You give me the best of me (so you'll give you the best of you)

“Oh, you can’t be serious!”

“A new member? Are we not okay with just six members? We’ve been doing pretty well so far.”

“Won’t adding someone new in after all this time just confuse things? What if the public doesn’t take to them? It wouldn’t be fair to them to have to deal with that pressure.”

“We’re balanced as we are, right? Three rappers and three vocalists, with talented dancers and visuals to boot. What could someone else bring that we don’t already have?”

“Exactly! We have a strong fanbase who support our music and us, adding someone new is just going to make life harder for everyone.”

“Guys, hear me out! It might be cool to change it up a bit, adding someone new might be just what we need to really make a breakthrough in the industry! Just think, no one will be expecting this so it’ll be all over the internet and might even help boost our following! Plus, the new person might be really kind and fit in well?”

“Oh come on, Taehyung. You can’t really believe that. It’s taken us years to get to know each other, it’s the only reason we mesh well together. Adding someone new is putting an unknown variable into the equation that could destroy the whole thing.”

“Stop talking with your fancy metaphors Namjoon, just because you have an IQ of 148…”

“He’s right though, Tae. Don’t you remember what we were like when we first met? It took us months to even start hanging out outside of practice.”

“Well that doesn’t mean it’ll happen now,  Jimin! We’re all great friends now, and we can all work together to make the newbie feel welcome.”

“You’re making a lot of assumptions here. What if this new person is arrogant and full of themselves, or standoffish and not willing to try get to know us? A lot of people are just in the industry for the money and fame.”

“You’re calling the pot kettle black there, Yoongi. I thought you hated me for the first year we knew each other! Obviously now I know you better and know you aren’t really like that but still, the idea that someone I had to be in a band with, perform with and live with hated me was terrifying! I can’t imagine how much worse it would be to come into a pre-established group that’s already three years old and have six people act like they want you to be anywhere but there!”

“Taehyung…”

“No Jin, it’s not fair on them. I get it that you’re all scared that this thing we’ve got going on might be jeopardised but it’s no reason to instantly rule out a potential addition to the group on those grounds. It’s selfish. This could be someone’s big break that they’ve been dreaming about for years! What right do we have to take it away from them? They’re obviously good enough if Sejin thinks they can make it with us.”

“When did our youngest get so wise? They grow up so fast!”

“When you guys started thinking with your emotions and not your brains, Hoseok. Manager Sejin, do we get to know who the new person is?”

“You all know him already actually; his name is Jeon Jungkook.”

“…I take it all back! Please no, anyone but him! I’m begging you!”

“You’re joining BTS.”

“What? Can you repeat that, please? My hearing must be going because I could swear I just heard you say that I’m joining BTS. God, I must need to go get my ears checked-“

“Your hearing is absolutely fine, god knows we pay enough to make sure it is. And you did hear me right, you are going to be joining BTS starting next week.”

“Oh, right...are you insane! You want me, Jeon Jungkook – the most hated idol to ever debut to join one of the most loved bands?”

“Hear me out. This could be good for you.”

“Oh, really? How exactly?”

“Think about it rationally for a moment. Recent polls are saying that you’re the most popular solo idol by members of the public.”

“What does that matter? Sure, millions of people I’ve never met like me. That doesn’t change the fact that all groups and idols hate me.”

“And why do they hate you?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never been mean to anyone. I mean sure I’m a bit antisocial but it’s not because I think I’m better than everyone else, I can’t help that I get anxious around people. Not to mention those stupid rumours, they seem to get more ridiculous by the day! I help an old person cross the street and suddenly I’m ‘sabotaging the elderly’ just because there was a drunk driver speeding around the corner!”

“So they don’t hate you, they hate the version of you they’ve formed in their head from gossip and hearsay.”

“I guess so, but what difference does that make? They don’t know that I’m not really like that, and it’s not like any of them even bother to try to get to know the real me anyway.”

“And that’s where you joining BTS comes into play. They’ll have no choice but to get to know you if they have to live, rehearse and perform with you.”

“Why them though? There are plenty of other groups that have more influence and sway in the community? BTS are rising through the ranks, yeah, but right now their opinions don’t make much of a difference in the grand scheme of things.”

“And that’s precisely what makes them the best choice. If we were to stick you with one of the top three our motives would be obvious. Either that or everyone would think you were only there to gain more money and fame. By joining a smaller group, you’ll be less likely to come under fire for it and whatever their opinions are will be credible. Why would they stick up for you and go against the full community if they didn’t truly believe in you? It’d be social suicide.”

“But what if they don’t like me? What if they see the real me and decide that I’m even worse than they thought. It’s one thing being hated for being ‘arrogant and cold’ to people, what are they going to think when they see I’m really just a nervous wreck that relies on medication and therapy to function like a normal human being? I’ll be a laughing stock.”

“You don’t have to tell them about it if you don’t want to Jungkook. I’d never ask that of you, you know that. All you need to do is interact with them; be nice and show them you’re not really what they think you’re like.”

“Does this mean I’ll have to move companies?”

“No, we’ve struck a deal where you’ll still be managed by us and they’ll still be managed by Bighit. Think of everything as more of a...collaboration of sorts.”

“Are we moving to Seoul then?”

“…You are, yes.”

“Wait, what about you? You’re coming with me, right? I can’t go there alone, you know that!”

“I’m sorry, Jungkook. We negotiated as much as we possibly could but this is one thing they wouldn’t budge on. I’m going to stay here and manage you from Busan. I’ll fly out every month or so to check up on you, but I can’t stay with you.”

“Non-negotiable?”

“Non-negotiable.”

“So this is all set in stone then? I didn’t have a choice from the beginning? This was going to happen no matter what I said?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m going to go pack then, I’ll see you at some point before my flight I assume?”

“Yes, you will. Listen, I-“

“I’ll see you later then.”

“Wait- Jungkook!”

The door slams shut and a man slumps solemnly into his chair, cradling his head in his hands and sighing.

“Stupid manager, stupid plan to move to stupid Seoul!” Jungkook grumbles as he enters his apartment, slamming the door shut behind him. “This is so, what’s the word? Oh yeah – stupid! Everyone hates me; the members of BTS probably do too, what’s the point in any of this? It’s not like it’s even going to help anyway, I’ll just mess things up like always.”

Chucking his keys on the table, he stalks into the kitchen and, yanking open the fridge, pulls out a bottle of water and proceeds to chug it until all that’s left is a few solitary droplets sliding down the inside. The water hasn’t helped though, his mouth still feels like there’s cotton wool in it; his throat’s still dry like the Sahara. With shaking hands, he caps the bottle and attempts to throw it in the bin, missing by a few centimetres causing it to hit off the side and fall pathetically to the ground, bouncing for a second before becoming still. So very still.

“Seriously?” The brunette groans while crouching down to pick it up, but the hand keeping his balance slips, sending him toppling to the side and into a cabinet door. It takes a moment to register in Jungkook’s mind, but when it does – when everything does – he just slumps inwards and rests his head firmly between his knees and starts to cry. The tears come all at once, and within ten seconds Jungkook’s full out sobbing, his nose both blocks and starts running at the same time, and the shallow, rapid intakes of breath he’s gasping in because he can’t breathe oh god he can’t breathe it’s happening again are the only other sounds audible.

He knew it was coming; he’s not as naïve as one would think after that day’s conversation, but he thought he could at least stave it off until he got his thoughts in order, until he got himself in order. Apparently not. What was it his therapist told him to do again? Count to five repeatedly? ‘One two three four five one two four wait shit no that’s not right what comes next fuck what comes next?!’ He can’t concentrate, he can’t focus, he can’t count because all that’s registering is panic and more panic because everyone hates him, even his own manager can’t stand his presence so he’s being sent miles away so they don’t have to deal with him anymore, he’s being sent away to live with people who hate him, to train with people that hate him, to intrude on a group that’s been a family for three years and he’s gonna mess it all up because that’s all he ever does, mess things up because he’s a mess himself, a ticking time bomb waiting to blow, a loose cannon, a liability, useless useless useless-

A phone rings, no, Jungkook’s phone rings, and the light and airy tones of the repeated tune help pull him out of his spiral. He’s still shaking, still feels like he can’t breathe but the voice is in the background now and Jungkook’s just stable enough to look at the caller ID and notice that it’s Yugyeom. With trembling fingers, he presses ‘accept call’ just before it rings out and puts it on speaker before retracting his hand as if the phone is on fire, maybe it is on fire? Is it on fire? Oh god-

“Hey Kookie! Took you a while to answer there, busy working yourself into an early grave as always?”

Jungkook doesn’t reply. He can’t get any words out, the result of trying being a garbled jumble of unintelligible speech.

“Kook! Are you okay? Are you having an attack?” Yugyeom’s panicked voice calls out in a slightly tinny quality courtesy of Jungkook’s smashed and cracked phone.

“Y-yes,” Jungkook finally manages to stutter out between heaves of breath.

“Right, okay. Urm, shit!” Yugyeom starts, voice trailing off into murmurs of what am I supposed to do again? and fuck come on Yugyeom, Jungkook needs you right now stop freaking out you dumbass! “Okay Jungkook, I’m gonna need you to take a deep breath in, okay? Try your hardest to sustain it, okay? Stop saying okay you idiot, for fucks sake… wait ignore that!”

Honestly, Yugyeom’s mini rants to himself would probably have Jungkook in stitches if he were actually attentive enough to appreciate them, and the thought of someone who’s usually so self-confident calling himself every insult under the sun would give him blackmail material for decades. But for the moment all Jungkook can do is try follow his panicked instructions and breathe.one.two.three.four-

It takes a while, it always does, but soon Jungkook’s breathing is back to normal and Yugyeom’s voice isn’t panicked anymore, just relieved, and Jungkook can actually hear what he’s saying now.

“Are you better now? Jesus Christ you gave me a bloody heart attack!” Yugyeom’s voice calls down the line and for a second Jungkook feels a wash of immense guilt because he’d made one of his friends, his only friend upset until Yugyeom continues, saying “Listen, you don’t need to face these alone. If you ever feel like a panic attack is coming or even if you’re just having a bad day because of it, call me and I’ll come to you, I literally live like ten minutes away. And no, it is not a burden before you start thinking that, you could never be a burden on me Jeon Jungkook.”

And how lucky is Jungkook to have a friend that cares so much, cares so much about someone like him. A friend who stands by him despite everyone else in the industry despising his existence, who publicly punched a guy for just insinuating Jungkook slept his way up the ladder of fame because there was ‘no way a no talent hack like him could possibly have achieved stardom on his own, a mouth like that is only good at one thing and it’s not singing’. That got Yugyeom hit with a hefty fine for assault and he had to issue a public apology (all fake bullshit about how he’d ‘learned from his reckless actions’ and would make sure ‘not to ever do anything like it again’, definitely not a speech self-written since when asked about it by Jungkook, Yugyeom looked him straight in the eyes and said “I would do it a million times over for you, I don’t regret a fucking thing”). A friend who- wait, did Yugyeom say he was would come over anytime? Then it hits Jungkook, Yugyeom doesn’t know. Doesn’t know he’s moving, doesn’t know he’s joining BTS, doesn’t know anything.

“What brought it on anyway? You seemed fine this morning when we went to get coffee-”

“I’m moving!” Jungkook blurts out unceremoniously. Straight in the deep end apparently.

“Wait…what! What do you mean you’re moving? Why!”

“Manager Hyjun told me this morning that I’m moving to Seoul.”

“Seoul?!”

“To join BTS.”

“To join BTS?!”

“I don’t know when my flight is but I’m assuming it’s soon.”

“You don’t know when your flight is?!”

“Please stop repeating me.”

“Please stop repeating you?! Oh wait, sorry…”

Jungkook sighs before picking up his phone and turning off speaker, holding it up to his ear because for some reason, it feels more appropriate, more personal for the subject at hand.

“I’m sorry… I don’t want to go, I don’t want to leave you, to leave Busan, but I don’t have a choice. It’s already negotiated and planned, apparently informing me was the last step.” Jungkook says bitterly.

“Oh Kookie… is there nothing you can do? That we can do? I’ll help, you know I will. We can go protest with placards outside of your company’s building?” Yugyeom says in an attempt to lighten the mood, only succeeding in pulling a slight huff from Jungkook.

“I don’t think so Yugy, I just-“ Jungkook starts but is cut off by a choked, watery sob coming from his throat.

“Oh god, don’t cry Kook, please don’t cry. It’ll be okay, I swear on my life it will. And I swear on those BTS guy’s lives as well because if you aren’t okay over there and it’s even partly caused by them, they’ll have me to deal with!” Yugyeom consoles and god Jungkook wishes he was here right now, not just a detached voice filtering through a phone, he could really use a hug.

“…I’m going to miss you so much Yugyeom.”

“I won’t let you! I’ll come visit you all the time, and I’ll skype you every night, and I’ll text you every day! You’ll be sick of me when I’m through!”

“I could never get sick of you.”

“I’ll hold you to that one month from now when you’re begging me to piss off at three in the morning.”

“You better.”

Silence. Jungkook doesn’t know what to say and neither does Yugyeom apparently, there’s only so much you can joke about something that could potentially ruin his own career. The silence is filled by neither, as Yugyeom’s fellow member, Jackson, tells him to “hurry the fuck up, break finished five minutes ago!” and Yugyeom replies with a succinct but impactful “Shut up asshole, I’m helping a friend!”

Jungkook can’t help but burst out laughing, and though the laughter has a slight manic tinge, it’s a vast improvement from just minutes before where he was sure he was going to burst into tears again. Yugyeom is lovely, but he can be a right brat when he wants to be, and Jungkook is honoured to be the reason for the latter. Yugyeom’s protectiveness, while a tad stifling at times, is something Jungkook would never ever take for granted.

“Yugyeom, it’s fine, honestly. Go back to rehearsal before your group kills you, I’ll be okay. I need to start packing anyway.” Jungkook says, trying to tone down his laughing to get the words out.

“You’re sure?”

“Very sure. Now go!”

“Jesus, okay! I’ll message you later, promise.”

“Talk to you later, if Jackson hasn’t skinned you alive that is.”

“Don’t remind me!”

 “Yugyeom, I swear to fuck, get your ass over here!”

“Fuck! Bye Kook!”

“Bye-“ Jungkook starts to say but the phone call cuts off before he can finish. Maybe he should light a candle in honour of Yugyeom’s sacrifice? Yeah, he’ll do that. Kim Yugyeom, Died in the act of helping-

“Jeon fucking Jungkook?!” Taehyung yells, face scrunched up in distaste. “No, I refuse, there is no way in hell I’m working with that prick!”

“Taehyung, calm down-“ Sejin starts, getting cut off before finishing.

“No I will not ‘calm down’! You want us to work with Jeon Jungkook? You’re insane; you’ve actually lost your marbles. You’re the most stupid person I’ve ever met if you think-“

“That is enough!” Sejin yells, silencing the ranting boy with a glare cold enough to freeze water. “I understand that you’re not happy with this new arrangement but you will show me respect, don’t you dare insult me in that way again.”

Taehyung goes completely rigid, not used to such severe scalding from Sejin, a man who’s usually so warm and caring. The other five in the room stare at him in concern, before Namjoon, ever the diplomat, speaks up.

“Manager Sejin, while I don’t condone the language and expletives used by Taehyung to approach the issue, I think I speak for us all when I say we’re all very confused at this turn of events. Why add a new member, and why Jeon Jungkook? Isn’t his solo career going well? Why would he need to join a group?”

“Thank you for asking me in a polite and orderly manner, Namjoon,” Sejin says, directing a look towards Taehyung, who hangs his head in shame while Jimin pats his back in consolation. “If someone had let me finish, I was just about to explain my reasoning behind this decision. Yes, there are six of you and you are all very talented, but I can’t help but feel there’s something – someone - missing. It’s visible when you dance, audible when you perform a song, and it isn’t just me that has noticed this. You do balance each other out, but because you’re doing that there’s not much left to impact the listeners or viewers. You need something to help you all stand out as individuals, not just a group.”

No one says anything, there’s nothing really to say. How can they argue with that? When Sejin says it with such conviction, they can’t help but believe it. Maybe because, deep down, they’ve all secretly felt that way for a while.

“To answer your second question, ‘why Jeon Jungkook?’ it’s simply because he was the best fit. When I watched him perform, I saw someone that would work perfectly in the role I was looking to fill. He can sing and rap, dance, has good visuals and strong duality. I can actually picture him performing live with you all, and with what he can bring to the group, I think you guys can break into the Big Three. Maybe even reach the top spot one day.”

“You know his reputation though; hell we’ve even had first-hand experience with him! Do you not remember that day? Do you not remember how heartbroken that little boy was because of Jeon? How can you expect someone that treats a little kid that way to actually work with us?”  Taehyung pipes up before quickly tacking a meek “Manager Sejin.” onto the end, fearful of getting another scalding.

“I know he doesn’t have the best track record, and I know he isn’t your favourite person-“

“That’s putting it lightly…sorry.” Jimin mumbles.

“As I was saying, I know he isn’t your favourite person, you’ve made that very clear, but do you all have any idea how much of a big deal this is? Jeon Jungkook is the most famous male idol of this decade, he has over 15 million followers on his promotional twitter alone, and that’s not even taking into account all of his fans that don’t have twitter. His last single went to number one in 75 countries, 75. I’m not going to lie, his following is part of the reason I went with him in the end. There were others I was considering, but trust me when I tell you he was the best choice by far. And he will help you achieve everything you deserve, I promise.” Sejin concludes, and most of the room look appeased (though Taehyung still looks slightly miffed).

Everyone’s heads whip towards Yoongi when he starts to speak, surprised at the fire in his eyes and passion in his voice when he says “One month. He gets one month before we have our first performance with him. If he does anything, and I mean anything of consequence in that month, he’s out. That’s my condition. If not, I’m leaving.”

Jimin’s eyes, usually crinkled shut due to his smile, widen to the size of a goldfish’s. Hoseok recoils in shock. Namjoon stares at him, both concern and calculation apparent in his expression. Taehyung’s mouth drops open, gaping wide. And Jin, well Jin gasps and proclaims “You asshole, if you leave then I’ll leave too!”

“Me too!” Jimin chimes.

“Same!” Hoseok declares.

“You’re not leaving without me as well!” Taehyung yells.

Sejin turns to stare at Namjoon, who’s deep in thought, and says “Well, what about you Namjoon?”

Everyone waits in anticipation, until Namjoon speaks a solemn “One month. Or we all leave.”

Sejin sighs.

‘This better be worth it Hyjun. Your boy better be all you say he is and more.’

“One month it is.”

From: Manager Hyjun
To: Jeon Jungkook
Subject: Flight times

Jungkook,
Your flight out to Busan is at half twelve this coming Monday. A driver will pick you up at your apartment just after ten. Only pack essentials (the rest will be sent out to you within the next few weeks).

Regards,
Hyjun.

PS – please come see me at my office asap.

From: Jeon Jungkook
To: Manager Hyjun
RE: Subject: Flight times

Manager Hyjun,
Thank you for the information. I will be ready for ten on Monday. I have only packed what I’ll need in the near future.

Regards,
Jeon Jungkook.

PS – come see me yourself if you want to so badly.

From: Manager Hyjun
To: Jeon Jungkook
RE: RE: Subject: Flight times

Jungkook,
Thank you for your response.

Regards,
Hyjun.

PS – are you actually going to make me come to your apartment?

From: Jeon Jungkook
To: Manager Hyjun
RE: RE: RE: Subject: Flight times

Manager Hyjun,
You’re welcome.

Regards,
Jeon Jungkook.

PS – yes, yes I am.

From: Manager Hyjun
To: Jeon Jungkook
RE: RE: RE: RE: Subject: Flight times

PS - brat.

From: Jeon Jungkook
To: Manager Hyjun
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Subject: Flight times

PS – i’ll see you at five.

From: Manager Hyjun
To: Jeon Jungkook
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Subject: Flight times

PS – six.

From: Jeon Jungkook
To: Manager Hyjun
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Subject: Flight times

PS – half five.

From: Manager Hyjun
To: Jeon Jungkook
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Subject: Flight times

PS – fine. Half five.

From:  Jeon Jungkook
To: Manager Hyjun
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Subject: Flight times

PS - :)

From: Manager Sejin
To: BTS
Subject: Airport

To whichever member opens this email,
Jeon Jungkook’s flight will be getting in at around half one on Monday afternoon. Whoever is currently reading this has been assigned the duty of picking him up from the airport. I will send a driver to pick you up at around that time in order for you to be at the airport for approximately two o’clock.

Regards,
Sejin.

From: Manager Sejin
To: BTS
Subject: My previous email

To whichever member opens this email,
I sent my last email detailing Jeon Jungkook’s flight arrival times two days ago and have yet to receive a response. If you think ignoring it and pretending you didn’t see it is a viable option, think again. If no one replies, I’ll have no choice but to send all of you, and I really don’t want to do that, just think of the media storm it would cause. I expect a response by the end of today.

Regards,
Sejin.

From: BTS
To: Manager Sejin
RE: Subject: My previous email

Manager Sejin,
Very sorry for the delay in our response, we have come together and all decided that Jimin will go to the airport to pick up Jeon. Please send any further information to him directly.

Regards,
Kim Taehyung.

PS – you fight dirty jesus christ.

From: Manager Sejin
To: Park Jimin
Subject: Information about Monday

Jimin,
I am attaching a detailed plan to this email that shows where to go at the airport and what to do. Thank you for being the bigger person and volunteering.

Regards,
Sejin.

From: Park Jimin
To: Manager Sejin
RE: Subject: Information about Monday

Manager Sejin,
What is happening on Monday? I’m not sure what you mean about being ‘the bigger person and volunteering’ either. Please reply with further information about the nature of Monday’s excursion.

Regards,
Park Jimin.

From: Manager Sejin
To: Park Jimin
RE: RE: Subject: Information about Monday

Jimin,
Monday is the day Jeon Jungkook flies out here from Busan. I sent an email to the group account requesting a member to meet him and accompany him back from the airport to the company building and received an email in response claiming the group had decided on sending you from Taehyung.

Regards,
Sejin.

PS – i’m guessing you didn’t know about any of this?

From: Park Jimin
To: Manager Sejin
RE: RE: RE: Subject: Information about Monday

Manager Sejin,
Thank you for enlightening me about this. I will read the plan and make sure to follow it.

Regards,
Park Jimin.

PS – no. no i didn’t. fucking kim taehyung. i’m gonna kill him.

From: Manager Sejin
To: Park Jimin
RE: RE: RE: RE: Subject: Information about Monday

Jimin,
Thank you for your help in welcoming Jeon Jungkook to the city. It is much appreciated.

Regards,
Sejin.

PS – didn’t think so. sorry about this all. you have my permission to punish taehyung in whatever way you see fit (within reason please, we can’t have someone unable to perform on saturday, this show is important).

From: Park Jimin
To: Manager Sejin
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Subject: Information about Monday

Manager Sejin,
It’s no problem at all. I’m happy to help.

Regards,
Park Jimin.

PS  - oh i will, trust me i will (i won’t break any bones, i make no promises about anything else though).

From: Manager Sejin
To: Park Jimin
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Subject: Information about Monday

PS – not the face please, we need his visuals.

From: Park Jimin
To: Manager Sejin
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Subject: Information about Monday

PS – fine.

From: Manager Sejin
To: Park Jimin
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Subject: Information about Monday

PS – thanks.

To: fellow 95 liner
From: Chim-chim

Taehyung.  
Sent at 8:27pm

Run.  
Sent at 8:27pm

To: Chim-chim
From:  fellow 95 liner

FUCK
Sent at 8:28pm

Waking up the next morning was significantly harder than falling asleep for Jungkook, still feeling drowsy and exhausted from the events of the previous day. He practically fell into bed after exchanging emails with Hyjun, even the thrumming anxiety under his skin at the prospect of meeting with his manager after their conversation couldn’t keep him awake.

Glancing at his phone, still ringing with his alarm, the screen informs him it’s already half past five meaning-

“I’m late!” Jungkook yells while scrambling out of bed, the covers still wrapped around his torso trailing behind him in his mad dash to his wardrobe. “Okay, right, what do I wear? Think Jungkook, think! What’s a good outfit for meeting with your manager who you’re super annoyed at but still care for a lot and want to fix everything with because you can’t move to Seoul without at least trying to understand why on earth he made the stupid decision to send you there in the first place, the fucking idiot!”

Wading through piles of rumpled clothing (because contrary to what most would think, being a famous idol with lots of money doesn’t automatically mean you have a maid or sparkling clean house), Jungkook eventually finds a clean white top and pair of blue jeans. Honestly he doesn’t understand why he even bothers stressing about outfits, he wears the exact same thing every day anyway; a plain white t-shirt, blue skinny jeans and his timberlands.

Right as he’s yanking the top over his ruffled hair, still sporting a killer bedhead, the doorbell chimes and he hears three consecutive knocks. Firm, sure, strong knocks. ‘Manager Hyjun’ knocks.

“Two minutes!” Jungkook calls, muffled slightly by the thin fabric still covering his face before pulling down the top. He shuffles to the door, tripping over the half pulled up jeans while trying to both get to the door and heave them up past his thighs.

Reaching the door, jeans now securely fastened at his waist, Jungkook opens it and puts on a straight face when he comes face to face with his manager.

“Manager Hyjun.” He says monotonously, and Hyjun’s face drops from nervous trepidation to hurt instantly.

“Jungkook. Can I come in?” Hyjun asks and upon receiving a nod from the brunette, steps in to the apartment, briskly wiping his feet before walking to the dining table where both sit down at opposing sides, staring at each other in awkward silence.

“Listen-“

“Right-“

“Oh, you first.”

“No, it’s fine. What is it?”

“No, I insist. What were you going to say?”

“I’d prefer to hear what you were going to say first actually.”

“Jesus Christ Jungkook, just say what you were about to!”

“Not before you do!”

“Why!”

“Because you’re not the one being sent across the country to live with people you’ve never met!”

“Jungkook…”

“No! You know what, you wanted me to go first? Fine, I’ll go first. How could you? You know me, know things I haven’t even told Yugyeom, my best friend! I trusted you! And what did you do with that trust? Throw it back in my face and do the opposite of the only thing I ever made you promise me! One thing! That’s all I ever asked of you and you couldn’t even do that!”

“Jungkook, please-“

“Don’t ‘Jungkook, please’ me! I thought I finally had a home here, somewhere I could be safe and happy and live the life I always wanted to! You’re just like him! You’re just like all of them! Why did I ever think you could replace what I lost?”

“I am not him, you know fine well how much I care about you!”

“Well it doesn’t seem like it, it seems like you’re trying to get rid of me! Is that what you’re trying to do? Finally dispose of the kid you didn’t even want? You are just like him! Actually no, you’re even worse! At least he made it clear he held no love for me, you tricked me into thinking I actually found someone who truly cared! You really are a cruel, despi-“

“Enough! Stop this right now! If you just give me a chance to explain-“

“Oh yeah, going to come up with some cotton wool, bullshit excuse to justify everything, huh?”

“There is no need to swear Jungkook.”

“You know fucking well there is! So, lets hear it then? Was it to ‘promote my new single’? To ‘increase my popularity’? How much are you making from this? Was it all for the money? Big Hit isn’t a big company but you and I know full well how much they’ll be making a year from now! Sold for some measly cash in your pocket, huh? Nice to know that’s all I’m worth to yo-“

“I did it to save you!”

“…what? What do you mean ‘to save me’?”

“Do you really think I’m so naïve that I haven’t noticed?”

“Noticed what?”

“You’re getting worse Jungkook. Staying here isn’t good for you.”

“And how do you know what’s good for me?”

“I practically raised you kid. I know you better than you know you. I thought you were getting better, you were getting better, then it all went to shit. All those bullshit articles and fake stories started circulating and soon enough they were accepted as fact by all except that Yugyeom boy. He and I are the only people you have right now, but this gives you the chance to have more. You can finally have that family you always wanted.”

“My family is right here! My family is you and Yugyeom, you know that! I don’t need anyone el-“

“Yes you do! It feels like I’m watching you wither away and there’s nothing I can do about it! I won’t let you become another beautiful flower crushed underneath this industries boot! You still have a shot, you still have a chance to change it all! I won’t be here forever, I don’t want to leave you alone when I die!”

“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!”

Jungkook launches himself at Hyjun, burying his face in his chest in an attempt to smother the flowing stream of tears, and clings to him tightly. Carefully removing his arm from Jungkook’s iron grip, Hyjun raises the newly freed hand to the brunette’s head and strokes the soft strands.

“I don’t want you to leave, you can’t leave, tell me you’re not going to leave me. I can’t be alone again. You know I can’t be alone again.” Jungkook cries.

“Shhhh… you know I’ll never leave you, my little bunny,” Hyjun soothes, drawing a wet snort from Jungkook at the use of his childhood nickname. “I promised you I wouldn’t, and I never break my promises. Ever. Everything’s going to be just fine.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“You won’t leave me, will you?” Nine year old Jungkook asked, eyes shining with the sort of innocence only a child could possess, even a child who had been through so much.

“Of course I won’t bunny, I will never leave you.” A much younger Hyjun cooed, tucking the boy into bed.

“You promise?” Jungkook jumped up from the confines of his blankets, resting on his knees and staring at Hyjun intently.

“I promise.” Hyjun assured. “Now, get back into that bed before the monsters come get you!”

“Ahhh!” Jungkook squealed as he dived under the covers, making sure no body part was visible apart from a tuft of hair.

“Goodnight bunny.” Hyjun whispered, staring at the hiding child with unhidden adoration.

“Goodnight Hyjunnie” A voice emerged from under the covers, muffled and slurred.

With quiet footsteps and the click of a light the room was plunged into darkness, unknown to the sleeping boy still hiding. Always hiding.

When Jimin awakens on Monday morning, he hears the soft chirping of birds and sees a warm orange glow crawling through the window and sprawling on his bed. His alarm clock tells him he still has an extra half an hour to sleep before he needs to get up. Hoseok isn’t snoring for the first time in forever. Laying his head back onto his pillow to catch some extra rest before he fully wakes up, he can’t help but marvel over what a good day it’s going to be.

However, it’s only two minutes after he shuts his eyes when he springs back up and yells “Fuck!”

Monday is the day he meets Jeon Jungkook.

He doesn’t get much time to feel sorry for himself though, as his yell is immediately met with four voices telling him to “Shut the fuck up, some of us are trying to sleep asshole!” and wait, who didn’t yell at him? Is someone on his side? Do they understand his turmoil and pain aswe- never mind.  Jimin thinks as he glances at Hoseok again, still sound asleep with a slight smile gracing his features.

Lucky bastard.                                                                      

An hour later, Jimin is dressed in his most inconspicuous clothing (he had to borrow one of Yoongi’s black hoodies, sharing clothes is the only pro of their mutual height issue) and is waiting outside to be picked up. Alone, because everyone else was still half asleep and were ‘mentally charging themselves for dealing with Jeon’. As if they were the ones that needed to do that, they didn’t get shafted with meeting him at the Airport!

A small ding! coming from his phone breaks him out of his grumblings, and as he unlocks it is met with a text from Sejin.

Hope you are awake, driver will be there in five.

And then sent a minute later, as if an afterthought.

Be nice to Jeon. Give him a chance.

Jimin stops.

Manager Sejin wants nice?

With a growing smirk, which he pulls up his face mask to hide, he starts walking towards the car that’s now waiting for him. If Sejin wants him to be nice, well, who is Jimin not to deliver?

When Jungkook wakes up on Monday morning, it’s to a completely different scenario. He’d set his alarm to six o’clock to give him plenty of time to meet with Yugyeom before he leaves, but when he tries to check the current time, his phone stays on a black screen. He clicks the home button again. Still black. Holds in the power button. The out of battery symbol appears.

And memories of the previous night hit him. Memories of talking with Hyjun until he had to leave to attend a meeting mid-afternoon. Memories of visiting his mother’s grave to tell her that said visits wouldn’t be as often anymore. Memories of coming home shattered and exhausted from yet another tear fest and collapsing onto his bed, phone in hand, and falling asleep almost instantly.

Scrambling out of bed in a very similar fashion to the previous day, he dashes to his kitchen and looks at the clock.

9:51.

And oh how he wants to rip those clock hands from their place, still ticking and moving because time is still ticking and moving and he’s quickly running out of it. They’re moving faster than usual, the minutes hand seemingly racing the thinner, red seconds hand.

9:52.

He runs to his room, fumbling around for his spare phone until he finds it resting atop his bookshelf.

9:53.

He calls Yugyeom and puts the call on speaker and placing the phone on his bed, proceeds to strip himself of his now wrinkled clothes that seem to be clinging to his skin because he can’t get them off!

9:54.

Yugyeom answers and Jungkook yells apology after apology to him while trying to pull his jeans up, shimmying and jumping until they’re over his thighs.

9:55.

Jungkook frantically explains his predicament while chucking a jumper on and tugging his timberlands on to his feet, punctuating every statement with an ‘I’m sorry’ because he is, he’s so sorry that now they can’t even meet one final time because of his own stupidity, that they can’t-

9:56.

Yugyeom reassures Jungkook that everything will be okay, that they’ll see each other again very soon and that he should focus on getting ready.

9:57.

Yugyeom hangs up. Jungkook feels a tear slip down his cheek.

9:58.

Jungkook  grabs both his spare phone and out-of-battery phone and chucks them into his carry-on bag, before picking that up and running through his apartment to his front door.

9:59.

The driver arrives, Hyjun is there too. Jungkook gets into the car. Hyjun looks at his dishevelled appearance and ruffles his hair, smiling.

10:00.

Jungkook leaves his apartment for the foreseeable future.

10:47.

Jungkook arrives at the airport and pulling on the face mask Hyjun had handed to him, slinks out of the car and shuffles towards the departure terminal with Hyjun flanking his left side.

10:48.

Jungkook is enveloped in a tight hug. Yugyeom is whispering how much he’s going to miss him and- wait, Yugyeom?!

“Yugyeom! What are you doing here?” Jungkook exclaims while hugging his friend back, tears freely rolling down his cheeks, absorbing into his face mask which he yanks off.

“I couldn’t let you leave without meeting with you in person,” Yugyeom says, voice cracking slightly and eyes wet with tears as well. “You think you can get out of it by sleeping in? Huh, punk?!” 

“Of course not, I’d never dare.” Jungkook replies, mouth contorting into a smile. Trust Yugyeom to always know how to bring the mood up.

“Oh I know you wouldn’t, you’d have me to answer to! And you won’t like me when I’m angry!”

“Stop quoting The Incredible Hulk you dork.”

“Excuse me? I sneak out of rehearsals, bribe a taxi driver to go faster than is technically legal to get here on time, run all the way from the drop off point just to see you and you’re going to bully me?! I hope you realise that everyone is going to kill me when I get back!”

“And you’ll deserve it.”

“Kookie!”

“What? As an artist I feel I’m obligated to tell you that was an awful thing to do and that you should never do it again.”

“But as my best friend?”

“As your best friend, thank you. So much. I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye and you made sure it didn’t happen.”

“I’d do anything for you Kook, you know that.”

“I hope you know that I would too, even though I’ve not had much opportunity to prove it.”

“How about I fly to Seoul in your place and you go back to rehearsals for me then? I’d definitely believe you if you did that.”

“Yugy…”

“Fine, fine. I’ll accept the consequences of my ‘reckless and unacceptable’ actions. Damn my ass is gonna hurt tomorrow…”

“Jungkook, we need to go. I’m sorry.” Hyjun’s voice cuts through the boy’s conversation, sympathetic and quiet.

Jungkook nods minutely and looks back at Yugyeom, who’s attempting to wipe his eyes with his jacket sleeve unsuccessfully.

“I’m going to miss you so much. Goodby-“

“No! You’re not allowed to say goodbye!”

“What? But-“

“That implies an ending, like we’ll never see each other again. It’s too final! And I’ll never let that happen so we’re not gonna use ‘goodbye’!”

“What about ‘see you later’ then?”

“Yeah! It doesn’t matter how far in the future ‘later’ is, we will meet again! I’ll make sure of it!”

“Okay… see you later Yugyeom.” Jungkook says with a watery smile, doe eyes crinkling with the strain.

“See you later Jungkook…” Yugyeom says, mirroring Jungkook’s expression exactly, a feat only achievable through their complete and utter understanding of each other.

As Jungkook and Hyjun begin to walk away, Yugyeom stares after them and mutters “maybe later should be a bit sooner…” as he pulls out his phone, typing ‘Cheap flights to Seoul’ into the search bar.

“I didn’t say how far away ‘later’ would be after all.”

Standing at the stairs to the jet, Jungkook and Hyjun stare at each other in silence, reminiscent of the day before, though this time it’s comfortable. Neither want to be the one to break it, not out of fear or nervousness, but because breaking it would bring about the end of everything sooner.

Jungkook is sick of everything going so fast. So this moment in time is going to go slow. He’ll make sure of it.

“Jungkook-“

“No. Not yet. One more minute please”

Silence. One minute passes.

“Okay.” Jungkook sighs. Hyjun continues to stare before stepping forward and hugging Jungkook tightly.

“I’m going to miss you, little bunny.”

For a moment Jungkook thinks of making a joke, saying that it’s ‘not appropriate’ for Hyjun to be calling him childhood nicknames during work hours. But he doesn’t. Instead, he lets the familiar term wash over him, filling every pore and ounce of his body, before whispering “I’m gonna miss you too, Hyjunnie.”

Jolting in shock because it’s been years since Jungkook called him that, ever since that talk about how they’d need to act if Jungkook wanted to become an Idol in his company, one of the biggest regrets of Hyjun’s life, Hyjun pulls Jungkook even closer than before and kisses his head.

“Go knock ‘em dead, you and I both know you can do it. Find your family.”

“No, not find, add. I’ll add to my current family.”

“Go add to your family then, I’d be more than happy to have some new members.”

“Good, because you’ll be getting some. I promise.”

And with that, Jungkook starts to climb the stairs and once he reaches the entrance, turns to look down at Hyjun and says “Try find someone to add to the family too! I’d be happy to have an Aunt!” before stepping into the jet.

And though Hyjun grumbles “Brat” under his breath, both he and Jungkook know that term is only ever used with the utmost fondness and love. As always.

When Jungkook gets on to the jet, he honestly thinks he’ll have a panic attack. He’s never been good with flying at the best of times, never mind alone, with no Hyjun sitting beside him to comfort him and hold his hand. This morning had been a wild rush of emotions, crying one minute to laughing the next, waking up late again and saying goodbye see you later to Yugyeom and Hyjun. His brain hadn’t a single opportunity to relax, and apparently his body agrees because as soon as he sits down on the jet with his earphones (that he’d luckily packed in his carry on a few days prior)plugged in, he falls asleep. And sleeps the full way there.

In Seoul, Jimin is smiling. No, Jimin isn’t just smiling, he’s grinning like a Cheshire cat, the one that got the milk. Five minutes until Jeon is expected to walk out of that gate and then he can put his plan into action.

Don’t misunderstand him though, he’s not an inherently cruel person, far from it actually. It’s all precautionary, the only thing Jimin’s intending to do is kill him with kindness. If Jeon is as bad as rumours (and his own experience with him) suggest, nothing will get on his nerves more than someone unwilling to bend to his will and submit. If Jimin is nothing but pleasant and happy, and doesn’t show any weakness, Jeon will have no opportunities to manipulate things.

‘Speak of the devil and he shall appear’ Jimin thinks, locking his eyes on a figure dressed in all black with a face mask and hat, walking out of arrivals. He puts on his cheesiest grin and bounds towards Jeon, clasping hands with him and staring at him directly.

“Hi! You must be Jungkook, it’s lovely to finally meet you! I’ve heard so much about you!” Jimin whisper yells, and upon noticing Jeon’s grimace at the last part, tacks on “All good things, all good things.”

But that doesn’t seem to appease Jeon in the slightest, he’s still hunched in on himself and closed off, not saying anything and avoiding eye contact.

‘Hmm, think you’re too good to look or talk to me, huh? Well, we can’t have that now, can we?’ Jimin smirks quickly before schooling his expression and appearing even happier than before.

“I’m Park Jimin, I’m so excited to get to work with you, you’re such an amazing singer!” Jimin says, and Jeon looks up from the ground just long enough for Jimin to notice the slightest tinge of pink on his cheeks before he ducks his head again.

Jimin – one, Jeon – zero.

“Come on, we better get out of here before people start to recognise us! Follow me!” Jimin exclaims while starting to walk away quickly, pulling (dragging) Jeon behind him. Jimin thinks he feels Jeon stumble at some point, but instead of feeling vindictively happy like he assumed he would, he feels the smallest twinge of…sympathy?

No way, he is not going to feel bad for Jeon.

‘He’s a bad person, remember that. He’s nasty and mean and he hurt Tae!’ Jimin repeats to himself on loop in his head.

Yeah, he’s a bad person, nasty and mean who hurt his best friend. Jimin will never, ever feel pity for someone like that.

Ever.

best person in the entire world ;)

how’s it going?

are they being nice?

someone picked u up at the airport right?

do I need to fight anyone?

Golden Child

I’m fine.

Yeah, Jimin picked me up.

He’s being really nice, said I was an amazing singer and that he was excited to work with me.

Surprisingly.

i like this jimin guy

he has taste ;)

I like him too.

I wasn’t expecting such a warm welcome, it’s different.

A nice different though.

I think we have a chance at being friends.

well get used to it kook, bc soon everyones gonna love u

they’re all gonna realise that ur literally the best person on this universe

just u wait

i’ll make sure of it

Jimin is just one person, Yugyeom.

It’s unlikely everyone else will be the same.

I’m not getting my hopes up.

if any of them r mean ill beat them up

Yugyeom…

i’m just kidding…obvs

but seriously tell me if they are

you don’t deserve that kinda treatment

especially not because of bullshit rumours and shit u didn’t even do

I don’t want to cause a fuss.

If they don’t like me, they don’t like me.

I’m not going to force them to, everyone’s allowed their own opinions.

not when those opinions hurt others

do u honestly not realise how amazing u r?

u don’t deserve any mistreatment

i’ve literally seen you walk into a bin to avoid stepping on a spider.

A FUCKING SPIDER

They deserve to live just as much as we do, Yugyeom.

We’ve talked about this.

yea yea yea, they live n breathe n hurt n feel like us

i remember

think of urself as that spider then

no matter how small and insignificant u think u r

(u are so significant btw)

u deserve the same rights as everyone else

I don’t know whether I should be impressed about your use of metaphor or insulted you compared me to a spider.

I’ll go with the latter.

Koookkkkkkk

u know i didn’t mean it like that

I know, I know.

I just like to tease you.

You’re so easy.

did u just say im EASY

U CALLING ME A SLUT

JEON JUNGKOOK ILL WHOOP UR ASS DON’T THINK I WONT

ILL FLY ALL THE WAY TO SEOUL TO DO IT

Do it.

I dare you.

OH

U THINK ILL GO BACK ON MY WORDS

THINK AGAIN

DARE ACCEPTED

PREPARE TO EAT UR WORDS JEON

Wait, no.

Yugyeom, don’t. 

YUGYEOM!

DON’T!

fine.

ur no fun :(

I’m just trying to help you.

Your group will actually bury you six feet under if you fly over here.

I don’t want a dead best friend :(

goddaMNIT stop going all sappy on me!!

u know I can’t stay mad when u talk like that

Why else do you think I do it?

ur evil

:D

EVIL I TELL U

PURE EVIL

Love you.

... love u too

stay strong

itll all be worth it in the long run

Hopefully…

I just hope I don’t screw it up.

u think u

jeon Jungkook

golden child of the kpop industry

could possibly screw something up

HAH

Yugyeommmmm

You know I hate that nickname :(

why is it ur name in my phone then?

WAIT WHAT?

WHY IS IT MY NAME IN YOUR PHONE?!

wait what

i have no clue what ur talking about…

haahhahahahaha

KIM YUGYEOM!

oh wait I think I hear jackson calling me gotta dash

Yugyeom

byeeeeeee

I swear to god Yugyeom if you don’t answer me right now!

Yugyeom!

Fine, I’ll post those dick pics you accidently sent me.

OH U PLAY DIRTY U FUCKING DEVIL REINCARNATE

HA

its ur name bc you shine like the sun when u sing.

there

i said it

… Yugy

Stop being sweet

It’s weird.

i try be nice and this is the treatment i get?!

fine that’s ur name because of that one interviewer that practically sat in ur lap the whole time

and kept calling u sexy and hot

and when the other guy with her called u practically a child she yelled out ‘he’s a golden child tho!!!’

happy now?

That’s more like it.

And please never bring that interview up again.

I still have nightmares about it.

u have nightmares about girls drooling over u?

man wish i had ur kinda nightmares

Yugyeom.

It’s two o’clock.

Shouldn’t you be back at rehearsals by now?

um well, about that…

Yugyeom… Where are you right now?

…starbucks

Yugyeom.

Stoppppp i can feel ur disappointment radiating off that text!!

Rehearsals, Yugyeom.

Now.

fine.

party pooper :(

You’re welcome in advance.

for what?

Making sure your ass knows the dance you’ll be performing this weekend.

SHIT

GOTTA GO

THANKS KOOK

LOVE U LOADS

XXXXXX

Love you too.

<3

Yoongi

Hey Jimin

How’s it going with Jeon?

Jimin

 it’s going great

amazing actually

What?

Really?

How?

Well

basically manager Sejin wanted me to be nice to him

so i’m being nice to him

VERY nice to him

And how is it going ‘amazing’ if you have to act like you love the guy?

it’s going amazing

because he’s not been a dick once

he’s not talking or anything

kinda blanking me

but I was thinking what if we all try that technique???

What technique?

Ignoring him?

no

being super sweet to him

like I’m talking saccharine sweet

maybe he’ll start to trust us or something?

then we can make him feel as bad as he’s made so many others feel.

Jimin

Don’t you think that’s too far?

I mean I don’t like him as much as the next person but

Isn’t that cruel?

To make someone think you like them and tear that hope to shreds?

maybe a little yea

but don’t you think he deserves it?

you know what he did to tae

how can you even consider being friends with him after that?

I never said I was going to be friends with him

Stop putting words in my mouth

All I’m saying is I think going that far is unnecessary

so you don’t care how hurt tae was?

don’t give a single shit about him

nice to know

go be best buddies with jeon then

if he means more to you than we do.

Jimin…

i don’t need you to try justify yourself

do whatever you want.

it’s your life after all

just remember how much he’s ruined other peoples.

Fine.

I’ll do it.

I’ll tell everyone else as well.

thanks

don’t beat yourself up over it

 it’s the right thing to do :)

Yoongi sighs while putting down his phone, rubbing his face with his right hand. What did he just get himself in to?

“So, how was your flight?” Jimin breaks the silence brought on by their respective texting, but Jeon doesn’t answer, doesn’t even bother to acknowledge that Jimin said a word.

‘Rude, but what else would you expect from someone infamous for being just that. Let’s try again.’

“Ahem!” Jimin coughs before continuing.

“How was your flight over?”

Still nothing.

Not even a fucking glance.

Jimin loosens his seatbelt slightly and leans over into Jeon’s space, pulling his earphones out before retreating to his seat and smiling innocently.

“Sorry, I just thought we could get to know each other since we’re going to be spending a lot of time together from now on!” Jimin chirps.

Jeon, who had been frozen in shock and staring in incredulity at Jimin, shakes his head slightly before adopting an expression that makes him look less like a deer in the headlights and more like the headlights themselves.

‘Damn you Jeon and your glittering eyes!’

“Sure.” Jeon says, short and not-so-sweet. More silence.

“Oh, well I guess I’ll go first then! What’s your favourite colour?” Jimin asks, purposefully staring Jeon straight in the eyes.

Jeon shifts in his seat slightly and, once again skilfully avoiding eye contact, mumbles out a quiet, succinct “Black.”

Jimin waits eagerly for a justification or expansion on Jeon’s answer but when none comes, he sighs quietly and answers the question for himself.

“Cool! My favourite colour’s blue, like the sky! I just think it’s such a nice, calming colour, don’t you agree?”

Jeon gives a slight tilt of his head, the only indication he even took in what Jimin said.

‘I swear to god, he thinks he’s so amazing, that he’s above even communicating with me?!’ Jimin thinks angrily, ‘What a fucking asshole! No wonder Tae had such a shit experience with him, trying to talk to him is like pulling teeth!’

Composing himself, Jimin smiles perfectly and tries again.

“Your turn!”

Jeon looks taken aback, asking, “To do what?”, hastily.

Keep smiling.

“To ask a question, silly!”

“Oh…um…what’s your favourite number I guess…?” Jeon murmurs, turning rapidly to look out of the car window.

‘Can’t even look at me? Jesus Christ I’m not that ugly, just because you look like a fucking god!’

“Hmm… my favourite number is probably three, what about you?”

“O-one.” Jeon stutters, and of course, of fucking course his favourite number is one. Always has to be number one, right? No fucking wonder.

“Nice choice! I like number one as well! Maybe one day we’ll both be number one as a group?” Jimin says while feigning a wistful sigh, “Can you imagine? All seven of us performing on stage, selling out arenas, winning awards! Together!”

‘Together? Not in this lifetime, not ever.’ Jimin thinks while continuing to fake looking excited about the future. ‘One month, it’s only one month. Then Jeon will be gone and everything will be back to normal. We’ll be successful without him and-’

“Everything will go great!” Jimin exclaims while grabbing both of Jeon’s shaking hands and, clasping on to them tightly, looks at him as if he hung the stars in the sky.

Jeon’s lips turn upward slightly before he grins fully, lips stretched over his whitened teeth and eyes crinkled into crescents, shocking Jimin slightly at the complete one-eighty in expression.

‘You look so lovely when you smile, it’s a shame your personality doesn’t match.’ Jimin thinks, ‘What a waste of a pretty face.'

The majority of the transfer to his new shared apartment Jungkook spent texting and updating Yugyeom until Jimin forced him into a conversation to ‘get to know each other’.

He was still feeling pretty high-strung from the stress of everything; leaving home, travelling, meeting Jimin. It was all a lot to take in at once and so, when asked questions by Jimin who was acting very much like an overexcited puppy, his ability to function pretty much shut down.

He could feel his anxiety levels starting to rise, and being questioned about things he had never even given thought to before wasn’t helping. He was sure his impending attack was going to happen until Jimin held his hands. Jungkook considers himself very lucky that today was a ‘touching’ day, god knows what he would have done if it wasn’t. Jimin would have probably hated him if he’d have smacked his hands away or yelled at him, and Jungkook really doesn’t want that.

Jimin seems perfect. An ideal friend, the kind of person that until now had only existed in Jungkook’s wildest dreams (apart from Yugyeom of course, he would always be one of the most important people in the world to Jungkook, but very much so in a ‘platonic soulmates’ way). Jungkook doesn’t want to ruin a friendship before it even starts.

He’s finally found someone who doesn’t listen to the rumours about him, finally met someone who wants to get to know him before they make a solid judgement, finally met someone that cares.

Jungkook doesn’t want to throw that away. He knows from experience how rare it is to get this sort of opportunity, he can’t waste it all because of his shitty mental health. No, he won’t waste it because of his shitty mental health.

He’s going to accept Jimin’s offer of friendship, no matter what negative, self-deprecatory things his mind is spitting at him. He’s going to make Yugyeom proud. He’s going to make Hyjun proud. He’s going to make himself proud. No matter what.

The car comes to an abrupt stop, breaking Jungkook out of his inner musings and back into reality. A glance at Jimin tells him they must be at the apartment, considering Jimin is starting to unfasten his seatbelt and get out.

Waiting for confirmation, Jungkook fiddles with the belt buckle slightly until Jimin pops his head back in and says, “That’s us here! Everyone’s inside waiting to meet you, oh, except for Taehyung, he’s out at the recording studio at the moment working on some things!”, before disappearing just as quickly.

Finally unfastening his belt, Jungkook opens the door and proceeds to try get out and stand, but staggers slightly upon the realisation that his legs have gone numb.

Shaking his legs and smacking his thighs a few times to try get them working again, he tries once again to stand and upon his success, walks towards the boot of the car, taking his carry-on bag from the driver with a shy, “thank you very much.”, which is met with a smile.

He looks up to see Jimin waving enthusiastically from the large doorway, beckoning him to follow through it. Following the silent command, Jungkook jogs to the entrance and steps inside, before trailing after Jimin along multiple hallways to an elevator like a stray kitten.

Stepping inside, Jungkook is met with a plethora of numbered buttons and cheesy music surrounding him. Jimin presses the number five button, which lights up, and the doors slide shut slowly and soon they’re rising higher and higher until they reach the fifth floor.

Jungkook hears a subtle ‘ping!’ sound as the doors reopen, and Jimin once again takes to dragging him places, clasping on to his wrist tightly while dashing out of the elevator and down the hall, trailing Jungkook behind him like an old toy.

Soon, they stop outside of a wooden door with the number 1306 just below the peephole.

“Here we are! This is our apartment, I hope you like it,” Jimin begins, wringing his hands sheepishly before continuing, “It might not be as luxurious as you’re used to but I hope it’s okay…”

And god, isn’t Jimin just the sweetest? To be trying so hard to make sure Jungkook is comfortable, even taking his previous circumstances into consideration. Honestly, Jungkook thinks he might enjoy having some company, it’s been years since he’s lived with anyone after all.

Jungkook gives what he hopes is a reassuring smile which Jimin returns, before opening the door to the apartment that holds Jungkook’s future.

Jimin enters and Jungkook is about to follow, before he hears a loud yell from inside.

“JEON JUNGKOOK!”

A figure, slightly smaller than Jungkook, appears in the doorframe and stares in scrutiny. They give Jungkook a once over before nodding and smiling, apparently satisfied with what they’ve found.

“Min Yoongi, rapper. Nice to meet you.” The figure, now identifiable as Yoongi, says while sticking his hand out. Jungkook stares for a few seconds before subtly shaking himself out of his stupor, clasping Yoongi’s hand and shaking it. The movement is jerky and short, a product of Jungkook’s constant nerves bubbling just under the surface.

Yoongi gives another gummy smile before turning around and hollering, “Yah, Jungkook’s here, stop being antisocial and come introduce yourselves!” and then softer, in Jungkook’s direction, “Follow me, I’ll show you where the living room is and you can have a seat. All that travelling must have taken a lot out of you, right?”

Jungkook nods timidly and follows Yoongi through the hallways until he stops abruptly in front of a door. Turning around, Yoongi speaks in a hushed tone. “Now, I feel like I’m obligated to warn you that everyone is a little… how should I put it? Loud? Excitable? Hm, no they’re not quite right.”

Jungkook waits as Yoongi’s face twists and morphs through many expressions, clearly thinking hard. Suddenly, Yoongi clicks his fingers and says, “Obnoxious, that’s it!” and Jungkook giggles softly, covering his mouth with his hand because Yoongi is really funny oh my god.

The once closed door slams open unexpectedly, wiping the triumphant grin off of Yoongi’s face and scaring them both, squeaks escaping their mouths simultaneously.

“What was that Yoongi dearest? I must have misheard you. There’s no way that you just called us obnoxious, surely?” the broad-shouldered male says from the doorway, eyes glinting dangerously. “Especially when it’s you that is always falling asleep in our obnoxious laps.”

Yoongi’s face turns red, flushing in embarrassment, as he pushes past the now sniggering male. Still laughing, they turn around to face Jungkook and smile warmly.

“Hi there, I’m Kim Seokjin, feel free to call me Jin though. Everyone else is waiting to meet you in the living room, better not keep them, right?” he says, turning around and walking through the doorway without waiting for a response.

‘Guess I don’t have much of a choice, huh?’ Jungkook thinks, stepping forward to follow Seokjin and entering the room. He sees five males scattered around, with Jimin and Yoongi conversing somewhat tensely in the corner and Seokjin standing waiting for him. Two other people are sitting on a couch, looking at him intensely.

The one on the left stops inspecting him first, standing up and bounding over to Jungkook, grasping his shoulders.

“I’m Hoseok! It’s great to finally meet you!” Hoseok says brightly before ruffling Jungkook’s hair and turning to face the other male, still sitting and observing them from the couch.

Slowly, he stands up and makes his way leisurely over to the two. His stare is beginning to unnerve Jungkook, and Jungkook is about to verbalise his issue but the male speaks before he has the chance.

“I’m Kim Namjoon, the leader of BTS. Jeon Jungkook, yes? It is a pleasure to meet you and to have you join our group.”

And then he smiles. Oh, he smiles. And it is one of the nicest smiles Jungkook has ever seen; bright, white, prefaced and punctuated with a dimple at the beginning and a dimple at the end of it. It’s perfect.

Not like Jungkook. Not like Jungkook’s smile; goofy, with front teeth too big and upper lip stretched so thin it’s invisible. The same smile that his father used to hate so, so much. The same smile his father used to make sure he never saw again. The same smile that Hyjun brought back. The same smile that Yugyeom compliments every time he sees it. The same smile that he flashed to Jimin at the airport and oh god he smiled at Jimin during the ride here, why did he do that? He’s such an idiot, doing the one thing he was never meant to do, it’s bad enough having to do it for fans at fanmeets and concerts but that can be excused because there he is obligated to do it but that smile wasn’t necessary. He didn’t need to do it. It was of his own volition. And that is-

“Earth to Jungkook! You still with us, space cadet?” Jimin’s voice calls, breaking through Jungkook’s impending crisis and pulling his focus back to the room and everyone in it – everyone currently staring at Jungkook with varying levels of concern.

“Oh, um-“ Jungkook coughs, “Sorry, I’m Jungkook, though you already knew that I suppose. Nice to meet you all.” And god he is so awkward, so unable to even greet people properly.

And the room is silent, awkward silence filling the air, before Jimin (of course it would be Jimin, Jungkook may have only known him for a few hours but it had become obvious to him within that time that Jimin was the type of person to want to make others as comfortable and happy as possible) speaks up. “I have an idea! What about we watch a movie together? Like a bonding exercise to get to know Jungkook?”

Everyone seems to briefly contemplate the idea before all nodding and before Jungkook knows it, they’re all sitting either on the couch or the floor watching Iron Man because they are so considerate, so caring that they allowed Jungkook to pick the movie.

Jimin and Hoseok are sprawled lazily on the carpet, legs tangled and heads propped up on their respective arms, while Seokjin and Namjoon occupy one half of the couch leaving the other half for Jungkook and Yoongi. So far Yoongi has been nice enough; asking Jungkook about his interests but not being too intrusive, a happy medium.

The movie finishes and so they watch another, and another until it’s late and most are having trouble keeping their eyes open, not to mention Yoongi who has long since fallen asleep, nuzzling his pillow and puffing out his lips with every exhale cutely.

“We should all be getting to bed I think, especially you Jungkook, you have a big day ahead of you tomorrow after all.” Namjoon says while standing up slowly, stretching out his long limbs and helping Seokjin up aswell. And Jungkook agrees because in all honestly, he is shattered. He could really do with a good night’s sleep.

And so that’s what he tries to get once he is shown to his room, but the world seems to hate him as no matter what he tries, he can’t seem to fall asleep. He tries everything, every position known to man, every breathing exercise on the internet, but to no avail.

Sighing, he stands up and, tiptoeing, makes his way out of his room and along the hall to where he thinks the kitchen was. Blurry eyed, Jungkook enters and almost screams when he comes face to face with someone he is sure, even with fuzzy vision, he did not meet earlier.

The stranger seems to be just as shocked, as they drop the carton of milk they were holding and it falls to the floor, the white liquid splashing and spilling on the floor and slightly onto their shoes. They stare wide-eyed for a few more seconds before speaking in a low, gravely tone.

“Jeon.”

Time is frozen. Or at least, that’s what it feels like to Jungkook. He’s still maintaining eye contact with the stranger whose eyes seem to have slanted slightly, looking more like a piercing glare in comparison to a few moments ago when they were blown open in shock. And Jungkook can’t move. The other’s gaze seems to hold him in place, to wrap invisible wires around his limbs and hold an invisible hand over his mouth.

Panic kicks in. This stranger is dressed in all black, raiding the fridge and stealing milk (odd choice but who is Jungkook to judge) at 3am. This stranger looks like he wants to eat him alive. This stranger knows his name. Oh god, this person knows Jungkook’s name. Jungkook tries to think rationally; he’s famous, known worldwide for his music, it’s not a stretch to imagine the intruder has seen his face on a billboard somewhere or while scrolling through twitter.

But Jungkook can’t help panic because he is at a disadvantage. This person knows his name, who knows what other information he has on him. Jungkook, on the other hand, knows nothing. Maybe the milk was a decoy? Maybe it was to catch him off-guard, to confuse him and the intruder is about to strike any minute now while Jungkook’s preoccupied. Maybe-

“I’m Kim Taehyung.”

Oh. Oh.

Jungkook’s defensive posture relaxes at the sound of those four syllables, at the information and intense relief they bring with them. How could he have forgotten? Jungkook thinks back to what Jimin said in the car earlier.

“ That’s us here! Everyone’s inside waiting to meet you, oh, except for Taehyung, he’s out at the recording studio at the moment working on some things!”

Taehyung.

“Taehyung!” Jungkook squeaks, slightly higher pitched than he’d ever admit (Yugyeom would never let him live it down, especially after their argument because Jungkook does not sound like a girl goddamnit!) and jolts slightly.

Taehyung furrows his eyebrows slightly and, with a shake of his head, steps forward and stretches out his hand. Jungkook’s mind, still slightly muddled, fails to process that Taehyung is quite clearly offering a handshake and instead, stares at the hand dumbfoundedly. Somewhere in the back of his mind Jungkook notes that Taehyung has really nice hands, with long fingers and- focus Jungkook!

Right as Jungkook goes to shake his hand Taehyung drops it, resulting in an awkward withdrawal and an even more awkward silence.

“I’m Jeon Jungkook,” Jungkook coughs lightly, cheeks tinging with the slightest hint of rose. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Taehyung stares for a long time before finally answering.

“You too, I’ve heard a lot about you. I admit this isn’t exactly the first impression I was hoping to make, you probably thought I was a serial killer or thief or something. Sorry if I frightened you!” Taehyung says, one side of his mouth curving into a smirk.

Jungkook starts to splutter out reassurances that of course he wasn’t scared! But within a few moments, he realises he’s being teased. Pouting slightly, Jungkook huffs a laugh.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. I was just coming through for some water.”

“Couldn’t sleep?”

“Yeah.”

“Awh, poor bunny.”

Jungkook visibly jumps at the pet name. Taehyung just called him bunny. Honestly, Jungkook can’t tell if he’s being teased again or if Taehyung is being genuine in his use of the nickname, the other’s face giving nothing away.

“Well, you’re gonna need to get some rest or you won’t be able to show off-“ Taehyung clears his throat, “show us what you can do tomorrow!”

Normally Jungkook would be stubborn and stay up anyway, god knows he’s disobeyed Hyjun enough times throughout their years together, but Jungkook would much rather go back to his room than stay engaged in this awkward, stilted conversation where Taehyung seems to be pulling all the strings.

“You’re probably right, I’ll see you in the morning. Have a good sleep.” Jungkook says, taking a glass of water from Taehyung and god everyone is so courteous and considerate here.

“You sure you’ll be able to find your way back to your room okay? I can show you the way if you want?” Taehyung teases, silently laughing to himself.

Turning red, Jungkook shakes his head rapidly, bows, and exits the kitchen to Taehyung's call of “Sleep well!”

Needless to say, sleep doesn’t find Jungkook fast that night and when it does, his dreams centre around six people in particular.

“Sleep well!” Taehyung yells after Jeon, and only after he is certain Jeon is out of sight, looks at the puddle of spilled milk and mutters, “Fucking Jeon.”

Grabbing a handful of kitchen roll, he crouches on the floor and begins to wipe up the white liquid, cursing under his breath when some soaks into the sleeve of his jumper.

“Goddamnit, why did he have to come to the kitchen right when I was getting a drink, couldn’t he have just stayed in his room?” Taehyung grumbles, walking over to the bin and tossing the, now empty, milk carton and dripping wet papers into it.

Taehyung takes a seat at the table and drops his head onto the wooden surface. He just has to be civil for one month, one month and then he can hate Jeon to his heart’s content. He’d much rather just ignore Jeon for the full duration of his stay, hiding in his room or at the studio or anywhere Jeon isn’t, but he promised Sejin to be welcoming and nice.

“Now, Taehyung. I have something to ask of you.”

“What?”

“I’ve already told the rest of the members but I thought it would be best to talk to you in private.”

 “I’ve already agreed to Jeon joining for a month, what more do you want from me?”

“Be nice to Jeon.”

“Listen, Sejin I-“

“I’m not asking you to be best friends and ride off into the sunset on a unicorn or anything Taehyung, I just want you to be civil at least. Don’t antagonise him.”

“Sejin, do you realise exactly how much I hate Jeon? I can barely stand the thought of him, never mind talking to him in person.”

“You don’t have to like him, just don’t let him know you don’t like him. You need to understand that this is a big thing for him. He’s moving all the way across the country alone to live and work with a bunch of strangers. He’s going to need support.”

“Well he can get support from someone else, because there is no fucking way-“

“Taehyung! What have I told you about swearing!”

“...not to do it in front of you. Sorry.”

"Taehyung. Please.”

“Sejin…”

“I care for you Taehyung, I care about you far more than you realise. I would never do anything that I thought would hurt you or put you in harm’s way – physically or mentally. Same goes for everyone else. Trust me when I tell you that this will all work out in the end, I’m sure of it. You just need to give it a try.”

“You know what he did. I can’t just look past that…”

“I’m not asking you to. I agree, I think what he did to your bro-“

“Don’t! Don’t call him that…please.”

“Of course. I think what he did to” A sigh. “That boy was wrong, I think it was cruel. But maybe now you can understand why he did it.”

“What?”

“You’re going to be working together for a month, ask him about it at some point. You never know, it might shed some light on things.”

“…why do you always have to be right.”

“I have to be, it’s part of my job. I’ve got to be the voice of reason when yours leaves you.”

“Fine. I’ll be as nice to Jeon as I can. Just for you.”

“Thank you, Taehyung.”

Taehyung sighs before standing up, the chair scraping across the kitchen tiles. Languidly, he pads over to the fridge, retrieves a bottle of water, and exits the kitchen. He begins to walk but pauses in front of the door to Jeon’s new room. He stares at the white wooden barrier before clenching his fists, slightly crushing the water bottle, and walking away.

‘One month,’ he thinks. ‘one month and I’ll get my answers.’

The only thing Jungkook’s mind registers when he wakes up to a foreign ceiling, in a foreign bed, in a foreign room, is panic. Panic because he doesn’t know where he is, panic because his sleep-addled brain is still processing everything at a snail’s pace, panic because he doesn’t know where he is. Except he does, his brain reminds him half a minute into said panic. He’s in his new apartment. His new home.

His phone tells him its 6:17 and that he’s awake early for once. His phone tells him he’s in Seoul currently. What it does not tell him however, is how to find the bathroom in this apartment because Jungkook really needs the toilet. Stumbling out of bed, he feels along the walls of his still dark room until he reaches the door and finds himself in the hallway. He’s surrounded by doors, too many to properly distinguish, especially while still half-asleep. 

Luckily, a door at the opposite end to Jungkook’s current position is cracked open, a tap attached to something (presumably a bath) visible through the gap. Flicking on the light switch, Jungkook feels a strong stinging sensation permeate his eyes and hisses, clamping his eyelids shut before sighing at the sweet relief the action brings.

Using the toilet while essentially blind isn’t an easy experience, but Jungkook isn’t a quitter, so he soldiers on until he’s able to slightly open his eyes, while at the sink washing his hands with lavender scented foam soap. Foam. Soap.  Soap that’s foam - not sticky, anti-bacterial smelling liquid – and makes it feel like he’s washing his hands with clouds.

Maybe he could learn to like it here?

When Jungkook looks in the bathroom mirror, he’s greeted with a smattering of purple underneath his half-shut eyes thanks to his early morning excursion to the kitchen. Thinking back on his meeting with the elusive Taehyung, Jungkook feels a confusion wash over him at a certain memory.

“Well you’re gonna need to get some rest or you won’t be able to show off- show us what you can do tomorrow!”

Did Taehyung really call him a show-off? Or is Jungkook just remembering things wrong? It was awfully late at night after all, maybe Jungkook’s just imagining things? Everyone else has been so welcoming and kind, and apart from that slip up (that might not have even happened) Taehyung was lovely, a bit of a tease but nice all the same. Unless it was one of those Freudian slips, one of those unintentional errors that reveal what someone really thinks. Does Taehyung see him as an attention seeker, an arrogant jerk with nothing better to do than make himself out better than other people?

Maybe he does. Wouldn’t that be great? For Jungkook to finally find somewhere to make a home with people that care about him just for one of them to secretly hate him?

Sighing, Jungkook shakes his head before looking at himself again, noticing more than just his eyes this time. This time he notices his nose; large and too big for his face. This time he notices his teeth; crooked and too big for his face. And this time, when he notices his eyes, he notes they too are wide and too big for his face. Everything is too big for his face. Everything is too big for him. His features, his new home, but mostly his life.

Some days everything feels too much, overwhelms him until he’s left panting and shaking on the floor, a thick miasma of pressure and expectations envelops his body because you’re an idol Jungkook. There are standards you must meet. Standards for your appearance, for your performance, for you. You can’t let the public know you’re fallible, that you’re a human being with emotions, feelings and problems just like them. No, you have to be above them, no one will care about your music if you act like your old self.

But what is Jungkook’s old self? Honestly, he can’t really remember. It’s as if that version of himself was melted down and reshaped into a perfect, idol shaped mould. Made into a carbon copy of every other artificially produced star before him. One easily replaceable in the event of divergence. If Jungkook ever drifts from the path laid out before him, there’s someone new, younger and better waiting in the wings to take his spot, for their time to shine. Until they too stray and the process repeats. It’s inevitable. The question is not whether it will happen but rather when it will happen.

Every idol has their expiration date; maybe Jungkook’s was approaching faster than he noticed? Maybe that’s why Hyjun sent him here. Maybe when Hyjun said he wanted to save him, perhaps he was talking about his career. Hyjun may be the closest thing Jungkook has to a father but at the end of the day he is Jungkook’s manager. He needs Jungkook to be successful, his job relies upon it.

And who is Jungkook not to deliver? After everything Hyjun has done for him, it would be selfish for Jungkook to not return the favour. So, he sings, performs and he does what he’s told. The higher-ups pull his strings, making him dance to their tune while Hyjun watches in the audience; a mere spectator in this grand marionette show, chained to his seat and unable to intervene.

No matter Hyjun’s reasoning for sending him here, Jungkook will never be able to grudge him for it. Hyjun has never once acted without Jungkook’s best interests at heart. But that doesn’t mean Jungkook doesn’t miss him, miss Yugyeom, miss his home.

He misses Hyjun ruffling his hair everyday without fail when Jungkook entered the studio. He misses Yugyeom clinging to him, cooing his name over and over again when trying to get Jungkook’s attention. “Jungkoooook! Koooook!-

“-Kookie! Are you in there?” A voice – Jimin – calls from the other side of the locked door. “We’re all gonna have breakfast, Jin made extra for you!”

“Oh, um- yeah. I’ll be out in two seconds!” Jungkook calls back, quickly fixing a strand of hair that was sticking up and composing himself before unlocking the door and stepping outside.

He comes face to face with Jimin, who is beaming and still looking perfect somehow despite it being half six in the morning, and gives the most genuine closed-lipped smile he can muster. Jimin just smiles wider in response before grabbing his wrist (and Jesus, is it a thing in Seoul that people just grab each other without warning or is it just Jimin?) and tugging him down the hall towards the kitchen.

Jungkook hears everyone before he sees them, a heated conversation about the right way to cook eggs being the subject at hand apparently.

“I’m just saying, scrambled is the way to go.”

“Yeah right, and lets just mush up the bacon and sausages while we’re at it. Fried.”

“In this household we boil!”

“Not today Satan! We are not making eggs, period. After what happened last time? Yeah, no thanks I’d rather not repeat that experience.”

“That’s so unfair! It’s not our fault Joonie is a clutz, don’t punish us for his mistakes!”

“Hey!”

“What? It’s true!”

“That doesn’t mean you have to throw me under the bus, I want eggs just as much as you guys!”

“Okay, lets compromise and fry the eggs.”

“Yoongi, shut up!”

“I’m three years your senior you brat, show some respect!”

“Sorry Grandpa!”

“Taehyung, I swear to god, call me Grandpa one more time!”

“Grandpa.”

“Oh, you asked for it! I’m gonna kick your ass, Kim Taehyung!”

“Watch the pot handles! If any of my cooking falls on the floor, I won’t be happy!”

Silence.

“Sorry Jin.” four voices say in synchrony.

Jimin coughs, and everyone seems to notice their presence finally.

“I’ve got an idea! We’ll let Jungkook decide, since it’s his first morning here!” Hoseok chimes, grinning.

Agreement is unanimous and suddenly everyone is staring at Jungkook; some in anticipation (Namjoon and Hoseok), some while mouthing ‘boiled!’ (Taehyung), one while smacking Taehyung upside the head (Jin) and one cocking an eyebrow (Yoongi).

And Jungkook feels the pressure because he can’t side with everyone, he needs to pick a side. It’s a trivial question, sure, but it’s a question all the same.

Getting it over with, Jungkook blurts, “How about we make them all!”.

Everyone – except for one person – stare in disbelief as if Jungkook had suggested something insane like eating the eggs raw. But Jin smiles.

“Thank you Jungkook. If these idiots would actually bother to listen to me they would know I can easily make everyone the kind of eggs they want, it’s really not that difficult.”

Taehyung turns to Jin and whines, “Are you telling me that Yoongi almost killed me over nothing!”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Jin!” Taehyung yells while fake crying, “You traitor!”

“Guys, as much as I’m loving the newest episode of this k-drama, I am starving and I’m sure Kook here is too, right?” Jimin intervenes, and now that Jimin mentions it, Jungkook is actually really hungry.

“Uh- yeah, eating would be good.” Jungkook says, mentally hitting himself because ‘eating would be good’, really Jungkook? Is that seriously the best you could come up with?

“Well then, I’ll start making the eggs!” Jin says, cracking multiple eggs a bowl, two into a pan and sitting the remaining two in a pot of water. Like he already knew how the whole argument would resolve.

Noticing that Jimin is now sitting down and pointing to a chair, Jungkook slowly sits and looks around the table at everyone immersed in little conversations looking happy. Really happy.

And Jungkook thinks - maybe, just maybe - that will be him soon enough.

Breakfast was a relatively subdued affair when everyone was served their food, leaving Jungkook rather shocked. With the state the kitchen had been in during the preparation stage, Jungkook had assumed it would be the same while eating but as soon as the plates touched the table, comfortable silence (apart from some loud chewing, courtesy of Taehyung and Jimin) enveloped the room. Jungkook had thought to eat slowly and neatly in an attempt to make a good impression, but that idea was soon proved completely unnecessary as he witnessed all other members – apart from Yoongi and Namjoon – ravaging their meals with the passion of starved men. Jungkook did attempt to keep up, but his effort was futile as he soon discovered he had no chance against the other four, who seemed to be racing each other to finish like athletes.

After everyone had finished their food and the ‘winner’ was decided (“I win!” “No way, I swallowed before you!” “No you didn’t!” “Yes I did!” “No you didn’t!” “Yes I di-“ “Will you two shut up! You’re both losers, there it’s settled.” “Hey!”), they’d all had to leave to go to rehearsals.

And so here Jungkook is, standing awkwardly in the corner of the dance studio while everyone else stretches and messes around. It’s times like this when Jungkook curses his inability to hold a proper conversation with anyone other than Hyjun, Yugyeom or an interviewer. He doesn’t have natural charisma, or the ability to keep a chat going even when it’s dying out. He’s the one that usually extinguishes the flame after all.

It’s as he watches everyone joking and laughing, that Jungkook truly feels like an outsider for the first time since he’s arrived. Everyone had been so accommodating and inclusive that Jungkook had forgotten that he doesn’t belong here. Jimin’s exuberant welcome, Yoongi’s sincere interest and his midnight meeting with Taehyung had hit him over the head with a bat and given him temporary amnesia to his situation.

He’s the outcast, the intruder, unnecessary. He forgot that they have already known each other for years. They’ve practiced, performed and lived with each other for longer than Jungkook has even been an Idol. They’ve shaped each other into the people they are today, their current personalities a result of their time together. How can he compete with that? He, who has nothing else to bring to the group than his terrible reputation, shitty mental health and a list of daddy issues almost a mile long.

They seemed perfect together; a well-oiled machine built to the highest standard. Jungkook would just mess it all up, be the minor adjustment that breaks the whole thing, getting it tossed in the scrap heap while the owner finds a replacement.

The guilt hits Jungkook all at once because sure, this whole plan has changed his life but he hadn’t realised until now that it’s changed all of theirs aswell. He’d been so caught up in his own issues that he hadn’t even stopped to consider how difficult this must be for everyone else. Jungkook, after all, had six friendly faces to help him. The others, however, did not. They got an unsociable, selfish loner who’s only experience with working in a group was at therapy (which Jungkook promptly quit after realising it involved talking to countless strangers about his past, leaving him open to so much judgement).

Jungkook is so deep in his revelation, he doesn’t even realise that everyone else has long stopped warming up and are instead looking at him, waiting. When someone says his name – Jungkook can’t be certain who exactly, it only registered as a distant whisper as it attempted to compete with his walls of thoughts – he blinks his eyes and focuses on a random figure sharply in surprise. Once his vision clears, he sees that he chose Yoongi, who is staring back with rivalling intensity.

“Oh-um-sorry, what did you say?” Jungkook asks, breaking the intimidating eye contact to instead look at the floor.

“We were just saying that we were going to recap a few of our songs. Obviously, you won’t know any of the choreography, but it’d be beneficial for you to watch us and try get the gist of them, yeah?” Hoseok says with a bright smile, tilting his head slightly.

“That makes sense, where should I sit?” Jungkook replies, still staring at the floor, eyes darting from scuff mark to scuff mark.

“Just sit in front of the mirror, you’ll get a decent view and won’t be too close. Wouldn’t want you to get hurt.” Namjoon says, Taehyung mumbling something that sounds like “You’re one to talk,” under his breath. “It was one time guys, one time!”

“Five times.” Everyone says in synchrony.

“It was five times guys, five times!” Namjoon repeats, sounding less confident and pouting slightly.

Jungkook swiftly walks to the mirror and takes a seat, trying to make sure the focus doesn’t switch to him. Upon realising that Jungkook is seated, everyone gets into what he assumes is their opening positions while Hoseok presses a button on a record player.

Music begins to play, an upbeat tune with a strong beat and vocals. Jungkook can’t quite distinguish who is saying the opening lines, but his head jerks the minute he hears Taehyung start singing because his voice is so low oh my god. He knew Taehyung had a lower register but this is insane, and he can’t help but shiver as the deep vocals fill the room.

Jungkook watches, entranced, as his new group perform their song. He feels stupid honestly, for being so surprised. Of course they’d be talented, they wouldn’t be rising to the top of the industry if they weren’t. Jungkook had expected them to be good, but he didn’t expect them to be this good.

He can’t tell exactly who’s singing and when, but he can tell that this group haven’t gained their success through any other means than pure talent. And it isn’t just their vocals that are amazing, Jungkook thinks as he tracks their movements – fluid and precise – as they perform the choreography. He can tell some are more inexperienced than others, but the dance is clearly difficult and he is impressed at the synchrony the six display. They’re so in time with each other, like they’re all connected and programmed to move. But it isn’t mechanical in any way, shape or form – it is passion.

Jungkook can’t think of a single other time he’s seen someone put their heart in to their performance like this. It’s so incredible, that Jungkook doesn’t even realise he’s clapping until he’s standing up and blinking rapidly to try hold back loose tears.

“That was incredible,” Jungkook starts, emotion overpowering his usual shyness. “You’re all so talented.”

He doesn’t know what else to say, doesn’t feel anything he says could ever really get across how much they had impacted him. So he stays silent and settles for looking at them and smiling. A voice somewhere deep inside his brain, that sounds very familiar, tells Jungkook he “looks like a fucking sissy”, but he drowns it out by looping the chorus melody of the previously performed song and keeps smiling.

His smile falters shortly after though, when Jungkook realises everyone (bar Jimin) is staring, with wide eyes and one or two with unhinged jaws. As fast as he can possibly manage, Jungkook clamps his mouth shut into a straight line and turns away.

It takes two minutes for someone to speak.

“Thank you, Jungkook. It means a lot to have someone like you say something like that.”

Someone like you.

He knew it was too good to be true, knew it was going to happen sooner or later. The phrase repeats in Jungkook’s head, replacing the chorus previously occupying it.

Someone like you.

He was a fool to think it would be any different. That they’d think any different of him.

Someone like you.

There was no inflection in his tone when he said it, but it’s obvious what he meant.

Someone like you.

Someone famous for being an awful human being. Someone known industry-wide for being such an asshole that people ask to switch seats at awards ceremonies. Someone so-

“-talented. To know that someone on your level, who’s so successful and gifted, liked our performance that much. It’s really an honour.” Seokjin continues, and Jungkook feels like the whole universe has shifted off kilter.

They respect him?

Of everything Jungkook expected Seokjin to mean, that was most certainly not it.

Jungkook’s about to ask why on earth they hold him in such high esteem? when the door to the room opens and Sejin walks in. Jungkook only recognises him because Hyjun had shown him a photo of the man. He’d left it up to Jungkook to decide whether or not to research his future groupmates, but drew the line at their Manager apparently.

“Oh, Sejin. Is there something wrong?” Namjoon says, stepping forward and furrowing his brows. Sejin raises his hand and waves it in a blasé fashion, before speaking.

“There’s no problem. I just came to check in and see how everything was going,” he says, briefly glancing at everyone before his eyes come to rest on Jungkook. “Ah, Jungkook. I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of meeting yet. I’m Sejin, I’m the manager of BTS.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Sir.” Jungkook says, concentrating fully so as not to stutter or mess up the simple greeting.

“No need to call me Sir, god knows no one else here does,” Sejin says, coughing something out sounding suspiciously like ‘disrespectful brats’. “Sejin will do just fine. How are you getting on? Settling in okay?”

“Oh, yeah, everything’s been fine. Great, really. Everyone’s been very welcoming. Super nice, um…” Jungkook trails off, cheeks tinting pink in embarrassment.

“Well, I would certainly hope so,” Sejin replies, shooting everyone a stern look which Jungkook misses, as he stares at the floor yet again. He thinks he’ll have every single indent or imperfection memorised by the end of the day at this rate. “I’m happy everything’s going smoothly for you, however that isn’t the sole reason I came to visit.”

Jungkook snaps his head up to stare at Sejin (Jungkook thinks he’ll have whiplash by the end of the day aswell) and sees that everyone else seems to be just as curious as he is. The other six are looking at their manager in confusion and anticipation, which rules out Jungkook’s fleeting thought of “Maybe they already know?”

“Since Jungkook is joining you all, I thought it would be best to pick a song to rehearse for his debut.”

And this time Jungkook is sure he hears someone mumble “possible debut” under their breath, he swears on his life. Of course he has no clue what they mean by that though, his debut was already confirmed. Right? There were negotiations and an agreement was reached, at least that’s what Hyjun told him. Jungkook isn’t given any more time to ponder the phrase though, as Sejin continues speaking.

“I was looking through your previous music and trying to find a way to slot Jungkook in, but I’ve come to the conclusion that that isn’t our best option.”

“What do you mean? If we don’t use our current stuff, what else can we use? We can’t exactly use another group’s music for his debut performance, right?”

“Of course not. I was going to suggest we use a new song.”

“Use a new song?”

“We don’t have any new pieces though?”

“Namjoon.” Sejin says while turning to face the leader, before giving a hand motion instructing Namjoon to explain.

“There is a song I worked on a while ago. I wasn’t sure what it would be used for, and it didn’t fit with our previous concept so I never brought it up because I didn’t think it was going to be used.” Namjoon clarifies, before addressing Sejin. “You’re talking about Fake Love, correct?”

“You are. I think it’s the perfect song for the seven of you.”

And Jungkook feels something in his stomach, something foreign, something other than the usual dread and anxiety that makes its home there.

He feels excitement.

‘Fake Love, huh?’ Jungkook thinks. ‘Interesting name.’

It wouldn’t be until a month later that Jungkook would realise exactly how apt that title was for his situation, when Sejin’s “I think it’s the perfect song for the seven of you.” is ringing in his head.

Training isn’t easy; Jungkook knows that from first hand experience. He’s spent the last 6 years of his life doing it almost daily after all. He’s experienced more injuries in that period than most people will in a lifetime, and still feels phantom twinges to this day. Most people would assume Jungkook would hate practice. It’s just a hurdle to performing after all, having to dance and lip-sync in a mirror all day to learn and perfect a song.

But Jungkook loves practice.

Loves the satisfying burn in the back of his throat when he dances for too long. Loves the gratifying ache of his muscles when he wakes up the day after an extra-intense practice. Loves the extreme rise and fall of his chest when holding the final move of his choreo, restraining himself from relaxing until the last beat echoes.

Jungkook loves practice.

He’s always been a perfectionist, and training is no exemption. He’s already done the song seven times in a row? He does it an eighth time for luck. It’s already 5:15pm and arranged practice ended quarter of an hour ago? May as well work on till 6. There’s a tricky part of the routine that he keeps getting wrong? He repeats the correct move sixteen times over (he read somewhere that it takes sixteen repetitions of something to break a bad habit, which upon looking back Jungkook thinks was probably a load of bull, though he continues to do it anyway).

Jungkook loves his practice.

The type of practice that leaves him with bruised kneecaps and blistered feet. The type that pushes him to his limits; physically and mentally; until he’s left panting on the floor. The type that he can control – the duration and the contents and the breaks (or lack of).

Jungkook loves practicing alone.

So, practising with six others is a learning curve for Jungkook.

Because they don’t do things his way.

They have set hours which they never exceed. They have scheduled breaks every hour or so. They call for a time out when someone needs a short rest or to sit for a moment or two. They have rules. Rules that don’t allow for Jungkook’s kind of practice. Ones that prevent his endless dancing, exhaustion and marks.

At first he’s annoyed; his routine of six years is being broken and no one but him seems to care. But as the time ticks on, he finds his earlier annoyance seeping away, unlike the tension still present in his body.

The Fake Love choreo is… intimate to say the least.

Sure, it starts off fine, everyone in a line and running outwards, staggered to alter the single file into diagonal positioning. It’s after that however, that it changes. Jungkook’s part requires him to dash to stage left and collapse onto his knees. That’s fine, nothing wrong with that. Just some meaningful movement.

But then he has to be pulled up.

By Taehyung.

Back to back.

When the choreographer demonstrated that section earlier, Taehyung’s handsome face was twisted into a grimace which Jungkook couldn’t help but mimic. A move like that was going to require complete synchronisation and trust; neither of which were achievable from two boys who only met a week ago.  

But Jungkook is nothing if not professional, and so he tries. And so does Taehyung. And after half an hour of failed attempts, stumbles and falls – they almost get it.

They are so, so close!

But Jungkook’s foot slips and he is once again falling, closing his eyes and bracing for impact. Impact which never comes.

Instead of hitting the hard floor, Jungkook is suspended in mid-air, held by a firm grasp curled around his waist. And there he stays for a good thirty seconds, until someone coughs and the grip loosens, letting Jungkook find his footing before disappearing completely.

When Jungkook finally looks at his partner, Taehyung is walking away and mumbling something about ‘going to get some water’ despite having a full bottle sitting by the mirror. When he turns to face the rest of the group, he finds they are watching the boy walk away as well, varying expressions on their faces.

Namjoon has a small smile on his face, only slightly showing his dimples. Seokjin and Hoseok also seem to be smiling, albeit smugly. Yoongi looks slightly troubled, eyebrows furrowed and lips downturned. But none of those expressions could compare to Jimin’s; whose face radiates complete disgust. His upper lip upturned with bared teeth and gums, brows slanted inward and eyes almost glaring, a stark contrast to his usual crinkle eyed, wide smiled appearance.

However, the look is only visible for a few seconds, as Jimin quickly moulds his face into it’s usual resting position.

And Jungkook is confused.

There’re very few reasons he can think of as to why Jimin reacted so negatively.

Maybe he was annoyed at Taehyung for leaving so abruptly? No, that wouldn’t make sense. Jimin and Taehyung are thick as thieves, it doesn’t take a genius to see that. Just one week with the group was more than long enough for Jungkook to understand that Taehyung is to Jimin what Yugyeom is to Jungkook; their platonic soulmates.

Or perhaps, not so platonic soulmates? Maybe Jimin has a crush on Taehyung and was jealous that he held Jungkook so intimately? No, that’s even more ridiculous than the first idea. Why on earth would Jimin be jealous of someone like Jungkook? When Jimin is practically perfect in every way: perfect smile, perfect body, perfect personality.

But what else could it be?

Jungkook wracks his brain, putting it through its paces and trying to come up with a viable reason, but none comes.

So he resolves to forget about the incident. Maybe Jimin’s expression was nothing to do with what happened between himself and Taehyung at all. He was probably thinking about something else. Yeah, that must be it.

And Jungkook files the memory in the back of his head, not knowing it would be a vital puzzle piece in a few weeks time.

When Taehyung returns, with water on his shirt and face but no cup in hand, practice starts again. It’s a unanimous decision to leave Jungkook and Taehyung’s section for the day and move on to the rest of the choreo, causing both boys to breathe out sighs of relief.

Everything goes smoothly for the rest of practice and Jungkook even manages to joke around with Seokjin, exchanging silly faces with the eldest during serious moments of the song, causing both of them to burst into laughter and the song to be restarted for the tenth time, Seokjin! It’s not funny anymore!

Practice is different.

When Jungkook tries to work through the breaks, Hoseok drags him to his water bottle and sits beside him, holding his hand for the full fifteen minutes to keep him resting. When Jungkook messes up his footwork and trips, Namjoon reassures him, saying his record is sixteen falls in one rehearsal while Jimin fetches the first aid kit and lightly scolds Jungkook for making him worry so much. When Jungkook tries to stay when everyone’s leaving, promising he’ll ‘only be half an hour, max’, Yoongi clasps on to Jungkook’s wrist and gently pulls him out of the studio, saying ‘that excuse won’t work on him’ and that he’s ‘heard it enough times from Jimin’ to know that thirty minutes really means three hours. When Jungkook forgets his water bottle, Seokjin offers to go get it and runs to the building and back in record time, smiling while panting and holding the bottle like Simba from that scene in the Lion King.

And when Jungkook goes to get into his bed that night, back aching from so many falls, there’s a heating pad resting atop his pillow. He smiles while pressing it to his back, sighing in relief a while later at the soothing warmth. He assumes it was Seokjin who left it there, and resolves to thank him in the morning (though when he does, he’s met with a confused look from Seokjin and the sound of a glass smashing on the floor, Seokjin promptly yelling at the cause of the mess: Taehyung).

Jungkook falls asleep, warm and content and dreams of the seven of them, performing onstage.

Together.

Yeah, they don’t do things his way, but Jungkook finds he doesn’t really mind. Jungkook loves his practice, but he thinks he might like group practice even more.

FILE: Jungkook’s Introduction: Uncut Version [to be edited by the third of next month]

[Video opens with all seven boys in shot, standing in a row. The line-up from left to right is Taehyung, Yoongi, Seokjin, Jungkook, Namjoon, Jimin and Hoseok. All seven are smiling at the camera and wearing matching t-shirts with their birth year and stage name printed on the back, only visible because of the reflection of the mirror behind them. Namjoon is the first to speak.]

Namjoon: [smiling] Hi ARMY, we have an announcement for you all. We’re very excited to finally share the news that we have a new member!

Jimin: [exasperated] No idea who that could possibly be, considering he’s standing right in the middle of us Namjoon… [whispering] I told you we should have had him stand out of shot, way to blow the surprise before it’s even announced.

[Hoseok jabs Jimin in the side, shutting him up, while maintaining his bright smile. Jimin pouts while rubbing the area Hoseok’s elbow had made contact with moments prior. Yoongi sighs loudly and it echoes around the room. Seokjin glares at him, while Taehyung’s smile slowly begins to turn into a grimace. Jungkook stands silently, still smiling at the camera, though his eyes dart from side to side to look at his surrounding group members.]

Namjoon: It’s an honour to introduce the newest member of BTS; Jeon Jungkook!

[Everyone, except for Jungkook, begins to clap, with Seokjin going as far as to kneel and open his arms wide, showcasing the blushing Jungkook. Jimin bounds over to him, wrapping him in a hug, causing Yoongi to attempt to pull him off.]

Yoongi: [quietly, to Jimin] We’re on camera, millions of people are going to see you being an idiot, knock it off!

Jimin: [whining] But Yoongiiiiiii~~~

Yoongi: [smacking Jimin upside the head] Don’t ‘but Yoongi’ me!

[Jimin and Yoongi continue to bicker, while Taehyung stares lifelessly into the camera. Hoseok, now standing beside Namjoon, whispers something inaudibly, causing Namjoon to clear his throat.]

Namjoon: Now, Jungkook. Anything you’d like to say to your new family?

Jungkook: [shyly] It’s nice to finally let you all know about my joining. I hope everyone is understanding and keeps an open mind, I understand you are all used to your BTS and that I’m a pretty major change to things. I don’t want to upset anything, and I hope you can all trust me when I say that it will never be my intention to change the group in any way. Think of me as just a new extension to an already great house; I won’t alter anything that was there before, but instead bring something new on top of what was already there!

Hoseok: [wiping fake tears] That was beautiful.

Seokjin: [proud] We’ve raised him well.

Taehyung: [mumbling] He’s nineteen and you’ve known him for two weeks…

Seokjin: [looking offended at first, then sympathetic] Awh Taehyung, just because you aren’t the baby of the group anymore doesn’t mean we don’t love you too!

[Seokjin glomps Taehyung in a big hug, with Hoseok and Jimin joining in almost immediately after. Namjoon joins too, pulling Yoongi with him. The hug cluster opens up and a small hand from the centre reaches out, grabbing Jungkook's t-shirt and yanking him into the group before closing again. The seven continue to hug for a full minute before splitting back into their previous formation.]

Hoseok: [beaming] Please treat Jungkookie well, he means a lot to us and we’d be really sad if we saw people being unkind to him!

Yoongi: [looking at Jungkook, then at the camera resolutely] Yeah, you’ll have all of us to answer to if we see any negative talk about Kook here.

Taehyung: [snickering] You say that as if you aren’t five foot eight and a literal cat; all hiss no scratch.

Yoongi: Just because you’re taller than me doesn’t mean I can’t kick your ass, you brat!

Namjoon: Language, Yoongi! [talking to someone off camera] You can cut that part out, right?

Editor: Sure thing.

Namjoon: [sighing] Thanks.

[Seokjin grabs Yoongi by the nape of his neck and pulls him to stand to his left, moving to stand in between the two. Jungkook muffles his laughter behind his hand as he watches the three. Jimin moves to stand beside Jungkook, and wraps an arm around his waist.]

Jimin: [pinching Jungkook’s cheeks] How could anyone not love Kookie? Just look at him, he’s adorable!

[Jungkook flushes, trying to pull his face out of Jimin’s grasp. Everyone else laughs at the pair.]

Namjoon: [smiling serenely] We’ve been working on a new song including Jungkook, which we’re super excited to show you all. It’s the beginning of a new era for us, a brighter one, and we can’t wait to share it with our ARMY. Especially Jungkook.

Jimin: [excited] You’ll love the choreography, Jungkook’s abs are actually insan-

Taehyung: [cutting Jimin off] Jimin! Weren’t you just talking about spoiling things earlier?

Jimin: [pouting] But his muscles…

Taehyung: [eyes glinting dangerously] Talk about his body one more time.

Jimin: [smirking] Jungkook has a hotter body than you.

[Taehyung sprints over to where Jimin was standing, but Jimin is already running away from him. Taehyung proceeds to chase him out of the room. Seokjin and Hoseok stare after the pair in shock and Jungkook looks deeply concerned over Jimin’s welfare, while Yoongi just shakes his head and pinches his nose.]

Yoongi: [exasperated] I didn’t ask for this. I just wanted to be a rapper, I didn’t want to be an Idol. I should be performing solo right now, not dealing with children. Why did I agree to be in a band?

[Yoongi continues to mutter, growing quieter and quieter until his speech is unintelligible. Namjoon looks at the chaos around him, and then turns to look off camera once again.]

Namjoon: [pleadingly] Can you-

Editor: Consider it already cut.

Namjoon: [relieved] We don’t pay you enough.

[A loud cry from Jimin is heard from out of shot.]

Editor: [mumbling] You really don’t.

[VIDEO ENDS]

Fate is a funny thing.

If someone had asked Jungkook one month ago if he thought he’d ever belong, he’d have said ‘never’ with no hesitation whatever. He would have laughed, slightly hysterically, at the sheer ludicrousness of the notion of acceptance. Having a place to call home, people to call brothers, a life to call fulfilled, would never be in the cards for Jungkook. He’d long since accepted that fact.

So imagine the shock that ripples through Jungkook’s being at the realisation – two weeks into his stay in Seoul – that he has all of that now.

He’s found a home in the spacious, warmly decorated and visibly lived in apartment of 1306. He’s found his brothers in the boys that reside in said apartment; who spend their days making him feel special, like a deity fit for worship. He’s found fulfilment in his life – the same life as before, but with slightly more colour to it, slightly more zest, slightly more love.

He’s found everything he’s ever wanted; his wildest dreams have come true and he’s living the life of his fantasies.

But the thing is, Jungkook is scared. The most scared he’s ever been in his 19 years on this Earth. More scared than when alone with his father over a decade ago. More scared than when he first performed live. More scared than when he discovered he was being sent to join BTS. No, Jungkook isn’t scared; he’s terrified.

Because now he has more to lose.

He’d always thought that having less was harder, thought that when you have less you have more to lose. Thought every loss is felt more keenly when you don’t have a lot because the value placed on what you lost was higher; losing one thing out of two is statistically a larger loss than one out of eight after all.

But what about when the loss isn’t just one out of eight, but six, maybe even seven.

Before, Jungkook only had two people; Hyjun and Yugyeom. Now he has eight, and losing one member will mean losing the other five, potentially Hyjun aswell.

Now he thinks about it, maybe he’d lose Yugyeom too. Yugyeom has put up with a lot from Jungkook these past years, what if this mess is his breaking point?

Then Jungkook would have no one.

He can’t go back to being alone again.

Sure, Jungkook likes solitude. He likes being by himself sometimes, no one else for company, but only when it’s self-imposed. When it’s controlled. When Jungkook chooses to. When he knows he’ll have someone to go back to when his bout of seclusion ends. Not when that solitude cannot end, because he doesn’t have anyone to break it.

When there’s no one coming with a rope ladder to help him escape the hole he’s dug and jumped in to. When there’s no knight in shining armour, coming to kiss Jungkook awake from his deep sleep. When there’s no one at all.

And Jungkook couldn’t handle that.

Because he wouldn’t be able to rescue himself. He isn’t strong enough to overcome his demons and be his own hero. Jungkook isn’t a hero. That prestigious role is reserved for people like Hyjun – who rescued him as a child, in his time of need – or Yugyeom – who was staunch in his support and solid in his friendship with Jungkook in spite of every other Idol’s opinions – or even BTS – who accepted him as one of their own despite the countless rumours they’d likely heard. They’re the true heroes, not Jungkook. Jungkook who can barely get out of bed some days, can barely hold eye contact with most people, can barely help anyone else never mind himself.

He doesn’t think he could take another loss.

Jungkook’s used to losing; he’d lost his reputation long ago, lost his biological family even further back and lost himself somewhere along the way.

Jungkook deals with losses well. Not exactly healthily, but well. He can usually get over them pretty quickly; when you’re raised with little permanency you come to expect that everything will leave sooner or later, it just so happens Hyjun and Yugyeom have stuck around for slightly longer than normal.

So Jungkook isn’t prepared to lose them anymore.

And for some reason, he isn’t prepared to lose everyone else either; not Jimin or Seokjin or Yoongi, not even Taehyung who has spent Jungkook’s full stay slightly distant and mostly broody.

Jungkook can’t lose them.

And boy, does that thought hit him hard at the most inopportune of times – while watching a movie with the rest of the group surrounding him, Jimin blocking the doorway with his body sprawled in front of it.

He’s been slightly on edge all day, not for any particular reason, it’s just one of those days. One of those days where his anxiety bubbles under the surface, nerves thrumming under his skin and mind running on overdrive.

And sitting on that couch, sandwiched in between Hoseok and Seokjin, is where Jungkook has his epiphany – and subsequent meltdown.

He realises it’s coming when he feels his breathing begin to shallow, fingers trembling and hearing muting slightly. When he tries to focus on the television but registers blobs of red and gold rather than Iron Man’s suit. When he tries to say that he’s going to the toilet, but no words are audible, his mouth gaping open like a poor imitation of a goldfish instead.

And the only thing that registers in his mind is that he needs to get out.

And Jungkook, well he tries, but with six people blocking his path to the only exit in the room, he’s pretty much doomed from the start. And so, when he trips over Namjoon’s legs, it comes as a surprise to everyone bar Jungkook himself.

“Woah, Jungkook! Careful!” Jimin says, springing up from the floor and catching him just before he hits the floor. “You gave me, and probably everyone else, a fright there. Namjoon’s usually the clumsy one, not you.”

Jimin laughs, and so does everyone else, until it becomes clear that there’s something seriously wrong with Jungkook.

“Jungkook, you okay?” Hoseok says, looking worriedly from the couch. His frown deepens when he receives no response.

Yoongi begins to walk forward slowly, as if approaching a wild animal ready to attack. He raises his hands as if surrendering, while continuing to edge forward.

“Jungkook, focus on my voice, okay?” Yoongi soothes. “Okay, just listen to me. You’re okay, you aren’t in danger, no one’s going to hurt you.”

“Yoongi, what on earth are you doing?” Taehyung says, looking well and truly confounded.

“Shh, not right now, Taehyung.” Yoongi says sharply, before adopting his previous gentle voice again. “Jungkook, you’re in the apartment. I’m Yoongi, and everyone else is here too. Jimin and Seokjin and-“

“No, no, no…” Jungkook mutters frantically, volume increasing in a crescendo.

“Jungkook-“ Yoongi starts.

“No!” Jungkook yells, stumbling to his feet and staggering hurriedly out of the room, the sound of the bathroom door slamming shut echoing down the hall half a minute later.

Everyone left in the living room stares after him in shock, five in confusion and one in worry.

“What the fuck was that, Yoongi?” Taehyung whips around to face Yoongi, who glares at the younger.

“You really need to watch your tongue, you know that? One day that mouth is gonna get you in big trouble, and half-hearted apologies won’t fix it.” Yoongi quips scathingly, before walking out of the room, turning left and heading in the direction of the bathroom.

Taehyung bites his lower lip, arms crossed and nails digging into his biceps, and watches him leave.

“Jungkook, will you let me in?” Yoongi asks, chapping lightly on the wooden door separating him and Jungkook. When he receives no reply, he just shakes his head and slides down the door until he’s sitting slouched against the frame. “I know an impending panic attack when I see one, Jeon Jungkook. Why didn’t you tell any of us you had anxiety and panic disorder?”

Jungkook says something, but the door muffles the words and Yoongi can only make out unintelligible sounds by the time his reply reaches him.

“I can’t hear what you’re saying, and I definitely can’t help from out here. Please, open the door. Let me in, Jungkook.” Yoongi pleads and to his surprise, he hears a lock click and suddenly the door disappears from behind him, resulting in him falling backwards with all the grace of a reversing dump truck.

He would wallow in his embarrassment, but the sight of Jungkook trembling in the corner, body heaving and audibly wheezing reminds him that there are more important matters at hand.

“Jungkook, hey, listen to me, okay. I need you to try breathe for me, okay? I know it’s hard but try, I’ll help. Okay, breathe in… and out. And in… and out.” Yoongi says, making exaggerated breathing movements.

“I- I ca-n’t” Jungkook cries, breathe hitching.

“Yes, you can. You can do this, Jungkook. Just breathe, everything’s going to be just fine. You’re safe.” Yoongi calms. “Are you okay with touch like this? I know some people aren’t, I just want to make sure I don’t make things worse.”

Jungkook jerks his head in an up-and-down motion, that just barely resembles a nod, but is confirmation enough for Yoongi who practically pulls the younger into his arms, running his hands down and up his back while continuing to ask him to breathe, Jungkook, just like that.

An indeterminate time later, Yoongi feels Jungkook’s shaking begin to slow, reducing to slight tremors, and can feel the latter gasping large inhalations of breath against his shoulder.

“There we go, that’s better, isn’t it?” Yoongi soothes, carding his fingers through Jungkook’s honey brown strands of hair. “Do you feel well enough to answer some questions?”

“I suppose…” Jungkook sighs, and slowly lifts his head from where it was resting on Yoongi to look at him. “Ask away, I guess.”

“Why didn’t you tell us you have anxiety?” Yoongi says, not holding back.

Jungkook flinches, and sighs again before responding.

“I didn’t think it was necessary to. I thought I could control it, keep it under wraps while I got to know you all.”

And Yoongi hears it for what it really means; that Jungkook doesn’t trust them.

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, they’ve only known each other for two weeks after all, it’s hard to build up such immense trust in such a short period of time. Especially when one of the two is following a poorly concocted scheme to fulfil a second-hand vendetta.

But somewhere along the way, the fake smiles and sickly-sweet words became real, and so did the care and love shown, and now, well now Yoongi truly cares about Jungkook. Somewhere down the line something changed; he no longer sees an arrogant, full-of-himself brat – though did he ever really see Jungkook in that light? – but a cute and shy teen, struggling with so much.

And Yoongi vows to do whatever he can from this point out to help.

“Jungkook?” Yoongi says, and Jungkook stares with widened doe eyes waiting for a continuation. “Do you want to keep this between me and you for now?”

“Seriously?” Jungkook gapes, staring in dumbfounded awe. “You- you’d do that for me?”

“Of course I would, if it’s what you want then I’m happy to keep it a secret. Only on one condition though.” Yoongi replies.

“Anything.” Jungkook says, resolute and determined.

“Whenever it gets bad, tell me. I want to help in any way I can.” Yoongi says firmly.

“You have yourself a deal.” Jungkook smiles, wide and with the shine of a million stars.

Yes, Yoongi thinks, for that smile he’d give him the world.

New Power Couple on the Rise?

Golden boy Jeon Jungkook spotted out and about with BTS rapper Min Yoongi. 

[PHOTO: Jungkook and Yoongi holding hands while walking down a street in Seoul. Both are wearing face masks, but are still easily identifiable.]

Hands and hearts intertwined.

[PHOTO: Jungkook and Yoongi at a food stall. Jungkook is pointing at some Tteokbokki while Yoongi stares at Jungkook.]

[PHOTO: Yoongi handing cash over to the owner of the stall. Jungkook is holding the Tteokbokki he was pointing at before in one hand, and pulling his face mask down with the other.]

[PHOTO: Jungkook is feeding Yoongi some of the Tteokbokki. Yoongi has his eyes shut and is leaning forward slightly.]

You know what they say; the way to the heart is through the stomach.

[PHOTO: Jungkook and Yoongi in a park. Yoongi is bending down and petting a cat while Jungkook takes a photo of the interaction.]

[PHOTO: Jungkook is holding out his phone towards Yoongi, pointing and laughing at him with the other hand. Yoongi is scowling, but still petting the cat.]

Jungkook’s new pet kitties?

As you can see from the above photos, it’s clear that our very own Golden Child has been getting quite close with Bangtan’s resident rapper. Both are infamous for their mutual introversion and rarely being spotted outside apart from awards ceremonies and publicity events, so to spend a full day in each other’s company in the streets of Seoul is definitely an indicator that there’s something more to their relationship.

Jeon (19) announced his sexuality last year through twitter of all things, coming out in defence of fellow Idol – Kim Yugyeom (19) of Got7.

[SCREENSHOT: A tweet from Jungkook’s twitter page.

Jeon Jungkook (@officialjeonjungkook) 24/06/15

So disappointed in the amount of abusive and discriminatory tweets being sent to @kimyugyeom97, especially from those whose account’s claim to be fans of mine. If you can’t support other gay artists, please don’t use my face in your profile picture from now on. #lovewins

178.7k replies      937k retweets       2.2m hearts ]

Now that’s coming out with a bang.

Jeon shocked the world with his blasé treatment of his sexuality, especially considering the conservative nature of his industry. His courageous act didn’t backfire on him, however, as he only seemed to gain popularity following his brave move. His follower count skyrocketed, gaining over 500 thousand followers in one night, and more importantly, gained him the respect of millions worldwide.

Min Yoongi (23) is also very open about his sexual orientation, though he revealed it in a vastly different way – at a concert.

[VIDEO: Yoongi at a concert in late 2014. He’s standing central on the stage, with the rest of the members spread around him. They’re performing a song, and when Yoongi starts to rap, he pulls out a rainbow flag and waves it around. The crowd’s screams only seem to increase upon the development.]

When asked about the incident at an interview the next day, Min confirmed his intentions.

[TRANSCRIPT:

Interviewer: So, Yoongi. I’m gonna take the plunge and ask about something that’s been on my mind, and probably everyone else’s, all day.

Yoongi: *Laughs* Go for it.

Interviewer: The rainbow flag.

Yoongi: Ah, I should’ve seen this coming.

Interviewer: *Laughs* I’m just gonna come out and ask you straight-

Yoongi: *Laughs* Nice wording.

Interviewer: *Laughs* Stop changing the subject!

Yoongi: *Still laughing* Sorry, sorry. Yes, it was confirming exactly what you think it was confirming. I’m gay. ]

Jeon and Min are both vocal members and advocates for the LGBT+ cause, is it such a stretch to imagine that their outing was a first date?

Idol sensation Jeon has previously labelled his ideal type as ‘someone who can see him for him’ and ‘not make him feel like he needs to change’ – quite fitting for our kind-hearted, caring rapper with a cool exterior, right?

Musical genius Min has also talked about his desired lover in the past aswell, describing them as ‘someone who will show him affection’ and ‘understand his love for music’ – very suitable for our angel-voiced singer who understands a passion for music better than anyone.

Their respective managements have both refused to comment on the pictures, but isn’t it a commonly accepted truth that silence is as good as a confirmation?

However, until the day comes that all will be revealed, I know I, and hundreds of others, will be sitting in my bed writing and reading fanfiction about my new favourite ship: Yoonkook.

[PHOTO: Jungkook and Yoongi sitting on a park bench, staring at each other and smiling.]

Written by Vera Booker

Upon finishing the article, Jimin slams his phone onto the bed and just barely manages to restrain himself from screaming in frustration.

He shouldn’t be so angry, he knows that. He knows the whole thing is his doing in the first place. He was the one who told Yoongi to act nice to Jeon, told him to treat him like a prince and make him feel like the only person in the world. But damn if it didn’t grate on his nerves.

Because he knows what Yoongi looks like when he’s faking, when he’s acting – and this isn’t it.

Yoongi is an awful actor; there’s a reason that he’s a rapper and not starring in k-dramas after all. But he’s not bad enough that someone he’d only met two weeks ago would realise. And that’s what Jimin was counting on, that Jeon would be naïve enough to fall into his trap, so Jimin could pull the rug out from under him in a few weeks’ time.

But Yoongi is starting to care.

It’s obvious to Jimin, who has always understood Yoongi better than anyone else. Yoongi likes Jungkook. Yoongi really likes Jungkook – it’s not fake anymore.

Jimin grits his teeth. What a traitor.

Yoongi knows full well what Jeon did to Taehyung, how much he broke Taehyung’s little brother’s heart, and yet he likes him anyway? Jimin has forgiven Yoongi for a lot of things, but this level of disloyalty will not be one of them.

He’s going to make sure Jeon gets what’s coming to him. And if Yoongi gets caught in the crossfire? Well, there are casualties in every war, right?

Sometimes sacrifices need to be made for the greater good.

And breaking Jeon? That’s the greatest good Jimin will ever achieve.

He won’t let anyone down again.

He’ll stand by Taehyung.

Like a real friend.

It’s halfway into his predebut stay in Seoul that Jungkook realises, despite living in apartment 1306 for two weeks, he’s only ever been in four rooms of it; the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom and his bedroom.  This discovery sparks a flame of curiosity within him, and he sets off on a journey to investigate his new home.

Now, Jungkook understands boundaries and personal space better than anyone, so he sets himself a few ground rules before starting his search.

Rule one: Don’t try enter anywhere that is locked.

If it’s locked, it’s very likely not for him to go prodding around in, and so it’s off-limits for now.

Rule two:  Don’t open any drawers or cabinets.

Only look at whatever is sitting out on display. If it’s hidden away somewhere, there must be a reason the person didn’t want it on show for just anyone to see.

Rule Three: Don’t, under any circumstances, enter anyone’s bedroom.

The last rule, but the most important. No entering anyone’s bedroom at all. Jungkook knows how exposed he’d feel if he found out someone had been snooping in his bedroom while he was out; they’re for personal things after all and he doesn’t think he could handle the guilt of knowing he’d invaded someone’s privacy in that way.

With the creation of these rules, Jungkook feels far less worried about accidently offending a fellow member, and starts his mission.

He soon discovers that there aren’t many rooms in the house for him to look in without breaking any of his rules. After ignoring all of the bedrooms (made evident by cute little signs with their stage names on them) and locked rooms, there’s actually only one room left for him to try.

He doesn’t remember seeing Taehyung’s name on any door, but assumes that his sign might have broken or fallen off, and so one of the locked rooms is likely his.

Twisting the knob slowly, he realizes that the door isn’t locked and pushes it open, stepping forward into the room. Jungkook’s first thought upon entering is that this room looks very personal and maybe he shouldn’t go any futher.

But, the devil on his shoulder whispers conspiratorially, it doesn’t break any of your rules.

And it’s right.

The room isn’t locked, contains drawers and cabinets (but Jungkook could easily disregard them), and doesn’t have a bed. It can’t possibly be a bedroom without a bed, it’s in the name.

Swallowing his guilt, pushing it deep down within himself, Jungkook walks further into the room until he’s standing right in the centre. And it feels so wrong, like he definitely shouldn’t be in here, like he’s breaking a rule but he isn’t.

Right?

Jungkook’s used to his mind playing tricks on him, trying to make him feel guilty, like a burden, like a terrible person constantly. He knows, deep down, that he isn’t any of those things, but they still plague him every moment of his life. So this feeling shouldn’t be anything new.

But it feels different.

Jungkook is also fairly smart. Especially so concerning matters of the mind. He’s spent the last decade of his life researching mental conditions; their effects and how they impact a person; so he knows that most of those thoughts are just his anxiety trying to pull the wool over his eyes, make him think he’s something he’s not, make him feel bad for hurting others when he isn’t.

But there’s just something about this time that leaves him unable to rationalise his actions. Because this time he does feel like he’s doing something wrong. Even though he isn’t. That’s what he keeps telling himself.

‘I’m not doing anything wrong. I set rules and this doesn’t encroach on any of them. This isn’t wrong.’

He’s not doing anything wrong.

He’s not doing anything wrong.

He’s not doing anything-

He catches sight of a framed photo in the middle of his mental battle. In an attempt to distract himself, he makes his way over to it and lifts it up, inspecting the contents of it closely.

It’s of Taehyung and a little boy. Both are grinning like Cheshire cats for the camera, and Taehyung is ruffling the younger’s hair, the boy raising a hand as if to try stop him. But they’re still smiling. Suddenly, Jungkook feels like he’s seeing something he was never meant to.

Maybe he is doing something wrong.

He goes to put the framed photo down, but is stopped halfway by a dangerous voice.

“What are you doing in my bedroom, Jeon?”

Jungkook’s first thought is Taehyung!

Jungkook’s second thought is Bedroom?!

And Jungkook’s third thought is Taehyung’s bedroom?!

He turns slowly - frame still in hand - to face the obviously angry man, and almost drops the photo at the sight he meets.

Now, Jungkook has seen Taehyung pretend to be angry many times. He’s seen him chase Jimin around the house after a prank gone wrong. He’s seen him throw a fake tantrum when Jin refuses to make him his preferred breakfast. He’s seen him pretend to be mad at Yoongi when he won’t defend him in an argument with someone.

But Jungkook has never seen Taehyung truly angry until now.

And honestly, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen anyone this angry in his life.

(Untrue, of course. He’s seen many people angrier at him than Taehyung in his lifetime – his father for one – but in this moment, he can’t seem to think of anything or anyone apart from him.)

“This is your bedroom?” Jungkook squeaks out. “But it doesn’t have a bed!”

Taehyung continues to stare intensely, though raises an eyebrow, because of his reply or the way he said it - Jungkook can’t tell.

“Bed broke a few weeks back. I’ve been sharing with Jimin until the new one comes.” Taehyung answers. “Care to tell me why the hell you’re snooping about in my room now?”

And Jungkook would be lying if he said that tone didn’t send a shiver wracking down his spine because damn, Taehyung can be scary.

“Okay- right- em, that’s the thing.” Jungkook stutters, unable to form complete sentences in his fear. “I had, um, rules! I had rules, I promise! And I didn’t mean to break them but then I found this room and it didn’t have a lock or a bed and I ignored the drawers, I swear!”

Taehyung still looks angry, but now looks thoroughly confused as well. His eyebrows furrow inward and his lips purse, seemingly attempting to decipher Jungkook’s unintelligible rambling.

“Right, I’m just gonna pretend I understood that. Still doesn’t explain why you’re in my room though.”

“I didn’t know it was your room! I thought it was just a random room, you didn’t have a sign on your door like everyone else and there was no bed. I didn’t mean to.”

“You’re saying it’s my fault that you came in my room when I wasn’t here because I didn’t put a sign on my door…” Taehyung replies, enunciating the final words deliberately and trying to contain a smirk.

“No! I wasn’t- of course it’s my fault! I just- I wanted to have a look about the apartment. I didn’t think this was your room, I had a bunch of rules so this exact scenario wouldn’t happen!” Jungkook sighs at the fallibility of his stupid rules. “Listen, my intentions weren’t harmful, I just wanted to look about. I swear that if I’d have known this was your room, I would never have entered.”

“Sure, and I’m supposed to believe that photo frame your holding didn’t clue you in that this room is private?”  Taehyung says incredulously, staring pointedly at the photo Jungkook forgot he was holding.

“I was just about to leave when you entered. I was putting it back and going to leave.” Jungkook swears.

“Sure.” Taehyung replies, evidently still not believing him. And honestly, Jungkook can’t really blame him. If he entered his apartment to find someone he’d known for all of three weeks apparently rummaging around his room, looking at all of his personal things, he’d be pretty angry and hurt as well. Seeing that his appealing isn’t making a difference, he decides to try a different tactic.

“Who’s the boy in this photo with you, anyway? You’ve never mentioned him before, and you look pretty close to-“

“That’s none of your business, Jeon! I can’t believe you have the audacity to ask who he is, especially after what you did.” Taehyung spits scathingly, glaring with the intensity of a thousand suns.

“What I did? I don’t remember ever meeting this boy, I swear I’d remember if I had.” Jungkook responds, confused.

“You really don’t remember, eh? Why am I not surprised, you’re Jeon Jungkook after all. Why would you remember every person you’ve ever hurt, right? There’d be no room left in your head to remember shitty lyrics to sing.” Taehyung snarls, looking even angrier than earlier to Jungkook’s utter incredulity.

“What are you talking about?” Jungkook asks. He’s not naïve; he’s always known Taehyung had something against him. But it was easy to gloss over when he had five others constantly caring for him, and even, ironically, Taehyung himself at times. But he’d never imagined it would be something like this.

Jungkook always wrote it off as Taehyung not trusting him because of the rumours surrounding him. He’s never blamed Taehyung. When there are hundreds of people who hate you opposed to very few that don’t, it’s easy to see why someone would pick the masses. Mob mentality, after all, is rife in the industry.

But apparently that wasn’t the reason at all.

“I was right, huh? You really don’t remember him. Allow me the pleasure of reminding you then, I’ll make sure you never forget again.” Taehyung seethes.

“Picture this; it’s four years ago - the 19th of September to be precise. It’s a sunny day in Busan, perfect for the debut concert of Jeon Jungkook, a new idol expected to make waves in the Industry. It’s not super busy as despite rumours of his talent, very few people cared enough to come and see for real, in case boy wonder was a flop, a colossal waste of money. A brother scrapes up enough money to take his younger brother to see him, after spending the last three months hearing the boy ramble on and on about his voice and dancing.”

“Tae-tae! We’re gonna see Jungkook! He’s gonna be super-duper amazing, right Tae-tae?”  A boy squeals excitedly to his older brother.

“Of course he is. He’s gonna be everything you ever dreamed of and better, kiddo.” The older brother replies, smiling at the youthful innocence displayed in the younger’s eyes.

“I can’t wait! He’s gonna be so good, and he’s gonna sing and he’s gonna be an angel!” The boy says, starry-eyed at the thought of his idol.

“An angel? How’d you work that one out?” The older asks, humouring the six year old’s ramblings.

“Cause he looks and sounds like one, silly!” The boy responds because his older brother is so stupid sometimes!

“Oh, of course, how did I not realise before! Maybe he is an angel, who came to sing and make people happy?” The older brother suggests, eliciting more shrieks from the younger.

“Yeah! Jungkook is a real life angel, you’re so smart Tae-tae!” The boy cries, hugging his brother tightly.

“And honestly, the older brother was pretty excited as well. After hearing so much about this amazing idol, he couldn’t help but anticipate seeing him in person too. So, they waited for him to show on stage and when he finally did, no one screamed louder in support than that little boy, finally seeing his idol in person. Then Jeon Jungkook started to perform. And the older brother was expecting him to be good, you have to be to get a shot at the industry after all, but he didn’t expect him to be that good.”

“Hi everyone! Thank you all so much for coming out here today to watch me, it means the world to me! I hope I don’t disappoint, and that you all enjoy yourselves!” Jungkook yells from the makeshift stage, grinning widely at the spectacular turn out. There weren’t tons of people, but far more than a debut stage would usually garner.

“He seems pretty genuine,” The older brother mutters from his place below, within the crowd. “Surprising.”

“I’ve kept you all waiting long enough, better get started, right? This is my debut song, Euphoria!” Jungkook says, and music begins to play from the speakers at either side of the stage. And he sings.

“Wow…” The older brother sighs, staring in awe at the boy on the stage while keeping a tight grip on his younger brother’s legs. “He’s amazing, didn’t expect a fifteen year old to be that good…”

“Right, Tae-tae! He’s so good!” His younger brother gushes from his place on his shoulders, clinging tightly.

“He is.” The elder says, still staring at the boy on stage, who has long since started to dance. Mesmerised, he doesn’t even realise he’s begun to sway along to the voice until his brother cries “Stop, I’m gonna fall!” from above.

“And suddenly, he wasn’t just there for his brother. He was there for himself. As he watched that boy on stage, dancing with the grace of a seasoned danseur and singing his heart out, he realised that he wanted to do that too. He realised that he wanted to be on that stage, bringing joy to so many people as well. He wanted to express himself through song, and have people understand and love him anyway. He wanted to be an Idol. And so, during the interval of the performance, he looked up the next audition and bookmarked the page, determined to sign up when he got home that day.”

“Tae-tae? What’re you doing?” The little boy asks, crawling onto his brother’s lap from where they were seated on the ground.

“Just looking up something, don’t worry. I’ll put my phone away when the show starts again.” The older brother replies, smiling.

“What’re you smiling at?” The boy questions, poking at his big brothers mouth with slightly pudgy fingers.

“You really, really like Jeon Jungkook, right?” The elder says, and upon seeing his brother bob his head up and down passionately, continues. “How would you feel if your big brother became like him? If he performed and sang on stage?”

“Tae-tae wants to be a singer?” The boy says, staring wide-eyed.

“An Idol, but yes.” Taehyung corrects.

“I would be your biggest fan, Tae-tae! You’d be my favourite!” The boy exclaims, determinedly hugging his brother.

“You’d love me more than Jungkook?” The elder asks, shocked.

“Of course I would! You’re the best, Tae-tae!” The boy declares, unaware of the weight of his words to his brother.

“They both enjoy their time there, and the little brother convinces his big brother to wait behind and try meet him. So they do. They wait until the majority of the crowd disperses, and make their way towards the back of the makeshift stage, just in time to see him walking by. His bodyguard’s walking by his side, and the little boy, in his excitement, runs over. The boy’s only six after all, who could blame a child for wanting to take advantage of their one chance to meet their Idol in person. Then it happens.”

“Jungkook!” The boy yells, breaking free from his brothers hold and running towards the Idol.

“Wait, get back here!” The older brother shouts, running to try catch him. He’s not quick enough though, and the boy is suddenly right in front of Jungkook and a man in all black, presumably a bodyguard. The older brother assumes the latter will stop.

They don’t.

“Wait, please! My brother’s there-“ The brother exclaims, but the two either don’t hear him, or ignore him completely, as they continue on their way.

“Minho!” He cries as Jungkook shoves his brother out of the way and continues walking rapidly, his bodyguard grasping his arm tightly. Jungkook doesn’t spare the boy a single glance – as if he hadn’t just pushed him to the ground, as if he never existed in the first place.

“Oh my god, Minho, are you okay?” The elder exclaims, rushing over to the crying boy and pulling him into his arms, letting the boy grasp his t-shirt.

“Hurts, Tae-tae!” The boy wails, clinging to his brother. The boy’s leg is bleeding heavily, cut up from the gravel, and so are his hands which he’d used to break the fall slightly.

“Shh, baby. You’ll be okay, alright? I’ll get you patched up and we can get some ice cream, does that sound good?” The older brother soothes, rocking the boy gently.

“Please, Tae-tae. Make it stop! It’s sore!” The boy continues to scream.

“Ice cream’s gonna help, Minnie. Trust me, it’ll make you feel so much better.” The elder calms and starts walking towards their house, only ten minutes’ walk from the venue.

“You promise, Tae-tae?” The boy sniffles, raising a fist to wipe at his eyes.

“I promise, Minnie. Tae-tae will make you feel better.” The older swears, cursing Jeon Jungkook’s existence, cursing the day his little brother first discovered the idol, cursing himself for buying tickets for this show. Because if he hadn’t, Minho wouldn’t be crying and hurt – only physically for the next few weeks, but the emotional scarring would last a lifetime.

“Tae-tae?” The boy asks.

“Hmm?” The older replies, still rocking him as they walk down the street, their house in view.

“When you become a sin- an Idol. Please don’t hurt anyone.” The boy implores, staring doe-eyed at his brother.

“I’ll never hurt anyone,” The older brother replies. “Ever.”

“His Idol trampled him as if the boy was trash beneath his feet, a piece of gum on the bottom of his shoes. Knocked him to the ground, left him with nothing but broken dreams and bleeding legs. And continued on his way, didn’t even acknowledge his pain filled screams for his brother. And then, completely forgot the incident ever happened, apparently. There’s your story, Jeon. The dirty past you refuse to dig up or admit, that you insist never happened. But it did, and I will never, ever forget it. Because that boy? That was my brother.” Taehyung finishes, less outwardly furious and more resigned, coldly judging.

 “I- Taehyung- let me explain, please-“ Jeon starts, but is promptly cut off.

“Explain what? There is nothing you could say that would ever justify your actions that day.” Taehyung interrupts, glaring.

“I don’t want to justify them. What happened was wrong and I apologise deeply.” Jeon finishes, remorse evident on his face and deep in his heart.

“I swea- wait, what?” Taehyung splutters, confused at the uncharacteristic acceptation of blame and apology from the mental picture of Jeon he’d had for the last four years. Four years of hatred doesn’t allow him to forgive so easily though. “You think this is funny, huh? You think a half-hearted apology is gonna make me magically love you like everyone else? You’re fucking delusional.”

“No- no, I don’t expect forgiveness. I just want to make sure you know I’m truly sorry for what happened. Please, let me explain my side of what happened. I don’t want you to think I’m trying to shift blame or not take accountability of my actions, I just want you to know why what happened, happened.” Jeon pleads.

And Taehyung has to deliberate for a few moments, because he doesn’t know if he wants to know what happened from Jeon’s point of view. He’s spent the last few years of his life building his career on spite - spite for Jeon and every other Idol of the like – and it was easy to. All he had to do was visualise his teary-eyed brother and his howls of pain and that was all the motivation he needed.

Before going into his audition for Big Hit? He thought of that day. Before accepting their offer to join the company? He thought of that day. Before meeting his fellow group members? He thought of that day. Before he performed live for the first time? He thought of that day.

When he found himself beginning to harbour some affection towards Jeon? He thought of that day.

If he hears Jeon’s side of the story, that incentive will be forever tainted. And what will he do then, when he doesn’t have that one-sided encounter to fuel him?

He glances back at Jeon, about to tell him he doesn’t care about his side of the story, when he catches sight of his imploring doe-eyes, so similar to his brother's from that day.

He goes to say no.

He says yes.

“Thank you.” Jeon sighs gratefully. “I remember that day. It was my debut performance after all, pretty hard to forget. I feel like I need to say something before I start explaining, otherwise it won’t make much sense.”

Taehyung nods, a silent cue for Jeon to continue.

“I have generalised anxiety disorder. I also have panic disorder. Because of these conditions, I experience heightened feelings of anxiety and frequent panic attacks.” Jeon states, clinical and detached, speaking the words as if from a second-hand perspective, not something he’s personally involved with.

Jeon pauses, seemingly unsure whether or not to continue, ultimately deciding to keep going.

“When I have a panic attack, my mind blocks out everything around me. Do you remember last week, when we were in the living room and I ran out-“

“Of course I do, Yoongi near enough bit my head off.” Taehyung grumbles.

“Sorry about that. That was because I was in the early stages of a panic attack. I staved it off until I got to the bathroom, Yoongi helped me and promised not to tell anyone. I don’t like telling people about them, makes me feel even weaker than I already am, but obviously sometimes these things have to come out. Like right now.” Jeon sighs, taking a brief pause before continuing. “They’re bad. When I get one, I feel like I’m going to die, I won’t lie.”

Taehyung gasps aloud, unable to contain his shock in the face of the information. He quickly shuts his mouth and motions for Jeon to continue.

“I can’t breathe – it’s like, like there’s all this oxygen around me and I’m still able to breathe, but my body won’t let me. And my vision goes all fuzzy and blurry, like I have cataracts or something, and I can’t focus or see anything. And I can’t hear, but I can? I can’t distinguish sounds but I can hear, and all I can hear is a mishmash of noises that are so, so loud. And there’s no danger around me, but there is. That’s what my mind tells me at least. And my body reacts in kind, and suddenly my chest is heaving and, and-“ Jeon’s explanation spirals into incessant rambling, and Taehyung has to physically restrain himself from offering comfort to him.

“Jeon? Jeon, listen to me. You need to calm down. Don’t work yourself up, just take a breather. Then you can continue, alright?” Taehyung says, and Jeon listens.

He stops talking, and focuses on his breathing, regulating it and controlling it before it gets out of hand. And Taehyung waits, with patience he didn’t know he possessed, until Jeon’s ready to talk again.

“Thank you. Again. You’re being very considerate considering the circumstances.” Jeon says.

“I just want to know what happened, put it to rest, you know?” Taehyung replies, trying to prompt Jeon into talking again through his reassurance.

“That day, four years ago – I had a panic attack after the concert. A bad one.”

“That was incredible! First concert and you’re already raking in hundreds! You’re a natural, kid, a natural. I tell you, you’re going to be the best damned Idol the world’s ever seen.” Hyjun raves.

“Ngh.” Jungkook replies, staring at nothing, chest rising rapidly.

“Jungkook?” Hyjun asks, looking worriedly at his surrogate son. “Jungkook, you okay? Is it an attack? One for yes, two for no.”

Jungkook jerks his head once, which is enough confirmation for Hyjun, who takes him by the arm and begins guiding him towards the car. Suddenly a man calls out for him, and Hyjun calls a bodyguard over, asking him to escort Jungkook to the car safely.

“I’m sorry, kiddo. I need to go sort something out with the event organisers, I’m so sorry. Jay here is going to take you to the car, okay? You’re gonna be just fine. Remember what the therapist told you, right?” Hyjun says, hurriedly walking back the way they came.

“Oi, kid. I’m Jay, gotta get you back to the car, kay?” The bodyguard – Jay – says, grabbing Jungkook’s arm with more force than necessary and dragging him towards the black Hyundai.

And all Jungkook can think is ‘in one two three four hold one two three four five six seven out one two three four five six seven eight’ repeatedly, his attack blocking out the rest of his senses and allowing him to be hauled by Jay to the car.

The next coherent thought he has is that Jay’s made him bump into a stand or something, and that he’s likely gonna have a bruise on his midriff tomorrow, but he’s too wrapped in his thoughts and panic to care.

The next thing he knows, he’s being pushed into the back seats of the car, the door being slammed shut behind him and he’s trapped for an indeterminate amount of time before Hyjun arrives and finds him – still in the depths of an attack – deserted.

“We agreed never to talk about that day again after that. It was a bad day, one that Hyjun wanted to erase from my memory. It really hindered my progress and set me back in my therapy sessions. I never- I would’ve never, ever hurt a child – especially your brother – intentionally. The journey from the stage to that car is a blur in my mind, I don’t and probably never would have remembered what happened that day if it weren’t for you. I’m so sorry that happened to your brother, and I’m even more sorry to find out that I played an integral part in it. If there’s any way, and I mean any way, I could possibly begin to make it up to both you and your brother – please let me know.” Jeon finishes, unshed tears of remorse sparkling in his brown eyes, threatening to spill down his cheeks at any moment.

And Taehyung was right.

He wishes he never let Jeon explain himself.

Because it’s at this point that Taehyung realises – he broke his promise.

He has hurt someone during his time as in idol.

And that someone is Jeon Jungkook.

“I- I understand. You didn’t mean to, right? It was all an accident, right? It wasn’t even your fault this whole time, right!” Taehyung yells, full of self-loathing and regret. He’d made Jungkook feel so horrible, made his hatred so evident this full time, when the events of four years ago weren’t even his fault!

“Taehyung, I-“ Jungkook starts, but Taehyung won’t let him. Won’t let him continue to apologise and remove any blame from Taehyung.

Taehyung who finally has his answers.

Taehyung who doesn’t want them anymore.

“No, don’t – please. I, you- you didn’t mean it. Didn’t realise what happened, it was all that bodyguard’s fault. And mine for not asking your side of things sooner. For being so cruel and cold to you for no reason.” Taehyung says remorsefully, cursing his previous treatment of Jungkook.

“Please, Taehyung. I understand how you’re feeling, but this isn’t your fault. It was all a misunderstanding. Of course you would assume I was just an arrogant teenager, too full of myself to step around a child, you didn’t know any better. Don’t blame yourself. You were just protecting your brother.” Jungkook pleads, and Taehyung smiles ruefully.

Because how didn’t he notice before? Even after the way Taehyung treated him, Jungkook only wants him to be happy. Because he’s a good person.

Not like Taehyung.

Taehyung who abandoned his brother in favour of his dream. Taehyung who took his parents offer of “You want to go try become a fucking Idol, fail and end up a deadbeat? Fine, but it won’t be as a Kim. You accept that offer, you’re no longer our son.” and left. Left his family and his brother and never looked back. Refused to look back. Because looking back would mean remembering all he lost, and it was hard enough thinking of his brother these past years.

So, he called him a random kid.

“Do you not remember how heartbroken that little boy was because of Jeon?”

“I’m not asking you to. I agree,  I think what he did to your bro-“ “Don’t! Don’t call him that, please…”

Minho was no longer Taehyung’s brother; he ceased to be from the moment Taehyung left and his parents removed him from the Kim family. He hasn’t seen him in three years, Minho probably wouldn’t recognise him after all this time. And Taehyung wouldn’t recognise him, because now he’s nine. No longer a six-year-old ankle-biter, but a nine-year-old son. His former parents’ only son.

All these years thinking of Minho as someone so distant from him, a stranger, yet it was so easy to call Minho his brother.

Because he was. And he still is, no matter how hard Taehyung tries to forget.

Minho will always be Taehyung’s brother.

And finally, Taehyung mourns his loss. The loss of his family, whom he loved so much and held so dear, and still does, even after all these years. He cries for the mother who used to tuck him in at night and sing him lullabies. He cries for his father who used to help him with his homework when it was too hard to complete on his own.

And most of all, he cries for his brother – the brother he let down.

And Jungkook offers him his shoulder, and to listen.

So Taehyung talks, and Jungkook listens.

Taehyung cries, and Jungkook comforts.

Taehyung apologises, and Jungkook accepts.

And Taehyung realises, somewhere along the way, he’s started thinking of Jeon as Jungkook.

But he finds he doesn’t mind it.

He’s always preferred Jungkook’s given name, anyway.

Jungkook isn’t a morning person. Even after six years of them - since his days as a mere trainee – he still hates early starts.

“Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty!”

So, when someone wakes him up at five in the morning, whacking him with a pillow and bouncing on his bed, he’s obviously not a happy bunny.

(Hoseok will later claim Jungkook growled - yes, growled – at him, and made several slashes at him with his ‘claws’ (“Hands, Hobi, those are called hands. Just because he sounds like a tiger doesn’t mean he is one.” “Coming from someone who didn’t experience it in person, he may aswell have been one!”). Something which Jungkook will vehemently deny, yet apologise internally for.

He does have awfully long nails after all.)

In Jungkook’s defence, though, it’s not just five in the morning. It’s five in the morning on a rest day.

It isn’t a day where dance practice is scheduled abnormally early, or vocal warm-ups are moved forward in the agenda. They have no schedule or rehearsals, and here he is, waking up even earlier than usual on the day he would usually be sleeping away to fuel himself up for the ensuing weeks of intense practice.

So, yeah, Jungkook feels his irritation is justified.

“We’re going to show you around Seoul!” is not a good enough excuse to wake a sleeping Jungkook, Hoseok finds, and promptly regrets excitedly volunteering to wake the newest member because he’ll be adorable, Joon! I might even get some cute photos!

(He did in fact get some cute photos, but after what happened following his cooing and picture-taking session, Hoseok is keeping them to himself. He’d rather not experience an angry Jungkook again; the scratch marks scattered on his arms are proof enough how bad an idea showing them to others would be.

He doesn’t delete them, but he does add a passcode to that particular album on his phone - just in case. If anyone ever happens to find it, they’ll just think it’s an album of adorable bunny rabbit photos - which it is, technically; just a human bunny rather than an animal.)

When Jungkook is more awake – and less bloodthirsty – he asks what exactly the group taking him around Seoul will entail.

“We’re gonna take you to all the best places and sights, obviously!” Jimin exclaims, grinning and pointing to Namjoon, who’s looking intensely at a map. “Joon is pretty bad with directions, but we let him hold the map anyway, for his peace of mind, you know?”

Suddenly, Taehyung leans over and begins whispering in Jungkook’s ear. “I have a map on my phone, just in case Joon rips it or something. It’s happened before: we were in Tokyo, walking along a street and suddenly we just hear this loud tearing sound, so we all turn to look at the only person carrying something made of paper, and there you have it. Joon’s standing there with one half of the map in his hands, the other half lost to the wind. It took us like three hours and dozens of conversations with locals consisting of “Hey, do you speak Korean?” “Nani?” “Never mind.” to get back to our hotel. We learnt our lesson; always have a back-up map, never rely solely on Joonie.”

They both start laughing; Jungkook at the mental image of a downhearted Namjoon, staring desolately at half a map in the middle of Tokyo, and Taehyung in reminiscence of the whole affair.

“What’s so funny?” Jimin asks, staring oddly at the pair, something flickering in his gaze and smile twitching ever so slightly.

“Taehyung was just telling me about the time in Tokyo, with the map?” Jungkook answers, unsure, and glances at Taehyung subtly to gauge his reaction. He’s staring at Jimin, a slight frown on his face.

“Yeah, just saying why we don’t trust Joon with the only map anymore.” Taehyung adds, still staring at his best friend.

Jimin opens his mouth, as if about to say something, but Namjoon’s indignant cry of “Hey!” halts any possible response. He shuts his mouth and slumps backwards slightly, folding into himself and looking at the table, while Taehyung continues to stare at him in confusion.

Jungkook thinks he sees Taehyung mouth “What’s going on with you?” to Jimin, but can’t be completely sure, so puts it to the back of his mind.

“So, a tour of Seoul, with BTS as my tour guides? It’s every fangirl’s dream come true, count me in.” Jungkook jokes, attempting to ease the tension that’s settled over the conversation, and succeeds.

“Aww, is Kookie one of our loyal fanboys? Why didn’t you say so in the first place, I’d be happy to sign your arm. Or maybe somewhere else?” Taehyung replies, punctuating his offer with an overexaggerated wink, before getting smacked in the head by Yoongi.

“Don’t be a creep.” Yoongi says, eliciting a pout from Taehyung, who’s now rubbing his head in mock pain.

“I was talking about his thighs, Yoon.” Taehyung claims, and Jimin’s head shoots up, his stare no longer fixated on the table but once again on his best friend. He squints slightly, tilting his head and flicking his gaze over to Jungkook briefly.

“Weren’t you the one who tried to beat me up for talking about his thighs the other week, Tae?” Jimin laughs, sounding forced.

“They’ve won me over, Ji. With how much you raved about them, it was only a matter of time before I became enchanted too. Guess we’ll just have to fight over them then, huh?” Taehyung says, scanning his friend while talking.

“May the best man win.” Jimin replies, eye twitching minutely, which Jungkook misses. “I’ll have you know, though, I don’t give up easily. Once I set my mind on something, I won’t stop until I get it.”

“Strong words from someone scared of butterflies.” Hoseok chimes in, noticing the strained exchange.

“You know why I don’t like butterflies, Hobi!” Jimin refutes, frowning. “Anyway, you’re one to talk, Mr ‘Scared of His Own Shadow’.”

The rest of breakfast was spent discussing everyone’s fears: bugs and ghosts for Seokjin, fireworks for Yoongi, elephants for Namjoon, butterflies and heights for Jimin, bees for Taehyung and practically everything for Hoseok (but especially snakes and roller coasters).

“What about you, Kook?” Yoongi asks, placing a hand over Jungkook’s.

“Uh- sorry, what about me?” Jungkook splutters, face tinging rose from the contact.

“What’re you scared of?” Jimin asks, leaning forward and steepling his fingers.

“Oh, right, what am I scared of? Well…” Jungkook stalls, unconsciously chewing on his hoodie string.

There’s lots of things Jungkook’s scared of, more than he can think of at once. There’s his father, of course. That man still holds one of the highest ranks in his list of fears, despite not being able to do anything to him anymore. He’s scared of being alone, scared of everyone leaving him and having no one left; solitary and doomed to an eternity of his own company. He’s scared of himself, sometimes. Scared of what he has the potential to do, scared of what he does do, what he doesn’t do. Scared of the power he holds over himself, the knowledge that he controls himself and all it would take is one decision made by himself to change – or take away - his life forever.

There’re many fears that Jungkook could say, but what comes out is none of the above.

“Microwaves.”

“Microwaves?”

“Yeah, microwaves.”

Stares. Then laughter. And Jungkook laughs too, because now that he says it out loud, it does sound fairly silly. A fear of microwaves. But they wouldn’t be laughing if they knew where that fear stemmed from, why it plagues him to this day.

It wasn’t the microwave that hurt him, it was his father. But his father hurt him because of the microwave, so Jungkook’s mind still blames the microwave. Jungkook’s father probably would have hurt him regardless, but it’s easier to use the microwave as an excuse, makes his fathers actions seem more acceptable. It’s easier that way, and so he’s scared of microwaves now.

“And I thought Hoseok was bad!” Jimin says, laughter cutting deep into Jungkook.

“Yeah, laugh it up, I know it’s stupid.” Jungkook replies, feigning amusement and fake scorn, but his inner hurt must be evident, because the laughter comes to a stop.

“It’s not stupid.” Taehyung says, and Yoongi nods. So does Namjoon, and Seokjin, and Hoseok. Jimin probably does aswell, but Jungkook assumes he missed it. “It’s understandable. Most fears are rooted in you for a reason, if you’re scared of microwaves, it’s not your fault.”

“Yeah, I didn’t choose to be scared of so much. Trust me, I’d much rather be fearless, life would be so much easier that way. But that wasn’t the way I was made, so all I can do is learn to deal and cope with it.” Hoseok says, head held high in determination.

“Oh- um, thanks. Now, about that tour of Seoul?” Jungkook changes the subject, and faces that were previously serious turn to bright smiles.

“Ah, yeah! We better head if we want to stick to the itinerary!” Jimin cries, seizing a sheet of paper off the table and standing up.

“An itinerary?” Jungkook mumbles. “For a day out?”

“Jimin gets really into these things.” Seokjin replies, shaking his head fondly at the memory of Jimin highlighting tour brochures and googling the quickest routes last night, compiling them into a day plan.

“He’s such a kind-hearted person, to do all that just for me. He’s so selfless.” Jungkook compliments, staring at the older boy in awe.

“He’s a good person. He has his issues and problems like the rest of us, but deep down, he cares a lot about everyone.” Seokjin replies, before turning away and heading over to Namjoon and Hoseok.

“Deep down?” Jungkook repeats to himself, still looking at Jimin, but now in contemplation. “I wonder what he means by that? He seems to be a nice person on the surface aswell.”

Jimin turns and grins at Jungkook, motioning for him to follow as the group begin to exit out of the front door.

‘Must’ve been a slip of the tongue or something.’ Jungkook thinks, acquiescing and following Jimin out of the apartment.

“First stop of the day: Gyeongbokgung Palace!” Jimin announces, gesturing openly at the large building ahead. “It was built in 1394, but most of it was burned in 1592 due to Japanese invaders and it was restored in 1867. There’re multiple halls inside, such as the Gangnyeongjeon – or the King’s quarters – and the Geunjeongjeon – or the Throne Hall. We don’t have enough time to go inside, but we can watch the changing of the guards!”

“He’s taking this way too seriously…” Yoongi mutters, receiving a stern look from Seokjin in return.

“He’s just trying to be nice, it’s you that’s taking things too seriously.” Seokjin responds, walking forward and into step with Namjoon.

“Nice…yeah, sure.” Yoongi says under his breath, continuing to walk behind everyone else. He spots Jungkook walking beside Taehyung, the latter talking animatedly and the younger laughing at whatever he’d said.

‘Strange, did something happen?’ Yoongi wonders, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. ‘Last time I saw him, Taehyung could barely look at Jungkook never mind whatever’s happening right now.’

He’s not alone in his confusion over the sudden turn of events, considering Jimin seems to be just as confused, staring at the laughing pair intensely.

“I’ll ask him about it later, maybe he knows something I don’t.” Yoongi decides, coming to an abrupt halt when he realises he’s about to walk right into Jungkook, too caught up in his internal debate to notice everyone else had long stopped walking.

BTS (@BTS_twt) 18/04/16

[PHOTO: Two guards changing over in front of the Gyeongbokgung Palace. The sun is shining and there are seven shadows sprawled across the ground.]

Using our day off to do some sightseeing in Seoul! It’s amazing how much we have never visited!

73.8k replies                                                     472k retweets                                                  936k hearts

“Stop number two: Bukchon Hanok Village!” Jimin announces, smiling widely. “I’ve rented us Hanboks to wear for our time here, I thought it would be fun and more immersive, like we’re members of the Joseon dynasty or something!”

“You’ve really put a lot of thought into this, haven’t you…” Jungkook says, appreciative of the lengths Jimin has gone to in order to make his day the best it could possibly be.

“Of course, I couldn’t just take you on a half-hearted, boring tour. I want you to enjoy yourself as much as possible! Now, follow me, we’ve got to go see a Hanok, there’s beautiful artisian displays inside them apparently!” Jimin says, grabbing Jungkook’s wrist (like always) and dragging him, everyone else following at a much more leisurely pace.

BTS (@BTS_twt)

[VIDEO: All six original members of BTS sketching in a row, focusing intently on their work. They all hold their drawings up at the same time, some looking very good (Taehyung’s and Jimin’s) and the rest looking more like random lines and squiggles. There’s laughter coming from whoever’s filming, and everyone in front of the camera begins to complain at the mysterious cameraman. There’s a seventh drawing on the table aswell, very precisely and well-drawn. The video ends with Seokjin standing up and making his way towards the filmer, shaking his fist threateningly.]

We tried our hand at one of the drawing workshops in Bukchon Hanok Village! Our cameraman is very mean TTATT

102.7k replies                                                   592k retweets                                                  1.1m hearts

“Second-last stop of the day: Myeong-dong Shopping Street!” Jimin proclaims. “One of the primary shopping districts in Seoul, it has more shops than you can imagine including Lotte and Shinsegae Department Stores!”

“Jimin, none of us brought our wallets. What’s the point in coming to a place where you need to spend money?” Taehyung asks, looking around at the various shops that surround him.

“That’s where you’re wrong. I picked up everyone’s wallets this morning because I knew no one would bring them.” Jimin says smugly, opening his bag and showing everyone their wallets inside of it.

“Now, lets see. This one is obviously Seokjin’s because it’s pink inside. This one’s Yoongi’s because it’s all black. This one’s…” Jimin continues to identify the money holders, passing them out one by one to their owners. “Oh, Jungkook, I didn’t bring yours. I’m so sorry, it completely slipped my mind.” He says, frowning deeply at his blunder.

“Ah, don’t worry about it. If you see anything you like or want, let me know, I’ll buy it and you can pay me back, Kook.” Taehyung offers, smiling.

Yoongi frowns slightly at the continued sudden familiarity and closeness of the two, and goes to offer to do the same, but Jimin unconsciously cuts him off.

“Ah, Jungkook. Why don’t you go ahead with Namjoon, Seokjin and Hoseok. I’ve got something I need to ask Taehyung about.” Jimin says, and Jungkook agrees, heading over to stand with the others, before all walking into a little shop.

“Kook? Since when have you started calling Jeon, Kook?” Jimin asks, staring intensely at his friend.

“Why’s it such a big deal? You’re the one that’s been acting like his best friend since he got here, anyway. What does it matter if I call him by a nickname?” Taehyung answers, furrowing his brows and crossing his arms defensively.

“Why does it matter? You hate Jeon, Taehyung! That’s why it matters!” Jimin replies, mirroring Taehyung’s stance and turning to face him straight on.

“Well, maybe I’ve changed my mind.” Taehyung says, looking Jimin in the eye.

“What?” Jimin gapes, mouth hanging open, reminiscent of a goldfish.

“I said, maybe I’ve changed my mind. Maybe I don’t hate him anymore, huh? Am I not allowed to have a change of heart, Jimin?” Taehyung challenges, stepping forward slightly.

“What’s the matter with you?” Jimin says while staring, horrified at his best friend.

“What’s the matter with me? What’s the matter with you? You’ve been acting off all day, Jimin. Don’t think I didn’t notice how you were acting at breakfast. What? Do you think I’m gonna steal your precious Kookie away from you, or something?” Taehyung taunts, sneering slightly. He catches himself though, and stops almost instantly. “Listen, Jimin. I understand everything’s been hard. It’s difficult to have someone you’ve never met before come and live with us suddenly, and I know you’ve grown attached to him, but you can’t isolate him or keep him for yourself. He’s not your possession, he’s a person – a person that I happen to want to get to know and get closer to.” Taehyung says, completely missing the mark.

“Grown attached to him? Isolate him? Keep him for myself?” Jimin repeats, tone rising manically with each word. “You think- you seriously think, that I- I see him as a possession?” He spits, glaring at Taehyung.

“With the way you’ve been acting recently? Yeah, Jimin, I do. And you need to stop whatever you’re doing, before someone gets hurt.” Taehyung replies scathingly. “Look, I love you, Jimin. You know that. And it’s because I love you that I’m calling you out for your bullshit, okay? Stop acting like this. It’s not the real you.” He finishes, before walking away to catch up with the others, entering the shop they went in to.

And Jimin, Jimin isn’t angry.

He’s livid.

Jeon’s somehow gotten Taehyung to forgive him? Manipulated him into submission like he does with everyone else, like he did with Yoongi.

Yoongi who’s standing right there, Yoongi who saw his and Taehyung’s argument. Yoongi the traitor.

And, oh, how Jimin wants to call him out; right here and right now. To yell at him, tell him exactly what he thinks – but he won’t.

Jimin has more self-control than that.

So, he stays silent as he turns and begins to walk, following Taehyung’s invisible trail.

You know what they say: ‘Revenge is a dish best served cold’.

And today is pretty damn sunny.

“The fourth and final place for today: Godabang Cat café!” Jimin says, opening the door and revealing a crowded café with cats lounging around. “One of the most popular Cat Cafés in Seoul, it hosts cats of many different breeds, such as Exotic Persians, American Shorthairs and Norwegian Forest!”

One of the cats prowls over to Yoongi, rubbing itself around his leg and curling its tail around his calf. Yoongi bends down in an Asian squat and begins to pet the cat, paying special attention to rubbing around it’s ears.

“Yoongi’s finally found his true family, a place where he belongs at last. We can only wish you the best as you embark on this new chapter of your life as a fellow cat in a Cat Café.” Seokjin claps Yoongi on the back, and the latter turns to face him and hisses at the contact and joke. “Wow, an aggressive kitty. Not many people are gonna want to pet you if you act like that, Yoons.”

“Call me a cat one more time, I dare you.” Yoongi seethes, but continues to stroke the cat gently.

“Feisty kitty.” Seokjin mutters, hightailing it across the room upon seeing Yoongi begin to stand up.

“Yeah, you better goddamn run.” Yoongi mutters, before retuning to his previous crouch and continuing the pet the cat, lavishing attention on it.

“You’d be a cute cat, though.” A voice says from above Yoongi, and he prepares to fight the person, until he looks up and realises that it was Jungkook that said it.

“Oh- um, I don’t think so. I’d be dead standoffish and antisocial, no one would come near me.” Yoongi replies, willing his blush to disappear as he tilts his head to hide it, focusing on the cat.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t be cute. You’d just be a cute standoffish and antisocial cat then.” Jungkook says, crouching down before sitting and crossing his legs.

“Hmm, you might have a point there.” Yoongi agrees while looking at Jungkook, who’s focusing on a kitten that’s made its way over to him and curled up in his lap. And Yoongi does something he rarely does, he takes a secret photo. Not to post anywhere, just for himself.

[PHOTO: Side-view of Jungkook sitting, legs crossed, with a tiny kitten in his lap. He’s petting it softly while smiling gently.]

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“What a day,” Hoseok sighs, stretching his arms above his head and tilting his head from side to side.

“Ah, thank you all- so much, for today. I had a lot of fun, I hope you all did aswell.” Jungkook thanks everyone, shyly ducking his head while doing so.

“It was no problem at all, Kookie! As long as you enjoyed yourself, that’s all that matters!” Jimin says, encasing Jungkook in a warm hug and rocking him from side to side. “Oh, but there’s one last thing we need to do!”

“What?” Namjoon asks. “It’s still light out but most places are probably shut by now.”

“We need to take a group picture, of course!” Jimin says. “Look, there’s a bus stop over there! That’ll be perfect.”

Everyone follows the excited boy to the bus stop, and sit down on the bench.

“Wait, who’s gonna take the photo?” Taehyung asks, looking over at Jimin in question.

“Look, there’s a wall over there. We’ll just set a phone up and put a timer on.” Namjoon suggests, pointing at a brick wall straight across from them, at the perfect height for a makeshift tripod.

Jimin hurries over, sets his phone up (very precariously), and runs back over to the bench, slotting himself in between Hoseok and Jungkook.

“Okay, guys! Three, two, one – smile!”

[PHOTO: All seven boys sitting on a bench in a bus stop. The order from left to right is: Seokjin, Hoseok, Jimin, Jungkook, Yoongi, Taehyung and Namjoon. They’re all grinning widely at the camera, and theres a view of a blue ocean behind them.]

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“Jeon Hyjun, speaking.”

“Hyjun, it’s me.”

“Ah, Jungkook. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. That’s the thing, nothing’s wrong.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

“There isn’t one… I’m happy, Hyjun.”

“Jungko-“

“I’m so, so happy. I can’t explain it. It’s like, impossible to put into words, because I thought- I never thought I’d ever be this happy with everything. Like, when I was leaving it was like I was a sacrifice going to certain death, but I’m not dead yet. I’m still alive, more alive than I’ve felt in a long, long time and I love it. I wake up in the morning and I don’t think about the day being over – I want it to begin. I want to begin. I feel like I’ve finally began. It’s like the last 19 years of my life were a warmup; a preview to where I am right now. I feel like one of those cliché Disney princesses – you know, the ones with the tragic past – who’s finally getting her glass slipper moment, and obviously I don’t wear heels but these ones just seem to fit. I feel like I should be calling a tailor and requesting a ball gown or something stupid like that. Maybe if I open the windows and start singing a bunch of fauna will appear and start cleaning my room for me? Maybe my Prince Charming is waiting outside, ready to confirm this fairytale dream?”

“Jungkook, I-“

“Or maybe it’s a wicked witch instead. Maybe they’re waiting to take me out, dispose of me. Maybe I’m not Cinderella, but Snow White, and a witch in disguise is ready to offer me a polished red apple claiming of the good it’ll do me, and the second I accept and bite into it I’ll crumple to the ground and lose everything. But that couldn’t possibly be the end, right? Cause I don’t have 7 dwarfs, but I do have 6 idols, and they’ve shown me a world of things I’d never dreamed I’d get to experience before.  They’d save me, no chance that they wouldn’t. They have their faults but they’re good people, they wouldn’t leave me alone and betray me, right?”

“Listen, Jungkook. You-“

“Oh, god, I’m starting to depend on them. I- I can’t, Hyjun. I need to support myself, I can’t rely on others. Others let you down, they throw you under the bus to stop it so they can cross the road, they act nice and act like they care but they’re really just waiting for a moment to tear you down, right? I should know this, I know this! Why am I being like this? I kn-“

“Jungkook!”

“I’m sorry.”

“What was that? I could swear I just heard you say I’m sorry. What did you mean?”

“Thank you for stopping me.”

“You’re welcome. I thought we worked on the whole ‘apologising for things you can’t control’ thing?”

“Me too…”

“We’ll get it to stick, don’t worry. We’ll work on it, later though. Right now we need to talk about what just happened.”

“I was just rambling, it’s nothing importan-“

“Jungkook.”

“Okay, fine… I’m worried.”

“About what, exactly?”

“Everything. Life is- life is just so good right now. I don’t want it to end.”

“And it doesn’t have to. Not every story has a climax and dramatic downfall of the protagonist.”

“But mine will, Hyjun. I’m like a carbon-copy of every storybook protagonist ever to live. I fit the prototype of one perfectly; tragic backstory, turn of events and suddenly everything’s great - I’ve even got the whole ‘him-against-the-world’ thing going on. If anyone’s life is gonna have the big, dramatic scene, it’s gonna be mine.”

“Jungkook, what happens at the end of Cinderella?”

“The prince finds her and they get married.”

 “And in Snow White?”

“She goes into a coma and the dwarves come with the prince and rescue her. Your point is?”

“My point is, they had troubled pasts and hard lives, yes. But they also had a happily ever after at the end of it all. Things went wrong at some point, sure; midnight for Cinderella and the apple for Snow White; but everything worked out in the end. The same goes for you. Something might happen, but it’ll be worth it in the long run.”

“You promise?”

“I promise, bunny.”

“I’m so- Thank you. For everything. I’d be a mess without you.”

“You’d be just fine without me. You’re stronger than you think, the fact that you’re still fighting to this day proves it. You could’ve given up years ago, you could’ve wallowed in grief – but you didn’t. You’re a fighter, Jeon Jungkook. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You’ll be fine when I’m gone.”

“I suppose, but that won’t be for years, so I’ll be older then. It’s okay to need someone right now, you’ve taught me that.”

“…I have something I need to te-“

“Ah, sorry Hyjun, Jimin’s calling me. Breaks over apparently. I’ll call you back later, okay?”

“Okay, Jungkook. Talk to you then.”

“Thanks for listening and helping, it means more than you know. Talk to you later!”

Click.

“Years, huh? You always have been a dreamer, bunny.”

“Hush, little baby, don’t say a word. Mama’s gonna buy you a mocking bird. And if that mocking bird don’t sing, Mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring. And if that diamond ring is brass, Mama’s gonna buy you a looking glass…” A dulcet tone sings softly, words coated in honey. When she realises the baby boy is finally sleeping, she lightly trails off and finishes the lullaby.

She goes to stand, but is startled by a firm hand clasping her right shoulder, clenching the cotton of her top.

“Thought I told you to come to bed ten minutes ago?” A gravelled voice says, grasp tightening in punctuation.

“Jungkook started crying, I was just putting him back to sleep. So we could have some alone time, honey.” The woman replies, lifting a slender hand to her shoulder and placing it gently atop the clenching fist, thumb stroking the hard knuckles.

“Should’ve let the brat stay awake, s’what he gets for not doing as he’s told.” The man replies, staring at the resting child in disgust.

“Well, he’s asleep now. Let’s head back to bed, okay?” She coaxes, slowly rising to stand and face him, smiling placatingly.

“Yeah, let’s head back to bed. Spend fifteen minutes together till you have to get up cause the brat’s crying again. I’ve told you, he’s more trouble than he’s worth. You said you’d take care of him, and I let you keep him because I believed you. I trusted you. I know I kept up my end of the bargain, have you?” The man spits, turning to face her with furrowed brows and strong scowl.

“I have. I’m taking care of him. I’m doing all I can, you know that. You know I’d rather be with you at night, but if you want me to keep up my end of the deal, I need to take care of him.” She says, glancing minutely at the boy, before returning her gaze to the man.

“He’s replacing me, knew it would happen somewhere down the fucking line. I can’t have a single fucking minute with you anymore without him whining or crying or ruining it!” He rages, stepping towards her with clenched fists.

“You know I’d never replace you. I love you. It’s a tricky time, he needs support right now. Everything will go back to normal soon enough, I promise.” She soothes, raising a hand to his bicep, but it’s roughly caught by his right hand.

“’Soon enough’, eh? What happens when he needs to go to school, when he’s walking and talking and can’t be alone for two minutes without you? You’re fucking spoiling him, he’s gonna end up a selfish brat.” He seethes. “You said you’d be mine, forever. Just mine.”

“And I am. And always will be. I’d never leave you.” She pacifies, forcing her eyes wider and tilting the edges of her lips upward.

“Come to bed and prove it then. Prove that you’re mine.” He orders, tugging on her wrist that’s still in his hold.

“Yours.” She says, following him out of the room.

It’s not only the baby that cries that night.

The baby rapidly grows into a toddler, and just as soon as he’s taking his first steps, he’s starting nursery. Just as soon as he’s saying his first words, he’s bringing home pieces of coloured paper covered in bits of macaroni and glitter. Just as soon as he’s growing his first tooth, he’s visiting his mother in hospital.

“Hi, mama.” He says from beside the bed, tugging on the covers as if his mother hasn’t seen him.

“Hi, sweetpea. Two visits in one week? Aren’t I just the luckiest woman!” She claims, hoisting him onto the bed beside her. He burrows into the blankets and curls up into his mother’s side, unaware of the narrowed eyes being directed at him from the doorway.

“I missed you. Papa did too. Right, Papa?” The boy’s voice is muffled from where it’s pressed against his mother’s waist, but still audible enough for both of his parents to hear.

“Of course I missed her.” He says while walking over, before addressing the woman hooked up to multiple machines. “Was going to be a solo visit but this one wanted to come along too, wouldn’t stop screaming unless I brought him.”

“Well, I’m glad to have my two favourite people here with me. How’s nursery been, baby?” She asks, prodding at the boy until his head pops up and doe eyes are staring at her.

“Good. I painted you a picture, but Papa lost it. I’ll make you another one, though.” He says, nuzzling his head into her side in apology.

“I’m sure it was a very good painting, and I’m sad I won’t get to see it. I’m sure your next one will be even better, though!” She smiles, ruffling the raven hair. Upon looking up, she meets the man’s eyes and has to physically restrain the shudder that wants to wrack her fragile body.

“How’s everything been, honey? He’s been behaving well apart from his little tantrum today, right?” She asks, still softly petting the boy’s hair.

“Everything’s been just fine. He’s been spending a lot of time in his room. Right, Jungkook?” He replies, the direct addressal of his son causing the boy’s head to pop out and nod hastily.

The boy goes to speak, but a stern look from his father halts the words about to leave his mouth. In a sudden burst of courage, he speaks anyway.

“I miss you, mama. When are you coming home?” His voice cracks, raising stubby hands to rub at watery eyes.

“Soon, sweetheart. Soon.”

It’s at this precise moment in time that the boy learns a vital lesson; never trust anyone but himself.

The toddler rapidly grows into a young boy, and just as soon as he’s starting nursery, he’s attending his mother’s funeral. Just as soon as he’s bringing home pieces of coloured paper with bits of macaroni and glitter, he’s using the glitter and macaroni to conceal the ugly, mottled bruises that cover his arms. Just as soon as he’s visiting his mother in hospital, he’s the one in the hospital.

“Now, son. Can you tell me how exactly you broke your arm in three places?” The doctor asks, staring imploringly at the child.

“My dad already told you, I fell out the tree in my back garden.” The boy replies matter-of-factly, avoiding the doctor’s stare and focusing on the window instead.

“He did tell me that, but I’d like to hear your side of the story too. It’s very unlikely falling out of a tree would result in all of these injuries, especially certain ones that are currently in the healing phase.” The doctor says.

“My dad already told you that too. I get in fights at school, I’m a problem kid, yeah? Mother died young, been rebellious and out of control ever since. Same old, same old.” The boy sighs, swinging his legs back and forth.

“Indeed he has. But again, I’d prefer to hear your side of things, Jungkook. So, I’ll ask you again: how did you break your arm? And how did you get all of these bruises and burns?” The doctor questions, reaching to hold the boy’s hand, pulling back rapidly upon the flinch it elicits from the latter.

“I fell out of a tree. I’m a problem child, get in fights at school.” The boy repeats robotically, the words sounding manufactured and artificial.

“You’re sure it was a tree and fights that caused these, not your father?” The doctor addresses the elephant in the room, seeing that being subtle was getting the inquiry nowhere. The boy flinches, head snapping up to stare wide-eyed at the elder, fear swimming in the brown pools.

“Yes. My dad had nothing to do with any of this. He loves me. I’m his-“ The boy stops for a moment, pinching his arm, before continuing. “His son.”

“He would never hurt me.”

The boy doesn’t tell the truth, especially not to a man he just met that day. He doesn’t trust anyone but himself.

The young boy rapidly grows into a boy of eight, and just as soon as he’s attending his mother’s funeral, he’s learning how to cook his own meals so he doesn’t starve. Just as soon as he’s using glitter and macaroni to conceal the ugly, mottled bruises that cover his arms, he’s learning first aid and treating those wounds nightly. Just as soon as he’s in hospital, he’s never allowed near one again.

Until, one night, his father’s not there to stop him.

Because his father’s the one in the hospital, incapacitated and on death’s doorstep.

“You’re Jungkook, right?” A soft baritone asks from in front of where the boy’s seated. “I’m Hyjun, your uncle.”

“Uncle? I don’t have an uncle.” The boy responds, brows furrowing in confusion and worrying his already raw and bleeding lower lip.

“Why am I not surprised he did this?” The man mutters under his breath, but the boy’s still able to hear him. “I promise you, Jungkook, I’m definitely your uncle. I’m your father’s brother. We haven’t been in contact for over a decade, I had no clue you existed either. I would definitely have come and visited if I had, you’re too adorable to stay away from on purpose. I wi-“

“He’s going to die, isn’t he?” The boy says, eyes glazed and staring at nothing.

“I- your father? Well, I-“ The man stutters, clearly caught off-guard by the boy’s bluntness.

“Please, don’t lie to me. Tell me: is he going to die?” The boy asks, a sudden flame sparking behind previously dulled and sullen eyes.

“… Yes. Yes he is. I’m sorry.” The man sighs in resignation, posture slumping.

“Why are you apologising, it’s not your fault. You didn’t make him drink ten bottles of beer then go out driving. Everyone leaves eventually, it was only a matter of time.” The boy consoles, flame flickering out and dampening until only ashes are left.

“Not this time, bunny.” The man says resolutely, bending down until he’s face to face with the boy’s shocked facial expression.

“What do you mean? And, bunny?” The boy asks, mouth parted slightly.

“I’m your closest relative, I’ll be taking you in. And I’m most certainly never going to leave you.” The man claims, the boy’s previous fire seemingly starting one in the elder. “And you look like a bunny; I don’t think I’ve ever seen a kid as cute as you.”

The boy’s cheeks flush a bright crimson, and he ducks his head swiftly in an attempt to hide his body’s betrayal. The man chuckles and ruffles the boy’s hair, persisting through the flinch until the boy relaxes into the contact, unconsciously nuzzling into the elder’s hand.

“It’s you and me from here on out, kid.” He says, pulling the boy into a warm hug.

“You and me…” The boy mutters, and finds he likes the idea of not feeling so alone for once.

He doesn’t trust him, but he’s willing to give him a chance.

The boy of eight rapidly grows into an adolescent, and just as soon as he’s learning how to cook his own meals, he’s learning to let someone cook for him every day. Just as soon as he’s learning first aid and using it every night, he’s letting someone disinfect and bandage his scraped knees after falling off his bike. Just as soon as he’s never allowed to near a hospital, he still doesn’t go anywhere near a hospital.

But not because he’s not allowed to; because he doesn’t need to.

After years of his father, his uncle is a welcome change to the boy’s life. A man who the boy often struggles to believe was related to his father. How could someone so loving and caring be the brother of such a monster?

He’s long since revealed to his uncle how little his father was actually a father figure to him after the death of his mother. It was easier than he thought it would be, the words just seemed to flow like a river after one of his nightmares, his uncle rushing through at the first sound of distress. He listened and understood, comforted and cursed quietly (but the boy still heard, and giggled softly) and most importantly of all, he helped. And still does.

He praises him for everything the boy accomplishes, no matter how small or slight. He cuddles him and they watch the boy’s favourite film (Iron Man) despite the fact they’ve already seen it three times that week. He talks him out of his panic attacks, spending hours upon hours researching the best coping methods. He enrols him in singing and dancing lessons, igniting a passion in the boy that had been dormant for so long.

So, the boy thinks that his request won’t shock the elder.

“I want to be an Idol.”

It does.

“You- you want to be an Idol?” His uncle splutters, just managing to catch the mug of coffee he’s holding before it slips through his fingers, staring at the boy in shock.

“Yes. I want to be an Idol, like G-Dragon, and make people happy. I want to give people something to cling to during hard times, something to comfort them when they have no one there, something to give people a reason to keep going.” The boy declares, eyes shining.

“Bunny, you do realise that it’s not easy being an Idol. There’s a lot of gruelling training involved, and the industry is a very harsh one. I understand that you want to do this but-“ The elder starts, but is cut off by the boy’s fiery tone.

“Then why won’t you let me? I never ask you for anything. Please, Hyjun, let me do this.” The boy pleads.

“Bun, I’m just trying to do what’s best for you. Theres so many downsides to being an Idol; you’ll never have any real privacy, you’ll be forced to give yourself up to the media for constant judging, you’ll have no time to do whatever you want. You’ll have an image to protect, you’ll need to perform in front of thousands. Your anxiety-“

“Don’t you play the anxiety card on me. I know my anxiety better than anyone else, and I know my limits. Only I can say whether or not I can do this, Hyjun. And I know I can.”

“Do you really think it’s a breeze to get signed to a company, Jungkook? I may be able to get you in to the one I work at, but what then? You think you can waltz about the building calling on me for help and hugging me all the time? There’d be rumours, bad ones. Rumours that the only reason you were accepted was because of family relations, not your talent-”

“But if I show I’m talented enough, then that won’t be a problem! They’ll know that I’m there of my own merit-“

“Jungkook! Stop cutting me off, I raised you better than this!” His uncle yells, startling the boy into submission. The elder sighs, his body slumping. “I know you’re passionate about this, and yes, I think you are more than talented enough to make it as an Idol, but you’re being naïve.”

The younger waits, making sure his uncle is finished this time, before replying. “I’m not, Hyjun. I understand I’ll have to make sacrifices, and I’m willing to. There’s always a cost, I learned that years ago, but this time I’m willing to pay it. Because this is what’s right for me, it’s something I want to do. It’s not just a spur of the moment thing, I’ve been thinking about it for a long, long time.”

“You’re certain – and I mean completely certain – this is what you want to pursue?”

“Yes, Hyjun. I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.”

“Okay then. We’ll set up an audition at the company I work at, won’t tell them we’re related. If you get an offer after that, you can do it.” The elder says, and is suddenly crushed in a tight hug from the younger.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! You won’t regret this, I promise! I’ll make you proud!”

“I’ve never doubted that, bunny, you make me proud every day. This time, make yourself proud, okay?”

“Okay.” The boy laughs, drawing back from the embrace, but his uncle catches his wrists in a lax grip.

“But, you have to know. If you get accepted as a trainee at my company, we can’t act like this.”

“Wait, what do you mean ‘like this’?” The younger asks, confused.

“We can’t act like we know each other. The CEO and some of the higher-ups will know that we’re related after you’re accepted, but no one else will. What I said earlier still stands, if they see a newly hired trainee hugging and acting cosy with a manager, they’ll think something’s going on. That’s how rumours start. Rumours that can ruin a career before it’s even started.”

“I- so we can’t, like, show anything but indifference to each other?”

“Not at work, no. We’ll need to get separate transport to and from the headquarters as well, arriving together will seem suspicious too.”

“We can act the same in private though? Like in the house and that?”

“House? Jungkook, if you get in, you’ll be living in accommodation with the other trainees. You won’t be living here anymore. Have you thought about any of this, Jungkook?”

“Yes! I have, I just- didn’t realise I’d have to move out…”

“Listen, if you don’t want to-“

“No, I want to! I’ll be fine, I’ll handle it!”

“Bunny-“

“You can’t call me that anymore! It’ll- we need to get out of the habit of being so familiar with each other. I’m Jungkook and you’re Hyjun from now on, yeah? Best get started early to avoid slipping up.”

“Bun-“

“Eh!”

“Jungkook. It could be months until your audition, we don’t need to-“

“Yes, we do. You said so yourself. It’s part of the cost, and like I said earlier, I need to pay it. I need to do this.”

“…Okay, Jungkook.”

And it’s at this point that he realises the tables have turned, because now he trusts his uncle, but not himself.

Perhaps that’s where it all went wrong for him.

The adolescent rapidly grows into a teenager of fifteen, and just as soon as he’s learning to let someone cook for him every day, he’s relearning to cook for himself in his new shared dormitory. Just as soon as he’s letting someone disinfect and bandage his scraped knees after falling off his bike, he’s using heating pads on pulled muscles and applying cream to bruised kneecaps from dance practice. Just as soon as he doesn’t go anywhere near a hospital, he doesn’t go anywhere near his old home.

He retreats back into his shell, unable to find the strength to talk and go out with his dorm mates, and soon makes quite the reputation for himself.

They call him the ‘Ice Prince’ – the boy who thinks he’s above everyone else, too arrogant to even associate with anyone other than himself.

They couldn’t be further from the truth. While they’re out at a restaurant - talking and complaining about him - he’s on the floor of the bathroom in the dorm, in the middle of a panic attack. While they’re sleeping in their beds at night, he’s in the studio going over everything they learned that day in fear of being exposed (of what, he’s not sure, but the fear is still present and very real). While they’re visiting their families back home, he barricades himself in his room and stays – alone – for the week, eating instant ramen sporadically and sleeping the days away.

His reputation follows him for the rest of his time as a trainee, and even when he’s finally stable enough to pursue a friendship, none of the newer recruits want to be within a mile’s radius of him.

It seems his uncle was right, rumours can indeed kill a career before it even starts. However, it wasn’t his Idol career; it was his social career.

When he finally debuts, and thinks he’s escaping his self-imposed solitude at last, it all comes back to bite him. He thinks it’s strange that the other Idols at the AMA’s refuse to even look at him unless a cameras pointed at them, but brushes it off as arrogance on their part and awkwardness on his. That is, until he accidently bumps into an older male on the way to the restrooms.

“You think you can just walk right into me or something, pretty boy? What was it they called you? Oh, yeah, ‘Ice Prince’, how could I forget? Think I was gonna jump out of your way or something? I’m not gonna act like one of your loyal subjects and bow at your feet. None of us will. In case you haven’t already noticed, everyone here fucking despises you. Bet you regret that whole ‘holier than thou’ attitude now, huh?” The Idol spits, stepping forward until he’s backed his prey against the wall.

“I- I’m sorry, I just wanted to-“ The younger starts, but is cut off by loud and exaggerated laughter.

“You’re sorry? Wow, you actually admitted you think you’re better than everyone? They said you were arrogant, but I didn’t think you’d be this bad, fucking hell. Listen, I’ve gotta get back, but there’s something I need to get off my chest first, yeah? You’d be best just quitting now; you made your bed long ago and soon enough your gonna have to lie in it, and it ain’t gonna be fun. You’ll never have a friend in this industry, everyone – even those who’ve never met you – hate you. You’ll never have anyone. Give up and go back to whatever rich, privileged family you came from. You suit being a Daddy’s boy more than an Idol, anyway.” He finishes, pushing the younger roughly to the side, and walks away.

And it’s at this moment that he realises another, equally important, lesson.

He’s destined to be alone, and nothing he can ever do will change that.

Later, Jungkook thinks, is a very vague word to describe an amount of time. It doesn’t mean any set period; the gap could range from a few hours to many years.

It’s for this reason that, when Yugyeom forces their goodbye into ‘see you later’, Jungkook doesn’t dwell on why Yugyeom wanted to use that exact phrasing.

Jungkook knows better than most the pain of a goodbye, the scars they inflict and the mental hurt they cause, the repercussions have followed him throughout the duration of his life after all. So, he never thought that there could be any other reason for Yugyeom’s insistence – it was to avoid the agony of his leaving, right?

Apparently not, because there standing in the doorway of the studio is Yugyeom himself; sweaty, red-faced and out of breath.

“Jungkook!” the panting Idol cries out, ignoring the exhaustion in his heaving body and dashing over to his friend upon first sight.

“Yugyeom?” Jungkook says while being wrapped in a tight hug, confusion coating his voice. “Wha- I- what on earth are you doing here? How did you even get here?”

“Booked a flight when you left, couldn’t let you go halfway across the country to live with a bunch of strangers and not check up on you. What kinda best friend would I be then, huh?” Yugyeom sighs, pulling back from the embrace and looking pointedly at Jungkook. “Besides, I missed you. Missed skipping afternoon practice to get food with you, going bowling on our days off, coming to yours at two in the morning so we could-“

“Yugyeom!” Jungkook cuts the younger off, blushing in embarrassment. “Don’t talk about that around other people!”

He glances quickly around the room, noticing the other six present no longer look confused, but now have an array of facial expressions. Jin and Taehyung seem to be very amused with the whole thing, whispering conspiratorially to each other and laughing. Hoseok’s watching the whole encounter with a bright smile while Namjoon’s eyes are narrowed, thinking intensely about something. Yoongi’s staring at Yugyeom, analysing the youngest with a look of displeasure and downturned lips, and Jimin’s biting his lip harshly, clenching his fists.

Jungkook sees Taehyung lean over to Jimin though, smacking his arm lightly and scolding him for something, though what that something is, Jungkook can’t tell. As quick as lightning, Jimin’s posture relaxes and his hands slacken, opening like a blooming flower and spreading wide, and he shoots a glare at the younger before turning back to Yugyeom and Jungkook with a smile – but, Jungkook notes, his eyes aren’t crinkled.

“Oh, please, don’t mind us. Talk about whatever you want. I’m quite curious about what our little Jungkookie got up to back in Busan, seems like it’s more risqué than I was thinking.” Jin says, punctuating his statement with a wink directed to Yugyeom, and a small smirk.

“I think I like you already, Kim Seokjin.” Yugyeom grins, sliding towards the oldest with a devious look in his eyes.

“Oh, I feel much the same, Kim Yugyeom.” Jin responds, and is rewarded with a look of genuine surprise on Yugyeom’s face.

“You know who I am? Wow, Jungkook been slandering me this full time? And to think I paid for a flight and accommodation here, without even telling my manager may I add, and he’s been betraying me this full time. I’m wounded. Wounded!” Yugyeom exclaims dramatically, feigning an arrow to the heart and dropping to his knees in anguish. He turns to Jungkook, and points in accusation. “You, who I punched a man for, would betray me? I thought better of you, Jeon Jungkook. You have let me down.”

Giving in to his urges, Jungkook bursts into raucous laughter, bending over and clutching at his knees. Yugyeom presses his lips firmly together, but his friend’s laughter proves too infectious, and soon enough he’s chortling along with Jungkook in synchrony.

“No, actually. Jungkook doesn’t talk much about himself, I didn’t realise you knew each other. You’re the youngest member of GOT7, yeah?” Jin says, his speech a pause button on the pair’s laughter.

“You- you know me from my band? Didn’t expect that, not like we’re big yet.” Yugyeom says in disbelief.

“Namjoon here is good friends with Jackson, have been for a while. Right, Joonie?” Jin says, turning to face Namjoon, who blinks rapidly and refocuses, clicking his fingers.

“Yeah, met a year or so ago, he never shuts up about his youngest. Guess this explains why I got a phone call a month back from him. ‘I swear to fuck, Namjoon, he’s just ran out of rehearsal shouting something about the airport! What am I doing wrong? He was an angel a few years back, now he’s skipping practice and leaving the dorm at midnight. You think he’s in a gang, oh god, Namjoon, what if he’s joined the mafia!’ He’s pretty worried about you.” Namjoon says in realisation, puzzle pieces finally clicking into place.

“Sounds like Jackson all right.” Yugyeom mutters, Jungkook elbowing him in the side. “Ouch! What? It’s true. He’s like a mother hen and annoying brother wrapped into one.”

“He cares, Gyeomie.” Jungkook admonishes, receiving an apologetic, lopsided smile from his friend.

“You’re just as bad as him, Kook. I love you all the more for it though.” Yugyeom claims, and he steps forward, ruffling the smaller’s brown locks and slinging an arm around Jungkook’s shoulder. “So, these guys are your new family, huh? What, you think I don’t keep in contact with Hyjun too? He’s told me all about your conversation. Have to say, I’d quite like some new brothers, and maybe even… a brother-in-law?”

“That’s not happening anytime soon, Yugyeom. I mean, come on, it’s me. Who’d-“ Jungkook starts, but is swiftly cut off.

“You better not have been about to say what I think you were about to say, Jeon Jungkook. I will hit you, don’t think I won’t. You seriously don’t remember that time at the cinema-“

“Fluke.”

“Or the time at the beach-“

“Luck.”

“Or the time at the restaurant-“

“He was flirting with you.”

“Or the time at the gay bar-“

“Yugyeom!”

“Right, right, no talking about our exploits, got it.”

“As lovely as this conversation is, is there a reason you’re here, Yugyeom?” Yoongi steps forward, posturing slightly and walking closer to the youngest.

“Were you not paying attention earlier? Too busy staring at Jungkook, eh? I’m here to check up on him, make sure you’re all treating him well. He’s had enough shit from self-righteous assholes, wanted to ensure you guys weren’t giving him the same treatment. Like, I respect you and all, but I wouldn’t hesitate to deck you if I found out you were mistreating him. I’ve done it before, and I’d do it again.” Yugyeom says, standing up straight and towering over the elder.

“So, that scandal last year where you punched that guy-“ Hoseok asks.

“Talking some right bullshit about Jungkook sleeping his way to fame, hopefully that punch knocked some sense into the twat.” The youngest seethes, clenching his fists upon recounting the memory. “Almost got me fired, but was worth it for Kook. He’s like a puppy; only ever wants to help and love others, couldn’t hurt a fly.”

“You’re right about that.” Yoongi replies, smiling at Jungkook who’s deeply embroiled in a conversation with Taehyung and Jin about his time in Busan and what scandalous things he got up to (“Nothing!” “You’re sure about that?” “Doesn’t sound like it!” “I swear!” “Sure.”).

“I don’t think we’ve introduced ourselves yet.” Jimin says, stepping forward to stand in front of Yugyeom and extending a small hand. “I’m Park Jimin, vocalist and dancer.”

Yugyeom hesitantly accepts Jimin’s offer, shaking hands lightly. “Kim Yugyeom, vocalist and dancer aswell.”

“Nice to meet you, Jungkook hasn’t mentioned you before.” Jimin says, squeezing ever so slightly before letting his hand drop to his side, still smiling without his eyes.

“Same to you. Jungkook’s a conservative person, it’s his nature. I’m not surprised he hasn’t brought me up, likes to keep his personal life to himself.” Yugyeom replies, tone slightly cold. He turns to face his friend, and calls his name. “Jungkook! Want to go hang out for a while, catch up a bit? That’s okay, right?”

“As long as he keeps us updated through text, then I don’t see why not. Practice was almost done, anyway.” Namjoon allows.

“Managed to get him to stop staying late? Teach me your ways, oh wise one. I’ve been trying for years and I’ve only ever got him to leave early once.” Yugyeom laughs, Jungkook ducking his head in embarrassment.

“Well, we better get going, right? Make the most of our time together, yeah? Let’s go!” Jungkook says hurriedly, grabbing the younger’s arm and practically dragging him out the door, his tenor voice echoing a ‘Why are you like this!’ from the hallway.

“They’re quite the pair, aren’t they? They seem really close.” Namjoon sighs, smiling and shaking his head slightly.

“Yeah… yeah, they do.” Yoongi replies, staring at the spot Jungkook was in just a few moments ago contemplatively because they do seem really close.

A little bit too close for his liking.

It’s only been a month since Yugyeom last saw Jungkook, and as much as he missed his best friend, he didn’t expect much to have come of their time apart. They were used to having conflicting schedules and comebacks, and had long since become accustomed to gaps between seeing each other. Hell, there was even a time where they didn’t see each other for three months straight because Jungkook and GOT7’s album releases were back to back and by the time Jungkook was finished with his promo, Yugyeom was just starting.

They’ve dealt with longer gaps than one month, gaps which only served to prove how much they needed each other. They’d spend days together after them, catching up on everything they’d missed and making up for lost time. And usually, what they’d missed wasn’t that much; a dating scandal here, a saesang encounter there, things they’d been dealing with for years. So, while Yugyeom knew there’d be stuff to explain and tell each other – he’s been positively itching to ask Jungkook about the whole Yoongi thing since that article went viral a couple of weeks back - he didn’t expect quite how much that month could change Jungkook.

Don’t get Yugyeom wrong, he loves the elder with all his heart, but his friend has always been…delicate? No, that’s not the right word. Jungkook is one of the strongest people Yugyeom’s ever known, has dealt with more in his first two decades of life than Yugyeom could ever imagine happening to him for the rest of his days. But he’s always been the type of person to keep to his self, hiding how he truly feels behind a closed mouth smile, slight crinkle of his eyes and tilt of his head.

Seeing Jungkook now, well, Yugyeom barely recognises him. Sure, he has the same features; the same brown doe-eyes that look permanently blown wide; the same rosy hued lips that stretch thin when he laughs; the same honey brown hair that drapes across his small forehead; but they look different somehow.

Jungkook has always been a star. He shines bright both on and off stage, both in person and through a camera lens, and has this uncanny ability to light up a room with only his presence (something Jungkook’s own light seems to have blinded him to, as no matter how much Yugyeom tries to show him just how big an impact he has, it seems to be a task destined to fail from the get-go).

Yes, Jungkook has always shone - but never quite like this. Never with such vibrancy, such blinding shimmer, such brilliance. He’s always been eye-catching, but now he’s positively dazzling. If Yugyeom was a crow, he’d have long since corralled Jungkook into his nest to covet and hoard – and, in a way, he supposes he has. He knows Jungkook isn’t popular in the Idol community - it doesn’t take a genius to see it - and since Yugyeom isn’t one to take credit for victories that he doesn’t feel he’s earned, he acknowledges that the only reason he’s ended up this close to Jungkook is because of the industry-wide boycott against him. If everyone bothered to try and get to know Jungkook, they’d soon see the inaccuracy of their initial judgement and instantly jump at the chance to be considered a friend of his.

Yugyeom may act silly and ditzy, but he’s not an idiot. He knows his time as Jungkook’s only friend is draining rapidly, and soon enough he won’t be able to monopolise the elder’s time anymore; with more and more people seeing the true person beneath his persona and their mental pictures. In fact, he’d bet money that his time has already run out judging by the looks on Jungkook’s new bandmate’s faces. They all looked completely infatuated with the boy - most platonically, though Yugyeom would also put money on a certain blonde-haired rapper holding some more romantic inclinations towards his friend. Jungkook seems to have found a great group of people to surround himself with; people who finally value him and care for him.

Then again, Yugyeom can’t help but feel that ‘Jimin’ guy’s intentions are far less innocent than the others-

“Yugyeom? You in there?” Jungkook’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts, his slender hand waving in front of Yugyeom’s face hastily in an attempt to get his attention.

“Huh? Of course I am, what were you saying?” Yugyeom answers, smiling at the childishness of Jungkook’s soft pout.

“I knew you weren’t listening…” Jungkook says chidingly, lightly shaking his head, though his smile betrays his amusement at his friend’s goldfish-like attention span. “I was telling you about the other day. I was in dance practice and didn’t feel well, and so I was going to go get some water, but Yoongi volunteered to go get me some banana milk from the shop down the road! How nice is that?”

And honestly, it’s insanely hard for Yugyeom to restrain his laughter because it is crystal clear that his best friend has the biggest crush on Yoongi. It’s evident from the dreamy tone to his tenor voice combined with the floaty, blissful, content expression painted on his face. He kind of wants to squeal, honestly, because Jungkook can be so incredibly cute sometimes!

“Oh, yeah…such a kind, selfless act….” Yugyeom grins smugly, tone laced with heavy sarcasm. Jungkook furrows his brows in confusion, puffing out his lower lip.

“What do you- oh, never mind, maybe it’s best I just leave it…” Jungkook trails off, biting at his thumb nail.

“So…” Yugyeom drawls, turning to face Jungkook. “Yoongi, was it? Anything going on there…?”

“Wh-what?! No! Of course not!” Jungkook splutters, the red on his face quickly sprawling down his neck and below his shirt. “We’re just friends! He doesn’t like me in that way!”

“You say he doesn’t like you in that way, but what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Do you like him?”

“You- you can’t just ask things like that, Yugyeom!”

“Why not? Suddenly going shy on me, eh, Kook? Come on, after all we’ve been through? I’m the last person you should be holding back wi-“

“Yugyeom!”

“Fine, fine. Sorry… but you like him, right?”

“Yug- god, fine, yes! I like him! Are you happy?”

“Very.”

“Smug bastard…” Jungkook mutters under his breath, not quite quiet enough to evade Yugyeom’s hearing.

“I heard that! You’re so cruel to me! I only try and help you, and you throw it back in my face and say such mean things!” Yugyeom wails dramatically, wiping at his eyes and dropping his head onto the café table.

Sure, it’s embarrassing. Really embarrassing. All the other patrons are staring at the duo in judgement, some even glaring, but Yugyeom can’t bring himself to mind.

Because Jungkook is laughing, and if he thought his friend was dazzling before, he’s absolutely blinding now.

“What the fuck!” Jimin seethes, slamming the locker shut in frustration. “I bet Jeon’s having a field day right now telling Kim all about what he’s accomplished in his time here; how many people he’s blinded and manipulated. He’s probably laughing his head off. Laughing at my friends. Laughing at me.”

He throws his phone against the wall, the resulting impact creating a sharp cracking sound that echoes throughout the room.

“Shit. Fuck. Shit.” Jimin stares at it, approaching where it lays on the tiled floor slowly. “Bet it’s broken. Fucking Jeon, it’s all his fault! If he never came then I wouldn’t be in this mess. All I’ve done is try to help and what do I get in return? Nothing but fucking betrayal and mockery.”

He leans down and picks up the phone, instantly noticing a spiderweb crack sprawling across the screen from the upper right-hand corner. Assuming it’s dead, he goes to chuck it in his bag but stops when the screen suddenly lights up with a text from the traitor himself.

To: Park Jimin
From Min Yoongi

We need to talk. Meet me in the dance studio at half five.
Received at 4:47pm

And Jimin, well, there’s nothing he wants to do less in the world right now. He’d rather run into a burning building than go talk to that bastard, and he’s about to reply exactly that before he pauses and deletes the unfinished message. Because although he doesn’t want to hear any of the bullshit that Yoongi has to say, he can guarantee that Jeon wouldn’t either. Especially not when the entire conversation is going to revolve around an elaborate scheme involving him personally; an elaborate scheme to fuck him over completely.

Oh, what sweet justice will finally be served. Jeon finding out he’s been manipulated this whole time, and Yoongi getting the blame! The rapper’s apparent soft spot for Jeon can’t save him from the consequences of his actions now.

Finally.

To: Min Yoongi
From: Park Jimin

Fine.
Sent at 4:51pm

To: Jeon Jungkook
From: Park Jimin

Hey! Any chance you could come meet me at the dance studio at like half five? I’ve got a surprise for you! <3
Sent at 4:53pm

To: Park Jimin
From: Jeon Jungkook

Sure. I’ll walk Yugyeom back to his hotel and then head over. And a surprise? You really didn’t have to.
Received at 4:55pm

To: Jeon Jungkook
From: Park Jimin

Oh, it’s no problem at all! It’s what you deserve, after all! :)
Sent at 4:57pm

Upon entering the studio, it’s fairly obvious that there’s already a heated conversation taking place in the main practice room. Now, Jungkook usually wouldn’t be the type to snoop around and eavesdrop but he reasons that since he was invited here by Jimin for something that seemed important, that it’s best he makes sure that no ones waiting for him. Yeah, that sounds about right. Definitely not just his intense curiosity winning out. Not at all.

He walks closer to the doorway, and briefly wonders why the door is hanging wide open when there’s such an intense talk going on. Surely, they’d want some privacy if it was something really important? Suddenly, the pressure weighing on Jungkook’s chest eases slightly, and he exhales a sigh of relief quietly, before tuning in to the three - no, two – voices.

“-just get on with this? I have far better things to be doing with my time than standing here, listening to you rant at me for hours.” The first voice – Jimin, Jungkook’s brain supplies – says.

“What’s the point in you even coming if you’re not going to take anything I say into consideration? I’m trying to help you realise what a mistake you’re making, Jimin.” The second voice – Yoongi – replies coldly.

Jungkook isn’t even in the room with them, yet he can still feel the tension from his hiding spot in the hallway. It’s clear that Jimin and Yoongi are arguing about something – something serious – but Jungkook doesn’t have the faintest idea what it could possibly be. The two had always gotten along just fine in his eyes, he’d never noticed anything amiss.

Though, now he really thinks about it, he does remember a few times he’d caught Jimin sending suspicious looks towards Yoongi. Not to mention that one time where he and Yoongi walked into the kitchen just for Jimin to immediately stand up and leave. He’d chalked it up to the fact it was 5 in the morning, and Jungkook himself has no right whatsoever to judge other people’s moods so early in the day.

“Oh, I’m the one making the mistake, am I? I’m not the one who promised to help with something and then betrayed his best friends? And all for what? Cause you had a hard on for the guy? Pathetic.” Jimin spits, and Jungkook’s momentarily taken aback by just how much venom is in his voice.

“Fuck off, Jimin. You have no clue what you’re talking about. And do you know why? Because you don’t even bother to look. You’re so blinded by this stupid fucking scheme to get back at a guy you’d never even met until a month ago-“ Yoongi replies, the ice in his tone melting and making way for a raging inferno of passion.

“You were too! Don’t go trying to blame me for everything, you seem to forget that you agreed to the plan-“ Jimin cuts in, volume rising with rage.

“Oh, will you shut up about that stupid fucking plan for one minute!” Yoongi seethes, and Jungkook hears a banging sound, one that sounded awfully like the impact of a fist hitting a wall.

“No! No, I won’t shut up about it. You act like you’re all high and mighty, above everyone else, above me, when you’re the last person who has the right to! Need I remind you that you agreed to everything? You didn’t seem to care back then whether or not Jeon was actually a ‘good’ person or not. You strung him along for weeks; pretending to like him, pretending to care about him, pretending to love him-“ Jimin rants, and Jungkook can’t do anything but listen. Listen to the enlightenment Jimin is bringing him. Watch as the blindfold is lifted from his eyes and he can finally see reality. Watch as his fairytale ending cracks and shatters like the glass it was made from – fragile and see-through.

“Shut the fuck up, Jimin!” Yoongi’s voice cries out, heavy and broken.

“What? You don’t really love him, do you?” Jimin laughs, cruel and taunting.

And Jungkook can’t bare to hear Yoongi answer. Can’t listen to Yoongi utter the word ‘no’. Can’t just stand there while Yoongi tears apart the remaining salvageable shreds of his hopes and dreams.

So, with a speed he didn’t know he possessed, he rockets forward and through the open doorway, coming face to face with the duo; Yoongi staring in wide-eyed horror and Jimin smirking with unbidden glee.

“No, of course he doesn’t.” Jungkook says, tears prickling in his eyes and threatening to escape.

“Wait, no- Jungkook-“ Yoongi splutters, frantically stepping forward with an arm outstretched to try grab him, but Jungkook easily steps backwards and out of his reach.

“I- I trusted you.” Jungkook’s voice cracks, and he whips his head upwards to stare Yoongi straight in the eyes. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the look on the elder’s face. The panic, the dismay, the fear. “I should’ve known better.”

And then, Jungkook leaves.

Because it’s all he’s ever been taught to do.

Jimin stares at the spot where Jeon was just moments ago, smiling, before turning back to face Yoongi. Or rather, being yanked back to face Yoongi by a firm grasp on his collar.

“What unfortunate timing.” Is all Jimin has time to say before his head snaps to the right, cheek throbbing from the large fist that makes contact with it.

“I’m gonna fucking kill you, you know that? I’m so fucking done with you!” Yoongi yells, pinning Jimin to the wall, a few centimetres off of the floor.

“That’s what you get for-“ Jimin spits out the cocktail of saliva and blood that’s pooling in his mouth. “for being a fucking traitor.”

And the moment where Yoongi lets his anger melt into shock, grip slackening ever so slightly in disbelief, is what Jimin uses to knee the elder in the stomach, dropping to the floor with the loss of his pressure.

“Bet you’re feeling pretty betrayed right now, huh? How does it feel? To be on the receiving end for once? Now you know how Taehyung has felt for the entirety of this mon-“

“What about me?” Taehyung’s voice calls out, the pair’s heads swivelling around to see their topic of conversation waltz through the empty doorway.

“Taehyung!” Jimin yelps, staring at his best friend in tentativeness.

“What’s going on?” Taehyung asks, staring at Jimin’s bleeding lip and Yoongi’s red knuckles in horror.

“Oh, my.” Yoongi says, smiling vindictively at Jimin. “What unfortunate timing.”

“What the hell’s going on in here!” Taehyung repeats, the added almost-curse only serving to make Jimin more nervous.

“You want to tell him, or should I? You know, about that little plan you started and manipulated me into this full time?” Yoongi growls, and when Jimin can’t find the words to reply, continues. “Really? Cat got your tongue? You seemed to have no problem talking about the full thing just a few minutes ago, right in front of Jungkook? Didn’t take you for the type to get performance anxiety, Jiminie.”

“What- what’s he talking about, Jimin?” Taehyung questions, worry etched onto and tainting his usually ethereal features.

“Um- right, well- I just-“ Jimin stutters incoherently, unable to find a suitable explanation to show his best friend that everything he’d done had been for him.

“What was it you called me earlier again? Oh, yeah – pathetic, right? Yet, after all you’ve done, all the pain you’ve caused, you can’t even say a few sentences? When you were so proud of yourself just moments ago? Perhaps we’re both pathetic then, aren’t we?” Yoongi snarls, grinning maliciously at the younger. “At least I have the guts to say what the plan was, eh? You know, the one where you wanted me to join you in acting insanely nice and caring to Jungkook just to break him when he finally trusted us? That one?”

“Yoongi, stop- stop, please!” Jimin cries, but Yoongi shows no signs of letting up, still embroiled in his own anger and pain.

“The one that you refused to stop, despite the fact I never even wanted to be a part of it from the beginning. Did you ever stop to wonder why everyone else apart from you has been kind and welcoming to Jungkook this full time? Did you think they were all on your side? Guess what? I didn’t tell them about it. You know why? Because I didn’t want them getting dragged into your stupid, fucked-up vendetta that isn’t even yours!” Yoongi’s voice crescendos, the last word echoing throughout the empty practice room.

And after it; silence.

The only sound is the loud, heaving intakes of breath Yoongi is sucking in, attempting to replenish his oxygen supply.

“Jimin?” Taehyung says. “Is that true?”

“Tae- listen, I just-“

“Is it true?”

“…Yes.”

“All of it?”

“I-“

“Jimin.”

“Yes, fine! It’s all true! But please, Tae, hear me out-“

“No. No, Jimin. This is- oh god, this is all so fucked up. Why the hell would you do that?” Taehyung rambles, pacing in a line and grabbing hysterically at his hair.

“I- I was just trying to help you. I was trying to be a good friend! That’s all I wanted! I didn’t want to stand by and let you get hurt! I-“ Jimin pleads, leaning forward desperately with fists clenching, his nails biting crescents into his palm.

“It was none of your business! My issues and problems were- are none of your business, Jimin! If I don’t like someone, that’s up to me how I deal with it, not you! You can’t just go about doing things like this in somebody else’s name! I don’t need you to defend my honour, or whatever the fuck you meant to do! I can deal with things myself!” Taehyung yells, staring crazed at his best friend, hair sticking up in all directions.

“I know you can! Of course, I know you can! I just wanted to- to be a good friend and-“ Jimin begs, but is cut off by Taehyung’s livid voice.

“This isn’t being a ‘good friend’, Jimin! In what world is you fucking someone up mentally – someone that’s already struggling like hell – being a ‘good friend’!”

“I didn’t- I didn’t know. I just wanted to help, I swear! Please!” Jimin cries, a tear slipping down his aching cheek.

“Well, you know what? Next time? Don’t.” Taehyung spits, turning to face Yoongi. “I am still very much pissed at you, but I think finding Jungkook is our biggest issue right now, yeah?”

“Yeah. Come on, let’s go find him.” Yoongi agrees, following Taehyung out of the room, not sparing a single glance at Jimin.

“Please- no, please, don’t leave me! I’m sorry! I just- I just wanted to- to help! I wanted to be a good friend for once! Please!” Jimin sobs, sliding down the mirror until he’s seated on the ground. Wrapping his arms around his knees and burrowing his face into his legs, he continues to cry.

And how ironic that by him doing the complete opposite of what he did back then, he still ends up in exactly the same position.

‘You’re such an awful friend, Jimin’

‘What kind of a friend stands by while that happens to their best friend?’

‘Why didn’t you do something?’

“No, please, stop.”

‘If you were really his best friend, you’d have done something.’

‘You just kept it to yourself instead of telling someone because you were worried they’d think you were lying? Sure.’

‘You’re so fake.’

‘You’re the worst friend ever.’

“No- no, no, no-“

‘No wonder no one likes you.’

‘You’re so selfish. It’s always about you, Jimin.’

‘Did you hear? Apparently, Jimin just let that happen to his best friend?’

‘Some ‘best friend’ he is then.’

‘It should’ve happened to him.’

“No- please, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to! I promise! I wanted to help, I swear!”

‘I heard that the boy won’t ever walk again.’

‘I heard the boy might not survive.’

‘All because you didn’t help him.’

‘It’s all your fault.’

‘Your fault.’

‘Your fault.’

‘Your fau-‘

“STOP!”

Outgoing Call: Namjoon
Made at 5:53pm

Namjoon: Taehyung? What’s up? You never call-

Taehyung: Namjoon, I need your help. I need everyone’s help. Are you all still at the apartment?

Namjoon: Yeah, we’ve been waiting for you three for ages. Jin’s had to leave your food in the oven to keep it warm, but it’s not gonna keep the heat for long-

Taehyung: Namjoon! Please, this is more important than Jin’s cooking!

Namjoon: ‘Oi! My cooking is very important, you brat!’  I’m sure he didn’t mean it that way, Jin. Please calm down and- wait! Put the frying pan down, please!

Taehyung: Guys! Remember, more serious stuff happening right now!

Namjoon: What on earth could be worse than Jin wielding a frying pan like it’s a machete? Jin, please, for God’s sake, put it down!

Taehyung: ‘Jungkook’s run away.’

Namjoon: …what?

Taehyung: So much for taking a subtle approach, Yoongi. Where’s your tact? ‘My tact flew out the window the moment Jimin decided to pull today’s fucking stunt.’

Namjoon: Jimin? Wait, what does Jimin have to do with this?

Taehyung: Listen, it’ll be easier to explain in person. Trust me. Do you know where Yugyeom’s staying?

Namjoon: I’m pretty sure he left a post-it note somewhere with the address and room number for Jungkook, why?

Taehyung: Find it, text me the address, and meet us there.

Namjoon: Taehyung, are you sure we shouldn’t just meet at the apartment and-

Taehyung: No! We have to tell Yugyeom; he needs to know.

Namjoon: *Sigh* Fine, give me two minutes. Jin? Do you know where that post-it note with Yugyeom’s hotel info is? ‘Far as I know it’s on the cabinet beside the couch, why?’ I’ll explain in a minute.

Taehyung: You get it?

Namjoon; Yeah, he’s staying in the Four Seasons Hotel, room number 1711.

Taehyung: Right, we’ll meet you there. I promise we’ll tell you everything when we get there.

Namjoon: You better. Stay safe.

Taehyung: You too.

Call ended at 5:59pm

“Namjoon, Jin, Hoseok! Thank god!” Taehyung calls from the end of the hallway, doubling over and panting heavily once he reaches the three. Yoongi’s no better, slouched against the wall and heaving shallow breaths of oxygen in like he’s never inhaled it before.

“Taehyung, Yoongi. An explanation?” Namjoon says, staring at the two with thinly veiled suspicion and more than a touch of confusion.

“You’re gonna get one, I swear, but it’ll be easier to explain to you guys and Yugyeom at the same time, so we don’t have to tell the story twice.” Taehyung claims, pulling himself upright and using his sleeve to wipe a trickle of sweat from his neck.

Taehyung, with his composure now regained, swiftly moves to the door and knocks sharply three times, stepping back slightly and wringing his hands in anticipation.

Moments later, the door swings open to reveal a pyjama-clad Yugyeom, staring in bewilderment at the quintet.

“Um- pardon my French, but what the fuck? What’re you guys doing here? And why does Yoongi look likes he’s just run a marathon?” The youngest asks, looking pointedly at the smallest of the five, who’s yet to regulate his breathing and is slowly slumping further and further down the garishly papered wall.

“No time for that, can we come in? It’s urgent.” Taehyung says firmly, already starting to step forward, before Yugyeom thrusts his arm forward, blocking him from moving any closer to the entrance.

“Okay, woah, moving pretty quick there, eh? I don’t just let any old man into my room, especially not when they haven’t even brought flowers or chocolates or-“ Yugyeom quips, getting cut off by an increasingly irate – and now normally breathing – Yoongi.

“Not the fucking time, kid.” Yoongi spits, moving forward to stand beside Taehyung.

“Oh, what a charmer. You’re definitely gonna win Jungkook over with that personality, definitely his type; aggressive, condescending, strong case of Napoleon complex. You’re the real package.” Yugyeom snarks, crossing his arms at his front and standing at his full height, dwarfing the elder.

“Same could be said about you, huh? Hot-headed, loudmouthed, bratty-“ Yoongi starts to retort, but is smacked in the arm before he can finish.

“Not the time, Yoongi! Really not the fucking time!” Taehyung grits out. Yugyeom takes the reining in as a victory and shoots Yoongi a smug smirk, pulling a growl from the recipient.

“Giving in just like that? Oh well, makes the whole judging whether you’re worthy of my best friend or not thing easier for me then. Spoiler alert; it’s a firm no.” The youngest grins, teeth bared and lips stretched thin.

“Your opinion isn’t gonna fucking matter unless you shut up and help us find him!” Yoongi yells, fists clenched and face reddened in rage.

“…what did you just say.” Yugyeom asks slowly, smug grin morphing into a much more terrifying expression, one that sends shivers down Yoongi’s spine (not that he’d ever admit it). “What you just said makes it sound like you’ve lost my best friend. In Seoul. A city he’s only lived in for a month. I’m sure that’s not what you meant, right?”

“Um- well- about that… you see-“ Taehyung stutters, slowly edging backwards until he’s completely out of Yugyeom’s reach before rushing out, “JungkookmayormaynothaveranawaybecauseheoverheardJiminandYoongiarguingaboutJimin’splantohurthiminmyhonourhahahahafunnystoryright?”

There are a lot of things Taehyung expects Yugyeom to do; scream, punch him, slam the door in their face, among many others. What he does not expect Yugyeom to do is laugh. But today just seems to be a day hellbent on subverting his expectations, because that’s exactly what the youngest does.

He laughs.

It starts off a slow kind of thing, more like huffing out small puffs of air than anything, but before Taehyung knows it, suddenly it transitions into a full blown laugh, booming and tinged with a slight maniacal edge to it.

And right as Taehyung is beginning to question Yugyeom’s sanity, he stops.

It’s like a switch has been flipped with how quickly the sound vanishes.

And Taehyung thinks he may have preferred the laughter, because now Yugyeom doesn’t just look crazy – he looks murderous.

“You mean to tell me, that my best friend is currently roaming around Seoul – probably in tears at best, having a panic attack at worst – because of you and that slimy bastard?” Yugyeom stares at Yoongi, fingers twitching as if pulling an invisible gun trigger at his sides.

“Yes, that would be correct.” Yoongi confirms, not bothering to try cover up his mistakes. He’d be found out sooner or later anyway, may aswell get it over with as soon as possible.

Yugyeom moves faster than humanly possible, and makes a swing at Yoongi, but his arm is caught firmly by Taehyung, who’s seething.

“Oh, no way! I have had enough punching today! Violence solves nothing, and it certainly isn’t going to bring Jungkook back!” Taehyung yells sternly, glaring at the two, brown irises burning as intense as fire embers. “Now, if you’ve stopped acting like children, can we explain this whole situation and work together to find Jungkook?”

Yugyeom and Yoongi glare at each other one last time, before dropping their gazes to the matted carpet in submission.

“Thank you. Now, can we enter your room, Yugyeom? It’ll be a whole lot less taxing to explain if we’re all sitting down.” Taehyung asks, and upon receiving a nod of confirmation from the youngest, strides in the room, the other five following close behind.

“Okay, so tell me if I’m misunderstanding anything; Jungkook accidently hurt your brother when he was younger, you’ve hated him ever since, when your manager announced Jungkook would be joining BTS, he made up a plan to fuck him over emotionally in some backwards way of supporting you, roped Yoongi into it, thought everyone was on his side, got pissed that both you and Taehyung ended up liking him, and orchestrated an exposal of the full thing to Jungkook, and when Jungkook found out, he ran away. That it?” Yugyeom summarises, right hand holding his chin, thumb stroking it pensively.

“Pretty much. I thought the full time that Jimin was obsessed with him – in a good way, or a better way, I guess – and I was right about the obsession, just not the reasoning and intentions.” Taehyung sighs, dropping his head into his hands in exhaustion.

“Listen, I’m sorry for deliberately antagonising you earlier, Yoongi. I thought you were in on the whole thing willingly, not that you’d been forced into it with some emotionally manipulative bullshit.” Yugyeom says, offering his hand to the elder.

“I accept your apology, and want to apologise for how I acted aswell. I was being immature and irrational, and taking my worry for Jungkook out on you. It was unfair.” Yoongi responds, rubbing his neck sheepishly with his left hand and accepting the handshake with the other.

“It’s all good. I get it, I’d probably have acted the same. Funny how much Jungkook impacts us, even when he’s not here. Just wish I could get him to realise it.” Yugyeom says, trailing off into a mutter.

“Do you have any idea where he could be? Did he take you anywhere today that sticks out in your mind?” Namjoon asks, and Yugyeom makes a face of extreme concentration and recollection.

“Ugh, not really. He just took me to a Café and then walked me back to the hotel, and I can’t imagine he’s sitting in a café full of people right now.” Yugyeom groans, flopping backwards onto the couch. “Wait, is the location tracker on his phone on?”

“Nope. He must have switched it off at some point, it’s not showing anything when I check his contact.” Hoseok sighs, pocketing his phone.

“I guess our best plan of action is to split up into pairs to cover more ground, and try searching all the places we’ve been with him during our time here. That, and keep calling and messaging him in the off chance that he actually answers.” Namjoon states, standing up. “I’ll go with Jin, Yoongi will go with Hoseok and Yugyeom, you can go with Taehyung. We’ll all go in different directions once we leave the hotel; Jin and I go left, Yoongi and Hoseok go right and Taehyung and Yugyeom go straight forward.”

A chorus of agreements resound from the other five as they all stand up too, pairing off with their respective partners and walking towards the door. They’re about to leave, when suddenly the exit is blocked by a small figure.

“Wait! Please, let me come with you!” The tenor voice cries out in desperation.

“Why on earth would we let scum like you come help. For all we know, this could be another part of your stupid plan.” Yugyeom spits, voice full of venom while staring at the person with the heat of a thousand suns.

“I want to explain myself, not only to all of you, but to Jungkook as well. I want to help find him, this whole situation is my fault after all.” The person – Jimin – replies. He looks like hell upon further inspection; red, irritated eyes, cheek puffy from its earlier collision with Yoongi’s fist, body wracked with tremors and lips bleeding in multiple places.

“And why should we believe you now, when all you’ve done this past month is lie.” Yoongi says coldly, glaring at the younger.

“I can’t make you believe me, and to be honest, I would be shocked if you did. But if actions speak louder than words, please allow me the opportunity to show you instead. I don’t deserve forgiveness, I’m not asking for that, all I’m asking for is a chance to start repenting for all my mistakes. To let me lay the foundations of the long road to make everything up to Jungkook. Please.” Jimin begs, unshed tears glistening and fists clenched in passion.

The other six turn and share a few looks, before Yugyeom turns to face Jimin.

“I still don’t trust you. And I still hate you. But we can use all the help we can get considering the range of possible places Jungkook could be. Here’s your chance, don’t fucking blow it.”

Call log
Dong-A University Hospital – Call received at 7:04pm
Kim Taehyung – 17 missed calls
Jung Hoseok – 12 missed calls
Kim Seokjin – 14 missed calls
Kim Namjoon – 7 missed calls
Park Jimin – 1 missed call
Kim Yugyeom – 21 missed calls
Min Yoongi – 26 missed calls

‘You have missed a call from Kim Taehyung at 7:47pm.
Press one to listen to the voicemail.
Press two to pho-
You have pressed one.
Voicemail recording will begin playing in five seconds.’

Jungkook? Kook? Please phone me back. Everyone’s fucking terrified right now; I’ve never seen Yoongi closer to tears, and that guy usually has the emotional range of a teaspoon. Listen, we’ll let you do whatever you want long as you get back to us. Even if its just a text message saying you’re safe. You can book a hotel miles away or phone Hyjun and tell him we all suck or tell the world that Hoseok still wets the bed - ‘Fuck off Taehyung, I do not!’ - Keep telling yourself that, big man! Anyway, please let us know you’re okay. We care. All of us do.

‘Voicemail recording finished.
Press one to listen again.
Press two to delete.
Press th-
You have pressed two.
Voicemail will be deleted.’

‘You have missed a call from Jung Hoseok at 7:49pm.
Press one to listen to the voicemail.
Press-
You have pressed one.
Voicemail recording will begin playing in five seconds.’

First of all, ignore everything Taehyung just said about me. It’s not true. I swear. And second, please phone one of us back! I get why you’re isolating yourself, but we just wanna know you aren’t laying dead in a ditch somewhere – ‘Oh my god what if he’s dead we need to find him we need to-‘ ‘Good fucking job, Hobi!’ – Sorry, sorry! Anyway, please check in soon! I think Jin’s gonna drop dead in a minut- got it, got it, sorry guys! *whispering* Please don’t be dead.

‘Voicemail recording finished.
Press one to listen again.
Press two to delete-
You have pressed two.
Voicemail will be deleted.’

‘You have missed a call from Kim Seokjin at 7:52pm.
Press one to listen to the voicemail-
You have pressed one.
Voicemail recording will begin playing in five seconds.’

Jeon Jungkook! You sure know how to cause a lot of bother, you brat! Do you not know how worried everyone is about you! Don’t even get me started on how dangerous it is to be roaming about Seoul by yourself when you’ve only lived here for a month! Come back to the dorm before you lose service, you can’t use google maps without a connection! And another thing! Do you even have a coat with you? Yoongi said the last he saw you, you were only wearing a jumper, do you not realise how cold it gets at night! You could catch the flu, or get pneumonia, or- or- god. God, please, just take care of yourself. I just- I’m sorry. I’m not angry at you, I’m angry at myself. For not noticing everything that was going on. For not putting a stop to it. For not being a better friend. Maybe if I’d been a better friend to you, it wouldn’t be so easy for you to believe I never cared. That none of us did. You’ve got to know that we truly cared for you, right? Come on, you’re smart, Kookie. Hah, you get it? Like a ‘smart cookie’? Never mind, it’s not as fun when you aren’t here to make those faces after it.  Just- stay safe. And call one of us. Please.

‘Voicemail recording finished.
Press one to listen again.
Press two to delete.
Press three to-
You have pressed two.
Voicemail will be deleted.’

‘You missed a call from Kim Namjoon at 7:56pm.
Press one to listen to the-
You have pressed one.
Voicemail recording will begin playing in five seconds.’

Jungkook. You’re going through a lot right now, I get that. You’re probably confused and angry and hate all of us, but running away isn’t going to solve anything. You need time alone, that’s okay, but we just need to know that you’ll come back to us after it. We need to know you aren’t going to put yourself in danger. We need to know you’re going to take care of yourself, be safe, and not do anything reckless. Just message one of us, let us know where you are, and we’ll give you some time. Just as long as we know. We’re all worried about you, and though you might not want to believe it at this point in time, it’s the truth. We all care and the thing we want most right now is for you to get in contact and let us know our worries are unfounded. Okay?

‘Voicemail recording finished.
Press one to listen again.
Press two to delete.
Press three t-
You have pressed two.
Voicemail will be deleted.’

‘You missed a call from Park Jimin at 7:59pm.
Press one to listen to the voicemail.
Press two to phone Park Jimin.
Press three to send a message to Park Jimin. 
Press four to delete the voicemail.
You have pressed four.
Voicemail will be deleted.’

‘You missed a call from Kim Yugyeom at 8:02pm.
Press one to listen to the voicemail.
Press two to-
You pressed one.
Voicemail recording will begin playing in five seconds.’

You’ve really done it this time, Koo. God, when you do something, you don’t do it halfway, do you? I can’t imagine how shitty you’re feeling, and I wish I could. I wish I could take all the pain they’ve inflicted on you and transfer it onto myself, or even better, turn it all back on them. Trust me when I tell you I’ve given them a good lashing for it. Even worse than I was that one time in the bar, remember? The sleaze who wouldn’t leave you alone? Even. Worse. I’m always on your side, Kook, no matter what. I’ll always be there for you like you’ve always been there for me. Like you were there those nights I felt I couldn’t go on any longer, that the idol industry was too much for me, that I wasn’t enough for it. No one else was there, none of my group, none of my family – it was you, Kook, and you alone. I love you so much, you know I do, and I’d do anything for you. So please, listen to your boys. Listen to what they’re telling you, because from what I’ve seen, every single word of it’s true. They all love you in their own way. One of them fucked up, majorly, and I don’t expect – or want -  you to forgive him that easily. I want him to work for it. But the fact that he’s with us right now leading a mini search party for you? I think he’s already acknowledged the hard road ahead of him, and has decided to take that first step. All they want is you, home safely. All I want is you, home safely. Fuck- Kook, I just- I don’t know what I’d do without you. I need you. I need you to be safe right now. I need you to be here, with me, even if you’re sobbing into my arms or practicing for when you deck Jimin. I just need you. Please, call me back. I- shit. Please.

‘Voicemail recording finished.
Press one to listen again.
Press two to delete.
Press three to send a message.
Press four to save voicemail.
Press five to phone Kim Yugyeom.
You have pressed five.
Calling Kim Yugyeom.’

‘Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Call cancelled at 8:07pm.’

‘You missed a call from Min Yoongi at 8:05pm.
Press one to listen to the voicemail.
Press two to phone Min Yoongi.
Press three to send a mes-
You have pressed one.
Voicemail recording will begin playing in five seconds.’

Jungkook, for the love of god, please answer. I get if you don’t want to talk to me, I won’t make you, but please answer someone. We’re all worried about you, especially Yugyeom. You have every right to be upset, I don’t wanna make out that you aren’t allowed to feel that way or want to be alone for a while, but please just let one of us know where you are. You might not believe me after today, but if you trust me in one thing, it’s that all I want is for you to be safe. It’s not the best time to be saying this- fuck, I mean, is there ever really a good time? I guess so, but I don’t have that luxury at the moment. I wanted to confess in person. I don’t know where or when, I always just kinda assumed that in the moment, I would know it was right for it. Maybe it would’ve been at another cat café, with you cooing over the kittens and snapping silly pictures of me. It might’ve been in the park, with you eating that ice cream you love so much, some dotted on your nose, and I’d laugh and wipe it off and stare. Or maybe- shit, I don’t- I don’t fucking know. Anything would’ve been better than this. I love you, Jeon Jungkook. I love everything about you. I love the way your eyes crinkle shut every time you laugh. I love the way you scrunch your whole face up like you’ve just bitten into the sourest of lemons when you’re acting upset at me. I love it when we’re watching Iron Man for the fiftieth time on the couch, and you fall asleep, and snuggle closer instinctively like you want to be closer even in unconsciousness. I’ve always felt alone. Even at a concert with thousands of people, I always felt like I was the only person there, surrounded by a bunch of holograms. I’ve never had a home, but I feel like I’ve finally found one in you. Fuck, it sounds cliché as hell but I can’t bring myself to give a shit right now – I’d go anywhere with you. Because you’re my home. And wherever you are, is where I want to be. I need you. Please, just- just come back to me. It’s selfish to ask, I know it is, but god, please. I can’t lose you. Come back and slap me, come back and make fun of this stupid voicemail, come back and do whatever you want. Just come back. Please.  

‘Voicemail recording finished.
Press one to listen again.
Press two to delete.
Press three to send a message.
Press four to save voicemail.
Press five to call Min Yoongi.
Voicemail recording finished.
Press one to listen again.
Press two to delete.
Press three to-
You have pressed three.
Type your message into the box shown and press send when finished.’

Draft: I’m at the airport.

Send message?

Message to Min Yoongi sent.

‘To: Yoongi

I’m at the airport.

Send message?’

Jeon Jungkook is definitely not stupid (a statement the dozens of glaring red F’s scrawled on every math test he’s ever sat would strongly disagree with).

He may not be the brightest crayon in the box when it comes to academia, but he’s very well versed in a little something called ‘common sense’. And as much as his reality is warped by the tendrils of anxiety that cling to the edge of his mental vision, he’s smart enough to know when something doesn’t seem right – when his conclusions feel wrong. He knows a fair bit about miscommunication – again, courtesy of his devoted and ever-present companion, Anxiety – and this whole situation reeks of it.

Jungkook is well aware that he may have jumped the gun slightly; barging in, cutting off Jimin and fleeing the room before Yoongi, shocked and scared and in so much pain, even had the chance to form a single sentence in his defence. However, Jungkook is also aware that he was fairly justified in his reaction and that, upon finding out they’d been deceived and manipulated by people they’d considered dear friends (and one perhaps even more), most others would react in the exact same way, or worse. Yet somehow that knowledge isn’t enough to dispel the immense guilt curling it’s cracked hands around his throat, clenching tighter with every second.

If he’d just waited a few seconds longer before intervening, stayed a few seconds more before leaving, maybe he’d know the truth of the matter. It couldn’t be that Yoongi played him this full time. No, Jungkook would not let that reality take first place in the likelihood race. Because Jungkook knows a broken man when he sees one; he supposes cohabiting a house with a monster like his father reaped a positive in the end after all; and Yoongi, for all the elder tried to hide it, clearly fell into that category.  

Jungkook’s not oblivious enough to think that someone broken would never curse another with their fate – that level of naivety was beaten out of him long, long ago – but he had never once considered the possibility that Yoongi would intentionally hurt him and even now, with the evidence presented to him on a silver platter, Jungkook just can’t find it in himself to accept that truth. He’d like to think he’s a good enough judge of character to be able to tell intent to cause suffering apart from an accident of circumstance but then again, he was wrong about Jimin, wasn’t he? Who’s to say he’s not completely off the mark with Yoongi too.

But Jungkook has always been the type of person to let his heart make his decisions for him, and he’s not going to start giving his logic-driven brain the honour of taking the reins now of all times. Because Jungkook knows exactly what his brain would do – what it would say.

‘He does not care for you. Be honest with yourself; why would he? You have been nothing but a drain, an attention-leeching brat throughout the duration of your time in Seoul. What have you done to help him? Exactly: nothing. Just accept it. Denial did not suit you as a kid, and it certainly does not suit you now.’

Funny, his brain sort of sounds like a wicked, warped amalgamation of his parental figures: the blasé insults of his father and the bluntness of his uncle (though the familiar warmth is most certainly lacking, a stark alteration which is not appreciated in the slightest). It’s cruel and unsympathetic and indifferent and honest.

God, Jungkook can hate the voice all he wants, but there really is no denying it – the voice is right. Realistically, there’s no viable reason for Yoongi to harbour anything but dislike towards him. Realistically, Yoongi should be happy at this turn of events. Realistically, Yoongi should have never cared for Jungkook at all.

But people, Jungkook has come to learn, don’t always do what’s expected of them, don’t always do what they ‘should’. Some people live to subvert expectations; to be anarchists of societal expectation. Some people take said societal expectations, say ‘fuck you’, and wave a massive rainbow flag in the face of them at a concert in front of thousands.

No, Jungkook thinks, some people aren’t predictable in the slightest.

Yoongi isn’t predictable in the slightest.

Yoongi is a mess of contradictions; guarded but open, quiet but loud, and fraught with self-hatred but oh, so loving.

The Yoongi that Jungkook knew was an enigma.

The Yoongi that Jungkook knew was everything Jungkook never knew he needed.

The Yoongi that Jungkook knew was the Yoongi that Jungkook loved.

And as long as there is any sliver of a possibility that the Yoongi Jungkook knew was the real Yoongi, then Jungkook won’t let go.

He’ll banish the cold logic of his apathetic brain.

He’ll listen to his heart – fractured and weeping.

‘To: Yoongi

I’m at the airport.

Message sent.’

He always was a slave to his emotions after all; the good, and the bad.

Min Yoongi makes mistakes often.

As someone who tries to take accountability for his actions - both those good and not so good - being honest with himself whenever he’s at fault for something has never been an issue. Raised his voice or snapped at Taehyung? His fault. Late to dance practice once…twice…maybe fou-fine, nine times? Definitely only himself to blame. Dropped and broke one of Seokjin’s favourite glasses? Yep, that was totally on him (also a great lesson on why not to try grab his drink while staring at a music composition on his computer screen).

Min Yoongi has never liked people that make excuses for their actions.

He’s grown very skilled at masking his reactions with a blank, vacant stare over the years. Where there once would have been a raise of the eyebrows, there’s now only the slightest of twitches. Instead of an audible scoff, now all that anyone can hear is the overwhelming silence while he stares back impassively. Sure, he’s heard that he can be a tad unnerving or intimidating sometimes because of it, but that’s much preferable to being hated for speaking his mind. He learned long ago that it was best to keep his mouth shut and vent in the shower a couple of hours later, with no one bar his own foggy reflection to bear witness to it.

On all accounts, Min Yoongi should be easily taking responsibility for his part in hurting Jungkook. It was partially his fault after all. So why is it that right now he can only come up with reasons why he isn’t to blame?

‘You agreed to Jimin’s plan’

“But I was manipulated into doing it.”

‘You carried out Jimin’s plan for a while’

“But I didn’t want to, I just didn’t want to be a bad friend.”

‘You didn’t tell Jungkook the truth about Jimin’

“But I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.”

‘You yelled at Jimin for doing the exact same thing you were doing at first’

“But I only did it because I felt I had no choice, Jimin did it for longer and-“

‘You’re making excuses’

“But… I am, aren’t I?“

How ironic is it that he’s now turning into the very thing he’s despised for years, doing the thing he’s always prided himself on never doing. Why is it so hard to take accountability for hurting Jungkook? Accepting it shouldn’t be this hard, so why does his heart seem to echo a dull thud and cry out in pain whenever reminded. Wasn’t that only in book descriptions usually? Surely it can’t be possible to actually feel your heart ache? But then why does it feel like his chest is both empty and full, both desperate for more yet also less?

God, when did he become such a philosophical fool?

‘Echo a dull thud and cry out in pain’? Who does he think he is, T.S Eliot or something? Here he is, sitting in the back seat of a taxi squashed between Taehyung and Namjoon, waxing poetry about how sad he feels and how hard this is for him while Jungkook is at the airport; ready to leave Seoul forever and take his broken heart and shattered trust with him.

And it is his fault.

“-earth to Yoongi, is anyone in there?”

Jolting upright and out of his thoughts, Yoongi turns in the direction of the voice and meets Taehyung’s intense stare.

“Hellooo?” A pair of slender fingers snap two inches in front of his face, before the rest of the hand joins them in a rapid wave. “I’ve got pretty eyes, I get it, it’s hard not to, but this really isn’t the time to get lost in them.”

“Tch’, how can you be like this right now?” Yoongi scoffs, eyes slanting slightly and fists clenched.

“Like what?” the younger pouts, tilting his head to the left confusedly.

“Like- like, ugh, you know – you!”

“Uh, I really don’t know actually-“ Taehyung smirks, poking his left pointer finger into his check in a mockery of deep thinking.

“Happy! Laughing, joking around, acting like Jungkook isn’t about to leave for Busan! Acting like everything is normal! It’s not normal, nothing about this is normal!” The elder exclaims, twisting his whole body sharply to face the younger in anger.

Taehyung freezes, playful grin faltering before dropping fully into a flat line. His entire aura seems to darken, bright eyes dimming as his shoulders droop and a sigh escapes him. And then there’s silence, Taehyung looks like he’s having an internal battle of some sort, before he takes a breath and finally begins to speak again.

“I know. I know this isn’t normal. You know that, right? I might act like an airhead that can’t read a room, but you know me better than that, don’t you?” he questions, voice just teetering on the edge of pleading.

“I didn’t like him at first. Jungkook, I mean. Way to state the obvious, Taehyung, you’re probably thinking, but I didn’t. In fact, I think I thought I hated him, despised him even. I think I thought that he was the worst person in existence. But you know what? I don’t think I ever hated him. I didn’t hate what he represented or his performances or any of that. I don’t even think I hated him for what happened that day.”

Taehyung stops for a brief second, and he looks so wrecked that Yoongi feels flooded with guilt for daring to accuse him of not caring. The tears of self-loathing and the agony in his expression prove that he cares more than Yoongi ever realised. He scrubs at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweatshirt quickly before continuing, dropping his hands back into his lap.

“I think I hated that I reminded myself of him. That when I left my family to come and train here in Seoul - when my parents said it was either them or this and I chose this - I abandoned my little brother who admired me so much. I hurt him even more than Jungkook did that day, because I wasn’t just an Idol who didn’t quite live up to expectations; I was his big brother – the person that was meant to be there for him through thick and thin. In a way, I’ve probably always thought that I was even worse than I thought Jungkook was, and just piled on extra resentment for him to try hide from it.”

“And you know what? I’m scared. I’m scared shitless right now. I’m terrified that we’re going to be too late, or that he won’t hear us out, or that he will hear us out and decide it’s not enough for him to stay.” His breath hitches on the last word, and he bites his wobbling lip harshly. “I- I am scared. I’m so scared, Yoongi. But being scared isn’t going to help anything right now. Beating myself up over every mistake I’ve ever made or every little thing I ever said to him isn’t going to convince him to come back. But you know what might? Remembering how much I’ve come to care for him in this past month and getting ready to prove it to him.”

And when did this happen? When did Taehyung become so mature? Yoongi feels a slight disconnect between Taehyung and the speech he’s just made, because Taehyung was never like this before.

Don’t get him wrong, Yoongi knows Taehyung is smart. He’s always known that, it’s impossible to live with someone for four years and not know that. But he was never this insightful, never this able to put aside his emotions in order to deal with something like a seasoned professional. It’s humbling to see someone two years his junior dealing with this situation a million times better than he is.

Maybe he should take a leaf out of Taehyung’s book for a change and focus on doing all he can to make sure the worst doesn’t happen instead of considering it an inevitability? He can’t control everything that happens and he’s not a psychic. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen when he sees Jungkook in the airport. He doesn’t know if Jungkook will accept his apology. He doesn’t know if Jungkook will accept his love. But he does know one thing: that he really owes Taehyung an apology.

“You’re right. I’m sorry for blowing up at you like that, Taehyung. It wasn’t fair of me to think I knew how you were feeling just because you seemed like you were fine. I’m scared and worried, sure, but that’s no excuse. You’ve gotten much wiser in this past month, probably even more than me now.” Yoongi says, huffing a small laugh and raising his eyebrows.

“Thanks for apologising, Yoongs. It takes a lot to admit when you’ve made a mistake… I would know.” The younger replies before grinning wide and winking cheekily. “And I learned from the best, didn’t I? What was it you said a few weeks back again? ‘One day that mouth is gonna get you in big trouble, and half-hearted apologies won’t fix it.’ You were spot on with that one; half-hearted apologies really aren’t going to be enough this time.”

“Yeah, well, I’m going to need all the practice I can get if I’m going to be able to convince Jungkook that I’m sorry. This is one time where I really wish I wasn’t right.” Yoongi grimaces, casting his eyes to his fidgeting fingers tapping nervously on his thigh.

“Hm, I think you’ll manage it though.” Taehyung smiles, turning to look out of the window as the airport entrance comes into view. “I think you’ll be just fine.”