Osomatsu was lying on his side of the floor, head propped up by his palm while scratching his asscheek with the other. Karamatsu was sitting on the couch, who was so absorbed with the new magazine he bought he didn’t notice Osomatsu staring at him.
Osomatsu could tell it was a new magazine because none of the pages were dog eared and Karamatsu was taking his time looking at each individual page slowly, as if to savor his first read. He treated his magazines with care, but with older editions he would just simply flip to his favorite parts. Took less time to read, Osomatsu supposed. He does that with his older manga.
Osomatsu doesn’t see the point, since it’s not going anywhere and he can always just read it again.
Honestly, it’s so like Karamatsu to cherish insignificant things. He acts like a kicked puppy.
This new edition had a tan, oily, and incredibly muscular man on the cover, though honestly when didn’t they? If they weren’t fashion magazines with pretty, slender men showing off clothes Karamatsu liked, they were bodybuilders.
Osomatsu never bothered touching them, they seemed boring even heig was so bored he could die, but Karamatsu spent a stupid amount of time and money on them. It was difficult not to notice what your worthless NEET brother was doing when you are also a worthless NEET.
“Wouldn’t it make more sense for you to read magazines with women on them?” Osomatsu piped up. He started lightly tapping the floor, waiting for a response from Karamatsu.
Karamatsu took a minute too long to respond. His brother was sure he wasn’t paying attention.
“Hey! Karamatsu! You listenin’ to me?” Osomatsu said, louder this time. Karamatsu looked up, and had an inquisitive yet perpetually lost look to his eyes. Eager to respond, but doesn’t know to what. Dumbass. Definitely wasn’t listening.
“Ah, Osomatsu...my apologies, I missed what you said.”
“I know you did. It’s obvious. You don’t have to tell me.” Osomatsu huffed.
“Well, do you mind repeating yourself then? I’ll be happy to answer.”
“I said, why don’t you ever read magazines with women on them?”
“Because I read magazines...for...men?” Karamatsu trailed off with a question. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say.
“Right, but why don’t you ever read magazines with women on them?”
“Because I read magazines for men,” Karamatsu says, more matter-of-factly. Now he was looking at Osomatsu like he was stupid, which was pretty bold of him. Clearly, he doesn’t understand what he’s being asked.
“Okay, but that shouldn’t stop you from buying magazines with women on them, so what gives? Why do you only buy stuff with gross men on the cover?”
“These men are not gross , Osomatsu. They’re the epitome of masculinity. They have worked hard to get to their sublime physiques. I wish to model myself after them one day, so I obtain many sources of inspiration.”
“You’re not answering the question.”
“I just did.”
“But you aren’t. I still don’t have my answer.”
“What answer do you seek from me?”
“I already asked the question, asshole!” Osomatsu sits up, already starting to feel frustrated.
“Why don’t you ever get anything with women on them?! Don’t you ever get tired of looking at ugly men all day? Don’t you like to pretend women like you?! You like women! How come your magazine tastes don’t reflect that?!”
“Were you listening to me?”
“I was!”
“Then what are you confused about?”
“Are you stupid or are you avoiding my question on purpose?”
Osomatsu doesn’t bother waiting for an answer, instead he sits next to Karamatsu to see what he’s looking at. He slides an arm around Karamatsu as he flips the magazine shut. He keeps his finger in between the pages to bookmark his place.
Karamatsu gives him a wary look but otherwise says nothing about the interaction.
“Let me see what you’re looking at.” Osomatsu goes to grab the magazine, but Karamatsu keeps it at arm’s length.
“It was an article about how amino acids help build muscle. Surely, nothing you’re interested in.”
“Real suspicious how you just have an answer without hesitation. Almost like there’s something you’re hiding.” He makes a dash for the magazine again, but Karamatsu’s reflexes were better than his.
At this, Karamatsu's eyes flash with anxiety. He keeps his gaze fixated on the magazine and away from any possible eye contact. Osomatsu’s onto something.
“No, no. Of course there’s nothing to hide. I merely suspect you would find this incredibly boring. I can’t imagine someone like you would be interested in better ways to improve your body.”
Wow, what a vain asshole. It sounded like he was calling Osomatsu lazy. Or fat. He wasn’t wrong, but that doesn’t mean Osomatsu has to take that from him, of all people.
However, that was a fight for another day. Osomatsu doesn’t want to lose focus here.
“And you’d be right, but I wanna see for myself. You’re hiding something from oniichan. I can tell.”
“Gross.”
“Give it!”
Karamatsu sighs in defeat like he was appeasing a toddler.
“Alright, but please, I urge you to be careful. This edition is incredibly expensive and limited edition. I’d like to keep it in mint condition.”
“Yeah, alright.” He nearly yanked the thing away from his brother, who let go without resisting so as not to damage the magazine. So he wasn’t gonna tell Karamatsu he was eating chips earlier and pissed without washing his hands, no big deal. He’s done worse.
He flipped to the page his brother had his middle finger stuck in…
...Only to find that it was exactly what Karamatsu said.
In a dark blue font, the article was titled, Branched-chain amino acids and muscle protein synthesis in humans: myth or reality?
Long, neat paragraphs followed after for the rest of the two pages. Osomatsu wasn’t going to read this. He doesn’t even know what a fucking amino acid is.
That can’t be right though. What the fuck was Karamatsu acting so weird for, if this was really all there was to it?
“See, Osomatsu? Nothing suspicious. I was merely saving you the pain of having to read something you’re not interested in.”
Osomatsu wasn’t convinced. Karamatsu felt clammy under his touch. A big reason he liked to hold his little brothers...They were such bad liars! And you could tell if you were close enough. Some of them sweat (Totty, Ichimatsu, the idiot next to him) or even shake (Ichimatsu again, Jyushimatsu, Choromatsu.) when they know Osomatsu’s right on the money.
“Hm. I guess you’re right.” He says nonchalantly, shrugging.
When Osomatsu started to flip through the pages, Karamatsu was quick to grab the top. Luckily, Osomatsu had anticipated this and he slammed his greasy manchild hand on the glossy pages.
“AHT AHT. Keep doing that and it’ll rip. Oniichan’s gonna rip it!”
Karamatsu held off for the time being, annoyed but not enough to risk ruining the pages. He flipped through the pages, speeding up and slowing down when he saw articles and images respectively.
A lot of the magazine is composed of food and health articles and pictures of food. There was also an incredible amount of muscular men, mostly nude save for their underwear or shorts. They looked sweaty, glistening under the bright lighting photographers often use for portraits and were often flexing. Some of them were smiling, others looked ready to kill. He’s sure Karamatsu liked the more serious models, ever the one for drama and flair.
It was also huge! Special edition must’ve meant a double issue. He wished more of his ecchi manga was like that.
Karamatsu, meanwhile, looked almost embarrassed at watching Osomatsu look through all of this. He wasn’t used to the attention, sure, since all the shit he was into was boring and interested no one else except him. But that was no reason to feel embarrassed. Osomatsu wasn’t even sure if Karamatsu could feel that way about his interests, so unabashed was he these days that it bordered into narcissism.
“If you would be so kind as to return what is mine, I would be most pleased.” Karamatsu comments after watching him for a few minutes. His voice lacks the deep edge it usually has. Suspicious.
“Hold on. I’m almost done,” Osomatsu says, and he really was. Because there was nothing interesting or blackmail worthy in these pages. What the hell was all that buildup for! It amounted to nothing. He closed the magazine and handed it over. Karamatsu immediately appeared relieved once it was in his grasp.
“With the way you were acting I was expecting to see a dick or two, haha!” He laughs, and pats his brother's arm. Karamatu chuckled, struggling to sound natural. Actually, he tensed up at the comment.
“ Were there dicks in that magazine?” Osomatsu asks seriously.
“What?” Karamatsu splutters. “No, of course not. You saw it yourself?!”
“Maybe there’s some secret dick page I don’t know about. You keep secrets from me all the time!”
“I do not. There are no obscenities in my perfect fitness magazine , either . ” He says those last three words in English.
“Then what are you so sweaty for?” Osomatsu whines as he finally peels his arm off Karamatsu to dry it off on his jeans. “You think they’re hot or something?”
Osomatsu looks up. Karamatsu freezes like he’s been caught. He wasn’t trying to give himself away though, so he tries to school his face into its normal, trained expression. The face he made when he was trying to seem aloof. That wasn’t lost on Osomatsu. Now that he had something to latch on to he wasn’t about to let go.
“You think they’re hot.”
“Now, Now, Osomatsu, I-I assure you that’s not—”
“Ehh, you’re totally into them, aren’t you?! Holy shit! That explains a lot!” Osomatsu’s laughing pretty loudly. Karamatsu was quiet, actually he looked ready to cry or strangle his brother. Most likely a 30-70 combination of both.
This was so incredibly uncomfortable for Karamatsu, he had no idea his idiot brother could guess it so easily.
Osomatsu quieted down.
“Man, Karamatsu. You look sick. I was just kidding.”
“Ah….yes…” Karamatsu starts, deliberately inserting long pauses to pad for time. He looks like he’s about to choke.
“A..joke..Of course, my brother, I was laughing right along with you.”
“No, you weren’t?” Osomatsu said, bemused.
“In any case, I should get going. Jyushimatsu and I had plans soon and I have to get ready.” Karamatsu starts his ascend from the couch, thinking of how he was either gonna burn or hide this stupid thing.
“Karamatsu, are you gay?”
In his panic, Karamatsu took his thick magazine and thwacked Osomatsu upside the head with it so hard it knocked him out cold. He fell over and hit the ground with a thud.
Karamatsu exits the room.