, when he’d told his parents.

They were brothers, and always had been. You didn’t have Byeol without Junghyun, and you didn’t have Junghyun without Jeongguk. They were a trio to be reckoned with.

“We’re here,” Junghyun pulled Jeongguk out of his thoughts, the younger lifting his head to see they’d already pulled into Byeol’s driveway.

In the week since he’d last seen his second brother, Byeol had dyed his hair. Where it used to be the same dark brown, almost black that Jeongguk’s was, it was now a bright, luminous blue that assaulted his eyes. It suited him though, the bright colour meshing well with Byeol’s bright personality.

He could see the older hugging his own parents goodbye, the two seeming much happier to let their only child go than the Jeon’s had been letting Gguk and Hyun go, but he supposed they’d already gone through it once, the subsequent times were easier. And this year was the lsat they had to say goodbye since Junghyun and Byeol were now seniors and finishing soon.

Moments later, Byeol was opening the back door of the car, climbing in behind Hyun and placing his bags next to him, throwing a few haphazardly into the boot behind him without a car.

“Let’s go already, Hyun, drive!”

With a small laugh, Junghyun started the car up again, once again pulling out onto the main road.

Jeongguk was still quiet as the two best friends chatted. It was a comfortable silence though, he didn’t feel awkward or out of place. He had just always been quieter than the other two, lost in his thoughts as the two spoke about everything and anything.

“You doing alright there, Ggukie?” Byeol’s deep voice asked, pulling Jeongguk’s gaze towards him.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“He’s gotten a bit upset at leaving Mom and Dad, had a bit of a cry in his room this morning. He’ll be okay soon.”

Byeol nodded, giving a little laugh and leaning over, hitting Jeongguk’s shoulder lightly.

“There’s no reason to get upset you know, you have us.”

“I told him that, but you know what he’s like.”

“I know I have you two.” Jeongguk started, not looking up from where he stared at his backpack in the foot-well. “But I don’t want to have to. I want my own friends, not two brothers having to watch over their kid brother and ruin their own Uni experience just because I have zero social skills. I’m going to miss Mom and Dad too.”

Byeol sighed, leaning over again and ruffling Gguk’s hair. “Don’t worry, you’re going to make great friends. We missed you a lot last year, Gguk, and the years before. Hyun barely sleeps the first two weeks of every year because he misses you and didn’t know if you were okay without us. So of course we’re going to be clingy knowing you’re there with us too. But if you need us to take a step back, just tell us, okay? We’re not going to be offended, but we need to make sure you’re okay for our own peace of mind.”

Gguk just nodded, still not looking up and blinking harshly to try and rid the tears from his eyes.

“You good?” Hyun asked, not entirely looking away from the road but glancing over at them.

“I’m good, I promise.”

Deciding to drop the subject, Hyun nodded and leaned back in his chair, trying to relax as Byeol did the same in the back.

“…You know, I called shotgun last week when we were talking about our little road trip. Did you forget about that, Gguk?” Byeol asked, raising an eyebrow with a smirk.

“I didn’t forget.” Jeongguk finally looked up, locking eyes with Byeol and smiling a little at how Byeol’s face lit up at the eye contact. “I just decided to ignore it.”

“You’re breaking shotgun rules, Gguk” He gasped with fake surprise, leaning over to hit the younger lightly, but Jeongguk easily dodged the attack with a laugh.

“I’m not breaking them, I’m changing them.” He said diplomatically. “I was in the car first so I get shotgun, you can fight me for it.”

“I will fight you the second this car stops. I’m older, I get front seat.”

“My brother’s car, I get front seat.”

“I’ve known him longer!”

“Because you were born first, I’m the baby so I get it.”

“This is so unfair!”

“Should have gotten in the car first then.”

“You live with him, how is that even possible?”

“Exactly.”

Giving a small, pretend huff of annoyance, Byeol slumped back in the seat and crossed his arms, all the while twitching his face as he tried his hardest not to smile at the argument, happy that he was apparently distracting Jeongguk from the upset of leaving home for the first time.

It didn’t take long for the car to fall into a comfortable silence, a song Jeongguk only half knew by a girl group he didn’t recall the name of filling the silence as they drove.

Leaning down into his backpack, Jeongguk fished his camera from the bottom, pulling it out of the protective casing and setting it up with a focused gaze, before directing the lens out of the car window, moving the focus and changing the shutter speed as he tried to get the perfect shot out of a fast moving car.

Placing it down for a second, Jeongguk reached up and carefully took his hearing aids out, his hearing ability dropping to moderate to barely there as his function dropped. He only had 10% of his natural hearing in his left ear, and only 15% in his right. But the lack of aids made the squealing of constant interference fade, helping his focus increase.

Byeol watched as he did, seemingly humming along to the song that now seemed to be just static to Jeongguk, but he didn’t attempt to talk so as not to distract the youngest.

Lifting the camera back up and refocusing it, Jeongguk clicked the button a few times before pulling it away from his face to look at the few images he’d just taken. They weren’t perfect of course, some motion blur he hadn’t intended from the speed they were moving, but they weren’t horrific either. A little editing could save them.

Before thinking about it too much, Jeongguk put the camera back to his face and turned to look at his brother, once again changing the focus and taking a quick few pictures of his brother’s focused face as he paid attention to the road, turning more to the point where his waist ached a little to change the settings again and take a few snaps of Byeol in the back, who immediately posed with his fingers up by his face in a peace sign.

Smiling and pulling the camera away again, Jeongguk once again checked his shots, smiling at the photo he’d just taken of the two most important people in his life. They were perfect candid shots, just sat in silence enjoying each other’s company as Jeongguk made his way to the next stage of his life. He hoped they could stay this way forever. He didn’t see why it would change, it hadn’t in all the years previously when Byeol and Hyun had gone, but it was still a fear Jeongguk held.

“You both look great,” He said matter-of-factly.

“Hmm?” Junghyun questioned, while pulling into a different lane.

Byeol gestured a little to Jeongguk’s aids, which he quickly put back in so he could properly hear what the others were saying.

“He was just taking pictures of us, I bet I look hot as fuck.”

“Ever the over-confident.” Hyun laughed. “Good shots, Gguk?”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk confirmed. “I wanna save everything that happens this year, so I can look back on it in the future and remember exactly how we are now.”

“Do you think it’s going to change?”

“I don’t know,” Jeongguk admitted. “But if it does, I want to remember how it was.”

The car fell into silence again, Jeongguk looking through old pictures and Byeol playing on his phone as Hyun drove with ease, not even needing to look up directions as he went. Jeongguk took his aids out once more before taking a book from his bag, settling down and losing himself in the world.

Only an hour and a half in, almost at their halfway point, Jeonggk felt the car move to park up, and Jeongguk became partially aware of the other two in the car talking, which he strained to hear.

“Hyun, I’m sorry, I gotta piss so bad!”

A groan came from his brother, Jeongguk looking over to try and read his brother’s lips. “Didn’t you go before we left? You know its a long drive.”

“I didn’t need it then!” The other claimed. “Please? We can stretch our legs and shit!”

Giving a sigh of defeat, Junghyun turned the engine off in a small town not too far from the main road they were driving on anyway, and parked up.

“Go, find a bathroom, and be fast about it.”

Byeol jumped out of the car and disappeared into the town with a funny little hop as he tried to not wet himself on the way.

Jeongguk watched as Junghyun got out of the car and came to the other side, leaning against Jeongguk’s now open door and smiling at his brother. Knowing he was about to be spoken to, Jeongguk looked at his brother to be able to understand him better.

“Feeling better?”

At the other’s small nod but silent response, Junghyun frowned.

“Still anxious?”

“I’m always anxious.”

“Don’t worry, I know some of the people in your dorm and I know you’re going to be fine, alright? You’re the only freshman in there.”

“Oh, that’s reassuring.”

“It is, it means if you get in to their friend group, you’ll get yourself an even bigger friend group as everyone already knows each other, okay? Try not to worry so much, it’s not good for you.”

Jeongguk stayed silent again, reaching into his bag and taking out a small box and handing it to his brother, taking out a second and throwing it into the back seat for Byeol, before taking out a final for himself.

“Mom made us lunch, eat before we head off again.”

“Alright, boss.” Junghyun laughed, before doing as he was told and opening the little pot. It was nothing special, just a mound of rice and some homemade kim-chi, but it still filled the hole in their stomachs.

Byeol joined them again only a few minutes later and climbed into the back, grabbing his own lunch pot and starting to eat it as they made their way back onto the main road.

The rest of the trip was spent in relative silence. Jeongguk lost himself in his book again, before starting to play games on his phone. Only half an hour after the pit stop, Byeol and Junghyun switched places so Byeol could drive the rest of the way to University. Junghyun claimed it was because he was bored of driving and wanted to play games on his phone for a bit.

Another hour and a half later, they pulled up at the University car park, and Jeongguk’s stomach clenched with dread.

They were here.

There was no going back.

Opening up the car door, Jeongguk took a deep breath as he got out and smelled the Seoul air. It didn’t take long before Byeol and Junghyun had hold of one of Jeongguk’s arms each, pulling him towards the reception building before the youngest even had chance to focus on what was happening around him.

Pulling his arm away, Jeongguk quickly grabbed his hearing aids from the passenger seat, putting them on so he could at least hear what was going on around him even if his anxiety couldn’t process it.

“If we don’t drag you around, you’ll never do it.” Hyun reasoned with a smug smile before pushing his younger brother into the room filled with other students, ready to be given his dorm key and schedule.

Then, Byeol and Junghyun left him alone.

His heart was immediately in his throat, focused on all the strangers around him. He didn’t know a single face, and now the only two people in the whole university he did know had left him alone surrounded by complete strangers.

But it was fine. He’d survive. Joining the back of the queue, Jeongguk rooted his loose headphones out of his backpack and connected them to his phone, fitting them comfortably over his ears and opening the last Spotify playlist he’d been listening to. What the playlist was, Jeongguk had no idea, he just needed something to focus on so he didn’t have a complete anxious meltdown in front of all of these random people.

The line moved relatively smoothly, and it only took a song or two until Jeongguk was next. So, pausing the playlist and moving his headphones so he could actually hear without appearing rude, he made the final few steps towards the receptionist.

“Um… Jeon Jeongguk, Psychology major?” He told them, hoping that there wasn’t going to be any complications with his signing in process. Thankfully, after the woman typed his name into the computer and waited a few moments, she was quickly pulling a key out of a draw and handing it to him.

“You’re in the Bangtan Block, Dorm number 7, okay?” She told him with a smile, releasing the key from her grip as Jeongguk’s own trembling one took it instead. “Also, Mr Jeon, it says here on your file that you’re deaf. Is that a mistake?”

“O-oh, um,” Jeongguk cleared his throat in an attempt to mask the stutter as something other than intense anxiety. “No, no mistake.” He probably could have elaborated further, but Jeongguk really didn’t feel any need to.

Giving a small bow of thanks, Jeongguk turned and sped out of the hall, dodging people as best as he could so he didn’t know them or himself over on the way.

Unfortunately though, that hadn’t quite gone as planned as he found himself stumbling over a random person’s foot and almost fact planting into the floor.

Arms grabbed around his waist, stopping him in mid-air from falling into a world of pain as his face hit the ground. Jeongguk’s breath was stolen from his chest as anxiety once again spiked, slowly looking up to see who had caught him smoothly.

The guy holding him wasn’t that tall, maybe only an inch or two taller than himself, and his hair had been bleached white, messily splayed across his forehead.

“You good?” The deep voice questioned, one single eyebrow raised in amusement at the predicament the poor kid had found himself in.

“I-I’m good, thank you.”

Pulling himself out of the man’s grip, Jeongguk escaped through the door and back into wide open space and fresh air, feeling the adrenaline dip as he was finally able to relax.

“Yooo, Gguk, that didn’t take long at all, did it?” Byeol called from a bench not too far away where he sat with Hyun, the brighter of the two holding two iced coffees while Junghyun sipped on his with a smirk.

Hoping his shaking legs wouldn’t fail him again, Jeongguk made his way over to his brothers, gratefully accepting the coffee as Byeol handed over the only un-sipped one they had and sitting beside them, taking a few gulps of the cold, caffeinated goodness in front of him.

“You good?” Hyun asked, reaching over and running his fingers over Jeongguk’s head, his tone teasing, but Gguk knew that he was worried.

“Five minutes.”

Hyun nodded with understanding and fell into silence. Neither boy spoke to Jeongguk, simply sat next to him without a word, a comforting presence without the pressure to talk as they enjoyed each other’s company.

Once the five minutes had passed, Byeol turned a little to the youngest with a smile.

“Level now?”

“…three.”

“Betteer than I thought, ready to go see your dorm?”

Jeongguk froze for a second, before reminding himself he did actually have to breathe and trying to force his body to relax again.

“Five.”

“Drink more coffee and you’ll be fine.” Hyun smiled, standing up and pulling his brother to his feet. Jeongguk followed the guiding without a fight, trying to force his muscled to relax before his back ached from tension.

“Bangtan Block, dorm number 7.”

“Yeah, we know, Gguk. You found out on your email in the summer remember? I have a few friends in that dorm, so you’ll be okay.” The trio started walking, Jeongguk having no idea exactly where he was going but letting himself be taken that way regardless. He’d learn the route eventually, and he was sure there was a map somewhere in his little welcome pack from the University.

“I’m not in Bangtan Block, but I’m not too far away from it if you ever need us.” Byeol told him with a smile, but Jeongguk didn’t even look up from his very interesting spot on the ground.

“Hey, breathe.”

He took a deeper breath than the ones before.

“Good. My friend Hoseok is in your dorm.” Junghyun said, but Jeongguk missed the smirk from Byeol as he did. “There’s two kids called Taehyung and Jimin in there too. They’re not freshmen, but they were last year so they understand what you’re going through. They have friends in my dorm too, so you’re not going to be able to get rid of me even if you wanted to.”

Giving another small nod but still staying silent, Jeongguk followed the two until they stopped at a building. It was three floors, with a flat roof and railings at the top. Relatively big, but he could tell it was probably just an illusion. Their dorms weren’t going to be as big as the outside made it look.

“Well, time to go inside, okay?” Hyun started, looking up at the younger with a small smile. This time, his tone wasn’t teasing, in fact Jeongguk could pick up the concern. “It’ll be fine, I promise. I’m just a text away, and so is Byeol, but we can’t do this with you. Go, introduce yourself, Byeol and I will bring your stuff over from the car in about an hour once we’ve moved our own stuff over.”

Nodding at his brother’s words, despite the fact he wasn’t really processing anything he was being told. Jeongguk pulled away from the two and used the card attached to the key in order to unlock the main door to the dorm building, going inside and heading up the stairs to the first floor, then the second. Eventually, after what felt like hours of walking which in reality was only a minute or two, Jeongguk found himself standing in front of his dorm room. Number 7.

A deep breath to calm himself, and then the younger unlocked the door and headed inside.

Two pairs of eyes immediately listed and locked with the raven’s terrified ones.

“Um…hi…”

The taller of the two boys broke into a wide grin, jumping up from his spot on the couch and hurrying over, grabbing hold of Jeongguk’s hands and pulling him slightly forward, making the youngest stumble.

“Hey! You must be Jeongguk, right?” He asked, his smile never once wavering. Jeongguk flinched a little as the older’s loud voice right by his ear caused his aid to squeal in his ear, but he liked the other’s smile. It lit up his entire face, reaching his eyes and making them shine beautifully in the light of the dorm. “I’m Kim Taehyung, but you can call me Tae, or Hyung, whichever you want! But don’t call me Tae-Hyung, I don’t wanna be a hyung even if I’m older than you, okay? You don’t gotta be formal with me, I swear!”

The shorter of the two then stood, walking over and shaking his head with a fond smile.

“Tae, I think you’re scaring the hell out of him. Look at him, he looks like a deer in headlights. You’ve already made him flinch once.”

“I’d say he looks more like a bunny.”

“Okay, a bunny in headlights, but that isn’t the phrase, is it? Oh, sorry, I’m Park Jimin.”

Jimin then laughed a little, prying Taehyung’s hands away from Jeongguk’s trembling ones and giving a soft smile. Still bright and happy, but gentler than Taehyung’s large, excited grin.

“The others aren’t here right now, but they should be soon. We have Hoseok and Jiyong still to come, okay? Rooms have already been assigned by the university, but if anything is really wrong with them then we can swap things around so you’re comfortable.”

Just as Jeongguk opened his mouth to respond, Taehyung quickly cut him off.

“You’re Junghyun’s little brother, right? The deaf one? He was so excited that you were going to be here with us this year! He missed you so so so much last year that he could barely focus on work for the first week or two! He even cried a little, I saw it!”

“Tae,” Jimin scolded again, although he was still smiling fondly. Not too upset about Taehyung’s interruption. “Remember to be sensitive.”

“Okay, whoops, I’m sorry.” Taehyung apologised, taking a step back with his hands raised. “I’m very excited today.”

“We can see that.”

Jeongguk finally gave a little smile. Although Taehyung was hyper, he seemed… pure, gentle despite the excitement. And Jimin’s presence alone was quite reassuring and calming.

“Yeah, Hyun’s my brother…”

“Have you met Hobi yet then? Hoseok, sorry? He and your brother are so cute together!”

The smile that had been there quickly faded. “Cute together? What do you mean?”

“Hoseok-hyung and your brother make such a cute couple, right? Hobi said he was going to visit him over the summer break but I don’t think he ever did so maybe you haven’t actually seen them together yet! But I promise they’re super cute together, Hoseok looks after Junghyun super well and keeps him calm and Hyun keeps Hoseok grounded and calm even when he’s getting hyper!”

“My…My brother… is dating a guy called Hoseok? I didn’t even know he was dating anyone, let alone a guy I’m going to be living with for the next year…”

Taehyung’s infectious grin finally dropped.

“You…didn’t know your brother was seeing someone? They got together at the beginning of last year…”

Jeongguk simply shook his head, while Jimin gave Taehyung a soft glare.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know he didn’t know! I thought he just hadn’t met him!”

“Why wouldn’t Hyun tell me?”

No-one answered the youngest.

Reaching up and taking his hearing aids out, a sure fire sign that he was done talking for the time being, Jeongguk turned directly to Jimin so he could see the other’s mouth for the reply.

“I’m going to my room, which once am I in?”

When Jimin pointed to the far left door at the back of the dorm, Jeongguk walked over without looking at the two. Trying to blink back tears as he did. He wasn’t going to cry in front of these people he barely knew, after all, who knew what kind of people they really were. Apparently he didn’t even know his brother, let alone these strangers who wore smiles but could stab him in the back at any given moment.

Once he was in the room and had closed the door behind him, Jeongguk allowed himself to flop down on the left bed, the one of the two in the room that wasn’t already made up with bags on it claiming it, and hid his face in the bare pillow, allowing it to soak up the tears that were beginning to escape.

He didn’t know why the whole situation had made him so upset. Maybe it was because his brother haadn’t trusted him with something so important. An almost year long relationship and Jeongguk didn’t know?

What else didn’t he know about his brother who knew everything about him?

Pulling his phone from his back pocket, Jeongguk opened up his recent Kakao talk conversation with his brother, the last messages being only from a few days prior.

From: Jeongguk
To: Junghyun(g)
Message: Who’s Hoseok, really?

The reply didn’t come instantaneously, Jeongguk watched as the typing bubble appeared and disappeared several times over the course of the next few minutes.

From: Junghyun(g)
To: Jeongguk
Message: I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.

Closing his eyes tightly and sniffling to try and will the tears back into his body, Jeongguk threw his phone on the bedside table and pressed his face back into his pillow.

His first day of University wasn’t going entirely as planned.

When he felt the vibration from his phone on the table, Jeongguk picked it back up. He was annoyed, but not so annoyed that he would completely ignore his brother yet.

From: Junghyun(g)
To: Jeongguk
Message: I promise I was going to tell you today.

From: Jeongguk
To: Junghyun(g)
Message: A year too late at this point

From: Byeollie
To: Jeongguk
Message: Hyun can explain. Come meet us outside your dorm building. Hoseok is with us too.

Steeling himself and wiping at his eyes, knowing they were probably puffy and bloodshot but not being able to bring himself to care, Jeongguk stood and grabbed his aids, but didn’t yet put them in. He wanted to be able to use his deafness as an excuse to ignore them if he wanted, under the guise of not being able to understand them. The whole day had just been a roller coaster of emotions. From anxiety spikes to panic attacks to upset back to anxiety spikes. Jeongguk didn’t know if he was coming or going. So if his face was puffy and sore, so be it.

He left the room, not making eye contact with either of the two dorm mates he’d already met as he left the dorm, heading back down the two flights of stairs and out the building.

Only a few steps away stood Byeol, Junghyun, and a tall, unknown guy he’d never seen before, who Jeongguk could only assume was Junghyun’s boyfriend, Hoseok. The guy he’d barely known even existed before that day.

“Gguk, listen.” Hyun started, putting Jeongguk’s suitcase down on the floor from where he’d been holding it. Noticing Jeongguk’s ears bare, his older brother frowned. “Put those in, I don’t want us to sign to each other and me have to translate to Hoseok just because you don’t want to talk to us, it’s rude.”

Jeongguk huffed, but did as he was told.

“I was going to tell you, but I didn’t last year because I didn’t want things to go south and you have met someone you thought was important for no reason. I didn’t want you to get attached if it was just going to be for a few weeks. Then it kept going, Hobi and I got closer, and it just felt… too late to tell you. I didn’t know how to go about it, so I decided I wouldn’t tell you until you were able to meet him properly. I was going to tell you today, I swear.”

Jeongguk stayed silent for a moment, before giving a small nod. “I get that, but… you could have told me on the way here. You could have told me last night before we left. You even could have told me just before I went into the dorm. I should have heard it from you. I shouldn’t have had to find out about your boyfriend from two people I’d never met before today. Two strangers knew more about my brother’s relationship than I did. That…that’s not fair, Hyun. What else don’t I know about my own brother?”

Hyun looked uncomfortable for a moment, looking towards Byeol for guidance who just shrugged a little, as if it was Junghyun’s choice to tell Jeongguk or not.

It wasn’t a choice any more.

“You’re also in the same dorm as my ex, well, I saw Ex in the loosest term. We slept together once, right at the beginning of first year, while both very drunk.”

“I’m guessing it’s not Taehyung or Jimin.”

Junghyun shook his head. “Jiyong.”

“So this is a several year thing you hid from me, then.”

“I didn’t think you’d need to know about my one-night-stands.”

Jeongguk simply shook his head again, taking a step back from his two bothers and turning back towards his dorm room.

“Gguk, come on, you can’t walk away right now.” Byeol tried to reason, walking forward and taking hold of Jeongguk’s shoulder, but he quickly let go when the younger flinched violently away. “It’s okay, I understand you’re upset but Hyun didn’t want to upset you.”

“Leave me alone.” Taking another few steps, Jeongguk flinched again when Byeol grabbed his arm, not letting go immediately this time.

“Just know you can’t stay mad at him forever.”

“Why are you defending him? Have you fucked him too?” Blinking back the tears in his eyes from the shock of his brother hiding so much from him, Jeongguk couldn’t bring himself to look at Byeol. He knew the comment was mean, but he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t bring himself to care enough.

But Jeongguk knew he’d fucked up with that comment as Junghyun then stormed over, Byeol letting go of Jeongguk’s arm as Hoseok joined them too. Both of the older looked ready to grab hold of Junghyun if they had to, and Jeongguk used the opportunity to take his hearing aids out.

He could see Junghyun’s lips moving, and whatever he said was definitely angry, but Jeongguk didn’t care enough to try to read his lips and understand what exactly he was being told.

“I can’t hear you.”

When Junghyun clenched his fist, trembling a little from how annoyed he was getting with his younger brother, Jeongguk saw Hoseok carefully put his hand on Junghyun’s upper arm to calm him.

With his opportunity open, Jeongguk walked back towards the dorm, let himself in, and left his two brothers stood outside alone.

———

Jeongguk hadn’t spoken to Taehyung or Jimin when he’d gotten back in. He knew the others had probably been watching him fighting with two seniors through the window, but he didn’t really care too much even if they had. It was none of their business after all, and they didn’t have a right to have an opinion on his life.

Thankfully, they’d left him alone in his room. Jimin had even gone outside and gotten Jeongguk’s suitcase from Junghyun and dropped it off in his room wordlessly, which he had to admit he appreciated greatly. He liked Jimin, Jimin seemed nice.

So, instead of sitting on his bed wallowing in self-pity, Jeongguk got himself to work unpacking his backpack and suitcase. He didn’t have all of his stuff right now, he’d have to go get his second suitcase from the car once he could face his brother again, but the stuff he had was enough for now.

Taking his camera from the backpack, Jeongguk sat on the bed and scrolled through the pictures he’d taken during their road trip. They’d been so happy just hours before. Maybe he’d been over reacting. Maybe the fact hsi brother hadn’t told him about his boyfriend wasn’t as big of a deal as it felt like it was.

But it had still hurt.

He felt a little bad that it was his first impression to Hoseok, that he’d introduced himself by arguing with Junghyun. Hoseok properly thought he was a brat. Sighing, Jeongguk once again placed his aids back in place, flinching a little as the silent world around him snapped back into life. The white noise from his aids, the rattling of the air conditioner, the low notes of the TV in the other room…it was a bit much for his frazzled brain to try and process, so Jeongguk grabbed his phone and turned his music back on at a low volume so he had something else, something more steady to focus on.

Snapping Jeongguk out of his thoughts, his room door opened. The youngest quickly lifted his head up, ready teo tell whoever it was that he still wanted to be alone.

But the person he saw, he didn’t know, so he assumed it wasn’t anyone checking up on him.

“Ugh, Jeongguk, I’m guessing?” The guy asked, rolling his eyes and pushing his hair out of the way. “You’re my kid room mate then.”

Jeongguk quickly realised that this guy was probably Jiyong, the guy that his brother had slept with. But he couldn’t think of him that way. He’d have to think of him as a dorm mate, as a friend, not his brother’s ex if he was going to get anywhere.

“Well, considering you’re already a snivelling mess, I’d really appreciate if you could just… not. I don’t need to baby sit you along with everything else I have to do, okay? I can’t believe they’ve roomed me with a fucking freshman of all things. I had two freshmen last year, and now I’ve got you this year? What a disaster.”

Before Jeongguk could even really process what Jiyong was saying to him, he’d pushed his way through the door and gone to his own bed, sorting through his things as if looking for something specific.

Moments later, Hoseok was stood in the doorway, glaring over at Jiyong.

“Hey, cut it out, he’d just a kid.” Hoseok scolded, before turning to Jeongguk and giving him a small smile. “You alright?”

When Jeongguk nodded lightly, Hoseok’s smile grew, his hand outstretched to take Jeongguk’s. Confused, considering the first impression Hoseok had gotten of the youngest was him arguing with Hoseok’s boyfriend, he reached over and took the hand regardless, stumbling a little as he was pulled to his feet and out of the bedroom into the main living space.

“You sure you’re okay? Jiyong can be a bit of an asshole but he’ll open up to you soon enough. He’s just a bit of a brat, and he knows you’re related to Hyun who he really doesn’t like after all.”

Breathing deep to try and steady his racing heart, Jeongguk gave another nod. “I’m fine. I’m sorry about earlier…”

“Don’t worry about it. You might want to apologise to your brother later though. He did get really upset. He did plan on telling you, you know. He was worried about how you’d take it.”

Jeongguk nodded again, not really able to find his words and not really wanting to talk about his brother’s argument again right now.

“My room is on the far right. I’m the only one with my own room, so if you ever need to escape I can always move over for you, okay?”

Jeongguk frowned a little. “Escape?”

“Jiyong can get a little… feisty in bed, and he doesn’t really care if anyone is in the room when he does. He can also be a total asshole as you’ve just seen, and I promised Hyun I’d look after yo.”

Jeongguk felt a little bad at the words, knowing his brother was looking out for him despite Jeongguk being a brat earlier on.

“I’m gonna go speak to Hyun.”

Hoseok nodded.

“Good plan.”

Sat in the coffee shop awaiting his brother’s arrival, Jeongguk could feel himself settling into a solid Level 6. He knew he’d probably overreacted to the news, and he was terrified Junghyun was going to be too angry at him to even turn up to talk.

He’d left his aids in his room, if he was going to talk to Junghyun he was going to do it in a way that none of the nosey students in the cafe with them would be able to overhear. He’d warned his brother of this of course, so he wasn’t taken back when Jeongguk started talking in sign to the older. Both of them had gotten fluent in the years since Jeongguk had lost most of his hearing, so it was still doable, even if no-one else could understand them.

Thankfully, the small raven had little to worry about with whether his brother would show or not, as only minutes after Jeongguk had sat down with his iced caramel macchiato, Junghyun walked through the doors of the shop and made eye contact with him, giving him a small smile as he went to the counter and ordered his own coffee. Black, with a side of sweetened cream. Exactly what he always ordered.

Taking a sip of his own coffee, enjoying the sweetness dancing on his tongue, Jeongguk tried to avoid staring at his brother. Tried to avoid reading the other’s body language. Junghyun didn’t seem mad, in fact, he almost looked upset.

Had Jeongguk really upset his brother that much with his reaction?

Not having too much time to get in his own head too much, he tried to shake the thoughts away. Especially as Junghyun joined him at the table only moments later, placing his large coffee mug across from Jeongguk.

‘So…” Hyun started signing, staring at Jeongguk’s face as if he was also trying to gauge the other’s feelings.

‘I’m sorry.” Jeongguk quickly signed back, before he could back out of saying it. ‘I didn’t mean to react so badly and upset you. It just…’ Jeongguk hesitated. ‘Hurt. Quite a lot, to know there was so much I didn’t even know about my own brother.’

Hyun nodded and smiled lightly, reaching over and ruffling Jeongguk’s hair before retreating back. He needed his hands after all. ‘I get that. I’m sorry I hid it from you for so long. Not the Jiyong thing, that doesn’t really matter since I only slept with him once. But with Hoseok. Honestly, I thought it wasn’t going to last too long. I thought it would be a few weeks before I accidentally annoyed him enough to push him away. But that didn’t happen, and weeks turned into months and then we’d been together the whole year and I was coming back home to spend the summer with you. By the time I realised we were serious, it was too late to tell you. Byeol’s been trying to help me tell you all summer, but I kept chickening out. Maybe I’m the one who needs the Anxiety Rankings.’

Giving a little chuckle, Jeongguk took another sip of his coffe, figuring out exactly what he could say to reply.

‘Hoseok-hyung is really nice,’ He said after a few moments, weighing the words in his mind. ‘He defended me against Jiyong earlier.’

Junghyun’s face immediately turned from one of passive happiness to a face of thunder as his knuckled clenched around his cup of coffee.

‘What do you mean, he defended you? Why did you need defending?’

Jeongguk flinched internally, and part of that flinch may have shown on his face as his brother relaxed his hands a little to stop being so stiff.

‘Jiyong just… had a problem with me for being upset in the room earlier. And a problem with the fact he’s been roomed with a freshman. He seems to have a lot of problems with me already.’

‘Do you need me to talk to him? Maybe I can talk to your Dorm Officer and get you moved to a different room? You can come and stay with us at my dorm if you want. I room with Byeol, but Namjoon has his own room and I’m sorry he wouldn’t mind you crashing in there with him. Or I’ll crash in there with him for ease and you can go and crash with Byeol. Or Byeol can go and crash with Joon and you can stay with me. I’ll text him now.’

Before Hyun could get a chance to wiggle his phone from his pocket, Jeongguk reached forward and grabbed his older brother’s hand to stop him, resting it back on the table before freeing his own hands to talk again.

‘Calm down, it’s okay. I don’t want to swap rooms. That would be letting him win, right? Besides, I can fight my own battles this year. I’m an adult now after all. If I need your help, I promise to tell you as soon as I realise, okay?’

‘…okay.’

———

Hours later, with a lighter heart due to no longer being in a fight with his brother, Jeongguk sat in his new bedroom. His suitcases were now properly unpacked and organised, as was his backpack.

But instead of being sat out in the main room, getting to know his dorm mates and making friends, Jeongguk had instead decided to sit inside his room, thankfully with no Jiyong around, and work on getting a head start on his classes. He still had two days until his first class started, but with him having chosen quite a difficult major, he wanted to make sure he was prepared for the amount of work about to be thrown upon him.

He wished he could have followed in his brother’s footprints and done Photography too, it was probably one of the reasons his brother had so much fun while at University, making his hobby be his way into a job. Jeongguk had also always loved photography, but he knew his parents wouldn’t be too happy with both of them doing a “useless” major. So instead, he decided to do what his father wanted and take a medical approach. Maybe he wouldn’t be a brain surgeon or a cardiologist, but with his own anxiety disorder, Psychology had always fascinated him.

An incredibly anxious Psychiatrist would be one for the history books after all.

His brother and Byeol had tried to talk him out of it, tried to make him take something a little easier, a little less stressful, and a little bit more linked to his hobbies so he’d enjoy it more. But their father had been so happy when he’d found out Jeongguk wanted to go into a medical profession that he couldn’t bring himself to change it.

Which is why he now found himself sat on his bed, feeling the vibrations through the walls as his dorm mates played loud music and had fun in the other room, while he was surrounded by various studies and study books with a notebook on his knee, taking notes as he read.

He’d put his aids in and put his soft headset over the top, playing his own, calmer music to try and mask the others, but it wasn’t working too great as the vibrations were the most annoying part.

He’d barely filled one A5 sized page of paper when the door was knocked on, and Taehyung let himself in before Jeongguk could even give him permission to.

“Ggukieeee!” He’d gotten a nickname from the older already. “We’re going to go to a party tonight! You should come, meet our other friends!”

Giving a smile and a shake of the head, Jeongguk moved the headset as he refused. “Uh… no, thank you, hyung. I’ve got a lot to do tonight ready to class, and parties aren’t really my kind of scene.”

Laughing loudly and throwing himself onto the bed next to Jeongguk, Taehyung knocked a few books off the bed in the process. “What did I say about calling me hyung? Besides, Jiminnie and I will look after you, and your brother is going to be there, so him and Hoseok wouldn’t let anything happen! Would your brother even let you drink? I’d hate to have a protective big brother with me all the time, I wouldn’t be allowed to do anything.”

“He’s let me drink if I really wanted to, but I don’t really want to, hy-…Tae. Thank you for the offer, but I really am okay. The peace and quiet will e nice if all of you are going.”

Taehyung then frowned a little, following Jeongguk’s hand as he went to pick the books up that had fallen, and grabbed his hand instead. “Jeonggukkie, please? I wanna get to know you more, and you need to meet Jin-hyung and Joon-hyung. It’s not even in someone’s dorm or a bar, our friend Jin has his own house just out side of the campus that it’s being held at. Our Jin-hyung is super responsible too, so they’ll be nothing more than standard drinking and partying! I promise you’ll be okay, please come? Please?”

Once again, Jeongguk shook his head, trying to stand his ground although Taehyung could see his resolve and fight was weakening. “Tae, please, I’m alright staying here. I’m really not good with parties at all. I’d just have a panic attack and ruin everyone else’s night.”

Taehyung suddenly stopped pestering Jeongguk, turning his head a little to the side so he looked like a puppy with a curious gaze. “You’d have a panic attack?”

Giving a little sigh, Jeongguk nodded. “I have pretty bad anxiety. Bad enough to where I had to come up with a sort of scale with my brother and Byeol so they knew what level I was at, so they’d know how to help. So, if you ever see them asking what number, that’s why. They know my anxiety is flaring up and affecting me.”

“What are you at now?”

“I’d put myself at a solid 4 right now.”

“Is 1 like, your base level? Not anxious at all?”

“Tae, I’m never not anxious at all. 1 is like, I’ve just taken my meds so I’m calm. Between 2 and 3 is normally base level.”

“So I’ve not stressed you out too much then?”

“Not too much, I’m okay.”

Taehyung gave a small, serious nod, before smiling again. “Now, that I know your anxiety scale, I can help more when you come to the party with us!”

Before Jeongguk even had a chance to, he heard a groan come from the main room, Jimin then standing in the door way and shaking his head affectionately towards Taehyung.

“Tae, leave the poor kid alone. He’s said no several times. No means no, you can’t force him to go to the party if he doesn’t want to. He can stay here, I might stay with him if he wants.”

Colour started to slip away from Jeongguk’s face at Jimin’s words. “No, no, don’t ruin your own night just to stay with me. Please? I don’t want you to miss out on the party just because someone you barely know doesn’t want to go.”

“Bt we do know you,” Taehyung said matter of factly, his face now serious. “You’re Junghyun’s baby brother, and we know Junghyun, and we know Hoseok, and we know Byeol, so we know you. You’re one of us now, and no man gets left behind! So, if you really, really don’t want to go to the party, Jimin and I will stay home with you and we can watch a movie or something!”

Jeongguk stayed silent for a moment, trying to not let his face go red at Jimin and Taehyung’s gazes on him, waiting for an answer. He really didn’t do well with crowds, or drunk people, least of all crowds of drunk people. That sounded like his worst nightmare. But he also didn’t want two possible new friends giving up on their party and their night out because of him. It felt like he couldn’t win either way. They weren’t going to let him stay home alone, and if he did stay home, he’d be ruining their night.

So he may as well bite the bullet and get the University life started.

“Will… a lot of people be going?”

Taehyung immediately wooped, punching the air and jumping up onto Jeongguk’s bed. “He’s going to come to the party with us!”

“Tae, pip down. There will be quite a few people, but you’ll know a lot of them anyway. Our whole dorm is going, and Jin and Namjoon are part of your brother’s dorm with Byeol. I’m sure you’ll always be safe. Jin’s place is quite big too, so they’ll be places for you to escape if you need to, and none of us wills top you if you want to leave once we’re there.

“I might stop him leaving.”

“No, you won’t, Tae. This isn’t how you get new friends to trust you, remember?”

“It worked with you!”

“You Stockholm Syndrome-d me into being friends with you.”

“But it worked!”

“Get off the bed and go take a shower, you smell.”

Taehyung gave a laugh, getting off the bed and hurrying out of the room to the group’s shared bathroom.

Jimin then went and sat next to Jeongguk on the bed, picking up the fallen books and placing them out of the way as he did.

“Taehyung doesn’t mean to pressure you, he’s just easily excited and he wants to include you in everything we’re doing. If you really don’t want to go, it’s okay, you can stay here. Alright?”

Jeongguk smiled a little at how sincere Jimin was being, knowing the guy wasn’t just saying it for the sake of saying it. He did actually care whether Jeongguk was uncomfortable or not.

“I’ll go, as long as I can leave whenever I want. I don’t want to be tied somewhere I’m not comfortable being.”

“The second you want to go, I’ll leave with you and bring you back here so you don’t get lost.”

“Thank you, Jimin-hyung.”

“You’re welcome, Jeonggukkie.”

———

Another hour had passed, and Jeongguk had managed to sneak a quick 5 minute shower in between all the other guys showering and was now getting dressed in the closest thing he owned to party clothes. Which was just a black turtle neck and black jeans, but it was better than the loose t-shirt and cotton shorts he’d been wearing previously.

Hoseok left his room next, looking over at Jeongguk and smiling. “Look at you, scrubbing up for a Uni party.”

Jeongguk paled. “Is it too much? Should I wear something else? Hyung, I don’t really know what I’m doing right now.”

Hoseok shook his head, heading back into his room the reemerging only a second or two later, holding some silver jewellery in his hands. “You look great, if anything it’s not enough. Here.” Reaching behind Jeongguk’s head, Hoseok fastened a long silver chain with a cross around his neck so it dangled over the turtle neck, and attached a small silver stud into the normally un-used hole in his left lobe. “There, that’s perfect.”

Blushing a little, Jeongguk took a step back. “Thanks.”

“No matter what shade of lipstick you put on it, a pig is still a pig.” Jiyong said from his spot on the couch, not even looking up as he spoke with a bottle of beer in his hand.

The glare that came from Hoseok could have shattered glass.

“There’s no need to be so down on yourself, Jiyong, you’re a very handsome pig.”

“What was that?”

“You heard me.”

“Ohhhhkay.” Jimin said, hands up as he came out of his shared room, Taehyung right behind him as he did. “Let’s not argue right before a party. We’re meant to be having fun!”

“I won’t just sit here and let him insult Jeongguk.”

“You won’t have to, because we all know what will happen if Junghyun hears him!” Taehyung piped up with a grin. At the mention of the older Jeon brother, both Jiyong and Jeongguk paled a little.

Jeongguk, because he knew his brother’s temper, knew how much he struggled to control it just like Jeongguk struggled to control his anxiety.

Jiyong, because he knew the same, and he’d been on the wrong end of that temper before.

“That’s what I thought. Now, if everyone is ready, can we go to Jin’s now? I want a drink or six!”

With tensions still high between Hoseok, Jiyong and Jeongguk, the group headed out to the car. Jimin was designated driver for the night, which everyone including Jimin was fine with. Jeongguk even more so, since it meant he definitely had a ride home if he needed one before the night was over.

Jimin and Taehyung got into the front, leaving the warring three to get into the back. Hoseok decided to squeeze himself into the middle, even though Jeongguk would be the most obvious choice for that seat with being the smallest, purely to keep Jiyong away from the small raven.

Within minutes, they’d gotten out of campus and to Jin’s house.

The party was about to begin.

Climbing out of the car with Hoseok directly behind him, Jeongguk felt the flutter of anxiety begin in his chest. He never really had been a party person. In fact, he was the complete opposite. He’d much rather sit in his bedroom by himself than be surrounded by drunk people all night.

Maybe he should have taken Jimin up on his offer.

Jeongguk found an arm being thrown around his shoulders, looking up to see Taehyung grinning at him and pulling the younger into his side.

“You ready? There won’t be many people here yet so you’ve got time to get used to it!”

When Jeongguk nodded, Taehyung lead him up to the garden and to the doorway, the others behind them as they went. He could hear Hoseok and Jimin quietly talking behind him, and Jiyong seemed to be silent by himself. At least no-one seemed to like the senior.

Getting to the door, Taehyung knocked on it loudly, before they waited for an answer. They didn’t have to wait long, the door swinging open to reveal a tall guy with broad shoulders in front of them, smiling kindly at the others.

“Tae, you made it! Come in, we’ve still got setting up to do, and I could do with all the help I can get. Joon is being useless.”

Taehyung chuckled and nodded, pulling Jeongguk into the house.

“Who’s this?” The man asked, not unkindly, but giving a confused, soft smile to the boy under Taehyung’s arm.

“Oh, sorry Jin-hyung! This is Jeongguk, our new dorm mate and Junghyun’s younger brother.

Jin’s face switched from one of confusion to one of joy as he took hold of Jeongguk’s hands, not excited and harsh like Taehyung had been doing, but soft and reassuring, still with a strong grip that made Jeongguk feel just the littlest bit safer.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you after these past few years! I should have noticed beforehand, you look so much like your brother, don’t you? He’s just a little taller, but I bet you’re still growing, huh? I’ve heard so much about you.”

A blush rose to Jeongguk’s cheeks as the guy who appeared to be Jin spoke, Jeongguk pulling his hands away from the other and giving a small bow. “Thank you, Seokjin-nim, it’s nice to meet you too.”

“No-one calls me Seokjin, please, just Jin is fine, okay? And stop with that ‘nim’ stuff, I’m just hyung to you. Come on, you need to meet Namjoon. You already know Byeol and Junghyun ofcourse, so the only people left to meet in our little friend group is Namjoon and Yoongi. Yoongi isn’t here right now, but he should be soon.”

Jeongguk nodded, a little relieved that he didn’t have too many more people to meet today. It had been a long couple of days, and Jeongguk was a little sick of introductions at this point.

Jin began walking, leading the others through the beautiful home towards the main living area that had been decorated up for a party. It was nothing too elaborate, a few streamers here and there, some fairy lights around the windows, the main decoration appeared to be the kegs of beer dotted around without a proper place to be.

And stood, trying to move a keg onto the side, was another stranger, who Jeongguk could only assume was the Namjoon mentioned before.

“Joonie, come on, stop that for a second and come meet Junghyun’s brother!”

Jeongguk wondered for a second whether he’d always just be known as Junghyun’s brother.

Regardless, Namjoon walked over with a king smile on his face. Despite what Jin had said about the other being useless, Namjoon gave off a powerful authoritative aura. Maybe he was the leader of the friend group? It was a little intimidating, but not enough for Jeongguk to feel too uncomfortable in the other’s presence.

“Hey, Jeongguk! It’s great to finally meet you. How much upper body strength do you have? Because I can’t lift this keg for the life of me.”

Jeongguk couldn’t help but laugh a little at the other’s words, finally pulling away from Taehyung’s reassuring arm and walking with Namjoon over to the keg, working together with him to lift it and put it on the island counter that separated the living area from the kitchen so the spout hovered over empty air.

“Perfect, you’re stronger than I am.”

Jeongguk could only blush a little, unable to get any words out at the compliment.

“Ggukie, you’ve met everyone now!” Taehyung exclaimed. “Well, almost everyone. But Yoon-hyung never helps out beforehand so he’ll be around later.”

Namjoon nodded a little at the younger. “Yeah, Byeol-hyung and Hyun-hyung are on their way over now. Then we’ll start having people arrive for the party.”

“If they trash my house we won’t be holding it here again.”

“But here is so much nicer than our dorms are! Remind me again why you live in the dorm and not here?”

“Because then I wouldn’t be able to sleep until 5 minutes before my class started and still make it in time.”

“The man has a point!” Taehyung pipped in, laughing a little at his contribution.

Jeongguk couldn’t help but smile at the interaction. They all seemed to just be… friends. Friends just hanging out, not expecting anything of each other. Jin and Namjoon hadn’t even really looked in Jiyong’s direction, so it appeared they didn’t really like him too much either.

Hoseok’s phone rang, the man who had previously not really said much as Jeongguk was meeting the others stepping away to take it. Jeongguk heard the smile on the other’s lips, guessing it was probably Hyun the other was talking to. Within moments, the phone was away again and Hoseok was walking over to them.

“Hyun and Byeol are just outside, they’re going to let themselves in in a second.”

“I didn’t give them permission to do that.” Jin sighed, but there was no malice behind his words.

“You don’t need to, they do it every time.”

At the laugh coming from Hoseok, Jeongguk allowed himself a little laugh too. It certainly sounded like his brothers, such little respect for authority that they’d just let themselves in to their friend’s home without knocking. Although to be fair, they had called to warn they were going to, so it wasn’t too disrespectful.

Moments later, the door opened and his brother and surrogate brother walked in, Junghyun walking straight towards his younger brother and wrapping him up in a tight hug.

“Look at you, putting yourself out of your comfort zone already!” He smiled, rocking Jeongguk a little too much for the younger’s liking. He was an adult, not a baby.

“I didn’t really get a choice.”

“Uh,” Jimin pipped up, grabbing the Jeon brother’s attention. “You did get a choice, I offered to stay home with you.”

Byeol laughed a little at that, putting his hand on Jimin’s shoulder. “That wasn’t a choice for Jeongguk, he’d rather make himself uncomfortable than make you miss out on having fun, but I’m sure he appreciated the offer.”

Jeongguk blushed brightly at Byeol calling him out in such a way.

“Okay!” Jin announced to the group that were now just gathered twiddling their thumbs in the living area. “Enough chitter chatter, we have work to do before people start arriving. Grab cups from the kitchen, move kegs out of the way and get those valuables into cupboards out of sight! Then you can grab a drink if you want and we can get this party started!”

———

By the time an hour had passed, Taehyung was very drunk. Namjoon, Junghyun and Byeol weren’t too far behind him either. The odd drink here and there while setting up had hit Taehyung like a ton of bricks, and Jeongguk would be incredibly surprised if the other actually made it too far into the party without falling asleep in a corner.

People had begun arriving now, face after face that Jeongguk didn’t know walking into Jin’s house, who’s door was not propped open to let all the people in without knocking every single time, and the party was officially getting into full swing. Music was playing, the place was crowded, people were drinking and yelling, it was enough to spike Jeongguk’s heart up to a solid level 6 before much else had happened.

It hadn’t taken too long for his drunk brothers to set up a beer pong table on the kitchen island, and Junghyun had dragged Jeongguk over to watch. At first, he’d wanted the younger to participate with him, but at Gguk’s refusal, he hadn’t pushed the matter, simply playing with Byeol.

The blue haired boy of the two was obviously winning as Hyun simply got drunker and his aim got worse, but Hyun was still getting a good few shots in and making Byeol drink his own fair share too.

Despite the anxiety coiling in his stomach, Jeongguk couldn’t deny the fact it was amusing to watch the others have fun. It was loud and overwhelming, to the point where Jeongguk half wanted to take his aids out just to make the world a little quieter, but seeing so many people have fun and pay little to no attention to him was amusing.

As long as the attention stayed off him that was.

Jiyong had come over to the beer pong table a few times, and hade made a comment or two about how sober Jeongguk was and how boring that made the freshman, but Jeongguk had ignored him, and Jiyong had backed off after a lovely harsh flare from both his brothers hit the senior at the same time.

At least he had his brothers with him to keep him safe.

As soon as the beer pong game had finished though, no more red cups filled with the amber liquid left to down, Jiyong had stood on the couch in the living area, despite Jin’s annoyed yell to get down, and made an announcement.

“Everyoneeee! Well, not everyone, my friend group. Everyone not in my friend group can fuck off. It’s truth or dare time! You have like, a minute and a half to get over here otherwise I’ll kick your ass and you’ll automatically forfeit and get the worst dare my drunk brain can think of! Got it? I’m counting! 90…89…88…85…wait…”

Jeongguk smiled a little as he watched his brothers hurry over to their fellow senior, Hoseok, Jin and Namjoon not too far behind.

Jeongguk decided to stay where he was though, not 100% convinced he counted as part of Jiyong’s friendship group. The senior obviously didn’t like him very much, and he really didn’t want to start the older yelling at him just because he assumed he could join in. As much as truth or dare sounded like fun, it also sounded like a recipe for disaster.

He didn’t end up being allowed a choice in the matter though, as Namjoon came over and linked arms with Jeongguk, pulling him over to the group now sat in a circle on the floor without so much as a second thought.

Jeongguk could have probably gotten away if he’d tried, but he didn’t really want to upset his new friends this early on.

“Okay, here we go with the rules! I’ll go first, and I get to choose who I call on! From then we’ll go around the circle and pick whoever we want, okay? That’s fair!”

“I mean, it’s not really fair if you get to choose whoever you want.” Jin pointed out. “It means someone could get picked on. You should have to give a truth or a dare to people in a patterned circle too!”

“Nah, my game, my rules!”

Jin simply signed. “Whatever you say, Jiyong.”

Jiyong began talking, directing his truth or dare question towards something else in the circle. Jeongguk didn’t really pay attention to who, as he was immediately distracted by someone sitting in the space between himself and Namjoon.

The man looked familiar, weirdly, but he was still a stranger. Definitely no-one Jeongguk knew by name. But after staring at him for a second, Jeongguk was able to put a face to a situation.

It was the boy Jeongguk had fallen into during registration while getting his dorm keys, the one who had caught him and stopped him landing directly on his face.

Jeongguk felt the heat rush to his face as embarrassment took over his thought process, unable to focus on anything that was going on in the room around him at that point, until the said boy who had put him into the embarrassed state spoke up.

“Jeongguk, right?”

At the younger’s nod, the man continued.

“I’m Min Yoongi, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Yoongi said nothing else, simply looking out into the circle and paying attention to the game that Jeongguk was struggling to.

The blonde next to him was so attractive that it was distracting, his voice was deep and smooth, like honey, and he hadn’t even mentioned the fact Jeongguk had fallen on him. Maybe it was so insignificant to the other that he’d forgotten? Maybe people fell on him in crowded rooms all the time.

“Jeongguk!” Jiyong’s annoyed voice ripped Jeongguk from his thoughts as his heart rate spiked. “Pay attention. Because of that, you’re forfeiting your turn and now I get it instead.”

Oh, it must have been Jeongguk’s turn to give someone a truth or a dare. Whoops.

“Now…truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“How many people shut you our of their lives when you came out as gay?”

Colour immediately drained from the younger’s face as he felt everyone’s eyes turn to him. Of course, Junghyun and Byeol had already known about his sexuality, but that had been about it. He didn’t exactly go around broadcasting it.

So how had Jiyong known? Had he read him and figured it out?

Had Hyun betrayed his trust and told the other?

“I-I…um…”

“Answer the question, Jeongguk, or you get a dare instead.”

Jeongguk’s face just got hotter as he struggled to find any words, his heart racing a mile a minute in his chest. Was the room suddenly smaller? Where was all the air going?”

He felt Namjoon’s hand on his arm, asking if he was okay, but Jeongguk could barely process the other was there. Yoongi was talking to him too, but Jeongguk couldn’t process any of the words the blonde was saying to him.”

“Look at this wuss, can’t even answer the first question.”

“Because you outed him in front of everyone!” Hyun yelled back at the other, anger evident in his voice. Hearing his brother’s temper flare, and Byeol for once not doing anything to try and calm the other down, Jeongguk managed to snap out of the anxiety attack threatening to overwhelm him.”

“I-It’s okay, Hyung, I’m okay.”

Junghyun turned to look at the other, anger still behind his eyes, but sympathy there too. He was trying to read Jeongguk, trying to see if the younger was really okay. But Jeongguk had locked the emotions he was feeling away, behind his eyes where no-one could read them anymore.

“You’re taken too long to answer, so now you’re getting a dare.” Jiyong announced, looking directly at Jeongguk and seeing what buttons he was managing to push.

Seeing nothing in the other’s eyes, Jiyong continued.

“I dare you to kiss Yoongi.”

Immediately, the others in the group voiced their opinions against that. Even Jin and Namjoon, who didn’t know the youngest that well yet, were angered at the dare. It was obvious the other was nervous and had just brought himself back from the brink of a panic attack, and now Jiyong was trying to break that and put him back in that place by trying to force him to do something far out of his comfort zone.

“Don’t be such an asshole, Jiyong! You just outed him in front of everyone, now you’re trying to get off on your own sick sadism by making him feel even more uncomfortable?!” Junghyun yelled at the other.

“Exactly! He barely knows Yoongi, he’s not going to kiss him!” Byeol joined in, while Jimin crawled over to Jeongguk and rubbed his back, mumbling soothing words to him.

Without a word, Yoongi stood up, turning towards Jeongguk with a strange look in his eyes.

A few moments passed, the other still telling Jiyong off, who still just looked smug where he sat, before Yoongi spoke.

“Stand up then.”

If Jeongguk could get any paler, he did, before slowly getting to his feet, knees trembling as he did. Namjoon grabbed hold of Jeongguk’s hand, trying to tell him he didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to, but Jeongguk didn’t say anything in response as Yoongi leaned closer, giving Jeongguk the opportunity to fulfil the dare given to him.

Jeongguk then took a step bad, away from Yoongi and breaking out of the circle of friends.

“I’m not playing this game.” Jeongguk said with such absolute that Junghyun was a little impressed with the younger’s self preservation and confidence, before Jeongguk began to walk away from the others.

Jimin was immediately on his feet, following his new young friend with Junghyun and Byeol directly behind him.

The trio almost lost the maknae through the crowds of people in the home, but managed to keep an eye on the back of Jeongguk’s head and followed him out of the house.

“Gguk!” Jimin exclaimed, pushing his way through the last few people separating him and Jeongguk before getting to his side, reaching to wrap Jeongguk in a hug which the younger flinched away from. “Are you okay? Jiyong is such an asshole I’m so sorry.”

“I’m fine,” Was Jeongguk’s response, but from the fast paced breathing coming from the youngest, the trio that had followed him knew that wasn’t entirely the case.

“Jeongguk, number.” Byeol demanded as he got to his younger brother’s side, not going in for a hug like he wanted to, but giving him his space until he knew the next course of action.

“8.”

Junghyun’s own heart fluttered in his chest at the number. It wasn’t often Jeongguk got that high. 8 was in a full blown panic attack, but looking at the young raven, you wouldn’t be able to tell. Outwardly, Jeongguk was calm despite the shaking in his hands, but both Junghyun and Byeol knew that he’d locked his emotions away, the blank gaze on his face was enough to confirm that for them.

“8? What does 8 mean?”

“It means he’s having a panic attack. We need to get him somewhere quiet and calm so he can calm down.” Junghyun said, suddenly a lot more sober after Jeongguk had been made to feel so small by his group of friends.

Ignoring Jeongguk’s flinch, Junghyun grabbed his little brother’s arm, and pulled him away from the party.

———

Half an hour later, Jeongguk was sat back in his dorm room. Not in his own room, however, Jimin had pulled him into his and Taehyung’s.

Jeongguk wasn’t arguing with him though, in his own room there were signs of Jiyong there. Signs of the person who had thrown him into such a tense, emotional state. He didn’t know if he could face that particular senior for a while.

His breathing had calmed down a little, and the blankness in his gaze had faded a little. Junghyun had removed the other’s hearing aids, to help him settle a little on his own without having to try and listen on what was going on around him, and that had seemed to have helped once they were somewhere Jeongguk felt more safe. Now, Jeongguk had been left sat cross legged on Jimin’s bed, the said boy next to him with his hand resting on Jeongguk’s knee, his brother sat behind him with his hands on Jeongguk’s shoulders, and Byeol knelt in front of him, holding a cup of steaming tea while Jeongguk trembled, getting through the after shocks of the panic attack.

“I-I’m sorry,”

Jimin shook his head, squeezing the knee he held lightly, both to reassure and pull Jeongguk’s attention to him.

“Don’t be sorry,” Jimin spoke clearly, so Jeongguk could read his lips better. “Jiyong is an asshole, he shouldn’t have outed you like that. It wasn’t his secret to tell.”

Junghyun nodded a little, rubbing firmer at his brother’s shoulders. “How did he even know?”

“I don’t think he did,” Byeol said quietly, breathing in the steam of the tea as he looked at the floor, trying his best to ignore the stabs of upset for his surrogate baby brother in his chest. “I think he was just testing the waters to see how Jeongguk would react, and when he realised he’d hit a nerve, he ran with it.”

Junghyun nodded a little, before going back to comforting his brother.

“What level are we at now?” Jimin questioned with a smile.

“5, maybe a 6.” Jeongguk mumbled, leaning back into his brother’s grip.”

“That’s better than what we were at earlier, at least.” Byeol smiled.

Jeongguk nodded, but said nothing else.

“I’m going to text Taehyung, I’ll see if he’ll stay in your room tonight so you can stay in here with me. I don’t really want you around Jiyong right now.”

Jeongguk shook his head a little. “Don’t do that, I don’t want Taehyung to have to give up his bed.”

“Then I’ll call Hoseok.” Junghyun pipped up after tapping lightly on Jeongguk’s shoulder. “He’s got his own room after all, I’ll ask if you can sleep on his floor. He’s got a blow up mattress in there anyway.”

“Will he be okay with that?” Jeongguk questioned, voice so small it sounded like you could shatter it like glass.

“I’m sure he will.”

A few minutes later, Junghyun had finished his phone conversation with Hoseok, and it was confirmed. Jeongguk was staying in Hoseok’s room that night, away from Jiyong.

But after his tea was drank, Jimin was cuddled into his side and his brothers a reassuring presence around him, Jeongguk felt the exhaustion of the after shocks ending engulf him. It didn’t take long before the maknae was sound asleep, using his brother behind him as a pillow.

Two days came and went in a blur. Before Jeongguk knew it, classes had started and he was sat in a large lecture hall, surrounded by countless people he didn’t know. It seemed no-one in the group of friends he was beginning to find himself wedged in was doing the same major as him. Then again, even if they were, would they even be in the same lectures as him?

Probably not. He had to remember he was the youngest of the group, the only freshman out of all of them.

Jeongguk tried to forget about the party a few nights before. It had ended in disaster of course, but he’d gotten closer to Jimin and Hoseok since then. Not to mention Taehyung, who once he’d gotten home, steaming drink if Jeongguk had anything to say about it, he’d spilled to Jeongguk that he hated Jiyong for what he did and his sexuality didn’t change the fact any of them wanted to be friends with him.

That had made him a little weepy, but Jeongguk took the drunk ramblings with a smile and helped Taehyung tend to his hangover the next morning.

Jiyong hadn’t said anything to him at all. After the first night, Jeongguk had spent every night on the air mattress in Hoseok’s room, too anxious to go back into his own room and be with the cruel senior.

But neither of them seemed too upset with that. Jiyong had gotten the solo room he wanted, and Hoseok didn’t seem too upset to have the company.

Jeongguk snapped back to attention as he heard the telltale sounds of people packing away, getting up and shuffling out of the hall. Looking down at his notebook, Jeongguk realised he hadn’t taken any notes the whole class, which probably wasn’t the best start. The younger would have to try and focus more on his studies if he wanted to get anywhere with his course.

He couldn’t let his friendship group, or at least the troubles within it, affect his grades.

Grabbing his notebook and shoving it into his backpack, Jeongguk began getting up and heading out of the hall. He had a few hours until his next lecture with a different professor, so maybe he’d be able to sort his head out before that one. Screw his mind back on so he could focus and start learning like he was meant to be.

Maybe sit in a the coffee shop, take his aids out so he could sit in relative silence, drink some caffeine and maybe have a look online to find anything he’d missed. Although he was doubtful that the first lecture of the year would matter too much overall.

Stepping out of his lecture hall, giving the professor a small bow as he left, Jeongguk soon found that fate had other plans for his two hour break as a familiar blonde was suddenly stood in front of him.

Yoongi always looked a little scary, and Jeongguk couldn’t really read his expression too well as he got stared down. Was it ice in his gaze, or warmth? Hared or fondness? Jeongguk had no clue, but regardless stepped to the side to try and go around the other currently blocking his path. When Yoongi stepped the same way however, still affectively blocking him, Jeongguk gave a small, defeated sigh.

“What is it, hyung?” He questioned, not looking up to make eye contact with the other.

Yoongi simply gave a small smirk. “You have a break now?”

Jeongguk frowned, now lifting his gaze to meet the other’s. “Yeah… why?”

“Let’s go talk.”

Jeongguk didn’t have time to respond before Yoongi had hold of his arm, pulling him through the crowd of students around them until they were out a pair of side doors into a small, quiet courtyard. Nothing really appeared to be there, just a few benches and trees that didn’t seem to be populated often with the minimal amount of energy drink cans or crisp packets around.

“What’s this all about?” Jeongguk asked, wiggling a little to get his arm free but not trying too hard for fear of offending Yoongi or hurting his wrist against the grip.

“Maybe I just wanted to see you.” Yoongi smiled, releasing Jeongguk’s wrist. The younger still couldn’t read the older’s expression, was the smile malicious like Jiyong’s tended to be, or soft like Jimin’s?

“O…okay…?” Jeongguk queried, now looking anywhere but the other’s face as blood rushed to his own. “But why? We’ve only met once before.”

“Yeah, but that was not really during the best situation, and I wanted to make sure you were okay. Jimin said you haven’t really wanted to talk to anyone since the party.”

“Can you blame me? Jiyong made a fool out of me in front of everyone and outed me without permission. Do I really want to be part of a friend group like that?”

Yoongi’s smile fell at the words, fading into a frown instead. “First of all, that’s Jiyong-HYUNG to you. Second of all, everyone was drunk, and I’m sure he didn’t mean to upset you like that. First impressions aren’t everything after all. If you give him a chance, I’m sure he’ll open up to you and you’ll start liking him more.”

Jeongguk simply shook his head, stepping away from Yoongi so the older couldn’t grab hold of him again. Feeling a surge of confidence, he wasn’t really sure where it was coming from, but Jeongguk knew it was more than likely just self preservation at this point. “I’m done with this conversation. I have stuff to do. See you around, Yoongi-hyung.”

Yoongi didn’t say anything as Jeongguk walked away.

———

When Jeongguk got back to the dorm after his second lecture, of which he’d managed to focus a lot better in, the young maknae took himself into his own room. Not Hoseok’s, not Jimin and Taehyung’s, his own. He ignored the glare coming from Jiyong as he sat on his own, mostly unused bed and opened his notebook, intent to study in his own room in his own time.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Jiyong sneered from next to him.

“What do you mean, hyung?” Jeongguk asked innocently back, feeling his heart rate spike as he put a little sarcastic tone on the honorific. But he had to stand up for himself, or the people in the university would eat him up alive within the month.

“I’m busy, it’s obvious from the closed door that I wanted privacy.”

The ‘busy’ that Jiyong was claiming to be seemed to be more scrolling through Instagram on his phone, liking random girls’ photos.

“This is my room too, I have a right to be in here.” Jeongguk said back, before looking back in his notebook and going over his notes, pulling his text book out of his bag as he did to cross reference.

“Aren’t you rooming with Hoseok now?”

“Nope.”

“That’s not what I heard.”

“Well I shouldn’t be intimidated out of my own room by you and your friend trying to defend you.”

Jiyong’s face then twisted into a smirk, and unlike Yoongi’s, this one Jeongguk could read.

“Aw, Yoongi was trying to defend me was he? He spoke to you?”

“I’d really rather focus on my studies right now, some of us actually want to do well at this University. I’m going to stop listening to you now.”

Jeongguk had only taken his left aid out before he realised that really was the wrong thing to say as the smirk immediately dropped from the older’s face, being replaced with a gaze of hatred as Jiyong stood, walking over while his fists shook a little and raised towards Jeongguk.

The said raven couldn’t hide the flinch as his room door opened, Hoseok standing there.

“Hey, Gguk, what do you want fo-…” Hoseok’s words stopped as he took in Jiyong’s raised fist and Jeongguk’s panicked face, frowning towards the two. “What exactly is happening here?”

“This little freshman thinks he can mouth off to me and get away with it.”

“Are you seriously going to lay a hand on him? He’s just a kid.”

“A kid who needs to learn his place.”

Hoseok stayed silent for a second, his gaze never leaving Jiyong, until the senior’s fist dropped back down to his side. Then, Hoseok turned back to Jeongguk and turned his face back into a comfortable smile.

“What do you want for dinner? Junghyun is coming over and bringing food.”

“Oh, um… anything is fine, Hobi-hyung.” Jeongguk mumbled, his confidence boost now faded after the shock of his face very nearly connecting with a very angry fist. He played absentmindedly with his removed aid, not really enjoying the feeling of only being able to hear out of one ear but not yet ready to either put it back in or take the other one out. “Whatever you two are getting, I’ll have something from there. I don’t mind what.”

Hoseok gave a smile, shaking his head and walking over, pulling Jeongguk to his feet. “Come on, bring your work to the living area with us and we’ll watch something. Junghyun specifically wanted you to choose something for us to eat. We’ll put subtitles on for you too, if you want to be in quiet for a while.”

Jeongguk nodded, getting up and following Hoseok as he was told. He’d tried to stand up for himself, tried to stand his ground, and still ended up being bullied out of his own room.

He didn’t even know what he could do about it, either. Go to a teacher? He didn’t want to be seen as a little cry baby who couldn’t handle a little bit of light bullying. He could take it. It wouldn’t be forever after all, Jiyong would be gone by the end of the year. He just had to get through his first year, then Jiyong would be gone.

His brother and Byeol would also be gone too, but Jeongguk didn’t really want to think about that part of his first year ending.

Once he was in the main living area and sat on the couch, Hoseok placed himself next to the youngest and watched at Jeongguk took out his second hearing aid with a smile. He put a few of Jeongguk’s text books on the coffee table in front of them and then got his phone out, texting who Jeongguk could only assume was Hyun.

Hoseok then tapped Jeongguk’s shoulder, lifting the youngest’s gaze away from his notebook. “Yeah, no, Hyun says you have to make a decision or he’s just bringing some of what Jin made for their own dorm.”

Jeongguk just gave a little nod, his fight gone. “That sounds good.”

Junghyun arrived a little while later, sitting on the couch with his two brothers and putting the food down on the coffee table next to Jeongguk’s books. Jin had made Topokki and steamed rice, which smelled almost as good as it looked even in Tupperware containers. Byeol found a random movie on Netflix that Jeongguk had never heard of, and the youngest watched with a little smile as the older put the subtitles on for him so he could stay in silence, and he settled down for the night between his two favourite people, comfy and calm.

———

That night passed without too much of an issue. Jeongguk once again spent the night not in his own room, but instead in Jimin and Taehyung’s, lying on the floor in the cramped space between their two beds. Despite this, he slept well, as if nothing was going wrong in his lift. As if he wasn’t getting bullied by someone he hoped would be his friend by the end of the week rather than someone who fully hated his guts.

Taking a deep breath, Jeongguk walked to his first class of the day, and prepared himself to actually take notes this time.

But once again, blocking the door was the one and only Min Yoongi, smirking smugly at him as the younger tried to get into his class.

“This again?” Jeongguk questioned, glancing up at the other. “I really need to get in there, my lecture starts in a few minutes.”

“Hmm…” Yoongi hummed, leaning against the wall and continuing to block the door anyway. “I don’t think you do, I think you should come with me again.”

“I told you this conversation was over. And considering Jiyong tried to hit me last night, you can’t really defend him much longer without making yourself look like a fool.”

“Ooh, our Jeongguk has become a feisty one has he? Talking back, that’s new for you.”

Jeongguk simply rolled his eyes, trying to push Yoongi lightly out of the way before realising the older was too strong for that, the only thing he got was his wrist grabbed again.

Jeongguk sighed, resigning himself to his fate of being dragged away yet again. Goodbye straight As, hello minimum wage job that isn’t being a doctor. His parents were going to be so upset with him.

Of course, Yoongi did just as the other expected, pulling Jeongguk away from his lecture and back into the outside courtyard before letting go of him.

“Look, again,” Yoongi started once they’d stopped, putting himself down on a bench. “I just wanted to see if you were okay. I agree what Jiyong did was shitty, but he was drunk.”

“He wasn’t drunk last night.”

“He probably was to be fair, Jiyong is always drunk.”

Jeongguk rolled his eyes again, and turned to leave once more.

“Look, please just hear me out. Alright? I don’t mean to defend him, just… put his side across. I feel like we got off on the wrong foot, and you seem nice. I don’t want you to feel shoved out of the friend group just because Ji is being a bit of an ass to you. The rest of us like you, and I don’t think you can avoid all of us.”

“You know, you’re really phrasing this apology like a threat.”

“I didn’t mean to phrase it that way, I’m sorry.” Yoongi said, sounding actually sincere enough for Jeongguk to properly look at him. He still couldn’t read the other, but it was getting to the point where he could gauge varying emotions. And Yoongi at least seemed to be a little sorry.

“I just mean that, you live with several members of that friend group, unless you’re going to completely shut yourself out from the world around you, you’re going to see us. So, you’re going to have a better time if you just… let us in. Get it?”

“Still sounding like a threat.” Jeongguk reasoned. “If I don’t want to associate with various people who are your friends, or my friends’ friends, I don’t have to. I have my brothers, I have Hoseok-hyung, and Jimin-hyung and Taehyung. I don’t need anyone else really. I quite like Namjoon-hyung and Jin-hyung, but so far… Jiyong had done nothing but make my life a misery and it’s only been a few days, and all you’ve done is defend him and make apologies sound like threats. I don’t really see any benefit to trying to keep this going. Get it?”

Yoongi just frowned a little at him, but said nothing in response.

“Now, I’m going to class. Please stop these little impromptu meetings.”

Turning on his heel, Jeongguk once again left, leaving Yoongi sat in the courtyard alone.

———

Despite the fact he had gone to class, Jeongguk still managed to get in trouble for being late. He didn’t really see the point in trying to explain himself, so just took the punishment without question. He got through his class, sat peacefully in the coffee shop during his break, and got through his second class without any more issues. No meetings of Yoongi or Jiyong. Byeol had come and spent his break in the coffee shop with him, but hadn’t tried to talk nor force Jeongguk to. They’d sat in silence, just enjoying each other’s company.

So when Jeongguk got back to the dorm after all his classes and walked into the living area to find Yoongi sat on the couch with Jiyong, he felt dread bubble in his stomach.

Hoseok looked up from the couch, face dropping when he saw Jeongguk entering. He was sat next to Yoongi, not next to Jiyong, but it still confused the youngest a little seeing them all buddy buddy.

But he had to remember, even with Hoseok defending him from Jiyong, they were still friends. They had a right to hang out.

At least that meant his room was free for him to sit in peace on his own.

Saying nothing to the trio on the couch, Jeongguk walked straight past towards his room, only to feel what was becoming a very familiar hand grabbing hold of his wrist for what felt like the 100th time this week.

“Hey, aren’t you going to say hi to your hyungs?”

Despite the grip on his wrist being familiar, very obviously Yoongi’s small hand, the voice that spoke wasn’t. It was Jiyong, in his normal, sneering tone.

“Hi, hyungs. I’ve got catch up work to do since I was late to my first lecture, so I’ll be in my room.”

Hoseok frowned a little at the comment, getting up from his seat and walking over, which caused Jeongguk to turn a little, and gave a small glare to Yoongi who actually looked a little hurt at the glance.

“You were late for class? Why? You left with plenty of time. Byeol said you weren’t very talkative during your break earlier, had your aids out again and everything. Did something happen? Are you okay?”

“Does everyone just talk about me behind my back?” The words came out harsher than he meant them to, especially being directed towards his favourite person currently in the room. “First Yoongi-hyung is blocking me from going where I want to, or need to, and dragging me around all the time, now you’re all talk about me? Is it so bad that I just want to get my degree and move on? Let it go, hyung.”

Pulling his hand from Yoongi’s grip and flinching a little as he did, feeling the fingers bruise the delicate skin on his wrist, Jeongguk walked into his room, and slammed the door behind him.

———

Jeongguk was left alone for a few hours following his outburst. Of course, his outburst had nothing on what other people had. People like Jiyong, who during his last outburst had almost punched Jeongguk in the face.

It took a while for Jeongguk to start feeling bad at the way he’d raised his voice at Hoseok. It wasn’t his brother’s boyfriend’s fault that he was getting attacked and now stalked all during his first week. The older was just looking out for him, going against his friends to do so.

He’d have to apologise once he was done working.

But Jeongguk didn’t get chance to do that, because he felt the vibrations of the main door for the dorm be slammed closed, and it was only moments later that his door was opening just a crack, revealing Hoseok.

And behind him, Yoongi.

Immediately noticing that Jeongguk was bare-eared, the older started signing to him. It wasn’t fully fleshed out words, Hoseok seemed to only know letters and was spelling out what he wanted to say, but Jeongguk appreciated it all the same.

‘G-g-u-k, c-a-n I t-a-l-k t-o y-o-u?’

The younger sighed, shaking his head and reaching over, placing his aids back in just so he didn’t have to try and understand Hoseok’s letter signing.

“Are you going to tell me off for being disrespectful? Because if so, I’m really sorry I’m really stressed out and I just can’t deal with a lot right now I’m really sorry Hyung please don’t be mad at me.”

Hoseok gave a soft smile, shaking his head and walking in, sitting next to Jeongguk on the bed while Yoongi hung around in the door way.

“Jiyong’s left for the night, something about a girl in another dorm he’s going to stay with for the night. I didn’t ask for details. I just wanted to see if you’re alright. I know I haven’t known you long, but even I know that was a little out of character.”

Jeongguk gave a small nod, blinking back tears and looking down to his trembling hands.

“5.”

“Do you need me to get Hyun?”

When Jeongguk shook his head in a negative, Hoseok continued.

“What’s stressing you out so much? Is it just Uni work or is there something else going on?”

Biting his lip, Jeongguk shrugged. “I don’t really know what it is…I hate not being able to sleep in my own room, I hate the fact everyone is having to keep an eye on me and Jiyong-hyung, I hate the fact you’re all talking about me. I just want to be a normal uni student, I just want to be able to sleep in my own bed and not on the floor of my friends’ rooms. I want to be able to go to class and not worry about what’s going to happen afterwards. I’m just…stressed.”

“Well, let me know if I can do anything to help you, okay?”

At Jeongguk’s nod of agreement, Hoseok stood, heading out of the room and back into the living area. Yoongi hesitated for a second, staring at Jeongguk. Both seemed to be waiting for the other to say something.

“If I’m making you uncomfortable, I’m sorry.” Yoongi eventually said.

“It’s…it’s okay… just… stop stalking me, okay?” Jeongguk asked, lifting his gaze to meet Yoongi’s oddly sad one.

“Got it.”

“Why were you doing that, anyway…?”

“I just…” Yoongi sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I’m not good with these things. I think you’re pretty cute, and we got off on the wrong foot. I wanted to try and make it up to you.”

“You…” Jeongguk hesitated, face turning pink. “You think I’m cute?”

“Duh, why do you think Jiyong outed you like that? Yeah he was being a dick, but I think he could see I found you attractive, so he was trying to make sure I could go for it. I’m pretty sure that’s where the whole dare to kiss me thing came from too. I can’t deny it was a dick move, but I honestly think he was just trying to help me. Like I said, I’m not good with these things.”

“So…you just want me to hang out with you?”

Now Yoongi had his turn to turn pink.

“I guess.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, after class. No stopping me from going to class, no grabbing me and pulling me away. I’ll meet with you after, okay?”

“Okay.”

“So, when are we going out?”

Yoongi’s question filtered through the air and through his aids where Jeongguk was looking over his notes from class the day before. Since their talk a few days before, Jeongguk had seen Yoongi every day. The first day Yoongi had simply met him out of class and they’d drank a coffee before Yoongi had gone to his own class. Then Yoongi had met him after his own class and they’d sat in the courtyard until the sun set, just talking about everything and anything. This day, however, it was a Saturday. Neither of them had classes, most of the dorm had gone out for the weekend to a fair nearby. Jeongguk had been offered to go to the fair with them, but had refused on the account of he had a lot of work to do, and he hated how loud the fair usually was.

Yoongi had offered to stay and help him with his work, and despite the fact Jeongguk had first refused, Yoongi had been stubborn, insisting on keeping the younger company.

“I’ve got a lot of work to do, hyung.” Jeongguk replied, not looking up from his notebook. “Don’t you have work to do too? You’re two years above me, surely Juniors have more work than the freshmen do.”

“I suppose,” Yoongi mused, scrolling through his phone. “But it’s pretty simple stuff. Look at the evidence, catch the bad guy, case closed.”

“I’m sure Criminology is more complicated than that.” When Yoongi shrugged, Jeongguk allowed himself a small laugh at the other’s reaction. “You really don’t care about your major, huh?”

“I do…” Yoongi started, although his tone didn’t seem convinced. “It’s just not what I want to do with my life, I’d rather put more of my time into my music than into a career that will only be a day job. It doesn’t matter if I get high grades, as long as I pass.”

This caused Jeongguk to frown a little, putting his notebook down and sitting up a little straighter. “Your music?”

Yoongi nodded, but didn’t seem to be elaborating further, so Jeongguk supposed he better nudge the older a little more.

“What type of music?”

“I write raps, mostly. But I’ve just started learning how to compose, and that’s sort of taking precedence right now. I want to get my current track perfect, and Uni work is getting in the way of that.”

“Then…why aren’t you working on it right now, hyung?” Jeongguk tried to keep his tone light so he didn’t sound mean. “You’re hanging out with me when you could be doing something you love?”

“Because I want to spend time with you, and you’re busy, so I’ll sit here and work on lyrics while I wait for you to not be busy anymore.”

A blush rising to his cheeks, Jeongguk turned away a little and tried to hide how pink his cheeks had actually gotten. After all, he didn’t want Yoongi to know quite how much of an effect the older had on him just yet.

“I don’t know when my next time without homework or studying is going to be so we can go out somewhere, hyung, I’m sorry.”

Yoongi sighed, sitting up on Jiyong’s bed where he’d been lounging. “Then why don’t we turn this into our first official date?” As blood flushed Jeongguk’s cheeks even brighter, Yoongi gave the younger a small smile.

“We’re just sat in my room, not doing a lot.”

“So? Study date. I’ll help you with your studying, maybe do a little of my own. We can order pizza in a little bit, just relax and enjoy ourselves. What do you say?”

“Is this you asking me out on a date?”

“I literally just said that this could be our first official date.”

“I know but I didn’t think you meant official official.”

“Jeongguk,” Yoongi got up from the bed, moving over and sitting in front of Jeongguk on the floor, looking straight up into the younger’s eyes. “I like you. We had this conversation before. I don’t care if all our dates are spent sat in a room with you trying to figure out how the human brain works. I want to spend time with you and get to know you better. So this is now our first official date.”

Taking a deep breath to steady his racing heart, for once not from the disaster his anxiety made him, Jeongguk willed his face to go back to its natural light colour instead of the beet red it had become.

“O-okay, Yoongi-hyung… okay…”

With those words, Yoongi smiled, getting up and putting himself back on to Jiyong’s bed as Jeongguk turned back to his work, although his mind wasn’t really on it any more. They stayed silent for a few minutes, Yoongi typing on the notepad on his phone and Jeongguk reading through his text book. Or, he pretended to, as after reading the same line 6 times he decided his brain wasn’t really in to it anymore.

“So… you do Criminology… what about the others?”

“I mean… that’s more of a question for them. But I guess I could tell you as far as I know, it doesn’t hurt. You know I’m doing Criminology. Jimin is doing… Pharmaceutics, I think? Something in the medicine field like that. Taehyung is training to be a Primary school teacher and studying education, Namjoon is in Photography with your brother and Jin is doing fine art. Did I miss anyone…?”

“Hoseok-hyung…?”

“Oh, he’s doing media. Which is both great and annoying since that would be perfect for me, but it means I get to use his studio when I need to record, so it works out fine.”

Jeongguk gave a little nod, trying to process the information he’d just been given.

“Everyone looks like they’re doing well at their majors anyway. I mean, they all passed their exams until this far at least.”

Yoongi gave another smile, shaking his head. “Nah, not necessarily. There was a guy last year who became part of our little group. In fact, I think he was doing Psychology too. We never really called him his actual name, he was always just Buttercup to us. He was a freshman last year, but failed his exams and ended up dropping out. I guess he dropped out anyway, he hasn’t come back this year.”

Jeongguk paled a little at the words. He knew he wanted his blush to fade, but all the blood leaving his face instead wasn’t his intention. “H-He flunked Psychology…?”

Yoongi nodded. “But that doesn’t necessarily mean you will you know. Loads of people pass it every year, he just didn’t really have what it took, that’s all. I’ve seen how much you’re working at it, how hard you’re trying to do well. You’re going to do great, I promise it.”

Blushing again, wondering if the reason he was a little dizzy was more because of the blood rushing in and out of his face so often while hanging out with Yoongi, or because his anxiety was going crazy. Jeongguk allowed himself a little nod.

“I appreciate it… hyung, thank you.”

With the air cleared a little, Jeongguk focused back into his school books, allowing his focus to drift back to his studying. He was already passing where the classes had taken him, but he’d rather be ahead than behind after all. They worked in silence for a while, Yoongi mumbling to himself every now and again. Jeongguk assumed it was to see if the words were flowing in the way he wanted them to when he’d written them down. But Jeongguk couldn’t help but find it adorable, listening to the deep raspiness of Yoongi’s voice moving through the motions. Even from just the little bit he could hear, he couldn’t deny that Yoongi was a good rapper. His voice was perfect for it, and his rhythm flowed well.

Noticing himself to be distracted again, this time staring at Yoongi’s lips as they moved, Jeongguk quickly snapped his attention back to his work.

This might be an official date, but it was still a study date, he still had to do what he was meant to do.

Two hours passed before either of them spoke again. At least, Yoongi finally spoke after hearing Jeongguk’s stomach make demonic noises for the past half hour.

“What do you want?”

Jeongguk, attention being pulled from his work, looking up with a face of confusion. “Huh?”

“Toppings wise? I’m ordering us pizza, I can hear your stomach from here.”

Jeongguk shook his head, turning back to his work. “I can’t ask you to order me pizza, I’ll be fine, I’ll cook later.”

“I’m not asking if you want pizza, I’m telling you we’re getting pizza. I’m paying, what toppings do you want?”

Glancing up but not lifting his head, Jeongguk allowed himself a little smile. “I’ll eat anything. Get what you want, and I’ll have a slice or two.”

Yoongi nodded before turning back to his phone, this time Jeongguk could see from his angle that the other was now on the pizza website, adding things to his basket.

He tried to not focus on the way Yoongi’s fingers moved so smoothly against the screen. Tried to not focus on the way Yoongi’s tongue was stuck out a little in concentration.

He couldn’t be staring at his hyung like this.

Turning back to his notebook, Jeongguk listened to the tapping of the keys on Yoongi’s phone more than focusing on his school work. Which probably wasn’t the safest thing he’d ever done. Yoongi being around was the most distracting thing he’d found at Uni so far.

“Food’s ordered, it shouldn’t be too long until it gets here. We’re looking about 15, 20 minutes. So finish u0p what you’re doing, because once food is here you’re taking a break.” Yoongi then put his phone down, giving Jeongguk a serious look. “You haven’t stopped working all day and you’re going to burn yourself out and get sick. You need to take a break. We’ll watch a film on Netflix or something as we eat, okay?”

Jeongguk simply gave a nod, knowing he was working a lot and not willing to argue with his hyung that he was fine. He had the immune system of a beast.

Well, if that beast was tiny, weak, and got sick as soon as there was the slightest sniffle near him.

“Okay, I’ll finish up before food gets here.”

Turning back to his book, Jeongguk once again poured all of his focus into the notebook, trying to not let Yoongi distract him any further.

———

It wasn’t too much later that the door knocked, pretty close to the 20 minutes Yoongi had claimed it would take. Yoongi stood first, leaving the bedroom and heading out into the main living area, opening the door and taking two pizza boxes and a bag of other items from the driver and handing him some notes. Jeongguk watched as the two conversed easily, Yoongi’s face twisting into a small, pure smile.

Moments later, the door was closed again, and Yoongi was back in the bedroom.

“Right, a deal is a deal. Put the books away and come into the living room. I’m plating up food now.”

Without waiting for Jeongguk’s response, the other headed out into the living area, leaving Jeongguk to watch him go. That was certainly a lot more than a single pizza.

But, Jeongguk did as he was told, packing most of his books away and getting off the bed. He could always read a little and get a little more done while watching the film though, right? It was still more relaxed, but he’d still be studying at least.

Picking up his most recent text book, Jeongguk headed out to the couch where Yoongi was setting up. On the coffee table, Jeongguk could see two large pizzas now open on the side, a side of garlic bread and fries also accompanying them. Yoongi had certainly gotten a lot more than a single pizza.

“That’s…a lot of food, Hyung.”

“Well you haven’t eaten all day. I would know, I’ve been with you. Now sit down and choose a film.”

Nodding and following what he was ordered to do, Jeongguk sat on the couch and took the remote, switching over to Netflix. From the looks of it, it was Hoseok’s account. But Junghyun had a profile on there too, and Jeongguk decided it would be the best bet to use that one as he clicked on it.

It hadn’t been too long at all before Yoongi joined him on the couch, grabbing a slice of pizza and putting it straight into his mouth, unaffected by the grease already on his hands.

“What kinda films do you like, hyung?”

“I’m a sucker for a good RomCom.”

That grabbed Jeongguk’s attention as he looked at the other. He hadn’t really clocked Yoongi as a RomCom kinda guy, more of an action or even a thriller kind of guy. But either way, Jeongguk nodded and decided to not argue it.

He didn’t want to offend Yoongi and ruin…whatever they were.

“Have you seen To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before?” Jeongguk asked, looking over.

“I have, but that was then it first came out, so it has been a little while. I wouldn’t mind watching it again, I remember it was cute.”

“It’s super cute. But the sequel is out now, I haven’t seen that one yet. Wanna go for that?”

When Yoongi nodded, Jeongguk scrolled over to the RomCom’s sequel and started it while grabbing his own slice of pizza. “Do…” Jeongguk hesitated, taking a deep breath and trying again. “Do you… do you mind if we put subtitles on? Its easier for me to process what I’m hearing if I can read it too.”

Yoongi looked surprised for a second, before his face settled into a soft smile. “Of course I don’t mind. You know, sometimes I forget you’re deaf. I mean, I knew you were, Junghyun told us when I first met him and joined the friend group, but you talk so clearly and because you wear your aids so much I forget.”

Jeongguk just shook his head a little with a smile. “Don’t worry about it. Even with my aids, I can’t hear perfectly, and I actually take them out quite a lot. Sometimes you just need…quiet, you know?” Jeongguk then turned the subtitles on and settled back down.

“I get it. Were you always deaf?”

Jeongguk shook his head, but didn’t verbalise anything. He guessed the older decided not to ask as they then fell into a comfortable silence.

They sat like that for a while, Jeongguk finding himself eating quite a bit more pizza than he’d originally meant to. Granted, he’d only eaten half of one of the two pizzas, but it was still more than he normally ate in one sitting after all. Yoongi was chilled out next to him, munching on fries as he watched the film in front of them.

Jeongguk was glad it was just the two of them. There was no Jiyong to try and berate them, there was no Jimin to get protective. No Hoseok to repeatedly ask if he was alright. It was just him and Yoongi, and Jeongguk found his shoulders losing their tense posture as they watched the film, slowly relaxing into the couch and he realised he didn’t have to put on an act at the moment. He wasn’t having to defend himself or act like he was fine through a panic attack. He could just sit and lose himself in the soft, romantic movie.

But that could only last for so long.

Anxiety always struck at some of the worst moments, when you least expected it.

Jeongguk didn’t always know what brought it on, sometimes it was nothing at all, his body just decided to rebel and put him in his place. Remind him that he wasn’t the ruler of his own body, that the illness he’d had since he was a child was. So while he was enjoying himself, full of pizza and relaxing into the cushions behind him, text book still in hand but forgotten about. Jeongguk felt the first tell tale spike of his heart rate in his chest.

Sitting up a little, Jeongguk frowned, feeling his throat get a little tighter as his heart continued to speed and tears came to his eyes.

“Gguk? Are you okay?” Yoongi asked from next to him, but Jeongguk barely heard the other. He knew words were being said, and he knew they were being directed towards him, but he had no idea what those words actually were, not really who had said them. Logically, Yoongi was the only one in the room with them, so he was the only one who could have said anything, but Jeongguk’s brain wasn’t working off logic right now as his hands shook and tears filled his unblinking eyes. As carefully as he could despite the shake in his fingers, Jeongguk unhooked his aids and pulled them from his ears, trying to stop the incessant squealing in his ears.

“Gguk, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

Jeongguk simply shook his head, able to read the older’s lips, but still not fully processing the words being directed towards him.

He simply held up 8 fingers towards Yoongi. He was in a full panic attack mode, triggered by nothing but his own brain rebelling against him.

“Okay, 8, so what do I do about that?”

Jeongguk shook his head again, breaths now only coming in small pants as he hyperventilated. Unable to catch his breath, that only made his panic worse. He couldn’t breathe, the room was closing in around him, everything felt fuzzy and out of focus. Nothing in the room was really any more. Nothing around him was actually there. Maybe even Yoongi was just a figment of his imagination. Maybe nothing happening was real around him.

Nothing was real. He was alone. He was scared. He couldn’t breathe. The room was closing around him. There’s no air. There’s no air. There’s no air.

A hand on his shoulder grabbed Jeongguk’s attention, Yoongi’s face swimming into view in front of his unfocused eyes.

“Hey, you’re going to pass out if you don’t breathe properly. Take a deep breath. Just, try to calm down, okay? I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.” Jeongguk managed to understand some of those lip movements through his anxiety ridden mind, taking as steady of a breath as he could despite the fact it hiccupped in his chest and hurt his tight throat.

He couldn’t tell Yoongi what was wrong, because he didn’t really know himself either. All he knew was his world was closing in around him as his hand tightened on the text book.

“Oh fuck, okay, so…” Yoongi said nothing for a moment, trying to not focus on how ragged Jeongguk’s breathing had gotten. “I read something online about helping with this but I don’t remember it that well so I guess we’ll just wing it, okay? So, listen to me… um… read my lips, whatever. Jeongguk, focus on me and do what I say. Tell me 5 things you can see right now.”

“U-Um…” Jeongguk gulped, still panting for breath in between his tears. “Y-you, the TV, the light, the wall and…and…a-and the coffee table.”

Yoongi nodded, encouraging him. “Well done, okay, so, now tell me four things you can hear.”

Jeongguk just stared at him for a moment, still unable to catch his breath.

“Sorry, that was dumb. You’re doing great. I don’t remember what three is, so…um…three things you can smell? No. Touch? It might be touch. Tell me three things you can feel with your hands right now.”

Jeongguk nodded, finally feeling his heart rate begin to settle.

“Y-Your jumper…the couch…and…and my textbook…”

“Well done, you got this, see?” Yoongi smiled a little as he noticed Jeongguk’s breathing was beginning to get a little stronger. Not as unsteady, and Jeongguk seemed less like he was about to pass out at any moment.

“Two things you can smell, go.”

“I-I can…smell your aftershave. It’s strong, hyung… and I can smell the pizza…”

“Perfect. Last thing and we’ll see how you feel, okay?” Jeongguk nodded. “One thing you can taste.”

“…Garlic.”

“Gross, Gguk.”

A little smile finally escaped Jeongguk as he relaxed back into the couch, exhaustion overtaking his body now that he was managing to breathe a little better. His heart rate still hadn’t settled down to normal, and anxiety still raged in his chest, but he managed to not let it overtake him now.

“Feeling better?” At Jeongguk’s nod, Yoongi continued, his hand gently stroking Jeongguk’s arm. “What was that?”

“You just witnessed a level 9 panic attack.” Jeongguk replied tiredly, barely keeping eye contact with the other as his eyelids drooped.

“It seemed fun.”

“Oh, loads of fun.”

“What triggered it?”

When Jeongguk shrugged, Yoongi continued to look worried. “Something had to have triggered it.”

“Sometimes they just happen, hyung. No cause, they just happen.”

Yoongi then nodded, pulling Jeongguk’s arm slightly so the youngest was leaning against his chest vs the couch cushions. Too exhausted to be embarrassed about it, Jeongguk simply let it happen, resting his head against Yoongi’s chest and feeling the steady thump of the older’s heart as he fell into sleep. The last thing he felt was chapped lips pressing into his forehead before unconsciousness overtook him.

When Jeongguk awoke the next morning, he immediately knew that the panic attack form the previous day had royally fucked his body.

Everything hurt, from the crown of his head down to the tips of his toes, a dull ache ranging through every nerve.

It was hard to ignore. Hard to focus on anything else around him. Slowly looking around his room, Jeongguk noticed he’d been moved. He was sure he’d fallen asleep on the couch, had Yoongi moved him to his bed? He must have, or at least, someone must have. Regardless, he was in his own bed, tucked under the blankets, and in the next bed over, Jiyong still slept.

Slowly moving his arms to be below him, Jeongguk tried to push himself upright, muscles trembling with the effort that he had to exude to do that, before his elbows gave out below him and sent him back into the pillow.

Even that small movement had made him breathless, made his skin break out into a cold sweat, and nausea brew deep in his stomach.

Oh, that nausea was getting pretty bad pretty fast.

Rolling himself to the side, Jeongguk didn’t even have time to feel pain as he fell out of his bed with a loud bang, rapidly crawling across the floor to get out of the room. Would he even make it to the bathroom in time when every bone trembled with exhaustion? Probably not, but he wasn’t going to sit here and let himself throw up all over the nice, carpeted floor of his bedroom.

He’d felt Jiyong jump out of his bed in surprise and annoyance as Jeongguk falling had woken the other from his slumber, but Jeongguk didn’t have time to apologise to the older before he was out the door, sliding across the laminate flooring towards the bathroom.

Nausea cramped again.

He wasn’t going to make it.

The vomit bubbled in his stomach first, and before he knew it, he’d well and truly not made it to the bathroom in time.

Coughing a little as the bile burned his throat, Jeongguk struggled against the urge to just flop himself down on the cool floor, purely because he knew he wouldn’t be able to move in time and he really didn’t want a sick pillow to lie on. That would just require more moving to clean himself up.

He could feel rapid footsteps approaching him before he figured out who exactly it was joining him on the floor. His head was full of cotton wool, one thought barely able to join on to another. He guessed someone was trying to talk to him, but without his aids, the words weren’t clear enough to understand.

When Jeongguk just shook his head, that movement was enough to make his muscles holding him up on his hands and knees give in under him, but thankfully, strong hands grabbed him before he landed on his face.

Being pulled into a seated position, Hoseok’s face came into view.

“Gguk, you’re burning up.” Hoseok’s fuzzy face held an expression of worry, Jeongguk barely able to focus on the older boy’s lips as the room span around him, nausea still raging inside him. The raven decided to close his eyes so he didn’t feel more motion sick, but he felt Hoseok tapping his face a moment later.

“Nuh uh, don’t pass out here, Gguk, look at me. Focus on my lips, okay? I know you can’t hear me very well right now.”

“Please, make it stop. It’s gotta stop.” Jeongguk said, although his voice even felt slurred in his mouth.

“Make what stop, Gguk?”

“Moving.”

Hoseok just looked at Jeongguk, as if trying to gauge how serious exactly the other’s illness was. Was It a hospital job or did he just need to get the freshman to bed?

“Come on, let’s get you up off the floor and in to bed.”

When Hoseok stood and hoisted Jeongguk up with him, the youngest’s stomach immediately revolted again, adding to the gross pile on the floor. He felt Hoseok flinch with a small gasp of shock, but he didn’t say anything.

He felt more footsteps approaching him, lighter in step, and Jeongguk tried to turn unfocused eyes towards the source of the steps, but it only achieved his stomach churning worse. Moving, bad, got it.

“I don’t know, Jiminie,” Jeongguk saw Hoseok’s lips move in a reply, putting two and two together and realising it was Jimin who was with them. Thankfully, he liked Jimin enough to not be too embarrassed about the older seeing him in this state now. “I was doing my project and next thing I know I hear Jeongguk out here throwing up. He’s burning hot too, I don’t think he’s completely here right now.”

“Do you think its the flu?”

“More than likely, he has been working a lot, and Yoongi messaged Hyun last night saying Gguk had a pretty major panic attack. He’s probably overworked himself. Do you want to help him back to bed and I’ll get this cleaned up?”

Jeongguk didn’t see Jimin reply, so guessed it must have been an agreement, since he was soon being switched from large, strong hands to smaller, gentler ones on his elbows, holding him p on his feet. Once Hoseok’s hands let him go though, Jimin’s grip immediately tightened as the other realised that Jeongguk had very little control over his body and he’d have to support more weight than expected.

“You got him?”

Jimin must have agreed, because Jeongguk started being pulled back towards his room. Once they got in, Jeongguk moved his fuzzy focus over to Jiyong sat on the bed.

“Don’t bring that germ magnet back in here.” Jiyong’s lips formed the words, and Jeongguk frowned, focusing his gaze instead on the bedside table that held his hearing aids. Once Jimin had sat him down, Jeongguk reached for them, being helped by Jimin to get hold of them, and he put them in with ease, wincing as noises started assaulting his brain.

“He needs to be in bed, Jiyong,” He heard Jimin say. “He’s got a fever and he’s barely conscious.”

“Well, this is my room too, and I don’t want what he’s got. I have an assignment due tomorrow, I can’t be babysitting a child who’s got a little sniffle.”

Jimin moved Jeongguk’s shoulders slightly so he wouldn’t hurt himself if he listed over, and the older turned to Jiyong with a frown.

“He’s over worked, you can do your assignment in the library, or even in the living area. You don’t have to be in here with him if you’re not going to help. We’ve helped you through your many, many hangovers. The least you can do is have a heart for him.”

“I shouldn’t be bullied out of my own room.”

“Oh, like you’ve been doing to him since he got here?”

Jiyong simply scoffed, grabbing his stuff and storming out of the room.

Jimin took a deep breath to try and calm the anger that had bubbled in him before turning to Jeongguk, gently moving sweat-soaked hair out of his glazed eyes with a fond, small smile.

“Hey, Gguk, you with us?”

Jeongguk gave a small nod, but immediately regretted it as he once again remembered that moving was bad.

“Can you tell me how you’re feeling?”

“Bad.”

Jimin nodded a little, guiding Jeongguk so he was lying down again. “Stay in bed. We’ll get you some medicine, okay? I’ll get Hobi to bring a bucket in here for you too so you don’t have to leave.”

“Mmmhmm, thank you…”

Jimin smiled, waiting a second as Jeongguk’s eyes slipped closed and he fell into unconsciousness.

Once he was certain the youngest was asleep again, Jimin left the room, meeting back up with Hoseok who was just finishing cleaning and disinfecting the floor where Jeongguk had fallen.

“How’s he doing?”

“Completely out of it,” Jimin confirmed with a worried frown. “This has to e stress linked, right? Even when Yoongi’s been with Jeongguk over the past few days, apparently he’d barely stopped studying.”

Hoseok nodded sadly. “And that panic attack he had yesterday must have pushed his body past breaking point. I’ve told Hyun that Gguk is sick, and hopefully he’ll know how to approach this. I’d rather have Hyun tell us to take him to the hospital if he thinks he needs it.”

“I just wanted one day of no drama.”

Hoseok chuckled a little at the comment, running a hand through his hair. “Guessing you argued with Jiyong? He stormed out a second ago, complaining about being thrown out of his own room.”

“He didn’t want Jeongguk in there, and wouldn’t accept the fact Jeongguk needed to be in bed. Claimed I was forcing him out of his own room, and when I pointed out he’d been bullying Jeongguk out of the room since he got there, he didn’t like it very much.”

Hoseok simply sighed with a nod. He liked Jiyong, mostly, despite Hyun and Jiyong’s past, but he couldn’t deny the other could be a bit of an asshole. Maybe he’d open up to Jeongguk in time. He hoped at least.

When Hoseok’s phone buzzed a moment later and he read the message, the media major read it out to the younger.

“’He gets sick sometimes, overworked because my dumb ass brother doesn’t know when to give his body a break. Yoongi’s on his way with meds. I’ll see how he is in a few hours and if he is still bad I’ll come check on him.’”

“Hyun isn’t coming himself?”

Hoseok shook his head. “I think he’s out on location doing his project for class, so he’s probably quite far away. I don’t know how happy Gguk will be with Yoongi seeing him in this state though, it might make him more uncomfortable.”

“Should we ask him?”

“Is he conscious enough to understand?”

Jimin thought for a second, before shaking his head. “I don’t think so, he was out cold pretty much as soon as I put him on the bed. He did leave his hearing aids in though, I don’t think he liked Jiyong and I arguing when he couldn’t hear what was happening. I didn’t want to take them out once he was asleep and possibly hurt him.”

Hoseok nodded in response. “I guess we’ll just see how he reacts when Yoon gets here.”

In fact, Yoongi arriving at the dorm didn’t take too long at all. Within 30 minutes of the text from Junghyun being sent, the main door of the dorm was being knocked and was slid open by Hoseok.

Yoongi walked in, looking a bit sleep ruddled in front of them as his hair poked every which way, a plastic bag in his hands.

“He in his room?” The question was simple, direct, and Jimin gave a small nod in response before Yoongi walked towards Jeongguk’s bedroom without another word. He at least had the decency to knock lightly before going to see the freshman.

On the bed, Jeongguk wasn’t looking the greatest. The maknae of the friend group was stark pale, making his black hair just look even darker against his chalky pallor. Deep bags hung below Jeongguk’s closed eyes, his breath coming in small, wheezing pants as he slept.

The youngest awoke to a gentle, cool hand carding through his sweat soaked bangs, unfocused eyes fluttering open and flinching once more against the light of the room.

“Hey, Gguk,” Yoongi kept his voice low, knowing Jeongguk probably felt as rotten as he looked. “How’re you doing?”

“’M fine.” Jeongguk slurred, and Yoongi nearly flinched at the state of his voice.

“Of course you are. Can you sit up? I’ve got some medicine for you, and I’m going to make you some tea and soup.”

Jeongguk gave a weak nod against the pillow, but for a second made no real effort to move. He simply stared ahead into nothing, as if trying to will the energy to move out of thin air. It didn’t take long until Jeongguk’s limbs were slowly moving though, focused on getting the sick boy upright.

The second Yoongi saw the trembling in the younger’s joints, however, he reached forward, grabbing hold of Jeongugk’s shoulders and helping support him upright, moving the pillows behind his back so he could at least be propped up and not have to struggle so much.

“There, better?”

At the light shrug he got in response, Yoongi gave a fond smile, reaching forward and ruffling Jeongguk’s hair lightly, careful to move give the young boy any more reason to be dizzy.

“Stay there, I’ll be back in a few minutes with tea for you to take your medicine with.”

As Yoongi left the room, he was sure he heard Jeongguk say “It’s not like I can go anywhere,” in a quiet, defeated voice. But that only caused his fondness to grow.

Heading towards the kitchen area from the main room, Yoongi got to work with getting some water boiled, preparing a mug of ginger tea as quickly as possible before bringing it back to the bedroom. The Junior had brought several different types of tea with him, wanting to gauge exactly what JEongguk needed when he’d gotten there. But from the tick smell of antiseptic in the air when Yoongi had entered the dorm, he assumed ginger would be the best bet for Jeongguk’s stomach.

“I’m back, Gguk.” Yoongi announced as he made his way back into the bedroom, once again falling into a fond smile at the image that greeted him.

Jeongguk was still sat up against the pillows where Yoongi had left him only minutes before, but the young boy’s eyes were no longer open, head slumped back against the pillows that supported him as his breaths were soft and even again.

“Ggukieeeeee.” Yoongi cooed, walking over and threading his fingers through the younger’s hair again, tapping softly at his overheated face. “You gotta wake up kid, you need your tea and your medicine.”

It took a moment of cooing and convincing before Jeongguk’s eyes cracked open again, unfocused and confused as they glazed around the room before focusing on Yoongi, a small, pure smile coming to his lips as he did.

“Yoon-hyung…?”

“That’s me, now come on, drink this.” Pushing the mug of tea carefully into Jeongguk’s hand, Yoongi sat next to him as the other began to sip at the ginger goodness. Careful not to jostle the bed too badly, Yoongi worked the box of medication out of the bag he’d brought with him, measuring out a dose of two pills as he did and handing them to Jeongguk.

“What are they…?”

“Just pills to bring your fever down and help it stay down. You’re burning, do you need to take them, alright?”

Jeongguk didn’t say anything, but proceeded to pop the pills into his mouth and swallow them with a sip of tea without complaints.

“Good boy.”

“’M not a dog.”

“You look like a very sad, lost, damp puppy right now.”

Jeongguk went to hit the other, lightly of course, but only managed to make himself list over into Yoongi’s quick reflexes as dizziness took over him again, the mug of tea being rescued from his hands before he scalded the both of them with it.

“Alright, no moving now or you’re going to pass out. And if you pass out rather than fall asleep we’ll be going to the hospital. Is that really what you want? Hmm?”

Jeongguk didn’t reply for a moment, simply leaning against Yoongi’s chest where he’d landed, breathing in the other’s comforting scent and allowing it to relax him. He was happy Yoongi had come to see him, come to look after him when he was feeling so rotten.

Because despite their rocky start, Jeongguk was falling for the older fast. They’d only been kind of seeing each other for about a week, and they were definitely not officially together yet, but Jeongguk went from being annoyed at the other, to loving his company faster than he’d ever changed his mind about a person before.

“Gguk, you still with me?”

“Why’re you here, hyung…?” Jeongguk eventually questioned after he heard the worry in the older’s voice, not lifting his head from against Yoongi’s chest.

“What do you mean? You’re sick, so I’m here to dote on you and make sure you feel better. Do you not want me here?”

Jeongguk shook his head quickly, worried he’d offended the other, but quickly flinched against the pain in his head at the motion, relaxing back into Yoongi’s grip as soft fingers brushed soothingly against his temple.

“No, no, I want you here… just… you gotta have more interesting things to do…”

Yoongi gave a small chuckle in response. “I probably do have more interesting things, yes, but not more important.” Leaning down a little, Yoongi placed a gentle peck on the crown of Jeongguk’s head, which would have caused Jeongguk to blush if he wasn’t so overheated anyway. “Let me look after you until you feel better.”

When Jeongguk nodded and fell back into silence, still awake but enjoying being held by the older, Yoongi let it go on for a few minutes before starting to move to lay Jeongguk back down.

“You need to eat something, so lie back down and try to stay awake for me. I brought some of Jin’s homemade soup for you, I just need to heat it up.”

“Hyung, I’m not hu-”

“Hush.” Yoongi cut Jeongguk off immediately. “You need to eat so your body has strength to heal, so lie there like you’ve been told to and deal with the fact that I’m doting on you right now.”

Without looking back at the freshman, Yoongi left the room.

Jeongguk did his best to stay awake despite the heavy weight his eyelids had taken, but thankfully it didn’t take Yoongi long to return with a steaming bowl of soup.

It appeared to be mostly broth and vegetables, probably something light on purpose so as not to mess with his stomach again, but Jeongguk accepted it gratefully, making a mental note to thank Jin later.

He wasn’t even half way through the bowl before he was losing his fight with his eyelids though.

Yoongi had been sat in silence, keeping him company as he’d ate, but when he saw Jeongguk’s heavy gaze and his body beginning to slump forward in an uncoordinated fashion, the blonde once again moved to rescue the liquid Jeongguk held and placed it to the side, on the table.

“Alright, Gguk, lie down and get some rest. You’ll feel better in no time. Do you want me to take your aids out? I’ll be gentle.” When Jeongguk gave a little nod, Yoongi slowly reached his hands up and unhooked the hearing devices from Jeongguk’s ears, removing then and safely placing them next to the cooling soul. Once they were done, his hands made their way to Jeongguk’s shoulders, gently massaging the tense muscles there as he carefully pushed Jeongguk back into the pillows. The younger didn’t argue, simply letting himself be manhandled.

Yoongi shifted a little once Jeongguk was comfortable and beginning to doze again, lying next to the raven and carding his short fingers into Jeongguk’s hair once again, playing with the messy strands until light, airy snores filled the room.

When Jeongguk awoke the next morning, still cuddling in his bed with Yoongi’s arms around him, he was thankful to be feeling much better.

Still, he wasn’t great, his head still throbbed as if someone was punching his brain repeatedly inside his skull, but his eyes would at least focus on the world around him, and his brain at least felt like it had been shoved into a blender and made into a smoothie.

The movement from Jeongguk awaking seemed to have woken Yoongi next to him, the older grunting a little in discomfort before lifting his head with bleary eyes and hair standing on end.

“Jeongguk,” Yoongi’s voice seemed husky from sleep, and his lips showed a slight slur from how tired he still was, but he was understandable at least. He squinted a little from the sunlight assaulting his eyes, but gave a small smile. “How’re you feeling?”

Jeongguk gave a small smile at the question. The older had only just woken, and was immediately checking on him. His heart fluttered in his chest.

“Better, hyung.” Jeongguk confirmed, beginning to get out of the cocoon of blankets he’d had around him to get hold of his aids. “Definitely better.”

“Better is relative. Do you feel up to class today?”

Jeongguk nodded, ignoring Yoongi’s grabby hands that tried to prevent him from getting up, and put in his aids, wincing lightly as he could now hear Taehyung being loud in the living area. “Definitely up for class. I’m not 100%, and I probably won’t be for a few days, but I can move without nearly passing out or throwing up, which is an improvement.”

“Maybe you should stay in bed another day. You were a mess yesterday, worried the hell out of everyone.”

Another smile and a shake of the head, Jeongguk refused. “I can’t miss too many classes or I’ll risk falling behind. I can manage class today. Besides, you’re only saying that so you have an excuse to stay in bed all day too.”

Yoongi groaned. “Okay, you got me, I really don’t want to move.”

Giving a small laugh, Jeongguk grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of jeans from his chest of drawers, beginning to make his way out of the room.

“I’m going to get changed, hyung.” He informed the older. “I won’t be long, okay?”

“Please don’t be, I miss you already.”

Blushing, Jeongguk continued his journey to the bathroom. Normally, he’d get changed in his room, whether Jiyong was there or not, but he wasn’t quite feeling comfortable enough with Yoongi yet to get changed in front of him, even if the older had seen him at his worst the day before.

It only took a moment for Jeongguk to strip from his sweat soaked pyjamas for him to decide he really needed a shower. He promised Yoongi he wouldn’t be long, but he really did feel gross from the day before. So turning on the shower, he quickly jumped in and scrubbed himself off, only staying in for a few minutes until he felt a little cleaner. Getting back out, Jeongguk quickly dried off before getting changed into his clothes for the day, brushing his teeth and cleaning his face. Then, he made his way back into his bedroom, ignoring the fact Jiyong was asleep on the couch in the living area. He must have been really annoyed Jeongguk was sick, but the younger didn’t remember much of the day before anyway.

“Hyung,” Jeongguk said as he got back into his room, closing the door behind him and smiling at the fact Yoongi had curled himself back up in the blankets. “Jiyong is asleep on the couch. Did you know?”

Yoongi gave a small shrug, eyes barely open. “Beats me. He argued with Jimin yesterday though.”

“He did?”

“He was mad you were going to be in your room all day, and Jimin was mad at him for being mad.”

Jeongguk hesitated for a second. “Should I apologise to Jiyong-hyung?”

“Apologise for what? Being sick?”

Jeongguk shrugged in response. “If he was mad at me, obviously there’s something to apologise for.”

“There are days Jiyong is mad at the sun for shining, I wouldn’t take it too personally.”

Jeongguk nodded a little at that, before grabbing his notebooks and text books and putting them in his backpack.

“I’ve got to head out to class, okay?” Jeongguk said, smiling at the older as Yoongi finally started sitting up and waking up properly. “Am I seeing you afterwards?”

“If you want to.” Yoongi confirmed, a soft smile graving his sleepy features. “How about I meet you after your second class and we go from there depending on how you feel?”

Jeongguk nodded a little. “That sounds great, hyung. Please go to your own classes too, I don’t want you falling too far behind because of me.”

“I won’t fall behind because of you, if anything I’ll fall behind because of my own laziness. I don’t have any classes today anyway, so I’m probably going to go and bother Hobi in his studio and get some stuff recorded.”

With another smile and nod, followed by a promise to see Yoongi later, Jeongguk left the room and headed out of the dorm towards his first class of the day.

He got there without much of an issue, although the pounding in his head was beginning to become a big distraction, he was able to mostly ignore it.

He ran into Taehyung on the way to the building, the other smiling and hitting his back lightly, commenting on how nice it was to see Jeongguk conscious again before hurrying off to his own class. Even the small, friendly interaction was enough to calm Jeongguk’s heart a little. It appeared Jiyong was the only person mad at him for getting sick, which the youngest could deal with.

Once he got to his class and sat in his normal chair, notebook and text books out on the desk, Jeongguk checked his phone to find a few texts he must hace missed over the day before. A few from his brother, and a few from Byeol.

From: Junghyun
To: Jungkook
Message: Do you need me to come and check on you? I said I would if you were getting worse or if you needed me to, I’d be there already but I’m in Seoul city centre right now for a project

From: Junghyun
To: Jungkook
Message: Are you ignoring me or are you just asleep??? Disrespectful<3

From: Junghyun
To: Jungkook
Message: Okay so Yoongi said you’re asleep, not dead or ignoring me. Text me when you’re up so I can hear your voice and hear for myself that you haven’t keeled over and died<3

Jeongguk laughed a little at his brother, before opening the conversation with Byeol.

From: Byeol
To: Jungkook
Message: Kookieeeee are you alright???? Of course you’d pull an extreme and get sick.

From: Byeol
To: Jungkook
Message: I hope you’re sleeping it off and not trying to work through it. Studying can wait, rest<3

From: Byeol
To: Jungkook
Message: You better be resting! Jin says he hopes you feel better soon and his soup did you some good. We love you Kookie, feel better soon<3

Jeongguk smiled at the messages, thankful that his brothers were thinking of him even when he wasn’t able to think of himself.

Typing a quick message back to both of them, Jeongguk tried to turn his attention back to the class.

From: Jeongguk
To: Junghyun(g)
Message: I’m okay, I promise! In class now so I’ll call you during my break if you’re free. Let me know!

From: Jeongguk
To: Byeol
Message: I’m much better today! Yoongi-hyung looked after me well. I’m in class now, but Jin’s soup was great! Say thank you for me.

Once his phone was safely back in his pocket and definitely on silent so the two’s replies wouldn’t distract him, Jeongguk turned to focus on the lecture.

The class flew by in a blink of an eye, and before Jeongugk knew it, everyone was packing up. His notes looked like a jumble of nonsense, and the pounding in his head wasn’t getting much better, but he could still function, so he’d continue with his classes for the day.

Packing his stuff away and vowing to pay more attention at his next class instead of zoning out into his own, mild fever induced daze, Jeongguk left the room and headed into the courtyard.

Once there, the youngest sat on the bench he and Yoongi often had spoken around back the week before, when the other was still stalking him everywhere. He took a packet of painkillers from ihs pocket and popped two down with a swing of water.

Hopefully they’d take the last of the illness away in time for his class.

Taking his phone back out, Jeongguk was happy to see both his brothers had replied, and Hyun had said to call him once he was able to. So, knowing he had a spare hour, the younger did.

The phone only rang twice before Junghyun had answered.

“Gguk, how’re you doing?”

“I’m okay, Hyung, I promise.”

“Okay enough to have gone back to class?” When Jeongguk hesitated with his reply, he heard his brother groan on the other end of the phone. “Gguk, dude, we really have to work on your self preservation.”

“I’m okay, hyung. It’s just a bit of a headache, and the remains of the fever. I’m fine, I promise.”

“Do you think your Psychology teachers can see if you actually have a brain that functions like a regular human to like, keep the body it’s in alive?”

Jeongguk laughed a little at the irritated comments from his brother. “Look, hyung, I’m okay, I promise. If I was as bad as I was yesterday, I wouldn’t have been able to get out of bed. But I’ve not gotten dizzy or sick again, and I’ve taken painkillers for the headache. I’m fine, I promise you.”

“Alright, but the second you start feeling worse, you go to bed. Got it?”

“Got it.” Although they both knew that was a lie. Jeongguk would probably wait until he passed out before admitting he was still unwell, and they both knew it.

“Right, I’ll let you go enjoy your break then. Relax, take your time with stuff, and go back to bed if you need to. Or I’ll be really mad with you.”

“You’re never mad with me.”

“I will be if you kill yourself with your own stubbornness.”

“Well if I’m dead does it really matter if you’re mad at me?”

“I’ll bring you back just to kill you myself.”

“Got it, hyung.”

Hanging up the phone, still laughing a little, Jeongguk lay down on the bench, taking in the cooling late September air around him.

He really was feeling better, a lot better, but not as good as he probably should have been.

But he could fix that, and still look after himself.

From: Jeongguk
To: Yoon-hyung
Message: Hyung, if you have any spare time, could you bring me some fever reducers? I think I’ve still got a mild one, but it’s okay if you don’t have time! I understand!

The reply came almost immediately.

From: Yoon-hyung
To: Jeongguk
Message: You idiot, I knew you still had a fever. Where are you? I’ll be over in 5.

From: Jeongguk
To: Yoon-hyung
Message: It’s not that important that you have to rush, it’s okay! I’m in the courtyard<3

From: Yoon-hyung
To: Jeongguk
Message: <3

True to his word, minutes later Yoongi was walking towards Jeongguk, kneeling down next to where the younger had laid down on the bench, and without even saying hello, rested his hand on the other’s forehead.

“You’re not as burning as yesterday, but you’re still a little warm. Feeling bad?”

Jeongguk shook his head. “Not really, just a headache, but Hyun-hyung is getting over protective so I thought I’d show him I did have at least a little self preservation.”

Yoongi nodded, taking a box of medicine from his back pocket and handing it to Jeongguk with a bottle of sports drink. “This will make you feel better. Electrolytes and fever reducer. I have to head back in a minute, because I’ve left Hoseok with my work and I don’t trust him to not try and mess with it. Are you going to be okay?”

Jeongguk nodded a little, taking the medication without complaint and downing a quarter of the bottle of drink. “I’m alright, I promise.”

Yoongi nodded again, standing back up and running his hand through Jeongguk’s hair comfortingly.

“I’ll meet you out of class later, we’ll do something calm, okay? Go back to the dorm and get your camera before class, you’re going to want it with where we’re going.”

Nodding a little with a small frown of confusion, Jeongguk agreed to Yoongi’s suggestion, watching as the older left the courtyard before standing and heading out himself, going back to the dorm to get his camera as advised.

———

Not long later, Jeongguk found himself in his last class. At this point, he was just waiting for it to finish. He’d taken all the notes his brain would let him, but he wanted to know what Yoongi had planned.

If he’d wanted Jeongguk to bring his camera, it had to be somewhere pretty Yoongi was taking him. After all, why else would the other insist he bring it?

Finally, the professor informed then that the class was over, and everyone including Jeongguk began to pack their stuff away.

It only took him a moment to do before Jeongguk was up and heading out of the room, not at all surprised to see Yoongi leaning against the wall, smirking at the other as he waited.

“There he is. How’re you feeling?”

“Good, hyung.”

Yoongi, obviously not satisfied with the younger’s answer, pushed off the wall and walked over to Jeongguk, placing a cool hand against his forehead once again.

“Your fever broke.”

“It has?”

“I can’t be 100% sure without sticking you with an actual thermometer, but you feel normal at least. So, shall we get going?”

Jeongguk nodded, smiling at the older. That smile quickly dropped though as Yoongi reached over and wrapped his hand around Jeongguk’s own.

Jeongguk quickly flinched his hand away, a look of panic flashing over his face.

“Okay, no hand holding, got it.”

Thankfully, Yoongi didn’t appear offended by the action. A little bit hurt, maybe, but not offended and not hurt enough to be angry at him.

They walked side by side, Yoongi’s hands now safely away in his pockets, before they got out of the building entirely and towards the parking lot.

Jeongguk didn’t really know where he was being taken, but he followed without question as Yoongi took him over to a parked motorbike, handing him a helmet with yet another small smirk.

“Put it on and get on.”

“…what?”

“The helmet, Jeongguk. Put it on and get on the back of the bike.”

Without explaining any further, Yoongi put leather gloves and a jacket on, strapping his helmet around his head before getting on the bike. Jeongguk, knowing he wasn’t getting out of this, did as he was told. He fumbled a little with the strap, but managed to get the helmet secured as he got on the back behind Yoongi.

“Hold on to me, and trust me.”

Jeongguk wrapped his arms around Yoongi’s waist, and no more than a moment later they were off, speeding out of the car park and away from the University.

Jeongguk’s heart fluttered in his chest as he held on tightly to Yoongi, hiding his face in the older’s shoulder as they went. He’d never been on a motorbike before, and he only hoped Yoongi wasn’t expecting him to know what the fuck he was doing.

Thankfully, it appeared Yoongi knew, as he said nothing about how tightly Jeongguk held on to him and didn’t try to stop the younger hiding his eyes from the environment speeding past them.

They rode for about 20 minutes in silence. Even if Yoongi had tried to talk to the other, Jeongguk didn’t think he’d be able to hear him over the roar of the engine anyway.

When the bike finally began to slow, Jeongguk lifted his head to look at where they were.

It appeared to be a sort of garden centre, although Jeongguk still couldn’t figure out why exactly they were there of all places.

Yoongi parked the bike and helped Jeongguk off of it.

“You alright?”

Jeongguk gave a shaky nod as he took off the helmet, and as Yoongi took off his own, Jeongguk could see the worried from on the other’s face. “Are you sure? You’ve gone really pale.”

“It was fast.”

“It’s a motorbike, it’s meant to be.”

Jeongguk nodded a little again, handing the helmet to Yoongi who took it and put it away.

“Now, did you remember your camera?”

When Jeongguk confirmed, Yoongi gave a small smile of reassurance. “Good, now follow me.”

The raven did as he was told, following Yoongi into the building while still trying to figure out exactly what was going on. He watched as the older stopped to talk to a worker there, unable to hear exactly what was being said and unable to see either of their faces well enough to try and lip read.

Then they were being lead out of a back door.

Yoongi looked towards Jeongguk, hesitating in his steps and gently pushing the younger in front of him as they went through the door.

The sight that greeted Jeongguk made the breath catch in his throat.

Outside was filled with tree, bushes with the brightest flowers growing from them, dirt paths leading around the large indoor enclosure with a fake sun beating down upon them with warmth they could only pray for in September.

And fluttering around the space were hundreds of tiny butterflies.

Jeongguk took a few steps forward, reminding himself that he had to breathe as he took in a shaking breath and pulled the camera from his bag, setting it up with ease and immediately taking a few snaps of the surrounding area. He focused the lens on a butterfly that had landed on a wooden bench nearby, getting as close as possible and snapping the picture. He took pictures of the flowers, of the thick, bright grass.

Then he turned, quickly taking a picture of Yoongi where he stood with a small, fond smile on his face that made his eyes close slightly.

“Hyung…”

“Do you like it here?”

When Jeongguk nodded, eyes bright with amazement, Yoongi’s smile only grew as he walked over, the employee leaving them to it.

“I rented the butterfly garden for us for a few hours. We’re the only people in here. Just you and me. No employees, no random members of the public, no friends. Just the two of us.

Jeongguk let out a small breath, steadying himself as he walked over to the bench and sat down.

Almost immediately, a small, blue butterfly fluttered over and landed on his hand, moving its wings slowly as it settled.

Jeongguk kept as still as he could, staring at the wonder on his hand as if it was the most precious creature on the earth.

“Obviously we’re being watched by cameras to make sure we’re not trashing the place or hurting the butterflies, but unless we’re doing something wrong, we’re not going to be bothered.”

“Thank you, hyung.”

Yoongi smiled, sitting next to him. “For what, Gguk?”

“For taking me here, it’s breath taking.”

Yoongi stayed quiet for a moment, staring at Jeongguk who wasn’t even looking in his direction, more focused on the butterfly on his hand. “It is.”

Jeongguk grinned, looking up at Yoongi with his eyes bright and playful.

Even the younger had noticed Yoongi’s cheeks had gone a little pink.

Jeongguk jumped a little as the butterfly’s wings brushed his hand as it took off, going to join its friends at a nearby bush with bright red flowers.

“We can have a wander around when you’re ready to. There’s a lot around here. Well, it’s all kind of the same,” Yoongi admitted. “Lots of trees, flowers, and lots and lots of butterflies. We can go when you want to if you get bored.”

“I don’t think I could ever get bored here.”

Jeongguk then stood, slowly walking over to the bush his butterfly friend had gone to, kneeling down to see the winged creatures better.

“They’re so small, so delicate…”

“But they’re still powerful.”

Jeongguk nodded. “Powerful for their size at least.”

“Any creature that can literally disintegrate it’s whole body into goop and reform it to be something beautiful is terrifying to me.”

Jeongguk frowned, turning a little to look at Yoongi. “You’re scared of butterflies?”

Yoongi at least had the respect to look a little offended. “I’m not scared of butterflies, but you can’t deny they’re a little intimidating. They literally dissolve and reform. That’s power I wish I had.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t recommend dissolving yourself.”

“I wont.”

Yoongi joined Jeongguk moments later, kneeling beside the youngest with a silence between them.

When Yoongi began to lean closer to Jeongguk, the youngest didn’t pull away.

When Yoongi’s lips brushed against Jeongguk’s, the raven didn’t flinch.

When their lips connected properly, Jeongguk didn’t argue.

When Yoongi asked Jeongguk to formally be his, Jeongguk didn’t say no.

Work spread fast around the friendship group about Jeongguk and Yoongi’s new official relationship. Of course, the second they’d gotten back to the University, and Yoongi had gone back to his own dorm after walking Jeongguk to his, Jeongguk had informed Junghyun and Byeol about his change of relationship status.

Junghyun seemed a little apprehensive, but still happy for the younger, and Byeol seemed to think it was the most exciting thing that had ever happened in his life.

By the next morning, he had messages from Namjoon and Seokjin. Jiyong had made his normal passive aggressive comments about Jeongguk, but they weren’t as bad as normal. He even congratulated Jeongguk on the relationship, of course followed by a threat that he’d better not hurt Jiyong’s best friend. Taehyung had jumped on him in a massive hug once he’d made his way back into the living area, and Jimin had joined him as Jeongguk fell to the floor in a fit of laughs under their weight.

Hoseok had rescued him from the pile of bodies, and had pulled him into his own hug. Although, Hoseok seemed the most… worried out of all of them.

“Promise me you’ll be careful,” The older had whispered into his aided ear during the hug.

“What do you mean?” Jeongguk had frowned, mumbling back under his breath.

“Just…be careful. I don’t trust how well Jiyong has taken this.”

The hug had separated after that, and Jeongguk could feel and anxiety bubbling in his chest again. Hoseok certainly had a point, Jiyong had been weirdly accepting of their relationship. But regardless of that, Jeongguk was happy.

He went to his classes as normal that day. He managed to not go into a panic attack as he noticed all the eyes on him as people mumbled. People spread the news quickly, but when asked, Jeongguk neither confirmed nor denied it.

He wasn’t comfortable with everyone knowing about his sexuality yet, a fact that Yoongi had confirmed he understood and was okay with.

They’d spoken. After the kiss, after the question, and Yoongi agreed to wait until Jeongguk was comfortable to show affection in public. He knew how badly Jeongguk had taken to being outed in front of their friends at the party, and he knew the younger wouldn’t be okay with the whole school knowing about them yet.

He said he could wait. That he was perfectly happy getting Jeongguk all to himself for now.

So when people asked, Jeongguk had just laughed it off. He didn’t agree, he didn’t say he and Yoongi were an item.

But he didn’t deny it either. He wasn’t a liar, he didn’t want to say he wasn’t with Yoongi when he was.

So he’d just leave people to speculate for now.

Yoongi had met Jeongguk out of his classes, as he usually did recently, and they’d gone back to Yoongi’s dorm for a change.

It was laid out identically to his own, with Junghyun and Byeol in one room, Yoongi and Seokjin in another, and Namjoon in the single room.

Namjoon, however, had sacrificed his room for the afternoon, spending time with Seokjin in his and allowing Yoongi and Jeongguk to take over his room for the evening.

The last few days of the week passed quickly, and Jeongguk felt as though he was on Cloud Nine. In public, he was able to be himself, just hanging out with Yoongi as if they were just friends. But in private, Yoongi made him feel like the most important person in the world.

Kisses peppered all over his arms, neck, and face. Sweet nothings whispered into his ears as kisses were placed on his ear lobes, fingers running through his hair.

Jeongguk had never felt so comfortable and so loved.

So when Saturday came around and Jeongguk had a text from his boyfriend, he knew he was in for an even better day.

From: Yoon-hyung
To: Jeongguk
Message: Beach?

Jeongguk had broken out into a smile at the message.

“Did Yoongi just send you a dick pic?” Jiyong questioned with a frown from where he lay on the bed next to Jeongguk’s, pulling a frown from the younger.

“No, and let’s be honest, even if he did I wouldn’t tell you.” Jeongguk retorted, causing Jiyong to scoff in response.

“It’s not like I haven’t seen his dick before.”

Jeongguk chose to ignore the comment, texting back to Yoongi.

From: Jungkook
To: Yoon-hyung
Message: Today?

From: Yoon-hyung
To: Jungkook
Message: Yup. Pick you up in 30?

From: Jungkook
To: Yoon-hyung
Message: Got it<3

Jeongguk continued smiling as he put his phone down, getting up from his bed and getting out of his sleeping jogging bottoms and baggy jumper into something a bit more presentable. A dark t-shirt, black jeans and an oversized jumper. After all, they were going to the beach at the end of September, it wasn’t exactly going to be warm.

“Look at you, dressing up to impress him.”

“I don’t need to impress who I’ve already got.”

“Alright Mister Big Head, calm down the confidence a little. You’re still only putting lipstick on a pig.”

“Oh shit up.”

Jiyong frowned at Jeongguk sticking up for himself, quickly standing and looking at Jeongguk with a face like thunder. “Show some respect you fucking shrimp. I’m your hyung.”

Jeongguk said nothing, grabbing his phone and his camera before heading out of his bedroom and into the living area, sitting on the couch with Taehyung and Jimin, Hoseok curled up on the armchair nearby, half asleep.

“Morning, Ggukie.” Jimin greeted with a smile, his arm wrapped around Taehyung’s shoulders who seemed very invested in the drama on the screen in front of them. “Going somewhere?”

“Yoongi-hyung is picking me up soon.” Jeongguk confirmed with a smile, causing Jimin’s to only grow.

“Have gun, okay? Are you doing anything fun?”

Jeongguk’s response was interrupted by another text message.

From: Yoon-hyung
To: Jeongguk
Message: I’ve rented a cottage on the beach for the night. Bring PJs and clothes for tomorrow.

Jeongguk only lit up more. A whole night, alone with Yoongi. He was going to have the best weekend of his life.

“Yeah, we’re going to the beach. Yoon-hyung has rented a cottage there for the night.”

Jimin looked a little concerned. “Be careful, okay, Gguk? Don’t throw your whole being into this so fast, it’s still early days. You’ve only been officially together a few days. You don’t want to fall too deep too fast, okay? I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I won’t get hurt, hyung, but thank you.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung perked up a little from Jimin’s shoulder, shoving more popcorn in his mouth. “Ggukie is a big boy, he can look after himself.”

“Oh, Gguk is a big boy?” A familiar husky voice chuckled from the door way as Yoongi let himself in to the dorm room with a grin, a single eyebrow raised.

Taehyung wasted no time with throwing a handful of popcorn at the older. “Hyung! I didn’t mean like that!”

Hoseok walked into the room, giving a small whine of annoyance, both at the noise and the fact he knew the others were going to leave him to clean up the fallen popcorn that was now dirty on the floor.

“You ready to go, Gguk?” Yoongi asked, smiling a little more as Jeongguk jumped to his feet.

“I just have to grab the clothes and then I’m good!” As he said it, Jeongguk hurried back into his bedroom, grabbing his PJs and a set of fresh clothes and shoving them into a backpack, heading back into the living area and shoving his camera in there too. “Alright, I’m good.” He confirmed.

“Then let’s go!”

Jeongguk nodded, jumping a little on the spot with excitement before hurrying to where Yoongi stood. He stopped though, hesitating for a second before kneeling down and picking up the popcorn from the floor, placing it in the bin next to the fridge before joining Yoongi again.

“Let’s go!”

———

This time, the motorbike journey was a lot smoother for the youngest. Despite the fact it was significantly longer than the first journey, two hours longer in fact, Jeongguk felt a lot calmer than the first time.

He’d gotten on the back of the bike without hesitation, put on the helmet without stumbling over it, and held on to Yoongi’s waist like he’d done it a thousand times before.

Although, Jeongguk put his more comfortable experience down to the fact that before he’d gone through the process, Yoongi had handed him a tiny but comfortable pair of headphones that fit easily under the helmet, and an ipod to go with them. Although he refused to tell the younger what exactly was on the device.

When it had started playing, Jeongguk had immediately recognised his boyfriend’s voice.

The tracks loaded on to the ipod were all songs Yoongi had written, produced and sang in Hoseok’s studio.

Most of them were raps, with the odd, calmer song mixed in, but Jeongguk found the older’s voice so soothing that it had made his anxiety about riding the bike fade away.

Not once during the two hour journey did Jeongguk ask the other to pull over. He stayed, quiet and comfortable with his head resting against Yoongi’s shoulder as they rode to the beach, calm as he’d ever been.

He might have even put himself at a 1 on his anxiety scale, the lowest he’d been the whole time he’d been at the University.

When they arrived at the cottage Yoongi had rented, Jeongguk and his boyfriend had first went inside, putting their stuff down. It was only a small place, but it was comfortable and cozy. The fridge was stocked, a rice cooker ready to go, and the bed was comfortable and sturdy, a wood frame with tartan blankets.

“Ready to go freeze our butts off on the sand?” Yoongi had asked once they’d both had a bite to eat and their backsides had recovered from the long ride. When Jeongguk nodded, Yoongi reached for the other’s hand again.

This time, Jeongguk didn’t flinch away.

Yoongi held his hand with a gentle grip, leading the other out onto the deserted beach. There wasn’t another soul for miles around. Just Jeongguk, Yoongi, and the bright autumn sun to keep them company.

Jeongguk immediately took his shoes off, enjoying the feeling of the sand between his toes despite the chilly breeze around them. Yoongi had joined him only moments later, immediately kicking sand at the younger of the two.

This, of course, started a sand war. The two of them chased each other around, handfuls of sand being thrown at one another.

That had rapidly ended when Jeongguk ended up with a handful of cold, gritty sand straight to the face, getting in his mouth and irritating his eyes.

Yoongi, despite the fact he still hadn’t stopped laughing fully when Jeongguk had lost his balance and fallen onto his butt, had still joined the other and helped him clear the sand from his face.

Gentle thumbs wiped away the irritation-caused tears from Jeongguk’s cheeks, a hand was fluffed through his hair to brush the sand from it, and gentle kisses were placed to Jeongguk’s lips through the giggles.

“Hyung, it’s not funny, it hurt.”

“It is funny, but I’m sorry it hurt.”

Jeongguk leaned over, spitting up a bit of sand next to him and pulling a weird face as he tried to get more of the gritty granules out of his mouth.

Yoongi simply laughed more.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m alright, hyung.”

“Good.” With that said, and the confirmation that Jeongguk was indeed alright, Yoongi grabbed a handful of sand and once again dumped it on the other’s head. At least this time, he was careful that it didn’t go in Jeongguk’s face.

With a squeak of annoyance, Jeongguk jumped on Yoongi, pinning him to the sand. “Hyung, stop it!”

“Or what?” Yoongi taunted, leaning up and kissing Jeongguk in response.

The raven simply turned pink as he stayed where he’d landed on Yoongi’s stomach.

“Or…or…or I’ll confiscate kisses from you and your won’t get any more kisses for the whole day!”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t be able to stick to that.” Yoongi countered, leaning forward and kissing Jeongguk yet again, making no effort to move the freshman from his stomach where he was still pinned.

Jeongguk simply laughed for a moment, shaking his hair off to get the sand out, over Yoongi’s face of course, who yelled in response. Then, barely missing a beat, Jeongguk leaned forward in a rare show of confidence and captured Yoongi’s lips in a kiss of his own.

“I guess you’re right.” He confirmed, before getting off the older and stretching, looking out over the ocean.

“I bet theres loads of crabs in there.” Jeongguk said out of the blue, causing Yoongi to glance in the younger’s direction. “I want to meet one. How cool would it be to make friends with a crab? I’d call it Ae Chin-Hae. It would be so cool.”

“You’re insane, Jeongguk.”

“The water looks so inviting,” Jeongguk said quietly, his eyes becoming a little sad. “But I know it’s going to be freezing cold.”

Yoongi sat up, looking over at Jeongguk. He didn’t like the sad tone the other’s voice had taken.

“Well, you know…” The blonde started with a small smile. “There’s plenty of hot water and blankets inside the cottage. So if you want to go play in the water, at least you have a way to warm up afterwards.”

Jeongguk stayed silent for a moment, before crouching down and rolling up his trouser legs without a word. Before Yoongi even knew it, the other was running towards the ocean, straight into the water.

“Gguk!” Yoongi exclaimed with a laugh, getting up and following the other, trying to roll up his own jeans as he went. “Wait for me!”

Jeongguk didn’t, wading into the water the second he got there and shivering immediately as the freezing water attacked his nerve endings.

But he was right, the water was incredibly inviting. Once the immediate cold faded a little and his muscles got used to it, the water was actually alright.

Way colder than it would have been if they’d gone in July rather than September, but still not as bad as it could have been.

“This is so nice, Hyung.” Jeongguk said quietly, barely able to be heard over the breeze surrounding them and the crash of the waves.

Yoongi nodded lightly in response. “It is. I’m glad I met you, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk smiled, a small but pure movement, turning to look at the older. “I’m glad I met you too. I’m sorry I was standoffish at first. You scared me.”

“I’m sorry too,” Yoongi replied. “I didn’t mean to scare you, I was just…” He sighed, stepping closer to the other. “I was so drawn to you immediately, and the more I spend time with you, the more that grows. I don’t want to be apart from you.”

When Yoongi’s arm found itself around Jeongguk’s shoulder, the younger leaned into his grip, absorbing as much of Yoongi’s warmth as he could and burying his face into the crook of the other’s neck.

“I don’t want to be apart from you either.”

They stood like that for a while. So long that they were still there when the sun began to set over the horizon ahead of them. Still, they stood, in the cold water that was up to their mid calves, in each other’s arms as they watched the sun dip away from sight together.

But all good things had to come to an end as Yoongi stepped away, rubbing Jeongguk’s arm lightly.

“We should go inside before you catch your death from the water. You’ve only just fully recovered, I don’t want to make you sick again.”

Jeongguk looked sad at the words, but still nodded in agreement, walking out of the water as his shoulder’s trembled from the cold.

Now he was more aware of his surroundings and less lost in the moment of Yoongi’s company, Jeongguk realised just how cold it had gotten now the sun was going to bed. The breeze had gotten colder, that frozen wind even more pronounced against his wet ankles as they walked, hand in hand, back to the cottage waiting for them.

“Thank you, Yoongi-hyung.” Jeongguk said as they walked, causing the older to look at him with a small frown.

“For what?”

“For loving me.”

Yoongi turned a little pink at the words, continuing his walk into the cottage and immediately grabbing two towels that the owners had left for them, throwing one at Jeongguk’s face.

“You’re embarrassing. Dry off before you die.”

“But hyung,” Jeongguk started, voice too serious for how pink Yoongi had turned. “I’m serious. Thank you.”

“Then…” Yoongi hesitated. “You too. For not holding things against me.”

Jeongguk smiled before he sat on the wood floor, wiping down his legs and feet to try and dry them off.

“I can’t feel my toes.”

The random statement after he’d just been so serious made Yoongi laugh as he sat next to the younger, drying off his own legs.

“Me neither. Stay there, I’ll run us a bath.”

Once the sand and the salt water had been cleaned off, Yoongi got back to his feet and made his way through the cottage into the bathroom, beginning running the hot water into the tub.

The blonde hesitated for a second, before using some of the lavender bubble bath left on the side.

He wanted Jeongguk to be comfortable, and warm, and he was going to do everything he could to make this one of the best dates they’d had.

It didn’t take long before the large tub was mostly filled, Yoongi leaving the room after checking the temperature to go and get his boyfriend.

“Come on then, Gguk, bath’s nearly ready.”

The younger stood, unhooking his aids and putting them safely on the table, before following Yoongi into the bathroom. He watched as the older of the two turned the taps off and checked the temperature again. He must have found it acceptable as he immediately began stripping off his clothes, climbing in to the bath once he was fully nude without a care in the world.

Jeongguk, however, had gone bright pink at the sight.

He simply stood, shifting his weight awkwardly from one foot to the other as he bit his lip.

“Well?” Yoongi questioned, pushing some of the bubbles out of the way. “Are you getting in?”

“Um…” Yoongi couldn’t help but give a soft smile at how uncomfortable Jeongguk looked. “Can you turn away?”

Yoongi didn’t argue the request, simply turning his head away so he was no longer looking at Jeongguk. He could hear the rustling of clothes as the younger stripped off, and felt the water move as Jeongguk got into the bath with him, the younger’s bare leg brushing against Yoongi’s.

“Okay, hyung, you can look again now.”

Yoongi turned back to Jeongguk, smiling at the other.

“You’re beautiful.”

Jeongguk only turned redder.

“H-Hyung, don’t say stuff like that.”

“What? I’m not allowed to compliment you?”

“It makes me embarrassed.”

“Well, you can stay embarrassed, because I’m going to tell you every day until you believe it enough to accept it.”

Jeongguk sank a little where he sat, letting the bubbly water cover his mouth but leaving his nose out in the air as he attempted to hide.

Yoongi just laughed.

“Come here, let me help you get warm.”

When Jeongguk didn’t move, Yoongi gave a little huff and reached over, pulling Jeongguk over by his shoulders and grabbing a soft sponge, wetting it with the hot water and beginning to brush it over Jeongguk’s chest.

The rest of the bath was spent in silence, both boys a little pink as they sat, enjoying each other’s company and gently cleaning off the salt water and sand from each other’s bodies.

When it was time to get out, Yoongi exited first, laughing a little as Jeongguk looked away while he wrapped a towel around himself. Knowing what was to come, Yoongi did the same, looking away to give Jeongguk privacy as he also got out and covered himself up.

Then, he led Jeongguk into the bedroom, lying down on the bed in only the towel.

Jeongguk didn’t hesitate before joining him.

They lay there in silence for a few minutes, simply looking at each other, before Yoongi leaned forward and captured Jeongguk in a soft kiss.

Despite his embarrassment and anxiety over his body, Jeongguk reciprocated the action.

Before long, the towels were moved and long forgotten on the floor. The blankets were moved to cover their bodies, and the romantic night truly began for the both of them.

Jeongguk would know just how much Yoongi loved his body by the end of it.

Jeongguk didn’t want to go back to reality when he woke in Yoongi’s arms the next morning.

He knew they had to go back to the dorms. They both had homework to do and they both had classes tomorrow.

But he was so comfortable, so warm lying in Yoongi’s arms in the large bed.

Despite the fact Jeongguk hadn’t opened his eyes yet, knowing doing so would just confirm to his boyfriend that he was awake, Yoongi must have realised regardless. He felt the older’s chest rumble with low words, and cracked his eyes open to glance at the other’s lips.

“Morning, Gguk.” Yoongi said, reaching over and stroking dark hair away from Jeongguk’s eyes. “How’re you feeling?”

Jeongguk gave a little whine, rolling over to hide his face in the older’s chest. If he couldn’t read Yoongi’s lips, he couldn’t understand him, and that meant he couldn’t be told that they had to move. “Don’t wanna be awake.”

Yoongi’s chest vibrated with a small chuckle, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on the younger’s head, before lifting it using soft fingerpads so Jeongguk could see him again.

“I know, but we really should think about going back home.”

Jeongguk simply whined again in response.

“I know, I know. But we can’t stay here forever.”

“I don’t want to say goodbye to you.”

Yoongi stayed quiet for a second, tightening his hold on the other to give him the physical support Jeongguk craved.

“You don’t have to. Namjoon and I swapped rooms last week. He wanted to spend more time with Seokjin-hyung anyway, and I wanted my own room.” Yoongi hesitated for a second, before continuing. “So if you want, we can go back to my dorm and stay in my room? Do our homework, watch something on Netflix, have a nap… what do you think?”

Jeongguk gave a small nod, but still made no move to actually move from his position.

When Yoongi heard the other’s breaths start to get a little deeper, he gave a little laugh, shaking Jeongguk’s shoulder again. “Okay, alright, come on. You need to wake up. No going back to sleep on me right now. Okay?”

With a final whine, Jeongguk did as he was told, pulling away from Yoongi’s chest and sitting up with a stretch and a grunt of discomfort, goose pimples immediately popping up all over his arms as the cold sea air assaulted his skin.

Climbing out of bed, Jeongguk did his best to hide how…well, nude he was, as he hurried to grab his clothes and pull them on. Both for the chilly temperature of the air and for his own shy modesty.

Yoongi followed not far behind him as he made his way into the living room, grabbing his hearing aids and putting them back in. Yoongi definitely seemed a lot less shy about his own nakedness as he laughed at Jeongguk.

“We can always hang around a little longer before we head back if you want to do some more stuff? Although, we don’t have the rights to the cottage for much longer.”

Jeongguk simply shook his head a little bit, refusing the offer.

“Nah, let’s go home, hyung. Your bed is calling to me.”

When Yoongi raised an eyebrow at the other, Jeongguk turned beet red. “For a nap! It’s calling to me for a nap! Don’t look at me like that!”

Yoongi just grinned again, ruffling Jeongguk’s hair as he walked past and started packing his stuff up, Jeongguk quickly following suit.

“You know, getting dressed would be great, hyung.”

Within the next half hour, the couple were outside, locking up the cottage and saying goodbye to the beach they’d spent the last day on.

It was then Jeongguk felt the first spike of anxiety in his chest, strong enough to take his breath away.

Yoongi must have noticed the colour drain from his face as he hurried to stand in front of the other.

“Hey, deep breath, it’s okay. What’s wrong? What’s set you off?”

When Jeongguk shook his head, carefully putting himself to be sat on the sand where he could stabilise himself a little more, Yoongi joined him so Jeongguk still had him in sight, leaning forward and giving his boyfriend a soft kiss.

“It’s okay, it’s alright. You don’t have to panic. I’m here with you. You’re okay, I promise.”

Jeongguk gave a small nod, but despite Yoongi’s soft words, it did nothing to calm the anxiety raging in his throat.

“Number?”

“7.”

Yoongi nodded a little in understanding. Jeongguk wasn’t in full panic attack, but he was very close to it. But, he could deal with that. He could try and help with that.

Jeongguk’s harsh breathing was stuttering, coming out more in light, rapid pants rather than in proper lung fulls of air, and Yoongi knew it wouldn’t take long for the other to pass out if he continued breathing that way.

“You need to take deeper breaths, okay? Come here.” Moving himself to be behind Jeongguk, the blonde pulled the younger so his back was resting against his chest, taking large, pronounced breaths.

“Follow what I’m doing, sync your breathing up to mine.”

Jeongguk did as he was told. It took a few minutes though, his eyes closed against the nausea and through the focus of trying to settle his rebelling body.

But slowly, surely, his breathing began to settle down. What was once rapid, barely there breaths, turned into deeper, fuller ones.

Once his breathing had settled completely, the two sat in silence for another few minutes. Jeongguk leaned his head back, taking the comfort from Yoongi being right there, as he felt the last few wisps of his anxiety attack fade away.

“Feel better?” Yoongi questioned, his voice soft.

Jeongguk nodded lightly, not making an effort to form words.

“Feel good enough to get on the bike and start heading home? We don’t have to yet, and we can stop whenever you want to.”

Jeongguk simply nodded again. This time, however, he found his voice.

“Yeah… if I can have your ipod again for the journey home.”

Yoongi let go a small chuckle. “Of course you can. You like the music then?”

“I love it. Your voice keeps me calm.”

Thankfully for the blonde, Jeongguk was looking the wrong way to see the blood flush his cheeks.

“I’m glad it does. Come on.” Yoongi carefully stood up, lifting Jeongguk to his feet as he did.

How it had only been a few weeks since they’d started talking was beyond him. Yoongi felt like it had been months, if not years, since the two had gotten together.

Some would say the two were still in the puppy love stage, but Yoongi knew that it wasn’t the case.

He already knew he loved Jeongguk. Time would only make those feelings grow.

He lead the maknae over to the bike, securing both of their helmets and making sure Jeongguk had his music playing before they got on and headed off, back to the university.

Jeongguk stayed silent for the journey. He didn’t ask Yoongi to pull over at any point, he didn’t try to talk to distract himself. He simply sat quietly, arms wrapped around Yoongi’s waist and nose buried into the back of Yoongi’s jacket, the older’s voice surrounding him through the music that played.

Yoongi tried to put all of his focus on the road as they went, and regardless of the fact he struggled to do that, worry knawing at his chest for the youngest’s most recent anxiety attack, he still managed to keep enough focus to keep them both safe all the way back to their home.

Once they were back in the university parking lot and off the bike, Yoongi took the opportunity to look at Jeongguk. Properly look at him.

The way his hair was slightly dirty. Not quite in dire need of a wash, but a little swear slicked from his anxiety. The way the corner of his mouth twitched a little under Yoongi’s gaze. The way his dark eyes lit up when he caught Yoongi’s own. The way his fingers were so gentle when taking Yoongi’s headphones off his ears.

“I love you.”

———

The words had come from nowhere. Jeongguk stopped in his tracks. He could tell Yoongi hadn’t planned on saying them, especially this early into the relationship.

But he couldn’t help it. The words were begging to be voiced.

And the way Jeongguk turned such a bright pink colour only made it better.

“I love you too.”

Despite the fact Jeongguk didn’t hesitate with the reply, his hands immediately went to his face, attempting to hide his blushing from the older. But Yoongi merely laughed, pulling his hands away.

“I want to see your face, not your hands.”

When Jeongguk just turned pinker, Yoongi smiled, leaning over and kissing Jeongguk gently before pulling away, beginning to walk to his dorm.

“Should I drop my stuff off at my own dorm before coming to yours?”

“What’s the point?” Yoongi questioned, to which Jeongguk didn’t really have an answer.

“…Okay.”

Yoongi put his hand out, open palm, as an offering to the younger.

Jeongguk ignored it, ihs hands going into his pockets instead.

If Yoongi was offended, he didn’t show it, simply walking side by side with Jeongguk.

Within moments, they were at his brother’s dorm, Yoongi making his way inside and throwing his backpack in the corner of the living area.

Junghyun was sat on the couch with Byeol, looking through the gallery on his camera. When he realised Jeongguk was there though, the camera was quickly put down. His brother and Byeol immediately standing and walking over to him, wrapping Jeongguk in a mis-match of arms.

“Gguk! How’re you doing?” Hyun asked with a grin, rocking the youngest back and forth.

“I’m good, hyung.”

“Did you have a good weekend?” Byeol asked. When Jeongguk nodded, obviously not really in the right focus to hold a conversation with the two, he was let go from the group hug.

“Lunch will be ready in about half an hour,” Jin called from the small kitchen, pulling Jeongguk’s attention. “There’s enough for you two as well if you want some.”

“We’ll be fine, Jin-hyung.” Yoongi called from where he was making his way into his room. “Thanks anyway! Save Jeongguk some, just in case.”

Jeongguk blushed a little, noticing Jin’s eyes on him, before he hurried after Yoongi into the private room.

“Do you think they know?” He asked once the door was closed and Jeongguk had sat down on Yoongi’s bed.

“Know what?”

“That we… you know.”

“How would they know?”

When Jeongguk shrugged, taking his jacket off as he did, Yoongi gave a little frown.

“Yesterday was your first, wasn’t it?”

Jeongguk didn’t answer.

“It’s okay if it was, Gguk.”

“…Yeah, yesterday was my first.”

Yoongi then smiled, sitting next to Jeongguk and kissing him lightly once more. Jeongguk kissed back, thankful the door was closed so his brother wasn’t witness to his love.

“That’s adorable, and I love you.”

Laughing as Jeongguk’s blush didn’t fade, Yoongi pulled his laptop out from the corner and set it up on the desk, leaning over it as he loaded up Netflix.

“Anything in particular you want to watch?” He asked, not looking at Jeongguk as he spoke.

“Not really… hyung, weren’t we going to do our homework? Mine is still at my dorm.”

“I’m sure it can wait one day. It’s still the weekend after all.”

The younger didn’t really want to argue, so instead, nodded along and leaned back on the bed, getting comfortable but making sure he could still see the screen.

When Yoongi joined him moments later, a rom-com he’d never heard of beginning to play on the screen, with subtitles already on automatically for him, Jeongguk quickly found himself with his head resting on Yoongi’s chest.

With the older’s heartbeat echoing in his head, Jeongguk quickly found himself being lulled into relaxation, his eyes getting heavier by the second.

Something was happening on the screen, the female lead was upset at the male lead. But Jeongguk hadn’t been paying enough attention to figure out why. It seemed dramatic though.

“Hyung…?” Jeongguk’s tired voice called, thick and husky with the sleep pulling at him.

“Yeah, Gguk?”

“I never thought I’d love someone as much as I love you.”

Yoongi’s heart damn near melted at the tired words from the younger, but instead of externally reacting, Yoongi simply worked his phone out of his pocket, lay it next to him, and got more comfortable on the bed, allowing Jeongguk to rest on him.

“I love you too, Jeongguk. So, so much. Don’t forget it, okay? I know we haven’t been together long, or even known each other long… but you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.”

Jeongguk smiled sleepily against Yoongi’s chest, and within minutes, he was sound asleep.

Yoongi stayed awake a little longer, gently brushing his hand up and down Jeongguk’s back as he watched him sleep.

Despite the fact he was the one who had put the rom-com on, Yoongi didn’t really care about what was going on in the film playing in front of him. Instead, his focus was on the freshman, so calm and soundly asleep on his chest.

His heart fluttered a little, but it wasn’t in a bad way.

Leaning down, he placed a soft kiss to Jeongguk’s hair, inhaling the scent that was purely Jeongguk, and letting his own eyes fall closed with the comfort that was his company.

———

Significant time had managed to pass during their nap, both sound asleep despite the commotion that was Junghyun and Byeol arguing outside their room.

When Jeongguk awoke, however, it was to Junghyun’s undignified screeching echoing through the thin walls and assaulting his still aided ears.

“This is so unfair!”

“What’s unfair is the fact you’re a cheater!”

“Looking at your screen isn’t cheating!”

“It so it! I was winning!”

“And now you’re not! Not my fault you don’t have the skill!”

“The skill of what?? Cheating??”

“It’s not cheating!”

Jeongguk let a huff of a laugh escape at the two’s argument. A little annoyed that they had woken him with it, but amused by the fact it was so purely Junghyun and Byeol that it was funny.

Junghyun had always been a cheat when it came to video games, especially since Byeol was so naturally good at them. Junghyun was a sore loser, so he’d do anything in his power to win.

But he could tell even from the angered tones coming from the two that it wasn’t a serious argument. His brothers never really argued seriously, and when they did, it was for a legitimate reason. Not simply because one had… bent the rules of a video game a little.

Looking around, Jeongguk took notice that Yoongi was sound asleep below him, the older’s arm still wrapped around Jeongguk’s waist with a limp grip, his pale lips gently parted with sleep.

It was soothing, seeing his hyung so relaxed and quiet. So calm underneath his weight.

Jeongguk felt his heart well a little with admiration.

That was, until, he heard Yoongi’s phone buzzing next to them.

He tried to ignore it at first, tried to not break his boyfriend’s privacy.

And after a moment, the buzzing stopped. Jeongguk could see from the corner of his eye that Yoongi had missed a call.

‘1 Missed Call: Jiyong’

Frowning a little, Jeongguk chose to ignore it. After all, the two were best friends, even if Jiyong did hate him. He couldn’t be mad at Yoongi for having friends.

When Yoongi’s phone started vibrating again though, Jeongguk debated waking the older. Maybe it was important. Maybe Jiyong was in trouble and needed Yoongi to help him?

But if that was the case… Jeongguk shook his head. He couldn’t let jealousy take over importance of someone’s safety.

Jeongguk reached over, about to shake Yoongi awake with one hand while he grabbed the phone with the other. But then the vibrating stopped, and a single text came through instead.

His eyes couldn’t avoid it, the phone was in his hand, facing him. He couldn’t avoid reading the text that had popped up, and what he did read stopped his heart in his chest.

From: Jiyong
To: Yoongi
Message: Have you told Jeongguk that dating him was a dare yet?

After Jeongguk had read the text from his bully, he hadn’t freaked out.

He hadn’t started shouting or demanding explanations.

He’d simply put the phone down next to Yoongi’s head, gotten up, removed his hearing aids, grabbed his backpack, and left.

When he’d gotten into the main area, Jin had smiled at him and tried to offer him food. Junghyun walked over, seemingly to apologise to waking Jeongguk with his and Byeol’s argument.

But Jeongguk ignored both of them. Not even looking at the older students as he walked straight out of the dorm without looking back. He didn’t slam the door. He didn’t make a big deal out of leaving.

He just left.

What did Jiyong mean, that he was a dare? What hadn’t Yoongi told him?

Was everything fake?

Had he given his all into such a short relationship that had turned out to be fake from the start?

He’d given his first time to Yoongi. He’d given his first ‘I love you’ to Yoongi. He’d pushed himself out of his comfort zone, he’d let the older see him at his weakest.

And for what? A game? A dare?

There was a hollow numbness in his chest that Jeongguk just couldn’t shift. He wanted to cry. He wanted to shout and scream and demand explanations. But instead, he just felt blank.

When he’d gotten back to his own dorm, Jiyong was sat on the couch with a bowl of food. Seeing the younger walk in, Jiyong grinned.

He saw Jiyong open his mouth and begin to talk, but Jeongguk looked away and signed to the other, knowing Jiyong wouldn’t understand it.

‘I can’t hear you.’

Jeongguk then walked straight past him and went into his room, closing the door behind him.

He threw himself face down on his bed and tried to take control of the aching hole in his chest. At least it was better than overwhelming anxiety.

Their relationship had only been a few weeks, and some of that hadn’t even been official. It was nothing that should break him.

So why was he feeling so empty? Why was he feeling like his world was caving in around him?

Jeongguk felt his phone ringing in his jacket pocket, but he ignored it. There was only really two possibilities of who it could be. It was either one of his brothers, or it was Yoongi. And right now, he didn’t really want to talk to any of those people. He wanted to be alone, to figure out what the hell was going on by himself.

When he phone stopped ringing, it immediately started throwing out short, small vibrations with text messages. Still, Jeongguk ignored them.

He could feel the rumble of the door of his dorm open, but still, Jeongguk couldn’t bring himself to care. It was probably one of his actual dorm mates returning home from where-ever they’d been.

But he was proven wrong when his room door opened, Junghyun heading inside and immediately sitting next to his little brother.

Feeling a tap on his shoulder after the weight on his bed had shifted, Jeongguk ignored it at first. But his brother was insistent, and Jeongguk eventually lifted his head to look at him.

‘Gguk,’ Junghyun began signing, obviously having immediately noticed Jeongguk’s aids weren’t in. ‘Gguk what’s happened? What’s going on?’

At his brother’s words, the waterworks broke.

Almost immediately, Jeongguk went from feeling hollow and blank, to tears flooring his eyes and pouring down his cheeks.

‘What did he mean?’ Jeongguk’s hands shook as he signed, hiccups exploding in his chest, sobs trembling through his lips.

‘What did who mean, Ggukie?’

‘Jiyong, he texted Yoongi, he asked if I knew I was just a dare yet.’

Junghyun didn’t reply for several too-long moments.

‘Whether you knew you were just a dare?’

At Jeongguk’s nod, he felt his older brother’s body tense beside him.

‘I’m sure you’ve just misunderstood.’ Although from the angry shake in Junghyun’s hands, Jeongguk doubted even his brother thought that was the case. ‘I’m sure you’re not a dare or whatever Jiyong said. Yoongi adores you, you know that.’

“What kind of secret conversation are you two having in here?” Jiyong leaned against the door frame, and Jeongguk managed to read the older’s lips through the corner of his eye. “Debating whether the text you read was true?”

“Fuck off, Jiyong.” Junghyun bit back, and Jeongguk didn’t want to watch anymore. But he knew he had to. He wasn’t ready to listen yet, so he had to keep reading their lips.

“You know Yoongi only started trying to date Jeongguk because I dared him to.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“That night, the party, during Truth or Dare.” Jiyong said, the smirk never leaving his face. “After Jeongguk stormed out, I dared Yoongi to try and make him fall in love with him. He agreed. Said it would be funny. He wanted to see how quickly he could get you to say you loved him. How quickly he could get you into bed. Well, I guess it didn’t take long at all, did it?”

Jeongguk stayed silent. He felt Junghyun go even tenser beside him, his brother’s muscles shaking as he tried to contain the anger he was feeling, tried to contain the protective streak over his younger brother.

Jeongguk, however, remained blank from the words. Finally deciding to talk despite the shake to his lips and the hiccups in his chest.

“So…That’s all this was? This was all a dare, from the very beginning? From him following me around, our study date, the butterfly garden, the beach… all of it… was just a dare? Was he just trying to get in my pants…?”

“You got it. He’s quite a smooth one, our Yoongi, isn’t he?”

“I want to be alone now, hyung.”

Junghyun looked up at Jeongguk, tears in his own eyes despite the fact there were no longer any in Jeongguk’s. His heart ached for his brother, and he knew there was nothing he could do to make it better.

‘Gguk,’ The older had gone back to signing. ‘You don’t want to be alone right now.’

‘I do. Please, leave me alone. I want to be by myself.’

Junghyun hesitated for a second, before giving a small nod and standing, walking out of the room and shoving past Jiyong as he did.

The other senior simply laughed as he was knocked into the wall, but he left Jeongguk alone too.

He could tell his brother hadn’t left yet. He knew he was probably yelling at Jiyong, trying to defend him from the cruel dare that had been played on him. Jeongguk was happy he couldn’t hear what was being said.

But Jeongguk couldn’t really feel anything. He couldn’t find the energy to go and try to stop his brother murdering Jiyong. He couldn’t find the energy to sit up and check his phone. He had no energy to ask Yoongi for an explanation of his own.

After all, why did he need Yoongi to explain? He’d just gotten it all in clear clarity straight from Jiyong. He didn’t need Yoongi’s excuses. He’d taken enough from Jeongguk, he wasn’t taking his dignity too.

When light vibrations of knuckles against his door, grabbed his attention, Jeongguk didn’t response. But he also didn’t argue when the door was pushed open to reveal Jimin and Taehyung.

Jimin looked as if he was going to burst into tears at any second, and Taehyung had already been crying, the younger of the two’s eyes puffy and red.

Apparently other people were crying over Jeongguk’s failed, fake relationship more than he was himself.

“Ggukie,” Taehyung sniffled, walking over and climbing into the bed with the freshman. He didn’t hesitate when pulling the blankets from underneath Jeongguk, laying next to him face to face and pulling the blanket back over them. “Are you okay?”

Jeongguk felt the bed move as Jimin sat on the end of it, a soft hand finding its way to his back as Taehyung clenched his fists against his chest.

“I’m okay.”

He felt Jimin talk from his feet, but didn’t look to see what the other had said. He didn’t need to, as Taehyung repeated it for him.

“He said ‘That was a bare faced lie’… Ggukie, I swear we didn’t know.” Taehyung mumbled, and Jeongguk was struggling to understand his lips through the strain of the older trying to not cry. “We didn’t know about the dare.”

“It’s okay, hyung. I’m not mad at you. Or Jimin-hyung. I’m not mad at either of you.”

“B-but you should be!” Taehyung cried, wiping at his eyes, heart aching for his friend. “We should have protected you!”

“There’s no need. I’m okay. It was only a few weeks.”

Taehyung merely sniffled again, hiding his face in Jeongguk’s chest as if he was the one who had to be comforted. As if he was the one who had just found out the last few weeks of his life had been a total lie.

Jeongguk finally began moving, pulling his arm up to rest on Taehyung’s back and rubbed it softly, trying to comfort the other who cried for his sake.

“I’m okay, hyung. It’s okay.”

Taehyung just cried more.

Jimin swam into Jeongguk’s view, and the youngest looked up, knowing he was about to be spoken to.

“You shouldn’t be trying to comfort us, Ggukie. It’s okay to not be okay. Come on, you need to eat something, okay? You gotta eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“I know you’re not… but you still need to eat something… okay? Please?” Jimin tried, but when Jeongguk didn’t even react to the words, Jimin lay himself down on the bed with the other two instead.

“I don’t know what to do, Jeongguk.” Jimin admitted, not looking at the raven but making sure he stayed at an angle where Jeongguk could still understand him. “I don’t know how to make you feel better.”

“I’ll feel better in time, Jimin-hyung.” Jeongguk replied, still with such little emotion in his voice that it made Taehyung and Jimin’s hearts ache. “I promise. I’d really just like to be alone for now.”

“We’re not letting you be alone through this, Ggukie.” Taehyung mumbled. He’d say it over and over, as many times as Jeongguk needed to hear it until his message went through. “We’re staying with you. You need friends.”

That seemed to be the piece of straw that broke the camel’s back, as finally, Jeongguk’s face twisted into one of sorrow and tears began to fall.

Taehyung moved a little as Jeongguk curled up smaller into his grip, curling into the smallest ball and sobbing brokenly into Taehyung’s chest. Immediately, Taehyung’s chest began vibrating softly as he cooed in an attempt to soothe the younger, wrapping his arms around Jeongguk and holding him tightly. Within moments, Jimin had done the same, climbing over them to get between Jeongguk and the wall and spooning him from behind.

He could feel Jimin talking behind him, but he couldn’t tell what the older was saying. It was comforting though, especially once Jimin’s chubby cheek found itself resting on Jeongguk’s head.

They stayed like that for a while, Jeongguk sobbing brokenly into Taehyung as the two friends tried their hardest to soothe their youngest, but still let him know it was okay to let it out.

Their hearts broke at seeing the other so sad.

Jeongguk’s phone continued to vibrate in his jacket as they rested there, enjoying each other’s company as much as could be expected as Jeongguk’s sobs slowly calmed. A fury of missed calls and text messages must have assaulted Jimin and Taehyung’s ears, but Jeongguk made no move to check them, so they didn’t either.

Eventually, the vibrations stopped.

He saw Taehyung look up as a knock sounded against the door, but didn’t move to let whoever it was in. The door didn’t open.

Taehyung then turned back to Jeongguk. “Your brother is yelling, Ggukie.”

Slowly, as if he didn’t have the energy to do it, Jeongguk sat up. He finally took his aids and put them in, and immediately, he knew what was happening.

“Yoongi! Jeongguk doesn’t want to see you! None of us want to see you, so just take Jiyong and fuck off to where none of us have to see you again.”

“You don’t understand.” Yoongi’s voice was like a dagger to Jeongguk’s heart. “I need to explain to him.”

Jeongguk untangled himself fully from Taehyung and Jimin, the younger of the two reaching out to grab Jeongguk’s wrist as he went towards the door, but Jeongguk dodged the hand, opening the door and staring Yoongi straight in the face.

The blonde had been crying. Red, puffy eyes matching Jeongguk’s own as they stared at each other. Junghyun was behind him, face red and fists shaking with anger.

Jiyong appeared to be holding an ice pack to his face, but Jeongguk didn’t really care enough to find out why that was.

“I don’t want to see you, Yoongi-ssi.”

The more formal honorific made Yoongi visibly flinch.

“Jeongguk, please just let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain. I was a game to you. A joke. A dare to see how long it would take for me to open up to you. A game to see how long it would take to get me into bed. I get it now. I get why everything moved so fast. Because you were playing me. You were trying to see how far you could push me to get me to trust you. Well, it worked. I trusted you. I opened myself up to you. I gave myself to you. I hope you’re happy, Yoongi-ssi. I don’t want to see you again.”

Yoongi’s breath hitched in his throat, but Jeongguk continued.

“I don’t want to see you after class, or on the weekends, or in my dorm. If I ever see you again, it will be too soon. Please, just leave me alone. We’re not together anymore. I don’t even know if we ever were.”

“Of course we were together, Jeongguk!” Yoongi attempted, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall again. “We were together!”

“We’re not anymore.”

With that said, Jeongguk turned and closed the door again, climbing back into bed with his friends and letting himself sob again.

He could hear Junghyun continuing to yell at Yoongi outside the room, but he couldn’t bring himself to move or care.

His brother could do what he wanted, as long as Yoongi left him alone.

Before too long, he heard the door from the dorm open and close again, hopefully signalling the fact Yoongi had left.

Once again, Jeongguk’s phone rang. Once again, it was ignored until it stopped.

Taehyung had dozed off next to him, eyes still weeping slowly through the pain on his friend’s behalf. Jimin was still sniffling, slowly rubbing his hand up and down Jeongguk’s back.

And Jeongguk was feeling his chest tighten as another panic attack began to grip him.

He was already exhausted from the emotions raging his body, he didn’t have the energy to fall into a panic attack.

But his brain didn’t seem to agree with that.

Everything was just too much going on around him.

The fact he’d given his all to someone who didn’t care. He’d let himself trust, he’d opened himself up.

And it was all for nothing.

Jeongguk’s breaths got faster. For the second time in two days he felt the terror grip his heart.

The room was suddenly far too small, Jimin and Taehyung were far too close to him.

He’d given everything to Yoongi. He’d given his first time. His first kiss. His first I Love Yous.

Everything had gone into a dare.

Jimin noticed immediately when Jeongguk’s breathing began to change, sitting up and shuffling away from the younger.

“Gguk? Jeonggukkie, it’s okay. Come on, you’re alright. You have me and Tae, you’re okay.”

But if Jeongguk could hear him, he didn’t pay any attention.

Jimin leaned over, shaking Taehyung awake and pulling him away from Jeongguk to give him some space as the younger panicked.

The other was confused for a moment, but quickly figured out what was going on.

“Ggukie, hey, it’s alright. You can breathe.”

When Jeongguk didn’t response, just continuing to stay curled in his ball of sorrow with one hand gripping his heaving chest, air struggling to get into his lungs… Taehyung felt his own heart break.

He carefully climbed over the younger, going over to the window and opening it to try and let some fresh air into the room, trying to make Jeongguk feel less trapped.

“Do you want us to sit with you, Ggukie?” Taehyung asked with a quiet voice. When Jeongguk shook his head rapidly, Taehyung just nodded, sitting on the floor by the window instead.

“Okay. We’re right here if you need something, okay? We’re right here. We’re not leaving you.”

They sat like that for a while. Taehyung against the window, Jimin on the edge of the bed leaning against the wall, and Jeongguk curled in a ball with only his laboured breaths as noise.

However, too long was passing without Jeongguk’s breathing getting any better. Taehyung could see the youngest’s eyes were open but unfocused, he could see how pale Jeongguk’s fingerbeds and lips were turning as he began to struggle more.

He’d put money down on a bet that if Jeongguk tried to sit up he’d immediately pass out.

“Gguk, listen to us.” Taehyung tried, getting to his feet and slowly making his way over to the other. “You gotta breathe better, okay?”

Only wheezing, gasping breaths answered him.

“Deeper breaths, come on. You need to breathe before you faint.”

Jeongguk still said nothing, simply opening his hands up to show Taehyung all 10 fingers.

He couldn’t talk. So apparently, he was telling Taehyung the level he was at the only way he could.

Taehyung turned to Jimin, turning a little pale at the gesture.

“He’s saying he’s at a level 10, Jiminie.” Taehyung said, voice shaking a little. He didn’t really know what to do, he didn’t know how to help.

“O-okay, it’s alright.” Jimin responded, shuffling a little closer to Jeongguk and placing his hand on his back. When the youngest flinched so harshly away that he fell off the bed, hitting his head on the way down, Jimin squeaked in fear.

“Ggukie, come on. We don’t want to have to take you to the nurse. Taehyung tried, attempting to calm the other down any way he could as he knelt in front of Jeongguk, trying to see if he did any damage to himself by falling.

At the sight of blood on Jeongguk’s forehead, a small lump and cut where he had hit himself on the bedside table, Taehyung felt his own heart clench with panic.

“I-If you don’t calm down we’re going to have to go to the nurse, so please just let us help you!”

Jeongguk slowly looked up at Taehyung, eyes still unfocused through his wheezing breaths, but he gave a small nod, showing he understood what the older was saying.

Jimin got down from the bed, reaching Jeongguk’s side in a second and kneeling down.

“Can I touch you, Gguk?” When Jeongguk nodded again, Jimin took hold of Jeongguk’s chin with gentle fingers, slowly tilting his head back to have a better look at the wound on his head. “It doesn’t look too bad…just…please be careful.”

Taehyung slowly moved, getting behind Jeongguk between the boy and the bed, and pulled Jeongguk back into his chest so the younger could feel his breathing.

Jeongguk merely tensed. The act was so similar to what Yoongi had done the day before. So similar to how his boyfriend, no, ex boyfriend had calmed him down from the panic attack when leaving the cottage that it only made his heart swell with hurt again.

But he knew he had to calm down, so he swallowed back the pain and tried to match Taehyung’s breaths.

It took a while, but eventually, Jeongguk slumped back into Taehyung’s grip. Eyes fluttering closed as his breaths became deeper and colour came back to his face.

The two sophomores didn’t know whether Jeongguk had fainted from the panic attack, or simply fallen asleep from exhaustion, but either way, a breath of relief passed through the two.

They had never seen Jeongguk panic like that before.

He’d been weirdly calm throughout the panic attack. Crying, but not screaming and terrified like they’d expected his Level 10 to be. Instead, he’d appeared to be blank while struggling to breathe. He’d been so out of it that he’d barely managed to keep air going in and out of his lungs. He hadn’t had the oxygen to scream and sob.

If anything, that panic attack was more scary than the others they had witnessed.

“I-Is he okay now, Jiminie?” Taehyung questioned from where he held Jeongguk against his chest, comfortable feeling the other’s back moving with his even breaths unlike what they had witnessed previously.

Jimin leaned forward, taking a tissue and carefully wiping the small amount of blood away from Jeongguk’s head so he could see the wound better.

The lump was small, and it had already stopped bleeding.

“I think he’s fine, physically at least.” Jimin mumbled in response, keeping his voice low so as not to disturb the other’s sleep. “I can’t believe Yoongi and Jiyong would do that to him though.”

Moments later, Jeongguk’s phone rang again. Deciding he had to check, just in case it was something important, Jimin rescued the younger’s phone from his jacket, checking the screen.

The number called wasn’t saved, but Jimin knew Jin-hyung’s number anyway.

Assuming Jeongguk wouldn’t mind, Jimin accepted the call.

“Jin-hyung, it’s Jimin.” He greeted, although his tone showed that everything was not okay.

“Jimin? Where’s Jeongguk?” Jin frowned from the other end of the line.

“He just had a major panic attack. He’s currently asleep on Taehyung. Jin-hyung, it’s…it’s bad. Jeongguk found out that Jiyong dared Yoongi to date him. It’s broken him. He’s so upset he can’t function. I can’t get him to eat, he’s barely responding to us, even when his aids are in. He’s just…he’s bad, Jin-hyung. What do we do?”

“Just…” Jin hesitated, trailing off for a second. “Just be there for him for now. I’m going to come over and bring some food. It will just me and Namjoon, okay? Yoongi is here right now with Jiyong, but neither of us are talking to him anyway. Byeol’s had to go out to try and calm Junghyun down.”

Jimin nodded lightly in response. “Okay, hyung. Thank you. Jeongguk probably won’t be awake for a while, but we’ll save the food for him.”

“We’ll be there soon.”

Over the next week, life was hell for Jeongguk. He went to his classes, he spoke when he was spoken to, and he continued with his studies as if his life hadn’t fallen apart in front of him.

Jimin and Taehyung tried to keep a close eye on him. But after everything that had happened, Jeongguk had locked himself away from them. He spent his nights in the library when Jiyong was in their room, spent his days in his room or in class when Jiyong wasn’t. His brother, Byeol, and Yoongi called constantly, but Jeongguk ignored each and everyone one of them.

If the experience had taught him anything, it was that his trust was a precious thing. All he needed to do was get through the year, and all he needed was him and his classes for that. All he had to do was study and get good grades. He wasn’t there to make friends. He wasn’t there to have a boyfriend. He was there to get his degree in Psychology and then move on with his life.

Of course, he still trusted his brother and Byeol. They’d never given him a reason to not. But it was just… it was easier to lock everyone out. Especially when Junghyun and Byeol were still part of the friendship group he was so heavily avoiding.

The second day after the break up, Yoongi had tried to meet Jeongguk out of class. He looked like a little lost puppy, standing in front of the door with such a sad gaze in his eyes that Jeongguk almost stopped. Almost. But he didn’t, he walked straight past Yoongi as if he hadn’t even seen him. The blonde had tried to talk to him, tried to grab hold of Jeongguk’s hand, but the younger had ignored the attempts and continued to walk away while removing his aids. He didn’t need them now he wasn’t in class, it’s not like he was going to talk to anyone anyway.

He didn’t need Yoongi, and Yoongi didn’t need him.

It was only once Jeongguk had gotten out of the building and found himself under a tree, completely alone, that he allowed himself to cry.

He went through the phases like this for a whole week. He got up, went to class, ate a piece of fruit and had a coffee during his break, went to his other class, went back to the dorm, did his homework, and went to sleep. He soon found that eating nothing more than a piece of fruit every day was incredibly bad for his body.

Every day, Jeongguk had found a box of still warm food sitting in front of his bedroom door. He knew who it was from. He knew Seokjin was trying to help. But he found his appetite wasn’t there, so every day the food went ignored. Even when it was moved and replaced, Jeongguk never ate any of it.

After the break up on the Monday morning, it only took him until the Friday to begin really feeling the effects of the abuse he was putting his body through.

Of course, this just so happened to be yet another time Yoongi had tried to grab his attention out of class.

The whole two hour lecture, Jeongguk had been feeling… off. His focus just wasn’t there, almost like he was having another panic attack. But unlike with his panic attacks, the painful grip of anxiety wasn’t present in his stomach or in his chest. In fact, what had replaced it was just a dull emptiness.

As he sat taking notes, trying to focus on his lecturer’s words, something about how exactly the human brain is trained to react to situations and how it processes the world around it, Jeongguk felt his focus shifting away by the second.

He just… couldn’t wrap his head around what was being said, the words sounded foreign to him, with no actual link to any meaning. His head felt like it was floating above the classroom, away from the students surrounding him.

Regardless to the rising nausea in his stomach that had accompanied the lightheaded-ness, Jeongguk continued trying to take notes of his class. He knew he’d need it later on down the line, and his own personal life had already become too much of a distraction to his work.

Thankfully, it didn’t take too long until the class was over. Once the professor had told them they were free to go, Jeongguk slowly got to his feet, sliding his study materials into his bag and made his slow, shaking way out of the classroom.

When he saw Yoongi once again stood outside, waiting for him, Jeongguk’s heart dropped. He didn’t have the energy or the focus to deal with Yoongi right now. He couldn’t move fast enough to get away.

Once they’d made eye contact, Yoongi switched from looking upset to looking concerned. “Jeongguk,” Yoongi started, his voice a little gruffer than normal Jeongguk noticed as the blonde walked towards him. “Are you okay? You look pale.”

Jeongguk began to step away, but found the floor was no longer where he thought the floor was. In fact, the floor appeared to have disappeared completely.

Oh, it was under him now. When had he laid down? And why were so many people surrounding him?

Yoongi’s face was close to his now, so close that Jeongguk could smell the cologne the other was wearing. The same one he had always worn, the scent that was just so tied to Yoongi’s entire being. It made Jeongguk happy to be able to smell it again, despite how much it hurt.

Yoongi’s lips were moving in front of him. His perfect skin on his forehead was furrowed. What was he saying? The words were too muffled for Jeongguk to understand, sounding more like they were underwater than in a corridor in their university. Had his hearing aids errored? Were they broken?

The last bit of energy Jeongguk had left faded, and he found himself no longer able to keep his eyes open as he faded from consciousness.

———

Yoongi knew it was probably pointless. Jeongguk had ignored all of his calls and texts, had ignored him when Yoongi had tried to meet him out of class earlier in the week… but he had to try. He had to try and explain to the younger that things weren’t exactly as they seemed.

So, he tried again. Waiting in front of Jeongguk’s class to try and talk to the freshman. He knew he’d probably he ignored, but he still had to try. He knew Jeongguk was avoiding everyone, even his brother and Byeol had been unable to really talk to him too much.

It was as if Jeongguk wanted to pretend none of them existed anymore.

Yoongi could understand that. He knew he had hurt the younger quite badly. But that wasn’t Junghyun and Byeol’s fault. Nor anyone else in the friend group’s fault, except maybe Jiyong. Well, actually, definitely Jiyong. He was the most at fault out of all of them. He knew Jin and Namjoon had been trying to help, delivering food to Jeongguk to make sure he was still eating, but it looked like he’d been ignoring their attempts too.

Regardless, Yoongi waited, hoping this time he’d finally be able to talk to Jeongguk like he wanted to.

When the time came and students began filtering out of the room, Yoongi stood up straighter, looking for the familiar head of black hair that he’d grown to adore over the past few weeks.

And when he saw it, his heart sank.

Jeongguk seemed… off. His eyes were unfocused, and there was an unsteady limp to his walk that Yoongi had never seen before. He seemed barely able to stay upright, his body swaying at he walked.

And as their eyes locked, Yoongi made his way over to the other.

“Jeongguk, are you okay? You look pale.”

When Jeongguk didn’t answer and appeared to be going to step away, Yoongi reached to grab him.

He grabbed him a whole lot faster when Jeongguk tilted over, going towards the floor rather than away from Yoongi.

The blonde yelled out as Jeongguk collapsed, grabbing hold of him as quickly as he could to try and break Jeongguk’s fall a little, but the freshman still hit the floor quite hard, and just lay there, dazed and unfocused.

Immediately students began surrounding them, asking questions and trying to get a look at the barely conscious boy on the floor in front of them. It made Yoongi angry, Jeongguk wasn’t just a spectacle for the rest of them to find amusement in.

“Someone go and get the nurse!” He yelled out to them, and when none of the students surrounding him moved, Yoongi gave a little growl. “Now!”

That seemed to do the trick as the crowd dissipated a little bit, thinning out as people went to go and get help. Yoongi turned his attention back to his ex boyfriend, lying dazed on the floor, and leaned closer to him.

“Jeongguk? Can you hear me? Are you alright?”

Jeongguk didn’t say anything, just continued staring into space. Yoongi saw his lips turn a little into a smile, but the blonde didn’t know the reasoning behind it. A quick check to Jeongguk’s ears confirmed that his hearing aids were indeed in, so it wasn’t that the youngest couldn’t hear him because of that.

“Gguk, listen. What’s wrong? What’s happening? Did you get hurt?”

Yoongi could see the small bump on the younger’s head and the cut that had almost finished healing. He didn’t exactly know where it was from, but it seemed healed enough to not be the cause of the other’s state.

Only moments later, Jeongguk’s eyes had fluttered closed as the younger passed out entirely.

Yoongi felt fear grip hold of his chest. It would have been easier if he’d known exactly what was happening, but Jeongguk didn’t appear to be fevered, his breathing was a little rough but not to the level of a panic attack… nothing appeared to be wrong with the other.

Thankfully it didn’t take long for the nurse to get to them, demanding everyone give them space as she got to Jeongguk’s side and checked him over quickly for any injuries before getting him up off the floor, one arm over her shoulders and the other over Yoongi’s.

Together, with no words exchanged, the two got Jeongguk to the nurse’s office, where he was laid down on a bed and the nurse got to work.

It didn’t take long to find the cause of his faint.

“His blood sugar is really low, he hasn’t been eating.” The nurse announced to Yoongi, who had to blink back tears at the news.

“Is there anything that could have been bothering him?”

When Yoongi shrugged, knowing full well what had been bothering Jeongguk but not willing to out him like that to the nurse, the medicial practitioner got to work with waking Jeongguk up and getting him to drink something full of sugar. A coke, from what Yoongi could see of the can.

Sending a quick text to Junghyun, to inform the senior that his brother was getting medical treatment, Yoongi made his way out of the room.

When Jeongguk did eventually fully come back to consciousness, Yoongi was sure that he would be the last person Jeongguk would want to see.

Besides, he had to talk to Jiyong first.

———

By the time Yoongi made it to his dorm, Junghyun and Byeol had already left. Yoongi assumed to go and check on Jeongguk, and Yoongi couldn’t really blame them. That was all he really wanted to do too, to make sure Jeongguk was alright and see if he could convince the younger that eating was a lot more important than Jeongguk seemed to think it was.

But first, he had to talk to Jiyong. He had to straighten everything out. He had to, if he ever wanted this to be made right.

From: Yoongi
To: Jiyong
Message: Come to my dorm. We need to talk. Now.

He didn’t recieve a reply from the older, but he assumed after the message had lit up with the little ‘read’ symbol that Jiyong was on his way.

And he was right.

Within 10 minutes, his best friend had come through the door, smirking at Yoongi.

“Yoongs, you wanted to talk?” He called, his voice holding far too much happiness for how down in the dumps Yoongi had been over the past week.

Yoongi didn’t say anything, simply leading Jiyong into his room. The room where everything had started going wrong.

Turning towards the older once the door was closed, trying to make sure that Seokjin and Namjoon weren’t going to eavesdrop on them, Yoongi looked at him with a frown.

“You’re far too happy right now.”

“Why wouldn’t I be? Everything worked out. You won the dare, you got him to date you, to sleep with you, and fall in love with you. And I got to watch the disrespectful shrimp be put in his place by getting his heart broken. You should be finding this funnier too, Yoongi.”

Yoongi simply shook his head.

“You really don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

“You’re a massive asshole, that’s what.”

Jiyong at least had the respect to frown at that.

“I don’t get it. I’ve done nothing we didn’t agree to.”

“I didn’t agree to you telling him.”

“I didn’t tell him I asked you a question and he read your phone. How is it my fault that he was being a snoop?”

“Because you knew I was asleep, you knew he was with me. You knew there was a risk of him seeing it.”

“You’re just as much in the wrong as I am. You lead him on for weeks.”

Yoongi just frowled a little in response.

“You really, really don’t get it! I wasn’t leading him on, Jiyong. I fell in love with him. I loved him!”

Jiyong shut up for a moment, before laughing. “You actually fell for the brat? Pathetic. You’re getting softer the older you get. Since when did it stop being a joke? When did it stop being something you were doing just to prove a point?”

Yoongi hesitated for a moment, mouth still open to reply but unable to find his words.

When had he realised that he was in love with Jeongguk? When had he noticed that it was more than just a game?

“The butterfly garden, when I took him there. I think that’s when I fully realised. But it was before that I started falling for him. He’s…he’s more than you give him credit for, hyung. He’s sweet and quiet, but he truly cared for me. And I cared for him. I was going to tell him eventually, more as a funny story for in the future than an admission of guilt. But you took that opportunity away from me.”

Jiyong just rolled his eyes, throwing himself on to Yoongi’s bed.

“You really are pathetic, you know that, right? You getting into method acting or something? You don’t actually love him. It’s only been a few weeks. That isn’t a long enough time to really fall in love. You got to stick your dick in something, and you assumed that meant you were in love. That’s not how it works.”

“No, but how it does work is the butterflies in my stomach every time I look at him. The way my stomach lurches at the thought of him being hurt or upset. How panicked I was when I literally just watched him pass out from not eating before I came here. How much it hurt to watch him brush me off and refuse to talk to me. How much my heart ached when he broke up with me for something you did.”

Jiyong just laughed again. “I honestly just can’t get over how pathetic this is.”

“And I can’t get over how pathetic you are, Jiyong. Honestly, you’re not worth it at this point. I don’t understand how I ever saw you as a friend.” Once Yoongi had started, he couldn’t find it in himself to stop. “You’re a bully, a waste of space who finds too much pleasure in everyone else’s pain. You lost me Jeongguk, and I don’t think I can forgive you for that any time soon.”

Jiyong said nothing in response.

“I want you to leave. I don’t want you to talk to me again unless you can figure out how to be a decent human with a basic respect for other people. And if I hear for a second that you have continued bullying Jeongguk, I’ll beat the shit out of you myself, and I won’t try to stop Junghyun doing the same thing.”

Jiyong stared at Yoongi for a second, before laughing.

“Wow, you’ve sunk low. Love made you weak.”

With that said, Jiyong left the dorm, leaving Yoongi stood in his room, still breathing heavily from the emotional strain the words had put on him.

“Hyung…” Namjoon’s voice came from the doorway, causing Yoongi to look up with tears filling his eyes as he did. “You really love Jeongguk, don’t you?”

When Yoongi nodded, Namjoon left the room.

Thankfully for Jeongguk, his trip to the nurse’s office didn’t last too long. After he’d woken up and been given some cola from the nurse to bring his blood sugar back up, and his two brothers had met him in there to make sure he was okay, Jeongguk was sent back to his dorm. With strict orders to start eating better, but sent back to the dorm regardless.

Junghyun was like a mother hen during the walk back, hovering over him as if he was about to keel over at any moment. Although, Byeol wasn’t much better.

“Guys, I’m fine, really. I’m okay. Not even dizzy any more.”

Byeol sighed at that, tapping Jeongguk on the back. “That’s not the point that you feel okay now, it’s the fact that you didn’t feel okay before and you didn’t tell anyone about it. You have to look after yourself better, Ggukie. I’ve never known you starve yourself like that before.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Jeongguk defended with a pout. “I wasn’t meaning to starve myself, I was just… I had no appetite. That’s all.”

“That’s not much better.” Junghyun countered. “Besides, this is the most of a conversation we’ve gotten out of you in a week. You have to let us help you.”

“I’m an adult, I can look after myself.”

“Obviously not since you nearly ended up in the hospital after fainting on Yoongi.”

At Junghyun’s mention of Yoongi, Jeongguk went quiet. He’d half hoped seeing Yoongi after class and passing out on him had been a low blood sugar induced hallucination. But, from what Junghyun had just said, that wasn’t the case at all. Yoongi had indeed been there, and had seen him pass out.

“Well… that’s not the point. I can look after myself without my brother and his best friend having to know my every passing thought.”

Junghyun simply huffed in response, but kept his arm around Jeongguk’s shoulders, both as a sign of affection, and a support in case Jeongguk got dizzy again.

As they walked through the dorm though, Jeongguk felt his phone vibrate with a text.

From: Namjoon-hyung
To: Jeongguk
Message: Can we talk? It’s important. I’ll meet you at your dorm if you don’t feel like moving.

Jeongguk hesitated for only a second before sending his reply.

From: Jeongguk
To: Namjoon-hyung
Message: Alright. If you want to meet me at the dorm you can.

His message didn’t get a reply, but Jeongguk made his way to his room anyway after convincing Byeol and Hyun that he was okay to be alone.

It was only 15 minutes later that knuckles rapped against his bedroom door.

“Jeongguk? It’s Namjoon, can I come in?”

When Jeongguk agreed, Namjoon opened the door, heading into the room and sitting down on the bed.

They sat in silence for a minute, neither quite prepared to start a conversation. After all, the two weren’t exactly the closest. It wasn’t that they didn’t get on, they just… hadn’t really hung out before, apart from the party. And even then, it had been less hanging out and more just both happening to be at the same place at the same time.

“Listen…” Namjoon started, hesitation clear in his voice. “I know you probably don’t want to talk about Yoongi. But I overheard something I think you should know.”

Jeongguk didn’t reply, giving Namjoon the opportunity to continue.

“Earlier, Yoongi came back and asked to talk to Jiyong. They started arguing. Neither of them knew for certain I was in the dorm, I think they thought they were alone… but… Jeongguk, Yoongi wasn’t pretending. The things he was saying… he really does love you. It started out as a dare, yeah, but Yoongi was saying he knew he was in love with you by the time you had your date at the butterfly gardens. He knew before then, but he realised while you were there.”

Jeongguk continued to stay silent.

“Yoongi told Jiyong that he didn’t want to be friends with him anymore. Honestly, Gguk… I’ve never seen Yoongi this upset over someone before. He’d dated people in the past, but when they’ve split he’s just brushed it off as if nothing ever happened. This time though… he’s so upset. He misses you. He cares about you. And he hates the fact you found out this way. Even if it started as a game, it wasn’t as time went on. He loves you, Jeongguk.”

“But…”

Namjoon cut him off. “I’m not telling you this for you to go running back to him and forgive him immediately. I’m not tell you this to try and get him an out for how he hurt you. I just… I just wanted you to know. I thought it was important.”

Jeongguk stayed quiet for a moment longer.

“Thank you, Namjoon-hyung.” He said quietly, voice barely louder than a whisper. He could barely hear his own voice with how whispered the tone was. “Thank you for telling me.”

Namjoon nodded for a second, before the two fell back into silence.

“You know…” Jeongguk began. “You know the butterfly garden that Yoongi-ssi took me to on that date?” Namjoon nodded. “Do you have the phone number for them?”

Namjoon frowned. “Why the number?”

“Please?”

Without any more questions, Namjoon googled the number and gave it to the younger.

Seeing that the youngest of their friend group wasn’t going to talk to him any more, Namjoon bid farewell, promising to be over later with a proper meal, and left.

Within minutes of being alone, Jeongguk was on the phone.

———

Yoongi didn’t know what to feel when he’d gotten the text from Jeongguk.

From: Jeongguk
To: Yoongi
Message: 12pm, tomorrow, butterfly garden.

It had held no more information that that, and when Yoongi had replied asking why, his message had gotten ignored. Of course, he couldn’t really blame the younger for ignoring him, but he was still worried about what the next day would entail.

Yoongi barely slept that night.

When the next day had arrived, Yoongi was a solid mass of nerves. He didn’t know how Jeongguk was going to make his way to the butterfly garden as he’d only gone before on the back of Yoongi’s bike, but he hadn’t asked for a lift, so he could only assume Jeongguk had found another way to get there. Yoongi went out, got on his bike with a heavy heart, and made his way out of the university towards the garden centre.

Once he’d gotten there, parked and gotten the leathers off himself, Yoongi looked around for any sign of his ex-boyfriend. He didn’t see much, until his eyes focused on a familiar car. It was Junghyun’s, and the older Jeon was sat inside on his phone, with his younger brother nowhere to be seen. At least the mystery of how Jeongguk had made it to the centre had been solved.

Taking a deep breath, Yoongi went inside, and flagged down an employee. When he said his name and who he was there to see, the employee let him into the garden with no further questions, informing him it had been paid for fully for the day.

Had Jeongguk paid for it? He must have done. The thought made his chest swell with guilt. He knew how expensive it was to hire out the entire room, so if Jeongguk had done that, it must be serious.

Taking another deep breath, Yoongi walked into the large, garden-like room and looked around. There, sat on the bench they’d been when they first kissed, sat Jeongguk.

His ex looked a little haggard, his normally shining and bouncing hair was limp and dull, skin paler than Yoongi had ever seen it, bags under his eyes and weight had definitely been lost over the week.

Yoongi hesitated for a second, nerves crushing his heart, before he walked forward and sat next to Jeongguk.

They both stayed silent, neither quite yet willing to break the silence between them.

“Hey, Gguk.” Yoongi eventually said, voice barely loud enough to be heard, just in case the younger chose to ignore him. He was prepared to be yelled at, to be cursed out and left to sit there alone.

Jeongguk didn’t flinch at his voice, simply continued staring at the butterfly crawling over his knee.

“Hey, Yoongi-hyung.”

Even the simplicity of being called ‘hyung’ rather than ‘ssi’ made Yoongi’s heart lift a little with hope.

They once again fell into silence, the quiet between them no longer comfortable like it had been before. Yoongi didn’t know what to say. Did he start with an apology? But Jeongguk had asked him here, he just didn’t know why.

“I’m sorry.” Yoongi bit the bullet, mumbling the words while looking at the younger. “I didn’t want you to find out that way.”

“How real was it, Yoongi-hyung? Tell me how real it was.”

Yoongi took a deep breath, trusting Jeongguk to keep his patience as he spoke.

“It wasn’t real at first.” Yoongi confessed. “When I was meeting you out of your classes and pulling you to the courtyard… I didn’t feel anything for you then. It was just a dare. But as soon as you started talking to me, once we started hanging out…I…I realised I did actually really like you. How and why the dare came about was true. I did think you were cute. I still don’t like how Jiyong outed you, but he did do it because I thought you were cute. But I wasn’t really interested in anything else at first.”

Yoongi stopped, but Jeongguk stayed silent, so he chose to continue.

“When I saw you have that panic attack after not stopping working, and you got so sick the next day… that’s when I just… I didn’t want to be away from you. I didn’t realise it then, but I think that is when I started falling for you. Seeing you so weak, and so out of it, but still so happy to see me… I think thats when I stopped acting because of the dare. When I came over with medicine and soup for you, that wasn’t part of the dare. I truly wanted to make sure you were okay, I wanted to look after you. Then when I brought you here… the way your face lit up, how purely just… happy you were. How lost in your own world you were, taking pictures to keep the memories. That’s when I realised it wasn’t fake anymore. That’s when it clicked into place that I was falling for you.”

Yoongi took another deep breath, the air shaking in his trembling chest.

“The beach as well… it wasn’t fake, Jeongguk. From the moment we had our first kiss, I knew I’d fallen hard for you. I didn’t want to tell Jiyong, because he wouldn’t get it. He thought I was still acting through the dare. I was going to tell you eventually, but… I wanted it to be a funny story for in the future, about how this had accidentally come about. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“But I did get hurt, hyung.” Jeongguk said with a low tone. “It really hurt. The person I thought I loved, and I thought loved me, thought I was just a game. I’d opened myself up to you. I allowed you in where no-one else had been allowed before, and then that trust was broken… you were my first everything. My first kiss, my first love, my first boyfriend, my first… my first time. I gave everything to you, only to find out the person bullying me had arranged it to give himself more ammunition against me.”

They fell back into silence, and Yoongi had to blink harshly to stop the tears welling in his eyes.

“I love you, Jeongguk. Truly.”

When Jeongguk didn’t reply, Yoongi once again felt the vice grip of anxiety in his chest.

“I promise you, Jeongguk. You weren’t a joke. You were never a joke. A dare, at first, maybe, but that really didn’t last long. The second I got to know you, my heart wanted you.”

“Namjoon-hyung told me you fought with Jiyong.”

Yoongi stopped for a second, before nodding. So he had Namjoon to thank for the fact Jeongguk was hearing him out. “Yeah. I wanted to tell him off for telling you like that. It wasn’t his place, and he knew it would hurt you. I’ve pretty much told him we’re not longer friends because of how he treats you.”

Jeongguk finally looked up. “You’re not friends with him anymore, because of me?”

When Yoongi nodded, Jeongguk turned a little pink.

“You didn’t have to shut your best friend out for me.”

“I did.” Yoongi argued. “He wasn’t much of a best friend if he couldn’t treat my boyfriend with any respect. I love you more than his friendship was worth.”

“…I love you too, Yoongi-hyung.”

Yoongi gave a small smile, looking up at the younger. “I’m glad you do.”

“I don’t know if I can get back to how we were right away.” Jeongguk confessed, looking back down to his feet.

“That’s okay, you know. I’m not mad. I’m just happy you’re talking to me at all. You were well within your right to do it, but when you were ignoring and avoiding me, I just… it hurt. I felt like a part of me was missing. And then when you passed out from not eating, it scared the shit out of me. I didn’t know what was wrong. Please, look after yourself better. I know you were upset, but you shut everyone out. Even your friends.”

Jeongguk just shook his head. “It was easier that way. With everyone being in the same friendship group… they all reminded me of you. And I didn’t want to be reminded of you. I didn’t want to love you anymore, I didn’t want to think about you anymore. They were a direct link to you.”

“Even your brother and Byeol-hyung?”

“Even them…I didn’t trust anyone anymore. I couldn’t trust them. It hurt too much.”

Yoongi closed his eyes, feeling pain in his chest again at the younger’s words.

He’d done that. He’d hurt Jeongguk like that. Even if he hadn’t meant to.

“So,” He started again, breaking the silence that had fallen upon them. “What’s with bringing me here?”

“I wanted to come back to where we were happy. I wanted to come back to where we got together. This is… it’s ours. This garden is everything that was good about us. And if we were separating entirely, or getting back together, just just talking it out… I wanted it to be in our place.”

Yoongi blushed a little, looking down at his own feet. The gap between them was too large, and Yoongi would give anything to move over on the bench and close that gap. But he couldn’t, not yet. Not unless Jeongguk did it first. Jeongguk needed his space, and he wasn’t going to force anything on the other.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait long before Jeongguk made that move, shuffling a little to the side to the gap between them was smaller. A breath passed between them, and then Jeongguk’s face was hidden on his shoulder, a little dampness spreading through his woollen sweater.

Yoongi moved slowly, so Jeongguk could stop him if he wanted, as he put his arm around the other, holding him as if he was holding the other together.

Jeongguk didn’t stop him.

“It’s okay, Jeongguk. You’re still hurt, that’s okay. Tell me what I can do to make it up to you.”

Jeongguk didn’t reply for a moment too long.

“Kiss me.”

The request shocked Yoongi, who pulled away half an inch so he could see the other.

Jeongguk’s eyes were turning red, his nose was running, his cheeks were damp with falling tears.

But it was the most beautiful he’d ever been.

Yoongi said nothing as he leaned forward, gently capturing Jeongguk’s lips in a soft kiss. It wasn’t passionate, or forceful. It was gentle, scared that it was going to break any second.

It took a second, but Jeongguk kissed back, leaning closer into the other.

After a few moments, the two both pulled away and went back to their position with Jeongguk leaning on Yoongi’s shoulder.

“So… what do we do now?” Yoongi questioned, quiet so as to not break the silence over them too harshly.

“I don’t know, hyung.” Jeongguk admitted, sniffling a little to try and stop the tears as he did.

“Would you like to… still be together?”

At Jeongguk’s shrug, Yoongi felt his heart break a little.

“I do…” Jeongguk clarified. “But I don’t know if I’m ready to throw myself back into it fully.”

Yoongi just nodded. “I get that… how about we take it slowly? We don’t have to go all in straight away… but I still love you, Jeongguk. More than I’ve loved anyone before. I don’t want to lose you like this. I want to look after you, make sure you’re okay, protect you, love you… I want you in my arms like this.”

Jeongguk blushed a little, hiding his face in Yoongi’s shoulder to hide how pink he’d gotten.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, we can be back together, but slowly.”

Yoongi smiled, before pulling away from Jeongguk.

“Well, then we better do this properly.”

Getting off the bench, Yoongi knelt down in front of Jeongguk so their eyes met, even with the younger’s face still directed towards the floor.

“Jeon Jeongguk,” Yoongi started, keeping his voice low. “Would you be my boyfriend again?”

Jeongguk blushed more, nodding in response and breaking into a laugh as a butterfly flew over, landing on Yoongi’s head.

“Don’t move, hyung.” He said quietly, placing a hand on top of Yoongi’s head and slowly pulling away once the beautiful insect had climbs onto his fingers.

“I think he’s happy for us too.”

Yoongi laughed a little, nodding. “So happy that he wanted to be part of the moment too.”

Jeongguk nodded, agreeing, and kept still as the butterfly travelled around his hand before flying away.

“Do you want to come back with me on the bike?”

Jeongguk thought for a second. “Hyun-hyung is waiting for me outside…” Yoongi nodded. He knew that of course, he’d seen the older Jeon out there as he’d made his way in. “But I could text him and tell him to go back. I’d…I’d keep my distance from Hyun-hyung for a while, Yoon-hyung. You’re not his favourite person right now.”

Yoongi nodded again. “I get that, I’m not my favourite person right now either.”

When Jeongguk laughed again, Yoongi couldn’t help but grin. Jeongguk’s laugh was a symphony for him right now, after so long of only seeing the raven cry and panic.

“If it helps, he likes Jiyong even less. Byeol had to take him out of the dorm for a few hours so he didn’t get arrested for aggravated assault.”

“I could see that. He was definitely angry when I saw him.”

“Hyung is a little protective. So is Byeol-hyung, but he can control his temper a bit better. Hyun has always had issues with that.”

“Oh?” Yoongi questioned, getting up and sitting next to Jeongguk again. This time, there was no gap between them as they sat with their thighs touching.

“One time, when he was in first grade, Junghyun got excluded for beating up another student who said he had a weird shaped head.”

Yoongi covered his mouth to try and prevent the explosive laughter coming from himself.

“I feel like that sums Junghyun up quite well.”

“He got suspended from middle school too because a kid in my year called me weird and he punched them in the face.”

“Okay, so don’t make your brother angry?”

“Probably a good plan.”

When the two fell back into a comfortable silence, Jeongguk pulled his phone out and sent his brother a text.

From: Jeongguk
To: Junghyun(g)
Message: You can go home, I’m okay. Going to be going back with Yoongi later. I think we’re going to stay here for a bit.

It didn’t take long for Jeongguk’s phone to light up with a reply.

From: Junghyun(g)
To: Jeongguk
Message: So are you two okay, or do I need to smash a blonde face in?

Jeongguk laughed a little at the message, showing Yoongi, before typing out his own reply.

From: Jeongguk
To: Junghyun(g)
Message: We’re okay now, Hyung<3

The next few weeks passed with ease. Jeongguk and Yoongi started slow at first. In public, it was as if nothing really changed. Yoongi no longer met Jeongguk out of class, because too many questions would be asked. They’d never really been public anyway, but people knew something had happened between them, and Jeongguk wasn’t prepared for the questions. Not yet, at least.

But if Jeongguk was in the library, studying late to try and catch up or get ahead, he knew it he asked, Yoongi would be there with him in a heartbeat.

Jeongguk did ask him a few times, when his anxiety was spiking particularly bad and Jeongguk struggled to focus on the words ahead of him. A quick text later and Yoongi was there with no questions, sitting next to him and bringing out his own text book.

Just Yoongi’s presence was enough to calm his racing heart and allow him to focus on the words.

Since Yoongi and Jiyong’s fight, the older had pretty much left Jeongguk alone. He was never in their room unless it was to sleep, and even then, Jiyong pretended the other wasn’t there. Which was alright for the both of them. Jeongguk didn’t really care if he was being ignored, it was better than being bullied like he had been getting previously.

Yoongi had gotten stressed over his own work a few times while sat in the library with Jeongguk, pulling at his hair in frustration as he didn’t understand what he was trying to read.

And as soon as Jeongguk saw that, his hand was on Yoongi’s thigh, rubbing gently without saying a word. Yoongi calmed quickly with the grounding, taking a 5 minute break before going back and trying again.

As much as Yoongi had claimed not to care about what grade he got in his Criminology degree as long as he passed, Jeongguk knew now that was a lie. Yoongi wanted to do well, he wanted to impress.

Before either of them knew it, weeks had passed, and the two were still good.

Jeongguk was starting to open himself back up to the others. Jimin and Taehyung were hanging out with him more often. They didn’t talk about what had happened, simply kept Jeongguk company as he got more comfortable with everyone again. Jin and Namjoon had made a habit of coming over to the dorm with Yoongi every weekend, always with some large, home cooked meal or some baked goods with them all to share. Since Namjoon had helped getting Yoongi and Jeongguk back together, the youngest had found himself getting closer to the other.

Namjoon wasn’t complaining either, he’d gained another younger brother.

The air was getting colder now, the nights coming in faster and lasting longer. Jeongguk only realised how late into October they were when Halloween decorations started littering the hallways and the library, even the classrooms had bunting in the shape of pumpkins hanging from the ceiling.

Jeongguk and Yoongi hadn’t gone on any other dates yet, not since their trip to the beach. Yoongi didn’t want to push Jeongguk too fast too soon.

But as they got to the last week in October, both of them say in Jeongguk’s bed as he worked on an assignment, Yoongi broke the silence, tapping Jeongguk on the shoulder to get the deaf boy’s attention.

“Will you come out with me tomorrow?”

Jeongguk’s eyes sparkled with curiosity as he looked at the older.

“For what?”

“Pumpkin picking.” Yoongi stated as it was the most obvious thing in the world. “We can’t have candles in the dorm, but we can get those battery powered ones. Let’s get some pumpkins, have a carving competition, and put them in our dorms.”

Jeongguk thought for a second, before nodding and turning back to his Word document.

“That sounds good, hyung.” Jeongguk agreed, smiling a little at his project while peering over at Yoongi over the lid. “I’ve never carved a pumpkin before.”

“You haven’t?” Yoongi’s tone was shocked as he frowned at the other. “How have you never carved a pumpkin?”

“It’s just never really come up.” Jeongguk admitted. “I’ve always realised too late when the only pumpkins left were old and rotting. I don’t know how to time it so they’re still good for Halloween, and I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“I’ll teach you, Jeonggukkie. You’ll enjoy it, I promise.”

The next day, Yoongi was waiting outside of Jeongguk’s dorm for the younger.

Bundled up in as many layers as he physically could get on, the blonde still shivered against the cold air.

Why was Jeongguk taking so long? It was annoying as hell for the older to stand and wait for him.

Thankfully, minutes later, the other exited the dorm building, and Yoongi could only laugh a little at how much the younger was wearing.

Just from where he was stood, he could see Jeongguk was at least wearing a t-shirt, a sweater, a hoodie over that and then his thick winter coat. He could also see the raven was wearing his PJ bottoms underneath his jeans from where it was bulging out weirdly. Paired with, of course, thick winter gloves, a hat, and a scarf.

Still, once Jeongguk was out in the late October air, he still shivered.

“Wearing enough layers there, Ggukie?” Yoongi laughed as he got closer, beginning to walk as the younger was next to him.

“Nope, not enough, still cold.” Jeongguk retorted, walking along side the older.

Yoongi just laughed at the comment.

“Well, you’re going to be colder. We’re going on the bike.”

Jeongguk just shook his head. “Nope, we’re not. I’m taking Junghyun’s car with its nice, heated interior and space for the pumpkins in the back.”

Yoongi frowned.

“We’re what? Jeongguk, I don’t have a car licence, only a bike one.”

“You might not, but I have a licence you know.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I’ve had a licence since I was old enough to get one. I just… don’t drive very often.”

Yoongi nodded a little, processing this news that Jeongguk had just told him. It surprised him a little, made Jeongguk a little more mature in his eyes.

“Why don’t you drive often?”

“Cars just… they make me anxious since the accident.”

Yoongi’s face turned serious. “The accident?”

“Did you think I was always deaf?”

Yoongi didn’t reply.

“Yeah I got… I got hit by a car a few years ago. Hurt my head pretty bad. Didn’t wake up for a few days, and when I did I couldn’t hear anymore. Blunt force trauma to the head caused slight brain damage, and damaged some of the cells in my ears. So…cars, bikes, anything with a motor on the roads really, causes me anxiety. There was no point in me getting a car when Junghyun could drive and he could take me where I needed to go. I’ve got a work around, though, we’ll be okay.”

“Oh? A work around?”

This time, Jeongguk didn’t reply as he headed into the car park, pushing the button on the keys and unlocking Junghyun’s car, getting in and immediately turning the heater on as Yoongi got into the passenger side next to him.

“Are you sure Junghyun is okay with this?”

“Nah, he just gave me the keys as a joke.” When Jeongguk rolled his eyes at the older, Yoongi gave a little laugh, leaning over and kissing Jeongguk’s cheek now they were mostly in private. When Jeongguk blushed brightly, Yoongi grinned.

“Tone back the sass a little, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk took his opportunity to grin back, before taking a small device out of his pocket and connecting it to the Aux port in the car. When Jeongguk started the engine, Yoongi cringed at hearing his voice filling the speakers.

“Gguk, no, you’ve gotta have better music to play than this.”

“I don’t.” Jeongguk smirked, reversing the car out of the spot. “Your music keeps me calm, so this is what we’re listening to.”

“I don’t think you realise how embarrassing it is to hear yourself and your own music being played.”

“Shouldn’t have given me access to the songs then, you know I listen to it.”

“Yeah, through headphones, where you’re the only person who can hear it.”

Jeongguk just shrugged in response as he pulled out of the University and out into the main street.

They drove in silence for a while, and Yoongi was a little shocked at how much of a good driver Jeongguk actually was.

Not that he’d expected him to be terrible, he’d just expected Jeongguk’s anxiety issues to be a lot bigger of a factor in his driving than they appeared to be,

The younger was focused, but not overly so to where he was ignoring the fact Yoongi was there.

But still, they sat in silence. Well, mostly.

When Jeongguk caught Yoongi mouthing the words to a song playing, he couldn’t help but grin.

“What are you smiling at?” Yoongi said accusingly, blushing as he did.

“You. You’re adorable.”

“Yah, you can’t call me adorable, I’m your hyung.”

“You were so against my playing your music in the car, but look at you enjoying it.”

Yoongi pouted, turning away from the other, but still smiling a little as soon as Jeongguk couldn’t see his face.

He could almost feel Jeongguk trusting him again more and more by the day.

“Hey, Gguk,” Yoongi asked as they were only minutes away from the pumpkin field. “Do you… do you have a favourite song of the ones on this ipod?”

Jeongguk just grinned. “Are you trying to rinse me for compliments?”

“That’s…No…I mean…”

Jeongguk just laughed at how flustered Yoongi got, focused for a second as he pulled into a different lane.

“Yeah, hyung. I have a favourite.”

“Which one?”

Jeongguk shook his head. “Secret.”

“You can’t keep that a secret for me.”

“I have two favourites, hyung.”

“Two?”

“But you can’t know what they are.”

Yoongi huffed, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.

“That’s just mean.”

“Why? Because I won’t give you the compliments you want?”

Yoongi just blushed as Jeongguk pulled into a parking space by the field and turned the engine off, taking off his seatbelt as he did.

“You’re taking far too much pleasure on how uncomfortable I am right now, Jeongguk.” Yoongi accused as he got out of the car, shivering harshly as the cold air assaulted his warm skin.

“I am, it’s great.” Jeongguk didn’t even have the decency to deny it.

As they started walking in a comfortable silence, Jeongguk’s hand was directed towards Yoongi, palm open to the elements.

Yoongi hesitated for a second, shock stopping his brain from working for a split second, before he reached over and took Jeongguk’s cold hand in his own.

Neither said anything on the matter as they held hands for the first time since their breakup.

Yoongi especially didn’t mention it was the first time it had happened, ever, that Jeongguk had been the one to offer the said hand holding.

They got into the small building and was given the tools needed before Jeongguk paid and they got sent on their way into the field.

“There’s not a whole lot left,” Yoongi commented as he looked over the field.

It definitely wasn’t filled with pumpkins, but you could clearly see large gaps where a lot had already been claimed, but it wasn’t barren either. He was sure they could get a few good ones while they were there.

“There’s enough, hyung.” Jeongguk responded, taking his hand away from Yoongi’s as he pulled his sleeves down to cover his fingertips in an attempt to trap some heat in his hands.

“Also, didn’t you pay for far too many?”

“I paid for 9.”

“Jeonggk, there’s two of us.”

“No, there isn’t.”

Yoongi frowned at that, watching as Jeongguk walked away towards the growing vegetables.

“What do you mean?”

“Me, you, Junghyun, Byeol, Taehyung, Jimin, Hoseok, Namjoon and Seokjin make nine.” Jeongguk commented, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I mean… wasn’t this just meant to be the two of us?” Yoongi replied. His tone wasn’t offended though, more confused. Jeongguk had never gone out of his way to include the rest of the friend group, always being far too awkward to offer they do anything together.

He supposed a lot had changed for Jeongguk over the past month.

“We can do ours alone if you want, but… I wanted to hang out with the others a little bit too. I don’t want to shut them out anymore.”

Yoongi just smiled.

“That’s good, Jeongguk. I’m sure they’ll all be happy with that.

Jeongguk just nodded, looking nervous as he unearthed a pumpkin that looked to be a decent size from the ground. Yoongi joined him a moment later, helping while studying the younger’s face.

“Jeongguk, what’s wrong?” Yoongi questioned, looking over to try and read the other’s expression.

“Nothing’s wrong, hyung.”

“You look nervous.”

“I have an anxiety disorder, I always look nervous.”

Yoongi laughed a little, putting the pumpkin in a basket as he stood again and began walking to a different one.

“Seriously though, Gguk, what do you want to say?”

Jeongguk took a deep breath as he stopped walking, looking up at Yoongi with so much terror in his face that the blonde wanted to drop his tools right there and then and hug the younger to make everything okay again.

But he didn’t. He waited for Jeongguk to talk.

“Do you… do you want to come to my place for Christmas? Me, Hyun and Byeol are all spending Christmas with my parents since we couldn’t go back for Chunseok and… and I want you to ocme. If that isn’t too much of an issue with your own family of course! It was dumb, of course you want to spend Christmas with your own family. I shouldn’t have said anything. Just forget it.”

Yoongi did drop the tools now, stepping forward and grabbing Jeongguk’s shaking hands.

“Hey, calm down.” He smiled. “I’d love to, if your family is okay with that of course. I don’t want to give them the scare of their life.”

Jeongguk just shook his head. “I’ve already asked them and they said it’s fine. They…they know… by the way. I came out to them a while ago, and they know who and what you are to me.”

Yoongi nodded, his smile never once leaving. “Thank you, Gguk.”

“For what?”

“Wanting to include me, even after everything.”

Jeongguk finally smiled, the look of anxiety on his face settling a little bit.

“What did that do to your level?”

“Oh I was at a solid 6 during that.”

“What about now?”

“I’m back down to at least a 3.”

Yoongi laughed a little, letting go of Jeongguk and picking his stuff back up, going to work on releasing another pumpkin.

“You know, that’s actually perfect. Because I’d only be spending Christmas at Uni by myself anyway.”

Jeongguk frowned a little at that.

“Why?”

“I’ll…I’ll talk about it later, okay? Not right now, let’s not ruin what a good day today is with my own family issues.”

Jeongguk nodded, agreeing, and didn’t push the subject any further.

They worked in silence for the rest of the time in the field, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. They worked in unison, comfortable with the space and quiet between them, before they had nine about equally sized pumpkins split between their two baskets.

At first, Jeongguk had the heavier one, with five in his own, but Yoongi took the extra as soon as he noticed Jeongguk struggling to lift it.

“So, is that everything?”

When Jeongguk nodded at the question, the two exited the field and dropped off their tools, heading back to Junghyun’s car and unloading the pumpkins into the back of it, before returning the baskets and getting into the car.

Again, Jeongguk immediately turned the heat on, warming his hands against the vents.

“I had fun today, Jeongguk.”

“Me too, hyung.”

Yoongi smiled, before leaning over and kissing Jeongguk’s cheek gently.

Within moments, Jeongguk had turned his head, locking his lips on Yoongi’s instead.

The older was taken aback by the move, but he didn’t complain as he kissed Jeongguk back without question.

He could definitely get used to the more confident, forward maknae that was beginning to show.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, hyung.”

Jeongguk then connected the ipod back up to the car and started it up, beginning to leave the car park to head back to the university.

As they rode, Yoongi noticed Jeongguk mouthing the words to one of his songs.

A smile found his way onto his lips at the sight.

“You really like these, don’t you?” Yoongi questioned, which caused Jeongguk to blush in response.

“I do. This is… this is one of my two favourites.”

Yoongi blinked in response.

“This one? Seesaw?”

When Jeongguk nodded, Yoongi questioned why.

“Because you sound happy.”

Yoongi couldn’t help the blood that rushed to his face from the comment.

“What about your other favourite?”

“First Love.”

Jeongguk turned towards the other with a smile, before quickly turning back to the road.

Yoongi just blushed harder. “This is difficult.”

“Hm?”

“Knowing I wrote these songs, and you’re listening to them and enjoying them so much… I put my soul into those songs, you know. It’s like you’re just… looking into my soul and enjoying what you see.”

“I am, otherwise I wouldn’t be dating you, would I? I look into your soul every time you’re soft, every time you worry about me, every time you gently touch my arm because you don’t know if I’m okay with you hugging me. I see your soul every day, Min Yoongi. This is just…a different way I see it.”

“When did you become a sap?”

“When I fell in love with.”

Yoongi sunk back into his chair, wishing the earth would just swallow him whole while his heart leapt in his chest.

“I hate this.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I do, how do you manage to turn me into goo?”

Jeongguk just shrugged with a small laugh.

The rest of the ride home was quiet, but Yoongi couldn’t take his eyes away from Jeongguk.

He thought he’d realised in the butterfly garden, during his first visit, that he was in love with Jeongguk.

But he was learning now that he was wrong. He knew he loved Jeongguk, but it was this moment in particular that cemented it.

Sat in Jeongguk’s brother’s car, the younger driving so carefully despite his anxiety to keep the two of them safe and warm, as they listened to Yoongi’s music. Yoongi could map out Jeongguk’s features in his sleep, the slight turn up on his nose, the sharp line of his jaw, the way his bottom lip stuck out a little bit more than normal when he was focused. The light behind his eyes… Yoongi would never get bored of his boyfriend’s face.

The way he’d been so nervous to ask Yoongi to meet his parents, the way he’d been so concerned at Yoongi spending Christmas alone at the University, the way Jeongguk’s eyes shone brightly when he talked about Yoongi’s music.

He was well and truly in love.

He, Min Yoongi, was in love with Jeon Jeongguk.

———

Once they’d gotten back to the university and unloaded the pumpkins into Jeongguk’s dorm, Yoongi had called Seokjin and asked him to bring the others over.

When the oldest had asked why and Yoongi had explained Jeongguk’s plan, Seokjin had a different idea.

“How about we go to my place?” Seokjin offered. “No-one is home right now, and we’d have a lot more space to do everything.”

Yoongi thought for a second. “Can you guys just come here and we’ll run it by Jeongguk? The last time he was at your house, he didn’t have the best experience, and if we’re going back I want it to be his decision.”

Jin had agreed, and Yoongi had put himself in the small Kitchenette of Jeongguk’s dorm, cleaning the dirt off the pumpkins while Jeongguk scrolled mindlessly through his phone.

Minutes later, Jimin and Taehyung had joined Jeongguk on the couch, throwing themselves all over his Freshman boyfriend and laughing as they did.

Yoongi still couldn’t get over how much he loved the other. He expected to feel a little bit of jealousy at how handsy Jimin and Taehyung were with Jeongguk.

But he didn’t. He only felt pride. He’d watched Jeongguk almost from the beginning of the year, watched how the timid boy had grown into himself, made friends and gotten himself comfortable around new people.

He didn’t feel jealousy as he watched Jeongguk roll around on the couch with Taehyung, trying to stop the older from tickling him half to death. He just felt happy that Jeongguk had found friends he trusted.

When the door knocked half an hour later and Hoseok let everyone in, having been with the others in the first place so probably only having knocked to inform everyone they’d arrived, Yoongi placed the pumpkins aside to dry and had joined everyone else on the couch.

“Jeongguk,” Jin started as he sat on the floor by the youngest. “We have a plan.”

“If you’re okay with it, of course.” Namjoon butted in, earning a glare from Seokjin which he pointedly ignored.

“We want to move this pumpkin carving party over to my place. There’s more room and less chance of… unwanted visitors butting in.”

Jin didn’t have to clarify for everyone to know said unwanted visitor was Jiyong.

“But it’s up to you. We can stay here if you want to, it’s just a bit of a squeeze of all nine of us to be in here. It’s only a 5 person Uni dorm after all.”

Jeongguk stayed silent for several minutes, as if figuring out if he’d really be okay with it, before he spoke up.

“Yeah, let’s go to your place, Jin-hyung.”

Jin broke into a large grin, leaning forward and hugging the maknae. “Perfect! We can carve pumpkins, order pizza and watch some horror movies!”

Jeongguk’s face switched from one of worry to one of delight at the comment. “I love horror movies!”

“I don’t!” Taehyung squeaked from under Jeongguk, pulling a laugh from the youngest as he got off him.

“Well, that’s karma for trying to tickle me.”

“I was bored!”

“That’s not my fault though, is it?”

The whole group managed to laugh at Jeongguk and Taehyung’s pretend argument, and not long later, they were all making their way to Jin’s house.

Jeongguk, Yoongi, Byeol and Junghyun all went in Junghyun’s car. It was awkward at first, as Junghyun hadn’t seemed to fully forgive Yoongi after the falling out, but nothing bad was said during the journey and Hyun soon opened up to the other again.

Jin, Namjoon, Hoseok, Taehyung and Jimin went in Jin’s car, and arrived several minutes before the other car did.

When Jeongguk got to Jin’s place, he was able to see it in a different light.

The first time he’d gone, they’d been alcohol and drunk people everywhere. This time was much calmer. The lights were low, it was quiet, cosy and homey inside.

Jeongguk felt himself relax at the fact he was going to have a better time this visit than the last one.

The pumpkins were laid out on news paper over the floor to protect Jin’s floors, and carving tools were picked out of a random drawer. Jeongguk didn’t quite understand why Seokjin had 4 different sets of tools, but he didn’t question it. The older seemed ready for everything, even if he didn’t quite have enough for all of them to carve at once.

Hoseok, Byeol, Jin and Namjoon did their’s first, with Junghyun trying to micro-manage every cut Hoseok made until the other threatened his boyfriend with a pumpkin-flesh-covered scoop. After that, Hyun left Hoseok to do as he wanted with a laugh. Jeongguk studied them as they carved, trying to figure out the techniques. He still didn’t quite get it, but he was sure he’d understand more when doing his own.

Once Byeol had finished his own, he handed the tools to Jeongguk.

Yoongi and Byeol guided him through the prep, telling him where to put certain things and how to follow out the vegetable before letting him lose with the carving.

Jeongguk decided to not push it too far, carving a basic face into the edge and fine turning it a little afterwards.

About an hour later, all 9 pumpkins were carved, 4 large pizzas had been ordered, courtesy of Jin, and they were dotted around the living area on various couches, watching as Namjoon rooted through Netflix for a horror movie to watch.

Of course, Jeongguk had found himself in Yoongi’s arms.

“I didn’t think you’d like horror movies.” Yoongi admitted quietly into Jeongguk’s ear.

“I love them, I didn’t think you’d like Rom-coms.”

“Touché.” Yoongi laughed, getting comfortable with Jeongguk against his chest.

The rest of the night passed with a calm ease. Jeongguk had nodded off with a piece of pizza in his hand, with his head against Yoongi’s chest.

Seokjin and Junghyun may have gotten a few pictures for future reference, before the oldest Jeon reached over and hooked the aids from Jeongguk’s ears so he could sleep more comfortably.

Taehyung may have cried onto Jimin from fear while watching the film.

And Yoongi had never felt more comfortable in his life.

The month of November flew by for Jeongguk. Despite the fact he’d only been at University for 3 months, he was already starting to prepare for his final exams.

Professors were already starting to warn them that the finals were going to creep up on them before they knew it. They were already starting to tell them what would be on that exam.

And it was doing nothing good for Jeongguk’s anxiety.

Taehyung had already had to talk the younger down from three anxiety-attack-turning-panic-attacks in the last week alone.

But for the next two weeks, that didn’t matter. The stress of school no longer mattered.

Because Jeongguk was currently loading his suitcase into the back of Junghyun’s car, ready to go home for the Christmas break.

Of course, in the suitcase were his text books, and his note books, just in case he got time to study during his visit home.

Yoongi probably wouldn’t let him, having seen first hand how anxious the looming exams were making the younger.

But maybe if he could study despite the break, it would calm some of that anxiety, since he’d feel better prepared.

Junghyun sighed as he helped lug Jeongguk’s suitcase into the back with his own, Yoongi’s and Byeol’s.

“I might have to get a bigger car if this is going to be a regular thing.”

Jeongguk blushed at the comment, knowing there was no malice behind it.

“Sorry, hyung.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s fine.” Junghyun laughed, ruffling his younger brother’s hair before getting into the drivers seat.

But unlike on the way to University just a few months before, Jeongguk had allowed Byeol to take shotgun. Of course, it was mainly because he wanted to sit in the back with Yoongi, but that was besides the point. He’d still let Byeol take shotgun.

Climbing into the back seat where his boyfriend was already sat, leaning against the window half asleep, Jeongguk allowed himself a small smile.

Yoongi had never been a morning person, and this was just another example of that. Hyun had wanted to get an early start, wanting to be home as soon as possible as their parents were delaying putting the decorations up in order to have the boys there when they did.

And that had always been both brother’s favourite part of Christmas, the decorating.

And this year, it was Jeongguk’s turn to put the star on the top of the tree.

Once Byeol had joined Junghyun in the front and everyone was strapped in, Junghyun began their journey home.

They were silent for a while. Junghyun had turned the music low due to Yoongi dozing off in the back seat next to Jeongguk, and the younger allowed himself this time to study his blonde boyfriend. He’d also decided to not wear his aids, at least for most of the journey back. He’d had them in so often recently that he deserved a break from being overwhelmed by noise.

Yoongi really was breathtaking, it was no surprise that he was quite popular.

His hair, despite bleached within an inch of its life, was still soft and shiny, falling so perfectly in his eyes even when he slept. His skin was smooth, blemish free even without the help of BB cream.

Jeongguk felt his heart flutter a little in his chest at the thought he’d managed to actually date and hold on to this angel.

Within the house, Jeongguk felt his own eyes beginning to droop. The soft vibrations from the car engine, the very faint sounds he could hear from the front seat of his brother’s quietly talking, the rumbling snores of Yoongi beside him were lulling him slowly into a deeper state of calm. Moving a little to get more comfortable, Jeongguk leaned to the side, resting his head against Yoongi’s shoulder.

It wasn’t the most comfortable position he’d ever put himself in, but it was easy enough to get to sleep at such an early hour in the morning.

Well, he said such an early hour, it was only 8am, but he had been awake since 5:30am, getting ready to leave.

Within minutes, Jeongguk found himself dozing off against Yoongi.

But unfortunately for the youngest, his dreams were not as sound as they could have been.

Almost as soon as his head had lulled into the pull of sleep, he was pulled into a nightmare.

It had started simply enough, with Jeongguk sat in the library at school. It was dark outside, so it was late as Jeongguk went through his notebook and text books. Except none of the words in front of him made any sense. It was almost if they were all written in a language other than Korean. Either way, it was a language he couldn’t understand, and he could feel the tug of anxiety settling in.

So, showing a rare form of self preservation, at least for Jeongguk, the younger had decided to take a break, closing his books and packing them away before heading out of the library. Maybe he was just overworked, which is why he was struggling to understand the words in front of him. He just needed a break, some rest, and then he could get straight back to understanding exactly why his mind was as broken as it was.

But as Jeongguk left the library, he felt someone following him. The person following him wasn’t safe wither, he could almost feel the murderous aura behind him. Anxiety clenched in his chest as Jeongguk walked faster, trying to escape whoever was following him.

He didn’t get far before a harsh fist hit the back of his head, sending him sprawling to the ground.

Before Jeongguk could even figure out the ceiling from the floor, the fist was hitting him repeatedly. A foot was digging itself into his back. He could hear laughing, taunting as he screamed.

He knew the voice, he knew the taunting.

Jiyong.

Why was Jiyong attacking him? Jeongguk didn’t have time to think about it as the assault continued. He could taste blood, feel his head cracking from the relentless attack on his head and back.

He screamed for help. No-one came. No-one pulled Jiyong off him. He hoped he could pass out soon, just so the pain would stop.

But he wasn’t passing out. He was too conscious throughout the attack as he was hit over and over, as he lost feeling in his legs and arms. Still, he continued to scream as his body shook from the pain.

And continued shaking.

And continued shaking.

Jeongguk jumped awake, brow coated in a cold sweat as he panted and looked around his surroundings.

He wasn’t in the library at University at all. Instead, he was still in the back of his brother’s car. With Yoongi’s dark gaze filled with concern in front of him, a hand still on his shoulder from where he’d been shaken awake. Byeol was turned a little in the front seat, talking to him, but Jeongguk couldn’t make out the words he was saying. Junghyun’s own dark gaze was studying him through the rear view mirror, trying to make sure his brother was okay as he continued to drive.

Jeongguk couldn’t settle the harsh breaths in his lungs though. He saw Yoongi turn and say something to Byeol, who nodded and turned to Junghyun. Moments later, the car had stopped, and Yoongi was climbing out.

Jeongguk cried out as he saw the blonde leave, reaching for him, but Yoongi quickly took hold of the younger’s hands, the hands that Jeongguk could thankfully still feel, and pulled him out of the car.

The fresh, cold December air filled his lungs immediately, and Jeongguk felt his pulse begin to slow.

Yoongi guided him to sit on the curb, and talked him through taking a few, steady breaths.

Thankfully, it didn’t take long in the cold air for Jeongguk to calm down enough to start being able to understand the way Yoongi’s lips were moving.

“There we go, deep breaths, you’re okay. It was just a dream, you’re okay.”

Jeongguk took a gulping breath, looking up at Yoongi with tears in his eyes.

“You back with us?” When Jeongguk nodded, Yoongi seemed to relax a little, pulling Jeongguk into a warm hug. He could feel the older’s chest vibrate as he spoke, but due to his position pressed into Yoongi’s chest, he didn’t know exactly what the other was saying.

Jeongguk just trembled against the other, and if anyone had asked, Jeongguk would have claimed it was from the cold around them rather than the fear gripping at his chest.

Glancing up, Jeongguk saw Byeol and Junghyun staring at their youngest from against the car. When he locked eyes with Byeol, the older gave a small smile. “Are you okay?”

Jeongguk gave a shaking nod, and he could almost feel the sigh of relief come from the others around him.

Yoongi shuffled back a little, not enough to where the hug was released, but enough for him to be able to see the older’s face. “Do you want to talk about it?” He questioned, brushing his hand up and down Jeongguk’s back.

The same spot where Jiyong had just been stomping on him relentlessly.

The same spot that no longer hurt with Yoongi’s touch.

“I…I-I don’t know…” Jeongguk confessed, sniffling and wiping at his face as he allowed the cold air to continue grounding him to reality.

He wasn’t stuck in University being attacked, he was on the side of a motorway with his brothers and boyfriend making sure he was okay.

And he was okay. He was.

“I…I was studying late and Uni, and when I left Jiyong attacked me. He…he was relentless. I called for help but no-one came. He just kept hitting me, kept stomping on me. He wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t feel my legs, I couldn’t feel my arms, I could taste blood. He just… he just kept going…”

Yoongi let out a small breath. “It’s okay, Gguk. None of us are going to let him hurt you. You have more people on your team than he has on his, okay? Besides, he wouldn’t dare hurt you.”

Jeongguk nodded a little but kept sitting where he was. He wasn’t quite ready to move yet.

“You were screaming in your sleep, yelling for someone to help you.” Byeol said as he walked closer to the youngest. Jeongguk swore he could see worried tears in the other’s eyes. “It was horrifying, Gguk. You wouldn’t wake up at first either.”

“I’m sorry I scared you…”

“I’m less upset you scared me, more upset that you were so scared and we couldn’t help.”

“I’m okay, I promise.”

“Well, if you’re okay, can we please get back in the car?” Junghyun asked from where he stood through chattering teeth. None of them were wearing clothes that were right for being stood in the December air. Jeongguk himself was only in a thin t-shirt and jeans, the others were in similar attire. They had hoodies and coats in the car, but he doubted any of them had the forethought to grab them before getting him outside.

Jeongguk just gave a little nod before he slowly got to his feet, only realising then just how cold he actually was as he got back into the heated car and got himself strapped back in.

Once the other three were back in, Junghyun confirmed again that Jeongguk was okay to start going again. When the other confirmed, they set back off on the motorway. When Jeongguk checked the time, he quickly found that he’d only been asleep for 15 minutes.

How a nightmare so bad had taken place in only the 15 minutes he’d been asleep, Jeongguk had no idea.

Yoongi was playing on his phone as they drove, once again on his notes as he focused on the lyrics in his head.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up, hyung. You were so soundly asleep.”

Yoongi just shrugged, looking at Jeongguk with a small smile. “I’ll never be mad at you waking me up if you need to. I mean, I was comfy and warm, and being woken to my boyfriend having a nightmare then waking up mid panic attack wasn’t the nicest wake up call I’ve ever had, but I’m sure I’ll deal.”

Jeongguk just gave a little nod again, feeling the guilt crawling up his throat. But that was soon soothed by Yoongi leaning over and resting an open palm on his chest, feeling Jeongguk’s still racing heartbeat and gently massaging the area above, trying to soothe him.

It worked, and Jeongguk soon felt his heart settle to a better resting rate.

When Yoongi went to pull his hand away however, Jeongguk whimpered, reaching forward and grabbing Yoongi’s hand.

The blonde looked over in shock for a second, before calming and relaxing his muscles, letting Jeongguk hold his hand as long as the other needed to.

The physical contact from his boyfriend calmed him, and Yoongi would do anything he could to keep Jeongguk calm.

The rest of the journey passed with relative ease, and although the tug of sleep still pulled at Jeongguk’s eyes, he fought against it. He didn’t trust his brain with sleep any longer.

When they got to the house, Jeongguk hadn’t realised quite how much he had missed his home.

The last of the residual anxiety calmed as he saw his parents walk out of the door to greet them, and Jeongguk almost burst into tears there and then seeing his Mom and Dad’s faces again.

With a short apology to his boyfriend, Jeongguk jumped out of the car and hurried to his parents, grabbing both of them in a hug as soon as he could.

Thankfully, both of them saw Jeongguk’s need to be near them and held him back, his mother’s arms so gentle around his back and his father being the tall, reassuring pillar he’d always been.

“I missed you.”

“We missed you too, Jeongguk.” His mother smiled, pulling away a little so Jeongguk could see her lips. “Now, where is this Yoongi we’ve heard so much about?”

Jeongguk sniffed, pulling away and turning towards the car, smiling when he saw Yoongi climbing out of the car.

“There, the blonde.”

“Are you sure he isn’t the blue haired one?” His dad laughed, obviously knowing full well the luminous blue head from the front was Byeol.

Jeongguk laughed back, shaking his head before motioning Yoongi over to them.

He’d never seen his boyfriend look as nervous as Yoongi did, walking over and giving his parents a low bow.

“Mr Jeon, Mrs Jeon, thank you so much for allowing me into your home for Christmas.” Yoongi greeted, to which his parents just laughed.

“Where did you get your manners from? Could you give some to our sons?”

Jeongguk at least had the decency to look offended at the words, whereas Junghyun just laughed, hitting Yoongi on the back as he went past.

“Not a chance, Mom, sorry.”

His mom tutted, rolling her eyes. “Come on, come inside and get your stuff in here. It’s too cold to stand outside.”

Jeongguk nodded in agreement, making his way into the house. He’d missed his family home so much that he almost burst into tears at the sight of the inside.

How had it only been a few months? He felt like he’s been away for years.

The next two hours were filled with unpacking his, Yoongi and Junghyun’s stuff before the boxes of Christmas decorations were brought out.

Jeongguk had never had so much fun hanging bunting and putting together a tree as he did with all of his favourite people.

Yoongi to his left, Junghyun to his right, Byeol next to Junghyun, and his parents watching them with a careful eye from their place on the couch.

In order to really know what was going on around him, now he was with more people, Jeongguk had put his hearing aids back in to decorate. Part of him missed the fuzzy silence he had when he didn’t have them in, but he was enjoying himself far too much with his family to where it didn’t bother him. He’d rather know what people were saying to him and each other.

Jeongguk soon found himself with tinsil in his hair, which Yoongi also ended up with thanks to Junghyun only a moment later. They’d found some blue ribbon that matched Byeol’s hair perfectly that had ended up around the other’s neck as if it was a scarf. The tree had been constructed and placed in the corner, still bare but ready to be decorated as soon as they had time.

But as with all good things, it had to come to an end soon. It didn’t take long before Byeol announced he had to go back to his own home.

Jeongguk pouted a little at the news. “Hyung, can’t you stay a bit longer?”

Byeol had laughed, ruffling Jeongguk’s hair on instinct and shook his head. “I have my own family you know, Gguk.”

Jeongguk’s dad just rolled his eyes. “Choi Hanbyeol, you have been part of this family since the day you were born, you can’t really use that excuse.”

“Sorry, Sir, I have blood family waiting for me at home. Also, please don’t call me Hanbyeol, I haven’t heard that in so long and I hate it just a little.”

“I take offence but that’s still better, Hanbyeol.”

Even Yoongi laughed at the comment from the oldest male, and only a few minutes later, Byeol was hugging everyone goodbye as he left to be dropped off by Junghyun. The other two had fallen into a comfortable silence with Jeongguk’s parents.

“Mom, we’re going to head upstairs for a little bit, is that okay?”

Jeongguk’s mom nodded with a smile. “Of course, but I expect the door to be left open at all times, and dinner will be ready in half an hour.”

Jeongguk turned beet red at the comment.

“Mom, we’re not going to do anything in the house!”

“I know you won’t, because the door will be open at all times.”

Jeongguk simply covered his face before grabbing Yoongi’s hand and whisking him upstairs.

“Hyung… this is my bedroom.” Jeongguk announced, before opening his bedroom door.

His room had always been precious to him, an extension of himself, and on the walls were pictures littered everywhere, that he had taken throughout his life.

“Gguk, this room is so perfectly you it hurts a little bit.” Yoongi laughed before sitting down on Jeongguk’s bed. Despite his happy tone, Jeonggk could see the older was warring with himself.

“Hyung, what’s on your mind?”

“Do you want to know why I don’t go home for Christmas?”

How bluntly Yoongi had said it had taken Jeongguk aback. But regardless, the other had nodded in agreement, sitting down on his bed next to Yoongi.

“Well… I came out to my parents two years ago, after my first year at University was over. I’d finally gotten more comfortable with myself, and the others had convinced me it would be fine. They were my parents after all, and they’d love me regardless, right? Well, that turned out to not be the case.”

Jeongguk’s heart broke, just a little.

“They didn’t take it well, at all. I told them on my first day of summer break, about an hour after I’d gotten home. By lunch time, all of my stuff was in the front garden and I was told I wasn’t welcome back until my ‘sin’ was cleaned from my life. They disowned me, said they’d take me back once I’d settled down with a girl and had a family. I thought they were just angry, that it would pass once they had time to think about it. So, that summer, I spent all of it with Namjoon. His parents weren’t…thrilled, by my life choices, but they were a lot more accepting than my own. They paid for my train ticket and everything. Most of my stuff was gone, I couldn’t bring it all with me. I just took a backpack with my most important things. At the end of the summer, I called to see if they were calmer. They refused to answer, then blocked my number. I went back before travelling back to Uni to try and talk to them, and they just… didn’t want to hear it. My dad opened the door, realised it was me, and then slammed it in my face.”

Yoongi’s voice was calm, but Jeongguk could hear the tremble behind the words.

“I haven’t seen them since. They haven’t contacted me, I haven’t tried to contact them again. I normally stay with Jiyong or Namjoon during breaks. Last summer, I spent it with Jin. I just… seeing your parents, you can see how much they love you, Gguk. They love wout with all of your heart, and I’m so happy you have that. And maybe… I have that now too.”

“You do, hyung.” Jeongguk replied, voice small. “It’s only been a few hours and my parents already adore you, I can tell.”

Yoongi nodded a little, wiping at his face. Jeongguk leaned over to his boyfriend, reaching over and brushing the hair that had fallen in to his eyes out of the way.

“They had no right to treat you like that, hyung. You’re their son, who you decide to sleep with, who your heart wants… that’s none of their concern as long as you’re happy, right? It doesn’t affect them.”

“I am happy, Gguk. I’m happy with you. It’s been two years, and I’m over it now.”

“You’re not over it, and that’s okay.”

Jeongguk reached over, wrapping his arms around the older. Once he had Yoongi leaned against his chest, the waterworks broke.

For 10 minutes, the only sound the two of them had was Yoongi’s sobs. But Jeongguk sat quietly, letting the older cry it out as he had to.

Once Yoongi had calmed, he had sat up again. Taking a few deep breaths, he wiped at his face to try and clear the tears that had fallen.

“Are you okay?”

“As okay as I can be, Jeonggukkie.”

Jeongguk gave a small smile to the older.

“I love you, you know that, right?”

Yoongi simply nodded.

“We do too.”

The two jumped at the unexpected voice, Jeongguk turning his head to look at his father, stood in the doorway. His teary mother looked so small stood next to him.

“You’re part of this family, Yoongi.” His mother said with a small smile. “For as long as you want to me, for as long as the two of you are together, or even just friends. We didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I just wanted you to know we’re sorry. There will always be a space at the dinner table for you, okay? Speaking of, dinner is ready.”

Yoongi stayed quiet for a moment longer, simply wiping at his face again as the tears built again.

“Thank you, Mrs Jeon.”

His mother smiled, before turning and leading her husband back downstairs.

“I think I struck gold with you, didn’t I, Jeongguk?”

The younger just nodded with a grin.

“My parents love you already. I’ve loved you for months… you’ll always have a family with us.”

The rest of the two weeks were spent in peaceful harmony, with good food, good company, and a special place at the dinner table reserved just for Yoongi.

The thought melted the blonde’s heart.

In just three, short months, Yoongi had found himself a family.

Once the Christmas break had passed and Jeongguk was back at school, his heart felt lighter. Introducing Yoongi to his parents had gone so well, that he couldn’t help but feel more confident about their relationship as a whole. Of course, he hadn’t told his parents about the…issue they’d had previously, and he probably never would. Yoongi was so happy that Jeongguk’s parents loved him, he didn’t want to accidentally change his parents opinion on his boyfriend.

On their first day of classes after the Christmas break, the air still cold with January air, Yoongi had decided to walk Jeongguk to class.

He’s picked Jeongguk up from his dorm with a small kiss on the nose, ignoring Hoseok’s sassy comment about how cute they were, and lead him out of the building.

While walking comfortable side by side towards Jeongguk’s lecture building, the younger took Yoongi by surprise. The movement was small, and unassuming, but when Jeongguk reached over and took hold of Yoongi’s hand, the older swore his heart had stopped for a second. They were surrounded by other students, and eyes were immediately on them when they were seen walking hand in hand.

Jeongguk had obviously noticed the stares they were getting, but still, he didn’t let go of Yoongi’s hand. He didn’t appear anxious or nervous over the act, in fact, he still seemed to be quite calm as they walked.

Yoongi was anything but calm, he wanted to cry from the simple action.

Jeongguk didn’t let go of his hand the entire walk to his classroom. Once they got there, Yoongi letting go of Jeongguk instead of the other way around, the raven turned to Yoongi with a smile, not quite ready to separate from him yet.

“I’ll come see you during your break, okay, Gguk?” Yoongi smiled, trying to reassure the younger that he wasn’t going anywhere far. “I’ll meet you out here like I always do.”

Jeongguk gave a small nod, leaning over and kissing Yoongi’s cheek before turning and heading into the classroom.

Yoongi would deny how pink he’d gotten if anyone asked.

Once he was sure Jeongguk had definitely gone into class and wasn’t about to come running back out, Yoongi left the building into the courtyard where everything had first started, sitting down on the bench.

Jeongguk might have thought of the butterfly gardens as their spot, but Yoongi felt the courtyard was too. Granted, he hadn’t really meant anything he’d been saying the first few times he’d brought Jeongguk here, but it was still a meaningful place for them.

Sitting down on the bench, Yoongi pulled out his phone, planning on working out some more lyrics while he waited for Jeongguk to finish his class, but instead he saw a message on his home screen.

From: Jiyong
To: Yoongi
Message: Have you finally gotten rid of the shrimp yet? He’s getting on my nerves taking you away from me.

Yoongi sighed as he saw it, running a hand through his hair. Would Jiyong ever get the message that Yoongi wasn’t planning on losing Jeongguk again any time soon? Yoongi doubted it. He didn’t know where all the hate for their friendship group’s maknae had come from, but because of it, he knew Jiyong had lost everyone.

No-one in their friend group spoke to him anymore. Once Yoongi had fully cut the older out, the others had quickly followed suit. People like Taehyung, Jimin and Hoseok had already done that before Yoongi had. After all, they saw first hand, daily, how exactly Jiyong had affected Jeongguk, and being the three closest to Jeongguk, apart from of course the younger’s brothers and himself, they’d gotten very protective very fast.

Namjoon and Seokjin had taken a little longer. They hadn’t quite cut Jiyong out completely when everything had started kicking off. They’d definitely gotten more distance, but they’d still spoken to him.

At least until Yoongi had denounced him as his friend, then Seokjin and Namjoon had stopped talking to him too.

He felt a little bad for the older, after all, he’d lost all of his friends. But after the relentless bullying of Jeongguk, Yoongi didn’t really feel too bad. He knew the older was probably getting pretty lonely, but it didn’t mean he was going to take any of his words back.

From: Yoongi
To: Jiyong
Message: Stop calling him that. Me and Jeongguk are still together, and I don’t plan on ever getting rid of him.

From: Jiyong
To: Yoongi
Message: Pathetic.

Yoongi rolled his eyes at the reply, opening up his notes instead to start doing on what he planned.

But despite his want to work on his lyrics, Yoongi just couldn’t get his brain to focus on it. All he could think about was the nightmare Jeongguk had a few weeks prior in the car on their way to his parents. Of Jiyong beating him.

It had broken his heart, seeing the younger in such a state. Jeongguk put on a brave face most of the time around Jiyong, but Yoongi knew that’s all it was, a brave face. He hadn’t been certain before, but once he saw Jeongguk’s reaction to the nightmare, he knew.

Jeongguk was absolutely terrified of Jiyong.

It wasn’t really surprising, the asshole was quite a bit older than Jeongguk was, and although his boyfriend hadn’t stopped growing yet, Jiyong was stupidly tall and built. Anyone who had issues with him would probably be terrified of him.

But it still made his heart ache. He didn’t want Jeongguk to be terrified of anyone, least of all someone he had to live with.

But in just a few months, it would be fine. They were already in to the new year, their final exams were soon enough, and Jiyong would be graduating. They were going to lose Byeol and Junghyun too, which would definitely suck for them all, most of all Jeongguk. But it was a small price to pay for Jeongguk to not have to live with him anymore.

There was also the fact Jeongguk had been openly affectionate with him.

In public.

In front of everyone.

Yoongi’s heart fluttered a little at the thought. He thought it would take years when Jeongguk had first said he wasn’t ready for the whole campus to know, and he was prepared to wait however long it had taken. Especially once they’d broken up for almost a week and were back to step 1 with Jeongguk trusting him.

But it hadn’t taken that long.

Just a few months and Jeongguk had made the move of holding his hand, of kissing his cheek. People had stared and mumbled, and yet Jeongguk still didn’t stop.

The blonde quickly found himself smiling.

He loved Jeongguk, so much.

So much.

———

When the class was over, Jeongguk couldn’t leave the room fast enough. He still cared about his classes, of course he did, but thanks to how much effort he was putting in to them he was more than prepared for his upcoming exams. What he cared about more was seeing Yoongi again.

Of course, he was spending pretty much every waking moment with the older, but that didn’t mean he was sick of Yoongi’s company.

As promised, as Jeongguk walked out of the classroom, Yoongi was stood in his usual spot, waiting for him.

Picking up speed just a little, Jeongguk hurried to the older, throwing his arms around Yoongi and kissing his cheek once again. “Hi there.”

Yoongi laughed a little, and Jeongguk couldn’t help but grin at the flush to Yoongi’s cheeks. “Hi yourself.” Making sure Jeongguk was steady on his feet before he released his arms from around Jeongguk’s waist, Yoongi smiled at the younger. “So, where to for your break?”

“I want to go to the cafe.” Jeongguk said without hesitation, grabbing hold of Yoongi’s hand and beginning to pull him along. “I need coffee.”

“You’re really going all out today, huh?”

“What do you mean?”

“This is a lot of PDA for you.”

Jeongguk just shrugged, looking over at Yoongi with a grin. “I love you, and I don’t care if the world knows it or not anymore. They can talk, they can stare, they can do what they want. But that doesn’t change the fact that I, Jeon Jeongguk, love you, Min Yoongi. Besides, I’m in a great mood, and I thought I should take advantage of that with you.”

Yoongi’s blush had only just faded by the time they’d gotten to the cafe and had sat down.

“Well, in celebration of how happy you are today, coffee is on me. The usual?”

Jeongguk grinned from his chair with a nod, and watched as Yoongi left to the counter.

He couldn’t explain what had changed, really. He’d just woken up that morning and decided… who cared? People would talk, of course they would, but who really cared who he dated when it didn’t affect them.

He’d show Yoongi off to the world for as long as Yoongi would let him.

Sitting back in his chair and looking up at the tan ceiling of the cafe, Jeongguk smiled. He’d never noticed how pretty the walls and the ceiling really were, the intricate little carvings swirling and connecting with each other that made the little uni cafe look so sophisticated.

Had the world always been this beautiful, but he’d been too lost inside himself to really appreciate it?

Jeongguk shook his head to rid of the far-too-deep thoughts from his mind as Yoongi returned with their drinks. An Iced Caramel Macchiato for Jeongguk, and a cold brew for himself. Despite it still being winter, Jeongguk just couldn’t give up his iced coffee. The same thing hot just didn’t taste the same.

“You looked so deep in thought there, Gguk.” Yoongi smiled as he sat down across the table from Jeongguk, handing the other his coffee as he did. “Anything important?”

Jeongguk shrugged, sipping his coffee and grinning. “Not really, it’s just… it’s weird, being in such a good mood. Obviously I don’t hate it, but its different. I’ve been at a solid 1 or 2 all day, and normally I don’t get that low without being medicated. I’m just… happy. You can appreciate the beauty of the world a lot more when you’re not seconds away from a breakdown at any given moment.”

Yoongi smiled, reaching over and pushing Jeongguk’s bangs away from his eyes. “I’ve never seen you this happy, and I love it. I hope it stays for you.”

“Me too, hyung.”

Jeongguk watched as Yoongi pulled away and went to his own coffee.

“Hey, hyung…”

“Hm?”

“You don’t have a class today, do you?”

“Not one I’m going to.”

Jeongguk laughed for a second, before continuing. “Shall we go somewhere?”

“Your next class is soon.”

“I know, but I’d rather spend that time with you. I’ll skip it, I’ll just go to the library tonight to see if there’s anything to catch up on. What do you think?”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Your dorm.”

Yoongi flushed for a second, before nodding. “Then sure. After coffee though.”

Jeongguk agreed, and the two drank their iced coffees slowly in a comfortable silence. Neither of the two were in any particular rush, especially now Jeongguk had decided not to go to class, and by the time they finished their ice was almost completely gone.

Jeongguk watched as Yoongi cleared away the empty cups from their coffees and stood with him, leaving the cafe after waving at the staff.

Yoongi reached over and took Jeongguk’s hand, which the younger immediately accepted, grinning wildly as he did.

“I love this.”

“Hm?”

“Not caring anymore.”

Yoongi laughed a little as he walked with Jeongguk, leading them back towards his dorm.

The raven hoped his brothers weren’t home, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to…do the whole thing that was the reason for Jeongguk skipping class. He was all for being more open and letting more people know about his relationship, but his brothers didn’t need to know what happened in the bedroom.

They got back to the dorm.

Jeongguk’s brothers were not home.

Yoongi’s bedroom door stayed closed.

———

The sun had set by the time Jeongguk left Yoongi’s dorm, and still, Jeongguk felt as though the sun could never leave. Even in the dark, Jeongguk could see the beauty in everything he went past.

He never wanted this good mood to end.

He stopped off at his own dorm, grabbing his text books and his laptop, greeting Taehyung and Jimin with a smile before heading out to the library.

It might have just been an excuse to spend the day with Yoongi, but he really did have to catch up with what he’d missed in the class he’d skipped. He may have been ahead, but he wanted to stay that way, and that did involve keeping up to date with what his classes were actually teaching.

He found a quiet corner, setting up his laptop, and began his catch up work.

Thankfully, he didn’t have too much to do.

Before an hour had passed, Jeongguk had done everything he needed to, and before he could get too distracted and lost in the deep, black hole that was Wikipedia link adventures, he packed up and started leaving

Walking through the hallway outside of the library, Jeongguk was struck with a strange sense of déjà vu. He didn’t know why he suddenly felt like he’d done this before, but he shrugged it off regardless. Déjà vu wasn’t anything to worry about after all, and he really wanted to just get back to his dorm and sleep. Despite the fact he’d loved it, being in such a good mood all day had exhausted him, and he was ready to sleep for a solid few hours.

That was until Jeongguk turned the corner and was immediately on the floor, dazed and confused.

Jeongguk didn’t realise what had happened at first, throbbing pain spanning through his face and the taste of blood in his mouth. He began to open his eyes, to try and see what exactly he’d walked into, but his focus was snapped away as something firm and hard his temple, stars exploding in his video as he almost faded from consciousness, rolling onto his side to try and ground himself a little more.

“You fucking shrimp. You stole everything from me! Everything, and you don’t even care that you did!”

Jeongguk snapped back to attention at the voice. Jiyong was standing over him. Jiyong had punched him in the face and kicked him in the head.

Immediately, Jeongguk began trying to scramble to his feet, trying his best to move his uncoordinated limbs and call for help, but he was stopped by a hard stomp on his back, knocking the wind out of him and pinning him back to the rough carpet.

Jiyong’s hard soled shoe connected with his back again as he screamed out, trying to get help from someone. Anyone.

Again.

Again.

Again.

———

“I’m not going to be here to save your ass forever you know.” Seokjin sighed as he walked with Namjoon, giving an unimpressed look to the younger. But there was really no malice in the look, and Seokjin knew that Namjoon would be able to pick up on that.

“Aw, don’t say that hyung.” Namjoon laughed, pushing Seokjin’s shoulder lightly. “You’ll always be here.”

“I’m the year above you, I’ll leave and you’ll have at least a year here without me.”

“Unless you flunk and have to redo the year.”

“I’m not redoing my senior year of University just so you’re not alone for your last year.”

“Well that’s rude.”

“Besides, I’m far too handsome and far too good of an artist to fail.”

“What does being handsome have to do with it?”

Seokjin shrugged, pulling a laugh from the younger as he did. The brunette couldn’t help but grin.

“I have no idea, I just wanted to say it to prove a point.”

“What point?”

“The point o-” Seokjin was cut off as a familiar yell echoed down the hallway, and neither man hesitated when picking up speed.

They knew that voice, they knew that cry, and Jeongguk was in trouble

It didn’t take the oldest of the friend group long to find out what was happening, as they turned a corner, and Jin saw red.

Jeongguk was lying, prone on his front with his face pressed into the carpet. Blood was trailing lazily down from his nose and lip and was collecting, staining the already red carpet even darker. His hearing aids had been removed and were lying, damaged and obviously broken, next to the youngest’s head.

And Jiyong was stood over him, stomping down hard on the raven’s lower back.

Seokjin barely had time to process what he was actually seeing before Namjoon had launched forward, yanking the senior away from the freshman and pinning him to the ground. Jiyong was taller than Namjoon was, stronger too, but the man was working on instinct, and had gotten Jiyong well and truly pinned in seconds, sitting on him to keep him where he was.

“The fuck are you doing?!”

“Teaching the disrespectful brat a lesson!”

“He’s a kid!”

Seokjin quickly kneeled down next to Jeongguk, hands shaking a little as he did and he attempted to ignore Namjoon and Jiyong shouting at each other. Jeongguk looked a mess, colour had drained from his face, and his dark eyes still hadn’t opened after Jiyong had been pulled off him.

“J-Jeongguk?” Seokjin tried, before remembering the aids were next to Jeongguk’s head. He wouldn’t be able to hear him even if he was conscious.

So instead, Seokjin reached forward, gently touching Jeongguk’s shoulder and starting to slowly move him onto his side, trying to carefully move him over so he could better assess the youngest.

When Jeongguk’s eyes snapped open and he screeched in pain, a sound that would probably never be forgotten by the pair of friends, Seokjin paled, quickly letting go. After a few shaking breaths, Jeongguk’s lips trembling with pain, the youngest’s eyes fluttered closed again and his body lost all tension.

“N-Namjoon, call an ambulance. And the police.”

Jiyong immediately started yelling about how it wasn’t necessary, that that wasn’t needed, but Namjoon ignored him as he did as the oldest told him to.

“H-Hello? I need the police, and an ambulance. There’s been an assault, and I think our friend is seriously hurt.”

Things moved far too fast after that.

Namjoon kept Jiyong pinned as long as he could, and within a blink of an eye, police cars and an ambulance were turning up at the University. Jin couldn’t do anything but watch with shaking hands as Jeongguk was put in a variety of braces and moved onto a stretcher. He could only watch when Jiyong was put in handcuffs and taken out of the building, into the back of the police car.

Then they were on their own. It was just Jin and Namjoon, in the corridor, with only the small stain of Jeongguk’s blood to keep them company.

“What…what the hell just happened?” Namjoon questioned, looking up at Seokjin. Jin knew the younger wasn’t really faring much better than he was, they were both in shock.

“I…I think Jiyong just snapped.”

“And Jeongguk?”

“I don’t know.”

The two fell into silence for a little bit, before Jin started moving and leaving the building with Namjoon. He couldn’t even remember why they’d been there in the first place, but he knew he had to talk to the others.

He had to tell Jeongguk’s brothers, and Yoongi. They had to know what had happened.

Seokjin wasn’t looking forward to that conversation.

———

Yoongi looked up from his spot on the couch as Namjoon and Seokjin walked in to their dorm. Immediately though, he knew something was wrong. They both looked shell shocked and pale, and there was a particular shake in Seokjin’s hands that Yoongi had never seen before.

“Hyung?”

“Yoongi,” Seokjin smiled before sitting down on the couch, and Yoongi could tell that the older was just pretending to be alright. He knew Jin too well to not be able to see straight through it. “I’m going to call the others here, okay? We need a friend group meeting.”

Yoongi frowned, but gave a nod, watching as Namjoon walked away and started calling people to tell them to come to the dorm. It was late, late enough to where quite a few people were probably asleep, but Namjoon came over only a few minutes later and informed them that everyone was coming, before going into Junghyun and Byeol’s room and grabbing them.

Half an hour later, the majority of them had arrived and were sat around the couches and on the floor of the dorm, and a frown marred Yoongi’s face.

Their youngest wasn’t there.

Jimin and Taehyung were sat on the floor, the younger of the two not looking particularly awake with his hair pointing every direction. Hoseok had sat himself on Junghyun’s lap on the armchair, Byeol next to him, perched on the arm, while Jin and Namjoon had sat on the couch with Yoongi himself.

Jeongguk was the only person missing from their collection of friends.

“Right, now we’re all here…” Seokjin started, but Junghyun quickly interrupted him.

“Jeongguk’s not here yet.”

“Jeongguk isn’t coming, Hyun-hyung.” Namjoon said, and his tone was sad despite the way he refused to look at them. “Just let Jin-hyung talk, okay?”

Yoongi’s frown deepened.

“Is Jeongguk okay?” Byeol asked, but the two who seemed to know what was going on didn’t answer. “Seokjin, is Jeongguk okay?”

When Seokjin hesitated, seemingly trying to find his words, Junghyun paled. “What’s happened? Where’s my brother?”

“Jiyong attacked him.” Namjoon voiced, although his voice was quiet and shaking.

“Attacked him? How badly? Is he okay? Where is he?” Hoseok finally spoke, securing his place on Junghyun’s lap more as the oldest tensed up.

“I-I don’t know, he was taken away in an ambulance.” Seokjin continued. “And Jiyong was taken away in a police car. I have no idea what happened, Namjoon and I were just walking through the library building and we heard him screaming. By the time we got there, Jeongguk was barely conscious, his hearing aids were broken, he was bleeding and Jiyong was kicking and stomping on him. Namjoon got him off and pinned him, and I tried to help Jeongguk, but I couldn’t get him to wake up. I moved him a little to try and see how hurt he was and he… he just started screaming before passing out again. I don’t know what happened. B-but he’s gone to the hospital.”

No-one said anything for a minute.

The silence that had fallen over the friend group was deafening.

Then Yoongi stood, grabbed his keys, and walked out of the dorm.

“Yoongi-hyung!” Namjoon called after him, but the older didn’t stop, and within seconds was gone.

———

When Byeol heard from Seokjin what had happened, why his baby brother wasn’t there with them, why the two looked so shell shocked… he felt dread creep up in his throat.

Jiyong had snapped, and he’d taken it out on their baby.

When he watched Yoongi get up and leave without a word, he knew where the blonde was going. He was going to see Jeongguk, of course he was. He’d never seen Yoongi as in love with anyone or anything as he was with Jeongguk.

Looking towards Junghyun, Byeol did his best to gauge his best friend’s mindset.

It wasn’t good.

Hoseok climbed off Junghyun, turning a little and cupping the older’s face. “It’s okay, Hyun. He’ll be okay. Let’s go up to the hospital, yeah? We’ll go check on him. He’s in the best place for him now. He’ll be okay. Let’s go, okay?”

But Junghyun didn’t say anything, and Byeol watched as the other stood and walked into his dorm room.

He heard it before he saw the damage.

Immediately, a crash came from their bedroom, and Byeol knew the older was trashing the room. Quickly standing, Byeol hurried into the room with Hoseok hot on his heels, ready to attempt to calm the older Jeon down.

“Hyun, Hyun it’s okay!” Byeol tried. “It’s okay, but we have to go and check on him, okay? You have to keep it together for us. You have to keep it together for Jeongguk.”

But the other didn’t listen as a textbook flew an inch past Byeol’s head and thumped into the wall behind him.

“He didn’t do anything wrong!!” Junghyun yelled, and the other two could see the tears in his eyes. “All he wanted to do was have a good time here! He just wanted to pass his course and make friends, why the fuck did Jiyong have it out for him?! What did Jeongguk do to deserve this?!” Seconds later, Junghyun’s camera shattered against the wall, and Byeol gave a little flinch, knowing quite how expensive it was. The two stayed out of the way for a moment, letting Junghyun get it out of his system as much as possible. But when it looked like he wasn’t going to relax any time soon, Hoseok decided he’d have to step in.

“Junghyun, please, you need to calm down!” Hoseok tried, stepping forward and cupping the older’s face again. “It’s going to be okay, it will be okay, but we have to go and see him, okay? Trashing your room isn’t going to help! Being there for him will! Please, please calm down.”

Byeol didn’t miss the tears that slipped from Junghyun’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything.

He watched as Junghyun leaned against Hoseok’s chest, hiding his face in the other’s shoulder, but slowly beginning to calm down.

“It’s okay, alright? Let’s go check on him, we need to go see how he’s doing.”

Junghyun gave a small nod with a sniffle, and made his way out of the room.

With a look around, thankful that it wasn’t too much that Junghyun had broken during his temper meltdown, Byeol followed the couple.

———

The trip to the hospital was… difficult. The others had decided to stay at the dorms and had asked for updates as they got them, after all, they didn’t all have to be there at once. So Byeol, Hoseok and Junghyun had gone in Junghyun’s car, with Byeol driving. It wasn’t that Junghyun wouldn’t be able to drive them, it was more that they didn’t trust his patience behind the wheel right now.

Yoongi had appeared to have gone alone when they saw him leave the dorm, as his bike was gone, but Byeol was certain that he’d gone straight to the hospital.

And he turned out to be right. Once they’d gotten to the hospital and made their way in, questioning at the desk about Junghyun’s younger brother, they’d been lead into a waiting room where they saw Yoongi already there, sat on a hard plastic chair with his head in his hands.

“Hey, Yoongi.” Byeol mumbled, sitting next to the younger and immediately putting his hand at the top of the blonde’s back, rubbing it gently. “How’re you doing?”

Yoongi sighed, lifting his head up and shaking it a little. “I’m fine, I’m not the one in the hospital.”

“No, but its your boyfriend who is. You’ve got to be struggling.”

“Well I’m not exactly having the time of my life, that I can confirm.”

Byeol gave a hollow chuckle and nodded. “Yeah, I get that. Have you heard anything?”

Yoongi just shook his head.

“I’m going to see if anyone will tell me something.” Junghyun announced, before getting to his feet and leaving the room to find a doctor. Byeol just watched him go, before turning and making eye contact with Hoseok.

“You doing alright?”

“I’m fine, Byeol-hyung. Worried, a little scared of Junghyun, but I’m fine.”

“You don’t have to be scared of him, he won’t hurt you. You know that.”

“I know, but its been a long time since he’s lost it like that. The worst I’ve seen is when he was yelling at Yoongi, and even then he had a little more control than what we just saw. I’m less scared for my own sake, and more for his. If he sees Jiyong… he’s going to get himself put in prison for life.”

“To be fair, I feel like that’s the case for a lot of us right now. But we need to see how Jeongguk is first and foremost before we start planning a murder.”

“I don’t care if Jeongguk is completely, 100% fine. I will still happily be put in prison for life if it means Jiyong doesn’t breathe anymore.” Yoongi said from where he sat, his voice low. “He took this too far.”

“Yoongi he was your best friend for years.”

“And he beat the shit out of my boyfriend, I want nothing more to do with him.”

Byeol just nodded lightly, and the trio fell back into silence before Junghyun joined them again.

“They won’t tell me anything.” He grumbled, sitting down and bouncing his leg absentmindedly. “They won’t even tell me if he’s alive.”

“He’s alive. He’s got to be. No news is good news, Hyun.” Byeol sighed. “If he was dead, they’d tell you that.”

“I don’t want to think about him being dead,” Hoseok said, burying his head in his hands. “Can we not even consider that possibility please?”

“Sorry.”

They all fell into silence again, Junghyun’s foot repeatedly hitting the floor as his leg bounced the only sound in the room for nearly an hour before someone finally came in the room.

“Jeon Jeongguk?”

Instantly the four were on their feet, walking over to doctor.

“That’s us. Is he okay? What’s happening?”

The doctor said nothing, simply turning and leading them out of the waiting room and into an office before sitting down, waiting for the four to sit down before he continued.

“Jeon Jeongguk is going to be okay in time,” The doctor confirmed. “I will have to go into his injuries and the issues he’s going to have from them, however. Are you all family?”

“I’m his brother.” Junghyun confirmed. “But everyone here has a right to know, he’s important to all of us. I’ll tell them what you tell me regardless, so you may as well let them stay.”

“Are you all okay with staying in here?”

When the four nodded, the doctor continued talking. He more referenced Junghyun, speaking more to him than the others, but they didn’t find it offencive. They knew he had to talk to Junghyun, being Jeongguk’s brother, more than the others.

“Jeon Jeongguk has suffered from a mild concussion. It’s nothing major and we don’t see any long term affects from it, but he will feel quite nauseous and dazed for a while until it heals. The main concern we have is the damage to his back. He has two broken ribs towards the bottom of his rib cage, and quite substantial damage to his spinal cord from blunt force trauma. There is a fracture in one of his vertebrae, and it appears as though it has paralysed his left leg. Now, this may seem severe, and it isn’t the best outcome we could have hoped, but the good news is we do suspect it to be temporary. It should heal within time, and it could have been a lot worse as any further damage could have caused a full break and a lot more paralysis than he has. He is currently conscious and coping alright, and we will allow you all to visit him for a while, but he needs rest while he heals and he will be beginning physical therapy in six weeks once the fracture has healed.”

The four stayed silent for a while, trying to process the information they’d just been given.

Their youngest had a fractured back.

He had a paralysed leg.

Byeol swallowed back tears, looking over to the others to see they were very much in the same boat.

“I want to see him.” Junghyun stated as he stood, and Byeol had never heard his voice tremble the way it just had.

The doctor nodded, leading them out of the office and towards a private room.

———

Yoongi’s heart was in his throat as he walked down the hospital hallway.

Was this how Jeongguk felt all the time?

Yoongi didn’t think he could stomach this anxiety any longer.

He couldn’t process what they’d been told in the office. He didn’t know how to process it.

But he didn’t have time to linger on it as a door to a private room was opened and the group of four were ushered in.

Jeongguk… had looked better.

Yoongi’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach as he saw his boyfriend.

He was paler than usual, dark bruises swelling his eye and nose. A brace had been put around his middle, and the youngest was sat up, awake, but he didn’t look the most conscious. His hair was ruffled, falling limply over his forehead, and it took everything Yoongi had to not go running to Jeongguk’s side.

Instead, he walked over slowly, watching as Junghyun and Byeol got to Jeongguk first and began signing to him.

He understood a few of the signs passing between Jeongguk and his two brothers, but not enough of them to be able to comfortably put the sentences together. After a few minutes had passed, Junghyun sighed and stood straighter, turning to Yoongi and Hoseok.

“He’s okay, sore, but okay. He said his hearing aid replacements have already been ordered from the hospital, but his brain is too fuzzy to be able to lip read right now. He…He knows about his back and his leg too, so we don’t have to worry about upsetting him about it.”

Yoongi wanted to cry, if Jeongguk couldn’t lip read right now, he wouldn’t be able to properly communicate with the younger. Of course he could probably tell Junghyun or Byeol what he wanted to say and the other would translate to Jeongguk for him, but that wasn’t perfect for them at all.

“Yoongi?” The said blonde looked up at Byeol spoke to him, an understanding but sad smile on his face. “Are you alright?”

“I wish I’d learned more sign language a hell of a lot earlier. I can’t talk to him if he can’t hear me and he can’t lip read.”

“I can translate for you.”

“You shouldn’t have to. But…” Yoongi hesitated, looking down to his feet as he processed what exactly he wanted to say.

He’d been working on it for weeks, trying to perfect his gift as much as he could. It might not be perfect, it might not be accurate, but it was still as good of a time as any, especially when Jeongguk looked so down in the dumps.

“Can you… Can you tell him I want to show him something?” Yoongi questioned, looking up again. “I’ve been working on it for a while, but I’d… I’d like to be alone with him for it. Is that okay? Do you mind?”

Byeol smiled, looking over at Junghyun for a second before shaking his head. “I don’t mind, we’ll go get some coffee or something while you two are alone. In fact…” Byeol took out his phone, opening the notes page and handing it to Jeongguk, before signing to the younger. Yoongi guessed he was telling him what was happening, because moments later, Jeongguk and Yoongi were alone in the room.

“Hyung,” Jeongguk’s voice was quiet, his tone kind of off, and it was a little jarring to hear Jeongguk not quite as confident with talking as he usually was. He knew the younger often liked to not have his aids in, to turn himself off from noise for a little bit, but he supposed it was different when he had his choice of that taken away from him. “Here, you can use Byeol-hyung’s phone to talk to me, okay? You don’t gotta be sad, I’m not offended. My brain just…just can’t keep up right now. Byeol said you left your phone at the dorm.”

Yoongi blinked.

Oh, he had left his phone at the dorm.

He hadn’t even noticed, he’d been too preoccupied with worrying about Jeongguk to worry too much about his phone, but it made sense that Byeol had left his own now.

So, sitting on the edge of Jeongguk’s bed, Yoongi took the phone and began to type.

‘I’ve been working on something for you for a little while. I don’t know how good it is, so please don’t laugh, okay? I just wanted to… to do something for you. Is that okay?’

Jeongguk took the phone and read it, before frowning and giving the older a nod, obviously confused about what was happening.

Yoongi took a deep breath, before raising his hands and beginning to sign, moving through the motions of his lyrics for First Love. One of the two songs Jeongguk said were his favourite.

His hands were shaking a little with nerves, and he knew some of the signs were not quite right, but Jeongguk couldn’t seem to pull his eyes away from Yoongi’s hands. Even when the youngest’s eyes filled with tears, he still didn’t blink, just staring at Yoongi made his way through the song.

When Yoongi lowered his hands back down, Jeongguk finally blinked.

And hid his face in his hands, starting to sob.

Yoongi’s heart hit the floor, the blonde quickly leaning over and grabbing hold of Jeongguk in a hug, rocking him gently, careful to not hurt his face, back, ribs…anything that was injured.

He mumbled reassurances lightly, hoping Jeongguk could at least feel the vibrations of his voice and be soothed.

5 minutes passed before Jeongguk pulled away, wiping at his face and looking positively exhausted.

“Did you learn that all for me?”

Yoongi nodded with a smile, trying to hold back his own tears as he took the phone again.

‘Junghyun and Byeol have been helping me with it, and helping me learn more sign language in general. It’s taking a while, and I can only pick up on a few signs consistently, but I’m trying my best. I hope it was okay.’

“It was perfect. Yoongi… I love you so much.”

Yoongi just smiled, putting the phone down and slowly lifting his hands up again.

‘I love you too.’

Six weeks passed both quickly, and far too slowly for Jeongguk.

He’d been bed bound in the hospital for the entire time. His friends visited often, Yoongi was there every day, but even so, the isolation was beginning to affect him.

He was just… tired.

His replacement hearing aids had come pretty soon, so he was at least able to hear again and less trapped in his own head. But he was trapped in his bed instead.

Six weeks to the day, Jeongguk started his physical therapy.

The first day had gone horribly.

His left leg wouldn’t take any of his weight at all. Jeongguk had spent more time lying on the floor, crying with frustration, than on his feet and supporting his weight with the balance bars.

The second day of his physical therapy, Junghyun had joined him, helping support him as much as possible.

The third day, Yoongi joined him.

The fourth, Hoseok.

The fifth, Byeol.

The sixth, Seokjin.

The seventh, Namjoon.

The eighth, his physical therapist decided that Jeongguk would be better walking with crutches for now, as if his leg were broken. Yoongi watched him cry until he fell asleep.

The ninth, Jimin joined him.

The tenth, Taehyung watched him try to walk.

He watched him have a breakdown on the soft mat that had broken his fall.

The eleventh day, Jeongguk got discharged from the hospital, with a pair of crutches and an order to take it easy and attend physical therapy every week to try and get strength back in his leg.

Jeongguk knew he had to start getting feeling in his leg before he could start trying to strengthen it.

Yoongi and Junghyun had met him out of the hospital when he got discharged, walking slowly with him as he slowly made his way to the car with the crutches help.

He hated it.

He felt useless.

He felt worthless.

His heart felt heavy in his chest. He had no energy to do anything. All he ever wanted to do was sleep. He’d missed so many lectures and so much work that there was no way he’d be able to pass now anyway. He couldn’t walk. He was going to fail Uni. There was no point. Why should he bother?

He was quiet during the drive back to the dorm.

Junghyun carried him up the stairs to their dorm floor once they were there.

Jeongguk went to his room and closed the door.

No-one bothered him the rest of the day.

Yoongi visited every day, spent time with Jeongguk in his room, brought study materials and homework and tried to help him go through it. He smiled, laughed, showed his progress with his sign language and showed Jeongguk his new music that he was working on.

But still, Jeongguk couldn’t feel anything over than the overwhelming numbness, spreading from his leg, into his chest, and settling into his heart.

He wanted to smile, he wanted to laugh, he wanted to help Yoongi with his sign, he wanted to enjoy the music and give Yoongi positive reviews of how he felt.

But he couldn’t.

He just wanted to sleep.

———

Yoongi felt horrible.

He knew Jeongguk was struggling. It wasn’t a surprise that such a traumatic experience and losing one of his legs, no matter how temporary, had pushed Jeongguk’s brain into a deep depression. And Yoongi was trying his best to help.

He knew it wouldn’t be instant, he knew he couldn’t ‘fix’ or ‘cure’ Jeongguk of the depression he’d fall into. But he wanted to help, he wanted to be there for his boyfriend.

So day after day, he visited. He laughed and smiled and did his best to lift Jeongguk up. Even when the younger barely reacted, even when the younger just watching Yoongi with a blank face before falling asleep, Yoongi stayed.

His heart ached.

A new friendship group meeting was arranged, once again, without Jeongguk.

The youngest was asleep in his room as the others sat in the dorm’s living room.

“We need to do something,” Yoongi started, looking at the floor as he spoke. “He’s barely functioning.”

“There’s nothing we can do, Yoon.” Junghyun sighed, running a hand through his hair. “He needs to process how he’s feeling and work through it. We can’t rush that.”

“I don’t want to rush it, I just want to make sure he isn’t going to do anything stupid.”

“We could…we could try a family night?” Taehyung said with a small smile. “I know Yoon-hyung is doing everything he can to try and lift Jeongguk up, but maybe if we all try we can at least crack a smile out of him? We can watch movies and eat food and play party games! Have a little celebration!”

“I don’t know if he’d go for that…” Byeol said. “He’s kinda a lone wolf kinda guy right now.”

“But at least then he’d know we’re all here for him! It’s worth a shot!”

Yoongi nodded. “It’s worth a shot. Let’s do it.”

———

When Jimin had told Jeongguk he needed to go to the living room, Jeongguk almost burst into tears. He didn’t want to go into the living room with everyone, he wanted to stay in bed and be alone.

Jimin had smiled at Jeongguk, handing the youngest his aids wordlessly. Jeongguk had stared at them for a few moments too long before accepting them, putting him in his ears.

“You’ll enjoy today, I promise.”

Jeongguk said nothing, but slowly stood with Jimin’s help, getting his crutches and making his way into the main living room, quickly noticing that everyone was in there, staring at him.

For the first time in a while, Jeongguk felt something other than nothing, a stab of anxiety in his chest as everyone looked up at him at the same time.

Immediately, Jeongguk began to turn to head back into his room, only to be stopped by Jimin’s hands on his shoulders. “Nuh uh, stay here. It’s okay, alright? It’s okay. You’ll enjoy it.”

Jeongguk doubted that, but let himself be lead to the couch anyway, sitting down next to Yoongi.

“Hyung, what’s happening?”

“We’re going to have fun.”

Seokjin smiled, clapping his hands together once he saw Yoongi talking to Jeongguk. “Right! Now we’re all here, it’s time for the festivities to begin! A lot of us have finals coming up very soon, right? So before we all fall into the insane stress that is trying to pass, we’re going to have a fun day! No stress, no anxiety, no studying, nothing like that! We’re going to be a group of friends, hanging out and having the time of their lives without the help of alcohol!”

“No alcohol?” Hoseok said with a pout, but they could all see that he was joking.

“No alcohol!” Seokjin confirmed, and despite the happy tone and none of them mentioning it, Jeongguk knew that was because of him. With the painkillers he was on, he wasn’t able to drink. It didn’t make him feel any better knowing the others weren’t drinking because of it too. “Food is already on its way! We will have a selection of fried chicken, pizza and noodles to choose from, far too much food for even the 9 of us to get through, but that’s fine! That means there’s more than enough for all of us! I’ve brought board games from my place, Taehyung has his switch with Uno, Trivial Pursuit and Jackbox Party Pack. We’ll be playing fun music all day, and all of us will be staying here tonight! I propose a puppy pile slumber party in the living area, but we can all go off to one of the three bedrooms here later if we really want to! Is everyone ready?!”

Jimin and Taehyung cheered in response with a grin, Yoongi laughing with Hoseok, Junghyun and Byeol as they did, and Namjoon grinned towards Jeongguk. The youngest didn’t have much of an outward response, but Joon didn’t miss the small quirk of Jeongguk’s lip as he almost smiled.

The music started immediately, a playlist of girl group songs that Taehyung seemed to know every word to every song for. Jeongguk assumed it was probably Taehyung’s playlist in the first place. He’d grabbed Jimin quickly, and the two began dancing and singing along as if they didn’t have a care in the world.

Food arrived 15 minutes later, Seokjin and Namjoon accepting the bags before laying out all of the food between the kitchen counters, the coffee table, and even some having to be left on the floor due to quite how much they’d ordered. Seokjin hadn’t been lying when he said he’d ordered far too much.

Jeongguk counted 6 large pizzas, 5 buckets of fried chicken, 9 boxes of noodles and several portions of snacky hot food, such as fries and onion rings. Had Jin really spent so much money on food for them all? There was no way they’d be able to get through all of it.

“Jeongguk,” Yoongi smiled as he looked at the younger. “Grab something to eat, okay? You haven’t been eating enough recently, now’s the perfect time to get some energy into you.”

Jeongguk gave a small smile, and shook his head. “I’m not hungry, hyung.”

“And I’m not accepting that.” Yoongi said, although his tone wasn’t mean as he stood up and grabbed a box of noodles and some chicken, handing it to the younger. “Eat, you’ll feel better if you do.”

Jeongguk sighed a little, but didn’t argue as he took the food and began to slowly eat, watching Seokjin and Namjoon playfully arguing a little ahead of him. Junghyun and Hoseok were making out in the corner, which wasn’t really surprising if Jeongguk was honest. He didn’t see them being overly affectionate very often, but he knew the two were. They just tried not to after Jeongguk’s first reaction to their relationship. Jimin and Taehyung were still dancing to the music, and Yoongi had placed his hand on Jeongguk’s left thigh, trying to be a grounding reassurance despite the fact the younger couldn’t feel that leg.

Jeongguk appreciated it all the same, and he couldn’t deny some of the numbness was dissipating from his chest.

By the time Jeongguk had finished his noodles and chicken, Taehyung had set his switch up and now they were going through a game of Uno. Of course, Taehyung had set the game score far too high, and due to the fact there was a limit of four players, they were having to take it in turns. The other had also put… all of the house rules on apart from bluffing. So the game went on for a long time, Jeongguk, Yoongi, Jimin and Taehyung playing the first game that went on for nearly an hour and a half before one of them had gotten the 300 score required to actually win the game. Jeongguk had won, but the maknae wasn’t entirely convinced they hadn’t just let him win. They definitely could have messed him over more, but seemed to have chosen to annoy each other more than Jeongguk instead. But he did appreciate it, sitting back with Yoongi and watching as Seokjin, Namjoon, Junghyun and Byeol took their turn, with Hoseok having every other turn from Junghyun so he could be included as well.

That game lasted 2 and a half hours, due to the fact they were all being far too stubborn to let the others win, even when they knew it would end the game so they could do something else. Byeol ended up winning the game overall.

Once Uno was finally over, Taehyung went to go start another, far too long game, but was stopped by Jimin who suggested they turned to another game. Taehyung had argued it for a few minutes, before eventually agreeing and getting Jackbox Party Pack up.

By the time they were eventually done with the games for the night, not even having gotten to Trivial Pursuit before energy levels began to drop. A few of the pizzas were gone now, and the remaining ones had at least a slice or two gone from them, noodles were also nearly gone, and only a single box of chicken was left.

But Seokjin was taking the night as a success, even if Jeongguk still wasn’t… ‘normal Jeongguk’, Seokjin had at least watched him laugh and smile while they played the games. It had taken a little while to break the shell that Jeongguk had pushed himself in to, he hadn’t reacted much during Uno, but when Jackbox had started, Jeongguk had started to laugh and relax a little into their night.

The sun had set now, and the excitement had settled as the group curled up around the couch and the TV had been turned on. Byeol chose the films, and they sat in a comfortable silence as they watched whatever Byeol chose. No-one argued with the choices, simply enjoying each others company.

Jeongguk leaned on Yoongi, resting his head on the older’s chest as he watched the TV with lidded eyes. Yoongi’s hand found itself weaved in Jeongguk’s hair, stroking gently as the blonde did his best to comfort the younger. If Namjoon had taken a few pictures of the couple cuddled up, he’d never admit it. He especially wouldn’t admit if he’d sent it to the other members of the friend group.

By the time the second movie ended and Byeol was choosing a third, Jeongguk was no longer awake, snoring gently against the cloth of Yoongi’s shirt.

———

When Junghyun awoke the next morning, he couldn’t help the swell of joy in his chest as he looked over his friend group. Jeongguk was sound asleep on Yoongi’s chest, Hoseok and Byeol slouched next to them in what seemed like an incredibly uncomfortable position, but still out cold regardless. Taehyung was asleep with his back against the seat of the arm chair and his legs in the air over the back, his head danging far too close to the floor to be safe. That poor boy was going to have a hella sore neck when he did wake up. Seokjin was curled in a ball with Namjoon lying on top of him, and Jimin had already gotten up and was in their small kitchenette, clearing away the pizza boxes and cleaning up after the fun and games of the night before.

“Morning, Chim.” Junghyun said as he got to his feet, yawning wildly. “Sleep okay?”

“I did until Taehyung began snoring.”

Junghyun snorted back a laugh as he grabbed himself a glass of water. “At least it was a good night though. Jeongguk laughed, which is more than I could have asked for… I…” Junghyun sighed. “I can’t thank you all enough for trying to help him so much. Honestly.”

“He’s our friend, and he’s going through a hard time, hyung. We had to do something.”

“I know, I get it, but… its been a weird adjustment, watching Jeongguk go from my baby brother who you’ve all only heard about to part of the friendship group in his own right. I didn’t expect him to fit in as well as he did.”

“It was…difficult at first for him, I think. We didn’t exactly all have the best start. But all of us love him, Hyun-hyung. He’s one of us, and we stick together and help each other out when we need to. We were attached to him before he even started here thanks to you. The amount you and Byeol-hyung spoke about him, knowing how much you loved him, hearing about him every day… it was impossible to not love him too. Once we actually met him that just became easier.”

Junghyun smiled a little, sipping at his water. “Still, I appreciate it. Hopefully he’ll start feeling more like himself soon. I know he’s struggling, and I know he can’t help it. I feel like once he regains the use of his leg he’ll start healing mentally a little more too.”

“I hope it happens soon, it really sucks to see him like this. None of us blame him, okay? None of us feel like he’s acting like this for attention, none of us are annoyed for how he’s reacting, we don’t want to rush him to get better or guilt him for feeling the way he does. We all just… we want to help him.”

“I couldn’t ask for anything more.” Putting the glass down, Junghyun stretched, feeling his spine pop a little from sleeping on the floor. “I need to run out to the pharmacy to grab Jeongguk’s prescription for his painkillers. Will you let people know where I am as they start waking up so they don’t worry?”

When Jimin nodded with a smile, Junghyun grabbed his jacket and shoes and headed out of the dorm.

He was still in his clothes from the day before, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care. He wasn’t going all the way back to his own dorm just to get changed when all he was doing was grabbing some medication. He could do it later, it didn’t really matter for now.

Getting in his car, Junghyun left the campus and headed into the closest town to get to the pharmacy where Jeongguk’s painkillers had been sent, parking up and heading in before collecting them with ease.

It was when he was leaving that everything began to go to hell as his eyes fell onto a familiar figure and rage bubbled in his stomach.

“Jiyong, what the fuck are you doing here?” Junghyun said calmly as he walked over, but despite his calm volume, there was a tenseness in his tone that he wasn’t able to mask.

Jiyong turned a little to Junghyun with a smirk, snorting and rolling his eyes. “I’m on bail while I await sentencing, I’m allowed to go where I want as long as its not Campus for now. So being here isn’t a crime thank you very much.”

“Why would they release a rodent like you on bail?”

“Because it’s my human right? Innocent until proven guilty.”

“Two people saw you beating the shit out of my kid brother.”

“Yeah but until I actually get my punishment decided for that apparent crime, I’m a free man. Besides, Jeongguk deserved what he got. He took all my friends away from me by pretending to be the victim.”

“He wasn’t pretending to do anything!” Junghyun had to wait a second, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself again. No-one was here to stop him from beating the shit out of the other senior, so he was going to have to try his best to control himself. “He was just a kid trying to fit in and you decided that wasn’t good enough. If you hadn’t been an asshole to him from day one, you wouldn’t have lost your friends, you wouldn’t have lost Yoongi. You did it to yourself, he didn’t do anything to you.”

Jiyong just shrugged as if nothing bothered him, beginning to walk away. “Ah well, I just regret the fact he didn’t suffer more before Namjoon and Seokjin saw us.”

That broke Junghyun’s control as he launched forward, grabbing the other by the shoulder and swinging him around before connecting his fist with the other’s face. Jiyong immediately yelled out, reaching up and covering the spot on his nose Junghyun had hit with both hands while blood spilt through his fingers.

“Say another word and I’ll do more than break your nose.”

Junghyun secured the bottle of Jeongguk’s painkillers in his bag, before turning and leaving to go back to the dorm.

He knew he’d probably get in trouble, but right now, he didn’t care enough to worry about it.

Jeongguk was still struggling, he couldn’t deny that much. The family night had definitely helped, but it was still a lot for him to try and process. Knowing he was surrounded by friends who cared and supported him definitely helped him process everything that had happened to him a bit better, especially since they weren’t pressuring him to just ‘get on with it,’ they were simply just trying to make him smile while the world was crashing around him.

Jeongguk felt a little guilty when his brother had gotten in trouble. He’d been awake when Junghyun had gotten back with his prescription with bruised knuckles and an explanation of what had happened. Of course, his brother had gotten in trouble for punching Jiyong, even if in all of their opinions the attack was justified. He’d almost gained a Minor Assault charge, but had ended up with just a warning due to the situation that had brought the attack on. Jeongguk was thankful for that, he knew he wouldn’t be able to recover if his brother had been locked away.

Classes were still… not happening for the youngest either. Yoongi was still bringing him his study materials and homework if his Lecturers didn’t email them to him, and he knew he was welcome to rejoin the actual classes whenever he was ready. Especially since exams started in only two weeks, and due to his subject, he had a hell of a lot of exams to get through. But Jeongguk just… didn’t feel ready yet. He was all but trapped in the dorm due to being on one of the higher floors in the building and being unable to get down the several flights of stairs without being carried, and having to be carried caused him so much embarrassment that he refused it whenever possible.

Between not being actually able to get out of the dorm, the depression that had settled itself in his stomach and the anxiety of being outside bubbling in his chest, Jeongguk couldn’t face being back in classes yet.

And although he was thankful for his boyfriend trying to help him, Yoongi had his own classes and exams to get through too, and the youngest couldn’t expect him to sacrifice his own grades just to help him.

So he would sit and try to study alone whenever he’d convinced Yoongi to work on his own stuff, despite the fact he was really struggling with it. His brain just couldn’t focus on the words in front of him as well as it normally did, he couldn’t process the information he was being given, his brain wasn’t cataloguing and remembering it like it should.

It was doing nothing to help his already severe anxiety.

That was where they were at now. A week had passed since their family night, and Jeongguk was beginning to come out of his depression a little by little. It was still very much there, still very much crushing him, but he could smile, laugh and appreciate the world a little better than he’d been able to before.

Yoongi was currently sat on Jiyong’s old bed, working through a mock exam with a furrow in his brow, while Jeongguk sat on his own, cross-referencing between his text book and his own written work. Nothing he had written was… wrong, per-say, just kind of off. It wasn’t in enough detail, key points had been missed out, and it was stuff he knew, but just couldn’t pull to the front of his mind when he needed to.

It was then, with the soft sound of Yoongi’s pen scratching against the paper next to him, that Jeongguk felt the anxiety attack creep up on him. He’d been too exhausted from depression recently to really have the energy for a full blown anxiety attack, but apparently his body was finding the energy to now, and there was no escaping it. His breath picked up, now coming in little pants from dried lips, his hands shaking where they gripped his own pen. He wanted to talk, to voice to Yoongi what was happening, but his voice was taken away with the fast paced gasps of air.

Thankfully, the older appeared to have realised, as Yoongi quickly appeared in front of Jeongguk, pulling the textbook and notebook out of the way and discarding it with his own abandoned exam.

“Jeongguk, you’re okay. You’re alright, okay?” Yoongi’s voice sounded like it was bubbling underwater, and it made Jeongguk want to rip his aids out and throw them across the room. But he didn’t. That would make Yoongi feel bad, and it would make it harder for the older to help him down from the spike. “It’s okay. What’s wrong? Are you struggling with your work? Are you panicking about your exams? Focus on me, focus on my voice. You’re alright.”

Jeongguk just squeezed his eyes closed and clenched his hands into fists, leaning forward and burying his face into Yoongi’s accepting neck, trying to take even breaths to inhale nothing but Yoongi’s scent. He willed his heart to slow down from the pace where it was about to leap out of his chest and run away, willed his breaths to slow down even a little, but it appeared his body wasn’t willing to listen to his requests.

The maknae felt Yoongi’s arms hook around his back and begin to rock him side to side. It wasn’t rough, but gentle, waving movements in an attempt to soothe as the blonde continued to mumble sweet nothings to him.

Still, Jeongguk’s breaths came in short little pants, unable to fully catch themselves into deeper breaths as he rocked with Yoongi, clinging to the older as he tried his hardest to ground himself.

Finally, Jeongguk’s breaths deepened and slowed, and the raven was overcome with exhaustion. Yoongi continued to rub his hands up and down the younger’s back, rubbing small circles between his shoulder blades.

“I love you so much, Jeongguk. It’s okay. I love you, we all love you so much. You’re going to be fine, you’re going to be okay. Everyone understands that you’re struggling. Your lecturers understand that you’re struggling. Your friends understand. I understand. You’re going to be okay. We’ll all get through this, okay? I love you so much. You’re going to be alright. You’ll get through this.”

Yoongi’s words got quieter as he continued his comfort, until they were nothing more than whispers next to Jeongguk’s ears, and the said younger felt his body getting heavier against Yoongi’s, his weight drifting to be more and more against the other as his balled fists relaxed and fell to his sides. His eyes were still open, but barely, looking at the wall behind Yoongi’s head as they drifted closed fully, falling asleep against his boyfriend.

———

“I think we’re going to have to move the dorms around.” Yoongi sighed as he threw himself onto the couch of his own dorm, next to Byeol who was fingering through a text book. “I’m sure the Uni will agree if we explain why as long as we keep the same amount of people in each dorm.”

Byeol looked up, pulling his glasses from his face and balancing them on the top of his head. Byeol wearing his glasses was an uncommon thing for Yoongi to see, the older boy tending to wear contacts most of the time to the point where some of their friend group didn’t even know his vision sucked, but he had been wearing them more recently with preparing for exams. “Hmm?”

Yoongi snorted a little at how blank Byeol’s face was, it was incredibly obvious the older hadn’t actually been listening to him. “I said we might have to move the dorms around, for Jeongguk. The fact he can’t leave the dorm without help is getting to him, so he’s not leaving at all… our dorm is on the ground floor, so he’d be able to come and go as he pleased. He might feel a little better about going outside and actually getting some fresh air if he wasn’t embarrassed every time he went to do it.”

Byeol shrugged a little and smile. “I get that, but their dorm is one person down, and we don’t have room for another in our dorm…”

“Which is why we should see if we can move it around a little. See if anyone wants to go stay in that dorm so Jeongguk can come and stay here.”

Byeol gave another small shrug and smiled. “We can ask at least. I bet Seokjin and Namjoon would move to be with Hoseok, Jimin and Tae if we asked them. Although Hyun might get a little annoyed if you got to be with your boyfriend all the time while he’s separated from Hoseok, and we can’t rearrange too much without the University’s explicit permission. I’m sure they’d understand, but too much they’d probably refuse.”

Yoongi sighed a little with a nod, before standing and going to his room where Seokjin was lying on his bed, sketchbook in his lap. Sitting down on his own bed, Yoongi bit his lip, a little anxious. What if Seokjin took it the wrong way? What if he thought he was trying to get rid of the older just so he could spend more time with Jeongguk? He shook the thought away. He knew that wasn’t the case, so hopefully he could convince Seokjin of that too.

“Hyung,” Yoongi began, and when Seokjin looked up, he continued, explaining what he’d just been talking to Byeol about. The older smiled once he had finished, not looking annoyed in the slightest.

“Are you sure this isn’t just because you want some more ‘alone time’ with Jeongguk?” He questioned, although the older’s voice was light and teasing, causing blood to rush to Yoongi’s face.

“H-Hyung! You know that’s not it, I just want Jeongguk to have an easier time coming in and out, and I feel like he’d feel better if he got to come stay with his brothers.”

“Yoon, I’m kidding, it’s okay. I’ll talk to Namjoon about it and see if he’s okay with it. It might take a few days to get permission and move everything over, but I’m sure it will go smoothly. After all, it’s not forever, and we spend a load of time in each other’s dorms anyway. We’re so close to the end of the year that I’m sure it wouldn’t be a massive deal to the Uni anyway, they won’t really care.”

And so, Yoongi spoke to Jeongguk about it while Seokjin worked out the semantics and spoke to Namjoon.

The youngest was apprehensive at first, worried about the same thing Seokjin had been jokingly worried about, but Yoongi was sure to quickly squash those doubts and convince him that it wasn’t the case at all.

They got permission from the people they needed to get permission from the day they put the request in, and then things started moving faster.

Junghyun and Byeol helped as things were moved around, Seokjin and Namjoon’s stuff disappearing from their dorm and being sorted into the other, as Jeongguk’s stuff was moved also. The process took a few days, but soon, everything was in place.

Jimin and Taehyung had gotten a little teary when they were informed about the move, worried at first that they’d done something wrong for Jeongguk to be leaving, but it didn’t take much to explain and reassure the two, who were quickly on board with the move due to the reasonings Yoongi gave.

Jeongguk had moved into his brother’s room, taking Byeol’s space who had gone to stay in Namjoon’s old room that was now completely empty. Yoongi was now alone in his own room too, but that didn’t bother him too much. Really, not both Namjoon and Seokjin had to leave to the other dorm, but the two being best friends meant they’d rather move together, and it gave them all a bit more to work with as the two best friends simply took over Jeongguk and Jiyong’s old room.

Once the move was done, Jeongguk settled in to living with his brother again quite easily. Not having to climb up and down stairs to leave the dorm had its intended affect on the youngest, and he was alright beginning to get a little brighter just a day into the move having happened.

It lifted Yoongi’s heart to see Jeongguk smiling more regularly again.

Of course, Jeongguk still spent more time in Yoongi’s room than in his own with his brother, but Yoongi knew just knowing Jeongguk had somewhere to escape to settled his own anxieties too.

He hadn’t trapped Jeongguk with him, he wasn’t forcing him into anything, and the youngest constantly had his brothers with him whenever he needed them.

The next time they had sat and studied, it had been outside, in the courtyard of their dorm. Not the one where Yoongi felt their relationship really began, but it was still calm and comforting with the fresh air around them.

They both sat on the grass, surrounded by textbooks as they studied in a comfortable silence.

This time, Jeongguk’s breath didn’t pick up. He didn’t struggle to pull air through an anxiety attack. He didn’t look like he was about to cry as none of the information he needed went in.

He sat with a soft smile on his face, resting his chin on his hand as he read through the chapter he was trying to learn.

Yoongi looked over and smiled.

They were going to be okay.

Final exams fell upon all of them quickly.

Some of the friend group had more than others, some started earlier, some only had their first final once some of them had already finished them entirely.

Some of them, namely Junghyun, Namjoon and Hoseok, didn’t have final exams at all. They had projects to submit and paperwork to fill out, but not exams in the same sense the others did.

Jeongguk was one of the unlucky ones. He was the first out of all of them to start his exams, and he was the last to finish them.

But regardless of how many, when they started or if they had them at all, all nine of them were struggling with the pressure of the end of the year.

Junghyun had drank so many energy drinks to stay up late editing his photos that they were convinced he was going to have a heart attack before the school year ended.

Byeol had a breakdown in the library, but he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, even when he’d come home with puffy red eyes and a sore throat.

Seokjin fell asleep over his sketch book more than once.

Yoongi experienced his first proper anxiety attack when he realised just how little prep he’d done for this year.

Namjoon broke his camera and lost all of his project. Twice. Thankfully, Byeol had been able to recover the majority of it and rescue the project.

Taehyung had cried himself to sleep.

Jimin had threatened to drop out and go work in an office somewhere.

And Jeongguk had been struggling to keep his head above water.

All of them were struggling to keep up with the pressure, all of them were struggling to deal with it.

But they all had each other, and that had ended up being their saving grace.

The group hung out as nine much more often during exam periods. The ones who had finished or had a while to their next exam supporting the ones who had them upcoming. The ones who were confident they had done alright supporting those who were terrified about failing.

They had each other’s backs.

Jeongguk’s final, final exam was the last out of everyone’s, only three days before the semester officially finished and everyone was beginning to go home for the summer.

Jeongguk told everyone to have fun on their journey home, to stay safe and look after themselves.

No-one left until Jeongguk’s exam was over.

They knew their youngest was still finding life particularly difficult, so when Jeongguk walked out of his exam, he was greeted with eight smiling faces.

“You did it!” Seokjin exclaimed first, hurrying over and grabbing Jeongguk into a hug.

“We’re so proud of you!” Namjoon joined in, hurrying over and wrapping himself around the two as well.

It took less than 30 seconds for the entire friend group, minus Yoongi, to be wrapped around their youngest in a reassuring hug.

It took less than 60 seconds for Jeongguk to be in floods of tears.

The others cooed and laughed at Jeongguk, wiping away his tears while none of them fully let go of him, comforting Jeongguk through the relief of his first year before over.

Eventually, they let go, letting Jeongguk at least breathe a little as Yoongi joined him, pulling Jeongguk into his own tight hug and mumbling how proud he was as he held him.

That hug lasted longer than the group hug, and Jeongguk wasn’t complaining.

Finally though, they all began to branch off. Seokjin was already late in heading off to be with his parents for the summer, and Namjoon was due to be picked up in less than an hour. Taehyung and Jimin both had to hurry off to pack ready to go home themselves, but they left with promises to keep in touch throughout their summer break. Hoseok kissed Junghyun goodbye and ruffled Jeongguk’s hair before making his own leave.

Soon, only Junghyun, Byeol, Yoongi and himself were left.

They made their way back to their near empty dorm and packed the last of their stuff away. After all, they were all leaving together in the next few days in Junghyun’s car. As promised, Yoongi was spending the summer at the Jeon household, and Jeongguk couldn’t help but be incredibly excited at the thought. He had the whole summer with his boyfriend.

Jeongguk was still only able to walk with crutches, but his mood now that the finals were over had lifted a little more, and he was hopeful that before he started his second year, he’d be walking without aid once again.

The night of the final exam passed in a blur. Once they’d gone to bed, Jeongguk was out so fast he didn’t even remember his head hitting the pillow.

The next day though, his brother had woken him with gentle shakes and a wide smile.

“Jeonggukkieeeee, come on, time to wake up.”

Jeongguk had groaned and rolled over, pulling the blankets over his face. He had nothing to get up for really, so he could stay in bed a little longer if he so chose to.

Junghyun had other ideas though.

“I know you’re tired, but come on. Time to get up. You’ll enjoy the reason why, I promise.”

When Jeongguk still didn’t move, Junghyun sighed and simply picked Jeongguk up before dropping him back onto the bed, successfully jolting him into awareness instead.

“Hyung!”

“What? It worked!”

Huffing a little at his older brother’s laugh, Jeongguk slowly sat up, running a hand through his hair as he tried to fully come to awareness.

“Get dressed and meet us in the living area, you’ve got 10 minutes.” Junghyun said as he left, leaving Jeongguk alone in the room.

Still pouting, Jeongguk did as he was told. It only took him a few minutes to select some clothes that weren’t packed up yet and wiggle himself into them, a little hard than it used to be with his useless leg, but he thankfully still managed without someone having to come in and help him.

Then, once he was at least decent, Jeongguk grabbed his crutches and made his way out of the room towards the couch where his brothers and Yoongi sat. Once his brother saw him alive and dressed, he broke into a grin.

“There we go. I was about to come and dress you myself if you took any longer.”

“That didn’t take me the 10 minutes you promised me.”

“No, but I’m impatient and you know that.”

Rolling his eyes, Jeongguk carefully sat down next to Yoongi. “So, why exactly do I have to be awake at this god-awful time in the morning?”

“Jeongguk its 11am.” Yoongi pointed out, but Jeongguk decided to ignore it.

“You’ll find out soon. Don’t get comfy, we’re going to the car.” Junghyun said with a smile, getting to his feet and walking out of the dorm with a wave to Byeol and a promise he’d be back soon. Frowning, Jeongguk once again pulled himself up and followed Junghyun with Yoongi right behind him as they made their way out to the parking lot and into Junghyun’s car. The eldest got into the drivers seat while the other two got themselves comfortable in the back, then without a word, Junghyun began to drive.

“Do you know where we’re going…?” Jeongguk asked Yoongi, looking up at the other with a confused glance. Yoongi simply grinned and nodded, but said nothing in response.

It didn’t take too much longer for Jeongguk to realise where they were going though, the route had become familiar.

They were going to the garden centre again.

“The butterfly garden…?”

“Yeah, we thought you deserved to have a bit of a break. Junghyun is going to drop us off for a few hours and finish packing our stuff, he’ll pick us up again later. Same as usual, we have the place to ourselves. Just you and me for a few hours.”

Jeongguk blushed before looking down at his feet.

They spent the rest of the journey in silence before Junghyun pulled up at the garden centre, getting out and helping Jeongguk out of the car and handing him the crutches. “If you want to leave early, text me and I’ll come pick you up. If not, I’ll be back in like… three hours, okay?”

When the couple nodded, Junghyun got back into the car and left, leaving Jeongguk and Yoongi alone in the parking lot.

They made their way slowly in, doing the usual of talking to a staff member and being let into the room Jeongguk had grown so attached to. Immediately the youngest made his way to a bench, sitting down and leaving his crutches safely on the floor, out of the way as Yoongi sat on the dusty ground in front of him.

“Hyung, come sit here. You don’t have to be on the floor…”

Yoongi just smiled, shaking his head before putting his hand out. “There’s a reason I’ve gone here. Give me your aids.”

Jeongguk frowned. “My aids…?”

“Your hearing aids, don’t worry, I’ll keep them safe.”

Once Jeongguk had removed them and handed them to Yoongi, he watched as Yoongi placed them safely in an empty compartment of his bag so they didn’t get damaged, before smiling back up at the younger and moving his hands to be in front of him.

‘This is why,’ He signed. ‘I’ve been practising a lot with your hyungs, and I wanted to show off and have a conversation with you in a way where you don’t have to worry about anything else. We can talk, we can hang out, and you don’t have to worry about being overwhelmed by anything else around us.’

Jeongguk felt tears build in his eyes as he watched Yoongi speak it near fluently. He could see the blonde’s lips moving as he signed, probably saying the words as he signed them to make it a bit easier for himself, but Jeongguk didn’t mind. His heart still fluttered at the act of understanding.

‘You don’t have to do this if it’s difficult for you.’ Jeongguk signed back, slowly so he could make sure the other could keep up. ‘I understand it isn’t as easy for you as it is for me.’

‘Why shouldn’t I make your life easier for a little while? I want to, besides, this gives me brownie points.’

Jeongguk laughed a little, choked by his tears but smiling all the same.

‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’

‘Can you believe we’ve known each other nearly 10 months, Jeongguk?’ Yoongi questioned with a soft smile. ‘We met in September, and now it’s July and the school year is nearly done.’

Jeongguk’s hands shook. ‘It’s flown by, hyung. But… it’s also been the longest 10 months of my life. So much has happened.’

‘Good and bad.’ Yoongi confirmed, his smile getting a little sad. ‘I’m still sorry about how things started, and what happened later down the line.’

‘It’s okay, hyung. I get it. It wasn’t…’ Jeongguk’s hands hung in the air as he tried to find the right words. ‘It wasn’t ideal, that much is true. But all is forgiven now, right? The past is the past, it’s the now that matters.’

Yoongi nodded. ‘I still wish I hadn’t hurt you like that.’

‘It’s okay, hyung.’

They both went quiet for a little while. Jeongguk leaned back on the bench, looking around at the soft creatures flying around them. No matter how many times they came, Jeongguk was never less amazed at the butterflies. Their colours, the way they glided around without a care in the world, the beauty of their wings. They would fascinate him the same way every time he saw them.

‘You know,’ Yoongi started again, grabbing Jeongguk’s attention as the maknae saw his hands begin moving again. ‘You really remind me of a butterfly in some ways.’

Jeongguk frowned a little. ‘What do you mean?’

‘You’re this… beautiful creature. So fragile, but so strong at the same time. I wish you understood your worth as much as everyone around you understands it.’

Jeongguk flushed pink, and he almost felt like he was back at the very beginning of their relationship, blushing at every compliment the older gave him.

‘Hyung, I…’ Jeongguk didn’t know what to say, moving to wipe at his face to will the blush to fade before be continued. ‘I love you, so much. I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for me this year. I’m…I’m so happy you’re spending the summer with me.’

‘I’m happy too, Jeongguk. I don’t know how I’d handle being apart from you until September.’

‘I don’t know how Junghyun and Hoseok do it.’

‘With lots of phone sex.’

Jeongguk choked on his own breath as he laughed, hiding his eyes behind his hands for a second before replying. ‘Hyung, don’t, I don’t want to think about that.’

‘Sorry, sorry. It’s funny though.’

The three hours they had in the garden passed faster than Jeongguk wanted it to.

The spent the whole time just… talking. About everything and anything. Kisses were exchanged, hugs were given, butterflies were awed at, and then the three hours were up and a staff member came in to inform them that Junghyun was there.

Jeongguk was sad to say goodbye to the butterfly garden for the last time until the new school year began.

But regardless, he got up with the help of Yoongi and his crutches, and made his way out of the room towards his brother.

Jeongguk only realised he still wasn’t wearing his aids when he saw Junghyun’s lips move far too fast for Jeongguk to keep track of.

“Hyung, no aids, can’t hear you, slow down.” Jeongguk said with a small laugh, watching as his brother’s eyes widened with realisation before he spoke again, slower this time.

“I said, did you two have fun?”

Jeongguk nodded a little, getting into the car with a smile and accepting the thankfully unharmed aids as Yoongi handed them to him, putting them in again. “Yeah, hyung. We had fun.”

Yoongi was in the back with him seconds later, and then Junghyun was driving.

“That’s good. Listen, um…” Jeongguk’s heart fell at the tone of Junghyun’s voice. “I have news. Jiyong news.”

Jeongguk was silent for a moment too long, so Yoongi replied instead. “What’s happened?”

“The university gave the courts the CCTV evidence from the hallway when Jeongguk was attacked. They’ve decided to not take it to trial. Jeongguk doesn’t have to testify… he’s been charged, formally, with Pre-meditated Grievous Bodily Harm. Between the CCTV evidence, the medical records from Jeongguk being hospitalised, the on-going physical therapy records showing just how much that attack affected him, as well as written statements from people who knew Jiyong to the police… they’ve sentenced him to 15 years, guys. Jiyong is literally going to prison for the next 15 years for what he did to Jeongguk.”

The car fell into silence once Junghyun stopped talking again, the two in the back processing exactly what they’d been told.

“I thought…” Jeongguk started again, hesitating as he once again tried to find his words a little bit easier. “I thought I was going to have to go to court, to testify against him, to try and prove it was him who did it.”

Junghyun just shook his head, not looking away from the road. “We all thought so too, but his face, and yours, were so clear on the CCTV that there was no doubt it was him. If he’d just been a few feet further away when he’d hurt you, it would have been a blind spot for the cameras and this would have gone on a hell of a lot longer. We were lucky I guess.”

Jeongguk just relaxed back into his chair, falling back into silence as he processed exactly what was happening.

Jiyong had bullied him nearly the whole year.

He had done his best to break Yoongi and Jeongguk up.

He had attacked him in the hallway.

He had paralysed him after fracturing his back.

He had been arrested for it, before being released awaiting sentencing.

Junghyun had punched him in the face when he saw him and had risked getting in a lot of trouble himself.

The University had been on Jeongguk’s side and given evidence against Jiyong.

They’d charged him as Pre-meditated.

They’d put him in Prison for 15 years.

It was over.

Jeongguk would never have to see him again.

It was done.

The first two weeks of their summer break passed quickly.

Yoongi had settled in to life with the Jeons better than any of them could have predicted he would have, and to Jeongguk’s parents, Yoongi was practically one of their own already.

He’d lost his stiffness with the two quickly, able to joke back and forth with his father and help his mother in the kitchen as if it was the most natural thing in the world for them to do so.

And Jeongguk was just so happy with it.

Yoongi would often catch Jeongguk sat staring at him as he interacted with the Jeon parents, a smile on his face that the raven probably didn’t even know was there. 

Nothing was perfect, nothing ever was. When Yoongi had witnessed an argument between Junghyun and his parents over the dishes, Yoongi had immediately panicked and thought that it was going to be a bigger thing than it actually was. The three had made up within the hour with Junghyun apologising and doing as he was told to, and Yoongi had been confused as to how they were just… fine, so quickly.

“It’s just how Junghyun is, hyung,” Jeongguk said as explanation. “You should know that by now, right? He shouts, he yells, he argues, but he gets over it quickly. At least with something small like that he does. He’s not used to being home and being told what to do so he lashed out, that’s all. Our parents still love him and will put him in his place but they’d never hurt any of us.”

It took a little while for Yoongi to get used to that.

Things weren’t perfect with Jeongguk’s mental health either. There were days when the youngest didn’t have the energy, physical nor mental, to get out of bed and do his physical therapy exercises. Those were the days where no matter what Yoongi did to try and help, the blonde just ended up feeling useless in helping the youngest. There were days when Jeongguk’s anxiety for their upcoming exam results that he couldn’t sit still, he couldn’t do anything but pace, and shake, and cry. Yoongi could help with that a little better.

And then there were amazing days, where Jeongguk woke up with a smile on his face, a bounce in his aided step and the energy to take on the world.

One of those days, one of the good ones, Jeongguk had suddenly burst into tears after he’d hit his left leg off the corner of a table and had fallen to the floor, balance thrown.

Yoongi and Junghyun had immediately gotten to Jeongguk’s side, trying to figure out what was wrong, why the youngest was crying, trying to see if he’d hurt himself when he’d fallen.

It was through choked tears that Jeongguk explained. “I felt it. I felt my leg hit the table. It didn’t hurt, but I felt it. Hyung, I felt it.”

All five in the household had cried that day.

Of course, it wasn’t an instant cure. He wasn’t suddenly able to walk unaided, wasn’t suddenly able to run around and dance like he’d been able to before. But it was progress. The feeling in his leg was returning, slowly but surely.

Three weeks into their summer break, three letters came through the door, all with the University address in the top corner.

All three students in the house knew exactly what they were.

Junghyun had immediately called Byeol, confirming the other had gotten his too. And when the other confirmed, it wasn’t long before Byeol was round at the Jeon house, his own letter in hand.

All six of them, Jeongguk, Junghyun, Yoongi, Byeol, and the Jeon parents sat at the dining room table with mugs of tea and shaking hands as they one by one opened their letters.

Byeol went first, opening his confirmation to say he had passed. He was getting his diploma. He was graduating.

Junghyun went next, finding out he’d also passed, with one of the highest grades in his course. He was graduating.

Yoongi then opened his. A pass. A low pass, but a pass none-the-less. He was going into his Senior year.

Jeongguk was last to open his. With five pairs of eyes on him, Jeongguk hesitated. He didn’t want to open it. He didn’t want to find out. He enjoyed being in the blissful unknown.

But with a little convincing from the others, Jeongguk opened his letter.

He’d passed.

It wasn’t one of the highest grades, not as high as he’d wanted it to be. 

But he’d passed.

With everything life had thrown at him, Jeongguk had passed his Freshman year and was going into his Sophomore. 

He’d done it.

He was going to be okay.

Fin.