Tetsu: Hello, Suga-san. How are you tonight?
Suga: I'm doing well, Tetsu-chan. Practice with my university team today was very fun. I got to hit spikes for a while. I really enjoyed it.
Tetsu: That's good. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.
Suga: Thank you. How are you doing? You don't usually text on Tuesday. I'm glad to hear from you, of course, but I wonder. Did something happen?
Tetsu: Ah, it's nothing. I just wanted to hear about your day.
Suga: Well, I'm glad to share. Did you have a good day, too?
Tetsu: Um. Since you ask, no. Today was not a good day for me. I don't want to bother you with it, though.
Suga: It's not a bother, Tetsu-chan. Please tell me what upset you.
Tetsu: It really is nothing. I just had another panic attack at school, that's all.
Suga: That's not nothing, Tetsu-chan. I'm very sad to hear that your day was disrupted by something so frightening. You said 'another.' You've had other panic attacks at school?
Tetsu: Yes, a few. It's been several months since the last one, so I thought it was over. I thought I was going to be normal from now on.
Suga: You're still normal, Tetsu-chan. You never told me exactly what happened to you that's causing you to have panic attacks, but I know it was something bad. It's normal that it's not over, though I'm sorry to say that. No matter how far you still have to go, I know you can get there.
Tetsu: I want it to be over already. I want to never have another panic attack.
Suga: That's understandable, and I wish I could make that happen for you. I'm sure your friends and your teammates and your family, especially Taiga-kun, wish that they could take away your pain, too.
Tetsu: I know they do. I hate that I keep bothering them with my problems.
Suga: I'm sure they don't see it that way, Tetsu-chan. You aren't bothering them. They must be sad and worried when you're upset, but you're not a bother. I know they care about you very much. Please don't feel that you're bothering anyone.
Tetsu: I wish I believed that.
Suga: I wish that, too. And I want you to know that you're not bothering me, either.
Tetsu: Thank you, Suga-san. You are very kind.
Suga: Did you talk to anyone about what caused your panic attack?
Tetsu: Um. No. Taiga-nii wanted me to tell him, but I was too upset. I... I sort of ran away. I was selfish and stupid.
Suga: You're not selfish and stupid, Tetsu-chan. Don't think that way of yourself. You're a young man who has been through a very difficult time, and you're still learning to cope, that's all. I'm happy you texted me. Where are you now?
Tetsu: No, you don't understand. I really am being stupid and selfish. I'm actually hiding in a closet right now. I don't know why I decided to text you. I'm sorry.
Suga: Please don't apologize for contacting me, Tetsu-chan. I'm happy that you did. If you can't tell your nii-san why you panicked and ran away, do you think you could tell me instead? It might help to share with someone who is far away.
Tetsu: It was stupid. We were leaving basketball practice and it was getting dark, and I saw a man standing at the gate of my school. He was probably just waiting to pick up his son or daughter. But for a second, from a distance, I thought I recognized him.
Suga: Who did you think it was?
Tetsu: I thought it was my father. I never told you, Suga-san. My father used to hit me, and...other things. He made me believe I was a monster. Worthless. For a month, it became really bad, and he beat me with a belt almost every day. It only stopped when Taiga-nii found out and made me leave my house. I never went back there again.
Suga: Thank you for telling me, Tetsu-chan. I know that was hard for you to write out for me to read. Your message took a long time.
Tetsu: I'm sorry I made you wait.
Suga: I would wait much, much longer. I was just worried that perhaps you wouldn't respond at all. But again, thank you for telling me. I'm honored by your trust.
Tetsu: I know... I knew that my father is in Russia now. His company sent him there, and he's not supposed to come back. But that man standing at the gate... He was just a man. When he moved his head, I saw right away that it wasn't my father. But by then I was already panicking.
Suga: It's not stupid, Tetsu-chan. You're not stupid. It must have been a terrible shock to see a person who hurt you in the past waiting for you to leave your school, where you felt safe.
Tetsu: But it wasn't really him.
Suga: Your brain thought it was. Maybe it was the way he was standing, or the way the light hit him. It doesn't matter. It wasn't your fault. Your body was trying to protect you.
Tetsu: I know. People have told me that. I'm just too stupid to understand, I guess. I can't make it stick in my head. I can't make my brain and body understand that I'm safe now.
Suga: You're not stupid, Tetsu-chan. You're recovering. There's a big difference. You just need to give yourself more time. How long has it been since that horrible month when your father hurt you so badly?
Tetsu: Um... About nine months.
Suga: That's not very long at all. You're going to be fine. You're healing, and you will continue to heal. Everyone around you wants to help, including me. You're going to be okay.
Tetsu: Thank you.
Suga: Do you feel better now? Did it help to tell me?
Tetsu: I think so. I'm not sure.
Suga: That's all right. Sometimes it's hard to understand yourself. But do you feel ready to leave your hiding spot, now? I'm sure Taiga-kun is looking for you.
Tetsu: Ah. Taiga-nii found me a while ago. While we were texting. He's sitting outside the door waiting for me to come out.
Suga: What a good nii-san he is.
Tetsu: Yes. I'm very lucky.
Suga: You don't have to tell him why you panicked if you don't want to. I'm sure he'll understand if you want to keep it to yourself.
Tetsu: No, I think I'll tell him. Maybe not right away, though.
Suga: Of course. Whenever you're ready.
Tetsu: You sound just like him.
Suga: I'm glad.
Tetsu: Thank you again, Suga-san. I'm going to go out now.
Suga: Good. I'm very glad. Sleep well tonight, Tetsu-chan.
Tetsu: Thank you, Suga-san. You too.
Suga: Text me again anytime you like. I will always be glad to talk to you.