Preface

First Light
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/4617531.

Rating:
Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning:
No Archive Warnings Apply
Category:
Gen
Fandom:
Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Character:
Ogiwara Shigehiro, Kuroko Tetsuya, Kagami Taiga, Kagami Taiga's Father
Additional Tags:
Angst, Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Friendship, Hugs, Cookies, Family
Language:
English
Series:
Part 3 of Morning Light
Stats:
Published: 2015-08-20 Words: 6,540 Chapters: 1/1

First Light

Summary

Ogiwara knows he made a mistake when he ignored Kuroko's messages for so long. Now, he doesn't know how to make up for lost time. Fortunately, Kuroko is too stubborn to give up.

(Come Morning Light tag.)

First Light

From: Kuroko
>>Hello. I hope you all are doing well. I wanted to let you know that my name has changed as of today.
>>I am no longer Kuroko Tetsuya. I have been adopted by Kagami Hiroshi, and my name is Kagami Tetsuya.
>>Thank you. Have a good day.

Ogiwara didn't know how he should respond. Or maybe he shouldn't respond at all. Kuroko was always rather formal and precise in his speech patterns, but this was more than usual. It was obviously a mass text, sent to everyone in Kuroko's contacts. Ogiwara tried not to be hurt by that, by the fact that he hadn't warranted a personalized message. But, well, maybe he deserved it.

After Seirin won the Winter Cup, Ogiwara had badly wanted to race down to the court and throw his arms around Kuroko with the rest of his teammates. He held himself back though, aware that this was Seirin's moment and they richly deserved to celebrate amongst themselves. What they had just done was amazing. They were clearly a closely knit team full of amazing people who trusted each other fully. Just watching them made all of Ogiwara's pains and hurts related to basketball melt away from his spirit, excoriated as in brilliant sun. All that was left to him was the desire to play, to find a new team with whom he could strive to achieve something even close to what the Seirin team had with each other.

He should have at least texted Kuroko after that, or sent an email, or even called him. All of the contact information was still in his phone. But he'd felt too guilty, after the months of silence, of never responding to the messages Kuroko sent until Kuroko just gave up. He'd heard later that Kuroko had visited his old school, and Ogiwara's kouhai had given him the armband Ogiwara had left behind, as he'd wished for but had been unable to do himself.

He shouldn't have made Kuroko have to seek him out that way, but he'd just been...so hurt. So ashamed. He had been afraid he wouldn't be able to look Kuroko in the face if they met in person, and every text, every message, had just reminded Ogiwara of that awful moment in that final game. The final basketball game of his life, he had decided then. So he had ignored Kuroko, pushed him away from a distance, and he knew that he deserved to lose Kuroko's friendship after treating him like that.

Kuroko had seemed happy to see him at the Winter Cup. When Ogiwara yelled from the stands and held out that basketball, showing that he still carried it with him, Kuroko had wept. And he smiled, the kind of broad, happy grin Ogiwara had only seen on Kuroko's face maybe once or twice when they were very young and first discovering just how much fun they could have together on a basketball court. Ogiwara should have gone to him afterward, but he hadn't.

And now... It was too late, wasn't it? Ogiwara had let months go by without attempting to fix things, to contact Kuroko and try to regain what they'd lost. They couldn't just pick up where they left off, not after the way Ogiwara had treated him, and he knew that. It was going to take work, and time, and Kuroko might not even want to try.

It was frustrating. Ogiwara wondered what was wrong with him. Maybe another version of himself, in another world, would have had the courage to fix things. Maybe some other Ogiwara would have texted Kuroko, or called him, or gone down to meet him on the court. Maybe they could have been friends again, still going to different schools but both pursuing their basketball, encouraging each other with their messages and promising to meet up someday on the court.

But he was this Ogiwara, and he hadn't done that. He didn't know how to fix it. He didn't know where to begin.

Something had happened to Kuroko. Something big. Ogiwara didn't know why he'd been adopted all of sudden, and he dreaded to imagine the possibilities. Had his parents died? Some kind of accident or illness? Or was it just a family thing, distant relatives or grandparents who had needed an heir and chose Kuroko as the best alternative to childlessness? Ogiwara knew that happened sometimes, so it was a possibility. But he also knew Kuroko didn't have any siblings, so why would his parents have given up their only heir to someone else?

He kept coming back to something bad. Something bad had happened to Kuroko, to his family. Kuroko was just a few years away from being old enough to care for himself, and yet instead of having a custodial guardian in the absence of his parents, he had been adopted. What did it mean? Ogiwara didn't know. And he had lost the right to find out. It would be selfish of him to text back, demanding answers to satisfy his curiosity, when he had ignored Kuroko for so many months.

So he did nothing. He didn't answer. But it bothered him. It itched and burned at the edges of his mind. What had happened to Kuroko...to Kagami Tetsuya? Was he okay? Was his new family taking care of him? Who was Kagami Hiroshi? Was he kind? Would he treat Kuroko with the care and attention he deserved? Kuroko deserved nothing but the best in a new family, no matter why he had been adopted.

Ogiwara thought about almost nothing else for days. He was even more clumsy and forgetful than usual. He misplaced several homework assignments, and his mother scolded him twice for leaving his things around the house. When he tripped walking on a flat surface because he hadn’t been paying attention to his feet, he knew it had gone far enough.

He had to do something. He had to try. Even if it didn’t work out and he and Kuroko couldn’t be friends anymore, Ogiwara still had to make an attempt to apologize for his silence.

By the time he found his phone, though (buried in the bottom of his bookbag under loose pencils and a layer of crumbs), a series of texts was already waiting.

From: Kuroko
>>Ogiwara-kun, I apologize if this message is unwelcome.
>>I have been thinking about you lately. A lot of things have happened to me, and the past has returned to haunt me in various ways.
>>Much of it has been resolved, but some hasn’t. I still can’t forget that last match of middle school. It troubles me greatly.
>>I’m sorry I never contacted you after you came to the Winter Cup. I wanted to, but I was afraid. That was cowardly of me.
>>Could we meet? I would very much like to talk to you. I have much to apologize for.
>>Also, I want to introduce you to my new brother. I think you would get along.
>>It’s all right if you don’t want to see me. Just let me know. I’ll abide by your wishes.

Ogiwara’s hand shook. He looked at the clock. It was already late Sunday night. Too bad. If he could, he would race to meet Kuroko wherever he wanted, right this second.

To: Kuroko
>>Yes, I want to see you. Very much. I’m sorry, too. I should have contacted you.
>>Where can we meet? Can I come to your house? Perhaps tomorrow after school? I would love to meet your brother.
>>I hope you’re okay. I’ve been worried.

He frowned at Kuroko’s texts while he waited for a reply. He didn’t like how apologetic they were. Why was Kuroko being so down on himself? None of this was his fault. The distance between them was only Ogiwara’s doing, no one else’s, and he was relieved beyond measure that Kuroko had reached out to him. That he hadn’t ruined things irreparably.

From: Kuroko
>>Please don’t worry about me. I’m sorry to have troubled you.
>>Yes, please come to my home tomorrow evening, if it’s not too far out of your way. Here’s the address.
>>I’m still recovering from an illness, so I won’t stay late at basketball practice after school. Come whenever you’re ready.
>>Taiga-nii and Hiroshi-san are excited to meet you. That’s my new brother and my new dad.
>>Taiga-nii says he will make snacks. Hiroshi-san says to warn you that he’ll want to ask you a lot of questions about what I was like in elementary school.
>>You are to feel free to ignore them, he says. I apologize in advance if this sounds too burdensome.

Ogiwara laughed and flopped over onto his back on his bed. He couldn’t believe how relieved he felt, just from these few sentences. Kagami Hiroshi and Kagami Taiga, huh? They sounded like a wonderful dad and brother. It was good to know that Kuroko’s new family was kind and interested in stories about him and his past.

To: Kuroko
>>Great! That sounds perfect. I won’t be troubled at all.
>>I’m looking forward to seeing you, Kuroko. We have a lot to talk about.
>>But I’ll leave it till tomorrow. For now, sleep well. I hope you feel better. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been sick.

From: Kuroko
>>I’m fine, really. Better than I’ve ever been. Sorry I worried you again.
>>I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, Ogiwara-kun.

Ogiwara slipped his phone onto his nightstand and grinned at the ceiling, almost euphoric. Kuroko had contacted him. He wanted to see him. It wasn’t too late to fix things.

He rolled over on his side and stared at the wall with a sudden frown. But what had happened? Kuroko hadn’t only been adopted suddenly, he’d also been sick? Had Ogiwara been right in his early guess that something terrible had happened to Kuroko’s family? Not only his parents, but Kuroko had suffered injury as well?

Not only that, but Kuroko was calling his new family by their given names. Ogiwara had never heard Kuroko call anyone by anything but their family name plus an honorific, no matter how close they were. He supposed it made sense, for Kuroko to call family that, but it still felt odd. They must be very familiar with each other already. Anyway, it was another point in the Kagami family’s favor, as far as Ogiwara was concerned.

Oh well. He would learn all about it tomorrow. There was no point in worrying for now.

Ogiwara slept better than he had in days.

The next evening, Ogiwara knocked on the door of Kuroko’s new apartment, bouncing from foot to foot in his eagerness to get inside. No one answered immediately, so he knocked again, longer and harder. “We’re coming, we’re coming!” a voice yelled from inside, and then he heard footsteps coming closer on the other side of the door.

A huge teen with a fierce scowl and a head of dark red hair opened the door, already complaining. “What’s the rush, idiot? I was on the way the first time you pounded on the door…”

Ogiwara looked up at him, eyebrows raising as he swayed back to take him in. This was Kuroko’s teammate, the jumping guy who had basically carried the game in the last few minutes of the Winter Cup, though everyone in Seirin had been absolutely necessary to pull off that miracle upset. “You’re...you’re Taiga-nii?”

Kagami Taiga’s eyes softened. “You must be Ogiwara. Tetsu-chan has been…”

“Taiga-nii.” Kuroko’s voice was quiet. He appeared behind Kagami, looking over his shoulder to the door. He started to step forward, then hesitated, something wary in his expression.

Ogiwara would have none of it. “Kuroko!”

He bulled past Kagami and practically ran into his friend with his arms stretched out, instantly forgetting all of his worries and guilt in the face of Kuroko’s presence right here, right now. He wrapped his arms around Kuroko and squeezed tight, then back off a little with an arm around his shoulders, remembering too late that Kuroko might not welcome his usual overenthusiastic greeting after the way Ogiwara had ignored him.

He was ready to let go, if Kuroko wanted him to, but Kuroko surprised him. Instead of stiffening or going still, the way he usually did when Ogiwara grabbed him like this, he leaned into Ogiwara’s shoulder. Indeed, he might have even sighed in happiness or relief. “Ogiwara-kun. It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah, you too.” Suddenly hesitant, Ogiwara shifted his weight to pull away. He really didn’t have the right to be this familiar with Kuroko right now.

But Kuroko didn’t let him go. When Ogiwara started to shift, he leaned into him harder, following the movement. Confused, Ogiwara tightened the arm around his shoulders. Was this...was this Kuroko’s version of clinginess? He wasn’t just tolerating physical affection, he wanted it?

Ogiwara cast a questioning glance to Kagami, who was watching them with sympathy on his face. Kagami caught Ogiwara’s glance and gave him a solemn nod, as if telling him to keep doing what he was doing. Then he tilted his head down the hallway as he shut the apartment door. “Why don’t you two go sit down in the main room? I’ll finish up the cookies.”

An easy smile lit up Ogiwara’s face. “Cookies? You’re making cookies?”

Kuroko nodded. “Taiga-nii is very good at making cookies. And anything else he sets his hand to.”

Kagami waved a hand in dismissal, a flush rising to his cheeks. “Shut up, you horrible little brother. Dad brought me more chocolate chips from the States, so I had to use them. It’s not a big deal.”

Kuroko turned his head to give Ogiwara a smile. “Taiga-nii is modest as well as skilled.”

Ogiwara blinked. “Yeah, I bet,” he said intelligently.

Was it just him, or was Kuroko...more smiley than usual?

And hey, wow, he was thin. A lot thinner than he’d been at the Winter Cup. Kind of pale and unsteady too. Whatever illness he was recovering from must have been really rough.

“You wanna...wanna show me the main room, now?” he asked.

“Yes, of course.”

Kuroko finally pulled away to lead the way down the hallway, and Ogiwara didn’t think he was imagining the reluctance in that little movement. Kagami split off in the doorway, moving toward the kitchen, where the amazing smell of baking cookies was beginning to rise. Kuroko moved to the sofa in the corner of the room and sat down, and Ogiwara sat next to him as close as he dared.

Now that they were here, finally, Ogiwara found himself tongue-tied. They had a lot to say, a lot to talk about, but he didn’t know where to start. Kuroko seemed just as much at a loss. He stared forward, a faint blush beginning to appear on his face, not quite able to meet Ogiwara’s eyes.

Ogiwara sighed and leaned back into the sofa, looking around at the room. “This is a nice place, huh? It’s big, but still comfy. I can tell a family lives here.”

Kuroko nodded, his eyes shifting to Ogiwara’s face for a moment before he looked away again. “It’s my favorite place,” he said softly. “It’s my home. Only for a few weeks so far, but still...my home.”

The warmth and satisfaction in Kuroko’s voice was unmistakable. Ogiwara watched him carefully. “You seem really happy here.”

Kuroko nodded. “I am.”

“Good.” It was almost a whisper. Ogiwara looked around again, and his eye fell on a green pot on a small table against the wall. “Wow, that’s a really beautiful pot.”

“It was my mother’s. I think it’s beautiful, too.”

Ogiwara went still. This was his opportunity to get into it, to start the conversation they needed to have, but he almost didn’t want to take it. It would be more pleasant to just have a chat, to sit and eat cookies with Kuroko and his new family and say nothing important.

But he couldn’t be a coward anymore. He wanted to regain everything he’d lost, and he was willing to work for it.

“Hey, Kuroko. Or should I call you Kagami?”

Kuroko smiled. It was utterly genuine, utterly sincere. Ogiwara hadn’t been imagining things. Kuroko really did smile a lot more now. “You could call me Tetsu if you’d like to. That’s my favorite.”

Ogiwara’s shoulders fell down. That sounded perfect, actually. “Tetsu, okay. Then, hey, Tetsu. Would you tell me what happened to your mom? And your dad? And why… Well. Why. You know what I’m asking.”

Kuroko...Tetsu.... Tetsu nodded, slow and serious. “I will. I will tell you everything. First, though, I need to say something. I don’t want your response to be...tainted...with sympathy for me.”

Ogiwara squinted his eyes in confusion, but he didn’t have time to reply. Tetsu straightened his shoulders, folded his hands in his lap, and turned his body on the sofa so he could look into Ogiwara’s face.

Then he said, “Please forgive me, Ogiwara-kun. I have wronged you greatly, and I have never sought to make amends. I want to do that now. I know we can’t pick up where we left off, not really. There has been too much hurt and too much pain and too much distance put between us. But I want to start again. I feel like a new person now, after everything that’s happened to me. I am Kagami Tetsuya, not Kuroko. And Kagami Tetsuya would very much like to be friends with Ogiwara Shigehiro. Can we please make that happen?”

Ogiwara was caught with his mouth open, too many responses racing through his brain at once. “Of course! What? I want that too! What do you mean, you wronged me? You never wronged me! It was my fault that… But what are you talking about, ‘everything that happened to you?’ What happened? And for that matter, why wouldn’t you want my response to be ‘tainted with sympathy’ or whatever you said? I don’t understand!”

Despite the senseless babble, Tetsu immediately relaxed. He offered another smile, tentative and quickly fading. “I’m glad you want to be friends. As for how I wronged you, I’m certain you haven’t forgotten. You quit basketball because of me. It was the worst wrong I could have possibly done to you, and not a day has gone by that I haven’t regretted it.”

“That…” Ogiwara blinked at him. “That wasn’t because of you. That was...your team. Yeah, that last game… It was humiliating. To see that all of our efforts were worthless, that we were regarded as nothing, not even something to be obliterated, but completely disregarded in every way, just props on the court no more important or useful than plastic pylons would have been… And I was the ace of my team. I drove my teammates to do their best, to fight even knowing we would lose, to take pride in everything we did. So seeing at the end that our opponents had been toying with us the entire time, and every point we made had been allowed…

Ogiwara caught his breath. It still hurt to remember that, to relive the utter devastation he had felt when he realized what had been going on throughout the match. But Tetsu looked more and more sad as he went on, his face drawn with pain. That was the last thing Ogiwara had wanted.

He reached out and grabbed Tetsu’s shoulders, hard and tight, ignoring his flinch at the sudden movement. “That wasn’t your fault! You weren’t even there! You were out of the game because of your head injury, and in that moment, when I looked across the court and saw you watching, I knew that you were just as wounded as I was. I know who you are. I know you would have wanted to treat our match with respect if we’d gotten to meet each other on the court.

“But we didn’t get to, and yeah, that hurts, too. I quit basketball for a while, but it wasn’t because of you. It had nothing to do with you at all. I’m sorry if I ever gave you that impression. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry I ignored your messages afterward, so you had to go to my school to even get a hint of what was happening with me. That was cruel of me, and that distance between us that you spoke about… That’s my fault! And I’m sorry, Tetsu. I’m so sorry! I never wanted to put our friendship at risk, and I did. We missed a whole year where we could have been friends, texting and talking and encouraging each other, and I regret that more than I can say. I’m so, so sorry. Will you please forgive me? I want to start again, too. I want to be Kagami Tetsuya’s friend more than anything else in the world.”

Tetsu’s eyes filled with tears toward the middle of this. Then they began to spill down his cheeks. “I...yes,” he choked out. “Yes, please, Ogiwara-kun. Please.”

Ogiwara released his shoulders and grabbed him into a hug. They were both crying now. He never wanted to let go. Tetsu was shaking. And he was so thin. Far too thin. What suffering had he endured in the last few months? But he was here. He was real and warm and his head was heavy where it rested on Ogiwara’s shoulder.

Ogiwara tightened his grip, fingers clenching in the fabric of Tetsu’s shirt, and he longed for time to just...stop. Right here, right now, in this moment of pain and grief and reconnection so powerful and euphoric that he could swear his body might spontaneously combust with everything pouring through him. Tetsu clutched him back just as hard.

Eventually Ogiwara opened his blurry eyes and looked over Tetsu’s shoulder to find Kagami standing there with a plate of cookies. His face was soft and understanding, and he smiled when he saw Ogiwara looking at him. “You guys...uh...need a break?”

Ogiwara swallowed. He didn’t want to let go of Tetsu yet. If ever. But it was true that he was started to develop a headache, and Tetsu was probably worse off, considering he’d been seriously sick recently.

He sniffed hard, doing his best to master his tears, and reluctantly began to loosen his grip on his lost-and-found friend. Tetsu drew back slightly in his arms, fingers still wrapped in the fabric of Ogiwara’s shirt, and turned his head to look at Kagami. “Thank you, Taiga-nii. Will you join us?”

“Sure. Whatever you want.”

Kagami gracefully sat down on the floor in front of the sofa with the plate of cookies in his hands. Tetsu slid off the sofa to sit on the floor across from him, pulling Ogiwara with him, and they sat with their backs against the sofa and ate cookies. Tetsu kept a hand clenched in Ogiwara’s shirt, and Ogiwara maintained his grip with one arm wrapped around Tetsu’s shoulders. Neither of them wanted to let go. Kagami let them do as they wished. He brought them more freshly baked cookies when they were ready, as well as glasses of cool water to soothe their aching throats.

And they talked. They talked and talked.

Some of it shocked Ogiwara.

“Your mom died when you were eleven? But that was before we parted ways, and you never told me!”

“I didn’t want to spoil the little time we had left.”

“Still…”

“I’m sorry, Ogiwara-kun. I have learned recently that I should not keep my difficulties from the people who care about me. I know now that you will all want to help and support me, and will be offended that I did not trust you to care for me from the beginning. I promise I will always tell you my troubles in the future. At that time, I was too used to keeping secrets.”

“Secrets…? What secrets?”

And that part was even worse. To think Tetsu had been dealing with that, alone, for all this time… Ogiwara’s arm tightened around Tetsu’s shoulders, pulling him into his side again, and Tetsu allowed it.

“I wish…” Ogiwara choked on a sob. “I wish I’d known. Even if I couldn’t have stopped it, or saved you from it… I never would have abandoned you the way I did if I’d known you were enduring something like that. I’m so sorry, Tetsu.”

Tetsu trembled in his grip. “You didn’t abandon me…”

“I did! And so did everyone else! No wonder you couldn’t tell anyone, no wonder you thought no one would care, or would be able to help you. We all taught you that by our actions! I am so, so sorry.”

“That’s not true…” Tetsu cast a pleading glance at Kagami. “Taiga-nii, tell him.”

Kagami held still for a moment, considering, then shook his head. “I never thought about it that way, but he might be right. People left you alone too much, Tetsu-chan. You learned to expect it. It wasn’t good for you.”

“Until Seirin,” Tetsu murmured.

Kagami nodded. “Yeah, everything changed then. For me, too.”

Ogiwara seized on the new topic with relief. “Tell me. I loved watching Seirin play at the Winter Cup. Tell me how you all became so amazing.”

Tetsu hadn’t yet told him about what had happened since the Winter Cup that had necessitated his adoption and left him so physically weakened, but Ogiwara could tell they needed a break from heavy topics. Bad enough to learn that his mother had been killed by a drunk driver and his father had been abusive since he was eight. The recent events must have been even worse than those revelations. Maybe they could work up to it.

Tetsu seemed to agree. He nodded, leaned into Ogiwara’s side, and began to explain why he had chosen Seirin, how he met Kagami and their other teammates, how they all learned and grew and changed together. Kagami helped tell the story, too, and the two fell into an easy rhythm of sharing details and bantering back and forth. Ogiwara enjoyed it immensely. Not only learning about the Seirin team and all of their quirks, but also watching Tetsu and his new brother interact was a peculiar joy. They teased each other often and without hesitation, but it was also obvious just how much they loved and trusted each other. Ogiwara’s heart was warmed and reassured by every word out of their mouths, every look they gave each other.

Tetsu was in good hands.

It was a wonderful story. Ogiwara loved it. But after the final bit was told, after Tetsu described the party after Seirin won the Winter Cup and how Kagami had eaten enough cake and ice cream to down a horse and then passed out under a table (“I was tired!” Kagami roared.), the three of them fell silent.

Kagami, obviously a fan of his own cooking, ate two more cookies. Ogiwara didn’t want to break the silence, but as he sat there, waiting, he could feel Tetsu freezing up. He watched him carefully, saw his expression smoothing over into a blank again. Tetsu stared straight ahead, pale and thin and rigid. If this didn’t stop soon, he would calcify into a statue. Ogiwara sucked in a breath, prepared to intervene.

Kagami was faster. He watched his brother, his eyes deep and soft. “Do you want me to tell him?” The fact that his mouth was still full of his last cookie did nothing to diminish the sympathy in his voice and the kindness in the gesture.

Slowly, Tetsu relaxed, his stiff posture loosening until he leaned into Ogiwara’s side again. “No. I told the story to you and Aomine-kun. Ogiwara-kun deserves to hear it from my lips, too. Just...give me a moment.”

Kagami nodded solemnly. "Take all the time you need.”

"Tetsu..." Ogiwara couldn't help it. He was starting to get nervous.

Just how bad could this be? Tetsu had already told him that his dad used to hit him once in a while ("Not often," Tetsu had said, as if that somehow excused it), that he was unstable and Tetsu had learned to walk on eggshells around him, to hide and repress himself and endure in silence. To Ogiwara's mind, that was more than enough to justify Tetsu getting out of that situation permanently. He'd known from the way Kagami and Tetsu were talking that something really bad had happened recently, but just how much worse could it get?

Suddenly, Ogiwara wasn't sure that he wanted to know.

Despite his declaration, Tetsu said nothing for a moment. His lips pressed together, his hands twisting in his lap. Ogiwara longed to help him, to provide some way for him to relieve all of this pressure that was building, but he had no idea what to do. Kagami was silent, allowing Tetsu to figure it out on his own as he'd requested.

Tetsu finally seemed to hit on something. He turned toward Ogiwara, simultaneously pulling away from his circling arm. Ogiwara let him go, his hand falling empty into his lap. Tetsu's eyes were wide and pleading. "It's hard...it's hard for me to speak about this. Is it all right if I show you something? Then, maybe... I'll be able to keep going."

Ogiwara nodded. He felt numb. "Of course. Anything you need."

Tetsu remained still for a moment, watching him without blinking. "I know... This will upset you. Perhaps a great deal. You are my friend, I know that, and I know how much this has upset my other friends. I don't want to distress you. But...I do want you to understand. I want to have no secrets between us. The more people I share this secret with, the more the weight of it diminishes. Still, I don't want to force it on you without a proper warning. This is going to make you sad and angry. Will you forgive me for that? And will you accept a portion of this burden for me? Will you help me bear it?"

Dread pooled in Ogiwara's chest. He already felt that he had accepted a great and awful weight just by listening to this soft, straightforward speech. Still, he nodded. And he meant it with every ounce of sincerity he could give, even while he feared the outcome of this agreement. "Of course I will, Tetsu. Anything I can do for you, I want to do."

Tetsu stared at him for a moment longer as if gauging the depth of his commitment, his willingness to accept whatever Tetsu was about to reveal. Then he nodded, gently, almost to himself. He pulled a little farther away from Ogiwara and turned his back to him, sitting straight and square-shouldered on the floor. And he bared his back by drawing his shirt over his head and holding it bunched in his arms in front of him.

Ogiwara stopped breathing for moment. He'd been correct to dread this. Despite all of the preparation, the warnings, the knowledge that this was going to be bad, it still felt like a punch in the gut. It knocked the wind out of him completely.

And they weren't even that bad. They were almost healed. Fading red lines already disappearing into the pale skin, some becoming scars. But there were so many of them. So many...

What had this looked like when it was fresh? When the wounds were red and awful, covering every single bit of Tetsu's back? Ogiwara cast a wide-eyed look to Kagami, and Kagami nodded back at him, his face grim. Ogiwara could read in his face the answer to that question.

Horrible. It had been horrible.

Ogiwara looked to Tetsu. Tetsu's head was bowed, so he couldn't see his face, but he caught the faint tremor in his shoulders, shivering over his skin. He was holding himself together as he waited for Ogiwara's reaction, but only barely.

Ogiwara wanted to say something reassuring, comforting. He wanted to tell Tetsu that he understood, that he accepted this burden, that he realized the weight and he was willing to bear it. Instead, his voice came out choked and thin. "You said...he only hit you..."

Tetsu's voice was almost toneless. "Up until a month and a half ago, that was true."

No wonder Tetsu had spoken so easily, almost casually, about how his father used to hit him. That was nothing compared to this.

Ogiwara cast another look to Kagami. "You stopped it."

Kagami nodded. He didn't look happy or proud, though, as Ogiwara might have expected. His expression was still grim, almost ashamed. "It took me too long. Almost a month. Tetsu-chan suffered a great deal before I got there."

"That was my fault," Tetsu said. "I hid it from you."

Kagami shook his head. "How many times do I have to tell you? None of this was your fault."

Ogiwara gaped at him. "You..."

Kagami glared. "You disagree?"

"No! Of course not!" Ogiwara settled back on his heels. His heart had settled in his chest, now that he saw something he could do. Something he could offer. These two... They cared for each other so deeply. Perhaps it made them a little blind, in some ways.

"It wasn't your fault, either," Ogiwara said. "You think I can't see how much you love your little brother? How you would do anything for him, anything at all? Neither of you are to blame for this. Put the fault where it belongs: at the feet of the man who did this."

Kagami looked away, his face flushing. Ogiwara turned back to Tetsu. He reached out, hesitantly at first. Then he defeated his doubts and completed the movement, resting his hand on Tetsu's bare shoulder.

"Does it pain you?" he asked softly.

Tetsu shook his head. "Not anymore."

"So I didn't hurt you when I grabbed you and squeezed you and all that."

A note of humor lit in his voice. "Not at all. Quite the opposite."

"Okay. Good." Ogiwara squeezed his shoulder, then let go.

Tetsu sat still for a moment longer, then pulled his shirt back over his head, covering the marks. He turned around, slowly, his head still down. Ogiwara didn't hesitate. He pulled Tetsu into another hug, much tighter and closer than before.

"It's okay," he said, because he had to be sure Tetsu knew. "It's okay. Everything is okay now. I promise."

To his delight, Tetsu responded almost immediately. He put his arms around Ogiwara in return and held on. His hair tickled Ogiwara's cheek as he pressed in close and released a tiny sigh.

Ogiwara squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, just reveling in it. Tetsu had been hurt. He'd been hurt so very, very badly. It was obvious that he still needed time to recover, and not only physically. But here he was. He was safe and whole, and he had an amazing family, and he wanted to be Ogiwara's friend.

Maybe it was selfish. Maybe his feelings were shallow and unworthy. But Ogiwara was almost impossibly happy, even as his heart ached for everything Tetsu had suffered, for the time they had lost and could never get back.

He was able to say it because he believed it. Everything was okay. Everything was going to be okay.

After a bit, Tetsu shifted in his grip, then began to pull away. Ogiwara let him go reluctantly, though his hands moved up to hold Tetsu's arms as he sat back, smiling at him. "Would you like to meet Hiroshi-san, now? He's really looking forward to meeting you."

Ogiwara nodded. He was sure that Tetsu's new father was going to be just as great as his new brother. "I'm looking forward to meeting him, too."

Kagami bounced lightly to his feet. "I'll get him. He’s either hiding in his office pretending to work or standing in the hall eavesdropping."

A noise of outrage rose from the hallway in question. "I am not!" It was a man's voice, and Ogiwara froze in alarm, his eyebrows rising.

Kagami grinned, sudden and brilliant, and Tetsu fell over himself laughing as a tall man slowly stepped into the doorway to the main room, his face flaming red. He tried to glare at Kagami, who was bouncing on his feet in delight, and at Tetsu giggling in a heap on the floor, but he failed spectacularly. Ogiwara stared at him with wide eyes, then at Tetsu. He'd never heard Tetsu laugh like this before, never.

"I wasn't eavesdropping," the man said as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I just happened to be standing in the hallway at that moment, that's all."

"Sure, Dad," Kagami said cheekily. "Do you want to join us now? We have cookies."

Kagami Hiroshi nodded with as much dignity as he could muster. "Yes. I would love to join you for cookies."

He moved over and sat on the floor with them, exactly where his son had been moments before. Kagami went to fetch more cookies from the kitchen (apparently he had made something called a triple batch, which meant that there were a lot of cookies), and Kagami-san offered Ogiwara a gentle smile. "Hello, Ogiwara-kun. I'm glad to meet you. Tetsu-chan has told me many good things about you."

Ogiwara looked at Tetsu, who was slowly bringing himself out of his giggling fit. Tetsu smiled and nodded, and Ogiwara looked back to the man. "I'm glad to meet you, Kagami-san. Tetsu is a very important person to me, so I'm happy to meet his new family."

Kagami-san nodded solemnly. "He's very important to Taiga and me, too."

Ogiwara grinned, relaxing fully. Not only had this man and his son rescued Ogiwara's dear friend and adopted him into their family, but they could make him giggle like a tiny child, too. They were amazing.

An intense wave of gratitude washed over him, for this man, for this family, for this beautiful and welcoming home. And for Tetsu, who had had the courage and kindness to contact him, even after Ogiwara had abandoned their friendship and left him alone for more than a year. Ogiwara turned to Tetsu and nudged him to sit up, then wrapped an arm around him again and squeezed tight, smiling so hard that his cheeks hurt from the force of his joy.

Kagami returned with the cookies, and they talked and ate and reminisced and laughed. As promised, Kagami-san ("Oh, just call me Hiroshi," he said. "I've spent too much time in America.") asked many questions about Tetsu when he was younger, and Ogiwara was happy to share. Some of his stories made Tetsu blush and cover his face, and more than once he slapped Ogiwara's side and told him to stop. Ogiwara grinned and ignored this, and the others laughed.

It was a wonderful evening. And when Ogiwara finally took his leave, giving Tetsu one last long hug at the door and waving happily to Kagami and Hiroshi-san in farewell, he knew that he would be back. And they would be happy to have him.

This was only the beginning.

Afterword

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