Preface

A Fair of Fun
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/45316732.

Rating:
General Audiences
Archive Warning:
No Archive Warnings Apply
Category:
Gen
Fandom:
おそ松さん | Osomatsu-san (Anime)
Relationship:
Matsuno Osomatsu & Matsuno Todomatsu
Character:
Matsuno Osomatsu, Matsuno Todomatsu, Matsuno Choromatsu
Additional Tags:
Everyone else is there actually, they only have one line tho, so I didn't tag them, except for Choro, who had 3 whole lines, Bets, Fluff, with a question mark, it's more..., Wholesome, Benimatsu, Beni - Freeform, amusement park shenanigans, Smart Oso, Beni being Beni, secretly talented Osomatsu, you'll have to pry this headcanon out of my cold dead hands, are the facts accurate?, Well as accurate as several Google searches can be that's for sure, also henlo again hehe
Language:
English
Series:
Part 5 of Osomatsu-niisan can do that? Series
Stats:
Published: 2023-02-25 Words: 2,048 Chapters: 1/1

A Fair of Fun

Summary

♥️💗

Totty discovers during an afternoon with Osomatsu, that his older brother is actually smarter than he lets on

Notes

Henlo again! I've been so busy with internship these past weeks but fear not! I continued to work on chapter 6 of What He Said and this last installment of my series until here it is, finally posted!

Chapter 6 will have a bit more of a wait, but it's still in the works! So for now, enjoy some wholesome Benimatsu ❤️💗

(Also I did research all the Japan trivia questions so they're as factual as any internet source, so y'know. XD)

A Fair of Fun

Six identical figures stand around a huge clock in the middle of a busy amusement park plaza, and among the cacophony of the rides and crowds of people all around the park, Choromatsu tries to call the attention of his brothers with a clap of his hands, "Okay guys remember, we meet back here by--"

 

"Karamatsu-niisan!! Hammer Game!! Hammer Game!"

"Heh~ Shall we beat our previous scores then my dear Jyushimatsu?"

 

"Hey Todomatsu do you wanna hit the coasters with me?"

"Only if you're paying Osomatsu-niisan~"

 

"Choromatsu... Shooting game"

 

"OI LISTEN--!" Choromatsu starts, but before he can even get the rest of his sentence out, 4 of 5 of his brothers had already turned a deaf ear to him in favour of their chosen activities. He lets out an exasperated sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Why do I even bother? Whatever we'll find each other when we get hungry anyway. Let's go Ichimatsu"

 

"Attention to all Akatsuka Amusement Park guests, because of the extremely sunny weather inside the park, the staff would like to remind everyone to take steps to stay cool and healthy. Refreshments and shaded areas are located everywhere in the park. Once again..."

The announcement continues to boom over all the parks speakers as Osomatsu pulls at his collar repeatedly to try and get some cool air in his red t-shirt. Like him, he can see that everyone in line were also trying to fight the heat without giving up their spots. "Jeez why are there so many people today anyway?"

 

He glances at all the people in front of him for the rollercoaster and groans, "Shouldn't these people be at work? It's like a Wednesday"

"You aren't one to talk about work Osomatsu-niisan" Todomatsu scoffs, fanning himself with one of the amusement park brochures he'd picked up to try and fight the heat as well. He really couldn't be more thankful he'd worn his hat today. "Oh hey, what's going on over there?" 

 

Osomatsu follows his younger brother's line of sight to the bustling crowd of people gathered around a shaded area with small stage. From what they could see from the distance it seemed like some form of quiz game, the faint sounds of buzzer noises and dings further confirming it. A giant screen with a timer ticked slowly behind a the podium where the contestant stood, and from the looks and sounds of the crowd no one has been getting the right answers yet. 

 

Osomatsu watches as another red "X" flashes on the screen again and suddenly has an idea, he nudges Todomatsu with that smirk that always meant trouble. "Hey wanna go make some easy money?"

The youngest perks up at the term, "Easy?" He scoffs, "Someone's confident."

"Is that a bet I smell?"

Todomatsu grins, waiting in line was getting boring anyway. "This is why we get along so well Osomatsu-niisan! Terms?"

 

The older gives it some thought before snapping his fingers, "You pay the participation fee and I'll double it if I miss even one question, and you can have whatever prizes I win as consolation. Whad'ya say?"

He taps his chin with his phone for a moment. It almost sounded too good of a deal, but of course, Todomatsu was anything if not ambitious. "Triple it and we have a deal. And if you win?"

 

"Then I get a sweet cash prize and bragging rights, what more could I ask for? So? How's about it?" 

He loves how simple minded his brother was sometimes, Todomatsu steps out of the line giving up his spot. "Alright, it's a bet then!"

 

 

As they arrived to join the crowd, the current contestant was still in the middle of their own quiz, "Alright Irino-san. For question #2, "What is the largest and most populous island in Japan?" Your choices are: A. Hokkaido, B. Honshu, or is it C. Kyushu? You have 5 seconds on the clock, and... go!"

The contestant instantly presses the buzzer with confidence, "Obviously the answer is A. Hokkaido!"

 

Todomatsu nods in agreement, "They do have the best seafood, and the tourist areas make for the best photos too. It makes sense"

Osomatsu smirks, "It's obviously Honshu. Watch."

 

True to his prediction, the iconic wrong answer buzzer resounds in the speakers, and the confused crowd is illuminated with a red glow from the giant X on the screen. 

 

"Oof! Unfortunately that is NOT the correct answer. The answer we were looking for is actually, 'B. Honshu'."

 

The screen switches to a picture of Mt. Fuji with a small ding, "Fun fact for everyone in the crowd, there are approximately 104 million people living in Honshu, which equates to about 80% of the entire population of Japan! Hokkaido only comes at about 5.3 million residents in comparison, which is just behind the second most populated island, Kyushu, at 12.9 million. Whether the presence of the iconic mountain helps with Honshu's population or if it is due to it also being the largest island of the country... That, is still up for debate" they finish with a wink. 

As the staff escorts the contestant off the stage, the host wraps up the round, "Well that was a good try from our 23rd contestant of the day! So far, no one has answered all 6 random questions correctly! Will YOU be the one to make it to the end? Register at our booth now!"

 

Osomatsu nudges the youngest as the crowd begins to disperse, "That's our cue! Ready to eat your words?"

 

"You wish." He smirks, "Are you ready to pay me triple the fee?" 

 

"We'll see~!" He replies hopping onto the stage. 

 

______

 

"Welcome Akatsuka Amusement Park guests! We're joined now by our 24th contestant Matsuno-san!"

Osomatsu waves at the cheering crowd and the host continues, "The rules are simple, answer all 6 randomly chosen questions correctly to claim the grand prize! But if you get even ONE question wrong, you will be disqualified from answering anymore questions, and will only be able to claim the consolation prizes. Are you ready to start Matsuno-san?"

 

"You bet!"

 

"That's the spirit! Now let's start off easy shall we?" The quiz show jingle plays and the first question finally appears on screen. "The basic administrative division in Japan is prefecture. Here's question #1, "How many prefectures are there in the country?" Your choices are: A. 26, B. 38 or C. 47? You have 5 seconds on the clock."

'Oh. That's easy! At least he'll get one question correct.' Todomatsu thinks relieved, as he watches Osomatsu press the buzzer and correctly yell out "C. 47!".

 

"Doing great so far Matsuno-san! Now onto question #2, This is a free answer question, Japan has recently been known for their watermelons being in this shape, "What shape are farmers growing them in?". You have 5 seconds on the clock, and... Go!"

 

"Ah for easy storage right? It's square!"

 

A resounding bell dings four times, and the crowd cheers when the green check mark appears on screen, "Amazing! You even gave the correct reasoning! As Matsuno-san said, they are regular melons that were placed inside boxes while growing. The resulting shape makes the fruit easier to transport, cut, and store. They also fit a tradition of giving beautiful, expensive fruits as gifts."

 

And just like that, each of the rounds continued with Osomatsu getting every question miraculously correct. From how many islands Japan currently had to what the meaning of NHK meant, he was acing everything until finally it was time for the last question of the quiz.

 

"Well what a turn of events folks! For the first time today we have made it to the last and final question of the daily quiz show! BUT before I reveal it, let me ask you one last time Matsuno-san, are you ready?"

 

Osomatsu makes eye contact with Todomatsu in the audience and grins, "I'm ready! Fire away!"

 

Suddenly the fun and exciting game show music turns tense, the lights dimming except for the spotlight on Osomatsu and the host for dramatic effect. Even the crowd goes quiet as the host announces the sixth question from a red envelope, "Your final question is a riddle. "What can cut like a knife, sting like a bee, bite like a lion. Carry truth and lies but never move or speak. What are we?" For this question, I will give you 20 seconds to think about the answer, you have one chance. And... Go!"

 

As the timer slowly ticked down, people in the audience started murmuring amongst themselves about possible answers, and for the first time, since the end of the first question, the youngest realizes that Osomatsu actually looked unsure about what to say. 

 

'Why isn't he saying anything? Was the question too hard?' Todomatsu bit his lip anxiously as the seconds on the timer continued to go down.  

If he was being completely honest, he'd expected Osomatsu to get maybe one or two questions right and call it a day, but with each correct answer his doubt for his older brother slowly became cheers of support. They were the first ones to come this far afterall! It was the final question, were they going to fail when they were this close to winning? 

 

Then, just as the last two seconds ticked on the timer, the chatter of the crowd was silenced by the resounding "DING!" of the buzzer finally being pressed.

Everyone in the audience waited in baited breath, eyes fixed on Osomatsu, his hand still on the red button. 

 

"Your answer Mr. Matsuno?"

 

".....WORDS!"

 

"WHAT?!"

 

Several people in the crowd turned to Todomatsu who quickly covered his mouth. 'What the hell was that idiot thinking?! What kind of answer even was that?!' He slaps his palm to his forehead, internally taking back the faith he put in him. 

 

The host continued, "That answer is..."

Todomatsu shuts his eyes, 'Ah here it comes, I can't bear to watch...'

 

"CORRECT!"

 

The crowd erupts in cheers and applause, the youngests' eye snap open to his older brother on stage, who's giving him the biggest shit eating grin ever. He can't believe it! That idiot actually did it!

"Oh my Akatsuka-sensei," Todomatsu just realizes, "that idiot actually did it?" 

 

He watches in amazement as the host hands him the cash prize as well as a giant pink rabbit plushie, a special prize for being the first contestant to complete all six questions of the day.  

"That's all for today's daily trivia game everyone! We'll see you again tomorrow from 1-5PM!"

 

The crowd then slowly disperses, still buzzing from the excitement of the last few minutes. Osomatsu hops off the stage and struts over to Todomatsu, handing him the plush with a slight bow. "My spoils of war" he grins. 

 

The youngest is frankly still speechless, not only did that actually work out, but it also meant that Osomatsu was actually kind of really smart? What the fuck?

He wasn't about to admit that while he was still breathing though, so instead, he takes the plush and goes, "You've been hanging out too much with Karamatsu-niisan he's starting to rub off on you Bakamatsu-niisan"

 

Osomatsu makes an overly dramatic offended gasp, "B-Bakam--?! WHO'RE U CALLIN STUPID??? DID YOU NOT SEE WHAT I DID UP THERE LIKE AT ALL???"

 

"Yes yes, congratulations niisan thank you for your hard work" he says monotonously.

But Todomatsu can't help it when his faux flat expression slowly turns into a mischievous little grin. 

 

"Why you little--!" 

 

The youngest uses the bunny to shield himself as the eldest tries to tickle his sides, or wherever he can reach. By the time they've unanimously decided on a truce, both parties were already out of breath from laughing so hard. They must have made quite the sight in amongst the park goers.

 

"Hah... This cheeky youngest, niichan didn't raise you to be like that!" Osomatsu said, wiping a fake tear from his eye, which Todomatsu responded with an eye roll. "Anyway, let's go find the others I'm starving. Fappy told us to meet at 3, and I still have money and bragging rights to use!"

 

Todomatsu shakes his head, hugging the rabbit plushie close to him. 'I guess there ARE some things I still don't know about my older brothers'

Afterword

End Notes

Also if you're curious about what the answers I skipped over were, Japan has 6,852 Islands but they've recently discovered up to 7,000 as of 2022, and NHK means "Nippon Housou Kyoukai (Japan Broadcasting Corporation)". I had actually planned to include all 5 questions and then some for the other contestant but I didn't want it to be too long XD (also kudos to you if you spotted all the little references I put in)

Hope y'all liked it! This is the last work in the series, but I'll post like spinoffs/mini stories later on when I have time. Anyway, see you when Chapter 6 comes out next month!

Hydrate before you die-drate, and take care love y'all!
❤️💙💚💜💛💗+💕

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