Seokjin pointed to the television at a boy who was acting in a drama and patted Namjoon's leg. “Am I cuter than him?” He stuck his lip out in a pout.
“I already told you! You're cuter.” He said burying his nose in Seokjin's neck. “You're the cutest guy I know.” He grinned and gave Seokjin a peck on the lips.
Seokjin giggled then lied his head down in Namjoon's lap. “Really?” Seokjin was always happy. Namjoon made him like that. There wasn't a moment that the younger didn't make him smile. Sure, they had their arguments, but they were never serious enough to do any harm.
“Of course, you're my man. I could never find another guy cuter than my Seokjin.” Namjoon held Seokjin's face in his hand and slid his thumb over his cheek bone.
Seokjin blushed at the contact. “I love you Namjoonie.” The couple had been together for five years now. They had begun dating when they were eighteen years old.
“I love you too. I love you today more than yesterday, but not as much as I'll love you tomorrow.” Namjoon planted kisses to Seokjin's cheek and smiled.
“You treat me so well.” Seokjin whispered, then turned his head and fell peacefully asleep on his lover's lap. All Namjoon could do was smile.
Namjoon put his head back and thought about the time they first met. Namjoon was with his friends Hoseok and Taehyung at a concert. They were waiting on their friend Jungkook to arrive with his friends that he wanted to introduce to the three boys.
They had arrived thirty minutes after them. Jungkook walked up to them with three boys walking beside him. Namjoon could hear Jungkook speaking, but he didn't understand a word he had just said. Because, there in front of him, was the most beautiful man he had ever lied his eyes on.
Namjoon averted his eyes when the boy turned his eyes on him, but his eyes drifted back to him in only a few seconds. The boy was still looking at him. Namjoon decided not to look away that time. He could feel a blush on his cheeks and noticed that the plump-lipped boy was also blushing.
Just then, Namjoon felt Taehyung nudging him in the side. “Hyung,” he whispered. “Jungkook asked if you wanted anything to drink?” Namjoon reluctantly looked away from the beautiful boy in front of him. “Huh? Oh, uh yeah, I'll take a water.” He went to look at the boy again, but he had already walked off with Jungkook and the other two boys they came with.
“Taehyung,” Namjoon jogged to catch up with the younger boy who had already started walking away. “Tae, what's that boy's name?” Namjoon asked, not even asking for the other two boys' names.
Taehyung just assumed he wanted to know all three of their names, and told him. “The shortest one is Yoongi. The one with the smile so big that his eyes turn into crescents is Jimin. And the one with the thick lips, that's Seokjin.”
“Seokjin.” Namjoon repeated. He smiled, a blush heating up his cheeks. “What a nice name.” Taehyung had begun to walk away with Hoseok again. “Hey Taehyung, Hoseok, catch you guys later!” He didn't even wait for their answer and ran away towards the concession stands.
He didn't make it far before he saw the one named Seokjin. He was leaning up against a wall, alone. Namjoon had guessed that he was waiting for Jungkook, Jimin, and Yoongi.
Slowly, Namjoon walked up beside him, also leaning against the wall. “So, do you like the band performing tonight? Or did you just come for the heck of it?” Seokjin whipped his head around, obviously startled. Once he saw who was standing beside him, he smiled.
“Honestly,” Seokjin said, turning his body so that his right side was leaning against the wall, and he was looking at Namjoon. “I just came because Jungkook said there would be a cute boy coming.” He took a few steps closer to Namjoon, their faces now only inches apart. Their eyes met, and Seokjin said, “He was right you know.”
“Yeah, he was.” Namjoon agreed, then closed the distance between them. Their kiss didn't last long before someone clearing their throats behind them interrupted them. Slowly, Namjoon removed his lips from the elder’s, and looked behind him. Jungkook, Jimin, and Yoongi were standing behind them with smirks on their faces.
“I think you boys owe me twenty bucks each.” Jungkook said, his arms crossed, and his right hand out to Jimin and Yoongi. “Come on pay up.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Seokjin asked. “You placed a bet on us?” He wasn't angry, he was more amused than anything. “What did you guys bet?”
“Well,” Jungkook started. “Yoongi bet that you guys would kiss at the end of the night. Jimin said to give you a couple hours. And I,” Jungkook pointed to himself proudly. “I said to give you guys minutes, not hours.” He put his hand up to his mouth and not quite whispered, “I saw the way you guys were looking at each other, so I just knew.”
Seokjin and Namjoon exchanged a warm smile. They both already liked each other. It was love at first sight.
Just then, Namjoon was jerked away from his memories when Seokjin stirred awake on his lap. Namjoon smiled down at him. But suddenly, Seokjin sat up, smacking his head into Namjoon's chin, causing Namjoon to bite his tongue. “Ow, what the heck was that for Seokjin?” He placed a hand over his mouth.
But soon, Namjoon wasn't worried about himself. Seokjin was standing in the middle of the living room, a hand on his chest, and taking short, fast, deep breaths.
Namjoon got up from the couch and quickly ran over to Seokjin. “Can't,” Seokjin breathed out, then took a few more short breaths. “Breath. Chest. Hurts.” The elder barely got out his last word, before he fell forwards into Namjoon's arms, completely unconscious.
* * *
Namjoon paced back in forth in front of the Operation Room doors. It had been three hours since the doctor had told him that Seokjin would need to get a heart bypass surgery. The doctor had reassured him that he would most likely be okay. The mortality rate was less than four percent annually. Even so, Namjoon couldn't help but worry. What if Seokjin was part of that four percent? Namjoon really knew that he couldn't live without his other half. Life wouldn't be worth living.
It took three more hours of Namjoon pacing back and forth, new tears, and old tears dried on his cheeks, before the doctor finally came out. Namjoon quickly walked towards the doctor. “What happened? He's fine right? Nothing went wrong?”
The doctor smiled slightly to reassure Namjoon. “The surgery went well, but I'm afraid the surgery won't be enough for him to live for a very long time.” Namjoon felt his tears form in his eyes for the hundredth time that night. “He needs a heart transplant, and right now, there's a long wait list for hearts. I'm sorry sir, but I think you should prepare yourself.” He bowed to Namjoon.
“No,” Namjoon breathed out. “There must be a mistake. You don't get it, Seokjin is the most kind and amazing guy I know. There's no way he's dying. Something like this isn't supposed to be happening to him.” He let a sob escape his lips. “I'm sorry, I know there's nothing you can do.” Namjoon looked up at the doctor. “When can I see him? Will he wake up?”
“Yes you can come see him now, and he is expected to wake up in around four to six more hours,” the doctor said looking down at his watch. “Come this way.” Namjoon moved behind the doctor as closely as possible. He needed to see he Seokjin. “It's in here.” The doctor opened the door, and slowly Namjoon walked in, the doctor closing the door behind him, leaving the two to themselves.
Namjoon dropped to his knees when he saw the one he loved so deeply, attached to a bunch of tubes and a heart monitor. He never could have imagined that such a thing would happen to his one love, his first love, his love that he thought he would have until the day he died. He crawled on his hands and knees over to the side of the bed, then quickly grabbed Seokjin's right hand. “You can overcome this.” He whispered, planting a kiss on the back of Seokjin's hand. “You're Seokjin. You can overcome anything.”
After about an hour, Namjoon eventually fell asleep. He was sitting in a chair, his head rested on the bed his lover was resting in. He was woken about three hours later by a hand brushing through his hair.
Namjoon looked up to see Seokjin staring back at him. Namjoon suddenly wasn't sleepy anymore. He stood up from his seat, and threw himself over Seokjin. “Baby,” the younger boy sobbed. “I'm so happy you're awake now. I missed you.” He sat back down and rubbed the back of Seokjin's hand against his cheek, tears still flowing down his own cheeks. “I love you so much.”
Seokjin couldn't say anything back to him because of the mask over his face, but Namjoon could tell he was smiling because of his eyes. Seokjin brought up a hand to remove the mask from his face, but he was too weak to remove it. Namjoon quickly grabbed the mask and removed it. “It's okay Namjoonie.” Seokjin took a deep breath, then continued speaking. “Please, don't cry. It hurts my heart.” He blinked his eyes slowly, falling back asleep. Namjoon placed the mask back over his nose and mouth. Namjoon could feel his heart being ripped out of his chest at Seokjin's last choice of words. Did Seokjin even know the reason he was in that hospital bed?
Namjoon sat at Seokjin's bedside for a few more hours before his mom walked in. “I'm so sorry. I came as fast as I could.” Seokjin's mom was living in Japan for her job, so she came as fast as she could. She was like another mom to Namjoon. She had always been supportive of the couple.
Namjoon teared up again for the twentieth time that night. He got up from his seat and ran to embrace Seokjin's mother. He sobbed into her shoulder for a few minutes as she patted his back. “He needs a new heart, Mom. If he doesn't get one, he'll die.” He gripped the bottom of her t-shirt, his forehead resting on her shoulder.
She grabbed his shoulders and slightly pushed him away so she could look at him in the eyes. “He needs a new heart? I didn't know it was this serious! They can just get him one right? It's no big deal right?” She dropped down to her knees, grabbing onto Namjoon's leg for support.
“No Mom, it's not that simple. There's a waiting list, and it's really long. They said that if he waits for one to come to him too long, then there's no guarantee that he will survive.” Namjoon let a sob escape his lips before continuing. “They told us that we should probably prepare ourselves Mom.” His voice cracked at the end of his sentence.
“Oh, my. Oh my poor baby,” Seokjin's mom cried out, as she went and sat at his bedside. “This pitiful child. What did my baby ever do to deserve something like this?” She grabbed Seokjin's hand and rubbed the back of it with her other hand. She kept her eyes on Seokjin but said, “Namjoon, I'm sorry, but can you please leave us for a little while. I want some time with my baby.” Namjoon didn't say anything and just walked out the door slowly, only looking back once.
Namjoon couldn't handle all the thoughts in his head. He needed some alcohol in his body. He needed something to make him feel numb to everything that had happened that night. He walked out into the cold night air. He stood outside the hospital doors for a moment, just taking in the fresh air. Hospitals made him feel suffocated. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes that he always had for stressful moments like these. He found a lighter and lit one of the cigarettes. Lastly, he put on a pair of gloves since it was cold outside.
He decided to take a cab to Itaewon. There was a gay club there called Pulse, and he could really go for some upbeat music and alcohol. He sat down at the bar and asked for some hard whiskey. He was four shots in when a guy sat beside him. Namjoon was already getting drunk, for he was a light-weight, so he couldn't see the man that clearly. “What do you want?” Namjoon slurred.
“You of course. Why else would I be sitting next to you in this wonderful gay club?” He winked at Namjoon. “My name is Jun. Yours?” Namjoon refused to answer him. “Okay, um, what's your blood type? I'm blood type O. That means that I'm really friendly if you know what I mean.” He nudged Namjoon in the shoulder.
Namjoon froze when Jun said he was blood type O. That was Seokjin's blood type. “I'm Namjoon.” He introduced himself. “And I'm blood type A. Let's get out of here okay?” Namjoon wasn't thinking straight. “Meet me at this address in exactly thirty minutes. I'll be waiting to rip those clothes off of you,” Namjoon lied. In his mind, he knew that he wouldn't have sex with this random guy. He was just doing what his mind told him to do. The guy agreed, then took a cab and left.
Quickly, Namjoon went to the closest store and bought a bag of ice, a foam cooler and some gallon sized zip lock bags. On his way to the location that he had given to Jun, he stopped by his house and grabbed the biggest knife he could find in his kitchen. He stumbled on the last step on his way down from his apartment to the cab. He was still very much drunk.
Ten minutes later, Namjoon arrived at the sight that he had told Jun to meet him at. He paid the cab driver, grabbed his equipment, and walked towards the house that he knew was abandoned. He walked around the side of the house and hid his equipment behind the dying bush, then he went back around the front of the house and walked up the creaky steps slowly.
Namjoon observed his surroundings. There was a broken piece of wood leaning up against the house, and he grabbed it. Slowly, Namjoon opened the door, trying his hardest not to make a sound. Once he got inside, he tip-toed around the corner to the next room. He saw Jun standing looking at an old picture hanging on the wall. Namjoon wasted no time, and walked up behind Jun. He closed his eyes for half a second, then slammed the piece of wood into the back of Jun's head.
* * *
Namjoon slowly blinked his eyes open. His head was in so much pain from drinking the night before. He threw his blanket off of him, then looked down at his body. He was only in his boxers. He started to drift off to sleep again after a few minutes, then he remembered. Seokjin was in the hospital! He jumped up from the bed, went to pull on his clothes, but then realized he smelled badly of alcohol. Namjoon remembered that Seokjin's mother was at the hospital and decided it was actually a better idea to take a shower before going.
As he walked into the bathroom, Namjoon saw something on the bathtub. They were clothes, but they were bloody, and next to those bloody clothes, was an equally bloody knife. And, they were his clothes. He rushed into the kitchen and looked at his knife holder. There was a knife missing.
Namjoon fell to the floor. He remembered. He remembered what he had done the night before. He killed that man named Jun. Jun, the man who probably had a family waiting at home for him to return. They were waiting, but the man would never return. Because Namjoon had killed him.
He hurried to the bathroom, and quickly grabbed up the knife and clothes. He had to do something with them. Namjoon ran around his room and searched for anything he could find. He found a black bag. He quickly put the clothes and the knife into the bag, then threw it under his bed making sure to hide it with other things that were under the bed.
As soon as Namjoon calmed down a little bit, he decided to take a shower, then head out to see Seokjin in the hospital. He wished that he never left the hospital last night. If he had never left, he wouldn't have killed an innocent man. He killed the man just because he thought he could give his heart to his one love, Seokjin.
Finally, he got to the hospital. When Namjoon walked into the room, his mother wasn't there. Namjoon breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't feel like explaining the reason he didn't come back. Namjoon walked over and placed his shaking hand over Seokjin's. Slowly, Seokjin opened his eyes. “You're here. Where have you been?” He asked. He seemed to have been doing better than the night before.
“I-I was just getting some rest. I'm back now, so it's okay. I'll never leave your side again.” Namjoon forced a reassuring smile towards his hyung. He silently vowed to himself that he would never kill someone again. He would never get drunk again and make such a mistake.
But as the weeks went on, and Seokjin got worse and worse, Namjoon could feel himself slowly taking those words back. Seokjin didn't wake up anymore. He stayed asleep. Namjoon hated just watching him die.
He found himself going to that same bar he went to a few weeks back. He couldn't help himself. The love of his life was lying down in a hospital bed, just waiting to die. He couldn't, and wouldn't let that happen. He repeated what happened the first night. And this time, Namjoon felt little to no guilt. If this was helping his Seokjin get a new heart faster, he was willing to do anything it took. When he killed his next victim, he would cut out their heart, and place it into a foam cooler with ice, then he would use a random pay phone to call the police. That way, the police could retrieve the heart and use it right away.
One day when Namjoon was at his apartment, Yoongi came over. Yoongi and Namjoon had become best friends over the five years that the two had known each other. The elder had come to comfort the younger. Yoongi knew how much in pain Namjoon was. “Thank you hyung.” Namjoon said.
“Don't thank me. We're family. We're supposed to be here for each other during times like these.” Yoongi patted Namjoon on the shoulder. “Cheer up, okay? I'm sure Seokjin will be okay. He's strong.” Namjoon couldn't help but tear up. Yoongi didn't understand completely what was going on with Namjoon.
Namjoon felt like he was going crazy. In the back of his mind, he couldn't help but feel like he was killing all these innocent people for no reason. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he got a phone call. It was from the hospital. “H-Hello?” Namjoon mumbled into the phone. The hospital never called him, so that meant it was either really good news, or bad news.
“Yes is this Namjoon?” A man asked over the phone. “This is Dr. Kim. We would like to inform you that Seokjin is number one on the waiting list for a new heart. As soon as we get a donor, he can get his transplant. But, I'm afraid your friend isn't doing very well. Honestly, I don't think he will last another twenty-four hours. I'm sorry, but we should pray that a donor comes within that time. Then, goodbye.” Namjoon hung up the phone. He needed to find another man with the same blood type as Seokjin, and fast.
That's when he remembered. Namjoon looked over at Yoongi. “Yoongi?” The elder looked over at him and raised his eyebrows while smiling. “What blood type are you again?” Namjoon got up and went to the kitchen.
“I'm blood type O. Why?” Namjoon didn't answer him. He just grabbed the biggest knife in his kitchen. Yoongi was sitting on the couch with his back faced to Namjoon. Slowly, Namjoon walked up behind Yoongi, and hit the back of Yoongi's head, knocking him out cold.
* * *
Namjoon ran as fast as he could to the hospital. There was blood all over him, and he was carrying a foam cooler, filled with ice, and his best friend's heart. He looked and felt like a mess. He was crying as he ran, his tears blurring his vision. He couldn't believe what he had just done. He had just killed his best friend, for his heart for his boyfriend. As he ran into the hospital, he could hear the gasps from the patients and hospital staff. He ran up the stairs, deciding he had no time for the elevators.
He found the cardiologist and handed the cooler over to him. “Here. It's a heart. You have to operate quickly! It's a match for Seokjin!” His breathing was rapid, for he had just ran all the way there from his apartment, not stopping even once.
“Kid, where did you get this? And why are you covered in blood?” The doctor looked terrified.
“No time. Please, go operate. The doctor said he only had twenty-four hours left!” The doctor walked away, rather quickly.
Namjoon slumped down into a chair. He knew he was in trouble now. He knew that someone was going to call the police on him, but he didn't care. If he could get a heart for his one love, he didn't care about anything else.
* * *
A week later, Namjoon was at his court case. He had just received a life sentence in prison for the slaughter of ten people. One of those ten people included his best friend Yoongi. Even though he was getting sent to prison, and even though it was something he should be crying over, he wasn't. He was smiling. He was smiling because Seokjin's surgery went well. He was smiling because even though he killed so many people and he was being sent to prison, Seokjin could live. Everyone thought he was sick in the head, and maybe they were right.
* * *
It wasn't until four years later, that Namjoon finally got to see Seokjin again. Seokjin refused to visit Namjoon once he had heard about what Namjoon did. When the guards called him into the visiting room, and he saw the love of his life looking back at him, he thought he would die from excitement. He sat down on the hard plastic chair, then picked up the phone so he could hear Seokjin on the other side of the thick glass window. “Hey baby, it's nice to finally see you after this long.”
Namjoon acted like nothing was wrong, and this made Seokjin angry. “Don't act like you didn't do anything wrong Namjoon. Everything you did was terrible! Did you really think that I would still love you if you killed innocent humans, just so I could live this filthy life? You know who's heart I have in my body right now? It's Yoongi's heart. My friend. Our friend, Namjoon. Our friend, that you killed.”
Namjoon looked away from the elder. “But I did it just for you.” His hands started shaking. He couldn't get his hands to stop shaking ever since that first night of his first kill. But his hands shook worse now, after four years to think everything through.
“Namjoon,” Seokjin sighed. “Look, the reason I came here today, is because I have to tell you something. This heart. This heart that you cut out of our friend's body, is failing. After four years, my body is rejecting the heart. The sick thing about it? I'm glad I'm dying. I'm glad it's dying. I can finally be free of this burden of a heart. I can finally be free from you. I don't have to be scared anymore.” The older boy started crying.
“Times up.” The guard informed. Namjoon shook his head and screamed as the guard went to grab him to take him back to his cell.
“No, please, five more minutes. I haven't seen him for four years! You have to let me talk to him longer.” Namjoon kicked and screamed and begged the guard to let him talk to Seokjin longer, to no avail.
Namjoon stared at Seokjin as he was dragged away. Seokjin didn't once look up to meet his gaze. “I'm sorry, but we can't allow that. You can see him next week.” And as soon as the guard said that, he broke down. There probably wasn't going to be a next week. His Seokjin was dying. The boy he killed many men over, was dying. And all those hearts he ripped out, was for nothing.
And that, is the moral of this story. You can't cheat death. If you were destined to die, you will die.