1.
the thing is, it sounds stupid.
it sounds stupid to admit that he can talk to animals, stupid to say that sometimes he talks with his fish because he doesn’t need to worry about them judging him.
it’s stupid when wonsang brings holly with him to the studio, and gwangil’s just sitting there , pretending not to understand the desperate whines to play, pretending that he can’t hear the confusion as to why wonsang’s chooses to stay cooped up indoors when outside exists.
“are you okay?” sangyeop asks when he notices gwangil rubbing his forehead.
he’s not, is the thing. there’s a dull, constant throb that hasn’t gone away for hours, everything around him sounding like too much while also being white noise. the only grounding this is sangyeop’s hand on his shoulder, his thumb gently rubbing circles into the juncture where gwangil’s shoulder meets his neck.
“yeah,” is what he says instead, letting sangyeop sit next to him, gently moving his hand to make gwangil’s head lay on his shoulder.
“if you’re not feeling well, you should tell us,” sangyeop mutters, just quiet enough that gwangil has to second guess if he actually heard him right, but before he can say anything sangyeop’s pulling out his phone, eyes focused on his screen.
sighing, gwangil closed his eyes and lets himself relax into sangyeop's shoulder, attempting to ignore holly’s attempts at catching wonsang’s attention.
he wonders if, maybe, he should tell someone.
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2.
“why am i like this,” gwangil says, putting his head in his hands.
he’d just come back from practice, which in and of itself isn’t anything out of the ordinary. however, “ordinary” didn’t include sangyeop’s eyes glued to gwangil in what he can only assume was worry, a frown pulling at his lips when he thought no one was paying attention.
during break he even went as far as to check gwangil’s temperature in the (cutest) dumbest way possible, his lips placed on gwangil’s forehead while he was mid-conversation with wonsang, a laugh coming from the latter when sangyeop had nodded to himself and walked towards yechan, who had been watching this all go down with a confused sort of amusement.
“what did he do this time,” he hears from the fish tank, and rolls his eyes.
“probably something dumb,” another one replies.
“can’t he hear us?” the last one asks, and gwangil rolls into his back.
it isn’t unusual for him to lay down in his room for a couple of hours, mindlessly talking to his fish. it’s gotten to the point where they almost expect him to, a question about his day thrown at him if he comes in with barely anything to say at all. by now they know that he isn’t normal, know that sangyeop and wonsang and yechan can’t understand them the way that gwangil does, and in turn they use that to their fullest abilities.
he sighs. “do you guys hate me?” he asks, not serious enough to warrant a certain type of stiffness that seemingly clings to the air, but it’s not quite a joke, either.
“no?” they all but respond.
“sweet,” he says, his eyes closed. he knows that he doesnt have to explain, that his fishes know all too well why he’s asking. “i’m thinking of telling someone.”
it’s silent for a moment before all hell breaks loose, all three of his fish demanding answers to various questions that gwangil can’t even begin to discern. he thinks that, under it all, he can make out a quiet is it sangyeop , and he sighs.
“it is,” he says, his voice barely loud enough for him to make out over his fishes, but they all pause anyway.
“whipped,” one of them says, and gwangil has half a mind to commit a murder.
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3.
gwangil regrets inviting wonsang to his room the moment he opens the door.
immediately there’s questions thrown at him about wonsang, about whether him and the others know that gwangil speaks to his fish on his free time (which, rude . gwangil speaks to a lot of animals during his free time, thank you very much), and there’s a constant mention of sangyeop that makes it hard for gwangil to do much other than roll his eyes.
unluckily for gwangil, the first thing wonsang does is walk towards his fish.
“hi guys1” he says, which causes a whole new uproar, and gwangil can already feel a headache forming.
“you should’ve brought sangyeop instead,” one of them says, particularly loud, and it takes all the self-restraint that gwangil has not to face palm. instead, he brings a finger up to his lips, hoping that the shushing motion gets them to stop.
it doesn’t. in fact, gwangil’s pretty sure that they get marginally louder , complaints about how he doesn’t like talking to them being said so loud that he actually has to strain to hear wonsang.
“are you okay?” wonsang asks, a frown on his lips when gwangil brings a hand up to his forehead.
it’s so similar to what sangyeop had said the other day that gwangil has to take a moment to compose himself. he nods slightly in lieu of a verbal response, offering up a small smile so that wonsang doesn’t worry.
it’s worth it with how wonsang smiles in response, and his fish finally quiet down when they realize that he won’t be responding to them.
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+1
“promise not to laugh,” gwangil says as soon as sangyeop slides into the seat across from him.
he’d decided to do this in a cafe, because sangyeop isn’t allowed to have a loud reaction in a place where people will most definitely notice, isn’t allowed to do something too dramatic unless he wants to have all eyes on him.
so, yeah. cafe.
sangyeop raises an eyebrow. “why would i laugh?” he says, and he sounds so genuine that gwangil almost doesn’t believe him.
“it’s going to sound stupid.”
“everything you say sounds stupid,” sangyeop rolls his eyes, and gwangil has half a mind to give up right then and there. then, “if it’s something important to you, it won’t be stupid.”
“okay,” gwangil says. he pauses for a moment, and then he nods. “promise not to tell anyone else?”
he doesn’t really care about if yechan or wonsang find out. they spend all their time together, anyway, so it’s not like gwangil’s going to be able to keep this a secret for an extensive amount of time. in fact, wonsang would probably be happy to find out, his face probably lighting up when he realizes that gwangil can fully understand holly.
still, sangyeop nods. “of course,” he says.
“so,” gwangil takes a deep breath, “i can maybe, sort of, speak to animals. i know it sounds dumb but i swear i’m not lying. it’s just, it’s been getting too much recently, and my head’s gotten kind of sensitive, so i’ve been getting a lot of headaches recently because of it. that’s why i’ve been uh, off? and like, not feeling well.”
it’s silent for a moment.
“oh,” sangyeop says.
“yeah.”
“do any of the others know?”
gwangil scratches the back of his neck. “i haven’t told them, so…”
sangyeop nods. “i see.”
“i swear i’m not lying.”
“i believe you.”
gwangil looks up from where his gaze had fallen. “you do?”
“yeah,” sangyeop says, and a smile spreads across his lips. “does this mean i’m allowed to call you snow white?”
gwangil rolls his eyes. maybe he should’ve done this in a place with pillows so that he can throw one at him.