Kaminari knows that his quirk has a lot of drawbacks. More than the average person, probably. He doesn’t know. He hasn’t asked anyone about it before because he thinks that would be kind of rude. But he assumes, because his classmates never seem to have to deal with as much quirk bullshit as him.
Not that they don’t have their own problems with their quirks! Kaminari is a pretty observant person – he’s watched Midoriya wince after training sessions and also when he’s doing mundane things like calligraphy, and Mina bandage her fingers to protect them from further burns and he’s guarded the common room bathroom door many times as Ochako throws up behind it. Everyone has their own issues, and he’s not trying to say that his friends’ quirk drawbacks aren’t as bad, or annoying as his.
But.
Sometimes it feels like his quirk is constantly against him. He can feel electricity thrumming through his veins all the time. All day, everyday, and it can be a lot, like in the mornings before he’s gotten a chance to unload any, and other times it’s just barely there, but he feels it all the time. He welcomes it usually because he’s had ten years to get used to it. He usually likes the electricity and how it travels his body like a living thing. He likes that he can create it and control it. It’s his. It’s nice. Usually.
There are some days where it makes him want to rip his hair out and scream. Where it’s so strong that he feels like he needs to run a hundred marathons, where he’s too scared to even take a shower because he’s still a human being, he’s not completely immune to electricity and if he accidentally electrocutes himself while wet, he’s not totally sure it won’t kill him. He takes meds everyday, for quirk-related ADHD, and there are days when he thinks about taking five or ten pills just so he can focus and maybe finish his homework for once and stop interrupting his friends.
So, yeah. It’s bad, sometimes.
He knows his quirk is strong. He’s the result of two parents with electricity quirks, which are already rare enough in Japan. His mom can generate electricity, like a human power plant, and his dad can absorb and control already existing forms of electricity, so naturally, Kaminari can do both. It’s very useful, for things like getting into UA, for example. But it also means his body is always overloaded on the stuff, and that includes his brain.
ADHD was a pretty obvious diagnosis early on. Like, two months after his quirk manifested. He can’t sit still for too long, literally physically unable to, and the electricity in his brain makes his attention span short and his thoughts bounce around too quickly to hold onto for long. His teachers all know, which is nice. His grades still suck, but if they didn’t know, they’d be a lot worse than that. Aizawa-sensei is trying to get him accommodations, like longer test periods and different teaching methods so he can bring his grades up, which he very much appreciates. No teacher has ever done that for him before.
Needing to periodically release electricity is something he only learned was necessary this year, courtesy of Recovery Girl. Apparently if he doesn’t want to start burning himself or short circuiting for longer periods of time as his quirk’s power continues to grow, he needs to be able to get his excess electricity out throughout the day. Safely.
Going to the furniture store and trying to light every single lamp there at once is not safe, Kaminari. Not even if your friends go along.
Recovery Girl makes a lot of good points, but Kaminari still wishes he could’ve tried that idea, just once. He’d thought of it in a dream.
Anyways, that’s where the chewing on portable charging cords and charging his friends’ phones, among other things, come in. It’s not foolproof – sometimes he shocks the people around him by accident or makes the lights flicker, but at least he doesn’t practically glow with excess energy anymore, like he used to in middle school. It makes him a little less hyperactive and overwhelmed to release his energy throughout the day.
Now that he’s in UA, he’s never had so much reign over his quirk. He’s not perfect, obviously, not even close, but for once in his life his quirk feels like it’s capable of being controlled. There are no new complications or side effects, just the already existing issues that Kaminari is learning to cope with better.
So of course, something else has to be added to his pile of problems.
He actually starts to pay attention to it for the first time when he’s in the middle of studying for a science test. It’s chemistry, which confuses him more than almost any other subject, besides math or physics, maybe. He’s not great with numbers. He’d normally be studying with his friends, but he’s spent all week joining his friend’s study groups, but Bakugou had a tough day in training today and doesn’t want to deal with their noise tonight. Kaminari isn’t offended, he knows he and Mina together are a lot to handle, but he’s kind of wishing he had someone to go over this set of equations with. The rest of his friends agreed to study alone, though, and who is he to break that agreement?
It’s been a while since he was so stressed about a test. His meds start to wear off at around supper time, so his ability to focus is in low 20’s in terms of percentages right now. Possibly less than that.
He chews on his thumb nail and stares at his practice sheet. The words don’t even create comprehensive sentences in his brain. He can’t tell if that’s a picture of a glucose molecule or something entirely different. How many carbons does glucose have, again?
His stomach twists. Sometimes it feels like this when he’s getting restless. It swoops as he continues to stare at his work, like he’s on the decline of a roller coaster, and he has to blink hard as his vision starts to blur around the edges. He’s been trying to study for way too long now. Stomach still rising and falling, he stands up from his chair and flops onto his bed, immediately picking at the pokémon stickers he placed on his wall one night out of boredom. Raichu’s cute little face swims in front of his eyes.
This is the third time that he can remember feeling his way these past few weeks. It’s most likely stress, or his ADHD messing with him, but it’s annoying every single time. It makes him feel detached from reality. Like he’s floating in his own body.
Sero’s mentioned that he does this thing sometimes when he’s really stressed out — dissociates? Kaminari wonders if that’s what’s happening to him now.
The faint taste of something chemical assaults his taste buds, and no matter how much he swallows to get rid of it, it lingers, like it’s covering the entire inside of his mouth. He knows what’s coming next, because this is the third time he’s tasted this specific, unexplainable taste. The digital clock next to his bed reads 8:34.
He loses focus.
When he comes back to himself, he feels so suddenly tired that he could pass out right where he is. He doesn’t zone out very often — if anything his brain makes him aware of everything, all the time — but, again, this isn’t the first time he’s zoned out like this, these past two or three weeks. It always leaves his mind feeling blank.
The digital clock reads 8:36.
Kaminari frowns. He was zoned out for two minutes? That seems like a long time. Mina zones out a lot, especially when studying, and she’s only ever gone for ten seconds, at the most. He didn’t think about looking at the clock those other times he lost focus, but if he was gone for two minutes like this time, that’s a little worrying, right?
He’ll deal with it later, he decides.
Procrastination is his brain’s best friend. Also its special talent.
He falls asleep soon after, already having forgotten about what he was so worried about.
It happens again, several times that week. The zoning out, that is. Every time before he does, his stomach swoops and his vision swirls and that awful taste is in his mouth. Sometimes all that happens, and he doesn’t even zone out. The taste and everything else just go away after about a minute, like they were never there. He’s starting to get very tired of it. The next week, he has a zoning-out episode almost everyday, and occasionally more than once a day, and even sometimes more than once in a row. No one knows about it besides him, because it’s nothing and it probably doesn’t matter that he’s losing focus so often if it doesn’t affect his grades or training, which it isn’t. It’s only ever for like, maximum two and a half minutes, anyways. He’s been timing himself as soon as he starts to taste the chemicals, stopping the timer when he regains focus.
He does it once during a study session.
He can feel it coming on, and he’s so used to it by now that he knows this’ll be a zoning-out episode, not just a pre-zoning-out symptoms type of thing. When his taste buds begin to sting with that terrible taste he stops writing and starts to panic because he can’t just zone out in front of everyone they’re gonna think he’s died or something. Kaminari thinks about standing up and leaving while he still can, but he’s not sure he’ll make it to Bakugou’s door even if he could see well enough to navigate there. Mina gives him a shrug from across the table when she notices his staring, which is meant to be encouraging because it means she doesn’t understand the work either. Kaminari wants to smile and shrug back but everything goes blank.
Regaining focus feels like crawling through a tunnel. He rocks forwards in his chair when he emerges through the end, and bangs his elbow on the table. It startles him enough to disperse most of the post-zoning-out confusion, and he looks up to Sero looking at him with concern and also a little awe.
“Dude,” Sero glances around the room, like did you guys see that, “are you okay?”
Rubbing his elbow, Kaminari laughs awkwardly. “Uh, yeah?”
“You were zoned out for like, a minute straight!” Mina pipes up. She looks vaguely impressed.
“Um. I didn’t sleep that well last night?”
“Oh, okay. You should get more sleep, bro!” Kirishima is cracking his knuckles, which is his nervous tic. Kaminari feels bad that he made his friend nervous. “Are you sure you’re okay, though? That was… kind of scary. You wouldn’t answer us, and you were picking at your shirt. You didn’t even respond when we shook you.”
A pang of unease hits Kaminari. He just sat there and stared and fiddled with his clothes for a whole minute, unresponsive? Outwardly, though, he just rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’m okay, I swear! It’s probably just a side effect from my meds, or something. My stupid brain can’t handle this much math at once.”
He sounds like he’s trying to convince himself as much as his friends.
Bakugou grunts. “Whatever, dunceface. Just focus for another ten fucking minutes and then you can go play video games or whatever the fuck it is you guys do.” He says it with disgust, as if he doesn’t also play video games with them. Kaminari nods and shakes off his lingering fogginess and exhaustion so he can try — and inevitably fail — the next practice question.
It’s even worse when it happens in class, though. His teachers have never called him out on it, so they must not care or just expect this behaviour from him. Nonetheless, it’s scary when Kaminari suddenly blinks and realizes that he must’ve been zoning out for the past couple of minutes, right in the middle of a lecture. He has to ask Jirou for her notes because he always seems to miss the most vital information when he loses focus. She agrees with an eyeroll and Kaminari feels even worse.
Ignoring his little episodes go pretty well for the most part. Well, for the first two weeks. But then on Friday night, right before he’s about to head to Kirishima’s room to watch a movie with his friends, the pre-zoning-out symptoms appear. He sits down on his bed, resigning himself to it. But it doesn’t feel the same. He feels kind of sick, and the taste in his mouth is coming on a lot faster than usual. It’s disorienting enough that Kaminari considers texting someone to come to his room, though he doesn’t know why. What would they even be able to do? He just feels worse than usual and kind of panicky about it.
This time when he blanks out, he feels his muscles lock. There’s no time to worry about that, though.
He opens his eyes slowly and realizes that he’s on the floor.
His side feels bruised and he wonders through the thick fog in his mind if he fell off the bed. He must have, because he’s almost a hundred percent sure that he was sitting on his bed before. His entire body is sore, and his muscles are twitching minutely, like how they do after he uses too much electricity. Everything feels just shy of reality, clouded in exhaustion and confusion.
Some time later — Kaminari has no clue how long, he’s never been great with time and he’s not even sure time is moving right now — the fog in his head starts to thin out. He still feels extremely tired, but he has enough brain power now to be concerned about how he got on the floor, and also what the hell was that. Using shaky arms, he sits up. His clothes feel staticky, and he gets a shock when he tries to straighten out his shirt. He must have been releasing electricity without knowing.
The light coming in through the window is still as bright as it was when he had sat down, so he wasn’t gone long. Just like his episodes, he doesn’t remember anything after blanking out, and he’s tired and confused now that he’s back. But it doesn’t feel the same as those other times.
As Kaminari goes to stand up, he realizes that his pants feel wet. He looks down.
Oh shit.
A thirty-second shower later, because he really can’t stay upright long enough for anything longer, Kaminari puts on his pajamas and lies in his bed, ready to sleep and forget about everything that just happened. He knows he should do something about it, maybe talk to someone, but the thought of that feels impossible, especially right now.
He’s about to fall asleep when his phone pings. He groans and turns it on, and oh right, he’s supposed to watch a movie at Kirishima’s. The text is from Mina.
20:09
bubblegumbitch
Hey babe you coming over?
20:09
Me
ummm probably not i feel kinda sick all of a sudden?
20:11
bubblegumbitch
!!!
Oh no do you want us to come over??
20:12
Me
no it’s ok i’ll probably just sleep
just don’t eat all the chips i want some >:(
20:15
bubblegumbitch
Lmao we won’t
Feel better denks!!
He hugs his elbows, which are the sorest, to his chest and falls asleep with his phone still open on his pillow.
The next morning his friends ask if he’s okay, and he says he feels fine and he’s not lying. He doesn’t feel tired or sore or sick anymore. He blanks out twice that day, but they’re not consecutive and they’re just the zoning-out episodes, not twitching-muscles, whatever-happened-last-night episodes. He remembers that he was going to do something about what happened, but as the day goes on it doesn’t seem like such a big deal anymore. He’s fine now, so it was probably just a one-time thing.
Two days after the first time, Kaminari wakes up on the floor, again, absolutely exhausted and with no clue what just happened. The floor around him is warm with electricity, like a laptop left open too long. He didn’t piss his pants this time, which is nice, but it still takes him twenty minutes to be able to get up, shower, and force his brain to start functioning normally again. He wants to sleep more than anything, but it’s Sunday night and he has last-minute homework to finish, so he grabs an energy drink from his mini fridge, starts a lofi playlist and rubs at his sore neck muscles.
The textbook is open for all of ten minutes before he can’t resist anymore, though. He abandons his reading, opens his laptop, googles ‘zoning out long time can’t remember after’ and stares at the absolute nonsense that shows up in terms of results. Nothing even remotely medical or scientific pops up, just pages of random blogs and links to reddit threads that Kaminari has to remind himself not to click on so as not to get sidetracked. He tries again with ‘zoning out three minutes can’t move’ and google tells him he has brain cancer. He’s pretty sure it’s not that. He hopes, anyways. He keeps trying, typing in different keywords, and although he never gets a concrete answer, there’s one word that keeps showing up.
Seizure.
He knows, to a very basic extent, what a seizure is. He knows they’re not pretty. But nothing else is very helpful information, and no other words seem to pop up as often as that one, so Kaminari throws back the last of his energy drink and types ‘seizure’.
A lot comes up and it all seems very relevant.
Kaminari grimaces as he scrolls through lists of symptoms. They all seem to fit. There are apparently many types of seizures, and according to google, even the symptoms that precede his apparent seizures are seizures. Auras, they’re called in some articles. The seizures that he’s always imagined in his mind, the big ones where you jerk around and lose control of your body, are called tonic-clonic seizures, and he can’t see himself when he blanks out, but they would explain how sometimes he has twitchy muscles and sore joints after his episodes. It also explains why he gets all staticky after, if he’s releasing electricity. One article says that people with emitter quirks may accidentally use their quirks while seizing.
The comments on the medical pages he looks through are mostly positive. Lots of people say that they got their seizures under control with medication or therapy or both, and can do everything a normal person can. They’re doctors, athletes, even sidekicks. One person writes that before they were diagnosed and treated, they would have up to fifteen seizures a day, and Kaminari feels a little bad that that makes him feel better about himself.
But there are negative comments, too. People talking about how they can no longer work or drive, can’t escape the pain and confusion that their seizures cause throughout the day. Someone comments that they had to drop out of school. Kaminari’s stomach sinks.
He can’t be a hero with seizures. What happens when he seizes during a villain attack, or can’t recover fast enough to save someone? He likely won’t even get that far. There’s no way that Aizawa or any other teacher would let him continue school here if they knew he had a disability like this.
But he can’t just… give up.
Maybe it’s cliché to say so, but Kaminari has wanted to be a hero since he was little. The first birthday party he can remember was hero-themed, and he got an Ectoplasm figurine from his grandparents, which he’d taken practically everywhere. He’d watched that one All-Might movie probably a million times. He remembers running around the backyard with his sisters, helping them fight off his dad, pretending to be a villain. There’s nothing that he wants more than to be a hero, and he’s already had to work so hard to overcome the other obstacles his quirk has presented him with. This is just another hurdle. Another thing in his way. He can overcome it. He can, he will.
He can’t tell anyone about the seizures, he decides. Not even his friends. He trusts them with his whole heart, really, but they’re heroes-in-training too, and probably won’t hesitate to get help and tattle on him. Those instincts will help them out when they debut as heroes, but for now Kaminari needs to just handle this by himself.
He makes sure to delete his search history once he closes the many tabs he has open. Most of the important information he memorized, anyways. Seizures longer than five minutes are dangerous, and so is having three seizures in a row without regaining consciousness in between. Not sleeping, eating shitty food, stressing out and overall just not taking care of himself can induce seizures, or at least make them more likely to occur. Always try to lie down before a tonic-clonic seizure, preferably somewhere where he’s not likely to hit his head.
See? He’s got everything under control.
His plan works pretty well, actually. The seizures don’t stop, but they don’t really interfere with school or training either and Kaminari has created ways to cope. He keeps a blanket on his desk chair so he can pull it off and lay it down on the floor when he thinks he’s about to have a muscles-jerking kind of seizure. It’s also an excuse to convince himself to keep his room clean. He keeps his fridge stocked with juice boxes so he can regain energy more quickly after his seizures, and he buys a little stopwatch that he keeps in his pockets at all times, so he can time himself and make sure he never exceeds five minutes. Taking into account the minute or so it takes for him to focus enough to stop the watch, that is. He also goes to sleep earlier — which means midnight instead of two in the morning — and on the nights when his quirk-induced insomnia gets the better of him, he naps or goes to sleep even earlier the next night to make up for it. Less and less junk food appears in his drawers, replaced with (somewhat) healthier snacks, and as hard as school is he tries to force himself to relax when he has tests or assignments coming up. That part’s not as effective as the other changes he’s made to his life, but effort counts, he thinks.
As weeks pass, he realizes that he can usually tell when he’s going to have one of his big seizures. If he wakes up tired, or just feeling off in general, like he’s getting sick, then he probably will. Those days he’s careful, tries not to overexert himself and finds some excuse to not hang around his friends too long until he’s had the seizure. When he meets up with them afterwards, he can feel Bakugou’s eyes on him, but the boy never says anything and none of his other friends seem worried.
Kaminari could almost convince himself that he has this all under control. He feels pretty good about it, if he’s being honest.
Literature is one of Kaminari’s favourite classes, so it really sucks that he gets an aura halfway through it.
He’d woken up tired, even though he had gone to bed at eleven-thirty at the very latest and had slept in until just fifteen minutes before class started. He had forgotten to eat breakfast and nearly forgotten to take his meds before having to run to class so he wasn’t late to homeroom. Lunch is still an hour and a half away, so his stomach is growling, he feels sluggish, and his head hurts and everything sucks and suddenly his stomach starts that rising-falling pattern.
He’s never had a seizure in Cementoss’ class before. He’d had one this morning in homeroom already, but it had been during morning announcements and Aizawa-sensei had been too busy trying to sound like he cared about what he was talking about to notice Kaminari’s blank, unresponsive stare.
This is going to be one of his bigger seizures. He isn’t going to be able to get away with this one the way he did this morning.
Raising a hand, he says, “Cementoss-sensei, can I go to the bathroom?”
The hero turns around from what’s he writing on the board — a poem? Cementoss’ handwriting is almost worse than his — and sighs. “Not right now, okay, Kaminari? Let me finish this first.”
“Uh,” Kaminari can feel his hands start to sweat as he panics. His eyesight is starting to blur, too. “it’s kind of important—”
“Just five minutes, and you can go.”
I can’t wait five minutes, he thinks.
He could just leave. Just jump up and run out, and hopefully make it to the bathroom in time before he starts to seize, but then he’d have to come back and make up an explanation. And then Cementoss will sigh in exasperation and tell Aizawa-sensei about his behaviour, and then his homeroom teacher will have to lecture him on disobedience, and Kaminari has sat through enough lectures to know that he can’t handle one today. He already feels shitty enough that he has to deal with these seizures, and being told what a shit student he is isn’t really going to boost morale.
Time is ticking. He has less than a minute left. He could handle a smaller seizure, could handle his classmates seeing him stare at nothing for a couple of minutes, but not this.
Not this, not this.
But it’s inevitable. The burnt taste of chemicals dances on his tongue. He resigns himself to his fate, kisses his dreams of being a hero goodbye, and slides off his chair so he can lie down on the floor. Maybe he can explain this away by making something up, like he had too much caffeine today. He’s pretty sure he read somewhere that that can cause seizures.
“Kaminari? Kaminari, get up, what are you doing on the floor?”
Through his blurring vision, he sees Jirou leaning over him, eyebrows furrowed. She opens her mouth but he can’t hear her. He can’t hear anything anymore. There’s vibrations like someone is walking towards him, and then his arm muscles lock up, and black overtakes his vision, his mind, everything.
When Kaminari normally comes back after a tonic-clonic seizure, he’s on his back. This time, he’s on his side. His eyes try to focus on the foot of the desk in front of him. His arm is flopped in front of him, his leg bent, his nose is inches from the smooth floor. The recovery position. They were taught that the recovery position is mostly to ensure that unconscious people don’t choke on their tongues or vomit.
Speaking of, Kaminari’s mouth is filling with saliva. His stomach churns unpleasantly. He must make some sort of noise, because he feels hands pull him to a semi-sitting position and push his head over a garbage can. He feels himself accidentally shock whoever is holding him, but they don’t flinch. Nothing comes up, not even water, probably because he hasn’t eaten or had anything to drink since last night. Two components that could’ve helped to move this seizure to another day, or at least prolong it until after school.
He’s lowered back to the floor gently when he stops dry heaving. Painfully, he might add. He still has no clue where he is, or what time it is, or whose hands were just on him. It’s very tempting to fall asleep. Before he can, though, he hears movement around him and a voice.
“Don’t wake him. He’ll come back to himself on his own.” It’s sounds like Aizawa-sensei’s voice, gruff as always, but softer than normal.
As he drifts in that void between conscious and unconscious, he hears his homeroom teacher’s voice somewhere above him. He lets it relax him. Eventually, the noises around him get sharper and the soreness in his body becomes more pronounced, a sign he’s coming through his disorientation. He’s in Cementoss’ class, it’s probably about 11:20 in the morning, and he just had a seizure in front of everyone.
His eyes peel open and he groans. Someone says, “he’s awake now.” Kaminari wants to reply that he was never really asleep.
He doesn’t have the energy to sit up on his own yet, so he rolls over to look at the ceiling. Messy black hair and Cementoss’ blocky head greets him. Turning his head slightly to the side shows him that Iida is also standing there, hands nervously fidgeting around. He was the one helping him sit to throw up. Kaminari swallows. That’s embarrassing.
“Can you hear me, Kaminari?” Aizawa-sensei asks quietly.
Not trusting his voice, Kaminari nods.
“You just had a seizure. You’re probably very tired and confused. Can you answer some questions for me?”
He can’t really say no, so he nods. Iida’s flailing movements are distracting now that his overactive brain is clearing up.
“Do you know where you are?”
“Cementoss’ class. Um. Literature.” The words feel sticky in his mouth.
“What day is it?”
He has to think about this one. “…Wednesday?”
“Do you know who I am?” His homeroom teacher doesn’t say if he got the date right or not, just moves to the next question. It makes Kaminari feel a little calmer. Less like he’s being quizzed.
“Aizawa-sensei.”
“And what about him?” He points to Iida, who stands up tall.
“Iida. Class— class president.”
“Good.” Aizawa-sensei rubs the bridge of his nose. “I’m going to bring you to Recovery Girl so you can rest a little. Then we’re going to the hospital.”
“Wait, hospital—”
“Kaminari. You just had a seizure in class. There’s no record of seizures in your medical files. We have to make sure this isn’t anything dangerous. We’re going to the hospital, no excuses.”
There’s nothing to say to change Aizawa-sensei’s mind, and he’s probably right. Kaminari feels a wave of exhaustion barrel over him, and just nods and closes his eyes.
Aizawa-sensei picks him up bridal style, and Kaminari’s ability to feel embarrassed gets thrown out the window. He just doesn’t have the energy to. He leans his head on his teacher’s chest and tries to ignore the whispering he hears as they leave the classroom. Ah, so that’s where all his classmates went. He lets Recovery Girl tuck him into a cot and passes out as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He doesn’t dream, thankfully, because otherwise he’d probably dream of how it will feel to be kicked out of UA.
Recovery Girl forces him to eat a cookie and drink some juice when he wakes up, an hour or so before the school day is over. She fusses over him, and normally Kaminari would love the attention, but right now he just feels like a terminal illness patient or something. He checks his phone, which Aizawa-sensei thought to bring him, and he surprisingly only has a handful of messages. Maybe Cementoss-sensei told everyone to leave him alone, let him sleep and recover instead of bombard him with texts. They’re all from his friends aside from one from Midoriya, who sent him a long paragraph about how he shouldn’t feel embarrassed and how much he hopes Kaminari feels better soon. He laughs and hopes he’ll remember to answer it later.
A half hour later, when Kaminari is considerably less shaky, Aizawa-sensei comes in and gestures with his head. “Let’s go, problem child.”
They head out to the parking lot, get in his teacher’s car — which is pretty nice, actually, and has a cute little cat head hanging from the rear-view mirror — and drive to the hospital. The ride is silent, except for Aizawa-sensei’s quiet huffs when someone cuts him off or drives too fast. Kaminari grins as he imagines his teacher with road rage. He wonders if he’s trying to hold back because Kaminari is in the car.
The waiting room is pretty empty, and not even twenty minutes after handing the receptionist his filled-in patient papers, someone is taking him up to talk to some doctors and get tests done. Kaminari looks back at Aizawa-sensei, heart thumping, and his teacher just nods reassuringly.
He gets his brain scanned in a big, loud machine, and then he is taken to a room where they stick electrodes to his head and monitor his brain activity on a computer. They test his quirk, too, getting him to power some lightbulbs and absorb some electricity. He lets the electricity trickle down his arm to his fingertips, and smiles, pleased, when a nurse gasps in awe at the electricity that jumps between his fingers. The scariest test is one where they lay him down on a large, elevated surface and attach the electrodes again. They say that one of the doctors is going to induce one of his big seizures with her quirk so they can see how his brain reacts when he’s seizing. He knows it’s coming, but still struggles to control his breathing when the aura comes. He wakes up from his second tonic-clonic seizure of the day, feeling only marginally better than last time, and falls asleep on the stretcher that they lift him onto.
He’s nudged awake an hour later by Aizawa-sensei, still a little tired but not as sore or foggy. He yawns.
“You can go to sleep when we get back to the dorms. The doctor wants to talk to you.” Aizawa-sensei crosses his arms and stands next to Kaminari’s bed as a doctor comes in.
“Kaminari Denki?”
“Um. Yeah?”
The doctor laughs and rubs a hand over his friendly-looking beard. If a beard can be friendly. Kaminari instantly feels more relaxed. “Don’t worry, we’re not going to force you to stay here any longer than necessary. And no more tests.” He flips through a chart. “So, how long have you been having seizures?”
Kaminari freezes. He glances up at his teacher, who looks bored, but he’s known Aizawa-sensei long enough to know that just because he looks like he doesn’t care, doesn’t mean he actually doesn’t care. He’s probably going to explode when he finds out how long Kaminari has been hiding this.
“I had the first one a few weeks ago, I think. But. I might’ve had some before that too, and just didn’t notice.”
No explosion. Yet. But it’s only a matter of time and when.
“Yep, that’s common. From what you told the nurses earlier, you said the first seizures you experienced have no sudden movements, just a kind of… zoning out?”
It sounds so simple when it’s explained like that.
“We’ve concluded that those are mostly likely focal impaired awareness seizures. Usually they’re characterized by automatisms, which are involuntary actions like wandering or moving your hands. You didn’t mention experiencing these, but it’s possible that you’re doing them without realizing it. It’s very common for people experiencing them to not know they’re having them at first, because of loss of awareness during the seizure itself. You told us earlier that you don’t remember the seizures when you regain awareness?” Kaminari nods. “Then that makes sense. You likely thought at first that you were just daydreaming, or spacing out.”
Aizawa-sensei is as still as a rock beside the bed. If Kaminari were a braver person, he’d look over, but he’s not, and would rather chop off his own arm than see the disappointment in his teacher’s face.
“The symptoms you feel before a seizure — the stomach swooping, blurred vision and weird taste — are also small seizures. You may have heard of auras? In medical terms, they’re called focal aware seizures. They’re brief, and usually just feel like a headache, or dizziness, or an odd taste or smell. Mundane things, right?”
He already knows all of this information, but he can’t give that away, so he nods like he’s intrigued. He likes to think he’s a fantastic actor. His sisters would disagree.
“Now, it seems you’ve also been having what we call tonic-clonic seizures. That’s the one you had today in class. Those are a bit harder to miss. You would have noticed the sore muscles, how you end up lying down, maybe even the loss of bladder or bowel control.” Kaminari grimaces.
“Alright, so, based on what you’ve told us and the tests we’ve done today, we have concluded that you have quirk-related epilepsy.”
Epilepsy. He finally has a name to his problem. It’s hard to tell whether he’s happy about it or not. Or just indifferent.
Closing the chart, the doctor leans forward in his chair. “Listen to me, Denki. I know all of this might seem scary, or sudden. But this is a much more common condition than you think. It’s completely manageable, and we can get you started on medication in just a few days.”
“And—” The doctor grins, clapping his hands together, “—I have good news! Epilepsy is very prevalent in electricity-type quirk users. In fact, most kids with electricity quirks are put on preventative seizure medication for a few years after their quirks come in. Maybe you remember taking medication as a kid?”
Kaminari blinks. “Oh. Yeah, I do remember that. All my sisters had to take it, too.”
“Well, there you go. With a quirk as powerful as yours, it’s not particularly surprising that you are having seizures. You have ADHD, correct? Well, these seizures are just another way that your body is trying to deal with all of the constant electricity thrumming around in your body. And even better news, these seizures aren’t harmful to you.”
That makes Kaminari pause. He hadn’t even been thinking about the possible consequences of the seizures. What if they had been zapping away at his brain this whole time?
But now the doctor is saying that they aren’t.
“In other people, seizures are electrical disturbances in the brain. They can be harmful, in some cases. For you, though, they’re the result of an excess amount of electricity overloading some of your neural pathways. Since you have high levels of electricity travelling through your brain, all the time, the seizures aren’t doing any harm. Think of them more as… inconveniences.”
Kaminari jumps when Aizawa-sensei speaks. “So you’re saying that his seizures haven’t been affecting him physically?”
“I am. The seizures themselves aren’t hurting him. However.” For the first time, the doctor’s expression changes to one of complete seriousness. “Just because the seizures aren’t harming you, that doesn’t mean they still can’t be dangerous. If you have a focal impaired awareness seizure — the ones where you blank out — while, say, driving, you could do serious damage to yourself or others. When you have a tonic-clonic seizure, if you’re not prepared you could hit your head or injure yourself as you fall, or choke on your tongue if you don’t regain consciousness. On top of that, when they induced a tonic-clonic seizure earlier, we noticed that you release a small amount of electricity while seizing. Having a seizure while swimming or showering could be potentially deadly.”
Kaminari feels a little sick.
“This is a condition that you can treat and live with. But you’re going to have to change some things in your daily routine to ensure your safety. That means eating well, getting enough sleep. Avoiding bright, flashing images or lights. Telling your teachers if you feel like you might have a seizure. It’d also be helpful if you told your classmates, so they know how to help you if you start to seize. Oh! And…”
His doctor pulls a package out of his coat’s pocket. He reaches in and holds out a shiny silver bracelet. “You might find it useful to wear a medical ID bracelet.”
“…An ID bracelet?”
“Medical ID. It will notify first responders of your condition, so they don’t give you anything that could interfere with your medication. It will also help you avoid unnecessary trips to the hospital.”
Kaminari doesn’t like the idea of wearing a bracelet, broadcasting his condition to the world. It’ll mark him as the weak link, the first one to go after.
“Is it mandatory?”
His doctor hums thoughtfully. “No, but I really do recommend one. They can save lives.”
In the end, Kaminari gets one. He thinks about what his doctor said, about falling and getting hurt or crashing a car, and realizes he’d rather have to wear a stupid bracelet than die because he was too stubborn. He’s told he will get the bracelet mailed to him at the dorms within a day or so.
Aizawa-sensei is with him the whole time he’s handed pamphlets, talked through treatment and aftercare and how to take care of himself. His teacher says that he’s trained in giving medical care to people who have seizures, and that he’ll be teaching the rest of his students soon. Kaminari whips his head up at that. He’s going to have to tell his classmates, now, for sure.
By the time they leave the hospital, it’s past supper time. The hospital has a staff member with a quirk that enables him to know the exact medications, measurements, and all, to give patients, but in order to do so he has to take a few hours to review his clients’ body measurements and other important information. On top of that, there are lots of people in the city that need prescriptions. A week from now, he’ll have his meds — which will help control and prevent seizures, not stop them altogether, remember they’re not a cure, Denki — and some semblance of normalcy. He guesses this is his punishment for keeping everything a secret for so long. He has to deal with it a little longer, but now everyone will know.
The drive back is even more awkward than the drive there. The silence is tense, this time. Kaminari sneaks a glance at Aizawa-sensei, but he’s just staring ahead, mouth turned down in… annoyance? Something bad.
Halfway to the dorms, he says, “Why didn’t you tell anyone, kid?”
There’s no acceptable answer, and Kaminari knows it. “…I don’t know. I thought I could handle it.”
Aizawa-sensei laughs without humour. “Handle it? They’re seizures, problem child.” He sighs deeply. “But you knew that, didn’t you.”
“Yeah. I, uh, googled it a couple of weeks ago.”
More silence, but not the angry kind. Resignation. Kaminari has become very familiar with that feeling as of lately.
“You’ve had a long day, so I’m not going to push you to talk tonight. But we will be talking tomorrow.” His teacher meets his eyes for a split second before he turns back to the road.
Kaminari squeaks. “Oh, uh, yeah. Sensei.”
They get to the dorms and Aizawa-sensei walks him to the doors. As he’s about to go inside, a hand settles on his shoulder. He turns.
“You’re not in trouble, Kaminari. And I’m not mad at you because this is happening, I’m just… frustrated that you didn’t say anything.”
Occasionally, Aizawa-sensei shows a glimpse of how much he loves his class. Sometimes in a gesture, like buying everyone ice cream, and sometimes in what he says, and sometimes in expressions. Kaminari sees his teacher’s eyes soften and knows that no matter what he says tomorrow, he just wants him to be safe.
“Sleep well, kid. You have my number. I already told the rest of the gremlins to leave you alone tonight.”
Kaminari grins. “Goodnight, sensei!”
Aizawa-sensei grunts and waves his hand dismissively.
True to his word, the common room is empty when Kaminari gets in. The hallways are weirdly quiet, too, although Kaminari thinks he can hear some sort of calming meditation music coming through Kouda’s door.
He gets ready for bed, already giving up on doing his homework tonight. Then he remembers his friends’ texts. He should probably answer them so they know he’s okay.
14:21
the rock TM
aizawa sensei told us not to bother you but
you were really manly today kami!
feel better!!
15:06
anger management
You’d better not be dying shithead
Or I’ll come to the hospital and kill you myself
12:47
bubblegumbitch
Denks I love you so much pls be okay!!!
15:33
sero tonin
Hey um
Let us know when you’re okay?
We’re all really worried about you man
14:58
queenlesbian
feel better denki
don’t feel pressured to
like
tell us anything
if you don’t feel comfortable
13:11
izukuwu
Kaminari-kun! It must have been so scary to have a seizure in class but I promise there is nothing to be embarrassed about! We were all…
He smiles at his friends’ sweet texts (most of them, anyways. Bakugou’s was a little aggressive). He texts them back, just quick answers to let them know that he’s back and in fact not dead. Mina floods the bakusquad group chat with heart emojis until he considers muting the chat so he can go to sleep, but thankfully she stops when Bakugou threatens to kick her out.
Kaminari sticks the end of his phone charger in his mouth, more for comfort than anything else, and lets his body catch up with the two seizures he had today. He falls asleep with his phone charging in his palm.
He figures he’s still going to school, even after his long trip to the hospital yesterday, so Kaminari throws his uniform on and races to get ready in time, as usual. He loses a minute to a small seizure in the bathroom as he’s brushing his teeth, and then a few more minutes as he comes out of it and has to wash the toothpaste off of his face from when he’d been twitching his hand, smearing it everywhere. Everyone has already left to go to class by the time he leaves his room, which he’s kind of happy about. Don’t get him wrong, he wants to see his friends, but it’s still a little awkward knowing that they watched him jerk around on the floor like a fish out of water yesterday.
He gets to homeroom as soon as the bell rings, so he doesn’t have time to talk to anyone. When he looks to his left, though, Jirou smiles hesitantly at him and rolls her eyes when Kaminari winks. Kirishima pokes his back and gives him a thumbs up when he turns around.
The bell rings for the first class soon after, but as Kaminari’s about to join his friends on the way out, Aizawa-sensei yanks him back by his bag. “We’re having that talk now. Sit.”
Oh right, Kaminari thinks. This is where he’s going to say that I can never be a hero with my condition. He’d almost forgotten about that in the excitement of yesterday.
“How are you today?”
“Uh. Pretty good, I guess?”
“Any seizures?”
Kaminari pulls at his hair. It’s a nervous tic that he’d only developed a couple of months ago, after that math exam from hell. “Just one this morning, while I was brushing my teeth. That’s why there’s…” He points at the white stain on his shirt and smiles sheepishly.
Aizawa-sensei nods. “But you feel okay to continue through school today?”
“Oh, yeah, of course! It wasn’t really a big deal.”
“Kaminari.” He backs up a little as Aizawa-sensei leans forward on his elbows. “I want to make it clear that your well-being is a big deal to me. Don’t ever feel like you have to deal with anything alone, or push past your limits because you don’t want to disappoint me.” He leans back into his chair. “…That being said, I feel like I should apologize. Obviously, I haven’t gained your complete trust yet, if you felt the need to hide this from me.”
“Wait, no!” Kaminari slams his hands on the desk, harder than he meant to. “I trust you! I promise! I just… I don’t know, I didn’t want to tell anyone, not just you.”
It’s true, he does trust Aizawa-sensei. More than any other adult besides his parents, probably. He takes care of them, fights for them, wants them to be better and stronger and achieve their dreams. He’s like their parent away from home.
He’d never say that to Aizawa-sensei, though, because he doesn’t want detention.
“Then why didn’t you tell anyone?”
Kaminari bites his tongue. He knows the reason, and he does trust his teacher, but saying it out loud feels like speaking it into existence. “I— uh. I.”
“I want to help you, Kaminari. I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep important secrets like this from me or your friends, for any reason.”
“I didn’t tell you because—” Kaminari tugs his bangs again, harder. “—I know that you can’t. Be a hero. If you have a disability like mine.”
Unlike in the hospital, he wants to be brave, so he looks up when all he hears is silence. In his anxiety, the hair he’s holding is twisted around his finger so tightly it’s almost cutting off circulation. But Aizawa-sensei doesn’t look angry, and he’s not nodding along in agreement. He looks confused. “What? Who told you that?”
“No one, I just knew? Because, uh, you heard the doctor. What if I have a seizure in a dangerous situation, or I can’t help someone because I’m seizing? It’s a liability. I’d be a liability.”
His homeroom teacher switches very quickly from confused to murderous. Kaminari shrinks back, kind of scared for his life now, but he can’t think of what he’d said to make him so mad. “S-sorry, sensei—”
“Don’t apologize.” Aizawa-sensei lets out a long breath and rubs his face. He looks like Kaminari’s dad does when he’s filing taxes, except his dad usually follows it up with lots of creative swearing. “I don’t know who or what gave you the impression that being disabled makes you a liability, but it’s wrong. There are lots of heroes with disabilities, who are still able to do their jobs everyday. You can still be a hero, Kaminari. You will be, if you want it.”
His vision starts to blur, but this time not because of an impending seizure. Tears gather heavy in his eyes, burning his nose. “Oh.”
Aizawa-sensei laughs dryly. “Yeah, oh.” He crosses his arms. “You’re a good student, kid. I know it might not feel like you’re as good or talented as your classmates, but you’ve improved more than maybe anyone else since school started. Your quirk is incredibly powerful, which is very helpful when training to be a hero, but it also means that you have more drawbacks than others. That doesn’t mean that you’re not trying hard enough or that it’s your fault. If anything, you’re stronger than most kids because you have to deal with these things.”
A hot tear rolls over his lip, and soon there are more and more, rolling down his face. He cries embarrassingly easily. He can’t stop now even if he tried.
“I’ll be here to help you, and so will all of your friends. We want to help you. You’re learning to help yourself, too. And I know you’re still thinking you’re going to be kicked out of UA for this, but stop. I promise you’re not.”
Kaminari’s eyes widen. “How did you—”
“I’m not dumb,” Aizawa-sensei says. Kaminari laugh-sobs. He presses his face into his hands, like he can push the tears back into his eyes, but it just leads to getting his palms soaked. Footsteps get closer and closer until his chair is swivelled to the side and Aizawa-sensei’s face comes into view between his fingers.
“You’re okay, kid. You’re okay.”
Kaminari’s head falls onto his teacher’s shoulder, and Aizawa-sensei remains kneeling down and lets him sob into his shirt. It’s like finally straightening up after carrying an elephant on his back for nearly a month. He forgets if that’s the right metaphor. He cries until his tear ducts run out of water, and then dry sobs until his chest hurts, but it feels good. Not physically, but emotionally. When he sits back up, face blotchy and eyes dry, Aizawa-sensei sighs like he’s finally been freed of a weight, too. Maybe knowing his students are suffering and not being able to help is just as stressful as what Kaminari was feeling.
It’s almost time for his second class, which means Kaminari’s been crying for at least forty minutes. He feels like he’s just made up for every time that he’d almost cried but stopped himself before he could. His eyes burn, dry as the desert. As he wipes his face off with the tissues on Aizawa-sensei’s desk, he makes eye contact with him, and his teacher says, deadpan, “Do you need eye drops?”
Kaminari laughs so hard that he almost starts crying again.
At lunch, he sits at his usual table and everyone immediately jumps on him.
Kirishima grins and starts loudly telling him how well he handled himself on Wednesday, and wow, I hope someday I can be as manly as you, Kami, and Bakugou yells at him to back off and almost explodes when he smacks his bowl of ramen while gesturing. Mina literally jumps on him, wrapping her arms around his neck and crying about how much she missed him in class, I had no one to be stupid with, it was so lonely! Sero, relaxed as ever, just elbows him and asks him what he did this time to have Aizawa-sensei have to talk to him privately. All the commotion causes his other classmates to join in, herding around the table and expressing their concerns. Midoriya looks nervous and awkwardly tells him that he’s always available to talk to, and Momo offers to create something for him to help, if he ever needs it, and Ojiro’s tail worms it’s way into his lap, swaying eagerly like it wants to be pet. Iida eventually pushes his way to the front and forces everyone to go back to their tables, this is not behaviour befitting of class 1A! We are better than this! Kaminari-kun might not appreciate all of this attention at once!
Kaminari settles into lunch, laughing and chatting with his friends like always, and no one asks him to explain himself. He’s thankful, because he doesn’t really want to explain it all here, right now. Aizawa-sensei made it clear that he’ll have to tell them sometime, but that can wait until they’re back in the dorms, at least.
“So, what happened yesterday?”
Kaminari chokes on his shrimp senbei. Sero smacks his back until he can breathe again, and because he’s Kaminari’s best friend ever, platonic love of his life, he says, “Mina, you can’t just ask him that out of nowhere.”
Mina blushes, which means her cheeks turn purple. “Sorry, Kami, I just. You were gone all day yesterday. Aizawa-sensei said you went to the hospital. We were really worried!”
There’s no one else in the common room besides their little group, spread out on the couches with snacks. There’s a cooking show playing in the background that no one is paying attention to. Kaminari looks at his friends, and they’re all looking at him like they’re genuinely interested in what he has to say, even Bakugou, who usually at least pretends to not give a shit.
He tosses the bag of senbei at Kirishima. “Can you guys text the class group chat? Aizawa-sensei said I have to tell everybody at some point, so I guess I’ll just do it now.”
In barely any time at all, the entire class is in the common room, squished together on the furniture or sprawled out on the floor. Todoroki is sitting on the coffee table, completely oblivious to how his feet are resting right where their food would go. Kaminari stands up like he’s about to do a presentation. He loves talking and he loves attention, but right now his hands are sweating buckets.
Is this how Bakugou feels all the time?
“Uh. So,” He laughs nervously. “You’re probably wondering about what happened yesterday.”
“You don’t have to tell us if you feel uncomfortable, Denki.” Tokoyami says, and he’s definitely one of Kaminari’s favourite classmates. If he had favourites. It’s dark enough in the room that Dark Shadow peeks over the top of the couch, behind him.
“I do, actually,” Kaminari says, though, because he can’t procrastinate this like he does everything else. “I had a seizure yesterday. I… have those now. Seizures. Kind of a lot of them.”
No one says anything, so he continues. “The doctor said it has to do with my quirk, the extra electricity, like, overloads my brain, or something. But it’s not harmful!” He adds when Midoriya’s eyes start to look a little wet. “I’m okay! I just have to take medication and wear a weird bracelet and stuff. And I don’t– I don’t want you guys to treat me any differently, okay? I’m still the same person, except sometimes I’ll zone out or, like, jerk around on the ground for a couple of minutes.”
It’s a lot easier than he thought it would be to explain. He smiles awkwardly as he watches his friends blink at him. Midoriya blinks especially hard to get rid of the tears that were gathering in his eyes.
It’s quiet for a few agonizing seconds, before Iida stands up. “Thank you for sharing with us, Kaminari-kun! It must have taken a lot of courage to tell us this, and we will cherish your trust in us.”
“Yeah, thanks for telling us!” Ochako pipes up. “It was honestly really scary yesterday, but we’re just happy that you’re okay now,” She smiles so wide that her eyes are just little crescent moons.
“Um. Can we ask some questions? If that’s okay?” Koda squeaks from the corner armchair.
Kaminari has no clue what they’d be curious about, but he shrugs. “Yeah, sure.”
“What do they feel like?”
“Do they hurt?”
“What do we do if you’re having one?”
“Does anything trigger them? Should we stop our disco parties? We probably should.”
Kaminari can’t pick out who said that last one, but they sound very forlorn about it.
Also, apparently there’s a lot they’re curious about.
Kaminari laughs awkwardly and answers their questions as well as he can, which isn’t very well at all. He’s not a doctor. He barely understands the condition himself. But his classmates seem to take mental notes of his words, and when he says that not sleeping can contribute to seizures, Shinsou says that he’ll try to start sleeping earlier, too, so Kaminari won’t feel the need to stay up late playing games with him anymore, and Kaminari only doesn’t cry because his tear ducts are still dried out from earlier. He’s not sure what he expected when he told them about everything, but no one seems to care. No one questions his ability to be a hero, and no one asks anything offensive or too personal.
They really are the best class. They definitely care about each other the most of any class, anyways.
The information session dies down as they move on to other topics, and someone starts a fighting game. Their little gaming tournament leads to Asui knocking Bakugou’s character out in just thirty seconds in the finale, which is the most exciting thing that’s happened all week besides the seizure incident (which is what Kaminari is calling it now, because it sounds intriguing and mysterious). Everyone starts screaming. He’s pretty sure it’s Hagakure that knocks over the expensive-looking vase, but everyone is too busy freaking out to do anything about it. Bakugou’s eyes are flashing red, like one of those feral dogs.
A few hours later and the common room empties out and it goes back to just being the bakusquad. They managed to put the vase back together using some glue that Momo made. Bakugou has mostly calmed down and is semi-angrily drinking tea. Kirishima puts his arm around Kaminari’s shoulders, pulling him closer. “You can always tell us things like this, you know.”
“I know.” And he does know that, now, so it’s not a lie.
“It’s so manly that you’re going to be a hero with epilepsy, Kami! Now tons of kids with epilepsy will look up to you!”
“Oh, yeah, they will, won’t they?”
Bakugou rolls his eyes, but in a caring way, if that’s a thing. “Whatever, don’t get cocky, dunceface.”
“Bakubro, just admit you think Kami is cool and awesome and inspiring.”
“You shut up, you piece of– ”
“Hey, I’m tired, aren’t you guys? Bedtime!” Sero, ever the mediator.
At the elevator, Kaminari turns and uses his arms to block it off, trapping his friends. He’s not one to be sentimental and gross, but.
“Thanks, guys. For, you know, not making it a big deal.”
“What, did’ya think we’d stay away from you or something after we found out?”
Well, he can’t really say no, because that kind of is what he’d thought, at least a little bit.
Sero’s teasing expression flattens out. “Dude.”
“I didn’t think you’d, like, abandon me or anything, but—”
“You’re so fucking stupid,” Bakugou says. Kaminari just shrugs, because yeah, “Did you choose to start having seizures or some shit? Huh? No, dumbass. Why would we fucking stay away from you for something you can’t control?”
Much like Aizawa-sensei, sometimes Bakugou finds ways to show how much he cares. Usually disguised in lots of swearing and an aggressive approach.
“Yeah, Kami, we just want you to be safe! And it wasn’t that bad, anyways! We just watched you kind of…twitch a lot, and release a bunch of sparks.” Mina shakes her arms like she’s imitating what she saw. “It’s not like a giant monster burst out of your chest or something!”
“We need to stop watching Alien.”
“But—”
“Mina, you bring it up like twice a week.”
Kaminari grins so wide he feels like his cheeks are about to explode. “I love you guys so much.”
“Sap,” Sero says.
“We love you too, bro!” Kirishima hugs him so tight his back cracks.
“Shut the fuck up,” Bakugou grunts.
His fancy new bracelet arrives the next day, inscribed with his name, condition and the name of the medication he’ll be taking for it. It fits perfectly on his wrist and he feels kind of stupid that he’d thought it’d be a big deal. It just looks like an accessory, like the jewelery that Momo wears on their days off. Mina runs her hands over it in fascination when he shows her, but that’s the only abnormal reaction. When he shows everyone so they’re all aware of it in case of an emergency, they just smile and say it looks cool.
Aizawa-sensei picks up his medication a couple of days later. Two a day, one when he wakes up and one before he goes to sleep. He has a headache the entire first day that he’s on the medicine, and his stomach churns that whole night, but those seem to be the only side effects. Almost immediately, the number of seizures he has starts to diminish. He goes from having sometimes five focal seizures a day, to having maybe one or two a day and only one or two tonic-clonic seizures a week. They’re still very much a part of his life, but Kaminari feels like he can breathe again. The doctor says that it’s likely that as he gets older and learns how to control his quirk better and increases his tolerance for electricity, he’ll have them even less frequently.
Think one or two tonic-clonic seizures every few months, or even eventually just a few a year, he says, and Kaminari almost cries in relief.
He also gets VIP access to the teacher’s lounge (which is the best part of all of this, actually, and he’ll cherish it until he dies), because there’s a big fuzzy rug in front of the tv and always at least one teacher in there to help him when he seizes. The new plan is that he’ll excuse himself from class when he feels an aura, and then head to the teacher’s lounge as fast as possible, and text one of his friends, or Aizawa-sensei, when the seizure is over so everyone knows he’s okay.
His first aura for a tonic-clonic seizure after the appearance of the meds and teacher’s lounge plan happens in Cementoss’ class, funnily enough. When Kaminari raises his hand to ask to leave, the literature teacher nods and smiles apologetically. Kaminari wakes up to soft fur under his cheek and Midnight-sensei covering him with a blanket, which is a million times better than hard floor and no one to tell him it’s okay.
It’s inevitable that he can’t avoid his friends watching him seize, of course. His focal seizures occur at very random times, and he never expects them, and sometimes they come on too quickly for him to get to the teacher’s lounge on time. One morning, he blinks and finds himself in the common room kitchen with Shouji staring in concern at him with three sets of eyes. Another time he seizes during a study session at Momo’s house and everyone fusses over him afterwards. Momo’s mom makes him take home a container full of little homemade cakes and clementines.
“We’ll be doing some special first aid training today,” Aizawa-sensei says one afternoon, when they’re supposed to be in math class. Class 1B is here, too, and they’re all gathered around in the grass outside. “Disabilities aren’t as uncommon in heroics as you might think. Many heroes live with disabilities, and you’ll encounter civilians with them quite often while doing your hero duties, too. It’s important that you know how to react in situations where you have to help someone with a medical condition. First, we’ll be focusing on how to provide medical aid to someone having a seizure.”
Class 1A pretends to be surprised at Aizawa-sensei’s words, which Kaminari finds both hilarious and amazing. He partners up with Jirou and practices the first aid on her, first. She was sitting right beside him when he started to seize, that day. She’s been kind of distant ever since. Like she’s afraid that he’ll seize again and she won’t be able to help. It must’ve been hard for her, and he wants to give her time, so he gets her to lie down first as he pretends to give her medical aid.
Eventually they switch, and she checks his breathing and gets him into the recovery position, and Kaminari grins up at her. She smiles back triumphantly. He trusts her to do this for him.
He looks around at the rest of the class, serious as they practice their positions and focus on getting everything right. He trusts all of them to be there for him when he needs it.
Kaminari still hates his quirk sometimes. It still makes him jittery and unpredictable and makes his thoughts jumbled and attention span about as good as that of a fish. It makes him forget his ADHD meds some days, which makes him forget his epilepsy meds and leads him to have two seizures that day instead of one. He still lies awake some nights, on the verge of tears thinking about all the ways he could fuck this up. All the ways he could fail to save someone or become a liability, or worse, a hazard on the field and cause more hurt than help.
But he has his friends and teachers now, and they all tell him everything’s okay, he’s okay, it’s okay to be this way. He trains his quirk so he can handle more electricity, takes his medicine to stop it from overloading his brain so much. He charges Todoroki’s phone and Shinsou’s laptop, and returns power to the dorms when a storm shuts it off, and manages to knock Bakugou off of his feet in a sparring session.
And he doesn’t really hate his quirk, or even dislike it, because he actually really, really loves it most days.
Oh, and he loves his class too. Second to his quirk, but still up there.