There were odd sightings in a forest to the south. People would claim lights and screaming could be heard from there. People would claim they were from ghosts burned to death in some great temple fire from long ago, and if you got too close they would burn you with them.
It had been a problem known to the Heavenly Court for some time now, the rumours starting around the fall of Jun Wu, but given how much there was to sort out after said event nobody had really taken the time to deal with it.
It wasn't particularly pressing after all. If one looked closely at reports they'd realise that whatever the problem was, it actually hadn't caused any deaths (or even disappearances) and it was mostly just speculation born of wariness of the unknown. The fear surrounding it was enough to keep people away but enough to cause a panic, leaving them with a situation that was known to the generals of the south but unconcerning enough to place on the backburner while they got their affairs in order.
It was only so long that they could put it off however. As life returned to normal they had less to occupy them and prayers regarding the matter were really starting to pile up. It's not that they were particularly averse to investigating it at all. It seemed like an easy enough task, low stakes, just some lights and spooky sounds.
It was just that since they were both getting prayers on the same matter, it would require cooperation.
Maybe their relationship was better these days, but that didn't mean they enjoyed working together.
Feng Xin was reminded of this in bitter force as he walked in tense silence with Mu Qing through the forest in question, barely remembering to keep an eye out for their original goal. Mu Qing was grumbling under his breath about being dragged out for something so unimportant, and the accompanying eyerolls, while not aimed at him, were irritating all the same.
"Will you just shut up?" Feng Xin finally snapped. "If you're so mad about it then quiet down and concentrate so we can be gone sooner." That just caused Mu Qing's own annoyance to turn on him.
"I am paying attention! Maybe the real problem is you sticking your nose in my business instead of focusing on what's going on!"
"'What's going on', there's nothing going on, that's the point! The only thing I hear is your stupid muttering and it's driving me insane!"
There really was absolutely nothing to occupy them here. No ghosts, no fire, no screaming. There was only this dumb forest that looked exactly like every other woodland ever.
Albeit it was only evening and the sightings were only supposed to occur at night, but they had figured coming a little earlier might help them figure out how they emerged. Not that that was going particularly well, but still, the night was young.
"Whatever, that's your problem. Just keep up." Mu Qing grumbled before speeding up, clearly just wanting this over with. Feng Xin jogged to keep up with him, cursing under his breath.
"Don't just run away just because you don't want to take this seriously. This seems like a small problem, but it could be symptomatic of a bigger one. It's better to just do it properly." He said in a way that might be sagely if he wasn't so angry.
"Don't lecture me, I don't need advice from you." Mu Qing fired back irritably.
"Right, of course, because you're notorious for your good decisions and ability to handle things with grace."
"What and you are?"
"Better than you I'd bet!"
"Then bet!" Mu Qing wheeled on him, finger jabbing into his chest pointedly. "I bet I can clean up this mission just fine on my own!"
Feng Xin's brow crooked irritably, but he couldn't help grinning smugly at the same time. This was in the bag after all.
"Fine then! And what do I get when I win?" He stretched and cracked his neck in what he hoped was as taunting as a warm up gesture could be. It must have worked because Mu Qing's scowl deepened, but he was always easy to set off.
"When I win," he corrected with a grumble, "I'll have you kowtow to me 100 times and proclaim my superiority. You can come up with whatever little reward helps you get through the day though. It won't happen."
He actually had the audacity to smirk at the last bit, as he crossed his arms and rolled his eyes in that special smug way that made Feng Xin really want to punch him.
"Fine then! I'll make sure to come up with something that'll have you begging for mercy! And you won't get any!" He retaliated, the last sentence tacked on as an afterthought as his words came out by way of anger rather than constructive thought.
He knew he was riled up easily by the other, and rather than subject himself to his presence any longer, he turned to walk away, fists clenched. Mu Qing did the same, pointing back emphatically as he stalked off in the opposite direction with stomps that could have left dents in the ground.
"You better live up to that big talk when I next see you! Else I'll make you regret it!"
--
The evening was going slowly for Feng Xin, even more so once he had parted with Mu Qing. Annoying as he may be, he at least occupied the time. (And that was it, he didn't enjoy his company at all.) Everything looked the same, as all forests do, and he wondered more than once if he was walking in circles. It's not like there were any signposts in the shrubland.
It also didn't help that the details of the actual mission were vague too. 'Lights and screams' wasn't exactly a lot to go off. It would have been nice if someone could have mustered up the courage to get just a little bit closer and give him some proper details. It's like they wanted Mu Qing to win!
The only other information to go off was that tidbit about the temple fire, but that seemed like a rumour more than anything. It was something at least though, and with nothing better to latch onto he might as well just look for any signs of ruins right? Glaring daggers at the scenery wasn't exactly too productive.
The treeline was too thick to look at the horizon for structures, and so instead he kept his eyes to the ground for any rubble or debris that might point to a building being there in the past. Even some sort of path would be nice.
There was nothing though, because of course nothing could ever be easy.
By that point the sky had darkened, the surroundings becoming dark as he strained his eyes to see where he was going. He was debating lighting up a palm torch when the area abruptly lit up on it's own, a blinding flash and ghastly shriek almost scaring the soul from his body.
Feng Xin jumped back in horror at the visage he was faced with.
"GyAaaAaAaAAhHhHHHHElPmEheLpmePlEAsEItHurtsiThuRtSitHURtS"
Though he couldn't get a clear image of what was in front of him initially, the light being so blindingly strong that he was forced to throw his arm up to protect his eyes, he knew it was bad.
The heat being radiated from whatever was in front of him was enough to make him recoil a safe distance, even without the horrendous screaming. He could feel the hair on his arms start to sizzle at the proximity, his skin immediately breaking out into a sheen of sweat. It was a wonder it hadn't set the dense foliage on fire, though ghostly magic was probably at play there.
Peering over his raised arm the best he could, he squinted at the form in front of him as much as his eyes would allow. It was humanoid, which wasn't a particular surprise, but that was the best he could make out. It was engulfed in flames so strong he couldn't even make out any defined form beneath them but a gaping, scorched maw where it's mouth was, flesh almost dripping from its body, seemingly eternally screaming in intense agony.
And what screams. It's vocal cords must have been damaged beyond repair, the wails broken and crackling, and yet propelled by the sheer force of the owner's misery. More animalistic than human, it was clear this person had not died quickly. It would be the kind thing to dissipate it. Drawing his bow he took aim at the head. It was not a hard target for someone as skilled as Feng Xin, the ghost standing still enough that he could hit the mark with his eyes closed against the bright light.
He released the arrow. He heard the thud as it met its target. The screams continued as if nothing happened.
Feng Xin opened his eyes to squint again, confused. He could make out his arrow, which had indeed struck its head and stuck out haphazardly, but it hadn't dissipated. He fired another.
A bullseye, right between the eyes if they were visible. It didn't even flinch. It only continued to stand in it's spot, wailing horribly. The screams appeared to be louder now, reverberating across the skies somewhat.
For a brief moment Feng Xin wondered if it was the result of actually achieving some difference, but upon stepping back he realised the ghost in front of him had not changed. The area around them had, the shrieks of many echoing through the air in some sick symphony of anguish.
Locating the tallest tree in his proximity he scaled it hastily with the speed of an experienced warrior. Once he broke the tree line, he could look down across the ocean of foliage to see it interspersed with flickering glows every now and again, some stationary and some moving. It'd actually be rather beautiful if the sounds of misery did not drip from the air. Instead he could only wonder dumbly how this came to be.
Whatever happened here was a bloodbath.
"Hey." He wasn't even annoyed to hear Mu Qing's voice cut through his thoughts over the communication array. "Are you seeing the same shit I am?"
"Uhuh." He replied dumbly. "I think we might need to put our bet on hold for a bit. Let's regroup."
--
They had already mutually concluded that this was likely going to be a little harder than initially expected, but after some experimentation it was beginning to seem increasingly hopeless.
Dissipating the spirits did not work for some reason. They had tried multiple ways, from magical attacks, to attempting to put out the fires, even to adding more fire. Still, no change whatsoever.
They did make some discoveries however, being that the ghosts seemed to reset overnight.
At one point Mu Qing had decapitated one in a fit of frustration only for it to keep screaming even while void of its body. When the ghost disappeared in the morning and reappeared come the evening, head perfectly attached, they concluded that they were likely either regenerating overnight, or replaying a particular moment.
Regretfully, that was the extent of their progress however, and the torment of such a taxing case with such taxing company was draining the two.
"I just don't get why they won't leave! Shouldn't they be glad to be dissipated? They're clearly miserable so they should be grateful to be freed!" Mu Qing bemoaned, slamming a frustrated fist on the low table he was seated at. The legs were uneven, clearly bought second hand, and so the impact rattled it making the tea slosh in their cups and buns roll from the plate in the middle.
"Hey watch it!" Feng Xin bit as he snatched his cup up to hold safely in the air while Xie Lian steadied the table with one hand and attempted to save the wayward buns with the other.
He was able to block two with his arm while a third bounced over the edge and onto the floor with a slight plop. Sighing, he put the two clean ones back in the middle and picked the dirtied one up for himself.
"If they're not going away after all that then they clearly just don't want to go." He said as he took a bite. "You might want to try figuring out what their unfinished business is instead. Patience goes a long way." He added, chewing thoughtfully and pointedly ignoring his companions disgusted looks. At least it ended any bickering before it escalated.
"Why are you still eating garbage? You live in a mansion half the time, just get something new. And a better table while you're at it. How is Crimson Rain letting you live like this?" Feng Xin asked, nose scrunching a little in disgust.
"I swept the floors this morning so it's clean, no need to waste good food. San Lang understands that and supports my choices." Xie Lian explained through a mouthful chidingly, as if it were simple logic. It probably was to him, but Feng Xin had given up trying to figure out whatever was going on in His Highness's head ages ago.
"In any case how are we even supposed to take your actually relevant advice?" Mu Qing waved the diversion away with an expression of both disgust and annoyance. "It's not like we can ask what their problem is. Those things just scream, they don't react to anything at all."
The table fell into thoughtful silence as they pondered that question. How could one interact with something that couldn't truly be interacted with?
"Is there really no other information to go off of? Has it happened before in another place maybe? If there were a precedent then there might already be a solution."
"We already asked at the palace of Ling Wen. Nothing." Feng Xin sighed. The situation was just looking increasingly impossible.
"Hm." Xie Lian said, hand on chin and eyebrows furrowed as if debating how to proceed. "Maybe a fresh set of eyes would help? I could take a look and bring San Lang along, he knows pretty much everything about ghosts."
That made Feng Xin's spirits wilt a little. True they needed a hand, but if it meant having to go through the ordeal of existing in Hua Cheng's presence for an extended period of time, let alone having to rely on him, then the cost was truly too great.
"Why does he have to come? Can't you just tell him what we know and get his opinion?" Mu Qing complained, obviously wanting no part in that plan either. Xie Lian only sighed like he was expecting such a response.
"I know you don't like him, but is it really so bad to accept some help? It'll probably help to see it in person, and it'll get solved faster."
Neither of them really wanted to be the one to say 'yes, your husband is horrendous company' to his face, but their expressions gave it away quite clearly, so Xie Lian could only frown dejectedly as he realised he was getting nowhere.
"Fine, fine." He conceded, defeated. "I'll get his opinion first. But if he wants to come he can come, alright?"
They probably weren't going to get a better result than that. They really did need the help after all. And anyway, it's not likely Hua Cheng would willingly choose to hang out with them too, right?
--
The aura within the group of four could only be described as that of a volatile compound that had yet to actually explode, but in all likelihood would at any moment. As they walked along the path towards the forest, Feng Xin and Mu Qing had taken the lead ahead of the other two since they were the ones familiar with the area. Though they could not see Hua Cheng without turning around, Hua Cheng could definitely see them, and the daggers he was glaring at the back of their heads could almost be felt physically.
Apparently Xie Lian had to reschedule a dinner date to come out and help them, so while Hua Cheng definitely did not want or need to be there, he came anyway to make them regret it.
Feng Xin bravely attempted to walk off his sore ankle from where he had been 'accidentally' tripped up earlier and concluded that he certainly did regret it. He felt confident in assuming that Mu Qing, still pulling twigs out of his hair from his surprise acquaintance with a bramble, felt the same.
Xie Lian, who likely knew exactly what was going on but was blatantly not stepping in, seemed to be valiantly attempting to keep the air between the group lighthearted by gossiping about this and that from around the village in order to prompt a conversation. Quite unsuccessfully.
"-So by the time we got there the chickens had already escaped all over the yard, and the run was missing an entire panel, we still have no idea where it went, but the chickens were pecking up the entire garden and the new neighbours were losing their minds over it, but to be fair have you ever tried to catch a chicken that doesn't want to be caught? Even if you manage to grab them they'll make sure you know they're not happy about it."
"Oh no, did Gege trouble himself terribly? Next time just call me and I'll have it sorted. What happened next?"
"Oh, well we were trying to round them all up and we thought we were doing well but then we noticed the gate was unlocked and we were missing about half of them-"
It'd been going on like this for the past half an hour because they had stupidly decided to arrive early to let the newcomers witness how the ghosts had been emerging in case it was important. As much as Feng Xin appreciated His Highness distracting his husband enough to prevent further bodily violence, there was only so much small town drama interspersed with loverlorn commentary he could handle before he lost it.
The sun had nearly completely set though, so he may be free soon. The last light of the day was peaking through the skyline, the shadows of the trees elongated against the ground, the branches appearing like fingers coiling up to them along the grass. Feng Xin felt a slight shiver run down his spine as he felt the distinct sensation of walking into their grasp.
Then he heard the familiar sounds of Mu Qing's ever present whining as the lovely couple behind them upped their god given right to simper, and the eerie atmosphere was ruined.
(Perhaps he should have dwelled on it a little more. Perhaps he should have considered how strong the resentment of so many ghosts must be to persist for so long. Perhaps he shouldn't have written them off as harmless just because they weren't hostile to him and his cohort. Perhaps that's why he should have expected that upon bringing two more, something may be different.)
Once evening set that night, the usual lights and screams they had come to be used to (and resent) were nowhere to be seen. If he were a modicum less jaded he might have thought it a blessing and that their problems had resolved themselves. Unfortunately he had lived long enough to realise that it was never that simple, and something was dreadfully wrong.
"I thought you said they appeared every sundown? What's happening?" Hua Cheng growled in confused annoyance.
"They do! Something's different, don't jab at us!" Mu Qing seemed equally confused and looking a little on edge. He never did like the unpredictable.
"Maybe they've been scared off by San Lang?" Xie Lian supplied reasonably. "He's a strong presence and most ghosts know better than to cause trouble around him."
That might have been a sensible conclusion if there wasn't a glaringly powerful and vile energy shifting in the air around them, and they all knew it. It had risen suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere, not just one small entity, but the entire atmosphere surrounding them. It swirled in viscous resentment that only seemed to become thicker with every moment, as if a great many were converging on their small group.
They probably were.
"Gege, stay close." Hua Cheng whispered a warning as he scanned the area, hand on E-Ming, ready to react.
It was not that Xie Lian couldn't protect himself, but more a comfort against the rapidly approaching unknown. The two had actually already moved closer together without need of prompting, and Feng Xin belatedly wished for a similar sense of security in another as he watched from the corner of his eye. This didn't factor into his decision to shift closer to Mu Qing of course. That would be silly.
"Do you think it's the ghosts from before?" He asked. "But they're not screaming. Why would they stop screaming?"
"What else could it be? Just keep your guard up!" Mu Qing snapped back, high on alert and probably not appreciating the distraction right now.
It was probably right to pay attention. Whatever was surrounding them was deadly close now, and they could see it tangibly form into a dark wall of wailing souls climbing high above them and blotting out the scant light the moon afforded them as they turned to face it. Shadows gleaned over their faces as in one fell swoop it crashed down on them like a tidal wave, and Feng Xin's arms raised to block his face, bracing for impact.
It didn't come.
Looking up tentatively, he saw the last remnants of silver fall away as a shield of butterflies took the force of the hit and all fell away.
Huh. He definitely didn't expect Hua Cheng to protect them too. Glancing his way, Hua Cheng was adamantly ignoring them and instead fussing over Xie Lian, somewhat predictably. Catching Mu Qing's gaze, he only shrugged, receiving an eye roll in turn. It was never possible to tell what was going on in Hua Cheng's head, and trying to guess would be mind numbing. Asking to his face might only invite worse fortune too, so best leave it. He was probably just doing it for Xie Lian anyway.
Speaking of, he was fussing over Xie Lian probably a tad more fervently than usual, and Xie Lian looked to be doing the same for Hua Cheng.
"Hey, what's up with you two? What's going on?" Feng Xin asked with audible concern. It's not like he didn't care.
"The wave idiot, we're trying to figure out what it did." Hua Cheng seemed disconcerted, not looking away from where he was checking Xie Lian over.
"Do you two feel any different? You should check yourselves." Xie Lian added. He frowned a little when he only received puzzled looks in response.
"What do you mean? Didn't you block the wave from hitting us? It should be fine."
"What do you mean? The barrier didn't work, it phased right through. Were you too dense to feel it or something?" Hua Cheng's eye narrowed in suspicion as he stared down the other two, almost certainly watching for anything amiss. It couldn't be helped. The situation was just getting stranger after all.
Feng Xin tried running through the odds that he somehow didn't notice something when the wave hit and came back empty. He couldn't think of anything that felt odd or any sort of impact. Even the sinister aura from earlier was gone.
"No, I don't feel anything." He finally admitted, and Mu Qing affirmed the same. Nothing out of the ordinary.
"Are you sure?" Xie Lian pressed. "It was a hot sensation. Like warm water spreading over you, but dry. You didn't even feel a temperature change?"
"No, nothing. Also what do you mean you didn't shield us asshole, you were just gonna leave us to that thing?"
"Shut up, you're fine aren't you?" Hua Cheng's tone was one that clearly wasn't in the mood to argue, seeming increasingly concerned. Given how smug he was usually, the shift made the desire to argue back wilt in Feng Xin. "Instead let's question why you were fine and we weren't. If it could attack anyone here why did it go for us? Why did the ghosts change their behaviour once we arrived? What's different about us?"
"Didn't we already say it's because of you earlier? Maybe they thought you were a threat."
"Then why attack Gege too?"
Hua Cheng was getting increasingly riled up, and his body language was becoming more erratic, bristled and wary. Obviously something about all this was setting him off, and it was making Feng Xin nervous. It wasn't easy to rile up the Ghost King after all, and he had a suspicion that Xie Lian being endangered was only part of it. Feng Xin could feel something wrong about the situation too after all. It crawled up his back like a bad omen. They weren't getting out of this without trouble.
Xie Lian seemed to take the initiative to settle everyone down.
"I'm fine, and San Lang doesn't seem to be hurt either." He rubbed a hand up and down Hua Cheng's arm comfortingly to try and calm him down. He untensed a little, but remained on guard. "We won't accomplish anything by just standing around. Let's search around and Mu Qing and Feng Xin can let us know how much is different since they were here. Then we might be able to figure out what's caused this."
It was a sensible suggestion and there wasn't much else to do. The option to simply retreat and try again another time sat in the back of Feng Xin's mind, and something screamed at him to take it, but he shook it off. Hua Cheng seemed to have the same feelings, but less reserved about them however.
"Are you sure that's the best idea?" He said quietly. "The butterflies didn't work. What if something else happens?"
Ah. That explains his upset. Hua Cheng was always a stickler for making sure he was the most powerful person in the room, and having something circumvent his defences to possibly harm His Highness probably stung.
Xie Lian smiled softly, and spoke reassurances equally low, of affirmations and comforts. They stood close together, Xie Lian still with his hand on Hua Cheng's arm that was now creeping up to turn more into a hug. Feng Xin had to turn away from their display feeling like he was intruding on something private.
"How do they always manage to do this at the worst times?" Mu Qing had appeared beside him at some point, arms crossed in disapproval but also looking away respectfully. "Does he really need this much coddling? Nothing even happened."
Feng Xin didn't think that was fair. He may not understand much about the Ghost King's inner machinations, but he did understand that he had his insecurities, and that they were particularly volatile. Of course he'd be upset about the ambiguity of what just happened.
"Stop complaining, it keeps him out of our hair for a bit. He'd be insufferable if we let him get too paranoid."
"It's delaying the mission. He can get it together."
"The night's barely even started and everything's already off, what does it matter? We could do with him being in good shape in case we need him!"
"It doesn't matter what shape he's in, he clearly can't help with what's going on! He couldn't even block that wave!"
That caused Hua Cheng to look up with almost audible speed and a furious glare. The sharp movement of his head swivelling in their direction caught Feng Xin's attention enough to cause him to look back and step a little away from Mu Qing in an effort to distance himself from the source of anger. It was probably a futile effort but it was all instinct at this point.
"Excuse me? Were you saying something about me? You'll have to speak up, I fear I may have misheard you."
His voice was low in warning, but for some reason Mu Qing didn't take the option to back off this time. Perhaps he was as on edge as the rest of them. He always could only ever respond to things by lashing out after all.
"I said you're ruining this whole mission! First you tag along specifically to antagonise us, then you scare off our ghosts and provoke them into attacking us, then you sit here and whine because you're upset about it? Cry me a river, if you're gonna hang around then do something useful, I'm sick of having to put up with you!"
That definitely set him off to do 'something' alright.
"You. How dare you."
A dangerous glint came over his eyes as he carefully retracted from Xie Lian's slightly frazzled grasp to stalk over to Mu Qing in a slow walk, as if giving him a chance to flee. It was probably enough to scare most people, probably a warning he used often in his domain, but Mu Qing stood his ground. He knew him too well for that to work. He wouldn't do anything drastic in front of His Highness.
"Well? What are you gonna do about it?"
Their eyes were locked in a silent battle of glowers as he approached, but unexpectedly it was broken as Hua Cheng came to a halt before he could even reach an arms distance to Mu Qing. He jerked his legs a little awkwardly as if caught on something, and looked down wide eyed.
“hELpuSHeLPuspLEAseItBUrNsiTBuRnsITbuRnS”
Clutched at his leg were black branch-like objects protruding from the ground, spindly twig-like structures digging into his calves. Their target having gone stationary, they seemed to rise in greater quantities, bursting out of the ground to clutch at his robes as if attempting to drag him down with them. Using his body to pull themselves up revealed disfigured faces and torsos of dried and rotted corpses that moaned sounds of hatred and agony at him from the dirt.
They weren't branches. They were charred hands attached to charred bodies.
"How dare you! Get your hands off me!" Hua Cheng was oddly perturbed, unable to shake them off, and instead attempted to kick them away with his other boot.
He kicked one with enough force to send it’s torso flying a few feet away, disattaching from the bottom half of its body in the ground, but not destroying it. Instead it began crawling back almost instantaneously to paw at him as if nothing happened.
"Hey, what's happening?" Feng Xin asked with increasing concern. Hua Cheng was seeming to become ever more pale and panicked. Someone like him should never look that afraid. "I thought they were scared of you? What are they doing?"
"SssSavEUsSavEusSAVeuSPLeAseiThURTsiThurTSITHURTS"
The whispers were becoming louder, and an increasing amount were crowding around Hua Cheng to the point that he couldn't even draw E-Ming for them dragging themselves up his torso. Everytime he swatted one away another seemed to take its place, making breaking free almost impossible as a solo task. Mu Qing had gotten his act together enough to realise he needed to help and was hacking at some of them with his sabre, but it was hardly making a dent. Feng Xin might have aided him if he hadn't realised His Highness had been very quiet.
Too quiet.
Below the acrid smell of ash and age old decay he could smell the fresher scent of blood.
"Your Highness...?"
Turning his head to look over at where Xie Lian had been standing, he saw that he stood no more. Instead he knelt, the same charred ghosts clambering over him, nearly enveloping him as they tore at anything they could reach. His hands were clamped over his mouth as if muffling a scream, and his eyes poured with tears as they fixated on the scrambling corpses. They tore at his clothes with sharpened nails, leaving gashes in the skin beneath as if it were paper. They grasped at his neck as if trying to choke him. They grabbed at his arms as if trying to yank them roughly away from his mouth.
In that time, His Highness never once looked like he was responding to the pain. He simply looked deeply fearful of the ghosts, as if he had gone into complete shock.
One of them placed a hand on his chest, palm flat and fingers splayed, much more calmly and calculated that the others acted. It was almost unnerving to watch the difference. After a few moments Xie Lian's eyes widened in horror and he finally let out a strained whimper.
The ghost dissipated. Beneath where it's hand had been a red stain began to spread, and Xie Lian's eyes fell to it, shell shocked. His hands fell away from his mouth, agape in what could only be described as abject terror, and the ghosts took the opportunity to drag his arms behind him in restraint. Others replaced them at his mouth to muffle him themselves. The roughness with which they yanked his head back caused him to yelp tearfully, finally drawing the others attention.
A second hand moved to splay itself on his chest, repeating the actions of the first. The sound he made beneath the fingers pinning his mouth shut was positively wretched.
"SaVEUsSAVeusSavEUSSAveUs"
"No! Don’t you dare, not again, please! Let go of him! Please you have to let him go right now! "
Hua Cheng shouted babbled pleas in the most panicked sound Feng Xin had ever heard from him, tripling his efforts to free himself of the hindrances at his feet. He only succeeded at stumbling pathetically as he stayed in place, struggling to right himself. The second hand dissipated and a third made it's move as the red stain on His Highness's chest grew.
“Please! Please stop, you have to let him go! Let him go! ”
That was the first time Feng Xin had ever heard Hua Cheng beg. In another situation he might be smug, but instead he only felt the most viscerally raw agony in his screech. As if Hua Cheng knew what was coming next. As if he knew he had no power here. The word ‘ again ’ rattled around his head.
"What... What's happening?" Mu Qing mumbled, wide eyed from shock. "What are they doing to him? Why are they dissipating now?"
"Just shut up and do something!" Feng Xin yelled, finally scraping enough of himself together to step up.
His bow would be inefficient for such a task, but he luckily had the forethought to bring HongJing with him, and attempted to cut the ghosts away with the speed only panic fuelled adrenaline could provide.
As with Mu Qing and Hua Cheng's attempts, it wasn't enough, and anything they cut away simply reformed, a relentless tidal wave working against them. The crowd was too dense to actually reach any of the ones grabbing at His Highness anyway. The only way they were leaving was once they finished doing whatever it was they were doing to Xie Lian, who seemed to be in a blind panic at this point, hyperventilating under their grasp.
Hua Cheng didn't look much better. He was struggling against his captors pitifully, eye like a saucer and wet with his own tears, distraught howls tearing from his throat as he resorted to frantically attempting to claw his way out of the mass. With all his strength as a Ghost King he should have been able to break away easily, and yet he seemed helpless. E-Ming was silent at his side, and he called none of his powers to his aid. Thinking back to the failure of the butterfly shield, Feng Xin wondered if the ghosts had somehow sealed his powers with that wave.
It didn't matter. If Hua Cheng couldn't help then it was up to them. Mu Qing had given up attempting to help Hua Cheng and instead came to frantically help with Xie Lian, who had gone nearly silent at that point, only making odd squeaks and whimpers. He seemed almost catatonic, and drenched in his own blood. The front of his robes hung forward unnaturally and his throat appeared slit, though Feng Xin wasn't sure when that had happened.
He wasn't sure of many things, like why this was happening, or how effective they even were at even helping, but in any case the crowd was definitely considerably thinner. Watching the ghost he had just decapitated carry on like nothing happened, he figured it probably wasn’t due to his own efforts.
He could reach the ones directly restraining Xie Lian now however, and with a desperate sort of triumph raised HongJing to knock away another arm reaching to His Highness's now gutted chest.
Then he caught sight of something in the reflection and stopped.
On one side of the blade he saw a crying woman clutching a familiar black sword in shaking hands, seemingly stealing herself to use it. After swallowing thickly, she scrunched her eyes shut and lunged forward. On the other side of the blade, he saw the reflection of Xie Lian as he was now, catatonic, but dead unseeing eyes streaming with tears as he laid on an altar. His chest was completely gored, and the black blade of Fang Xin only milled the unidentifiable mess of organs around more.
He realised that in watching this scene play out another ghost had finished with His Highness and the woman in the reflection was gone. A new hand reached out as an older man appeared in the reflection instead.
"What the hell are you gawping at, do something!" Mu Qing yelled at him from a state of complete and furious disarray.
His eyes were wild, seeming as infinitely frustrated at his inability to stop this as Feng Xin did, still uselessly hacking at the swarms. There were so few left and Xie Lian was not making any sound or movement anymore. The only thing they could hear was their own heavy breathing and the sound of Hua Cheng's now incomprehensible babbling of apologies and begging from behind them.
He looked an absolute wreck, bowed on his knees, face ugly with tears but obscured by his unkempt hair. He wasn't looking at Xie Lian anymore, as if he couldn't bear it, and barely seemed to be fighting back anymore, only weakly bellowing out sobs.
There were so few ghosts left waiting their turn with Xie Lian now. He was so pale and quiet. Feng Xin could identify at last, somewhat clinically in a detached sense of horror, that the bulge in the front of his robes were his organs spilling out of his chest, held in only by a few flimsy rows of fabric that was absolutely drenched in his life blood.
HongJing fell limply from Feng Xins grip as he dropped to his knees.
Why? Why did this happen?
(How much left was there to save?)
The last ghost finished and Xie Lian slumped lifelessly to the ground on his side, eyes staring forward at nothing, mouth dripping with blood as he breathed thinly in wheezes. Feng Xin would not forget the sound the sack of organs in his robes made as he fell. As Mu Qing, pale and sickly looking, turned away with a hand covering his mouth he figured he wasn't alone in the matter.
The arms holding Hua Cheng back melted away, their purpose apparently filled, and Hua Cheng immediately broke into a frenzied stumble over to his husband's wounded form. He knelt at his side, holding back his sobs as best as he could as his hands hovered over him in anguish as if unsure whether he should touch him lest he fall apart more.
Eventually he settled on closing the others eyes as if he were sleeping, before weakly brushing some of the hair from out of his husband's face and tucking it behind his ear with shaky fingers. It smeared splattered blood over his cheek a little morbidly, and he instead shifted to cradle his head in his arms, leaning in as if to shield him from the rest of the world with his body.
He took a hard, shaking breath, and he sobbed the most broken sound Feng Xin has ever heard.
As he did earlier, he turned away to give the couple their privacy in an intimate moment, and Mu Qing did the same. This time it was in silence, for if they spoke, it would surely give away the fact that they were weeping themselves.
It had been a week since ‘the event’, and neither Feng Xin nor Mu Qing had received any follow up since Hua Cheng had absconded with their friend.
As soon as he had regained enough clarity to realise his powers were back and he could get Xie Lian help, he had whisked him away to the safety of their home and gone blackout silent ever since. It was disconcerting, but no news is good news they say.
On the other hand, Xie Lian was the type to keep people informed, so if they had heard nothing then in all likelihood he hadn’t yet recovered. He did sustain catastrophic injury after all, and even with the massive spiritual energy reserves between them it would surely take longer than a week to heal. Right?
Perhaps being left in the balance of uncertainty was just taking its toll on Feng Xin and he was overthinking and everything was fine. He’d like to think that was the case at least.
He and Mu Qing had busied themselves investigating the forest for any signs of stragglers, but the place seemed completely clean ever since. They had even received a plethora of merits and offerings for solving the problem, so officially the case was closed.
‘Officially’.
‘Officially’ didn’t care how the job got done as long as it was done. After witnessing something like that though, Feng Xin didn’t think he could afford not to care. In a rare moment of camaraderie, he seemed to actually share this sentiment with Mu Qing.
Fearsome in their arguments with each other they may be, but united against a common enemy that strength was doubled. That was how they found themselves in the lobby of Paradise Manor, angrily arguing with ghostly staff to be allowed to see their friend.
The regular staff! Not even Yin Yu had come to see them away. Even despite the situation, it was hard not to take it as an insult coming from Hua Cheng.
(At least being insulted seemed normal to combat that horrendously grief stricken wailing that still echoed in their ears from the last time they had met. They were hardly about to admit to it though.)
It took about an hour and a half of arguing back and forth intermixed with attempts to simply force their way in, but eventually Yin Yu did come to deal with them personally, so Feng Xin allowed himself some sense of triumph at the progress.
“Chengzhu respectfully requests that the Generals of the South please leave, lest he come to less respectfully remove them himself.” He bowed, ever the face of propriety even when delivering threats.
At least Feng Xin hadn’t tricked himself into thinking this was going to be easy. They had prepared for a battle and they were ready to deliver it.
“Tell your Chengzhu he can respectfully get his backside out here to tell us what’s going on before we less respectfully find him ourselves! You can’t just kick us out, we have a right to see His Highness and you know it!”
Yin Yu’s eyes seemed to drain a little at that.
“Are you sure you want to?”
It was at that moment that Feng Xin noticed how strung out and exhausted he looked. Not that he didn’t look like that usually, as was the fate of an overworked errand boy in a city built on chaos. It was just the way he carried himself currently seemed to be of one carrying a weight on their shoulders that was only getting heavier.
“What’s that supposed to mean? What’s wrong with him?” Mu Qing needled in a way that was intended to come across as annoyance, but bled with concern. “Is he not getting better? It can’t have gotten worse right?”
Yin Yu bit his lip, seemingly debating how to answer.
“It’s not just his physical condition…” He trailed off in a sort of mutter, and Feng Xin got the distinct impression that he wasn’t talking to them.
“In any case, Chengzhu isn’t in the mood for visitors. I’m sure you’re well aware his temper is best avoided, and he’s been particularly upset lately. You should leave for everyone's sake.”
And then in a more gentle, but tired tone:
“Let them rest.”
It was logically the best decision, but it still didn’t feel satisfying as an answer.
“We won’t bother them.” Mu Qing sighed, arms crossed. “Just tell us if His Highness is alright.”
It was rare for Mu Qing to express open concern, and Feng Xin suddenly felt the gravity of the situation weigh back on him, opening back up his wounds of repressed exhaustion.
“His Highness is stable, but sleeping deeply. He will recover. He just needs time. Please give him space until then.”
Feng Xin sighed a deep breath. It seemed to be as good as they’d get for now.
“You’ll keep us informed if the situation changes?” He asked.
“Of course. Is there anything else I can do for you?”
He was clearly itching to close the conversation up and get back to work, but something else was biting at Feng Xin.
“...Is Crimson Rain okay?”
“...We will see.”
--
When Xie Lian first woke, he felt like he hadn’t.
He floated in between the lines of consciousness and unconsciousness like it was the best place to be. He couldn’t remember exactly how he had come to be asleep, but he thought that perhaps he should stay that way. At least for now.
Until he was awake again, but not.
His body was awake, his eyes open, half lidded, and he could somewhat envision his surroundings. Despite that his head was cloudy.
It was by design, he knew. He didn’t want to think about anything. It was a defense mechanism he had become well aware of over his years, that when something awful finally happened (as it always would) he would simply refuse to acknowledge it for as long as he could.
Such a blissful state of mindlessness would not last forever, and he would have to deal with the consequences eventually, but at least for now he would give himself some reprieve. Why scare himself wondering what he had lost this time? There are other, better things to think about. For example, from his position laid on his side and staring at the wall he could see that the paint was starting to chip where it met the floor. They would need to do something about that soon.
Who’s they? Nevermind, thinking about the wider world would only hurt for now. He wondered idly what he should have for lunch before wondering if he could even have lunch at all.
It was getting harder to ignore what he might have lost.
At some point somebody came to feed him anyway, so at least he wasn’t completely alone. He couldn’t really focus on the person, but he felt them take his hands into theirs.
(Were they really being that gentle, or was his sense of touch just that muted?)
He wasn’t sure what they were doing, hands fluttering all over, until they moved to help sit him up while he sagged bonelessly. He felt a little bad not being able to help support himself, but he was so tired, and his body was in that special stage of hurt where if he acknowledged how bad it truly was there would be no going back.
The person at least seemed to realise that though he was awake he was not quite responsive enough to really be considered so, and instead rearranged the pillows to prop him up in a half seated rest. The knowledge that he was somewhere with an excess of pillows made Xie Lian absently realise he was somewhere rather wealthy and luxurious. He was clearly being treated to such, but he couldn't really feel any of the niceties surrounding him, instead feeling numb all over.
He could feel something pressed to his lips, but only because he felt the movement of something warm and liquid being poured into his mouth, bringing some sensation back to him. A broth, he supposed. He suddenly realised how empty his stomach was, and made some effort to swallow. The person feeding him seemed to respond positively to that, enthusiastically moving to stroke his hair and cup his cheek as they fed him more, faint praise echoing distantly in his ears.
He was happy to have made them happy, and even more grateful for the kind touches. They had a somewhat soporific effect on him, and he leaned into them when they lingered. Eventually he fell asleep with the sensation of a thumb stroking his cheek, and wondered how long it would last.
--
When he woke up the next time he remembered everything, and was unable to put it out of mind again.
He at least had enough presence to move this time, if only shakily. He didn't want to look at his chest, fearing what he may see there, but still he hunched over in his bed with eyes screwed shut as he ran his fingers over the expanse to map out the damage. It was completely numb, and the feeling of his hands running over the regular, natural lines and divots of his chest became skewed in his mind as his imagination went wild, envisioning them as cuts and carvings of his flesh.
Hua Cheng had not left his side the entire healing process. He held him through his tears and screams as he frantically tried to shovel imaginary organs back into his chest, only letting go when the embrace felt too much like restraints holding him down. If his husband wept too, he couldn’t hear it beneath his own.
--
Eventually his wakeful moments calmed down to numb lethargy again. He spent most of his time sleeping, wrapped up in bed with Hua Cheng, the two of them clinging to each other like lifelines in a storm. He knew Hua Cheng was also suffering, but he didn’t know what to do about it, and instead just held him through his trembling and nightmares, whispering the best comforts he could muster and pressing kisses into his hairline.
His beloved was strong, and so was he himself, but to be so thoroughly desecrated despite that weighed on the other, he knew. After all, what was the point of accumulating so much power if it were circumvented so easily? It was a huge blow to Hua Cheng, and he wasn’t sure how to reassure him properly. If he could be reassured at all even.
Yin Yu kept them informed of the outside world while they lay in their own to recuperate. They heard of Feng Xin and Mu Qing’s investigation into whatever remained of the forest ghosts and how they had all seemed to have moved on, but Hua Cheng didn’t feel comfortable taking their word for it until he sent his own people to investigate.
He knew it was just to make himself feel better, the result of desperate paranoia, but Xie Lian knew in his freshly reformed heart that those ghosts had completed their business now. They wouldn’t be back.
It didn’t mean their mark didn’t remain though.
--
It was about 2 months until Feng Xin and Mu Qing were accepted as visitors, and having been turned away so many times and blocked from contacting via the communication array, they were going a little insane. Being left to one's own imagination is its own form of small torture after all.
Of course, they deserved privacy and time to heal, the entire event was obviously traumatising, but Mu Qing and Feng Xin were inextricably part of it too now. Their friend was severely injured in front of them on their job. Naturally they wanted to make sure he was okay.
Yin Yu was the one to greet them and lead them through the manor, Feng Xin noted. He had been their point of contact with Xie Lian the past two months so it wasn’t too weird. It was just that before all this it was always His Highness coming to greet them personally whenever they visited, so it just made the situation feel even more wrong. Worse was when he actually saw His Highness himself.
He looked dead.
Not physically wounded, no, those had healed, but something else hadn’t. The fact that he hadn’t particularly risen from bed to have this conversation spoke to how exhausted he must feel. It wasn’t like him to not even pretend. Feng Xin would have liked to tell himself that maybe it was good that he wasn’t hiding it, that he was opening up instead of repressing things as he used to. As he looked into his friends eyes, dull and unchanging even as he realised he had company however, he knew it was just that he was too tired to pretend at the moment.
He wondered if they should have given it more time.
“Well?” Hua Cheng spoke from the bedside.
Comparatively, his eye was very bright, alive with an intense ferocity Feng Xin hadn’t seen since that final battle with Jun Wu. It was alert and mistrusting, watching for any sudden movements like he didn’t quite believe they were safe. Almost unconsciously Feng Xin decided to keep his hands where the other could see them.
“You wanted to be here so desperately, what do you want?”
“San Lang, it’s okay.”
Xie Lian sounded as tired as he looked, but not in a haggard way. In the way one might when they had just woken up from a nap. In the way that somebody with a known habit of repressing themselves and placating others might speak gently out of politeness. He made small stroking gestures over Hua Cheng’s hand where they were holding each other, but Feng Xin couldn’t tell who was supposed to be comforted by such actions.
“I’m sorry we’re not in better shape to greet you. Have you been offered tea yet?”
Ah, he was avoiding the real problem again. Feng Xin was about to reply politely, but Mu Qing seemed too impatient to play these games anymore.
“We’re not here for tea. Can you just be honest with us and tell us how you’re doing? You’ve been ignoring us for months! And we haven’t been able to finish writing our reports until we get your side of the story.”
He obviously only added the last line as an afterthought because he was embarrassed about seeming concerned, but it still seemed harsh to Feng Xin. They were obviously shaken up, and if the way they both tensed uncomfortably was anything to go off, they weren’t too keen on the prospect of recounting the experience.
“You don’t need our testimony. If that’s all you’re here for then get out and don’t come back.” Hua Cheng growled, grip tightening on Xie Lian’s hand.
“We kinda do! I know you did your own investigations after ours, and if you found anything we didn’t, we need to know! I also asked if you’re okay by the way, but if you’re gonna get confrontational then maybe I don’t care.”
“What the hell’s your problem!” Feng Xin wheeled on him. That was too far. “If they don’t want to speak then they do have to, keep your complaints to yourself!”
“It’s fine, really.” Xie Lian repeated. “If you need to know then you need to know. The ghosts have all finished their business now, they won’t be coming back. You can close your reports with that.”
“We can’t. We could tell on our own they had moved on, we need to know why they behaved like that in the first place.”
It wasn’t a lie. They really did need to know for the sake of records, but it was blatantly obvious Mu Qing was needling out of his own curiosity. The two were also rather obvious in that they clearly knew more about the situation than they were letting on, but there’s a limit to how much you can press before it becomes cruel. The point of coming here was to make sure they were okay, not make it worse.
“We can just leave the reports open as inconclusive.” Feng Xin offered. He wouldn't force them to talk if they didn’t want to.
“But-”
“We can just leave the reports open as inconclusive.” He reiterated firmly to cut off Mu Qing’s arguments. The other hesitated a second before giving in, crossing his arms with a huff.
“Yeah. Fine. We’ll just do that.” He acquiesced.
Xie Lian was silent throughout the exchange, seemingly debating what to respond to, if at all. He didn’t look like he was coming to a conclusion anytime soon, and Hua Cheng hadn’t lessened his warning glare either, so their distress was still more than obvious. Feng Xin couldn’t take the awkwardness anymore.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But if you do, or you just want to get out of the house or something, we’re here for you.” He said. It sounded a little awkward, but only because he was being sincere. “At least I am anyway. I dunno about this guy.” He added, just as a poor attempt to break the tension.
“What do you mean you don’t know? Of course he’s welcome at my palace anytime!” He got in return angrily.
It seemed like adding some sort of competitive element really was the only way to get Mu Qing to be honest. Feng Xin would be mad about it, but it made the whole situation feel a little more normal, their old banter bubbling to the surface. Small laughter roused from Xie Lian, and he saw, with mounting hope that some of the light in his eyes was back.
“Thank you.” He said, quiet but meaningfully. “And San Lang too?”
Ah, he had to ask that at a time when they couldn’t say no. The slight mischievous glint in his smile made him wonder if he was teasing them on purpose and his heart lightened a little.
“If he behaves himself.”
“I don’t want to go to your trash heaps anyway. I’ll only go to keep Gege company.” Hua Cheng grunted sulkily. He still had a tight grip on Xie Lian’s hand, but he had relaxed a modicum, which was an achievement in itself.
“Then, maybe we’ll come over eventually.” Xie Lian said. “I think we might need some more time, but eventually.”
It held the weight of a promise behind it, in that special sincere way that Xie Lian spoke when he was trying to reassure someone other than himself, and Feng Xin wondered briefly if they had been too pushy about it. Despite that, the others' smiles never wavered, and he could see gratitude in his eyes.
“Whatever. No need to rush. Or get too sentimental about it.” Mu Qing mumbled, looking away abashedly and earning another appreciative laugh from Xie Lian.
It’d be alright, Feng Xin thought. Xie Lian had recovered from everything he’d faced in the past.
But this time he hopefully wouldn’t have to do so alone.
--
Feng Xin stopped keeping track of how much time passed after that. After all, wouldn’t dwelling on it just impede the healing process? He worried of course, and still dropped by the manor with Mu Qing to check up on them and talk about this and that, but they had avoided serious talks since. They seemed to be doing better for it, the tension lines in their faces never gone, but receding more with each visit.
It didn’t matter if the scars didn’t heal completely right? So long as they were getting better.
It wasn’t until Feng Xin caught sight of Xie Lian conversing with Ling Wen outside her palace that he saw the other outside of his bedroom however. He was unsure whether to approach or give him space until Xie Lian noticed him and waved.
“Ah, Feng Xin! I was just about to come find you.” He called, excusing himself from talking with Ling Wen with a bow and some muttered words before lightly jogging over. “Sorry, are you busy at all? I can wait.”
“No no, it’s fine, I was just on my way back to my palace. Did you want to come?”
The real question there was whether he was ready to talk, and they both knew it. If Xie Lian was uncomfortable at all with the question he didn’t show it though. He seemed to be acting as he usually would as if nothing happened, loose and good natured. It should be reassuring, but Feng Xin wondered if that just meant he had become used to hiding his pains worse than he thought. Was it like this before and he just hadn’t realised?
He pushed it from his mind as Xie Lian nodded his affirmations and stood to walk beside him. If he wanted to talk now then that was all that mattered. All progress was progress.
“Want me to call Mu Qing?” He asked tentatively.
“If he’s not busy.”
He was and Feng Xin knew it. He called anyway.
--
The three of them sat around the table at Puqi shrine as they had done so before all this, sipping tea in silence. Xie Lian still hadn’t replaced that table, Feng Xin noticed, and he made extra effort not to put too much weight on it. Mu Qing at his side was sitting with his arms crossed and seemingly avoiding touching anything at all, coming across as very awkward despite his horrible attempt to act casual. He was so bad at pretending not to care, but it didn’t feel right to make fun of him at that moment.
“So.” Xie Lian spoke up rather decisively. “Where would you like to start?”
With the confidence of his voice, it was as if nothing were amiss to him. They could be talking about the weather with that sort of tone. On the one hand Feng Xin was grateful he had prepared and composed himself. There was no way they were getting around having an emotional conversation, but at least if they kept their wits about them it’d be easier to get through.
On the other, it felt inappropriate for the weight of the situation. Wasn’t the point of this to help Xie Lian? How could they achieve that if he were still suppressing his upset?
“Where’s Crimson Rain? Should he not be here for this too?” He asked. He’d been so clingy ever since, and suddenly not having his ever ominous presence hovering about felt unusual.
“Did you particularly want him here? I thought I’d spare you all the struggle of trying to get San Lang to talk about things in front of the two of you.” The lilt in his voice made it obvious he was attempting to rouse banter, but it just made that growing pit in the bottom of Feng Xin’s stomach feel even more uneasy.
“It doesn’t matter, you’re right, he’d be awful to deal with. So why don’t you just tell us for yourself what the deal with those ghosts is?”
God, can he ever reign it in a little? Mu Qing was as frustrated as he was, Feng Xin was sure, but this sort of bluntness was too much. Xie Lian’s fingers twitched a little where he was holding his cup, but his face didn’t change from a casual placating smile.
(It was a fake smile, Feng Xin had come to know. It was well practiced, but when compared to the way he smiled with Hua Cheng it became impossible to mistake how forced his usual were. He had been smiling more genuinely more often before all this. He hadn’t since. It was remarkable how so much progress could be lost in an instant.)
“They’re people whose death I was responsible for a long time ago. Their business was with me and upon completing it they moved on. So it’s over and done with now.”
“So it was revenge?” Mu Qing asked a little skeptically
“Something like that.”
He spoke conversationally, but it was obvious his words were carefully chosen. How long had he rehearsed this? It seemed like he was trying to give enough of an explanation to sound reasonable, but avoiding giving any specific details at the same time. Feng Xin coldly and abruptly realised that he wasn’t opening up to them at all, and instead was simply trying to appease their concerns by making it seem like the situation was over.
They’d seen too much for that however. Feng Xin, in his frustration, suddenly remembered something that made him even more uneasy about the claim.
“Wait wait, hold on. It was revenge? That didn’t seem like revenge.”
“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.”
“I had HongJing with me that night. I saw those ghosts as they were alive and I saw you too.” Xie Lian’s smile finally faltered a little, becoming more strained as he paled a little. “I don’t know what that was, but it was not revenge.”
“Wait wait, what did you see? And you didn’t tell me!” Mu Qing asked, scandalised.
“It wasn’t pleasant, and I still don’t know what I saw! I didn’t want to go gabbing if it were personal to His Highness or something!”
“Well good job bringing it up on your own then, really tactful!”
“At least I’m trying, just admit you’re just here to sate your curiosity!”
“Bullshit, don’t project your own problems onto me!”
“You-”
“Enough.”
Xie Lian had dropped his smile at last, now replaced by a tight frown and a troubled look. It was hardly an improvement, but at least he wasn’t pretending everything was okay anymore.
“It doesn’t matter. Speak how you will. You’re right, I should have been honest, I’ve been a bad host inviting you all the way out here and not even- Do you want more tea? I can get us more tea, let me go boil some more water.”
He was obviously flustered, fiddling with his sleeves and flapping about a little before attempting to stand up. It was only an attempt, because in his haste he knocked the table with his knee sending the buns on the plate in the centre rolling off the edge again and quickly stumbled to catch them. It was unsuccessful flailing really, and he tripped over his robes to land on the floor, ultimately only being able to catch one. Despite that, Feng Xin and Mu Qing were quick enough to catch the remaining two each, returning them to the centre with a sigh.
“Are you okay? You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, just be more careful yeah?”
Xie Lian half picked himself up from the floor, looking at the buns in the middle with a contemplative expression. After a moment's hesitation, he placed his own back on the plate with them, and resettled himself with an odd expression as he continued to observe them.
“No, it’s fine. I’m fine.”
“You don’t look it. We can leave if you’re not ready, it’s fine-”
“It was White No-Face.”
He said it suddenly and in one breath, quick enough that Feng Xin didn’t have enough time to be shocked before he continued to speak.
“During my first banishment he lured me and a bunch of people to that temple and began spreading the Human Face Disease among them. They were forced to kill me to cure themselves, but were interrupted before they could all finish as the temple burned down, killing them.” A deep breath. “We believe Jun Wu was keeping them sealed in case he… needed them again. And after his defeat they were able to break free and seek to complete their task.”
“San Lang was the one who stopped them, so they built up their power to make sure he couldn’t stop them again. That’s why the two of us were targeted and not you. We were the ones involved in their death.”
He spoke so detached it was disturbing, stoney faced but pointedly avoiding meeting anyones eyes. Despite that, he practically radiated anxiety, and Feng Xin finally felt confident that he wasn’t holding back anymore. He was just incalculably tired and trying to hold it together for the duration of the conversation.
The weight of his words sunk in. This had happened before.
“When was this?” Feng Xin asked.
“Huh? During my first banishment. I just said.”
“No, when during your first banishment? Before or after I left?”
He knew the answer wouldn’t be good either way, but he had to know. He would have had to deal with it alone given the timeframe. It wasn’t healthy to dwell on ‘what ifs’ he knew, but he still needed to know if it was preventable. If he had just left his friend to that fate. He barely registered his fists trembling where they were clenched in his robes.
“It doesn’t really matter does it? I was the one who told you to leave in any case, so if you were going to blame yourself, don’t. It’s all in the past.”
“But it’s not!” He was frustrated enough that he didn’t have it in him to care that he had raised his voice. “If it were over with we wouldn’t be here! You wouldn’t be this upset!”
“I’m not upset-”
“Yes you are! Stop schooling yourself, stop talking like you’re detached from the whole thing, stop pretending like you’re okay! You’re hurting and that’s fine. If you don’t want to open up with us then don’t, but don’t bottle it up like this. Find an outlet. And if you need help with that we’re here.”
There was a beat of silence after that. Mu Qing was uncomfortably silent on the side while Feng Xin panicked a little wondering if he’d been too pushy. Before he could speak up, he heard a shaky exhale instead.
“You’re right, you’re right.” He brushed a hand through his hair anxiously, voice wavering. “It’s just- It’s just hard to talk about you know? And there’s nothing to even do about it anymore so I don’t- I don’t know it’s just-”
And the dam broke. He crumpled in on himself a little, finally allowing himself to cry deep and unrestrained sobs. Flustered, the other two shuffled up to his side, hands fluttering around in little panicked touches, unsure what to do.
“Ah, to hell with it.” Feng Xin mumbled, and finally settled on pulling the other into a tight hold.
He felt marginally less awkward when Xie Lian didn’t pull away and instead adjusted to curl into him, though whether it was in appreciation of the comfort or the grounding nature of a familiar presence he wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter he supposed. Mu Qing continued to hover abashedly, looking like he wanted to join in but unsure of how to proceed. God if he couldn’t be a little more spontaneous. Looked like he’d need a nudge along.
“Get in here idiot.” He hissed, but couldn’t bring himself to be too annoyed. It was a little too high emotion for that. At least he obliged without looking too horrendously aggrieved before it could get anymore awkward.
The three of them sat like that for a while, until Xie Lian burned himself out and then some, just sat holding each other in silence. Another time they may feel embarrassed, and maybe they would later, but for now they only felt a strange sense of catharsis.
And from the tired body nestled safely in the depths of their embrace he heard a faint voice.
“You know, back then, White No-Face was trying to convince me I was alone. That nobody cared.”
A tiny, but genuine giggle resounded, and Xie Lian sat up straight beaming from ear to ear. His eyes were still a little teary but it was the first real smile he had worn in far too long.
“Thank you.”
--
When Xie Lian returned home, it was with a lighter heart. Not completely healed, that may never happen really, but one with the knowledge that even if it didn’t it could always get better. He was not alone anymore. Maybe adjusting to that fact would take time, but he had made the first steps.
He certainly couldn’t forget his companionship with his husband clinging to him like a particularly affectionate octopus as soon as he walked through the doors anyway. Had he been waiting there the entire time?
“How did it go? Was Gege okay? Do you need anything? Come back to bed, you must be tired, I’ll have someone bring us something to eat.”
He had been exceptionally reluctant to part with Xie Lian since the event , and even now seemed to be attempting to stay as close as possible, wrapping him up in his arms and pressing soft kisses to everything in reach. It brought a tired smile to Xie Lian’s face as he tried to navigate them back to the sanctum of their room without tripping over each other.
“I’m fine, it went okay I think.” He said, returning a light kiss to the cheek back. “Is San Lang okay?”
“Of course, San Lang’s been at home all day waiting dutifully for Gege’s return.”
It was a simple and confident reply, as if it were perfectly natural, but it was an answer Xie Lian had been concerned about receiving. It was easy for Xie Lian to brush off his own discomforts and act like everything was okay, but it left him an expert on spotting the same behaviour in others. He had his friends to call him out on it, but Hua Cheng had no one. No one except Xie Lian.
As they reached their room to settle into bed, Hua Cheng made to continue holding him to his chest, but Xie Lian took the opportunity to collect him into his arms instead. The embrace was returned and Hua Cheng snuggled in contently
“You’re allowed to be honest you know? You don’t have to just say you’re okay for me.”
“I’m not. I’m honestly happy to just have Gege in my arms like this, where I know he’s safe.”
“Then why haven’t you left the manor?”
“To look after Gege of course.”
“And while I was away? You had time to get back to your own life.”
“Gege’s my life. I needed to be here when he got back.”
It was something of a battle to get Hua Cheng to talk about his feelings on most days, but now he seemed to be particularly closed off to admitting any sort of vulnerability. It wasn’t hard to guess why.
The truth was that Hua Cheng was as affected by the whole event as Xie Lian was, and instead of confronting his supposed weakness, he was instead compensating by trying to eliminate it. Becoming overprotective, anxious enough when Xie Lian left to await his return, refusing to leave the safety of their abode when they were together. Of course this wasn’t regular behaviour, but it wasn’t just for Xie Lian’s sake. It was as if he were trying to make up for a failing on his part.
Xie Lian sighed and stroked a hand through his hair.
“San Lang… You know it wasn’t your fault right?”
Hua Cheng didn’t say anything. From this position his head was resting on Xie Lian’s chest, visibly relaxing into his touch, but his eye was open and not looking at anything in particular, mouth in a thin line. It gave the impression that the touch was a comfort, but not something he was actively able to enjoy.
“Anything that happened was Jun Wu’s fault. Not yours.” He continued, not happy with receiving no answer. He didn’t want his beloved to keep ignoring his own struggles as he had done for so long.
“But I couldn’t stop it.” He finally spoke faintly. “Then or now. What was all this strength for if it made no difference?”
“San Lang…” Xie Lian exhaled, unsure how to proceed.
There were plenty of words he wanted to say, but he didn’t know how to speak them. What if he couldn’t get through to him? What if he spoke wrong and Hua Cheng internalised it? What if Hua Cheng just simply didn’t believe he wasn’t at fault?
“San Lang.” He settled on more firmly, cupping his cheek to pull his face up so they were looking at each other.
Like this, his chin was resting on his chest and looking up with such a face he could pretend he was simply play pretending to be mopey. It was more serious than that of course, but it made it easier to bring a smile to his face so that he could speak more reassuringly.
“Strength isn’t just physical, I’m sure you know well by now. San Lang is the strongest person I know, to stay with me through so many horrid occurrences. To go through so many of his own. Noone else could do that. Does that not matter?”
He beamed at him softly as he spoke, and Hua Cheng’s face softened a little, but didn’t ease up completely.
“But I couldn’t stop it.” He repeated again. “And I- I caused it too. Gege would not have had to go through that again if it weren’t for me.”
“What does that mean? It couldn’t possibly be San Lang’s fault.” It was an absurd conclusion, and Xie Lian couldn’t fathom how he had come to it, but he sounded genuinely ashamed.
“I was the one who killed them. I cut them short and they weren’t able to- to finish. They continued on because of me. And now Gege feels that he has to comfort me instead of focusing on himself. I’m sorry.”
He clung to Xie Lian a little tighter, but faced away again to lay his cheek on his chest. His expression was the mournful kind you’d see on somebody awaiting a sentence at trial, and it hurt Xie Lian’s heart more deeply than any sword ever could. How long had he felt this way? Had he blamed himself back then too? And Xie Lian hadn’t noticed…
“San Lang, listen to me.” He said, shifting Hua Cheng back to look at him again, “It’s not your fault. Everything was Jun Wu, and you were a victim too. No matter what happened you’re allowed to accept comfort and support regardless of my circumstances, and I’d be grateful to give you it. Do you believe me?”
He had started the sentence speaking firmly, but a smile slipped back onto his face as he finished, in what he hoped was an encouraging gesture. Hua Cheng’s walls were visibly breaking down, so he felt reassured that it was working at least.
“Always.” Hua Cheng croaked a little emotionally.
“Then will you believe me when I say I want to protect San Lang too? Even from his own bad thoughts, I want San Lang to be happy. Will San Lang support me in this goal?”
“...Okay.” He whispered.
He ducked his head back down again, but it seemed to be more to hide that he was choking up a bit this time, so Xie Lian let him be. He could feel the other trembling a little, and ran his fingers through his hair softly, not mentioning the growing wet patch he could feel through his robes.
“I love San Lang very much. I hope you know that.”
“I love you too.”
--
Four fools were seated at Puqi shrine, one serving food enthusiastically, one equally keen on what was being dished up, and the other two politely keeping quiet about their queasiness. It was the first time the four had gotten together in a while after all so they didn’t want to ruin it, even if the present company seemed adamant about using this fact against them.
“Gege’s cooking has really improved lately. Won’t you try his new recipe? It’s so good you should be grateful I’m willing to share.” Hua Cheng smiled insincerely at them as he lent on the (newly constructed) table, head in palm.
“Oh yes, I’d appreciate some more feedback!” Xie Lian chimed in more seriously. “San Lang will just say anything’s good, so your opinions would be great.”
“Well maybe all of Gege’s cooking is good!” He pouted. “Do you not trust my opinion anymore?”
“Of course, but San Lang is a flatterer! It’d be worth it to ask other people.”
“Fine, fine. Though it pains me greatly, it looks like I’ve no choice but to allow the two of you to eat your fill.”
The concession and accompanying grin was as good as a threat, and they could only pale as they realised it was not one they could back down from. Not with Xie Lian looking so hopeful on the sidelines.
“Right. Okay.” Feng Xin muttered in an attempt to hype himself up.
It’s nothing deadly. Probably. It’s only… uh… what was being ladled up right now? It couldn’t possibly be stew, it’s thicker than tar… At the very least it didn’t smell bad, but he was fairly certain it was its own bad sign that an entire bowl of food had no smell at all. He eyed Mu Qing to see what he thought only to catch him doing the same at him.
“You first.” He hissed in faux politeness.
He almost shot back, but Xie Lian was so wide eyed and expectant looking that he could only acquiesce. Deciding to just rip the band aid off in one go, he scooped a random spoonful and shoved it in his mouth, swallowing as quickly as he could. It was not quick enough to avoid the taste.
“You okay?” Xie Lian asked.
He thought it was Xie Lian anyway. He couldn’t particularly make anything out through his watering eyes and choked out coughs, but he saw a vaguely human shaped white blob hovering over him so it was safe to assume.
“He was moved to tears, it was so good! I could hardly say better myself.” Hua Cheng exclaimed in far too chipper a manner, clapping his hands together in appreciation. “Perhaps the good General Xuan Zhen would like to sample the same delights?”
Mu Qing, who had not taken his eyes off Feng Xin now writhing on the floor, started as if his very life had been threatened.
“Uh. You know, you seem to be out of water. We’ll go get some more. Need a palette cleanser to really uh. Appreciate. The flavour.” He stuttered in a hurry. Jumping to his feet with the speed of someone preparing for a great battle, he grabbed Feng Xin by the legs and dragged him away over the porch, taking no care for the others head knocking into everything in its path limply. “We’ll be outside, no need to wait for us to start eating, feel free to continue without us!”
The door slammed and they were on their own. Xie Lian finally allowed himself a fond laugh.
“San Lang that was mean.”
“Meaner than Gege? I know you have ‘safe’ food for guests tucked away, you wanted to tease them too.”
That just made them both laugh, not loudly, but in a comfortable, content way.
“I couldn’t help it. It was just nice to see everyone back to normal, so for old times sake.”
The first dregs of normalcy had set in a while ago, but it took its own time to really feel like ‘normal’ was normal again, after getting used to simply existing for so long. Even longer to adjust to the new normal of having people to lean on.
“At least they only excused themselves outside instead of running away this time, maybe they’ll stick around for longer now.”
“Do they have to? What do they even have to come over for, wasn’t it nice to just have a day out of the manor ourselves?”
Hua Cheng’s mopey face as he pouted his cheeks at Xie Lian was too adorable to not squish, and he indulged the impulse gleefully as he slumped to lean into him.
“They asked first this time actually!” He was quite chuffed to not be the one extending the invite for once. “Well, sort of. They said something about me winning a bet? I don’t really remember it, but they asked what I wanted to do and I just wanted some quality time together really. Does that bother San Lang?”
“Nothing that makes Gege happy could ever bother me.” He said, pressing a soft kiss to his hair fondly. “It’s nice to see Gege smiling again.”
“Ugh, you haven’t eaten and you’re being sappy?” Mu Qing groaned as the door opened back up.
Feng Xin was trailing behind him, looking faint as a ghost but functional enough to stand. He was holding himself like if he opened his mouth he might puke though, which generally wasn’t a good sign. It was probably fine.
“I thought you were getting water? I don’t see anything. Maybe you’d like to leave us again to do it properly?” Hua Cheng wasted no time in firing back, but Xie Lian couldn’t scold him for it. It was just casual fun at this point.
“Just shut up and give me the damn food if you’re not gonna eat it yourself.”
It was the defeated tone of someone who had resigned himself to his fate, and Xie Lian might have offered him some of that ‘safe’ food, had he not already started shovelling as much as he could in his mouth like he was trying to get it over with. Feng Xin turned away in horror, unable to watch as Hua Cheng audibly snickered.
It may not be a peaceful normal, but it didn’t have to be. It was theirs, and that’s all that mattered.